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Friendship Day Special: How to Be a Good Friend


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Two good friend girls happy together

Who doesn’t want a good friend in life, especially if it’s a friend you can fall back on. I’m sure like me, you too would want to enjoy the company of such a friend.

However, being a good friend isn’t always easy. A good or real friend is like true love in your life, because it’s so precious to you. Isn’t it?

Good friendship is a special interpersonal relationship. It is a treasure that you can possess, but you need to make efforts for that.

As they say, friendship is a two way street. So if you want a good friend, you first need to be a good friend.

Now, the question you might ask yourself is how to be a good friend?

Isn’t it ironic that you always try to look for good friends, but you rarely consider being a good friend yourself? Well, some of you perhaps do, but some of you don’t – isn’t it? So, I hope this post helps all of you become better friends.

I’d written a post about having loving and true friends in life, and in that I’d mentioned the general characteristics you should adopt to have good friends in life.

But, this post is about the specific things you can do to be a good friend.

With Friendship Day just round the corner, how could I not write about friends and friendship! :)

I remain ever so grateful to all the wonderful friends that I’ve made, offline and online. Though frankly speaking, now I have more friends online – so this is a tribute to all of you on this special day!

Well, for those who want to be good friends, just any day is a friendship day, isn’t it? :)

“One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.” ~ Clifton Fadiman

Ways to Be a Good Friend

You can broadly divide your efforts to be a good friend into two components: internal and external.

First, you work on your own self and second, you work on your friendship.

As in all cases, your strategy should be to first work on yourself.

1) Work on your own self

You’ve to develop the qualities of a good friend within you.

You simply follow the great saying:

“Do to others what you expect others to do to you.”

So, if you want someone to become your good friend, you should try to become their good friend.

Still wondering – how to be a good friend?

Well, simply learn the acronym that I’ve created for you. Yes, yet another acronym! ;) It’ll tell you the complete inside story of the making of a good friend.

FRIENDSHIP – To Make You A Good Friend

You need to prepare yourself to meet the requirements of your expectations.

Here’s FRIENDSHIP for you. :)

This acronym informs you about the qualities of a good friend that you need to adopt, and then make them an integral part of you to be good friends with just anybody.

[dropcap]F[/dropcap]  Forgiveness: To be a good friend, you need to develop the ability to forgive your friend. You can only do that if you love your friend, as forgiveness comes out of compassion.

[dropcap]R[/dropcap] – Respect: As a good friend, you should respect your friend. Learn to drop your ego, be humble, and honor your friend for what and how he or she is.

[dropcap]I[/dropcap] – Indulgent: Tolerance is a mark of being a true friend. You need to be understanding, generous, as well as lenient with your friend, and accept personal differences.

[dropcap]E[/dropcap] – Empathy: Good friends always put themselves in the shoes of others. They are always ready to listen to what their friend says, and are sensitive enough to their feelings and emotions.

[dropcap]N[/dropcap] – Nonjudgmental: A real friend never passes judgment over the choice or decision of a friend. You don’t have to judge your friend, instead, pledge your unconditional love.

[dropcap]D[/dropcap] – Dependability: If you want to be a good friend, then you have to be responsible and reliable. As a good friend, you’re expected to show loyalty, which is the backbone of a good friendship.

[dropcap]S[/dropcap] – Sincerity: You know that honesty is the best policy, and that goes well for being a good friend too. You’ve to be authentic, genuine, and trustworthy with all seriousness in your friendship.

[dropcap]H[/dropcap] – Humor: You don’t always have to be dead serious to be a good friend. On the contrary, you should be fun loving, enjoyable, and interesting. Good friends try to keep each other happy.

[dropcap]I[/dropcap] – Integrity: As a good friend, you should have self control and patience. You need to uphold your goodness, principles, and be selflessly committed – irrespective of the circumstances.

[dropcap]P[/dropcap] – Positivity: Negativity should find no place in a good friendship. Do away with backbiting or complaining. Instead, spend your energy to encourage and motivate your friend.

Conclusively, for being a good friend you need to be at least  forgiving, respecting and indulgent. You should have empathy, sincerity, and a sense of humor.

Additionally, you must be non-judgmental, dependable, have  integrity of character, and a personality with a positive attitude.

So, do you have these qualities of being a good friend? If not, you can still learn and imbibe them.

“A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.” ~ Douglas Pagels

2) Work on your friendship

As part of your external efforts to be good friends, you would want to do certain things that your friend considers as a good gesture from a friend.

The acts and behaviors you carry out should benefit your friend, or at least comfort him or her. But there are certain things that you shouldn’t do in your friendship too, if you two want to be good friends.

Want to know more about it? Then continue reading!

Guess what; I’ve created these Ten Commandments so that you know how to be a good friend,  if you aren’t one already! I hope they help you :)

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” ~ Walter Winchell

Few good friends jumping and having fun

10 COMMANDMENTS – For Being a Good Friend

Let me share the ten general rules of friendship with you here. These are not hard and fast rules that you need to follow to be a good friend, but some of the very practical ones.

