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The Father Who Had No Time
Today I’m going to share a story about the father who had no time for his family. Even…
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Today I’m going to share a story about the father who had no time for his family. Even though the good father wanted to spend maximum time with his family, he was always caught up in other things.
I just thought it had been long since I shared a story, and this seemed just apt. I had read a similar story long back, which made me realize the importance of setting priorities in my life.
You all know how valuable time is for each one of us. More so, the precious time that every father and mother need to spend with their children.
Though the post says – the father, but it’s also meant for mothers who are working and aren’t able to devote enough time for their family and children.
Nevertheless, even those who aren’t parents can relate to the post, especially if they have/had parents who spend or aren’t/weren’t able to spend time with them.
My intention isn’t to make you feel bad or guilty, but to understand the importance of how quality family time makes a difference in everybody’s lives, and to realize that time flies!
So, without delay, here is a story about the father who wanted to spend quality time with his family, but somehow always landed with no time in hand.
“That is the thankless position of the father in the family – the provider for all, and the enemy of all.” ~ J. August Strindberg
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Story About The Father With No Time
Once there was a hardworking father who delivered newspapers as a living to support his family. He had a happy family that consisted of his wife and two kids.
The fathers used to spend the mornings doing his delivering work, while in the evenings he devoted the time attending classes.
He wanted to be a better parent, and did his best to educate and improve himself so that he could one day find a better paying job.
It was only on Sundays, that the busy father ate a meal together with his family, while the rest of the days he worked and studied hard.
The good father did this to provide his family with the best that money could buy. He wanted to give them a life they loved.
Very soon his family started complaining that he wasn’t spending enough time with them. The father reasoned that he was doing all this for their happiness.
But deep in his heart, he too yearned to bond with his family and spend those precious moments of togetherness with them.
Finally, the day came when the examination results were declared. To the father’s surprise, he had passed with distinction, and was soon offered a good job as a supervisor that paid well!
It was almost like a dream come true for the father and his family. He could now afford to provide his family with life’s big and small pleasures like good food, clothes, a house, and vacations abroad too.
However, the family still didn’t get to see the busy father for most of the week. He continued working hard with the hope to be promoted to the position of a manager.
In fact, to make himself a worthy enough candidate, the father even enrolled for another course. He was once more studying alongside working.
Once again, the family complained that the father wasn’t spending enough time with them, and he repeated that it was all for them. And all through, he kept yearning to spend more time with his family.
The father’s hard work paid off, and he was promoted to the position of manager, and was paid well. Happily, he decided to hire a maid to relieve his wife from her house work.
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The father also felt that the three-bedroom flat was small, and it would be nice for his family to be able to enjoy the comfort of a larger bungalow.
The good father knew from his past experiences that his hard work had always paid off earlier. So, he thought of continuing his studies with an aim for higher promotions. This meant more money.
Slowly, the family also got to see less and less of him. Now, sometimes the hard-working father had to even overwork on Sundays to entertain the clients. However, he too kept yearning to spend more time with them.
Again, when his family would complain that they don’t get to spend time with him, the good father would say he’s earning for them.
As expected, the father’s hard work paid off and he purchased a beautiful bungalow overlooking the sea.
On the very first Sunday evening at their new home, the father declared that he had decided not to take any more courses, nor run after promotions.
He too wanted to relax and devote more time to his family. Sadly, the father did not wake up the next day.
“Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.” ~ Ruth E. Renkel
Moral Of The Story
There is just one message that goes out loud and clear from the story. Spend time with your loved ones, for tomorrow may never come. It never came for the father, and it might never come for you too.
I’m sorry if this sounds too blunt or direct, but that’s how life is – you never know what’s going to happen next, so every moment is precious.
I know you all have busy lives and sometimes it’s tough to take out time for your loved ones, even if you want to. After all, you all earn for them and want to give them all the comforts in the world.
However, what worth are the comforts if you aren’t going to be there to enjoy them with your family? You spend those precious years earning money, and miss out on seeing your children grow.
Let me ask you – Is money everything for you? Are you really being a good father or a good mother to your kids? Or even if you are working, are you devoting enough time for your parents?
Are you really giving them the real gift of your time?
“The best thing to spend on your children is your time.” ~ Louise Hart
Being a mother, I know I am guilty at times and need to spend more time with my loved ones. So, while I write this I intend doing things differently from what the father did – work hard, but balance things out.
Go out and connect with your family and kids. They need you as much as you need them. Spend these precious moments that never return – with them. You’ll only be happy that you did. 🙂
Over to you –
Could you relate to the story of the father who had no time? Do you feel you also need to spend more time with your family? How do you plan making more time for them? Share below.
Photo Credit: Freedigitalphotos
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i’m the youngest child in a family of 4. my dad never has time for me or my bro, he always has some excuse like i’m tired or i’m busy or just something, it’s always something, i’m 14 and the last time we did smthg together was probably when i was 8. i want to be angry or sad but it’s been so long, i don’t even feel anything anymore.
Hi Harleen Mam,
Well I want to thank my father about this. Although my father is in government service and have to work from 9 – 3 ( winter) 8 – 2(summer ) But they managed to have time for family. I still remember when I was 5-6 years old. They used to play cricket with us. Enjoying time with us. Earlier DD1 is the only way of entertainment and we used to watch movies on Sunday.
Starting our day with Rangoli and that was great time.
I always ask my father to return home soon so we can play. He is a great man and always have time for us.
Well it feel sorry for those who have full time working fathers. Well hope this post can make them understand the value of family.
Thanks once again and reminding the wonderful memories of my childhood.
