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6 Steps to Have Loving and True Friends in Life


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four loving and true friends with heads joined to express soulmates

If you’re looking for true love in life, you’ll definitely find it in your true friend. True friends love you truly – they love you for what you’re and will never ditch you.

It is correct that true love is found in a soulmate. But, it is not necessary for soulmates to be lovers or partners.

Finding a soulmate might be easier than you think. True friends are also said to be soulmates – one soul in two or more bodies.

You might’ve heard amazing stories about true friends and wondered if you too could’ve true and loving friends in your life.

Believe me; it is not difficult to have a true friend in life.

Remember the saying – what you do to others, others do to you? It holds true in most cases. I’ve seen and experienced that if you are good, most people are also good to you.

Similarly, if you are true and loving to your friends, they’ll reciprocate in the same way.

Who is A True Friend

I wrote about “Who is a Friend” in my earlier post about making friends. The qualities of a friend mentioned there is what really defines a true friend. So, I won’t repeat them here.

You may be attracted to and become best friends with some who are rich, famous, and beautiful because you like their company.

They may not be your true friends but just a bit more than acquaintances. We tend to call any acquaintance as a friend. It is essential to know and understand who friends are.

However, even those people who are not always in your company can be your true friends. They are always true, pure, honest, unselfish, giving, helping, and loving at heart.

Your true friend might not be like you, nor have your interests, or even your mindset. Yet he or she will truly care for you and will do anything to help out.

Difference Between True Friends and True Lovers

True friends and true lovers have so many similarities, yet they differ.

A true friend will love you unconditionally. But he or she is your loving friend in a platonic relationship that is free from physical attractions, lust, or sexual desires.

True friends are not lovers in a physical relationship, but true lovers in a physical relationship should be true friends.

Moreover, true friendship can turn into true love, but true love is always true friendship.

At times you may only want to remain as true friends. But you misunderstand or misjudge your relationship as that of soulmate lovers because of similarities between each other.

Though some people succeed as lovers after being true friends, not everyone is successful in this transformation of relationship.

So you need to clearly understand the feelings, signs, and signals that help you differentiate between a true lover and a true friend.

You should know what you are looking for in the person to make you spend the life with, and to surrender your entire being – mind, body, heart, and soul.

True friendship is a sacred relationship that involves true and ideal love. Such friends are rare and precious. To not lose them, you need to know the limits that you should not cross being true friends.

If you ask how you can have such a loving and true friend in life? I’d say it is by loving, being true, and being good to all your friends.

Among them, you’ll find a few true friends who’ll love and care for you.

true friend

Ways to Be a Loving and True Friend

Here are some ways to have loving friends who remain true and dear to you all the time. They will remain your friends, despite the distance.

Nothing comes easy, so to get friends like diamonds you need to have a heart of gold. You need to make lots of efforts to follow these simple guidelines.

1. Be friends with yourself

It’s like loving yourself. You should be at peace with who and how you are, and feel good about yourself. You should know and understand yourself.

If you like yourself and are comfortable being your own friend, others would like your confidence and want to be your friend.

2. Help others

An old saying goes that you should even love your enemies. However, if not your enemies, at least you can help the ones you know or have a chance to meet.

You’ll create a good impression in the minds of your friends, whom you go out-of-the-way to help. The trust your friends develop in you will take your relationship to the next level.

3. Love your friends

Don’t wait for somebody to love you – take initiation and love your friend. Don’t be selfish and look for something in return. Sincerely care for your friend.

The love you share will make your friend care for you always. The caring and sharing will make your love unconditional and special. Such a bond will make you miss the company of your friend when away.

4. Complete each other

Being true friends, you’d want the best for the other, irrespective of whether you get the best or not. Think and do things that help your friend progress and be successful in life.

As a true friend, you’ll stop the other from doing wrong and going on a path that you know will not be good for him or her. Be concerned about your friend, wherever you are.

5. Always be there

A true friend never dumps or leaves the other when in any problem or adversity. As a true friend, always stand by and beside, and even fight with or for your friend.

In true friendship, people know they can count on each other and be committed. The arguments, disagreements, or fights have no impact on the nature, purity, and strength of their relationship.

6. Be like family

Your love develops into dedication, understanding reinforces into a strong bond, and trust converts into faith. You feel almost like a family.

As your family is important to you, so is your true friend. Whether your friend is of the same or opposite sex, it doesn’t matter because a man and woman can be true friends if they remain within limits.

Spread the Love

You can read my earlier post on developing trust in friendship to know how trust develops in friendship.

Distance among true friends doesn’t matter. You can still express your love on phone, through emails, in chats, and sending messages on the social networking sites.

As a true friend, you don’t need to hide under any mask, nor hide your flaws.

Just be yourself. Be kind, always lend an ear to listen to your friend, and cheer up when he or she is down.

