Have you ever thought to change your life? Don’t know if you ever did, but sometimes circumstances are such that you change your life, whether you want it or not, like it or not.
Some changes just happen, and you have no control over them. But if given a choice, would you change your life voluntarily?
We have to accept the involuntary changes in life in order to adjust to life and move forward. But then, why can’t we also just accept ourselves as we are? Why is there such a fuss about changing or not changing one’s life?
Some people just do not want to change their life. Their strong arguments are like: “It’s my life, why can’t I live the way I like? Why should I care for others and change my life for them? What’s wrong with me and why should I try to better my life?”
It is not wrong to not change one’s life. But having such a rigid view surely doesn’t help. One should be flexible enough to consider a change in life and not be disturbed about it.
Changing your life does not rob you of your free will and individuality, but rather not changing when required to does restrict your life from progressing.
There is always a resistance to change. But, do we really need to change our life? Will change do us any good? Do we change for ourselves or for others? What stops us from changing our life? These might be some of the questions that pop-up in your mind.
Let’s try and understand more on these very personal, sensitive, and important issues of life.
“You’re always you, and that don’t change, and you’re always changing, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” ~ Neil Gaiman
Why the Need to Change Your Life
To change means to transform, modify, or become different by losing the original nature. It could also mean to become more intense, correct, pure, perfect, or to improve.
Believe it or not, change is the essence of life. Biologists tell us that our body keeps changing every moment. Similarly, geologist report that the world is ever changing, astronomers observe that the whole universe is always changing, and psychologists study that we continuously change as a person with time.
Changing one’s life doesn’t imply to run after money, or material pursuits, or to change your likings and job; instead, it is the change of thinking, beliefs, perceptions, perspective, attitudes, behaviors, and ways of dealing.
Of course, in your pursuit to change your life, you should accept yourself as you are. In fact, that is the first step to bring change.
You’re unique. You are what you are, you cannot ignore this fact. But that does not mean that you’ll and you should always remain as what you are now.
It is not necessary and compulsory for people to change their lives. You change only when and if you feel like it is needed. You yourself are the best judge, but sometimes it is good if you pay heed to the advice others give you.
If you’re experiencing repeated failures in life, wish to solve problems of your life, or you desire more out of your life, then it is okay to think of changing your life.
Else, if you feel you are not able to achieve your purpose of life, complete the goals, and accomplish the dreams, then you may try to adopt different ways of living.
You need to change your life to grow, to better your life skills and increase the probability of leading a successful life – the life of your dreams.
Just as the flowing water never gets stagnant or bad, similarly, I believe a life that keeps changing brings happiness, freshness, and makes it more interesting.
“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” ~ Albert Einstein
I’m Content – Why Should I Change My Life
This is the most common question that might arise in your mind too – why change your life when you’re happy with it?
Agreed. If the aim of your life is to be happy and you are already happy, then there’s no need to change. But this argument doesn’t hold good always.
Actually, it depends on the individuals’ personal definition and views about the ideal state of happiness, what bring happiness or contentment, the nature of success, the aim or purpose of life, and life itself.
Every one of us would have differing personal views about being happy, as we come from different cultural and social backgrounds.
What brings happiness in life to one might not do so to the other. What may seem as contentment to me could be discontentment to someone else.
As we see, there’s no absolute happiness or a common concept of happiness for all to seek. If the meaning of happiness keeps changing, so do the reasons to change or not change our life.
I’m taking a wild and extreme example of the misunderstanding of the idea of being content. A terrorist feels happy by killing people believing that the act fulfills his purpose. He neither feels any remorse nor the need to change his life as he is content.
A mild example would be of a parent who says he or she is content but does not fulfill his or her obligations and liabilities to properly raise a child. Can you ignore such duties and responsibilities and still call yourself as content?
Just because you’re happy with or beget pleasure with just one aspect of life doesn’t make you content enough to not need to change your life?
Therefore, I feel the meaning and use of “being content” should be redefined. I think certain moral and ethical humanity-based standards should also be fulfilled along with the feeling of being happy, to the meaning of being content.
Furthermore, life involving wrongdoings, evil intentions, irresponsible habits, unlawful adventures, and undutiful obligations cannot be source of contentment. Such a life does not bring true happiness.
