Poor Communication Leads To Relationship Problems

By with 20 comments

A couple communicating with each other to avoid problems in relationship

The problem with communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished.”George Bernard Shaw

Communication skills are vital for a healthy relationship, especially when one realizes that poor communication leads to relationship problems. The closer we are to someone, the more easily we are hurt and tend to hurt the other also. Remember to be kind in your words, as it is not what we say, but rather the way we say it, that often hurts another people.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”- Mother Teresa

Most couples feel that their partners should know what they are thinking, thus refrain from communicating their wants and thoughts to them. This kind of poor communication leads to relationship problems.

3 Ways to Avoid Poor Communication

Mentioned below are a few ways to avoid poor communication that can lead to relationship problems.

1.Listen to Your Partner

Listening to your partner is the most effective way to prevent any kind of relationship problems. By listening I mean to listen to your partner with true dedication, paying undivided attention to the words that are being said by your partner, taking care of the expressions or tones that go along with the words.

Couples tend to interrupt their partners and don’t fully understand or listen to what their partner is saying, instead prefer putting their view point first. Such kind of one sided poor communication leads to problems in relationships, as you are not making an attempt to share your partners’ feelings, ideas, wants, and emotions.

2.Introspect Yourself

We tend to point fingers to our partners first when things are not smooth in a relationship, and point out their flaws instead of introspecting ourselves and our shortcomings.  It becomes harder for us to accept criticism and our faults, because no one wants or feels they are wrong, and this is where you need to face the truth.

Communication is about helping each other by seeing things from each other’s view point, and avoid misunderstanding that lead to uncalled for arguments.

3.Take Out Time

Take out sometime during the day to talk to your spouse or partner, and talk without distractions. Talking and keeping your channels of communication open prevents you from growing apart.

Do not think that if you ignore a problem long enough, it will go away on its own, as it tends to create more gaps between couples. Don’t think of what you are going to reply while your spouse is talking; instead pay full attention to what is being said.

Similar to a plant that needs to be watered daily, a relationship also needs to be worked upon, nurtured, and nourished, or it will wither away and die. You have to accept the bumps along the road, and remember poor communication leads to relationship problems, so keep your channels open and remain honest with your spouse.

When you need to correct someone, be resolved not to do so in a blaming manner. Before criticizing, view the situation from the other person’s point of view. Then be careful to speak calmly and tactfully. Carefully edit what you say before you say it.” – Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
Over to you - 
Do you feel that poor communication results in relationship problems? How do you overcome such communication problems  Share in the comments below.
Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos
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About Harleena Singh

Harleena Singh is a positive thinker and a freelance writer. She loves to write inspiring and thought provoking posts on self-improvement, family, relationships, health, and other aspects of life. She's not another personal development guru, but just an average person with great life experiences. She's also a blogger, who loves to share her blogging knowledge and experiences. Network with her on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+..

20 Comments

  1. Harleena Singh

    April 23, 2011 at 6:13 am

    @Albert Divo Thanks for valuable feedback and it's sad to hear about your divorce.

  2. Albert Divo

    April 23, 2011 at 3:06 am

    My wife and I had a poor communication. We ended up getting divorced. It could have been better if both gave in and listen to each other.

  3. Anonymous

    April 26, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    Without proper communication, there is no relationship that is going to survive. Many couples end up divorcing due to poor communication. Learn how to communicate and your relationship will be safe. reading some magazines can also help. breathe again magazine

  4. Harleena Singh

    April 26, 2011 at 2:02 pm

    @Anonymous That's true. Wish everybody is aware of this simple recipe for a healthy relationship. I hope your magazine helps in this cause. Thanks for contributing.

  5. relationship problems

    August 1, 2011 at 9:53 am

    I strongly believe everything written here. In fact, when couples are no longer communicating that much they tend to have misunderstandings on a lot of things and some lead to separation and divorce.

  6. Anonymous

    August 1, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    I couldn't agree more. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, and the plan is for me to relocate later on. We have been friends much longer than lovers which is what makes this so hard. Basically, when we disagree, I tell him how I feel about things. But then he says it makes him angry. He is not the type to want to discuss matters, preferring to avoid it and hope it goes away. Well, after one of such episodes of avoidance, I decided to put the brakes to any plans to see the parents, which is essentially leads up to engagement in our culture. Boy, did this set things off. He is so hurt by it that he won't talk or return calls and only recently started texting me. I don't regret the action but the delivery of it. I just felt that things couldn't go on like this. Marrying him without him seeing that this is a problem will end in divorce. I want to work things out but only if he is committed to becoming better at communication as well. But he is only texting me, and I have taken a step back to let the chips fall where they may. We will either come out of it a better couple or we will go our separate ways. I ca

  7. Harleena Singh

    August 2, 2011 at 5:34 am

    @relationship problems You got it correct. Thanks for sharing your belief.

  8. Audrey

    November 23, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    I think one of the most common causes of misunderstanding is the unwillingness of any side to listen to others opinion. There are times that a person thinks he/she is right so why would he/she bother to listen to his/her partner. At the end, they’ll find their relationship in trouble. So basically, if a person likes talking, he/she needs to like listening too in order to maintain a harmonious relationship with one another.

    • Harleena Singh
      Twitter:

      November 23, 2011 at 10:53 pm

      That is so true Audrey!

