Every parent as an individual is different and has a unique parenting style. With so many parenting styles adopted by all parents, it’s hard to decide which the best one is.
I think it would not be right to declare any one parenting style as the best. However, certainly some of them are effective and some not.
Before labeling any parenting style as good or bad, we should first know what we ideally expect from it in general.
What can parenting styles do
A parenting style is a collection of strategies and techniques that a parent uses to raise his or her child.
Most parents expect their parenting style to help the child to:
- be successful and have a good life
- become responsible and mature with age
- have self-control, ability and positivity
- become self-confident and have a great self-esteem
Some parents also prefer their parenting style to develop their child as:
- obedient and useful
- socially responsive and torch-bearer of family traditions and values
Whereas, I think a parenting style is effective if besides the above mentioned it also helps the child to:
- become a good human being
- have a passion and purpose of life
- be happy and have self-respect
- have courage and be strong to face the world
Can one parenting style fulfill all these aspirations of all parents?
No. More so, the parenting styles differ depending on the people, places, circumstances, and other reasons.
But it all comes down to whether the parenting style works for you or not. If it does, it’s good for you, and if it doesn’t, then it’s bad.
Right?
Well, I think something is missing. It’s not only about you – the parent. The parenting style cannot be termed effective until it works for the child too.
This is where the differences crop in. The various parenting styles differ according to the degree of the child’s involvement and the parent’s strictness and its combination in the parenting process.
Types of Parenting Styles
In 1966, Diana Baumrind came out with prototypical descriptions of 3 parenting styles. They are – authoritative parenting, authoritarian parenting, and permissive parenting.
As the name suggests, in permissive parenting the parent is most lenient, democratic, and avoids the exercise of control. The parent more or less accepts the desires and actions of the child, being non-punitive.
This parenting style generally leads to rebellious and defiant children if their demands are not met, have low persistence to challenging tasks, and are attracted towards antisocial behaviors.
In authoritarian parenting, the parent uses force and punishments to shape and control the child. The parent wants the child to accept and do what is told.
This parenting style leads to children who are unhappy, withdrawn, and anxious. The boys may become hostile while the girls are likely to give up.
In authoritative parenting, the parent deals and directs the child using dialogue, reason, and explanations. The parent takes a balanced approach.
This parenting style leads to lively, happy, and self-confident children who’ve developed emotions and social skills.
With time, people have classified more parenting styles like the instinctive parenting, where the parents are likely to teach what they’ve undergone or learned in their own upbringing.
In attachment parenting the parent tries to form a strong emotional bond with the child. They respond promptly to their child’s needs, avoid punishments and are very sensitive.
Helicopter parenting is where parent hover around the child and constantly interact with them, often interfering in their lives. Too much of this parenting style can make the children too dependent on the parents.
There’s yet another parenting style known as uninvolved parenting, where the parents only fulfill the child’s basic needs and stay detached from their life.
It is, however, possible that in a two-parent household, both parents may adopt different parenting styles, and the resultant effectiveness depends on how much the parents coöperate among themselves.
There were and are many more parenting style and they vary because of differences in personality of parents, culture, socioeconomic status, religion, and educational level.
You can read more in detail about the parenting styles here, and for a self-assessment test of your parenting style click here.
Over to you –
Which parenting style do you use? Does it work? Did your parents use an effective parenting style to raise you? Which among the above you find as the best parenting style and the most effective one, and why?
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