These can be changed as per your requirement and understanding, but you should try to use these suggestions to be good friends. Here they are -

[colored_box color="blue"]1. Accept your friend as he or she is, though you can both make efforts to better each other. However, your friend need not be the same as you. Accept that you are different individuals.[/colored_box]

[colored_box color="green"]2. Always trust your friend, keep your promises, and never lie or cheat. Never talk ill behind your friend’s back. Keep the secrets your friend entrusted you with, and never hide anything from each other.[/colored_box]

[colored_box color="blue"]3. Forgive your friend for mistakes committed, and apologize when you make them. Give your friend a special place in your heart, and express your feelings.[/colored_box]

[colored_box color="green"]4. Never be jealous of your friend, instead, share their celebrations and happiness as your own. Always wish for your friend’s success. Remember, sharing is caring.[/colored_box]

[colored_box color="blue"]5. Always be there physically as far as possible when your friend needs help, and speak up in solidarity as and when required. However, don’t forget to guide righteously when your friend is wrong.[/colored_box]

[colored_box color="green"]6. Let your friend talk uninterruptedly, even if it’s boring. Sometimes, friend’s need to vent out and they should be free to talk about anything they want with their good friend. You should rather be a good listener.[/colored_box]

[colored_box color="blue"]7. Advice and suggest your friend only when you’re asked to, decently and without hurting any sentiments. And don’t lecture, no body likes that![/colored_box]

[colored_box color="green"]8. Be thoughtful and do small things for each other. Don’t take your friend for granted, never insult your friend, and don’t tease without permission and beyond limits.[/colored_box]

[colored_box color="blue"]9. Make time for your friend, but be considerate about his or her obligations and duties if he or she can’t make it. Support and lift the spirits of your friend in time of need.[/colored_box]

[colored_box color="green"]10. Don’t replace your friend with an acquaintance you might’ve met through your friend, and never mess and mix with your friend’s ex.[/colored_box]

“A true friend laughs at your stories even when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your troubles even when they’re not so bad.” ~ Anonymous

Do these guidelines match up with the ones you follow? Of course, you can change them to suit you, your way of life, values, and priorities.

I hope this friendship day special post, especially dedicated to every friend, helps you to become a better friend and takes your friendship to a higher level.

Remember that you don’t need money to be a good friend, nor should you measure your friendship with being rich or poor.

Good friends are made irrespective of your culture, religion, or the place where you live. It’s your personal values, thoughts, and actions that make you a good friend.

A good friendship takes time to evolve. So, don’t get frustrated if you don’t get instant results. Keep the faith and have patience – good thing comes to those who wait. :)

“A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, my world.” ~ Leo Buscaglia

Wish you all a very Happy Friendship Day!

Over to you –

What are your suggestions on how to be a good friend? What are your ways of being a good friend? What additional qualities of a good friend would you add to the list? Share in the comments.

 

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos, rkramer62


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Avatar of Harleena Singh

About Harleena Singh

Harleena Singh is a positive thinker and a freelance writer. She loves to write inspiring and thought provoking posts on self-improvement, family, relationships, health, and other aspects of life. She's not another personal development guru, but just an average person with great life experiences. She's also a blogger, who loves to share her blogging knowledge and experiences. Network with her on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+..

73 Comments

  1. Pramod

    July 31, 2013 at 10:32 am

    Nice Post Harleena !
    There are two types of friends in the world -Good and the Bad one’s :D .The good friends would have the good qualities (that you’ve mentioned in the commandments) and the bad friends would have opposite of it .I personally feel that its hard to find a loyal friend that wouldn’t be jealous of success and doesn’t talks bad things at the back ..To be honest , i never met such person in my life ..I had a few good college friends ..but they showed their true colors when i secured some good grades and got placed in a large MNC…I had a few work friends who always needed some help to get their work done ..but at the time i switched to some other organization ..no one was there to wish me best of luck ..hahaha

    -Pramod

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      July 31, 2013 at 1:35 pm

      Hi Pramod,

      Absolutely! Those are the two kinds and anything in-between are the dicey ones I’d say :)

      Though I wrote about the ten commandments and just mentioned ten qualities of a good friend, there is a lot more you can add or even lessen from this list, depending on your personal choice and the kind of friend you are, or the type you are looking out for.

      If it’s a loyal and true friend, he/she would never be jealous of your success, nor talk ill behind your back, and if he/she does, then perhaps he or she wasn’t really a true friend. Good friends feel happy and share your joys and sorrows. Yes, it’s not easy to find such people nowadays, but it’s not tough either. I guess we just have to wait on :)

      Sorry to hear about your friends, but that’s how the world is becoming now, though we need to play our part and remain good – isn’t it? I’m sure if you are good, you will also find good friends pretty soon.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post :)

  2. Damayanthi

    July 31, 2013 at 10:42 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Another great post.

    Acceptance – This comes back to work on self, because we need to learn to accept ourselves. Once we do that it is easy to accept the others as they are.

    You are right, trust & forgiveness plays a major part in any relationship.

    Love number 6 – we need to learn to listen to others, you shouldn’t take your friend for granted.

    Your commandment number 7 is very important because just because she is a friend we think we have the right to give advice on many things. You are right, this can be something we need to be very careful about because we may cross the line. So, as you say keep your advice to yourself unless she asked for it :)

    Of course we must make time for our friends & that time should be quality time.

    btw. Love your Acronym…

    Thanks for sharing.

    Damayanthi

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      July 31, 2013 at 2:04 pm

      Hi Damayanthi,

      Glad you liked the post :)

      Yes indeed, to accept ourselves for who and what we are should always come first, and once we can do that, we are easily able to accept another person as a friend.

      I don’t think there can be any friendship without trust, in-fact no relationship can succeed without it – it’s the foundation of any relationship.

      Listening to others is an art, though most people find it a tough thing to do, or always want to have their say. And taking each other for granted – don’t we all do that sometime or the other, in any kind of relationship, which again is a big no-no.

      I agree with you, and this is something most of us learn rather late, or perhaps we feel it’s our right to lecture or advice our friend, who might not want to hear it from us at all. Sometimes all friends need is someone to talk to or a shoulder to lean on – isn’t it?

      Oh yes…making friends is easy, but maintaining the friendship is what takes time and effort, from both sides. However, sometimes you need to be understanding and give in too, but that’s part of being a good friend ;)

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views. Glad you liked the acronym – I was just hoping it fits in well too :)

  3. Efoghor Joseph Ezie

    July 31, 2013 at 11:19 am

    Harleena,

    This is another opportunity to let people know how to always be there for their friends. Even the word of God says that there are friends that stick closer than brothers.