I would like to also add one incident. When I got fracture in my arm and My father took me to hospital. I still remember the warmth of his arms. Love you Papa.
Thanks once again. have a great weekend ahead and keep up the good work
Regards
Ashish
One sad story here is what you have presented Harleena 🙁 and the other sad story is that I don’t even remember the face of my father. He left for heavenly abode when I was just a little kid. I have been on this kind of story myself. Thanks God there ain’t any story like Mother who had no time. I have brought up with all love from my Mom and I am sure there wont be this kind of story in future even.
I want this story to be read by all the Fathers of the world and learn from this post about the real love, as a father, they can offer to their families.
I have read a small story where a kid ask his father about how much amount he earns per day. Knowing the answer from his father, he demands the same amount from him. When asked by the father for reason of asking that amount the kid replies “All I want to do with that amount is to pay you that so that you offer your time of the day for us”
I’ll keep up your expectations of being a good father of my Kids 🙂
Regards.
Hi Koj,
Sorry if it brought back bad memories to you as that wasn’t my intention here 🙂
I can understand about your father and some losses are just not in our hands. And we have to accept this as His decision. It’s nice that your mom covered up well for your fathers loss, and that’s what makes mothers so special, isn’t it? However, there are families where both parents have to earn for a living, and the scene, whether it’s the father or mother is the same then.
I agree, such stories are to motivate and inspire parents to bond better with their families by taking out time for them, and not just spend all the time earning money because if they aren’t there to enjoy their family, what use is the money.
Yes, I’ve heard of that story too and that just shows even kids and your families miss your presence and are willing to do anything, just for getting more of your time.
I’m sure you will be a wonderful father to your kids whenever the time comes 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post 🙂
Hi Harleena
This is an eye opener in india. Everybody should know their responsibilty towards their family and father is a leader of their own home and they should create good example in front of their family. But in this competitive world one has to be so active in their work also.
Anyways its a good story…………
Welcome to the blog Mic!
Sorry for the late reply – I seemed to have missed this one 🙂
You are right, and it’s just not in India as parents tend to remain busy all the time due to their work schedule and often realize the value of family when it’s too late.
I agree, work is also important, but am sure we as parents can take out time for our loved ones, after all they are ones we earn for – isn’t it?
Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Harleena ji, each and every post of your blog has some great sense, i have read 3 topic today on your blog. Truly saying each topic force me to think about my life. Really a great work by you. In one line “now i am fan of this blog”.
This post is so close to heart and touchy. 🙂
Welcome to the blog Inderjit!
Glad you liked the post, and thanks for visiting and reading through 🙂
Thank you for your words of appreciation, and yes, this is a blogzine to help people make their lives better, and if I can help in some ways – I would be more than happy. I agree the post is a little touchy because the realization came rather late to the father who had no time for his loved ones – hope none of us commit the same mistakes like he did.
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
Harleena,
Wonderful and touching story. Though it’s a story, it makes me to feel so sad since it happened for a great soul and wonderful Dad who work hard for family.
Indeed, we are all part the story I believe. Sometimes I feel guilty as not spending enough time with family and kid , though I do as much needed.
When kids grow up, sometime we surely miss out the harmonious moments and tiny happy corners due to our official schedule or work.
The outcome we can feel only later where the time won’t wait for anything. Spending enough time with family is a crucial part and absolutely no doubt about it.
Thanks for sharing the nice subject and great post.
Hi Manickam,
Glad you liked the story and could relate to it. 🙂
I can well understand your feelings, and yes, though the story had a sad ending – it also taught us all a lesson in return, isn’t it? The father did work pretty hard for his family, just like all fathers do. However, it’s often the lack of time to spend with their loves ones that leads to such a situation that nobody would want.
Most of us are guilty somewhere or the other and see ourselves like the father in the story, and it was with that aim in mind I’d wanted to share this with everyone – so that we can somehow manage to take out a little time for our loved ones. Time waits for no one, and with our kids growing up so fast, it only makes sense to spend this time we have, with them.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views. 🙂
Hi Harleena,
I’ve heard this story way too many times and have seen it in action. My ex-best friend experienced this scenario I’m afraid and their son was only 5 when his Dad didn’t live to see another day.
I know that it’s important to provide for your family and you’re only thinking of their best interests. But to me I’d rather live a comfortable life then have all the best things if that meant spending more time with the ones you love.
Most people are career oriented these days and want nice things but at the end of your life you can’t take any of that with you. What a waste.
~Adrienne
Hi Adrienne,
Ah…I should’ve guessed that a few people would have read this story or something based on similar lines earlier. Oh dear…you even saw it all in action – that’s very sad. I guess it must’ve broken their family.
I agree with you there – I think we share similar thoughts on that one. Family always comes first, and there’s just no way I would rather spend time making money and not be with those who matter more to me. I’d never want to land up like the father in the story. But I do feel bad for those who do, and the worst part is that realization strikes them rather late.
You are so right – you aren’t really going to carry those riches and things money can buy with you when your life ends. So, why not spend those precious moments with the ones who are much more valuable.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your words of wisdom with all of us. 🙂
Goodness! I guess I have been missing on some quality articles lately.
I have been seeing you on virtually every blog comments but haven’t had a chance to look at your blog.. Have now had a look at few articles, and I can say YOU WRITE PRETTY GOOD!
Many thanks for sharing this lovely article.
Seun
Welcome to the blog Oluwaseun!
Thank you for your words of appreciation. Great to connect as well, and am happy you stopped by 🙂
Nice to know that you liked the article, and I shall stop by your blog pretty soon too. 🙂
Thanks for your visit. 🙂
Wow, great article. The one thing i like the most is its moral – Spend time with your loved ones, for tomorrow may never come. Personally i believe believe that spending time with loved ones is best moment of life.
