My Father My Pride

Hope all of you enjoyed your holidays and had a wonderful New Year. Now that we are finally…
My Father

Hope all of you enjoyed your holidays and had a wonderful New Year. Now that we are finally in 2012, I am back with my writing after my short break with my wonderful dad, just as I had mentioned in my last post about my wish list and resolutions!

It was indeed a pleasure to have my father visit us for New Years as it always is, and today’s post is all about my father, who really is my pride- and everything that I have learnt from him. In fact, it would be apt if I call this post as “Lessons from my father.”

I have often noticed that people write about their loved ones or parents after their demise or after having lost them. But I wanted my dad to know how I felt about him and what he means to me, not after he is gone- instead right now- in the present.

“Any man can be a father.  It takes someone special to be a dad.”  ~Author Unknown

Brief Introduction

My father’s name is Maj. Gen. (Dr.) Kulwant. Singh, UYSM (Uttam Yudh Sewa Medal) and he retired from the Indian Army after having won many accolades. Not to mention having fought the two Indo-Pak wars in 1965 and 1971, and having led the IPKF in Sri Lanka.

He tackled terrorism and insurgency in and out of the country, by playing a major part in planning and execution at higher levels, and received one of the highest gallantry awards of India for his services.

Having our father in the army at such a high ranking post was always a privilege my sister and I enjoyed when we were kids, and it was always an honor to be known as his daughter. We cherished living in lavish houses, travelling in the best of vehicles, having the best of facilities, and lots of working staff at home.

My father was born on 10th September 1939 in Khomari that is now a part of Pakistan, but after India’s partition in 1947, my grandfather, who was also in the army, decided to shift to India. Theirs was a large family of many brothers and sisters, so I was indeed blessed to have many aunts, uncles, and cousins.

It was after my father’s retirement that my mother passed away fighting cancer, which was indeed heart-breaking for my father- as they were a much-in-love couple and truly made for each other.

After his retirement from the army and the loss of my mother, my father was destined to join the Maharishi University as their Vice Chancellor. His global appointments with the Maharishi World Organization include being the Defense Minister of Global Country of World Peace, and the Director General of Invincible Defense.

In brief, for me a dad is someone who

  • is a daughter’s first love
  • will be there for you no matter how bad a mistake you’ve made
  • will stand up for you when you need him
  • will give you their hugs and shoulders to cry on
  • promises you that you will always be his little girl
  • walks you down the aisle and tells you everything is gonna be Ok!
  • loves you so much and will sacrifice whatever it is to make you happy again

I hope you won’t mind the length of today’s post, as there is a lot that I have learnt from my father that I want to share with everyone!

1- Discipline

This comes naturally to us as being born and brought up in an army background; everything has to be on time! Self-discipline is so important for everyone and something that my dad truly believes in.

He has always been a disciplined man where his daily routine is concerned. I remember when he was in the army; there was never a single day I had seen him stay at home or leave late for work. Even now when he is nearly 75, he never misses his timely schedule of walking, exercising, playing golf, meditating, praying, reading, being with all of us, and going out for other work.

I am indeed proud to follow in his footsteps where discipline is concerned, and try my best to instill this important value in my kids as well.

2- Sharing and caring

I have a younger sister who is also an accomplished author, having just finished her first novel. So, being just two sisters- we did have our share of fights, ups-and-downs, the good and bad times. But our parents always taught us to share things and care for each other- no matter what.

For us, charity always began from home and the joy of giving was something that I picked up from my parents. My father is very liberal and donates so much to various institutions, to the under privileged, and gives without hesitation or second thoughts to the poor.

My father always taught me to learn to give, care for people and share a part of what you have with others. This is a very important lesson passed on to my kids, as I also have two daughters- and it all comes back to what I had learnt from my father long back.


3- Far sighted and wise

My father has always been very wise and thought well ahead of time, catered for things, and been well prepared for any kind of emergencies in life. Though we keep telling him to refrain from thinking much, or getting tensed, but old habits die hard!

Of course, there are times when everything we want and plan cannot be accomplished, but he has that wisdom and far-sightedness which is something I learnt from him as well.

To think wisely and in advance, plan things out, think ahead of time, cater for rough times, and be prepared at all times are some of the things I learnt from him.

4- Positive attitude

My father has gone through a lot in his career, where there were ups and downs, good times and rough patches as well. But he always overcame all of them with a smiling face, and accepting things as His grace.