    This is obviously one of the best topics I have read in recent time. It teaches us how to value relationships (friendship), build confidentiality, increase trust and reduce conflicts.

    I would say to be a good friend and for others to want to be your friend too, you must be friendly because nobody is attracted to hostile people. Everyone loves friendly and amiable people.

    Learn to tolerate: Tolerance is highly needed for friendship to flourish. You should be prepared to tolerate the shortcomings of your friend just the same way you tolerate yours.

    Be an example: You should be an example of what a friend should be. If you wish to be treated with respect, love and care, you have to also demonstrate that to your friend. Don’t do the opposite of what you desire.

    Be supportive: Like Harleena has rightly said, friends should always be there for each other through thick and thin. Look for every opportunity to support your friend – support his dreams, support when in trouble, support when his confidence wanes, etc.

    Work on your relationship: No relationship is born perfect; it is you who would work on it and make it what you desire it to be. So do your best to make the friendship work.

    Harleena, thanks once again for this wonderful piece. Do have yourself a lovely weekend ahead.

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      July 31, 2013 at 6:02 pm

      Hi Joseph,

      You are absolutely right in saying that! In-fact I even wanted to put a related video here about it, but didn’t because not everyone believes in Him, though I’m glad we do :)

      Thanks so much for liking the post and yes, it was written with the intention of brining us closer in our friendly relationship. I guess with Friendship day just round the corner, I thought it would be apt and also convey the message of brotherhood among everyone.

      I wish people could understand things the way you do Joseph. No one likes people who get angry, or those who are rude and don’t mix around. There are chances of such people being shunned if they don’t change themselves. It makes a lot of difference if you are the kinds who is friendly, happy, and a person who is positive – you attract more friends with ease this ways.

      I agree with you there – no one is perfect, and just as your friend accepts and tolerates your shortcomings, you need to do the same with them, without really any ifs and buts. Treat your friend the way you would like to be treated should be rule of thumb. So, if you want love, care, respect – you need to behave the same way with your friend too.

      Yes indeed, real friendship is when you stand by your friend in all and any kind of circumstances, whether good or bad. And this is what you too would from your friend too – isn’t it? But yes, it’s not always the case, and sometimes one of the friends is more giving than the other. I guess in such a case you just keep trying and be a good friend and someday I’m sure the person on the other side will realize your goodness and change ways too. Most people give up too soon because of this one reason, as I’ve often seen, which I wish they wouldn’t.

      Friendship, like any other relationship, needs to be worked on and nurtured with utmost care, love, and understanding. It does need time and attention too, which again most friends take for granted or assume that if they are busy, their friends will understand. In most of the cases they do, but don’t expect them to always do too! If you don’t have your friends living nearby, as in the online world, things are still different, though off and on you do need to catch up and meet with them online, whenever possible. A simple note or message can do wonders in such cases, especially when you know that finding time is tough for you.

      Thanks for stopping by, and I loved your awesome comment as always, which added more value to the post. Have a nice week ahead :)

    • Darlene Today

      August 1, 2013 at 8:37 pm

      This resonated for me Joseph: “Look for every opportunity to support your friend – support his dreams, support when in trouble, support when his confidence wanes, etc.”

      God…

      I had this friend in Houston.. we worked together at Neimans for seven years. We always took lunch together..and got a 2-top so no one else could sit with us. LOL ..because we ALWAYS had SO much to talk about.

      I was always an entrepreneur at heart.

      So I’d come up with one lame brain idea after another.. and Denise was enthusiastic and supportive about each and every one. She made me feel like I could conquer the world. I love and miss her so much.

      ~Darlene
      p.s. One of those “lame brain” ideas turned out to be a winner..and I’ve never looked back. Bye bye job!

  4. Obasi Miracle

    July 31, 2013 at 12:43 pm

    Wow! great topic Harleena Singh.

    How to Be a Good Friend really attracted me so much that I have to read your post over and over again,

    Honestly I do possess most of the features and attributes you have outlined here such as being positive and non-judgmental but do have some friends that are extremely judgmental.

    Bookmarking this article is a must, sharing it with my friends is an a “must do” obligation too.

    Thanks for sharing and do also take care of yourself

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      July 31, 2013 at 3:05 pm

      Hi Obasi,

      Nice to know that you liked this special tribute to all my friends :)

      Ah…that’s so kind of you, though I’m sure you must be friends with many already as you mentioned that you already possess most of these qualities required in a good friend. I agree with you there, some friends are judgemental, or they might not have the same qualities as you, or very few as compared, but yet we become friends – isn’t it? And with time, the friendship grows and we develop a deeper understanding of each other.

      Thanks for stopping by, and for bookmarking the page and sharing it with your friends too, that’s very kind of you indeed :)

      • Obasi Miracle

        August 1, 2013 at 1:50 am

        You are very right about all that points Harleena Singh, I have personally developed a kinda approach and lifestyle that follows professional etiquette while dealing with online friends and that of home friends I follow with high level of tolerance.

        The compliments were great too, thanks and do have a great week ahead

        • Avatar of Harleena Singh

          Harleena Singh

          August 1, 2013 at 6:16 pm

          That’s the way it should be I guess, though again, a lot depends from one person to another and how they deal with their friends – isn’t it?

          Thanks once again, and have a nice week ahead as well :)

  5. Enstine Muki

    July 31, 2013 at 1:18 pm

    My head is spinning! I don’t know if there is something else to add here Harleena ;) but I think working on ones self is most important thing to do to attract friendship from around.

    Some people go around asking others to be their friends. Is friendship asked or earned? Just like respect, I think you need to earn someone’s friendship and that comes by working on yourself. Now after earning that friendship, you have to maintain it.

    I love the acronym Harleena. I think building these qualities will attract the right people to you. We meet new people almost every day and opportunities in live make us spend more time with these new people. Without necessarily asking them to be your friend, relating with them inline with your acronym will attract them to you.

