Family stress knows your where about and tends to show up exactly where you live: at home! Nowadays when both partners are totally involved in their careers, and children remain completely engrossed in various extra-curricular activities, the stress in the family easily takes its roots, making the family unit very susceptible to a break down.
The result of such a family lifestyle is a number of separate individuals living under the same roof, who lead their own isolated lives, face their own problems, and are left to solve them on their own.
The whole family unit is affected when even one person is stressed. The solution lies in working through the problems as a team called the family, which needs to be strong and its members should know how to cope with family stress.
A number of things can be done to cope with family stresses, of which some are mentioned below:
Spending time with your family is the foremost thing that will reduce family stress, and the best way to do that is by sharing a meal at the dinner table. Enjoying a simple meal with your family is a great way to connect with everyone, and share things each one of you did during the day. Do not eat dinner in front of the TV; instead sit in the dining room. Including kids to work in the household chores like raking the yard, doing the dishes, biking and playing games together, or going out for family vacations and movies can lessen family stress.
- Face the truth that home is not always a peaceful place to rest nor is it free from any kind of stress. Even though you may love your family and like being with them, home can become a very stressful place as there are many people living there, who have many expectations from you that you cannot always fulfill. Learn to take the family disappointments in your stride and not let it be the origin of stress. So even if you do try fulfilling everyone’s demands or desires, accept the fact that you are not perfect, and are simply human.
- Having fewer expectations of your family members will help you cope with family stress. Do not expect your spouse to listen to everything you say nor your kids to be A-grade students, and don’t expect your house to be immaculate always. It does not happen always and imperfections are part of life, so accept and learn how to deal with them. Accept each one in your family the way they are, and there will be less stress in the family with everyone happier at home.
- Do not avoid family discussions, instead communicate and work towards finding a solution to the problem. Whether the problem is major or minor, if it causes a family member any kind of tension, it causes family stress. So, be a good listener, and let the family member talk about it and involve the family in solving the problem in hand. Encourage open communications through word and actions.
- Do not force yourself to cope with stress, let it happen naturally. You may want everything to happen at once, like connect with your spouse and kids but that is not possible always. Children change and you need to accept that, especially teenage kids as they tend to become elusive and moody. Once you accept them as they are, and deal with the fact that they may not open up to you all at once, you will be able to cope with a great deal of family stress.
Coping with family stress maybe difficult, but it is not impossible. By admitting your own limitations and those of your family, and realizing that your family includes various individuals who have their own lives, concerns, way of seeing things, you can understand their point of view and accept family stress as a part of life.
You may also like to read my article on stress in the family, and do share your views on how do you cope with family stress.
Harleena –
I love digging through your posts. This one about family stress is a common thing that we all face. Your advice is spot on.
I especially like facing the truth and talking about it. So many times we want to smooth it over and move on. That usually means that it will just come back up during the next stressful situation we face.
I have 2 younger sisters and with our mom gone, my role is a combination of sister and mom. We work hard to help each other as parents, grandparents and wives. Sometimes it means having a lunch and telling it like it is. Lots of love always helps.
Thanks again for speaking so openly about tough family matters. You are such a caring person!
Karen
Now when I read your blogs; I see the strong sense of family that you constantly have as the deciding factor. That is truly something we have in common. Maybe it is the Indian thing eh? My father always says this, family is what stays with you during tough times. This post is closely related to the stress in family post but is valuable in itself too.
I like how truthful you are about home not always being the peaceful place at the end of the day. This might especially be true for joint families where individual space and privacy has to be a little compromised with. But then every family structure comes with its sets of good and bad; we just need to focus on what is best for us as a family and as an individual. That is the key to survival in the first place.
I always have a warm feeling after reading your posts; thanks so much!
Family always comes first for me Hajra!
I guess sometimes I feel I am too family oriented, something that separates me from the masses, who are so materialistic and heavily into business, or making money or earning fame for themselves.
But I don’t think I would ever want it that ways, and am happy the way I am being more family oriented- though managing to create a balance along side working online as well. And in my heart I know I have done my best, and will continue doing so till my end 🙂
Perhaps it’s our common values that our parents have taught us that make us think more about our families. Yes, this post tells you how you can deal and cope with family stress as a whole unit together.
You are absolutely right about each family being different and unique in it’s own ways. Living in joint families isn’t easy at all, especially when you need to adjust and accept so many people and take care of their likes or dislikes. But that is what also makes you stronger and wiser to deal with and handle all kind of people later in life- isn’t it?
Thanks so much for appreciating the posts, it is indeed a pleasure to have you over and share the warmth with you. 🙂
I love how clear you are about what you are looking for and what you want. Families do come first and yes, it is a personal choice we all are making for ourselves. Which end of the continuum do we want to be? We find happiness with family and being around with them and our roots lie in strong cultural values; so there is where we find peace! 🙂
I wouldn’t have it any other way! 🙂
Oh yes- absolutely clear where family is concerned! They have and will always be first- or perhaps must be the case with most working moms- as I just speak about myself here.
I wouldn’t have it any other way either. 🙂
Thanks for adding to the conversation. 🙂
Stress! Something that eczema families have tons of! An example is lack of sleep – it’s 4am now and I’m awake because my baby was scratching her head at 2am and by 2.30am my hubby took over trying to soothe her back to sleep. Out of fatigue, both asleep now and I’m online!
Glad you could resonate with the post Mei!
Yes indeed, stress is always a part of our lives and something that each family undergoes, just as yours as well. Feel sorry for all of you having to undergo stressful situations like you mentioned, though am sure there would be cures for eczema that you must be undertaking.
Thanks for sharing 🙂
Hi!
When I was have family stress, I joke around with my family. Sometimes, I can see that the frustration and stress happens to me, that is the time when I need a little laughter. I also love to eat when I am stressed. Maybe you are right, facing the truth can help me relieve it. I really love your blog; I learn so many new things here.
Welcome to the blog Tracy!
Joking around and having fun with your family works wonders where coping with stress is concerned, and its good you are able to lighten the atmosphere by doing so. However, overeating or eating more than required while you are stressed can harm your health, thus you need to be careful and try to divert your attention to other things.
Thanks for liking the blog and for stopping-by. 🙂
Just enjoy the time that you spend with your family, and if possible always have time with them for it makes your bond more remarkable and it gets you closer, specially if the kids are getting old and the time has rapidly change wherein you see that your children must have guidance. It’s probably the most ideal time for you to guide them and be with them.
Welcome to the blog Yena!
Yes indeed, we need to spend maximum time with our families as that also is a great way to cope with stress. The family bond will only get better and stronger when we are able to spend quality family time with them, and give them much of ourselves.
Thanks for stopping-by. 🙂
I loved your blog….learnt a lot too, from now on I shall make sure we sit down to eat together more often and ban the TV during mealtimes.
Glad you liked the blog and could relate to the post.
I guess if you really do want a good stress free family life – then spending time with your family, sharing meals, and just being together is the answer. It does remove stress and tensions as well.
Thanks for commenting 🙂