The loss of my mother was the worst thing that could have hit him, yet he stood his stand and put up a brave front for us. No matter what he may have been undergoing, he never let us know, nor expressed it openly – instead always had a positive attitude towards life.

The lesson learned was to fight all odds bravely and fearlessly. Learning to smile despite the consequences, learning to accept, adapt, and adjust to situations, and overcoming your sorrows are major things I learnt from him.

5- Alert and responsible

I marvel at his memory, alertness, and responsibility even at this age! My father has always been a very alert, aware, responsible father and person. I remember the time when we were kids and if there was anything that needed attention, there was immediate action taken with no further delay.

He has been a doting and adorable father. Whenever there have been low moments in our lives, we have always turned to him for guidance and help. And he has always been there for us like our pillar of strength, without knowing how much he motivates, inspires, and gives us.

I have learnt from my father to be more aware, alert, responsible, and a good parent. Of course my mother played a great role, but I speak of my dad who has been with us much longer than my mother.

6- Love

There has never been any shortage of love in our family, as there was abundance of it right from the time I remember. I recollect the time when I was just a baby- right up to now- my parents have always showered us with unconditional love and blessings right through.

My father and mother were best of friends and well known as a made-for-each-other couple, and lived up to it right till the time my mother passed away. I have seen their love for each other always grow stronger each passing day.

I remember the time when my mother was ailing and how my father tried his very best to do all he could to fight the cancer. He even went to the extent of learning Reiki and trying out various other means, just with the hope that something would work for her. It never did, but that was a lesson in disguise for us.

It is a well known fact that when you have so much love within you, it shows in all forms. Similarly, I have seen my father’s love for other people, the poor and underprivileged, and even our pets (we had pigeons, rabbits, fishes, and dogs when we were young!)

I learnt to love by seeing my parents love for each other, learnt to care for the poor and underprivileged, and of course my pet dog is a bundle of joy for our family.

7- Health and fitness

As far as I can remember I have always seen my dad participating in various sports, like golf that he plays daily without fail, and he has been a National level champion swimmer during his younger days. He is very regular with his walks, exercises, yoga, meditation, and other activities.

He is very concerned where his health and fitness is concerned, which is the reason he remains so active and fit even at this age!

My father always eats the right kind of food, something he keeps telling us to follow as well. I have always seen a bowl of fresh fruits and salads around him, and he is extra cautious when it comes to eating fried, sugary, or starchy food.

Lesson I have learnt is to eat at the right time, the right kind of food, accompanied with the right amount of exercise. Though I started late in life, but this is surely something I am going to follow and instill in my kids as well.

8- Prayers and faith

Keeping the faith and regular prayers has always been a vital part in our family. We have always had a special prayer room right from the day I remember, and I have seen my parents always praying regularly and never losing their faith in the Almighty.

There were some trying times in my dad’s career, and even when my mother was ailing- I have always seen my father praying and having the belief that everything will turn out well. He always believed that everything that occurs happens for a reason and we accept it as God’s grace.

I have often heard my father narrate how my grandmother prayed day and night when my dad was at war-front with bomb shells all around him. His tank was about to be blown off, but some force saved him. He truly believes it were his mother’s prayers that did the trick, as there was no way he would have survived otherwise.

I have learnt to pray daily in my small pray room, though as long as you pray the place doesn’t matter. And I try hard to not lose the faith and keep believing that everything will be well. Similarly, I try and pass on these values to my kids as well- though they have yet to start their regular prayers, as they have their own way of praying- so they say!

9- Enjoy life and live it to the fullest

The wonderful childhood memories spent with my parents is something I can never get back, nor forget. My father was a great planner of things, and always had a ready chalked out holiday schedule well before our vacations started!

He always believed to live each moment and life it to the fullest by enjoying your present. So, when we had our family holidays, we went visiting so many places that when I sit back and recollect, there is no place uncovered in our country!

There was always happiness in life, enjoyment, fun time, sight-seeing, shopping, partying, and lots of travelling when we went with dad. And all four of us were always ready to go anywhere, and anytime!

Lesson I learnt was to live life to the fullest and live each moment, as we can never say about tomorrow- whether it will be there or not. What exists is the present- the now, so enjoy it!

10- Family comes first

A very important lesson learnt early in life as I saw and lived with my parents was that family always comes first, no matter what the position, post, or work.

My parents have always been there for us kids and knew the importance of family time. Similarly, we are always there for my father now, and there are no ifs and buts about it.

Though my dad was very careful and cautious with his career and reputation, he never let it affect his family life. He always maintained a wonderful balance between work and his family. I guess he learnt the art of time-management very well!