    Thanks for yet another wonderful content

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      July 31, 2013 at 6:51 pm

      Hi Enstine,

      Lol…sorry for that ‘spinny’ feeling ;)

      Yes, we need to first work on ourself and become worthy enough to make good friends or become friends with others. It always starts with us, isn’t it?

      Oh yes…so many people do that, and they feel that if they ask others to become their friends, their friendship would be accepted. But what do they do in return to earn such a friendship? You can’t ask for becoming a friend – you become a friend with time, and yes, maintaining it is what matters more thereafter.

      Ah…I just thought of trying out something new with the acronym this time, and am glad you liked it. If we can imbibe these qualities, or even a few of them, we are bound to become good friends – the kind anyone would like to have. If we do that, we really don’t have to worry about seeking friendship with anyone as they will notice the change in you and come forward and become your friend.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post :)

  6. Martin

    July 31, 2013 at 7:30 pm

    Strange. I don’t think that being a good friend is must have. You have to be a human, moral person first of all and then a friend.

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 5, 2013 at 11:31 am

      Hi Martin,

      I agree that first you have to be a good person at heart, or a person with morals as you said, and then be a good friend. However, in this post we are talking just about that and the ways you can make yourself better.

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  7. Perambur Kumar

    July 31, 2013 at 7:52 pm

    I like 10 COMMANDMENTS.
    Wow it’s very nice post. I am always true friend to anyone.
    I missed some of my friends. They’re out of station. They’re now living in different states of India.

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 1, 2013 at 6:23 pm

      Hi Kumar,

      Glad you liked the 10 commandments to be a good friend, though they are not the start and end because you can add much more to these qualities, or remove the ones you don’t like too :)

      I’m sure you are a true friend, and because of your helpful nature people around you are well aware of that fact as well. Yes, we miss friends when we are not in the same place, but distances are said to make the hearts grow fonder, and I’m sure they are just a phone call away – so nothing can actually stop you from reaching out and connecting with them – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views :)

  8. Vivek Baghel

    July 31, 2013 at 7:58 pm

    Hi Harleena Singh,

    People know you by your great work as you always do! Well come to the point, Harleena I love this great post about Friendship! You have shared great point & tricks “To Be a Good Friend” but I just wanna say ! A strong Friendship also face some issue in life! I believe on it but still Friendship always be rocks always forever.

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 1, 2013 at 6:29 pm

      Hi Vivek – nice to have you back!

      Thank you so much for your kind words of appreciation, and I’m glad you liked the post too :)

      I agree with you there, just as any relationship has its own share of problems, so does friendship. But that’s alright because it’s normal. I guess you just learn to sort out those differences and move ahead, isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post :)

  9. Mayura

    July 31, 2013 at 9:05 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    Indeed! I don’t think good friends need a friendship day ’cause all of ‘em are friendship days with good friends around ;) Ha ha… I don’t know what our lives would be without good friends ;)

    Like you, I’m getting to that milestone of beating my offline friend count too Harleena ;) I don’t have much friends online, but I’ve got the right friends by my side. I’m grateful enough for having ‘em :) Especially through blogging.

    You are right! We need to start with ourselves instead of worrying about having good friends. My believe is if we possess good qualities, we attract even more good friends. Isn’t it true? My life is one example for that matter ;)

    When I see acronyms here, I always imagine you as a kid who loves to solve puzzles :D lol… Creative indeed!

    Anyway, I believe in following good practices before asking others to follow. Now you are settings as an example. Really, I can’t think of one quality in there that you are lack of. I highly admire how you care others while you are busy enough over there with your family. You are one of the loveliest friends I’ve ever met and anyone would love to have :) I have no doubt about that!

    Under 10 commandments, I love how you mentioned #5 and #6. When a friend possess those qualities, we know that we can count on him / her no matter what.

    We need to accept that good friends don’t claim but prove. Aren’t they Harleena? :) Being a good friend doesn’t mean we always attract good friends, but we need to keep in mind that even some friends ditch us for whatever reason, we shouldn’t worry about them. We need to let them go :) Else, we might get into lot of heartaches even after being a good friend for them.

    Wish you a very happy friendship day Haleena :) Enjoy all the way my friend!

    Cheers…

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 1, 2013 at 8:35 pm

      Hi Mayura,

      Yes indeed, good friends don’t need days like a Friendship Day because every day is a day of friendship for them. I also wonder what it would be to live without friends :)

      I’ve already beaten you there Mayura, I have mainly online friends now because I rarely get the time to mix with the offline ones, though there weren’t very many as a tis. Yes, when I was working full time, that time I had mostly offline friends, but you can’t call them all good friends – they are mainly casual, normal friends we have, while online, you can really make some good friends, especially if you are living nearby to meet up, or even otherwise – after a few years of knowing each other, the bonds of friendship only grow stronger – isn’t it?

      Everything should always start with us and if we are good enough, then alone should we expect the same from others. Yes, because of your goodness, you have lots of good friends in your life too – you are the perfect example I’d say. Aha…I know what you mean, and you are right – making these acronyms is just like that…lol…it does take me time, but I love to crack my brains and spend time to make something creative like this, which I hope people like.

      Thanks for saying that, but when I see myself, I see I lack in so many things and still have to work on myself to become a better person and friend. I certainly wish I could do more for my friends only if time permitted me to. Aha…look who is talking! I find you such a caring and loving friend, that’s why you are loved by everyone – for being the helpful and giving person that you are :)

      Yes indeed, you need to accept your friend as he or she is and prove to be one yourself too. I agree, friends come and go, or perhaps some friendships aren’t just meant to be, but you need to let them be too, especially if you’ve tried your best to make it work, and it didn’t for whatever reasons. Some broken friendships even become alright after a while when friends take time to sit and clear the clouds. A lot depends on the friends and the way they take things and we really can’t judge them – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. Happy Friendship Day to you too dear friend. I’m blessed and lucky to have you as a dear friend. :)

  10. Debbie

    July 31, 2013 at 9:59 pm

    Excellent pointers, Harleena!