Only a person taking care of all these aspects could really be called as following humanity and be the contender to being happy and content.
So, if you’re happy with your life and are also a wonderful human being, then you may really call yourself as content and can forget about changing your life.
Spiritual seekers believe we all should work to achieve the true or absolute state of being happy – the inner happiness or bliss, and such accomplishment would mean the real contentment.
For them, change of life is more like revealing our true nature and becoming or realizing who we really are, instead of changing over to another belief and habit system.
“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
A Change in Life Helps You Evolve
Our perceptions of failures, acceptance of our shortcomings, and the need to change our life are based on our own beliefs. As we change them, we change our way of life, and inch towards success.
People have always made conscious efforts to change life since time memorable to get better, to improve, and to evolve as human beings.
Had our ancestors not tried to change their life, we wouldn’t be enjoying the modernity and quality of life we live today.
Speaking of myself, I know I cannot be perfect, but I do believe in making efforts to improve myself to the best of my potential and abilities.
I strongly think I should change my life, not only for myself, but even for my kids and family. This helps us all to be happy, evolve ourselves and humanity as a whole.
“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.” ~ Madonna
What is Changing Life Not About
The need to change your life does not mean that you are not living your life correctly or properly. It is about doing all that is possible within our limits to achieve our own highest standards of life.
Changing your life doesn’t mean that you cannot live the way you like. You need to change your life to make it better for you, make it more comfortable, and make it more rewarding.
You also don’t need to discard your individuality or force yourself to conform to others. You only need to change your life to grow as an individual and to blossom your personality.
Changing your life is all about you, not others.
“Life will always be to a large extent what we ourselves make it.” ~ Samuel Smiles
Why People Avoid Change in Life
Some like change and some do not. Change is not easy, and it requires great effort and a strong will.
Change is also preceded by fear – the feelings of uneasiness and uncertainty. Also, it is so difficult to let go of our habits and change them, or start all over again.
It is not easy to deviate from a set path or course, and tread a new path. It is not easy to move oneself from a fixed position or a state of inertia. It is disturbing to even think of moving out of one’s comfort zone.
For some people doing nothing is being most happy. They do not want to change their way of living and blame it on their genes to be lethargic and lazy by birth, or term it as their fate.
There are people who avoid taking responsibilities and fulfill obligations, and thus avoid change. They want to lead a life of least efforts – their version of a simple life.
Some have self-doubt and do not believe change can make a difference, while others are confused about choosing the path which can change their life.
Some people’s view of life is cemented in the dogmas and doctrines of their community and so reject changing their lives, even if it would matter a lot to their lives.
Many support their refusal to change life giving the argument that they do not want to feel the need to better their life. They take the issue of betterment or progress as an offence, and react negatively to change in life.
Do such people need to change their life? Yes and no.
It’s all about having a reason for living. People who do not have an authentic purpose or direction in life generally feel no need to change it.
Whereas, those who are passionate and determined to make their lives better, and strive for longer and higher states of happiness, go for a change in life.
Those who lack determination and motivation, find excuses for not changing their life, but the ones who internally wish to progress and evolve get motivated for every reason they find to change life.
“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” ~ Carol Burnett
So, should you change your life? Nobody can judge and come up with an answer for you. It is for you to decide, and I bet it is not going to be an easy decision. Eventually, only you know if you fulfill all criteria to be happy and content.
Just as the old saying goes that there’s a time for everything, similarly, a time comes in everyone’s life to change. Either you wait for the time to change, or change your life early to stay ahead of time.
For those who wish to change their lives here’s some information, which tells you to be prepared for the difficult journey. And some more food for thought before you really plunge into changing your life.
Over to you –
I hope this comprehensive description of many aspects of changing life can help you decide if you need to change your life.
I’d like to know your thoughts, ideas, and questions if any, to make us think deeper and help ourselves clear our understanding about the meaning of being happy, content, and find reasons to change life.
Do you think we should try to change our life? Did you ever change your life, if yes, then what was the need and the overall experience? If not, then why? Contribute your views to whether you should change your life or not.
Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Posted on: August 4th, 2012
Last Updated on: February 2nd, 2015