Welcome to the blog Harish!
Yes indeed, the most important part of the post or the moral is to spend time with your loved ones, and do so before it becomes too late. Tomorrow never comes, and if it comes – it never waits for anyone – isn’t it? What you have is the NOW – so make the best of it today. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
Hey Harleena,
Sometimes, it’s really had to balance up between spending time with family and working hard for that same family. However, it’s crucial to take that tough decision early enough to spend time with them.
At every level in life, there is always something that’s better but we must learn not always to run after the better things as we may be loosing the comfort of the good things we already have.
Sad story with a lesson 😉
Welcome to the blog Enstine!
I’m with you there – finding the right balance is easier said than done, and it’s something I struggle with too at times. However, there’s no other way you can really connect with them – isn’t it? And just as you mentioned, it’s a crucial decision we all have to make and set our priorities according to that. 🙂
I liked what you said about choosing something better instead of something good that you already have. We all have choices in our lives, and yes, each one of us has the choice to choose what’s good for us – where we need to think wisely. Glad you liked the story, which though was sad, but I hope it conveyed a valuable lesson.
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
Thats a very touching story Harleena,
And can really relate to that as I’ve also seeing such in my neighborhood.
The most ugly thing that can happen to any man is not having enough time to spend with your family, what is the essence of all the money you’re making if you cannot enjoy it with your family?
A wonderful post as always Harleena.
Thanks for sharing.
Hi Theodore,
I agree, the story is touching, but I hope it managed to convey a lesson to everyone. 🙂
It often happens that men aren’t really able to enjoy the time with their family even though they want to as they are generally busy earning, though there are always a few exceptions and in fact even wonderful fathers who look after kids more than their real mothers – again due to various reasons. However, whether you are a mom or a dad, the real thing that matters is that you learn to take out some time for your loved ones during the day, which only helps you bond better – isn’t it?
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
Hi Harleena,
I have to say this tragic story evoked painful memories for me – I had loving, caring parents, but my Dad was often too busy at work to spend much time with us and my lovely Mum never played games with us – it just wasn’t her thing, I think because she’d never had much of a childhood herself. I think that had quite an impact on me – I grew up quite an anxious, serious child – it’s almost as if I’m only just getting over it, decades later.
I don’t have children – my husband and two dogs and cats are my family and I must admit they’ve been a bit neglected over the last couple of years when I’ve had a full time day job while working online most evenings and weekends. I’m looking forward to spending much more quality time with my husband once I retire from my job at the end of this month – lots of long walks with the dogs, which we both enjoy.
I hope any parents reading your post get the message, Harleena – it’s such an important one, Sue.
Hi Sue,
I’m sorry that the story evoked painful memories for you though that wasn’t my intention. I can well understand how busy lives can get with our parents sometimes, and it’s often the children who suffer.
I guess in your case your dad was always like that, which is similar to most dads who remain rather busy. Sometimes either of our parents have been raised in such a way that they don’t know any other way but that, so it’s not really their fault and that’s how they raise us too. Perhaps with your mom it was like that – I mean to say that’s how she might have been raised by her parents too. I’m glad however that you got over that stage of being a anxious and serious child.
I know my Dad was another one of those people who was always working, but he was very careful to give us enough time and even holiday breaks, which balanced it all out very well. We were indeed lucky to have our mom with us all the time, and even though she used to work, but it was part time and she made sure she was back home once we were home from school. We were truly blessed that ways to have our parents always with us.
You have a lovely family indeed Sue, and yes, like you even I tend to neglect mine sometimes when I get too involved in this online work. I’m sure things would get better for you once you retire as your family would get to see more of you, which will help all of you bond better as well. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. 🙂
Thanks for your kind and thoughtful reply, Harleena – appreciated,
No need at all to apologise for the post – it was good for me to reflect on those things and I think you’ve raised a really important issue.
Sue
I feel a little bad Sue, when I tend to bring out those feelings in people – it does take you down memory lane…
Thanks though for making me feel comfortable about it. 🙂
Wow…that was some story, Harleena.
My father was that way. He had to just work…work…work… Living in the Philippines then was NO LIFE for an Engineer like him. So he just keeps taking on bigger and bigger jobs. Until we came to America. And when he finally retired, because his job was his LIFE, he was kinda depressed. He would not show it to us but he was depressed.
The kids were grown up and he could not relate with us. They said, live your life as if it is your last. Because you will never know what will happen next. Even though just once a week with family time it is better than working straight 7 days a week. Anyway, thanks so much for sharing the wonderful story and the good moral lesson.
Angela
Hi Angela,
Glad you could relate to the story, and yes, most fathers are the kinds who work hard for a living. They want to give all the comforts of the world to their kids and family, though don’t realize the time they miss out spending with them. I’m sure you must’ve seen the same with your dad.
When those who have worked hard for so long suddenly stop working and retire, it does depress them and that’s very normal too. I guess they are all of a sudden not doing anything as compared to so much they were doing earlier. But it does help if they pick up another less taxing job or work, or even take up some hobby and get involved in some social work – just about anything to keep them busy. My dad underwent the same phase, and after losing my mom it was all the more bad, though he came out of it soon because he joined some other place.
It often happens that the parent realize the fact of not being able to spend time with their kids rather late, or when their kids have grown up and have no time for them. They miss out on the growing years of their children and not being able to spend that time together with them and their family. Life isn’t easy for them either, though I hope no one ends up like the father in the story – that would be very sad indeed.