I have learnt to balance work and family time to the best of my abilities, though I still need to work more on this aspect and lessen my work time so that I can spend more time with my family!

Well, I know my list is endless as I can’t really pen down everything my father has taught me within a few lines. But I hope this post will help you in some way to learn a few lessons, especially if you also have as loving a father as I do!

There are so many people I come across who have lost their loved ones and never had the chance to tell them how much they meant to them. So, reach out to your parents or loved ones and tell them how much they mean to you, and do it as soon as possible. Learn to forget and forgive by moving on and connecting.

I want to take this opportunity to express my love for my father by dedicating this post to him, and adding these few lines-

What Is A Dad?

A dad is someone who wants to catch you before you fall but instead picks you up, brushes you off, and lets you try again.

A dad is someone who wants to keep you from making mistakes but instead lets you find your own way, even though his heart breaks in silence when you get hurt.

A dad is someone who holds you when you cry, scolds you when you break the rules, shines with pride when you succeed, and has faith in you even when you fail… ~ Author Unknown

I also want to add that we value and treasure you a great deal dad, and you mean the world to us. Please take care of yourself for us by worrying less, and may God always bless you and give you a long- happy, and content life.

Thank you once again for taking out the time to read this post and, I apologize for the length of this post but I hope it was helpful for some, and that you would make an effort to reach out to your parents as well or remember them fondly if they are no longer with you.

Are there any unspoken words you would like to share about your parents? How do you connect with your father or mother? Share in the comments below.

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  1. Hi Harleena,

    The other day I read the post about your mom and what a lovely tribute you have given her. Now your Dad!

    What an impressive man! His strong relationship with your mother has taught you how to love. His idealistic life taught you many things. And most of all when you described his spirituality…that really hit home for me.

    All my life my mother would wake up and say her prayers. We, as kids knew never to disturb her. Now that she lives with us in her later years of her life, she still does that the first thing in the morning. Even the dogs won’t bother her as she has her prayer book opened.

    Finding out about your family only goes to show how you were brought up and made you the remarkable person you are.


  2. Very nice read indeed Harleena!

    I particularly like the part that you mentioned about acknowledging people while they are alive rather than when they are no more around.
    I do not know your father personally, but he is on my FB friend’s list. I guess we had a lot of like minded friends in common and so I sent him a friend request 🙂

    Also, I am very drawn to the way of life in the armed forces, my own dad having been in the army for a short while and then serving in the BSF for 30 odd years till his retirement.

    Good luck to you and your family!

    1. Welcome to the blog Sunder!

      Glad you liked the post, and yes, I truly do believe in letting the people you care about know about it during their lifetime or when they are still around. Later, we are just left with the guilt or feeling of not having been able to communicate our feelings to them.

      Nice to know that my dad is on your friends list- that’s wonderful! And he is very liberal when it comes to accepting friends request 🙂

      I guess we share common interests where the armed forced are concerned! Perhaps our dads know each other! BSF is indeed wonderful, as we have a few common friends and it’s been wonderful going go their locations on vacations.

      Thanks for stopping-by and sharing your experiences with everyone 🙂

  3. Harleena, I really enjoyed this beautiful tribute to your father!

    What an important reminder that we should show our love as thoroughly as possible now and not later. Your father is such an accomplished and loving man, so I really appreciated the opportunity to learn from him as you and your sister have.

    Discipline and consistency is something lacking in my life. I’ve always been fascinated by the military regimen and the discipline that comes out of it. I can definitely see how it can be a benefit to us in our daily lives whether it means sticking to a study schedule or making it on time for your son’s soccer game.

    Speaking of which, I love when you also mention the importance of family first. That is one of my strongest values and it’s so great to be in touch with others who feel the same! =)

    1. Glad you liked the tribute Samantha!

      By showing our love, respect, feelings and sentiments later when we have lost the ones we love really has no meaning I feel. Instead, conveying the same now when they are part of our lives is what matters most. When I realized about it, I didn’t want to wait a second longer and wrote this post- and it served dual purpose, as I was also able to convey the lessons I learnt along the way.

      Consistency and discipline were inborn in us I think, as my dad and his dad as well were both in the army, which surely does teach you both of these things right from day one! But even otherwise, now that I am not married in an army family- leading a disciplined life is something I would opt for any-day.

      Yes indeed, family always comes first for me- no matter what the work. What they give to us is unmatched to other things, and there are no replacements. Nice to know that you also feel the same way about the importance of family.

