Rekindle Love in Marriage in 10 Practical Ways

How to re-cherish and revive your marriage

- | 87 Aha! comments | Posted in category: Love & Relationships

couple hug each other to rekindle love in marriage

Have you observed that romance seems to fade away at some point in most marriages?

As discussed in my earlier post on why does a bad marriage happen, people have revealed that the physical intimacy couples once had decreases with time.

They also confessed that they no longer verbalize their love as much as they used to. Can you relate to such revelations and confessions?

Let’s be frank and honest here – most of you, including me, need to rekindle the love in our marriages because we all face the ups and downs in our relationships – don’t we?

Ever thought of how to rekindle love in marriage that was there once upon a time?

Since love is the bonding element and an essential aspect of a working marriage, you need to find ways to arouse the love again in your marriage.

You need to start romancing again like the old days to revive the love and passion, and to repair and strengthen your bond of marriage. Does it seem difficult?

Well, don’t worry because married couples can rekindle love in marriage that they might have lost over time in easy and practical ways, though it requires co-operation from both partners.

“Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.” ~ Tom Mullen

Ways to Rekindle Love in Marriage

Although there are many ways of rekindling love in a marriage, but I’m sharing just a few of them. While I’ve tried some of these restorative ways, some I still need to. They are –

1. Plan a date night

If you haven’t done it yet – start setting up date nights with your partner. You could take turns to plan the dates. Surprise each other with some activity to rekindle love in your marriage.

You don’t have to spend lots of money and buy expensive gifts. Remember, small things matter. So, even a candle light dinner in your backyard or in a quiet place can be a date night.

If life’s demands force both of you to put your marriage last in the list of your priorities, then there’s all the more reason to deliberately plan a date and make time for it.

You could plan to go out together once a week or once a fortnight, to just getaway.

Remember to have fun and be creative, just as you did and were before you got married. Bring back the love in your marriage – only you can do that and no one else.

2. Be attractive

Your partner didn’t marry you for your brain or wealth, but for what you’re and how you looked – isn’t it? You did get into a relationship because you both felt physically attracted towards each other.

So, it’s important to keep looking good for each other even after you are married – for years to come. I’ve always seen my parents as a living example, because they always lived for each other.

In most of the cases affairs and adultery takes place when one of the spouse stops taking care of themselves, and either becomes obese, and unattractive.

This makes the partner compare his or her spouse to another, outside their marriage.

Temptation works! So, it’s important that both the husband and wife should continue to look good for each other to rekindle love in marriage.

3. Don’t take your partner for granted – Tell your spouse you love him or her

I’m sure most of you are guilty of this one!

How many times do you express your love to your spouse? How many times do you really say those 3 magical words – I love you? Be honest! I forget so many times, I admit! How about you?

I think most couples take each other for granted and feel that once they are married, it’s alright not to keep telling each other how much I love you as it’s understood. How wrong can they be!

When you first dated, you couldn’t wait to spend time with each other, and looked forward to being with one another. You worked on your relationship – didn’t you?

This attention made your spouse feel loved and special.

You need to express your love more often to your spouse after marriage by telling them how much you love them. How can you do that? Here are a few simple ways –

  • Send them emails, or cards without any occasion – just to make them feel special.
  • Talk to them as often as you can, tell them you miss them and want to be with them.
  • Try messaging that, “I can’t wait to get home and be with you,” or “I’m thinking about you,” to your spouse during the day.
  • Or write love notes around the house that your spouse can find around the house like a romantic treasure hunt!
  • Discuss about your day, and ask about how their day was – this is something that most couples don’t do? Am I right?

It becomes all the more necessary to let your partner know you love them, every single day so that they feel assured, and it does feel good to hear these words too – doesn’t it?

Don’t fall into the trap and say, “I don’t have to tell him/her, he/she already knows, or I don’t have time to tell him/her I love them.” To tell your spouse you love him/her is the greatest gift you can give them.

So, if you haven’t been telling them that – go on and say it now, it’s never too late! Don’t let that spark fizzle off! Rekindle the love in your marriage by saying these magical words and watch the difference.

4. Don’t be snarky

If you’ve been criticizing or abusing each other in your relationship, then it’s likely to suffer and might even lead to a breakup.  Agreed everyone makes mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you behave the way you do!

That will only push your spouse further away from you, which makes it harder to feel close – leave alone get intimate or make love to each other.

Instead, do things that please your partner. Try to become best friends with your spouse.

Say words that make your spouse feel good, like – “You’re looking beautiful tonight” or show your gratitude by saying, “It’s so nice of you to have brought me this gift – I love it.” (even if you feel differently!)