Thanks for stopping by.:)
Wow…that is a sad one, I can imagine how the family would have felt after all the hardwork he had put into it and couldnt enjoy all the luxuries.
It is a wonderful lesson to everyone of us to make your days memorable by sharing with your loved ones and being there for them during all times. It doesnt mean that we should not work, but it is all how one balances work and life in a proper proportion.
Thanks for sharing this.
Hi Praveen,
Yes, though it’s a sad one, but it surely does teach a lesson in turn I hope. The family is the one who suffers before, and even after the father left, though even the father spent his whole life making sure his family lived in comfort. However, eventually, they all longed to be together and spend time with each other, which they couldn’t.
Absolutely! Spending time with your loved ones doesn’t mean you stop working and sit home with them because you DO need to earn for a living. It just means that you learn to balance out your time and set your priorities right by making sure you are there for your loved ones for some part of the day, and I don’t think that’s asking for much – is it?
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
Yeah.. so many times men think if they are a good provider financially, they are doing their part.
We appreciate and respect our men who stand strong for us in this area.
But a family is so much more than that.
Nothing is sexier than a man who cherishes his wife, and shows how much he loves his kids with his time.
~ darlene 🙂
Welcome to the blog Darlene – nice to have you over!
Absolutely! A lot of men feel that their roles are limited to being the financial provider, and nothing more. They fail to forget how important it is for the father, just as it is for the mother, to spend time with the family and kids. Coming to think of it, just as I was telling someone earlier, what if even the mother was working and thought her role to be limited to that of a provider – what would happen to the poor kids?
Ah…I agree with your last line there! I wish more men would realize this simple fact, and be there for their kids and family. Yes, they do have to provide for the family too, but not to such an extent that they land up being like the father in the story – isn’t it? Balancing things out is the key. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
Hello Harleena,
The story you said holds a lot of deep meaning. Time is precious, time is a gift and the ability to use it well determine your mind set. Time is never our friend that’s why it is good to spend every last moment as if it’s your end. I have a boy and I try as much to spend much time with me because the best thing you’ll do your child is to give them the best attention they need.
Thanks for this wonderful post and do have a gracious week ahead…
Hi Babanature,
Glad you liked the story, and yes, it does have a lot of meaning. 🙂
I agree, time is a gift that we need to give to our loved ones, and this is much more valuable than any other gift money can buy. I like your line – spend every last moment as it it’s your end…in fact spend every moment thinking it’s your last. I too truly believe in the same, though we tend to get carried away when we think about the past or the future and not really live in the present.
Nice to know about your son, and I’m glad you are a devoted and loving father. I’m sure he would be loving the time you spend with him too. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views. Have a nice week ahead as well. 🙂
Hi Harleena
Such a good story to remember when we don’t take the time to connect with family. We can never retrieve those moments lost. My brother whom I am very close to, but not physically. He had a seizure a week ago Sunday and was hospitalized for a good portion of the day. About 6 hours after it happened I talked to him on the phone and we had a good conversation. I called him yesterday and that day was blank for him, he was told he had talked to me and others, but doesn’t remember. He is getting better but it is the harsh reality of that one day he might not be there anymore. I will call him again next week and there will not be so much time between my calls to him, even if I have nothing important to say, except I miss you.
Thanks for the reminder of how precious time is.
Mary
Hi Mary,
I loved the story too when I had read it long back, though this was just a shorter version of the long one I’d read. I guess something that strikes you at that very moment, generally stays with your forever – isn’t it?
Hope your brother is feeling better now, and I can understand how you must be feeling. Such things happen and if we think that something worse could have happened, we tend to value the person and those precious missed out moments all the more. I guess after a seizure people tend to forget a little, though it depends on the severity of the seizure. I agree, keep calling him more often even if you don’t have anything much to say, and he would take time, but I’m sure he would soon start remembering things.
Time truly waits for no one, and if we don’t take action now, things might get just too late. Wishing him quick recovery too. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with all of us. 🙂
Wow…this is the story of me. Before I started working from home my first good paying job was as a service rep and I promised myself I would be a manager and grow with this company.
Through hard work and long hours I managed to be an administrative sales manager within three years of working for the company and unfortunately it was at my family’s expense.
For a long time I thought it was the material things my kids wanted and I thought I could supplement my time with those things. But that’s not what they wanted. In a discussion with my daughter she opened my eyes when she told me she doesn’t see me anymore. And this was true. I was gone by the time they got up for school and they were in bed by the time I got home.
We made some major changes and took some steps back but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Working from home has let me spend more times with my kids and now they are thriving in school and everything is the way it should be.
I hope the hard-working parents will read and realize the importance of family time. As always a wonderful post Harleena!
Hi Corina,
Is it so? I’m so glad you could connect so well with it. 🙂
Nice to know more about you and all that you underwent. I agree, we need reminders at time to show us the right direction we need to take. In your case, your kids were the ones who opened your eyes, which made you change your way of working.
I understand you, like most of us too, were wanting to give your kids a comfortable and happy life, which we think materialistic things can buy but that isn’t the case. Our kids value our time more than anything else, they need us – not as much of the other things we provide for them. And most of the time we don’t realize it, but we tend to get carried away in our work flow only to realize of the lost time much later in life – just as the father in the story.
I guess taking a few steps back, or earning a little less is any day more welcomed and sensible as a wise step taken, which would only help us bond better with our family – isn’t it? I too am glad to be working from home, though always keep feeling I need to spend more time with them, so this post is a reminder for me too. 🙂
Thanks for sharing your valuable life’s lesson with all of us. 🙂
Very nice story. Loved it. You are very correct. Don’t wait for tomorrow because tomorrow never comes in this way. Just start doing from today 🙂
Glad you liked the story Atish 🙂
Absolutely! Who has seen tomorrow – we need to live in the NOW – the present, and make each moment worthwhile – isn’t it? Had the father thought of this simple fact, he would have somehow balanced out things and spent time with his loved ones too.