      Thanks so much for stopping-by 🙂

  4. Hey Harleena,

    Coming to your post has been long overdue! But I am so glad I could finally come by, and I am so thrilled to have begun with this post. This was the absolute tribute one daughter could pay her father. Dads are such a wonderful blessing to daughters; I could nod my head to that given that my dad always treated us like little princesses!

    It was wonderful reading about your father and the values you have been so wonderfully picked up.

    Hoping to be here more often! Have a nice day! See you around!

    1. Welcome to the blog Hajra!

      I would have to say the same and I too needed to connect with you, and am glad you took the initiative to stop by 🙂

      Glad you liked the tribute and lessons learnt along with it- it’s the least I could do to convey my feelings towards my dad. However, I still feel there is so much left unsaid and I could have said so much more had the length of post not been on my mind!

      Yes indeed, Dads are a wonderful blessings to their daughters, and irrespective of the age- we always remain their little princesses- you said that so rightly. Daughters are truly ALWAYS treated as princesses, and showered with so much of love, care, and attention. It’s a blessing in disguise 🙂

      Thanks for stopping-by, and would be wonderful to have you over more often. I need to stop over at your blog too as well- have a great weekend 🙂

  5. Well what do I say-I am also the proud daughter of this great man….but my sister has written about him so well…..I can just say…I second her thoughts. 🙂

    He is truly a great inspiration to learn from- as living with him and learning each moment of life with him teaches me a great deal about life. Hang around dad….

    Here is a link I had written about him sometime back


    1. Welcome to the blog sis!

      Ah- you really don’t have to say anything, I can well understand what you mean to say 🙂

      Yes- he has been a living example and inspiration to both you and me, and every single day is a learning lesson from him. Yeh- hang around Dad- we need you for ever and ever!

      Thanks for the link and sparing sometime to stop-by and comment 🙂

  6. Lovely tribute, Harleena!

    You’re lucky. I am sure your Dad is proud of you. Thanks for sharing!

    1. Glad you liked the tribute Vidya!

      Yes indeed, I am lucky to have such wonderful parents and an awesome father! Hope and pray that everyone gets to learn a few of the lessons I picked up from them along my life.

      Thanks for stopping-by. 🙂

  7. Hi Harleena,

    You had an incredible father and I’m glad you shared that with us. What an accomplished man!

    I couldn’t imagine what it was like for him to fight and lead in all those wars, let alone the work he did to stop terrorism.

    He’s also incredibly intelligent to have raised you to become who you are today.

    Loved the inside look.


    1. Glad you liked the post Bryce!

      Yes indeed, I have an incredible father, a perfect role model- though I can barely match up to him- no matter how hard I try!

      We can only imagine how he led all those hundreds of soldiers during both the wars and fought terrorism, and I see him talk of them and am taken back in time to imagine how it must have been for him! And how we are so scared to even raise a gun, let alone operating one during war!

      I remain ever so grateful for my upbringing and whatever I am today, which is all due to my parents. I have no words…

      Thanks so much for stopping-by. 🙂

  8. Hi Harleena,

    What a wonderful tribute to your dad! I know he is very proud of you as was your mom no doubt. Like you, I lost my mother to cancer many years ago. I was only 21 at the time and I wish I would have had a father to lean on for support and comfort as well as wisdom, but that just wasn’t in the cards for me.

    I’m sure your dad knows how much you love and appreciate him, but it’s always nice to hear the words (or in your case read them.) I make sure I tell my husband and my kids every day how much I love them and I’m never stingy with hugs either.

    Wishing you and your dad many more wonderful years together!


    1. Glad you liked the tribute Ilka!

      I guess he is proud as I can sense a change in his voice when I last spoke to him, or may be I just feel like it as I am so-so proud of him and his wonderful achievements.

      Sad to hear about the loss of your mother at that young an age Ilka, and not having the kind of support as I had thereafter can be stressful. I think such losses are something that are totally out of our hands and something we can do really nothing about, other than pray and hope.

      My dad was overwhelmed and happy to read what I wrote about him, guess I have never really spoken or been able to convey it in words earlier, and this was my way of letting him know, as well as putting up a post about it- so that everyone can learn a few things along the way as well 🙂

      Letting your husband and kids know how much they mean to you or how much you love them is something I need to work on now. It doesn’t happen everyday, though ideally it should!

      Thanks so much for stopping by, conveying your warm wishes, and adding so much value to the post 🙂

  9. Harleena…I’m SO grateful that I saw this post on your commentluv link on my site. It brought tears to my eyes and I am so thankful that you followed your intuition to share these lessons learned (which we all benefit from) from your father.