      Listening without talking or interfering in-between is a skill very few can follow, and whether the other person is right or wrong, if you are a good listener half the problems gets solved on their own itself. Yes it does happen that one side may feel they are right and refuse to listen to anyone, which only creates problems. However, if they do communicate well where listening and talking are done both ways, their relationship would only flourish.

      Thanks for stopping-by. :)

      • Audrey

        November 24, 2011 at 6:37 pm

        The power of listening and talking can really help couples build a better relationship with each other. But the sad truth is, these can also destroy everything that may result to break-up too.

        • Harleena Singh
          Twitter:

          November 24, 2011 at 6:40 pm

          If you are able to talk- listen and communicate with each the problems do get solved, and the relationship will only get better Audrey. Of course, if none of the two sides are willing to communicate and have ego problems, then it surely would lead to break-ups.

  9. Hajra
    Twitter:

    March 14, 2012 at 4:17 am

    I love the point of listening to the other person.

    Listening doesn’t just mean having to listen but to connect and understand what they are trying to communicate. Relationships are something we need to work on and once taken too lightly, they can cause trouble. Yes, they should be easy going and fun but the other person involved is also human; how ready are you to take on as they are to give.

    Give each other the space but be there when they need you – physically, emotionally and mentally. Life will be easier when you have someone to shoulder the burdens along with! :)

    • Harleena Singh
      Twitter:

      March 14, 2012 at 6:27 pm

      Glad you could relate to the post Hajra!

      Listening is an art not many can achieve, but if you do- there are hardly any reasons for controversies or conflicts.

      You are absolutely right about listening, which means to connect, understand, and pay your full undivided attention to the speaker in such a way that they feel they are being heard to.

      Relationships always need to be worked on from both the sides, and communicating with one another is a vital part of making a relationship work, besides the other factors. I have often see people having large ego problems, and due to some arguments- not talking to one another, for days at a stretch. This causes more damage to the relationship. Instead, when and if there is a problem, you need to make the time to sit and talk out the problem areas with each other, resolve the issues, and get back together again.

      You do need to give each other space, so be apart, yet a-part of each other- and life turns out beautiful indeed. :)

      Thanks for stopping by- it’s always a pleasure to have you over. :)

      • Hajra
        Twitter:

        March 14, 2012 at 6:39 pm

        Relationships are a challenge but they aren’t tough. You just have to remember to treat the others much more specially than you would treat yourselves!

        Beautiful post indeed! :)

        • Harleena Singh
          Twitter:

          March 14, 2012 at 7:05 pm

          Absolutely right! Relationships can work if you want them to work, and the answer lies in our hands to quite some extent. It’s just the mindset with which we proceed further.

          Glad you liked the post, and thanks for contributing to the conversation. :)

  10. Debbie
    Twitter:

    February 4, 2013 at 7:25 pm

    Good day, Harleena;
    Yes, open and honest communication is definitely the key to any successful relationship. My husband and I have been together since 1971 and married since 1973. We had many ups and down over the years and communication ultimately saved us. You have to talk things out; state clearly what’s bothering you, what you need and want, etc. etc. Compliments are important too. Never take each other for granted! Excellent post; thank you.
    Debbie recently posted..WeWriWa 8 SENTENCE SUNDAY; FEB. 3/13My Profile

    • Harleena Singh
      Twitter:

      February 12, 2013 at 1:58 pm

      Welcome to the blog Debbie!

      Yes indeed, I also strongly believe that simply talking to each other is the biggest solution to all relationship problems. Nice to know that you’ve been married that long, and am sure you believe in communicating with one another, which is what keeps a marriage working – isn’t it?

      Everything is part and parcel I think, your wants, needs, feelings, emotions, likes and dislikes. I guess if you don’t share what you feel with the other person, how will he or she ever know.

      Thanks for stopping by. :)
      Harleena Singh recently posted..How to Solve Love Problems in MarriageMy Profile

  11. Cararta
    Twitter:

    August 5, 2013 at 12:52 am

    Hello Harleena,

    You are right on!

    When my husband of 52 years died, I had someone ask me, “How did you stay married that long?”
    I replied, “We talked to each other.”

    Communication is the key.
    Included in that communication but seldom touched on is Courtesy which to me means having respect for each others ideas and keeping interchanges truthful.

    As for talking to each other, I’ve lately observed families dining out…but not together! Mom and Dad both on their cell phones talking to others and their children (depending on their age) also occupied on their phone texting.

    Total dysfunction in action!
    Cararta recently posted..Security Isn’t Just For ComputersMy Profile

    • Harleena Singh
      Twitter:

      August 5, 2013 at 8:21 am

      Welcome to the blog Cararta!

      Yes – communication IS the key to any relationship, though most people don’t realize this fact and remain involved in their own egos and other problems.

      I agree with you there, being courteous and respectful in any relationship is a must. Yes indeed, families or even couples dine out but are rarely with each other nor do they spend time with each other, which is rather sad. I guess there should be some ruling to leave all gadgets behind when you out as a family, and that includes vacations too.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views :)

  12. Suresh natrajan

    October 8, 2013 at 9:45 pm

    HI Harleena,

    Once again i am at one more post of yours.You have chosen important part of a family life aw well as professional life. Poor communication most of time generate misunderstanding and yes! it is harmful because it leads to some destruction which is unacceptable.

    Regards,

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