According to research, happy couples make five times more positive than negative statements about each other – no wonder they have better sex too. I hope you appreciate and compliment your partners!

5. Touch more often

You won’t believe it, but a simple touch has great powers. So, touch often, and you can do that by simple things like holding hands when you walk or sit.

Simply take turns and hug each other, put your arms around each other, or wrap around each other when in bed at night. You can instantly feel the love and warmth with the touch.

Two good reasons for doing this – first, the spouse receiving your affection isn’t tempted to look for love elsewhere.

Second – the spouse giving the affection conveys to other spouse stealers that you are happily married – so stay away!

You can stop many affairs in a relationship and adultery from happening when you publicly express your affection towards your spouse.

By touching your spouse many times a day you acknowledge their presence, and it’s one way of showing them how much you love them. If you haven’t been doing it – get started now!

6. Rediscover sexual pleasures

Another way to rekindle love in marriage is to try different ways, position, and place of sex, instead of the same boring routine sex you might be having.

There’s an ancient Indian saying that connotes that don’t make love to different men or women, but make love to the same man or woman in different ways to keep the love alive in marriage and pacify the temptations of adultery.

The Internet is full of great ideas if you’ve run out of them. It doesn’t have to be just about sex, even kissing and fondling do wonders.

Fantasy sex is one aspect that can rekindle love in marriage and help the person deal with any unfulfilled sexual desires.

Such desires could tempt you or your spouse to seek resources outside the marriage if they are not attended to or resolved within your marriage and with your partner.

So, be the secret passionate lover that resides in your spouse’s heart and mind.

Try being more sensuous, sexy, and romantic with each other, and bring back the passions of fire that were there initially.

Married couple lying on ground and holding hands to express love

7. Make an effort to have fun together

You all lead busy lives, and while you are busy at work and rushing through life, your spouse might be busy handling the home front and kids. Such is life, and we all have to live it.

But that shouldn’t stop you from having your share of fun with each other because you need to create that time to bond with each other and get intimate.

You could try any of the following ways, or get creative and add more to this list –

  • Spend a night, just the two of you, in a motel. Get someone over to take care of the kids, or drop them over at your parents.
  • Dine out at your favorite restaurant, or just go to any joint to eat out.
  • Take a class together to learn something new like dance or new language.
  • Cook a romantic dinner for the two of you – as you would’ve before marriage.
  • Take a vacation and move out leaving all your work behind, just the two of you!

Remember, you need to do something out of the ordinary to make your boring and monotonous life, interesting and lively once again.

You need to rekindle love in marriage and bring back the passion that once was, if it’s not there now. Rediscover what excites you or your spouse and do those things. Become a love teacher once again!

Marriages that are successful are never boring. Got more ideas to share – let me know in the comments below!

8. Always keep your channels of communication open

Being couples, you need to keep talking and discussing things with each other. I see many couples stop doing this because they get so busy in their daily chores and work. What happens then?

The connectivity that once was seems to disappear. It happens with me many time when due to some reasons I cannot get across to my husband either because he is busy, or I am involved in work.

It seems like we are strangers living under the same roof, until we realize this fact and work towards creating that ‘us’ time, which is SO important in all marriages. Does it happen with you too?

You need to do things to emotionally connect once again with each other.

Some small things like, helping your spouse in the housework, getting kids reach for school, help in the garden, or just about anything that helps you connect and talk better with each other.

Don’t forget to tell your spouse what you like or don’t like romantically. Couples should express what they like, how they feel, and what they think their partner wants.

9. Break the rules – Do something unexpected or out of the ordinary

Most couples tend to lead a boring life or do things that are predictable. For example, you know what time your spouse will come home for dinner, so you have it all laid in time.

You know when he or she will leave, so your breakfast is on time, or you know when he or she will go to sleep, so you close the lights and sleep as well. But you don’t have to do that!

Try doing something unexpected, and unpredictable. Surprise your spouse by dressing differently, having something unexpected laid out when he or she returns from work – that it wows him or her.

Anything works as long as it rekindles the love in your marriage.

10. Be what your spouse wants you to be

Every person has an image of how their ideal partner should be. Try to get into the mind of your spouse and know what he or she fantasizes about.

You can even talk, walk, and dress like what your spouse dreams of his or her ideal partner or lover.

This may require you to do things that are unusual for you, but doing so brings happiness to your spouse, and that’s what really matters in a marriage – isn’t it?

By doing so, you keep the fires or passion burning alive and rekindle love in marriage once again. I liked The Passion Plan that helps rekindle love in marriage and would help you bond better.