Share their sorrows and celebrate their joys. Remain truthful, be forgiving, and always stay honest and loyal.

Like a true lover, a true friend is your mirror, it’ll always show who you are. You also need to do the same.

There can be a lot said about true friends, which I would love to hear from you.

You’re all my true friends, and I feel good when you open up your heart and mind and share your feelings and thoughts with me.

Always know that I’m here for you, here on this blog or on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+.

Reach out to me anytime, and if you feel like reading what I’ve to say apart from these posts, subscribe to my free newsletter or RSS.

Not to mention that February is also a friendship month, so I had to come up with this post, especially for my dear and loving friends.

Happy Friendship Month everyone!

Over to you –

Do you have true friends in your life? How do you define true friends and lovers, and draw a line to avoid falling in love with them? What do you think one should do to have loving and true friends in life?

 

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos, Lauren Manning



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About Harleena Singh

Harleena Singh is a positive thinker and a freelance writer. She loves to write inspiring and thought provoking posts on self-improvement, family, relationships, health, and other aspects of life. She's not another personal development guru, but just an average person with great life experiences. She's also a blogger, who loves to share her blogging knowledge and experiences. Network with her on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+..

58 Comments

  1. Sapna

    February 6, 2013 at 9:53 pm

    Hi Harleena Di

    Great post!

    Di, this is my personal experience – Friendship or every relation for that matter is all about give and take. As you have said if you are true to others and love them, they will reciprocate.

    I have few friends since my school days who have been with me through my thick and thin but if I call them on regular basis they will call me back and if I don’t they would also do the same.But all in all a good friendship I have with them, I believe that out of sight is out of mind this also holds true in many cases.A friendship has to be nurtured for sure.

    I have made a point to visit my close friends once in a month for sure and try to be with them in good and bad times and bad times specially.

    Thanks Di for sharing this.

    Sapna

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      Harleena Singh

      February 6, 2013 at 11:51 pm

      Hi Sapna,

      I’m glad you like the post.

      You’re right about the nature of relationships. They do need reciprocation. However, when we talk about “true” relationships, like true love and true friendship, we understand them as unselfish and unconditional. But such relationships are really rare as they are more spiritual in nature.

      Whereas, most of our relationships are materialistic or realistic you may say, and it seems difficult to maintain them without any give or take, as you say.

      It’s good that your friends really stood by you in the old days. But yes, you need to give some consideration to the fact that life becomes too busy and our schedule becomes too hectic as we grow. Our work and home demand so much out of us that we’re not able to spare time for social activities like touching upon some old friends. But it’s good of you to initiate and make the calls.

      I agree that a friendship has to be nurtured. Though, a true friendship stands beyond time and distance. I appreciate your intent and efforts to maintain the relationship with your friends – someone has to do it, and by doing so you show that you’ve a heart of gold.

      Thanks for sharing your personal experiences and thoughts about friendship. :)

  2. Mosam Gor

    February 6, 2013 at 10:13 pm

    Hi Harleena Ma’am,

    Wow! Great Article about Best Friends! Everyone Need Best Friend!I am Not Sure about True love :P Because i am totally addicted to Computer and gadgets. i am Techno Freaks.. By the way! Thanks for this Great Tips :)

    Mosam

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      Harleena Singh

      February 6, 2013 at 11:56 pm

      Hi Mosam,

      Glad you like the post. I can hardly think of living without friends, nor do anybody else can. True friends are really gifts that some people have, but I understand that your priorities are different at present.

      It’s good that you’ve a passion and you follow it wholeheartedly. Wish you all the best and thanks for stopping by and commenting. :)

  3. Mayura

    February 6, 2013 at 11:11 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    You are very good with dates and knows what’s all months about :)

    I like how you incorporate love with the topic of true friends and it’s true that both are very similar but still they are identical.

    I think to understand a person we need some time ’cause people can act like they care especially online and reveal true identity over time :) But the real truth is if you are good enough and caring, the friends who stick with you will be quite similar :) I’ve experienced it myself and it has no age limits or so though. However it may not apply for everyone.

    There is always one to initiate and that’s a good point under loving friends dear :) I think usually we feel whether the person is of our kind or not, right? Gladly I’m fortunate enough to have wonderful friends around and I’ve been repeating that fact most of the time ’cause that’s amazing to have such a nice friends around :) I’m just happy of my true friends.