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
I agree with all the points.
But,see it from Father’s point of view.He wants best for his family for years to come,wants to secure them.
He also is running around keeping his professional graph in right angles and increasing.
Most,of the time man is fighting with himself to keep balancing between both.
Hi BK,
Glad you agree with the story. 🙂
Yes, the father wanted the best for his kids and family, and that was his sole aim of earning money because he wanted to give them all the comforts money could buy. It wasn’t easy for him either because he too wanted to be with his family, but as you rightly mentioned, he was fighting within to maintain that right balance, which he wasn’t able to, or perhaps when he finally thought of it – but it was too late. Hope people realize to balance out their career and family life well in time. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
I always try to make time for my family. This year I’ve stopped working late. If anything is going to be on my lap in the evenings, it’s one of my kids NOT my lap top. The kids appreciate it and so does my husband.
I also try to remember to put down my laptop and look up when my kids speak to me. I used to type and listen to them. I don’t do that any more. I stop and pay attention. I want to be there for them. They don’t last long as kids. They soon become adults.
Hi Anne,
I know you too are like me there and try your best to make time for your family. I like your idea of not working late, and this too is something I need to do really soon, though my kids are past the age to sit on my lap, but they do need my attention nevertheless. I agree, kids and our hubby’s want this too. I surely wouldn’t like to end up like the father myself!
You are so very right there – we need to stop and listen to what they are saying, and just be there for them when they need us. This is all the time we really have with them, so why not make it worthwhile.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your wisdom with us. 🙂
Hi Harleena,
Many thanks for writing this post. The message had to given to people out there, including myself.
As a part of my public speaking groups, I’ve spoken to two of my friends who are elderly gentleman. Both of them were very successful business men when they used to work. However, both told me that now having reached the age they have, the one thing they regret is not spending enough time with their families.
I used to be really ambitious. However, since I started meditating I’m not as ambitious anymore. I’m glad in a way, else I could end up like the father in the story one day. I still want to suceeed in business. However, I have a clear end goal where I’ll be comfortable and after this I don’t want to keep on trying to progress just for the sake of it.
Hi Hiten,
You are more than welcome 🙂 Yes, it was just my little way to make people realize that money isn’t really everything, and just wish no one ends up like the father in the story, and is there for their loved ones while they are still around.
Nice to know that I’m not wrong then, as even the elders you spoke to felt the same way after so many years of being in a busy business world. However, the sad part remains that when you are young and full of energy, you don’t realize this fact and remain in the flow of making money. But it’s often with age when you slow down and see your kids, who are no longer with you, do you realize about the mistakes you’ve made. It saddens me, but I see a lot of this around me too.
Ah…don’t worry, you’ll never end up like the father here because you are very well-balanced and have your priorities set right, and I think you work with a focused aim and goal. Whenever you do get married, your wife and kids would indeed be very lucky as you would make the time to be with them. I guess you realized things well in time, and yes meditation and yoga are known to help calm and slow you down.
Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. 🙂 Always nice to have you over. 🙂
I love watching my daughter with her son. She is a single mom and works full time, but when she is with her son, she is fully there, fully engaged. I wish I had been more like her when I was a new mom.
Hi Galen,
That’s wonderful indeed! I’m sure your daughter learnt the work-life-family balance from you.:) Being a single mom and working full time isn’t easy, though it’s nice if she can devote time and be with her son when she is with him. Quality time matters. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
Great story Harleena. Web do need to get our priorities in line because many times as men we have been told it is more important to provide shelter than to provide emotional support.
I am glad you are bringing this to light. Men have too long misunderstood what a man’s role is. Many women are having to work outside the home and making it even harder for kids to understand the lessons they need in life.
My nephew is what is commonly referred to as a latch key kid. I really hate this, because he is having to grow up too quickly.
Hi Michael,
Nice to know that you liked the story. 🙂
You are so right – men are generally told to provide for the family more than provide emotional support, and yes, that’s the way they are raised mostly. However, they too are people full of emotions though few really are able to express it openly.
When you are a part of a family, your role as a man isn’t just limited to earning for which you stay out all day long, as even a woman can do that now. So, what happens to the poor kids then? As a family, its the responsibility of both parents to raise their kids and be with them – no matter what. Yes, times are busy and things aren’t easy either, but however we may, we HAVE to manage our time in such a way that we spend a little time with our loved ones – every single day.
While I feel sorry for your nephew, but the answer too lies in the hands of those parents who realize the fact before it gets too late. After all, our kids are with us for a limited time period. So, why not give them the greatest gift – the gift of our time that they will remember more than anything else.
Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post. 🙂
Hey Harleena,
Liked the story of a father who had no time for their family. Money isn’t the thing which brings happiness in a family, It’s not everything. Being a good father doesn’t mean that you should work all day to earn money to be able to live a happy life, that’s obviously a wrong thinking. No matter how busy your schedule is, you must spend time with your family.
Thanks for sharing the story Harleena, I’ll let my father know about this one 😀
Hi Ehsan,
Glad you liked the story with a lesson in it. I just thought of sharing it to make people realize how short life is, and just like the father – they shouldn’t get late in reaching out and connecting with their loved ones. 🙂
I agree, money isn’t everything, though we all do need some of it. But once you have enough, why run after more? This is something most people don’t realize and the run for money carries on all through their lives. And it’s mostly the family and kids who suffer when their parents remain busy working. We don’t actually realize that we are with our kids for a very short time after which they would leave and find their own jobs and homes, which I’m sure you would realize having reached that stage, if you too are living away from your parents – isn’t it? So, NOW is all the time we really have to be with each other.