“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.” ~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning

husband and wife clink juice glasses and share happy moments

How You Can Rekindle Love in Marriage

If you know things aren’t going right in your marriage, or you feel unhappy in your marriage – do something about it. Remember, marriage is like fire, if you don’t stoke the fire, it will go out.

You need to keep the fire and passion in your marriage alive by talking and being with each other, making time for romance, without any ifs and buts.

All of us have to work hard for a living, but isn’t your family and marriage the very reason for you to work so hard? You cannot neglect one for the other, instead, balance out your time to devote to both.

That’s why I’m taking a break, which I always do at this time of the year – it’s our annual summer vacation trip and we all are traveling as a family.

I’m sure this break would help me plan on rekindling the love in my marriage as well as spending quality time with my family. How about you – when are you taking your break?

Thus, if I don’t respond to comments immediately, or am a little late in visiting your blogs and sharing your posts, I’m sure you’d understand why 🙂

“Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be.” ~ Robert Browning

If there are problems in your marriage, talk them out and commit to change what’s in your hands. Focus on the positive goals and limit the complaints.

Remember, that learning how to rekindle a marriage is about recollecting the little things you used to do when you were in a relationship, or when you had just got married. You need to get back right there.

I strongly feel that the love between married couples rarely disappears. Instead, the feeling of love just hides behind the feelings of anger, abandonment, neglect, resentment, and loneliness.

You can rekindle love in marriage if you are willing to do the work – are you? Then what are you waiting for – go ahead and tell your spouse how much you love him or her 🙂

Over to you

Do you feel the love in your marriage is missing or seems to have fizzled off? What ways would you suggest to rekindle love in marriage and bond better with your spouse? Share in the comments below.

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos



Show Comments

87 Comments - Read and share thoughts

  1. anis

    2013-06-06 at 4:38 am

    Hi Harleena this is an awesome post

    I think that I should bring this post to my mother to read she will find it interesting for sure more than me 😀

    Since this post has no relationship with My Girlfriend 😀

    I love my GF a lot 😀
    Thanks for sharing Harleena 😀

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-07 at 2:33 am

      Hi Anis,

      Glad you liked the post 🙂

      Ah..yes, I know you don’t need this one as yet because you aren’t married, though I hope your Mom likes it 🙂

      However, if you read through carefully, there are many things like date nights, gifts, surprises etc, that even unmarried lots like you can use. I guess most youngsters dating their girlfriends who commented above mentioned these points.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views 🙂

  2. Shalu

    2013-06-06 at 4:24 am

    Very fascinating Harleena. I like the idea of going to a motel for the weekend. The trouble is if you try to leave the children at your parents house, they will sense that you are going away for a dirty weekend. What do you do think?

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-07 at 2:29 am

      Hi Shalu,

      Oh yes…it surely is a nice idea going to a motel if you can make it. I know what you mean, but I think if you start doing this when kids are young they get used to it. If your kids are older, make some excuse – I’m sure they’d not be able to make that out 😉

      And if they are teens or older still, they understand everything and in-fact sometimes encourage you to go and give them a breather! So, it always gets better with time. It’s just that we need to decide on a day and date – and get away!

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  3. Ana

    2013-06-06 at 1:37 am

    Great list. I was thinking “Yes”, “Yes, “Yes” all the way through until I got to #10 – I don’t agree with that one. I think you are more attractive to your partner if you are a woman with a mind of your own and you’re not doing everything just to please him.

    I sometimes think what you don’t do is as important as the things you do – if you always treat your partner with kindness, you won’t say hurtful things that are not easily forgotten, for example.

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-07 at 2:18 am

      Welcome to the blog Ana!

      Glad you liked the list and could relate to it 🙂

      Ah…the 10th one, just as I was mentioning to a few friend’s above, is more about how much freedom you have in your marriage and whether your partner accepts you for who and as you are. Yes, if you change for for the love you have for him/her, that’s also good. But if your spouse loves you, would he/she really want you to change – I guess not, and that’s what makes the relationship and a marriage all the more beautiful.

      I agree with you there – having a mind of your own and being who you are is what attracts a person, in most of the cases because some partners like their spouse to be like who they want them to be like, and they are more than willing to change and become like that too because they love them. I guess it all depends from person to person and the relationship they share with their spouse.

      Yes indeed, in most of the cases, if you do things that you shouldn’t they are easily forgotten and forgiven.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  4. Corina Ramos

    2013-06-06 at 12:53 am

    My sweetie and I recently hit a rough patch and it all had to do with my working so much.