    Good friends are hard to find and most of us have been let down by those we considered to be such at one time or another. True friendship evolves over time and naturally. It’s not something that can be forced. I only have a handful of these types of friends and we have known each other for many years. We’re like family and this is something to be treasured.

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 1, 2013 at 8:43 pm

      Hi Debbie,

      Absolutely! It’s tough to find good friends nowadays, and even if we do, you can never really know how long the friendship will last. And when a friendship breaks, it really tears you apart, especially if you’ve been close friends.

      I agree totally with you there, true friendship can never be forced, nor can you rush up things or ask people to become your friend. These things happen naturally and with time and patience. I guess if you do good on your part, and are a good friend, the rest usually falls into place on it’s own, in most of the cases at least. Nice to know about your friends and yes, having a few good friends is all we need in real life, and don’t we treasure such friends too. :)

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views :)

  11. Corina Rams

    July 31, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    I knew this was going to be a great post! I love the 10 commandments you put together, my favorite being #6. I’m always willing to listen to a friend or read an email :).

    I’m lucky to have a great friends online and offline (you included :) ) and I cherish them equally! I think it’s important to respect our friends and accept them, flaws and all. :)

    Your post reminds us how the type of person we should strive to be not only for our friends but everyone in our lives.

    Hope you’re having a great day Harleena!

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 1, 2013 at 8:57 pm

      Hi Corina,

      Ah…yes, I did try to make it a special one for all you wonderful friends :)

      Listening is a great skill I’d say and not everyone is very good at it. I guess sometimes friends just want to be heard, without being talked to and if you can lend them an ear, they would be just too glad.

      I agree with you there – we need to accept our friends, with their flaws, just as they accept us with ours, and that even goes for any kind of relationship that you value – isn’t it?

      I wish we could become better than what we are, but we can if we want to change ourselves. Not that we aren’t or we don’t try, but the process should never really end :)

      Thanks for stopping by, and I value you too my dear friend. Happy Friendship Day :)

  12. Theodore Nwangene

    August 1, 2013 at 12:00 am

    Great post as always Harleena,

    One of the best thing that can happen to anyone is to have a good friend and, friendship is one of those things we cannot avoid because, we can’t be an Island.

    But, before you can have a good relationship/friendship, you must first of all build a good personal relationship. Once you love yourself and have a good relationship with yourself then, the right friends will start coming your way.

    I really enjoyed this post and, i agree with all the lessons you shared here.

    Enjoy the remaining of your week Leena :).

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 1, 2013 at 9:04 pm

      Hi Theodore,

      Glad you liked this post on how to be a good friend, even though you are already a good one yourself :)

      I liked what you mentioned about being an island, which is so true. We live in a society with many people around us. We certainly cannot isolate or cut off from the rest of the world. We all need friends in our lives.

      Yes indeed, once you work on yourself and your personality, there is nothing to stop good friends coming your way. I think your personality is what will attract such friends to you.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post. Happy Friendship Day, and have a nice week ahead as well :)

  13. Abdul

    August 1, 2013 at 12:01 am

    A good friend is God’s gift.

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 1, 2013 at 9:05 pm

      Welcome to the blog Abdul!

      Yes indeed, having a good friend is a blessing – it is God’s gift for sure :)

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  14. Mark Lile

    August 1, 2013 at 12:49 am

    Great post about friendship! I totally agree when you say that many want friends, but don’t want to be one. You echo much of the sentiments I shared in a recent post I called ” A Friend Loves at All Times. ” You can find that post on my blog. Keep up the awesome blogging! God Bless!

    Mark Lile

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 1, 2013 at 9:09 pm

      Welcome to the blog Mark!

      Glad you liked this friendship post :)

      Oh yes…we see so many people in the social media asking to become your friend, or otherwise too, but are they really making any efforts to become your friend? It is more about being a good friend first, before anything else. I shall surely check out your post too pretty soon.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views :)

  15. Susan Neal

    August 1, 2013 at 1:24 am

    Hi Harleena,

    I love the acronym and the 10 commandments. I think you’ve said it all here – really can’t disagree with anything in this post, or think of much else to add. For me, one of the main things is about accepting the other person as they are, warts and all, and being yourself with them – being honest and open.

    I agree with Enstine’s point about having to work on ourselves – otherwise there’s a danger we end up projecting our problems and inadequacies on our friends by trying to force them to be something they’re not. I also like Mayura’s point about the need to let some friendships go – I’ve lost touch with quite a few old friends over the years, mainly due to geographical distance and changes in our lives, and I used to get upset about it, but now I feel ok – friendships sometimes end, and we have to move on.

    Thanks for another great post, Harleena :)

    Sue

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 1, 2013 at 10:18 pm

      Hi Sue,

      I just thought to try something different this time and make this Friendship Day a special one for all my friends by trying out the acronym and commandments :)

      Absolutely! If you want to make friends, you need to first be a good one yourself and that does require us to work on ourselves. Once you do that, you’d find lots of friendships coming your way. Yes, we do need to accept our friends for who they are, just as they accept us for who we are – and always be there for them, at all times. Being honest, open, and just yourself is the key.