    It may start as acquaintances but with the time and as actions speak, we can figure out who is true friends there. I don’t think we need to wait for ‘em to show true love for us as I’ve implied earlier, we may just feel it inside :)

    I think helping and offering best for others comes along naturally there Harleena :)

    I can recall some people who were nice around me and got my help when they are in trouble and said I’m the best friend over and over :) But in the end they don’t stick around and comes back when they get into hot water again. Anyway I didn’t ignore ‘em as I don’t feel doing so and help as I can but it’s not like I’ve did it in first time. Such people will always remind us when they are in trouble. Now they are just acquaintances but giving for anyone never make us poor, no dear? :)

    But I really believe we need to give more for people who deserve more before start to worry about others Harleena. Not being selfish there, but if we don’t give that much for people who deserve we feel guilty when they are not around, no? :) Especially true friends on top with the family.

    I feel almost like a family when true friends around Harleena :) I’ve made great friends online though never met in person. Yet it never bothers our bonds.

    I’m always grateful for ‘em including you for taking care of me and for moving forward with join hands :)

    Happy Friendship Month too Harleena :)

    Cheers…

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      Harleena Singh

      February 7, 2013 at 11:23 am

      Thanks Mayura, I came to know through one of my searches on Google that this is the International Friendship month. :)

      Love and friendship are truly related topics. In fact, any relationship is love based – without love you cannot have a positive relationship. The more and stronger the love, better is the relationship.

      You’re right, it takes time to understand people; sometimes takes even ages, and at times you do not totally understand a person even after living with them for decades!

      Most online friendships are totally based on mutual reciprocation. If you’re online for business, you obviously do not have the time and interest for developing relationships, and that’s understood. Nevertheless, there are people, and you’re an example, who brings personal, loving, and unselfish touches to the communications and relationship. And that’s what friends are – they’re more interested in you as a person than what you possess or offer.

      I’ve experiences similar to you – and I’m lucky to be surrounded by online friends like you and many other members of my blog community – they return more good than I offer. :)

      People like you because you’re frank, honest, helping, approachable, and have good intentions among many other qualities. You’ve a heart of gold (HOG) so I’d call you a HOGman! Nice term isn’t it! :)

      Yes, every friendship starts with being an acquaintance – some remain there while some get promoted to the next level. It all depends on our intentions and efforts.

      People may use you, but that should not stop you from being and doing good. I read this wonderful quote by Mother Teressa. And you’re implementing it right. It’s no harm helping people, but yes one has to remain on guard. You know, how people are sometimes. If you give your helping finger, they’ll grab your whole hand!

      I agree that we need to start with people who we know deserve more and truly. We should always express our gratitude in time so we do not feel guilty later.

      I wish you make more friends who’re true to you, and thank you for being my friend. Have a great friendship month!

      Thank you for expressing your thoughts and feeling like a true friend and contribute to the post. :)

  4. Ilka Flood

    February 7, 2013 at 12:14 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Loved your post! “To get a friend you have to BE a friend first.” It takes work and you really have to go out of your way and go the ‘extra mile’ at times. But in the end it’s so well worth it. Although I’ve left Germany 30 years ago, my close friends from back then have remained my close friends through all those years. I know I can count on them and they would have my back whenever needed and vise versa.

    At the same token, there are some people in my life who call themselves my ‘friend’ but I know they aren’t really. Still, if they ever needed my help I would be there.

    Thanks so much for another great post!

    Ilka

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      Harleena Singh

      February 7, 2013 at 11:37 am

      Hi Ilka,

      Thanks for loving the post. :)

      You’re right – if we’ve the intention of being true friends, and we implement it in the right ways, then only we may have a true friend in life. It does take efforts to be true friends but people who’re sincere do find the journey interesting, satisfying, happy, and easy.

      It’s good and great that you’ve maintained your relations for so long being so far – it ain’t an easy thing to do. That’s something surely to learn from you!

      Thanks for being true friends and thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings on friendship. :)

  5. Shorya Bist

    February 7, 2013 at 1:12 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Thanks for sharing this great post.Well explained.
    From last 5 years i have understood the real importance of real friends.when i entered college life i understood that you will find many who claim to be friends but real friends are few and you know their importance.
    I personally believe that there is no way to get true friends in life, one will get automatically he/she dont need to search for the true friends.The person will automaticaly have a bonding that is somehting special. He/she will realize that who are real friends.
    I agree with you on points you have maintioned to maintain friendship, that is very very important.

    Thank You
    Shorya Bist

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      Harleena Singh

      February 7, 2013 at 11:44 am

      Hi Shorya,

      I’m glad you like the post.

      True, real friends are few. Well, I think you do need to do something to have true friends in life, and that is to be true and loving to your friends. You can’t be selfish and expect your friend to be true to you. But I agree that you don’t have to search for true friends – soulmates come in your life at the right time and when you’re ready to receive them. So, all we need to do is prepare ourselves.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. :)

  6. Carolyn

    February 7, 2013 at 2:05 am

    Hi Harleena, You’re so right and touching on a very important topic. I teach my children how important it is to have true friends and to recognize who your true friends are.