    We had a great talk and it was the first time he shared his feelings with me, that definitely brought us closer.

    We made a promise to each other to take some time for us to reconnect and it was great. We did all you suggested.

    We worked on some home improvement projects, had lunch, we worked out…it was great.

    You’ve shared some very valuable and relationship-saving advice! I hope this will reach those folks who can use this advice. Thank you Harleena!

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-07 at 2:05 am

      Hi Corina,

      Hmm…sounds like we might be sailing in the same boat because such ups and downs keep happening, especially when I get too involved in work.

      Nice to know that by talking and conversing with each other you could resolve issues, which I think is the key factor. More so, when your spouse is able to understand or becomes a part of your work, there is much deeper love and understanding – isn’t there?

      Don’t you wish you had more of such moments of togetherness? Yes, we need to work to create such moments by fixing a time or date that we can take out to be with those we love, or else we tend to get lost in the daily rut of life.

      I also hope these ways to rekindle love in marriage work for those who might need them.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us 🙂

  5. Susan Ekins

    2013-06-05 at 11:04 pm

    Great tips, Harleena. I agree with all except for #10 – I think each spouse should try to accept the other as they are instead.
    In September, my husband and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary. The best way that we have found to rekindle the love in our marriage was by taking a Worldwide Marriage Encounter weekend. It was not just a one-time event; rather, it gave us the tools and support to keep our marriage strong.

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-07 at 1:48 am

      Hi Susan,

      Glad you liked these tips on how to rekindle love in marriage 🙂

      I agree with you there, and that’s what is called actual freedom. If you change yourself for someone because of the love you have for him/her, that’s another way to show your love. But if the person loves you enough he would accept you for who and as you are, and not want you to change as that’s how he loved you initially too – isn’t it?

      Wow! 30 years is a great achievement to be together in this world where people have a tough time staying together even for a few days! Never heard of this, but I think the weekend surely sounds an interesting one and I’m sure it must have helped you bond better.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us 🙂

  6. Ahsan

    2013-06-05 at 7:29 pm

    Wow… Harleena, I have to say that you are now fully marriage counselling expert.

    Rekindle love certainly helps to build better bondage & it helps to know each other in a better & new way.

    I think all the married couples need to follow your techniques.

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-07 at 1:34 am

      Hi Ahsan,

      Aha…thanks for saying those kind words, though I feel I’m still learning a lot about marriage and relationships myself – every single day 🙂

      Yes indeed, when you rekindle your love in your marriage, you build a better bond and deeper understanding with each other, by bringing back the good old times as before.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post 🙂

  7. Suhas

    2013-06-05 at 4:34 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    Once again an excellent presentation.
    Firstly I can say that if we value our marital relationship, we have to be serious about it. Though the closest but not to be taken casually as this relationship will always have more expectations that anything else.

    I really like the way you elaborate on even the very basic of a topic that writer generally ignore.
    A touch as mentioned by you is really important because we do not go and touch everyone.
    This article is a must read for married and mot married people too.

    Marriage is a beautiful arrangement and people who even had bad experience can understand this. Being careful about marital life is really the essence.

    Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece of work with us.

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-07 at 1:31 am

      Hi Kumar,

      Glad you liked the post 🙂

      Yes indeed, every relationship and marriage needs to be appreciated and valued, and should be taken seriously and not taken for granted.

      Nice to know that you like what I write about and that means a lot to me. I guess what I experience or undergo myself also make an important part of my posts. Yes, a warm and loving touch can mean and convey a lot, for both married and unmarried people. Even parents touching their children convey their love and care that their kids value for years to come.

      I think if you can balance your marriage and work life, and rekindle love in marriage if it seems to have fizzled because of your daily routine and life, you can keep your marriage going forever.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us 🙂

  8. Evan

    2013-06-05 at 3:32 pm

    If romance doesn’t come easy for you just try to keep in mind, it’s the thought that counts, and trust me, it’s worth every effort and every moment you invest in strengthening your marriage! Not only does your spouse benefit, but your entire family as well. I believe that loving your spouse is one of the best things you can do for your children.

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-07 at 12:38 am

      Hi Evan,

      Yes indeed, it’s always the thoughts that matter most, but sometimes you also need to express your love or else how does the other person know what you feel or of your thoughts. Sometimes what you feel your partner understands, might not be understood by them, till you show or tell them – isn’t it?

      I agree with your there – loving your spouse is the best thing you can do, and that’s something you are teaching your children too, so that they follow your footsteps when they grow up and have spouses of their own.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  9. B K chowla

    2013-06-05 at 9:42 am

    I don’t know. But,but I feel,if both the partners have given breathing space to each other in 10 odd years…perhaps,need to rekindle may not arise.