    His example and light shines bright even if it is half the world away on another continent. What a blessing!

    Thanks for sharing his light while he is still strong and shining bright. That means so much and that is a good example and reminder to all of us to cherish the ones we love every day…right now…in the present.

    Thanks for this wonderful tribute. It brightened my day!

    1. Welcome to the blog Steve!

      Glad the post moved you, though am sorry for the tears…I guess you were really touched by the words, which means a great deal to me. Yes, I am glad as well that I followed my intuition and did just what my heart told me to do- instantly! I did want to share the lessons I learnt with everyone, as I felt that they would help anyone.

      I am indeed happy to learn that you were able to learn something, even if it was a wee bit from his life achievements- sitting at one end of the continent. The power of the Internet and making connections, and good friends I guess!

      Thanks so much for adding so much more value to the post with your warm and kind words. I hope and pray people also learn to cherish and value their near and dear ones and learn something from the post…you brighten my day as well dear friend 🙂

  10. What a touching post, Harleena!

    It’s so important to acknowledge the people we love while they’re with us. You have every reason to be proud of your Dad and I’m certain he in turn must be proud of you! This post must have brought a tear to his eye, I’m sure.

    Silly me, hadn’t seen this blog of yours – but now I’ll be dropping by often. Incidentally we’re both Army brats ♥

    1. Welcome to the blog Corinne!

      Glad you liked the post. Yes indeed, it is so very important to let those -who are dear to us, or who mean a great deal to us-know how much they mean to us, while they are with us. I knew I had to write about my father and share the lessons learnt, and once I realized it, I didn’t want to wait a day longer.

      I am very proud of him, his achievements, and generally as a person he earns all the respect for being the way he is! I can’t say about the tear in his eye, though I feel he must have felt nice after reading it and knowing my feelings about him, and the lessons I have learnt from him.

      Thanks so much for stopping-by, and glad we connected- its better late than never. And wonderful to know that you too are from the army background 🙂

    1. Welcome to the blog Michael!

      Glad you liked the blog as well as the post. I hope he is as proud of me as I am of him, though even if he is not(which is unlikely!)- I know I have conveyed my feelings that were long overdue, and something I didn’t want to hold on further. And I hope the readers of the blog have also learnt a few lessons through this post- as that was another aim of putting it down as a blog post 🙂

      Thanks so much for your kind words, and for stopping-by 🙂

  11. Nice to see you had such a powerful and inspiring role model in your life. That can be incredibly important to living a rich life of your own.

    1. Welcome to the blog Steven!

      Yes indeed, I do have a powerful, inspiring, and motivational role model in my life- and his support is forever with me! He is a guiding factor in my life and I do look up to him a great deal.

      Thanks so much for stopping-by. 🙂

  12. Respected Miss Harleena,

    Thanks a lot for sharing with us your precious/impressive post and comments regarding your parents. I am really grateful to you and hope that your comments will bring a positive change in the lives of other readers.

    I personally observed that today we have no time, not even a few minutes for our old parents. Majority of us don’t want to keep our aged parents with us in the same house.

    I am greatly impressed by your love for your parents, and I respect all those people who are well aware about the importance of parents. Whatever we are today is because of our parents, and we should make them feel proud by acknowledging their efforts to make you successful.

    Thanks again for sharing these precious/valuable and impressive post and comments.

    1. Welcome to the blog Rafiq!

      Glad you liked the post as well as the comments, which I know have stretched long- though all of them are valuable and meaningful. I do hope the post brings about a positive change in the lives of others, such that those who are distanced from their near and dear ones- reach out and connect with them.

      Yes indeed, nowadays in our busy lives and work- there is hardly any time to spare for our parents and some don’t prefer keeping their parents with them also. I guess this happens mostly because both partners are working or are not willing to make adjustments, which happens when there are adjustment problems.

      I have indeed been lucky to have loving parents and having lived in an atmosphere where there was abundance of love, care, and support for each other. And full credit to my parents who have made me what I am today- no doubts about that 🙂

      Thanks so much for stopping-by, and its nice that you come from across the border 🙂

  13. Harleena,

    This is simply beautiful. It is the sort of letter that I hope to live up to so that one day my children will feel moved to write something similar about me.

    Not because my ego needs it but because if I can do what your father did I know I will have done a proper job of parenting. It sounds like you are all very lucky.

    Your father must have some exceptional stories to tell about his life. That is something rare and special.