    I love your point about being a good friend to yourself. I think giving gifts to yourself is very important! Reward yourself, pamper yourself and you’ll enjoy life more.

    Thanks so much for this wonderful article, Harleena!

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      Harleena Singh

      February 7, 2013 at 11:53 am

      Hi Carolyn,

      I agree that it is so important for children to know how to recognize true friends. In fact, I keep educating my daughter about how friends are so important in life, and you should maintain your relations with your good friends who might ripe with time and become your treasured true friends.

      You’ve mentioned one of the best ways to feel good about yourself – rewarding yourself with gifts! Be your own friend and gift yourself – the best way to pamper yourself :) And, I must say you’ve mentioned some really nice gifts in your post that rightly serve the purpose.

      Thanks so much for stopping by and contributing to the post. :)

  7. Corina Ramos

    February 7, 2013 at 7:29 am

    Your posts always makes me feel warm and fuzzy :) \”true friendship can turn into true love, but true love is always true friendship\” I love how you said this! I’m so lucky to be able to call lots of people friends and that my husband is one of them. We started out as friends and it grew into a friendship and we’ve been together for 20 years now :) I think a friend should be honest. There are some people who will agree with everything their friend says just because they don’t want to hurt that person’s feelings or hurt the friendship. But there are times when only a friend can tell another the truth as long as they’re tactful about it.For instance, if I’m having a disagreement with my spouse and I go tell my friend about it and she knows I’m wrong, I would want her to tell me I’m wrong and why and not agree with me because that will only add fuel to the fire. Beautiful post Harleena and happy Friendship month to you too :)

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      Harleena Singh

      February 7, 2013 at 12:03 pm

      Hi Corina,

      I’m glad my posts make you feel good.

      I always tell people that if your spouse is your friend, you’ll overcome all obstacles and have an easy life. Moreover, if your husband is your true friend, then you’ve the true love in your life that’ll make you happy and complete. I’m glad you’ve such a friend in life. :)

      I agree with what you’ve written about friends and friendship. That’s why a true friend is your mirror – it can’t lie. :)

      Thank you for stopping by and sharing your wonderful thoughts and have a happy friendship month yourself. :)

  8. Manickam Vijayabanu

    February 7, 2013 at 9:50 am

    Harleena,

    Again, Wonderful post. Friends…are the real universe. No doubt about it. I believe you have pointed all valid 6 and it covers. Help and becoming True from your heart..which makes the real friendship. A true friendship which never expect anything.

    A true friend can understand your feelings, even if you are not in adequate contact.When it comes about relationship, a true friendship stands on top equal to our parents.

    Thanks for sharing the wonderful post.

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      Harleena Singh

      February 7, 2013 at 12:10 pm

      Hi Manickam,

      I’m happy that you find the post wonderful.

      You’re right about everything you mentioned about true friends and true friendship. It’s a highest, closest, and most personal relationship next to the family.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. :)

  9. b k chowla

    February 7, 2013 at 10:44 am

    It is a fact of life. Every relation is priceless. Every relation eventually is matter of mutual respect and of course…give and take.

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      Harleena Singh

      February 7, 2013 at 12:40 pm

      Hi BK,

      I agree – every relation matters and it is based on mutual respect. While most have a price to it, some are priceless.

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

  10. Rafi

    February 7, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    I read the post and have a couple of questions on this?

    1.) What about honesty in a true friendship and
    2.) How many true friends can you have in your life because we have only so much time..

    Sorry for not being elaborate, which I am learning from you and have a long way to go..Also whats your thoughts on saying what you have to say in a few words than elaborating it?

    Regards,
    Rafi

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      Harleena Singh

      February 11, 2013 at 4:18 pm

      Hi Rafi,

      Thanks for reading the post and for asking questions.

      1) As I wrote in the post, as a true friend you should remain truthful, forgiving, and always stay honest and loyal. Honesty is a very important virtue of true friendship.

      2) There’s no limit to how many true friends you can have – it depends on how you are, how was your upbringing, how soon you learned the art of making friends and realized the value of true friends, your ability to recognize true friends and commitment to maintain such relationships, and as you mentioned – how much time you have, besides other factors. Above all it also depends on how pure and loving you’re at heart.

      Twitter was invented to say what you have to say in the minimum number of words. But if you want to explain some concepts with an in-depth understanding taking the audience to be naive or at the base level, you need to explain each term and every point so the reader understands completely and has no doubts in mind, and gets benefited.

      But to those who already know, you can tell them in as few words like “just be” and they’ll understand that lot can be written on that in epic proportions to explain that.