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-07 at 12:35 am

      Hi BK,

      That’s another way of looking at it. Breathing space would mean give enough freedom to each other, which is indeed needed in any relationship.

      I guess we shouldn’t forget to talk and be with each other too as I feel that’s very important for any marriage or relationship – isn’t it? I think you need more of bonding and re-connecting, and getting back the old times, which you do when you try to rekindle love in marriage 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  10. Unknown Mami

    2013-06-05 at 9:19 am

    My husband and I have gotten much better lately at having dates and it makes a HUGE difference.

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-07 at 12:30 am

      Hi Claudya – nice to have you back 🙂

      Ah… I surely need to take cues from your experience and share this tip with my hubby – would love to see the difference too 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  11. Vijesh

    2013-06-05 at 9:03 am

    Wow Harleena,

    Once again touching article but sad I am not married, but I would try to follow at least few of them you mentioned here. Going on dates, doing something unusual, sending emails or greetings though no occasion just to make them feel they are special. Apart from these I also have some more personal tips but can’t share here…

    If they work in future I will reveal
    Thanks for the share…

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-07 at 12:13 am

      Hi Vijesh,

      Nice to know that you liked the post, even though you aren’t married yet 🙂

      Yes indeed, just like a few other youngsters who aren’t as yet married, I hope these ways to rekindle love in marriage help you once you get married! But yes, there are many tips that even unmarried people can use, just as you mentioned, like sending cards, going on dates, and surprising your partner with gifts or just like that to express your love and make them feel special.

      Aha…I look forward to those other personal tips whenever you are ready to share them with us after you try them out 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post 🙂

  12. Andrea Hypno

    2013-06-05 at 7:51 am

    Very good article Harleena. We all take things for granted especially in our relationships and keeping things alive after years isn’t always easy nevertheless it has to be done.

    Cheers!

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-06 at 11:48 pm

      Hi Andrea,

      Glad you liked the post 🙂

      Yes indeed, we DO take a lot of things for granted and often feel that our partners will understand, which doesn’t always happen. I agree, keeping things alive isn’t easy, but we all do because we love each other and find ways to keep the relationship as fresh as ever. I hope these ways to rekindle love in marriage help in some ways.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  13. Neamat Tawadrous

    2013-06-05 at 7:35 am

    Hi Harleena,

    These are great tips and every married couple should make use of them. I have to admit that I fall short in most of the tips and I need to work on myself and on my marriage. I have a wonderful husband and we love each other to death but I think we kind of took each other for granted and I need to work on this. Since I started my online business, there is a gap growing as he is not supporting my business and I hope I can work things out if I followed these tips you provided here.

    Thanks Harleena and I am so glad to learn from you as you always write about real life issues and we all learn from them. Great blog.

    Be Blessed,

    Neamat

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-06 at 9:20 pm

      Hi Neamat,

      Nice to know that you liked these tips on rekindling love in a marriage 🙂

      Ah…you are surely not alone, and I think with time most of us fall short. I guess sometimes such reminders are needed for us to realize and get better, and bring back the spice in our relationship – isn’t it?

      I agree with you there that even though we have loving spouses and all is well between us, but things aren’t the same they were years ago because we get so involved in so many other things in lives, which add on with time – likes kids, family, work, profession, chores and others. We do take each other for granted and feel it’s all well between us, not realizing that it might be for either of us.

      I think I can understand why he’s feeling that ways, which could be because he might be feeling he’s not involved in your work as much or because you aren’t able to give the same time to your relationship as before – because you are too busy now, which happens so much so that we tend to neglect our spouses, and that in turn starts hurting our relationships or creates a slight gap as you mentioned. Hope these tips can help you in some ways 🙂

      Oh yes…I like writing about the real life issues as well because I also face them and always think that like me, there might be many others sailing in the same boat – and there are. I just hope these ways help them as they help me too when I write about them 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post 🙂

  14. Donna Merrill

    2013-06-05 at 6:28 am

    Great tips Harleena.

    I especially like #2 Be Attractive! Being together with my husband for 23 years, I want to always be a good “arm piece” for him no matter where we go. I just love getting dressed every day for myself but especially for him. Hair done, lipstick on, clothes matching – Although we both work from home, there is no excuse to dress like a slob! We do all this stuff to get the man and we need to keep it up to keep him. That’s my motto.

    I also think that No. 8 is the most important one of all. Without communication, a couple can crumble. I just love talking with my husband. We are together 24/7 and never run out of things to talk about. That is what attracted me most when I met him. We talked till 4 in the morning one night. I knew I could live a life with this man because he is always interesting.