      Enstine and Mayura, both agree on working on ourselves first, and that’s needed in every relationship I think. Yes, I too have lost many friendsthe same way as you, but somehow most of them managed to find me on Facebook, and it was lovely connecting with all of them after so many years. However, things aren’t the same as they were when we were in college, years back. Things change, people change, priorities change, and such is life. But I treasure the good moments spent with them, and they are a valueable part of me – the friendships don’t die like this, but they lessen a bit because each one is busy in their own lives and families now, nor do we meet that often. However, whenever we do chat a little, we are back to those college days, so that’s nice in a way :)

      Thanks for stopping by, and wishing you Happy Friendship Day as well. I value and treasure our friendship :)

      • Susan Neal

        August 2, 2013 at 7:25 pm

        Me too, Harleena – thank you :)

        Sue

        • Avatar of Harleena Singh

          Harleena Singh

          August 2, 2013 at 11:36 pm

          Thanks once again Sue, and have a lovely weekend :)

  16. Shalu Sharma

    August 1, 2013 at 1:27 am

    Great explanation of what friendship is. Many a times, jealousy and animosity creeps in and spoils the friendship. In addition to all this, friends can expect things from you which is often a cause of discontentment between friends. I like the idea of working on friendship but to be honest, I don’t know how to work on it. Thanks for your suggestions. I will try it out.

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 1, 2013 at 10:44 pm

      Hi Shalu,

      Glad you liked the post :)

      Yes, that does happen, though I wonder if it happens when you have a real, true friend. With normal friends, jealousy, animosity, expectations, and other such things do occur and that does end the friendship also in some cases, unless the clouds are cleared.

      Working to make your friendship better starts by being a good friend yourself, and if you are that, or can manage to follow the commandments and acrynom mentioned, you’d see the changes showing.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views :)

  17. Brad Castro

    August 1, 2013 at 3:10 am

    Awesome (and timely) post Harleena.

    My favorite friendship quote is from George Herbert: “When a friend asks, there is no tomorrow.”

    (I think a friend sent it to me . . . of course.)

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 1, 2013 at 10:46 pm

      Hi Brad,

      Ah…nice to know that it was a timely one for you :)

      That’s a lovely quote indeed, and thanks for sharing it here with us.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. :)

  18. Barbara Charles

    August 1, 2013 at 6:20 am

    Hi Harleena,I absolutely love your posts.

    Your tips on being a good friend and how to maintain a friendship are dead on. I lost a good friend about 5 years ago – a friendship that broke my heart, but I had to make a determination that she was not being a good friend to me. That was a hard decision.Great tips and thanks for sharing.
    Barbara

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 1, 2013 at 11:12 pm

      Hi Barbara,

      Nice to know that you liked these tips on how to be a good friend :)

      Ah…don’t we all go through that phase, and it does break our heart, doesn’t it? Thankfully, I’ve never had to go through such a case, but my sister did and I’ve seen her. I agree, you need to pull yourself away from it all and gather yourself to move ahead.

      Thanks for sharing and good to have you back too :)

  19. Babanature

    August 1, 2013 at 7:47 am

    Hello Harleena,

    The qualities you mentioned here are just too many, now you’re making me wonder if i have all quality that you mentioned :) . And as you, my online friends seems to be more than my offline friends. and also dependable (even more than my offline friend)…

    Friends are easy to get but the good ones are indeed hard to get. I don’t have much qualities of a friend but i know that i have the best quality that makes up a good friend :). willing to help is my specialty i got from my mama ;).

    The qualities you mentioned are hard to find but i know you have it all, that’s why every bloggers wants to friend you. :)

    Thanks and do have your self a peaceful week ahead…

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 1, 2013 at 11:32 pm

      Hi Babanature,

      Don’t worry – even though I wrote about quite a few, I don’t think any one person can have all of them, and that includes me too :)

      You are like me where online friends are concerned, and I think that’s because all our work is now online, and that’s how we met too. Perhaps the online friendships is what works for most bloggers, writers, and others who have their work online, as they are always online, and some of them do become very good friends over time – isn’t it?

      Of course you are a very good friend and have all the qualities for sure, there is no doubt about that. Perhaps that’s why you have good friends too, or relate well with those who want to become friends with you. Yes, some of it is passed down through our genes, while others happens when we work on ourselves.

      Oh no…I don’t think I have all the qualities I mentioned at all, even though I wrote about it, but I do have a few. I have a lot to work on myself, and that I alone know. So, such posts are a way to help me get better too :)

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views. Happy Friendship Day – I treasure your friendship :)

  20. B K chowla

    August 1, 2013 at 12:03 pm

    How can there be good friends and bad friends? You either have friends or you dont.If you have bad friends,there is something seriously wrong with you..Check it out

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 1, 2013 at 11:51 pm

      Hi BK,

      You are right there, but sometimes some people make bad friends too, who aren’t good friends as they thought they would be, and that’s how they get hurt, or their friendship breaks. Initially, or when you are young, you just cannot make out whether the person you’ve become friends with is the right one for you at all or not, though with experience you get to know the good ones.

      Thanks for stopping by and expressing your views :)

  21. Akash Kamalia

    August 1, 2013 at 2:53 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    This is one of the best posts I have recently come across. Your articles are really amazing and the best part is they reflect the practicality. Keep up the good work.

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 2, 2013 at 12:02 am

      Welcome to the blog Akash!

      Glad you liked the post, and thanks for your kind words of appreciation :)

      It feels good when your hard work pays off, and if my posts can help someone in some way, I’d only be too happy.

      Thanks for your encouraging words, and it’s because of wonderful people like you that I carry on :)

  22. Scott Craighead

    August 2, 2013 at 2:54 am

    Just being a good person and helping others is all it takes in my book. Nice read though. – Scott Craighead

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 2, 2013 at 2:22 pm

      Welcome to the blog Scott!

      Absolutely! You need to be a good and helpful person before being a good friend, and if you are that – your personality would attract the best of friends to you too.