      I hope I’ve satisfactorily answered your questions. I’m happy that you’d questions, which shows your earnestness and interest in the topic and the post. Thank you for that. :)

  11. charmie

    February 7, 2013 at 4:41 pm

    Hello ma’am,

    Indeed a beautiful post in this beautiful month of winter. I was able to connect these things easily because friends are an essential part of life who give those golden moments which we cherish throughout our lives. Cannot imagine life to exist without them. They are like “OXYGEN” for happiness and a boon to your lives. :)

    Keep writing beauties like this.

    Merry February :)

    Charmie

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      Harleena Singh

      February 11, 2013 at 4:28 pm

      Hi Charmie,

      I’m glad you like the post. It’s good to know that you realize the value of friends and friendship in life.

      Wish you too, a loving and friendly February.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views. :)

  12. Aditya

    February 7, 2013 at 6:23 pm

    Awesome post! True friends too can be in true love. Me and my best friends have very different likings and tastes but that is where we have to be unconditional right?

    I’ve had some of my best life experiences with him and the best part is we let ourselves be ourselves, we don’t try to change each other, appreciate for whatever we are and complement each other pretty well.

    After a few life experiences, I’ve clearly learned to differentiate between true friends and acquaintances and I’m glad you’ve focused on that topic, it needed some highlighting.

    Wonderful post, tweeted!

    Aditya

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      Harleena Singh

      February 11, 2013 at 4:36 pm

      Hi Aditya,

      I’m so happy you like the post. I believe love is the essence and ingredient of all relationships in varying proportions. True friendship has true love all over it, which makes you go unconditional and unperturbed by the petty difference between you and your best friend.

      You give a beautiful account of the true friendship that you’ve. I’m glad to know that you know the value of true friends, can recognize, and differentiate them from other forms of friendships.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your beautiful thoughts. :)

  13. Evan

    February 7, 2013 at 8:45 pm

    There is a very light edge between True Friends and True Lovers. One step left or right can lead you both in bed for example if we are talking about different sex friendship. But in most cases relations after friendship are self-defeating…

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      Harleena Singh

      February 11, 2013 at 4:44 pm

      Hi Evan,

      You’re very correct when you say that there’s a thin line of discrimination between true friends and true lovers. I agree it is sometimes dangerous and devastating to have relations after friendship – however, few do work too.

      Thank you for stopping by and contributing your views. :)

  14. Debbie

    February 7, 2013 at 9:25 pm

    Great post on true friends Harleena. Rafi ask about about being honest when you are a true friend. Oh, yes this is important. When we really care about someone, we don’t want to take the easy way out. Sometimes it can hurt to have to be honest, but it is better than letting a friend you love make a bad choice.

    I have one friend that i have known for 0ver 20 years. We don’t see each other much, because of distance, but we talk on the phone just about daily. I know she always has my back and she knows I always have hers.

    My husband has a true friend that he has had when he was in the Air Force years ago.

    Real true friend are like a golden egg, if you find one hold them close, because many of us go through life with out knowing that one person. I can say though my husband is also a true friend. He is always there for me even when I am right and he is wrong. LOL Or the other way around.

    Thanks for sharing Harleena,
    Debbie

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      Harleena Singh

      February 11, 2013 at 4:59 pm

      Hi Debbie,

      I’m so glad you like the post. Certainly you cannot be dishonest or cheat with/on your best friend. It is like treachery or stabbing in the back. But I totally agree to your point that you need to be honest enough to let your friend know if he or she needs to correct or take a different path and that his or her choice is not right. A true friend will have the guts to say that on the face.

      Remarkable friendship you’ve with your old friend for so long. It is surely founded on love and understanding – two vital conditions or ingredients for a true friendship.

      How true it is when you say that true friends are like a golden egg – you don’t get many like that, and not everybody has a true friend in life. I sure do tell this to my children.

      A successful marriage requisite the partners to be best friends, and you and your husband fulfill that condition. And, why, I thought that only I was always right! Lol :)

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your rich experience and thoughts. :)

  15. Mary Stephenson

    February 8, 2013 at 3:22 am

    Hi Harleena

    True friends are hard to find and I guess I have really hard time defining friends. I might be friendly with them, but I don’t consider them my friends. Maybe we need a whole selection of friends and somehow out of that find a few that are there through thick and thin. But I also don’t feel I should ask of a friend and end up taking advantage of their kindness.

    My husband is my friend, because I know he is there and will help me in whatever I need.
    I have a friend that I talk to on the phone and though we live really close I had not seen her in over 2 years. But finally went to visit her, it is as if we had never been apart. We have encouraged each other on the phone and hashed out our frustrations of the old work location. But she is a friend I am interested in keeping forever, even though our interests are so different. My youngest brother is my friend and we have this special think that we know we are on the same “road” together. But we haven’t seen each other in years, we talk on the phone all the time and I know if I really need his help he will do whatever it takes. But I would never ask him unless it was absolutely necessary.

    I suppose all that is my definition of true friends. Great post.