    1. Glad you liked it Jack!

      I am sure your kids too would one day look up to you the same way as I do to my dad. Sometimes it just takes a little time, and such thoughts come with age- as it occurred to me now – after so many years, and I didn’t want to wait a minute longer. Your kids are still small, and so are mine.

      I guess as parents we do try our level best to do the best we can for our kids, though some places we always do fall short. I do however marvel at the fact- wondering as to how our parents managed so beautifully. May be there was less of distractions and more of family time, less of television, mobiles or other gadgets, no Internet, and all these contributed a great deal.

      Yes indeed, I am lucky for the wonderful parents I had. And of course my dad who is my constant support and pillar of strength in more ways than he would ever know.

      When my dad sits to talk to us about his good old days, we truly get lost in his stories. They are true life experiences and then we wonder how well he managed and what little of life we know as compared. It is indeed rare and special. May God bless him….

      Thanks so much for stopping-by and adding more value to the post. 🙂

  14. Harleena, aloha. What a beautiful tribute to an incredible man. Thank you for sharing him and so much of yours with us.

    As to the length? Not to worry; no apologies are necessary. Because of the beauty of what you wrote and the way you spoke from the heart, the time reading it flew by. In fact, quite honestly, I didn’t want it to end because I was so caught up in your story about your Dad.

    Harleena, I absolutely loved the way you took a word or two, gave the story as you saw it being lived and then gave the lesson you learned.

    From what I know of you from your posts and your comments, it seems you have learned the lessons well and are indeed passing them along to your children.

    How fortunate you are, Leena, that your daughters are experiencing growing up with this remarkable man as a part of their lives so they can learn from his wisdom, grace, and style.

    My parents too were a love story and it was wonderful to have that as a part of my life. It definitely colors your perspective on relationships and how they should be.

    Leena, I hope your post will inspire other bloggers to write of their parent(s) before they pass away. What a fabulous gift to give.

    Wishing you and yours the very best, always. Aloha. Janet

    1. Aloha Janet!

      Glad you liked the humble tribute- to yes, an incredible man- my dad. For me, he is always high above -there, and I knew it was high time I shared him and the wonderful lessons learnt from him, with everyone.

      I won’t surely talk of the length of the post any longer as the warmth of all your words, as well as Adrienne’s and Carolyn’s comments makes me realize that at such times its what you are expressing that matters more than its length.

      Nice to know that time just flew by while you were reading the post and you didn’t realize its length, as I think when we write from the heart- the words just flow and connect so well… And I didn’t want to end it either, but the bug of the post length kept biting me and I had to force myself to stop, but next time I would make sure nothing stops me from saying what I really want to. 🙂

      Yes indeed, I did live it right through myself while writing the post! They were truly valuable memories and I loved going back in time and being in the moment when I penned my thoughts.

      I do try my level best to pass down the same values instilled in me by my parents, to my kids. However, I can never be like them and feel I must be falling sort in so many places. The times when I am a little lost, confused, or bewildered- I just need to close my eyes and think of my mom- and she seems to give me the answers and solves my problem in a jiffy, she is my guiding light always 🙂

      My daughters dote on their grandfather and hopefully would learn a great deal about him from this post, though we all are still a far cry from his grace, style, and wisdom! But trying to get close…

      I do hope and pray that everyone reading this post is inspired to reach out and connect with their parents, in any way they feel best- as long as you can let them know that they matter and how much they mean to you. It needn’t be a post, instead a simple hug, a few words of love, kind gestures, loving deeds- anything works- as long as you reach out without delay.

      Thanks ever so much for sharing your warmth and love through these words Janet, they mean a lot to me and I value your friendship a great deal because you matter 🙂

  15. What an incredible tribute to your father and it’s great that you can share it with him while he is still around. I’m sure he’s as proud of you as you are of him.

    I have good memories of my father as well. One of the things he taught me was “a place for everything, and everything in its place”. I inherited his old tool box, and I still try to put each tool right back where he used to put it, because he had a certain way they all fit in there. It just seems wrong to change it up now… 🙂

    As the daddy of a daughter myself, I absolutely agree with your definitions of what a dad is. Even though she is 26 and has been married a little over a year, she is and always will be my little girl… 🙂

    1. Welcome to the blog Ken!

      Glad you liked the tribute, and yes I did want him to know how I felt about him the moment I realized that time is slipping by so quickly, and wanted to share the lessons learnt along the way with everyone as well. I hope he is as proud of me as I am of him.