      Thanks for stopping by, and I appreciate the shares :)

  23. Mary Stephenson

    August 2, 2013 at 7:36 am

    Hi Harleena

    Such a wonderful post on being a good friend. I have a good friend I worked with and upon her arrival I took to her right away, helping her to adjust to the new place. That was back in 2000 and we have been friends ever since. When we both got laid off we have talked over the phone a lot and I have always taken the time no matter how busy I was at the time to listen to her. Some of the stuff had been repeated over and over, but I knew she had to get the frustration out of her system and only I could understand her circumstances to our former job and all those annoying people we worked for. With our connections she helped me fight to get unemployment that was messed up and I helped her get another thousand dollars for the sale of her trailer. This was all done by the time we took to talk to each other. Listening when a friend needs it can be the best kind of friend. She will soon be moving and we will stay in contact as it is important to both of us.

    Thank you for the good points on friendships.

    Mary

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 2, 2013 at 3:48 pm

      Hi Mary – nice to have you back :)

      Glad you liked the post and could relate to it :)

      Nice to know about your friend, and yes, by helping her settle down and adjust, and thereafter listening to her you played your part of being a good friend. Sometimes all friends need is someone who they can talk to or let out their feelings, and I’m glad your friend had you there for her. Similarly, you had her too for the time you needed her, which is wonderful indeed.

      Yes, sometimes even when friends have to move out, it doesn’t end the relationship or the friendship. Instead, you find and make ways to reach out and connect with each other and there are many ways of doing that, if you really want to.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us :)

  24. Asaolu

    August 2, 2013 at 3:40 pm

    I think I should just keep quiet and don’t say a word. I don’t just know how some people reason. Harleena, most times i keep wondering if you are from this planet earth with the stuffs you are made off and the quality you packaged out for people. Then why won’t you be the best in everything you do? Just telling. Guess i’ve not said anything? Always happy that i found and know you, bcos there has never been a day i’ll check your blog and won’t be inspired. You are the best sis! Keep it up.

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 2, 2013 at 3:53 pm

      Hi Asaolu,

      Ah…why do you say that? :)

      It’s so sweet of you to say such words, but I’m very much from this very planet like you, and I don’t do all that I write, but I keep trying to become a better person. So, I guess my posts help me too, just like they help others. I’m glad that my posts inspire and motivate you in some way.

      Thanks for taking out your time to stop by here today, and it’s wonderful readers like you that motivate me to carry on too. :)

  25. Sylviane Nuccio

    August 3, 2013 at 7:50 am

    I really enjoyed this post, Harleena, and what you did to explain what it means to be a true friend using each letter of the word friendship is very cool en entertaining.

    I think that lack of trust and jealousy can really break a friendship, if that was truly a friendship to start with, that is.

    Interestingly I had four so called friends in my life, until I found out that they weren’t really my friends. They each one kind of betrayed me, but again, that was the type of “friends” that I used to subconsciously attract in the past.

    True friends are very hard to fiend, however, and one should preserve it when he finds it, just like a marriage.

    Thank you for another very informative post.

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 3, 2013 at 1:57 pm

      Hi Sylviane,

      Glad you enjoyed this post on how to be a good friend :)

      Ah…I just cracked my brains a little harder and came up with the acronym. I agree with you there because trust is the very foundation on which a friendship is based, or for that matter – any relationship, and if that’s broken, it can take years to get it back together – sometimes that too doesn’t happen.

      Sorry to hear about your friends, but as you rightly mentioned, they perhaps weren’t your real or true friends after all, which are hard to find – especially nowadays. Yes, and once you find one, you should treasure such a friend. :)

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us :)

  26. Neha

    August 4, 2013 at 7:58 am

    Hi Harleena,
    :) Happy Friendship Day :) to all, hello Harleena, I like this beautiful definition of “Friendship” which you have shared. well shared ! I really like it ! In fact I share this friendship definition on my Facebook profile on friendship day ! You won’t believe ! I got many liker & comment too on my this statement :) I’m really happy to catch beautiful friendship definition just because of you Harleena, so great thanks to you :)

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 5, 2013 at 8:44 am

      Welcome to the blog Neha!

      Happy Friendship Day to you as well :)

      Glad you liked the definition of ‘Friendship’, and thanks for sharing it with your friends too. Nice to know that people appreciated and liked it, which means that my efforts in creating it were worthwhile!

      Thanks for stopping by and for sharing this one with your friends – much appreciated :)

  27. Kumar Chandan

    August 4, 2013 at 9:30 pm

    Hi,Harleena mam,

    Thank for a great post once again. :)

    Well pointed, good friend is like true love, difficult to get. So, some time it brings love like problem. I mean, it is unfortunate that sometime we could not understand the true love of some people and same with friends. I think, recognizing a good friend as difficult as getting it. Isn’t it?
    On other hand, I just love the acronym of friendship. It consist true reality of good friend.

    Ten commandments are awesome and interesting indeed. We need to have always time for our friend, have to dilute our ego and try to listen them properly. I feel, lacking these three are main reasons of dying friendship.

    Thank You for a nice post.
    Happy friendship day! :)

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 5, 2013 at 11:26 am

      Hi Kumar,

      Glad you liked the post :)

      It sure is – and hard to find true love and true friendship nowadays. Yes, sometimes we aren’t all that good in really making friends or some people don’t know how to be a good friend, which is again needed for making a good friend. It’s more about how good you are yourself, before anything else – isn’t it?

      Nice to know that you liked the acronym and commandments, which I thought might add a different touch to this post and make it a little special one for Friendship Day. Yes, we do need to make time to be with out friends, to listen to them, and share our side of the story with them too, and lack of this, can end friendships sometimes. However, if you are good friends, you will undertsand each other, but it still is required that you devote a little time for your friends :)

      Thanks for stopping by, and Happy Friendship Day to you as well :)

  28. raj

    August 8, 2013 at 7:53 pm

    Friendship is the most beautiful relationship in someone’s life as it is the first relationship we understand by ourselves. A true friendship needs a lot of dedication, Loyalty, respect for others and many more things.