    Mary

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      Harleena Singh

      February 11, 2013 at 7:34 pm

      Hi Mary,

      Definitely, true friends are hard to find, and they’re like oasis in a desert. But you don’t have to try hard to find true friends, rather you’ve try being true friends to people, and few of them will reciprocate in the same way. That’s right – the ones who’re with us through the thick and thin are more likely to be true friends.

      You do have great and true friends in your life; your younger brother, your old friend, and your husband – you’re lucky to have him as your best friend as many wish they had husbands who’re also friends.

      You’ve the right definition of true friends, and I’m happy that you’ve a few in your life. Thanks for sharing your life experiences and thoughts about true friends. :)

  16. Adrienne

    February 8, 2013 at 6:53 am

    Great post Harleena and wonderful topic.

    So I’ve shared some of my past experiences with you in earlier comments so I won’t rehash all of that.

    I “use” to have some people who I considered true friends but later realized that we had finally moved in different directions. I have a lot of really good friends and although I really really really would love to say that they love me unconditionally, I know that’s not necessarily the case for a few of them. I would love for that to be but I have a feeling it’s not.

    I have some people in my life who have been here over 40 years and if I needed them they would be here for me. I think they are the ones who would be able to tell you how they look at me. I am a very trustworthy friend and big on communication. I’ve never been friends with the men I’ve been in love with although I have always wanted that to be the case. It just never happened which is why my relationships have never worked.

    I believe that a true friend will always be there for you no matter what but as life will happen, people change over time so that’s where my friendships have gone.

    Not quite sure if that was exactly the type of comment I should have shared but those are my thoughts on this subject from my own experience. Great conversation starter for sure.

    Thank you for always getting us to really think about what you’re sharing.

    ~Adrienne

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      Harleena Singh

      March 5, 2013 at 8:33 pm

      Hi Adrienne,

      Sorry for the late reply – I guess I missed out on some comments, though am glad I made it still. :)

      You are not alone because most of us must be in the same boat where friends are concerned. Yes, some friends whom we feel are true ones, change direction and that keeps us wondering as to what really happened, or why did they change all of a sudden, or did we do something wrong to make them change this way – all kind of thoughts. It does become tough sometimes to make out the real friends from the many we all have, and that’s actually the most tricky part too.

      40 years! Gosh – that surely IS a long time, and undoubtedly they must be knowing you inside out! I agree, you ARE trustworthy, and we all can make that out from the trust people have on you, especially when you share something you have tried on your blog. It’s almost like we can all follow you with closed eyes, because we trust you. Oh yes…you are known for your wonderful reach and the way you connect with people, which are communication skills worth learning for all of us. I guess being friends with men and then falling in love might’ve worked better for you, instead of the other way round, which would have make the relationship really work. But yes, some things are destined, though we can never say what the future holds in store – isn’t it? (hint-hint!)

      I agree, true friends never change, nor do they leave, and such friends are actually hard to find nowadays. I feel everyone around us is here for some purpose – no one’s really here fully or only for you – nor all that true that you can really trust and know for sure that he or she is worth to be a true friend. Yet, some people do make the best of friends online or offline, and it works for them too. So, it all really depends from person to person really and what defines their level of friendship.

      Your comments are perfect, so no worries on that one, and I do look forward to hearing from you always. :)

      Thanks for stopping by, and sharing your views on this one. Have a wonderful week ahead. :)

  17. Hiten

    February 8, 2013 at 9:30 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    Wonderful post!

    First of all thank you for being such a wonderful friend! :-) On a similar token, I’m also here for you, as I’m sure all the people who have left comments above are.

    On the story about friendship, it reminded me of what the sister of one of my best friend’s said to him. His sister must have seen me one day and then told her brother she couldn’t believe how the two of us were friends. We both dress very differently and she couldn’t believe we would get on. My friend told his sister that although we both look very different, at the base level we were both the same. What was different was the outward manifestation of the same base.

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      Harleena Singh

      March 5, 2013 at 9:51 pm

      Hi Hiten,

      Glad you liked the post, though am sorry for replying a little late – seems like I missed out on this one. :)

      Ah…thank YOU for being a good friend too, someone who one can count on anytime :)

      I liked your last line – outward manifestation of the same base – that’s what true friends are made of I guess. Even though you and your friend dress differently, or might have a lot uncommon with each other, that doesn’t stop you from being friends. I’ve seen so many people who have absolutely nothing in common, yet they make the best of friends, so it actually depends how each one of us defines friendship – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by, and I value our friendship too. :)

  18. Jodi Heal Now and Forever

    February 8, 2013 at 10:25 pm

    I love the “be a friend to yourself.” I think this is so important. It can help us process our feelings and validate ourselves and this can calm any anger or worry and I think our realtionships would be so much better for it!