      Nice to learn about the beautiful memories you have of your dad as well. I like the way you try and follow in his footsteps by placing the tools in the tool box, just as he used to without wanting to make any changes- and that is honoring his ways and feelings. I guess each time you do that, your dad would be blessing you from above and you must be feeling so much closer to your dad.

      It happens with me very often when I try to do things my mother taught me, in the same way as she used to. It gives me an inner satisfaction and wonderful feeling that even if I am not with her or shes not with me, we are still connected and I am one-to-one with her.

      Oh yes, no matter how grown up daughters get, whether married or with kids like me, we always remain our daddy’s little girls, and I think we like it that ways as well- at least I do 🙂

      Thanks so much for stopping-by and sharing your experiences with everyone. Have a wonderful weekend 🙂

  16. Wow, Harleena,

    I have to wipe away the tears to write this comment. We are truly sisters, my dear. Not biologically, but in spirit. My life is quite similar to yours with my mother dying young, leaving my father to raise his family as a widower. I have lived most of my life with my dad as my only living parent so I know how special the bond could be.

    You know, when you wrote that you were going to be spending time with your dad over the holidays, they way you wrote it, I just sensed that your mother had passed and that you had the same special relationship with your father as I had with my father.

    My father is very similar to your father in every way. My father is 84 years old but still as sharp as ever. If he and I disagree in remembering something, he is most likely correct. He swims every day and the local swim club gave him an award as an honorary member of the boys’ swim team for setting such a good example of lifetime fitness.

    We can only hope to be such shining examples of parenthood. But thank you for helping to guide us in the ways of your father.

    One more thing. Please don’t apologize for the length of the article. You gave your father and your readers a gift with this post. Thank you so much for enriching us with your eloquent writing.

    1. Glad the post moved you so much Carolyn, though am sorry you had tears in your eyes.

      I guess it happens so often with me as well and I cry so easily, with a drop of a hat- and this just increases with age. It is indeed amazing to know the similarities we share, as you mentioned.

      Your mothers loss I too can understand so well- I guess such losses are irrecoverable and only those who undergo such pain know what they undergo. And with one of our parents left alone, it always pains our heart to know that they are alone.

      Yes indeed, my dad plays his part so well of being a wonderful parent- both of a father and that of a mother now that she is no more. I guess they learn and know that the kids would miss out on their mother, and get that motherly touch in their natures.

      You sensed it so well then Carolyn- I feel there may be a spiritual connection somewhere! I worked hard day and night to complete all my pending assignments, so that I could spare some precious and treasured moments with my dad while he was here. I value such moments so much more after the loss of my mother. And I feel you too must be doing the same with your dad, or would have done the same as I did- if you dad was visiting you 🙂

      Lol ! I guess my memory is no match as compared to my fathers- just as in your case! I’m sure their upbringing and their lifestyle during their days was any-day better and healthier than ours. Ah..nice to know that your dads a keen swimmer and awarded too- that’s really wonderful. I wish our dads could meet!!

      Yes indeed, we can only wish to follow in the footsteps of our parents and become a little like them. However, no matter how hard we try, I wonder if we can ever reach where they are.

      I guess I won’t apologize any longer, as both you and Adrienne mentioned that in your beautiful and warm comments. I am truly touched and moved by your feelings and the way you express and share your experiences with everyone.

      It’s indeed a pleasure to have you over, and may God Bless your dad as well and keep him healthy always 🙂

  17. No apologies necessary Harleena for taking the time to let your Dad know just how truly special he is to you. I’m sure you tell him often but writing a post about him goes above and beyond.

    It sounds like you had a wonderful childhood and your father, wow, what accomplishments he’s achieved. I’m so very impressed.

    I’m sorry you lost your Mom shortly after he retired. That must have been pretty hard on everyone. I can only imagine.

    I wish I had been blogging way back when so I could have written a tribute post to my Dad while he was still here to read it. But I know he’s always looking down on me and I’m sure he enjoyed the one I wrote for him last year. I’m sure your Mom is enjoying this one too.

    Thank you for taking this time and sharing with us what a truly wonderful man your Dad is. I hope everyone will take the time to read it all the way to the end.

    You are truly blessed Harleena. 🙂

    1. Glad you liked the tribute Adrienne!

      Apologies were meant for the long post and those who may have had a tough time reading it right through the end. My sister too told me that it was way too long, and I just told her that I felt it was still too short of all that I wanted to convey- as there are so many more life’s lessons that I still need to mention!