    Donna

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-06 at 9:02 pm

      Hi Donna,

      Glad you liked the tips and could relate to it:)

      Yes indeed, looking good for each other and being attractive is something we all need to do, though we do also accept the fact that with age certain things change, don’t we? 😉

      That’s so sweet to dress up for him, and I’m sure he’d be appreciating your efforts too. I need to take lessons from you there! You’re right that even if we are working from home, we need to dress up well and almost like we are going for a proper job and among people.

      Absolutely! Communication IS the key to any marriage and relationships, and not being able to talk or having problems in that field can harm things between couples. Loved that…talk through the night – and I think you share a lot of each other, including the joys and sorrows and all that’s within your heart, when you talk to each other.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂

  15. Christina

    2013-06-05 at 3:01 am

    This is beautiful! A great reminder 🙂

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-06 at 8:55 pm

      Hi Christina,

      Glad you liked this reminder on how you can rekindle love in marriage 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  16. Lisa

    2013-06-04 at 11:51 pm

    Harleena, I was afraid to read this one.

    Been a sore spot of late. Good tips but I’m not sure on #10; what if the person they want you to be is not you at all?
    I agree couples need to get out of their environment once in a while to aid the relationship. Do something different. I don’t know how my parents have done it for 65 years, wish I knew the secret sauce 🙂

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-06 at 8:54 pm

      Hi Lisa,

      Ah…you’re not the only one, because most of us are guilty in a few of these points mentioned, and that includes me too 🙂

      Yes, the last point is to be the best your partner wants you to be, and if your spouse loves you enough, they would always want you to be who you are without changing for them – isn’t it? I don’t think they would want you to change for them – would they? Because they always loved you for who and what you were.

      Oh yes…going out of your way or doing something different is a good way to rekindle love in marriage and keep the spice in your marriage alive. Our parents were from a different era I feel, and even though they might not have done things differently, they were always with each other through thick and thin. I think they understood each other pretty well and had more time to spend with each other, which is where we lack nowadays.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂

  17. Carolyn

    2013-06-04 at 10:48 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    These suggestions are great! They apply to everyone in a marriage. So often I see couples who are taking each other for granted. You can sense when trouble is brewing. They don’t appreciate each other or they put each other down in front of others.

    You give great reminders of what we can do to make a spouse feel treasured, Harleena. Who doesn’t want that, right? Thanks so much for these, Harleena!

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-06 at 8:52 pm

      Hi Carolyn,

      Glad you liked these suggestions to rekindle love in marriage 🙂

      Yes indeed, most couples take each other for granted and think that their spouses will understand, which doesn’t always happen – nor should they be doing that.

      You’re right – putting each other down in-front of others or not appreciating each others efforts can harm a relationship in more ways than one. What’s needed is that they learn to value and bring back the good old times and ways they were before marriage or things changed, and they can always do that with a little effort – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. Have a nice day ahead 🙂

  18. Mayura

    2013-06-04 at 10:33 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    Well, I think I’m not grown up enough to read some tips 😀 lol… Just kiddin’… It will come to me too 😉

    I guess I’m not a reader to fetch more tips or stories here, at least for now as an unmarried kiddo 😉 But you have discussed few stuff that worked in my relationship too.

    Being attractive and expressive are vital. In addition, I used to surprise her with unexpected surprises especially by visiting her (Not home) when she believes I’m at home 😉 Actually it takes few hours for me to visit her and I had to walk few miles for my home with no transportation at late night. However she insisted me to promise that I won’t do it again as I was walking too much 😀 lol…

    Now you are setting as an example for everyone by following your own advises Harleena 🙂 Wonderful! That’s what most people missing.

    Further, I see you are adding the personal touch very well and it’s really clever ’cause it opens up yourself more to the audience and in return, it will open up readers more I guess 🙂

    You have a lovely week and why not, enjoy your annual summer camp as never before Harleena 🙂 Hope it will be filled with full of surprises for everyone in your family.

    Cheers…

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-06 at 8:33 pm

      Hi Mayura,

      Ah…I know you aren’t married but I know you’re into a relationship that would soon turn into the wonderful bond of marriage, which is when you’d need such posts – isn’t it? 🙂

      Oh yes…being attractive works, especially at your stage, and same is the case with being expressive because unless you can’t express and convey your emotions, you really can’t connect with each other. And this works for all those who are in a relationship and even married lots.