Thanks for stopping by, and I hope your father likes the story too. 🙂
I am going to answer your last question: Money is not everything. If money destroys happiness, love, affection then no need this useless money. In a family, father or mother should income according to their need. A father has the duty also to give time to family. It is the basic norm of a family. A good relation among family members bring happy & successful family
Hi Ahsan,
Yes indeed, money is not the start and end of all things, though yes, we all need a little of it to live. Too much of money is known to destroy happiness, peace of mind, and lessens the love and bonding you have with your loved ones because you remain busy working to make more money and don’t spend time with each other, which affects relationships.
Times are tough, and often both parents need to work to support their family, and while that’s alright, but it’s certainly no excuse that either of them shouldn’t spend time – like the father in the story – isn’t it? Sadly, the realization comes when it gets late. Hope more people realize this fact through this post.
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
You know lives are so hard that people have to work longer and harder to meet their needs not just in India but all over the world. The world is not doing well financially hence many fathers and even mothers have to do extra hours to meet the demands of the family.
But family is an asset and that is how it should be looked it. Hence neglecting them is not an option. No matter how busy lives are, I believe that having at least one dinner with the whole family is a must to talk and discuss and meet everyone.
Money cannot be everything, its just something that you need.
Good story Harleena.
Absolutely Shalu!
Life isn’t easy where both parents have to work to make ends meet and raise a family alongside, and as you mentioned, this is the case all over the world. Those of us who have some kind of help at home, or if we have our parents or in-laws living with us – it’s a boon as they can take care of the kids if we are away working, though of course when they are free and willing themselves. Or else, the kids are often left in creches or day-care, which is something I just don’t like, yet again, working parents have no resort if they have kids.
There is no question of neglecting your family, even if you have a full time job or are too busy. Family is always priority and should be, after all it’s for them you earn – isn’t it? I agree, the least we can do is have one meal together so that each one can share about how the day went with one another. Money always comes secondary to family, and very little is actually needed to make a happy life. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views. 🙂
Hi Harleena,
Whoops… I’m late here 🙂 You know, had to be offline due to driving test dear.
“Sadly, the father did not wake up the next day.” ~ That’s really really a sad moment. I thought the story would end like he understands the value of being with family and start spending more time after all.
Mmm… I can relate to that, not completely though 🙂 My mother is always at home but not father. We don’t complain to him for not being at home, but wish if we all were much more friendlier and closer than we are. As Bruce said, quality time. Yet I hope for that day in future. Yes, hope is what I have right now 🙂
Working from home is one of my goals that will lead to spend more time with family Harleena 🙂 I know, just being at home is not enough as you implied. Personally, I believe I can offer more than enough love for my family. It’s just in me. I need to teach that to my kids, and they will follow on and their kids too 🙂
I believe I can show that beyond my family and help more children in need of love. Eventhough they don’t get enough love, they can build their life and teach power of love to their kids too, no? 🙂 Will see.
Cheers…
You are never late here Mayura, and always welcome anytime 🙂
Yes, though the story ended differently from what we would imagine – this is also the reality of life – isn’t it? The father keeps working all day and night to provide all the comforts for his family, and when he finally realizes that it’s time to spend time with them too, it gets too late. Time truly waits for no one…
Most moms are always home, though the fathers have to go out for work, but nowadays things are changing and both parents have to often leave home for work due to various reasons again. Nice to know your mom was always home and you had someone with you in your growing years. I know you miss the closeness with your father as you’ve mentioned in earlier posts, and I too wish you were a little friendlier with each other. Perhaps with time things get better as people change too. I’ve seen it with many elder people in my family and they have become different people with age as compared to what they were earlier.
Absolutely! When you are working from home, you are your own boss and time is all in your hand. So, knowing you, I know you will chalk out things in such a way that you devote time for your kids and family, and also work for your success. A perfect blend between both is what we all need to do.
We all know your helping nature, and as it’s in you, it’s bound to show in others when you help them too, whether they are kids and the love you shower them with, or even through your wonderful blog.
Thanks for stopping by, and adding more value to the post.
Ok, let’s try again. I can’t ever post on the first shot.
That’s a great story, Harleena, and a great lesson for any parent.
You know even though I do not have kids I really feel for those who have children that they need to bring to the day care everyday for 9 to 10 hours a day. I would simply hate it and frankly, I’d rather have no children rather then having to do this.
I really mean it, but hey, that’s just me talking. Obviously most parents don’t see it that way. As for me, if I had to spend most of my waking hours away from my kids it would make me sick.
I so agree with this story, Harleena. Thank you for sharing it.
Hi Sylviane,
Sorry to hear that you are having problems posting here the first time, though no one else came up with this problem earlier. I will however, check with my settings and see if everything is alright.
Glad you liked the story and the lesson within it, and yes, it is for any parent but also for any child who doesn’t spend time with his or her parent – for whatever reasons. It’s just to make people realize that they need to take out the time to spend with their loved ones, because tomorrow is never guaranteed to anyone – isn’t it?
I totally agree with you about day care. We too have parents our end who drop their kids to the day care center because both are working out of their homes. However, this has gained momentum more in the metros and is still less in the cities and towns. But the whole concept is so very wrong when parents leave their small kids like this, and yes, in such a case they shouldn’t have kids only. Or then have kids when either of them have the time to look after them – after all they are YOUR kids and not to be left at someones place to be taken care of.