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      Harleena Singh

      March 5, 2013 at 9:54 pm

      Hi Jodi,

      Ah..glad you liked that point, which I think is the most important because when you are friend’s with yourself, can you be friend’s with another. Yes indeed, this is a major point that would help build the relationship of friendship.

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

  19. Alex

    February 9, 2013 at 12:44 am

    Hello Harleena,

    My thought is that a true friend is someone, who you feel comfortable with. That one, in whose presence you can act authentically. If you need to wear a mask or play some role around someone, then my opinion is that that person is not your true friend.

    People often try very hard to find their true friends, searching high and low. But the high chance is that your soulmate can be so close to you that you even never notice him/her. This person has become a part of your life already, so you perceive this fact as something permanent. But if this person leaves you, you’ll definitely notice it at that very moment.

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      Harleena Singh

      March 5, 2013 at 10:02 pm

      Welcome to the blog Alex!

      Sorry for replying a little late, though am glad I made it. :)

      You are so right there, a true friend is indeed who you are comfortable to share everything with, without really keeping anything within you. If you need to pretend or try being someone you are not in that person’s presence, it simply means you are putting on an act, which doesn’t happen with true friends, who should be just themselves like us.

      It’s really tough to find loving and true friends in life, and it’s very rare that you find one in your soulmate too, and if you do – you are surely lucky and blessed I feel. Oftentimes, we look all over for our true friends, but just as you mentioned, fail to find the best friend in our partner or soulmate, who is always been right beside us. I guess you take them for granted or feel that they will always be there, so tend to ignore them. Yes indeed, once they leave you or if they are absent from your life, that’s the real time you realize their value.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with all of us. :)

  20. Lisa

    February 10, 2013 at 2:07 am

    I would agree you have to be a friend to yourself – just like to love yourself before you love someone.

    I’ve been blessed with really good friends for 30+ years. We are a group of 4 and still get together regularly. We don’t talk as often via phone as our lives have gotten busier but the times we go for dinner are fabulous and we started a beach day a few years back every summer.

    My eldest and dearest friend I haven’t heard from in 2 years and feel sad about it but I sent a Christmas card and gift and never heard back from her.
    I guess some friendships move on.

    I cannot imagine life without good friends :)

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      Harleena Singh

      March 5, 2013 at 10:25 pm

      Hi Lisa,

      Yes indeed, being friends with yourself is the first step to being friends with others. Nice to know about your friends, and being with each other for that long is wonderful indeed. You too, like Adrienne, have been friends with them for so many years and am sure your friendship would only be growing stronger by the day. :)

      I can understand that things can never be the same once you get married and busy in your own lives, but I don’t think that it would effect your friendship because friends understand – isn’t it? I’m glad you manage to take out time for dinners or even keeping a day off, like you said, for the beach or just spending it with each other is a great way to connect.

      Yes, some friendships move on, or perhaps your eldest friend might have changed her address and you don’t about it, there can be many reasons, though it does sadden us a bit for sure. Nevertheless, we rejoice and value the friends we have in our lives :)

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

  21. Samuel Jeffery

    February 11, 2013 at 1:03 pm

    I’m really impressed with the advice given in this post. I’ve personally struggled with maintaining friendships given my nomadic ways. I’ve let a lot of friendships slide over the years and at times this has made me feel as though I’m leading a hollow life. I’m more determined than ever to prevent this from happening again in the future.

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      Harleena Singh

      March 5, 2013 at 10:57 pm

      Welcome to the blog Samuel!

      Glad you liked the advice given. :)

      Ah…I can well understand that it’s tough to maintain friendships, especially when you are always travelling, though am sure it must be a lot of fun and you must be always making new friends wherever you go – isn’t it?

      I guess when you stay in one place for long or have someone who shares your passion for travelling, or perhaps your life partner if you have one, it might result in having loving and true friends in life.

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

  22. Chery Schmidt

    February 12, 2013 at 4:19 am

    Hi Harleena,

    You have such a great way with words the power “True Friends in Life” What A Great Post! What would we do without them? I met a few friends for life over 25 years ago when I moved to Galveston, after 3 years I had to move back home to Wisconsin I could not be that far away from my family. Well to make a long story short we have never been out of touch with each other, we built this bond up between us one that cannot be broken.. I was invited here by your friend Donna and I can certainly see why she has stated this fact to us. I love your blog and this post Keep up the great work Harleena! Chery :)

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      Harleena Singh

      March 6, 2013 at 12:47 am

      Welcome to the blog Chery!

      Glad you liked the words, and thanks for the words of appreciation as well. :)

      I agree, without friends, I too really wonder where we would be. Nice to hear about your friends, and just like a few others have mentioned, you too have had your friends for that long, which is commendable indeed. Maintaining and nurturing a friendship this long is what really matters in having true friends in life – isn’t it?