      I like the way you plan out the surprises for her, and I’m sure she must be so thrilled and happy to see you, but yes, she’s being considerate too and not wanting you to walk that much. That shows her love for you 🙂

      I guess by being personal and touching, you make the other person feel special, loved for and cared. It also let’s others know that this is your partner so they don’t mess around with them or you, so a win-win situation.

      Thanks for stopping by, and for your kind wishes. We surely are having a nice time with my Dad presently, before we head together to the hills in another few days. Hope you too are having a nice time at your end 🙂

  19. Nwosu Desmond

    2013-06-04 at 9:58 pm

    Communication is definitely the most important factor to keeping a healthy relationship because when two people can reach out to another and communicate without much glitches such relationship tends to thrive. Thanks for sharing these awesome post, though i am not married yet, i will definitely try and inculcate these behaviors to being a better husband someday.

    You have a very nice blog here, will definitely visit often.

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-06 at 7:39 pm

      Hi Nwosu, good to have you back after long 🙂

      It sure is, and nothing really works without any communication or talks with one another, at least for me it doesn’t!

      Ah…you aren’t married, yet you know how important communicating is for a relationship to thrive. I do hope these ways to rekindle the love in a marriage are of use to you whenever you get married, and I’m sure you’d make a wonderful husband as you are already taking so much of care from before 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and for sharing this post. I’m glad you liked the blog that you did visit earlier, but yes, it’s been awhile I guess. Look forward to your visits 🙂

  20. Ashley Porter

    2013-06-04 at 9:15 pm

    These are all great tips that any married couple can use Harleena. I will have to save these in mind for my future relationship.

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-06 at 7:27 pm

      Hi Ashley,

      Glad you liked the points shared 🙂

      I do hope these ways to rekindle love in marriage help you whenever you need them in your future relationships.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  21. Debbie

    2013-06-04 at 8:23 pm

    Excellent points here, Harleena.

    We enjoy date nights every week and always have fun together. 🙂 I would say though, that if you really love your mate, it wouldn’t matter that much if they gained weight, (hubby and I certainly both have, over the course of our 40 year marriage), and you are still attracted, regardless. Of course, good hygiene and good grooming should be mandatory. 😉 Communication is always necessary for any relationship to survive and thrive.

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-06 at 7:26 pm

      Hi Debbie,

      Glad you liked the points shares 🙂

      Awesome indeed that you DO manage to enjoy date nights even after having been married for 40 years! I guess we all need to take lessons from you as to how to rekindle love in marriage 🙂

      Oh yes…I agree that we all put on weight over the years and that’s no reason to not be in love, in-fact we grow with age as they say, and that happens in all aspects 😉

      However, it’s said that you remain attracted if you maintain yourself and look good for each other. I still need to work on that aspect and look good the way we are, though there’s always a scope to improve and get better – isn’t it?

      Yes indeed, without communication or talking to each other, nothing really works and as I always say – it’s the key to keep all marriages and relationships going.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post 🙂

  22. Darlene Today

    2013-06-04 at 7:45 pm

    Harleena..

    I’m sitting here reading this awesome post and as I’m digesting the marriage info, I’m simultaneously thinking how it’s good enough to be a book. Then, as I noticed the length, I REALLY thought how this could be a Kindle guide.

    Geez.. now I forgot what I wanted to say about marriage.. Hmmm.. Oh wait, I remember!

    I have a saying.. it might be a bit to the extreme but ya’ll will get the point. My gauge is “Would you do it on the first date?”

    Obviously you can’t use this literally, but it’s like when you mention looking good. I guarantee all of us made an effort for that on our first date. So, do it now!

    But I kinda use it in the opposite way, too. Take something as silly as a burp.. Would you burp in front of your date? LOL Of course not, so don’t do it now in front of hubby/wife.

    Lovin your blog! Darlene 🙂

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-04 at 10:14 pm

      Hi Darlene,

      Nice to know that you could resonate so well with this post 🙂

      Ah…that’s such a lovely compliment I must say, though it’s not all that worthy to be turned into a book or a Kindle guide for that matter. Yes, my post length’s most often run into great length’s that give a feeling of a guide. But you gave me a good idea to perhaps combine a few of such posts and turn them into a book.

      First date’s are very special I think, and I still remember mine – precious moments to be treasured indeed. That’s what we all need to remember that we did all the good and nice things when we were dating – we looked good and always had our best foot forward, but why can’t it be the same years later? What dies down after marriage? A golden question – isn’t it?

