A Letter to the Younger Me Before I Got Married

You may not have a perfect life. But there are things as a woman you’d want to do before getting married. This is because after you get married, you shoulder many responsibilities and live your life for the welfare of your family. Here’s a letter from a married woman to her younger self with words of wisdom and advice to take care of herself, do more, and better to enjoy life then and later. ~ Ed.

There are things I am really thankful for, thinking about the family my husband and I have built together for the past 8 years. I am grateful for we both have kept our careers despite this Pandemic. I am grateful for we have earned a better living, not just for the two of us but especially for the kids.

Above all, we are blessed in almost everything. But why does it feel like I still long to be alone sometimes and I want to remind myself of my life before getting busy with juggling my job, the chores, and the kids?

There are things I wish to experience once more. And, things I wish I could have enjoyed and savored longer before I finally let go of my single life. So, I’m writing this letter to the younger me, to tell her what she should do better and enjoy the most when she still had the time and energy.

That way, her married life will become a better one – full of contentment, less stressful, more peaceful.

Things I Could Have Done to Make the Married Me a Better One

If I get a chance to relive my life, I’d chase my dreams, take care of my health, and know my partner more before getting married. Though I’ve no regrets, there’s more I’d tell my younger self.

Pamper Yourself

It is a must to save, but don’t deprive yourself of the things that you deserve too. When you get married and have kids, you will be given another responsibility to take care of your family.

All your time will be spent looking after the welfare of everyone in your pack. Even in your sleep, it is still them that you will dream about. You will have lesser time to spend for yourself. So do it while you still can afford that.

It doesn’t really have to be extravagant, just enough to make you feel good about yourself. Savor the quality of life you can give to the single you, so you can treasure her more even after getting married and settling down.

Sleep and Rest Well

When I was younger, I would go out on nights when I don’t feel like sleeping on time. I stay up late even if I know I will be getting up early for the next day. My motto was “Sleep is for the weak!” Not until I got married and had kids.

When I got pregnant, even if I was feeling tired and sleepy, I felt uncomfortable especially towards the end of my pregnancy and I had a hard time sleeping. After I gave birth, I was super sleep deprived since the baby wakes up a couple of times at night. My sleeping pattern was messed and it made me feel so exhausted.

It got even worse when the kids grew into toddlers. Every day, I multitask all the chores, taking care of kids, breastfeeding, taking care of my husband, and our home. Looking back, I don’t even know how I did that.

I realize how tiring it is to go over that routine every single day-24/7, no salary, no rest days. I realized how much energy I wasted over unimportant things before. So yeah, sleep and rest whenever you can because soon, you will cry a little, asking for it!

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Don’t Hurry, Know Your Partner Well

Married Life is more about how you and your spouse handle the hurdles that will be on your way. At this point, knowing your partner inside out will be one of the keys so you can both jump together and pass through.

Now, this is funny. When we were younger, my partner and I were so sure that we’d want to live together and settle down already. Yet when we already did, we realized how different our tastes and ways were. True colors and attitudes came out and we were both unprepared.

Good thing we still stuck together. But the journey could have been less stressful for both of us if we waited for a while and got to know each other well before jumping on to this ride.

Travel More: Alone, With Friends or With Your Future Husband

Perhaps Traveling is made by God to let us escape from the tiring routine that we face daily. To let us experience the kind of adventure that will let us feel relieved even just for a while. Truly, every once in a while, we need to travel to refresh ourselves and the positivity within us.

Travel Alone

Like soul searching, traveling alone can make you get to know yourself more. Your fears, your strengths, and what could make your heart skip a beat. The more you understand and get to know yourself, the more it will get easier for you to resolve and find solutions to whatever may come along in your life.

Travel with Friends

Traveling with friends will make your bond tighter. You will know who will stick by your side in times when you are not loveable. Who will walk ahead of you, behind you, or who will hold your hand and walk beside you?

This is important because by the time you will settle down, there will be no assurance that you will still have regular hangouts and chitchats. However, a real friend will check on you and your family from time to time no matter how busy they could get.

Travel With Your Partner

Traveling together will make you see how your partner handles every situation that may arise during your adventure. Will he stay patient? How long can he stand your mood swings? Will he walk on his own ahead of you if you argue with him over something during the trip? All these will be keys for you to see cues if you two will be able to stand on each other’s side no matter what.

Talk More About Financial Plans with Your Partner

I realized how important this matter is when I became a stay-at-home Mom after giving birth. The fact was that I wasn’t prepared to handle the financial management and budgeting for our living. I had to quit my job to take care of our firstborn baby after giving birth.

I was so clueless about the changes I could experience after not having an income. In fact, I was truly unprepared and I could only hope my partner and I were able to talk more and prepare ourselves for these matters before we got ourselves into this journey.

Take Care of Your Health and Love Yourself More

Now is your time to love yourself the most. Exercise, live a healthy lifestyle, eat healthy foods, and stop eating those junkies. After getting married and having kids, your body will change a lot from its shape to the feels.

No matter how much you try to stay fit, sometimes it’s hard and it is even beyond your control. You want to stay slim, but breastfeeding could make you feel so hungry. You’d need to munch something almost all the time to keep your tummy from rumbling.

You want a flat tummy, yet it became saggy after housing your child for 9 months. They say you must love your mommy body because it has done so much for you and your family.  If only I had known that back then, I could have prepared my body more and treasured it the most.

Chase Your Dreams More and Dare to Put More Passion Into the Things You Have Always Loved Doing

I emphasize this because as for me, it took a while before I figured out what could really make me happy. I have always hopped here and there, looking for something that could possibly take my stress away.

It was writing my blogs that saved me from the loneliness of being trapped in my daily routine, from the emotional stress of thinking that the world goes on out there and that I was just here inside the four walls of our home, forgotten.

From the moment I started writing from my daily diary to discovering my passion for blogging, I became a refreshed and more motivated mother and wife. If only I had known how writing could be such a great help, I could have started and nurtured it sooner.

Wrapping Up

My married life is not something I have always thought it would be. I have imagined myself and my husband having a candlelight dinner inside our home while the kids are happily gazing at us. But in reality, the steak got burnt a little, I didn’t like the wine, and the kids are running around while the kitchen is a little too messy. And I could be happier, but I’m a little too exhausted.

In the end, no one is ever perfectly prepared for married life, that’s for sure. But I wish I could have done those things above when I was still single and capable of doing them. It’s not that I regret not being able to have more of those.

I’m happy with where I am right now, together with my loving husband and kids. Yet, I know that I will be able to give so much more than how I had if only I could turn back time and send this letter to the younger me before I got married.

Over to You

Do you also have wishful thinking of being able to communicate the younger you so that the person that you are in present could live at her best? What would be the number 1 advice you’d give to the younger you then? Share your thoughts in the comment section.