      I guess we need to thank Donna for connecting us too, and this is the best part of having friends online because we keep meeting new people and make them our friends. :)

      Thanks for stopping by, and sorry for replying a little late. :)

  23. Aman Bansal

    February 27, 2013 at 7:43 pm

    Nice co-relation and difference you have made between true friend and lover.But whatever the conditions friendship is best. :-)

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      Harleena Singh

      February 28, 2013 at 1:59 am

      Welcome to the blog Aman!

      Glad you liked the post and could relate to it. Yes indeed, friendship is the best, provided it’s true friendship from both sides – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

  24. HMiMouCh

    February 28, 2013 at 8:36 am

    Thanks Harleena for sharing this. By the way your blog is amazing and I have subscribed to your blog to get all news into my inbox :)

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      Harleena Singh

      February 28, 2013 at 11:00 am

      Welcome to the blog HMiMouCh!

      Glad you liked the post, and thanks for subscribing to the blog too. :)

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

  25. Srimanta

    February 28, 2013 at 2:57 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    Totally agree with your point of view. A deep friendship is like a rainbow when the perfect amounts of happiness and tears are mixed, the result is a colorful bridge between two hearts. Also the next point should be ‘understanding’ that increase the faith on each others.

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      Harleena Singh

      February 28, 2013 at 9:36 pm

      Nice to see you again Srimanta!

      Yes indeed, true friends in life are hard to find, so we need to value the ones we have. It sure is a mixture of happy and sad moments, but that’s why we all need friends for – isn’t it? Without complete understanding of one another, how can two people be real friends?

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

  26. Shailesh Jangra

    March 6, 2013 at 3:25 pm

    Good tips but all these depends on nature and it always differ from person to person. No one can catch the lie. It’s good to be true but it’s not good to be dependent. :)

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      Harleena Singh

      March 6, 2013 at 4:02 pm

      Welcome to the blog Shaliesh!

      Glad you liked these steps, and yes it all depends on the nature of people and each one of them is different in their own ways of course. Loving and true friends are hard to find in life, and while I agree it’s not good to be dependent on them, sometimes we can’t help ourselves, especially if they are our soulmates or partners – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

  27. Ferb

    March 10, 2013 at 12:38 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    True friends and true love are really confusing. When I’m being nice to somebody, they’re like…you’re gay? then I’m like… they probably don’t know how to really be a nice friend like so many great tips you mentioned. But on the other hand, I’m completely stupid in love, I messed them up sometimes between true friends and true love. I really gotta fix this up properly now.

    Thank you for Great Tips – Ferb

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      Harleena Singh

      March 11, 2013 at 1:26 am

      Hi Ferb,

      Ah…I can understand that part, and some people are like that because they don’t understand the real meaning of being a true friend I guess. When your friendship turns into love, or if you are in love and it’s for the first time, it’s quite normal to have a few hit and trials as one tends to get confused between the two and can’t make out if it’s true love or true friendship, where this post might help you the next time. :)

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

  28. Sebastian Aiden Daniels

    May 28, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    I am slowly developing true friends in my life as I become more okay with myself. I love my friends who are close to me and who care about me. I frequently tell them I love them. It is nice to know that they are there for me and don’t judge me. It is nice to know. Those friendships also have kept me alive when I have had my bouts of very deep depressions. This was a beautiful post. Thank you for it.

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      Harleena Singh

      August 4, 2013 at 11:57 pm

      Hi Sebastian,

      Sorry for this late reply, I guess I missed this one, though I’m glad I’m here now :)

      Nice to know that you’re slowly making true friends, and perhaps some of them might be online friends too. I agree with you there – just knowing your friends love you and are there for you makes a huge difference. They are another reason we feel inspired and motivated to carry on in our lives.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views :)

  29. Ahsan

    August 4, 2013 at 7:48 pm

    Hello Harleena,

    There is a story of a bear & 2 friends. When a bear chase them, a friend jumped to a tree but other friend has no option. So he just fell down like a dead person. Th bear came near to him then left. After sometime, the other friend asked him what did the bear say? The friend replied never trust a friend who doesn’t help in danger.

    The friend proves his character when other friend is in danger. Thats the real character of a friendship.

    Here is my message for all my friends:

    Friends r like mornings,
    u may share with them
    only a few hours of d day.
    But u know that they will
    always b there tomorrow,
    the next day and the day after,

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      Harleena Singh

      August 5, 2013 at 12:41 am

      Hi Ahsan,

      Lovely story with a nice lesson, and yes – that’s when you really make out who your real friends are. It’s during the tough and hard phases of life that the real friendships show up and that’s when you can make out who your true friends are. :)

      Ah…that’s a double bonus – with a poem also….that’s another nice one.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing this wonderful story and poem with us. Happy Friendship Day :)

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