      Yes indeed, I did get a call from him today and he was overwhelmed and surprised to read the post and thanked me. I of course had no words other than “I needed to do this long back dad as you mean a lot to me”.

      I did have a memorable childhood that I truly treasure and my dad is sure an idol father anyone would love to have. Yes, my mom’s loss sure took us a lot of time to get over, as we were a very close knit small family. And it is my dad who of course feels it the most now. Guess she would be glad that I wrote this post that I had been wanting to write for a long-long time.

      In fact to be very honest, I had always wanted to write a small book dedicated to parenting and my parents, though never really found the time for it. Then I came across your beautiful tribute to your dad, which I think you wrote on his birthday last year. I do remember it so well. That surely did trigger off my thoughts about conveying what I had to – before its too late. You are truly blessed as well and your dad sure would be proud of your achievements. The soul of our parents is always a guiding force in our lives, as I truly believe I am guided by my mother at the rough or hard time.

      Thanks so much for taking time out and stopping-by, and enriching the post with your experiences. It is always a pleasure to have you over 🙂

  18. Your father sure is special 🙂 I’m more proud of my mom. It usually happens this way: girls like their fathers than their moms and vice versa to boys.

    1. Yes indeed Robert!

      He sure is very special to me, and even though my mom was awesome- but I lost her a while ago, so the attachment presently grows with my dad more. Yes it does happen that girls like their fathers while boys like their mothers. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping-by!

  19. What a touching and heart-felt post, Harleena!

    I really enjoyed this read. Being that my relationship with my own father is just beginning to strengthen; I can truly appreciate the bond that you and your father share.

    Your father sounds like a very honorable man, who has accomplished many achievements in his life. It’s no wonder you carry so much pride and admiration for him. I can certainly understand why. I can also understand why you dropped everything when he came into town.

    Congratulations to your sister for finishing her novel. That too is highly admirable. I am learning myself that writing ones first novel is by far an easy feat to accomplish.

    I learned so much about you through your writing about your father. And the lessons he instilled in you are great lessons that every father should instill in their kids. I can only hope that one of these days I will share in being able to teach my child those very same lessons.

    In reading your post today, it makes me wish that my relationship with my dad would have been much stronger than it is at the moment. I didn’t learn of who he was until I was 16 years old, and even then there were other things that stood in the way of us getting to know one another. I’m no longer regretful or angry that I didn’t have him in my life earlier, because I’ve begun to understand that everything happens for a reason. And while I may not understand the reason right now, I do know that there is a reason.

    Thank you for sharing this with us. I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know. I know I may not ever have the opportunity of meeting your dad, but I can truly appreciate him for being a father to one of my dearest blogging friends. It’s because of him, I have such respect and admiration for you.

    So to Maj. Gen. (Dr.) Kulwant. Singh, UYSM, I say Thank you for my dear friend Harleena. My utmost respect to you both.

    May 2012 bring you both, continual blessing. Cheers, my friend! 🙂

    1. Glad you liked it Deeone!

      Firstly, I apologize for the trouble you or anyone else may have had while trying to leave a comment yesterday. The problem occurred because of the new version of CommentLuv that I had upgraded to, which took time settling down, though am glad its all over now.

      Nice to know what your relationship with your dad is getting better, I guess it is never too late to start getting closer and letting the ones you love- how much they mean to you.

      Yes indeed, my dad is awesome- that is the word! And I did want to spend each moment with him while he was with us, thus my absence for a while from the blogosphere. He has achieved a great deal, and I didn’t mention his educational qualifications as he has done his Doctorate and Masters in Defense Studies besides others. In fact he did that much later in his career, and is always after us kids to keep studying, as there is no end to education and learning.

      My sister just completed her first novel as well, though it took her a few years doing that- guess she prefers working at her own pace just like writers do! I can’t wait to read your novel as well!

      My parents have truly made me what I am today, and its all thanks to their guidance, help, and constant support that I exist! Nice that you learnt more about me from this post Deeone. I am sure you would do wonderfully well as a parent, whenever that day arrives.

      I like the way you understand things about your relationship with your father. Yes you are right, things always do happen for a reason, and am sure you would soon learn about it as well. I do know about your mother and her loss, and that is something that must have driven you closer to your father. Do treasure him now that you are closer 🙂

      Thanks so much for your beautiful words and warmth through them. I know you may never meet my dad, but he would surely be reading this post and learn about your good wishes. May be he stops by and leaves us all a comment 🙂 Yes indeed, it is because of him that I am!

      You add so much warmth and feelings to your comments, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reaching out and connecting dear friend 🙂

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