Most parents as I see it are tied down to work for a living, and while it’s understandable that is part of life, but then it’s the kids who suffer. Luckily, in most houses the grandparents take care of these kids with additional help at home, at our end, so the day care is an option where this doesn’t work out. But again, this is only in certain places where grandparents are ready to help and stay with their children.
Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. 🙂
What a sad story, but with a very important moral. Well said, Harleena!
A successful life is all about balance and nobody, on their deathbed, EVER said “I should have spent more time working”. I used to be a workaholic myself and although we don’t have children, our relationship was not given the attention it deserved, but thankfully, it survived.
This reminds me of the song, “Cat’s in the Cradle”
Hi Debbie,
The story is sad, but it does teach a lesson to each one of us – isn’t it? Yes indeed, a happy and successful like IS about how we strike the right balance and set our proprieties right so that nothing suffers, and we are left with no regrets later in life.
I can understand what you said about being a workaholic and how the relationship suffers, something that happens with me and my hubby too, but like you, we too stop wherever things reach too far, or else it starts affecting the relationship. That’s a nice song too. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views. 🙂
Harleena,
Spot on. Having grown up on a farm, both of my parents were always around. We worked, played, laughed, ate meals, went to church…. there was a lot we did together. Rural areas and farm work enables such a family life, and it is one that only a small percentage experience today.
Harder to do than any farm work is being a good father, mother, parent…. and we cannot wait. We need to do the best when we all the time we can.
Thanks!
Jon
Hi Jon,
That’s lovely! You are so right, there can be nothing better than having your parents around you all the time, and you reminded me of those children who grow up in farms with the beautiful natural surroundings. They do bond and connect better with their family, and do everything together,just as you mentioned.
There are less of distractions, and at least in the farm areas that are a little far from the main city, don’t even have the Internet or television coming through all of the time, nor the cell phones – yet they live such blissful lives. 🙂 Sadly, such areas have lessened with the development of cities and technology, and life has indeed become more complicated than ever.
I agree, parenting is hard work and requires our undivided attention, and we really don’t need to wait for the right moment to get started – isn’t it? It’s an ongoing process that really never ends, even after our kids grow up and leave our home.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences. Happy weekend as well. 🙂
HI Harleena Di,
Awesome!
Firstly Apologies for being late on the post, I’m struggling with the internet speed for the last 3-4 days.
Coming on to the post, I really feel our family deserve our undivided attention, since I’m more oriented towards family and relations, I believe and spend quality time with my family members and friends. I always tell everyone around that we need to live every moment of life, don’t waste that planning for bigger and better things because we never know what life has in store for us in next second.
This was the exact reason why I left the job and decided to be off the hamster wheel.
I have seen a close friend of mine running after the money, she is so busy these days that her family members can only meet her with prior appointment, though never heard of this in India but these are the things which are common these days.
I guess these type of people need to change for the betterment of their family, I don’t know but really time only can teach them.
Thanks for this awesome share Di, have a great weekend.
Sapna
Hi Sapna,
Don’t worry about coming over late – we all undergo problems sometime or the other, and the Internet connection is such a common one. 🙂
You are absolutely right – and this is all the more important for mothers, though fathers also need to be around their family and kids and make it a point to spend time with them – no matter what. We only have our family, especially our kids for a short time with us before they grow up and find their own jobs and work, so it makes sense to spend these moments of togetherness with them – for them. Anything you plan or work for that takes you away from your family, might or might not work because you can never really tell what tomorrow has in store for you – the time is NOW to reach out and connect if you haven’t already.
I guess most of us left our jobs for the very same reason – to be with our kids and family and work from home instead. Gosh! Take an appointment to meet her family members, must make her a rather busy woman! But this is what working for money does to us eventually, if we allow it to reach such an extent. Yes, time is the best teacher in such cases, but mostly, like the father in the story – it becomes too late when realization strikes us – isn’t it? I wish more people would understand this simple fact, and be there for their loved ones while they are still around, and this very much includes our parents too.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with all of us. Happy weekend as well. 🙂
Wow Harleena!
You really got me on the end there! But this is a fine illustration of what people get stuck on doing with their lives. Bigger and Better! Well, it is usually not the case.
I just had a phone conversation today with a mom of a one year old and planning her next child. Her husband just lost his job and she was beside herself. He told her to go out to work again because she could make double the money than him. No Way!
It was decided before marriage that she would stay home while raising a family and do some work from home…not to commute and spend long hours away from her children.
Although she is in the middle of turmoil as I write this, she is going to stick to her guns because it is imperative that she stays home with her baby at least for his formative years (birth till 5).
This is one example of how important it is for a child. I did explain to just downsize and give up her expensive home. For the child does not see the luxury home, but rather enjoys his Mama there for nursing and taking care of his needs.
Am I writing a book? OK I’ll stop here but it is a passion of mine when I relate to this subject. Life is short and we don’t know what’s around the corner. We need to put our children’s lives first, then work around it. They need their parents more than a bigger home!
Donna
Hi Donna,
Nice to know that you liked the story and could relate so well to it. 🙂
I agree, most of us are stuck in our lives, just as the father was in the story – earn money till you can do no more, and you lose those precious moments that you could’ve spend with your family and kids.
Thanks for sharing the phone conversation you had with a mom. It’s amazing to hear how could her husband want her to go out and work, especially when they had earlier decided that she would work from home, perhaps because they thought the importance of one parent being home so as to be with the kids. And not to mention that she has such a small child to take care of! More so, even after that – I feel either of the parents need to stay with the child in their formative years, and for kids as you mentioned, their mothers are needed till they grow up a little. I’m glad she didn’t change her mind.