    You can find a good friend only if you are a good friend to others, its like give and take in a positive way. Give respect to your friendship & you will end up finding the best friend in the world, which will be even better than finding the best gf/bf in the world as true Friendship is the name of giving only without expecting something in return.

    I like the acronym you have used to describe FRIENDSHIP, it’s just superb. Thanks for writing about the best & the most beautiful relationship of the world. (y)

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 9, 2013 at 1:22 pm

      Welcome to the blog Raj!

      Yes indeed, friendship is a very treasured relationship though it requires you also to be a good person yourself first, before you can be a good friend to anyone.

      Trust, honesty, respect, care, understanding, love and the other things as mentioned in the acronym and commandments are essential if you really want to be a good friend to anyone. I agree, such friendships last long and go beyond the normal gf/bf relationships. I feel the more you give, the more you get – and that’s not about money or other materialistic things as most people think because there is much more to life than these things, isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us :)

  29. Viola Tam

    August 9, 2013 at 3:08 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Interesting blog discussion. I must admit that I do limit my time with friends whom I feel may have a negative impact on my own life. For example, as a married person, I value my ‘couples time’ during Saturdays and Sundays. I have no problem saying ‘No’ to my friends who are now single.

    From your list, I have picked ‘integrity’ as the most important requirement. When one feels that more intimate or sensitive information has been shared without first getting the consent from one’s friend, it is a formula for killing the existing friends.

    Thanks, Harleena, for your friendship and contribution!

    Viola Tam – The Business Mum

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 9, 2013 at 1:49 pm

      Hi Viola,

      Oh yes…most of the readers do leave their awesome comments and the discussion just gets better by the day :)

      That’s absolutely alright, or shall I say, such people aren’t friends in the real sense and are mere acquaintances that we meet along the way. It’s best to cut yourself away from such people and become friends with those who lift and boost your morale.

      I agree with you there, we have to see to our priorities in life and family always does come first, and in such cases we have to learn to say no to certain friends who might want our time too, or perhaps they can be given that time at a different set time period.

      Absolutely! Integrity or being transparent in a relationship is essential, and I think you can easily make out your real friends from the fake ones and simply let go of such people.

      Thanks for stopping by, and I appreciate and value our friendship too. :)

  30. Mansi Padhya

    August 12, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    Friendship is a great part of life. I must say there is nothing to compare Friendship! My friends are really such a like god for me & I love my friends. Thanks Webmaster for making remember my friends.

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 18, 2013 at 2:26 pm

      Welcome to the blog Mansi!

      It sure is – as without friends, I wonder where we’d be…isn’t it? Nice to know that you love your friend’s and value their friendship too.

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  31. Ferb

    August 18, 2013 at 11:19 am

    Amazing how could you come up with so many great articles. I dont know why I can be a good friend with my boy friends but on the other hand, I think differently when I a girl friend is trying to be friends and I find really hard to be friend with them.

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      August 18, 2013 at 2:32 pm

      Hi Ferb,

      Well, thank you for saying that! But I had to with Friendship Day being celebrated, and I’m I could share what I felt about how to be a good friend with everyone :)

      It is certainly easier to be friends with the same gender than the other gender because you can be more of you with them. With a girlfriend things become a lot different, don’t they? I’m sure you’d learn to be friends with them too, though it might take a little time.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us :)

  32. Rama

    September 11, 2013 at 3:52 pm

    Hi,

    In my views friendship has different meanings which depends upon the type of person with whom you have friendship.
    We also have true friends for whom we don’t care about money so much, even our close family members, wife or gf thoughts. We keep our friendship above all these lines.

    We do have friends with whom our views don’t match on certain issues but we still like them may be they have some other quality which help us to ignore their thoughts on other issues…

    And to get a good friend you need to sacrifice first then he/she will do that. In simple ways you need to teach him/her or make him feel that you care about him/her above your own needs.

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 2, 2013 at 10:05 am

      Welcome to the blog Rama!

      Sorry for having missed out on your comment, though I’m glad I’m catching up with it now :)

      I agree with you, the meaning of friendship would certainly differ from one person to another. Ideally, between true friendship, there is no question of money or ego problems, but sometimes it does come in.

      Yes indeed, sometimes friends with different views turn out to become very good friends too, and I think that hardly makes a difference. Any relationship demands a little sacrifice on your part and also your time, and I think you should do that without expecting anything in return, isn’t it? I guess if there is love, care, and trust in your friendship, it will only get better with time.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views :)

  33. lisa thomson

    October 11, 2013 at 9:02 pm

    I’m late to the party here, but I just had to comment. There should be more posts like this one! Thanks for the beautiful yet simple reminders. I have had some strange experiences with friends and am puzzled by their lack of compassion and…well all of the things on your list. I recently wrote a post expressing this frustration “When Friends Are Living Ghosts”.

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 2, 2013 at 10:09 am

      Welcome to the blog Lisa!

      Sorry for getting back with this comment – seem to have missed out on this one :)

      Glad you liked the post, and yes, sometimes we do need such reminders, don’t we? I agree with you there, sometimes what we expect isn’t what we get. But I guess if we want to be good friend’s with anyone, no one can really stop us – but if the other side doesn’t reciprocate, it becomes tough. Heading over to your blog to catch up too!

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts :)

  34. Ashish Jain

    December 2, 2013 at 9:46 am

    Another Great post Harleena.

    This post truly answers the question of how to be a good friend. you always write great posts. The way you write your posts makes me think that how deep and good thinker your are. I hope i can write like you.

    Thanks, it was great reading

    • Avatar of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 2, 2013 at 10:11 am

      Welcome to the blog Ashish!

      Glad you liked the post and could relate to it. Thank you for your kind words of appreciation. I guess I just am more of a ‘heart-writer’ and weave my thoughts into words. I’m sure you’d be good at your work too, and the more you write the better you become :)

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views. :)

      BTW – Do get yourself a Gravatar, so that others can see who we are talking to :)

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