      Glad you are loving the blog, and I too am loving your visits and wonderful comments.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts 🙂

      • Darlene Today

        2013-06-05 at 9:29 pm

        I will agree with you in that there needs to be more content for a book.. but here’s the thing: Most of us have the attention span of a gnat, which is why the shorter Kindle books (make it a series while you’re at it) are blowing off the shelves.

        BUT: “It’s not all that worthy to be turned into a book or a Kindle guide for that matter.”

        Nope! Sorry, I don’t mean to be contrary.. but that’s simply not true.

        Pick up 2 -3 books in this category and skim thru. Now tell me your writing isn’t as good or better than those published books.

        ~ darlene

        • Harleena Singh

          2013-06-06 at 6:29 pm

          Sounds like a good idea, Darlene 🙂

          Ah…thanks so much for your kind words of appreciation. I guess I can do a little better once I know these posts might get into the form or an eBook or Kindle one day.

          Honestly speaking, I’ve yet to go through any of the eBooks one sees around because of the lack of time and I feel we tend to get biased reading them once we write, or might just start writing like those. Having your own voice is better.

          Thanks once again for the inspiration to turn think towards something that might work out in the near future. 🙂

  23. Linda Ursin

    2013-06-04 at 6:14 pm

    Both have to make an effort. The desire to improve things is lost when you’re the only one trying.

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-04 at 8:12 pm

      Welcome to the blog Linda!

      Absolutely! If constant efforts aren’t made from both the sides, nothing really works in a marriage. One person trying to make things work will often keep trying with no results, or give up soon. I do hope these tips help people rekindle the love in the marriage.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

      • Linda Ursin

        2013-06-05 at 1:15 am

        I hope so too. I’ve been doing ‘that’ dance for 22 years.

        • Harleena Singh

          2013-06-05 at 1:19 am

          I’m sure hard work always pays as they say, and things would get better. Some day realization will strike 🙂

          Thanks once again 🙂

  24. Oluwaseun Babajide

    2013-06-04 at 5:57 pm

    Harleena,

    I agree with you that romance fade away at some point in marriages. I love all your points on ways to rekindle love in marriage. I do #1-Plan a date night. I do this so often to keep our love/marriage alive.

    Oh yes, I can be too romantic :D. Sending cards, flowers to her place of work etc. I can’t remember the last time I said I love you. I need to start doing this more often, like you said, Be honest!

    Thanks for the share.
    -Seun.

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-04 at 6:21 pm

      Hi Seun,

      Nice to know that you could resonate with the post 🙂

      Yes, it surely does with time – unless you are really good at keeping things working always, which I doubt we are because we have so much on our minds and hands to cover. I’m so glad you already plan out your date nights – we are really bad at that, because my hubby always believes in taking our kids along for most of our outings…lols…so I’d surely make him read this one too.

      Sounds like you really didn’t need to go through these ways to rekindle love in marriage as you are already doing so well! Sending flowers and cards – awesome! And I think if you add those three magic words also to the list – your wife would have it all 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with all of us 🙂

  25. Enstine Muki

    2013-06-04 at 5:46 pm

    That’s romantic Harleena! Interesting tips for us the married 😉 I’ll let my wife read this of course. Not that the love is missing though but I think knowing this you’ve shared is enriching 😉

    Nice read!

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-04 at 6:11 pm

      Hi Enstine,

      Glad you felt so, because that’s a very important aspect we cannot ignore 🙂

      Aha…just your wife? Or perhaps you are already good at all these ways 😉 Jokes apart, I agree with you there – it’s not that love is missing, but sometime along the busyness of life, there are many things that do get left behind. I hope these ways to rekindle love in marriage helps in some ways to bring back the same good old charm we had when we had long back started off – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing your views 🙂

  26. Babanature

    2013-06-04 at 4:49 pm

    Wow Harleena, you’re right on point with your hot take home offer. 🙂

    Every married man or woman should take your advice to build a stronger relationship. I would say more but you’ve already said what i’d say in a perfect way.

    I hope you have a nicer trip and do show your husband the best pleasure ever 😉 . Thanks

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-06-04 at 6:04 pm

      Hi Babanature,

      Glad you liked this one and I guess most of us married lots can relate well to it 🙂

      Thank you for your kind words, and I think most of us even know at the back of our minds what is really missing in our marriages, so these ways can help as reminders to rekindle love in marriages for all of us 🙂

      I sure do plan on having one, and I think all of us need a break sometime or the other. We would all be travelling as a family, but it’s always good to be together and have fun too – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views 🙂




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

4 + five =

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.



Rekindle Love in Marriage in 10 Practical Ways

Join our list

Subscribe to our mailing list and get interesting stuff and updates to your email inbox.

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.

Send this to a friend