Yes, she could have left the baby and gone to make money, but what about the child? And am sure they had enough to sustain for a few days till they came up with something. Your suggestion to downsize their home was apt, and yes, as the child is small as yet, he or she doesn’t realize what’s happening. But they surely knows when mama is away, or that all of a sudden they have to stay with papa, and they take time getting used to a parent who they otherwise don’t see all through the day.
Lol…you are absolutely free to carry on Donna – don’t worry, I too was lost in your comment and enjoyed you sharing this example with me. I guess that’s the best part of blogging – how we share things with each other – isn’t it? You said it right there – we need to put our children’s lives first, then work around it – so very true. I wish more parents would realize this simple fact and BE THERE for their kids – this is the only time they have with them before they grow up and leave, just as Bruce mentioned too. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your wisdom with all of us. 🙂
Harleena, this is an eye opener for many people. here in the USA, people do give more importance on the big house, 2 or 3 cars than they do there families.
When I was a single parent, we did go without somethings, because I chose to work in sales, so I could work around my girls. If I had gotten a different job most likely I would have made more money, but I figured with only one parent they were better off with less stuff and more of me.
Time does fly by and we can not get it back. When we have those priorities strong everyone is happier in the family.
Thank you for reminding everyone that stuff is not as important as spend time with loved ones. This poor family will remember dad as working all the time, and not have memories of him doing fun things with them.
Debbie
Hi Debbie,
Glad you could relate so well to the post. It’s not just the people in the US, but it’s happening all over I think that parents are busy making money for their kids and families. While a lot of it is alright, but that is no reason whatsoever I feel that their families or children should be neglected – isn’t it? It’s just like the state of the father in the story – he just kept working till he could no more. And whom did it benefit in the end? No one…
You did a very wise thing to choose a job so that you could be close to your kids, which is all the more important if you are a single parent. Yes, money should come secondary where spending time with our kids is concerned. It was for the very same reason that I too left my full time job- so that I could be more with my kids, while they are with me.
We are the ones who have to make the choices in the end, and set our priorities whether we want to earn more or spend time with our loved ones, though I feel a balance between the two works well. You are so right…the family will have memories of a hard-working father, but no memories left of the time he spent with them, which would be sad.
Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom with all of us.:)
Awesome work done by the you in this post.
Such a nice story. Mostly, it happens in families. Our parents remain busy in making more money to make us happy and we think they don’t care for us..
Welcome to the blog Ninika!
Glad you liked the story. Yes indeed, the case in most families is that the parents remain busy in collecting happiness in way of money for their kids and family, but miss out on the precious moments of being with their loved ones. The realization often comes when it’s too late.
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
My very first column was about the MYTH of “Quality Time.” There is ONLY one kind of time that kids understand and that is QUANTITY time. Life is short – it’s even shorter with our kids. If all does go well, they will leave. Then what? Visits occasionally? If you don’t take the time NOW, it may not be there later.
I can say I have NO REGRETS in this department – but I was also (financially) lucky. The same is true for our aging parents. Do for them WHILE THEY CAN STILL “Do!”
Welcome to the blog Bruce – nice to have you over 🙂
Ah…yes…kids would love to have quantity and quality time – both if possible. However, I think where both parents are working, it’s the little quality time they need to give their kids – isn’t it? How and when – parents need to decide on that. 🙂
I agree, life is short and with kids we ARE tied up all the time – it’s surely not easy, though parenting is enjoyable too. Most kids do grow up, and as soon as they are in colleges or a little later, they leave, find jobs, and eventually settle down – such is life. They get busy in their lives, have their own families and kids, and their visits lessen. So, just as I keep telling my hubby too, the time to be with them is NOW – this is all of it we have.
Nice to know you have no regrets and that must be giving a very good feeling too. But such is not the case with many parents who are struggling to make a living or aren’t that well off. Nevertheless, taking out time for your loved ones is priority I feel. I agree, even with our parents – just be with them while they are here, for you can never tell when it gets too late. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. 🙂
I was blessed on so many levels. But, we have our kids for such a short time, I think many parents COULD prioritize more time with them and give up some of the “things” that extra work brings in!
That’s wonderful indeed Bruce 🙂
I guess being blessed and believing in it is more than half the battle won. You are absolutely right there – kids ARE with us for a very short time, and we as parents need to do whatever we can to spend maximum time with them. How we do that or what we take as priority is what would make a huge difference, and this would help everyone bond better as a family too. 🙂
Thanks once again. 🙂
That’s really sad story..
What will the family do without the father having all the money .. 🙁
Hi Dhruv,
That’s exactly the point! what will the family do when the father is no more? What’s the use of such money and all the riches? Even the father couldn’t spend time with his own family, even though he wanted to – isn’t it? The story is sad, but hope it sends out a strong message 🙂
Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Yeah, unfortunately this is the stark reality of life.. Working father is a drama. I’m the kid who always heard Dad is working… And that’s not nice. I’m planning to have kids only when I seriously realize that I will have enough time to spend with my child! Thanks for the post. Makes me think about life…
Hi Evan,
Yes indeed, having no time for their children is the reality in most of the cases, just as they story about the father above. However, such is the case even if it’s a working mother or any of us who don’t have time for our parents – isn’t it? You are not alone, because in most homes it is the father who works or isn’t around his kids, while the mother is home, or she’s around the kids more than the father.
That’s nice if you can relate to the post and plan things in such a way that you make sure to have enough time to spend with your child, whenever the time comes. I’m sure your kids would love your time with them. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