How to Cope With Teenage Mood Swings

- | 72 Aha! comments | Posted in category: Family & Parenting

a girl showing signs of typical teenage mood swings

If you’ve been a parent, then I’m sure you must have wondered about how to deal with teenage mood swings.

Or perhaps thought as to why do these mood swings occur in teenagers in the first place.

For those who aren’t parents – remember the mood swings you had as a teen?

How were they, and how did your parents deal with such teenage mood swings?

I thought of raising this topic for discussion today as I often see the mood swings in my teens.

There are various reasons for this kind of behavior in teens that it often gets tough to pin-point the exact reason.

Parenting teens isn’t easy, and that’s why I thought about sharing how I help my teens cope with such mood swings with all of you.

“Adolescents are not monsters. They are just people trying to learn how to make it among the adults in the world, who are probably not so sure themselves.” ~ Virginia Satir

Teenage Mood Swings

You can sometimes compare the mood swings in teens to the personality of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde! One minute your teen is kind and loving, and the very next critical and hurtful – aren’t they?

On some days your teenagers might be all happy, controlled and thoughtful, while on other days they might just be ranting and raving about petty issues. Sounds familiar!

I’ve often seen my own teens ecstatic and gleeful in the mornings, but when they return from school they are angry, annoyed, disappointed, and sad on something that upset them.

Aren’t teens forever on an emotional roller ride? And what do they do in such cases?

They sit gloomily, retreat to their bedrooms, and sulk. Or then they turn introspective by analyzing themselves and others around them, which includes their parents, siblings, and other family members.

So, it’s not just the mood swings that affect teenagers – the whole family and people around them get affected too. But there are reasons for such teenage mood swings that create such an upheaval.

Causes of Mood Swings in Teens

Adolescence is a period of chaos and stress for everyone in the family. Most researchers believe that teenage mood swings are a combination of biological and emotional factors. They are as under:

1- Hormones and growth

The teenage year is the time when the body starts producing sex hormones and goes through a major growth spurt.

The physical change a teen undergoes makes them feel awkward, confused, uncomfortable, which destroys their sense of security.

All of this has an effect on their psychological state and results in conflicting teenager mood swings.

2- Matter of the brain

As most of you know, the brain reaches 90% of its full size by the age of six, and it’s believed to have reached its full development too.

Researchers believe that the brain changes much more during the teen years.

The grey matter on the outer part of the brain thickens with time, and reaches its peak in females when they are 11 years, and males when they are 12 years of age.

Once this process is over, the brain starts trimming the excess grey matter that’s not used, leaving the information the brain needs, and making the brain more efficient.

The prefrontal cortex is one of the last areas to go through this trimming process, which is the area of the brain responsible for judgment, planning, and self-control.

Thus, while teens have very strong emotions and passions, they don’t have the mechanisms in place to control these emotions. This is because their prefrontal cortex hasn’t caught up with them as yet.

This is one of the main reasons for teenage mood swings. The understanding of the teenage brain can help parents understand teenagers and some of their behaviors that they can’t easily control.

3- Identity formation

Most teens are typically preoccupied with identity formations or becoming entities, with lives separate from those of their parents. This often causes confusion and frustration in them.

With the fast changing world around them, they feel they aren’t able to cope or handle the pressure, which results in mood swings or an emotional state in them.

4- Emotional reactions

Mood swings in teenagers also results because they haven’t yet developed the ability to deal with the anxieties, frustrations, and pressures of life.

With their lives becoming more adult-like and complicated, teenagers don’t have the built-in coping mechanism like adults to help them deal. So, they are more prone to react emotionally to situations.

Feeling out of control as most teens feel, is a very uncomfortable feeling for anyone.

However, if the teenage mood swings are similar to normal mood swings a teenager goes through, then you can deal with them using the tips mentioned below.

“The young always have the same problem – how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.” ~ Quentin Crisp

Here is a wonderful video about how to cope with mood swings, which anyone can relate to.

Dr Robi ~ How to Cope with Mood Swings ~ YouTube Video

Dealing With Teenage Mood Swings

Try out these tips to deal with mood swings in teenagers, which might help them and you in more ways than one.

 Let them know they are not alone – As parents and caretakers, help your teens to talk to you or their friends.

Let them talk to people who are undergoing the same issues, which helps them feel they aren’t abnormal or the only ones going crazy!

 Get them plenty of rest – Your teens need rest and regular sleep, which helps keep their mind in good shape.

Lack of sleep is largely linked to depression, which results in teenage mood swings too.

 Diet and Exercise – Ensure your teens have a well-balanced, nourished meal. A good breakfast can make a lot of difference to your teen’s mood.

When your teens exercise, they release endorphin into the blood stream, which help ease frustration and regulate their mood.

• Help them get creative – Any creative activity like painting, drawing, cooking, writing, or building something can help your teenagers to express their emotions in a healthy way.

 Give them space – Most teens want space when they are moody or dealing with emotions. Sometimes they feel like crying or withdrawing, and that’s normal.

They want to be left alone, both physically and mentally. So, let them have their privacy to cope with things.

• Need love and attention – Just like you have your share of mood swings, teenage mood swings sometimes occur because they just want to be loved and noticed.

 Listen to and support them – Sometimes teens act moody when things don’t go their way. Try not reacting to your teenager’s mood swings, though I know it’s easier said than done!

Sometimes they do or say things just to get a reaction from you, but if you ignore that, you might change their attitude.

You need to show your support through thick and thin, if they are right. Of course, you need to set boundaries for your teens and ensure they don’t cross them.

Without being judgmental, just try and listen to them. Sometimes they want someone to hear them without talking in-between.

• Spend family time together – If you spend quality family time, the teenage mood swings will lessen because your teens would be less angry, anxious, secretive, withdrawn, or upset.

Go out for family outings, movies, picnics, or anyplace together to have fun together. Simply having a meal together can be great stress busters for your teens too.

 Relax and take a breather – Just taking things easy, stepping back, and looking at the situation from another angle will help your teens realize that things aren’t as bad as they seem.

 Wait a while – Let your teenagers know that if they wait for a while, the mood may pass as quickly as it came. So, they should wait before acting out on extreme emotions.

You as parents need to role play and teach your teens how to cope with their mood swings. You could do things like count back from 10, listen to music, or go for a walk.

If the mood swings in your teens are severely abnormal or prolonged, they would need professional help.

Warning Signs of Teenage Mood Swings

Sometimes your teens might show some warning signs that might be more than the normal mood swings teenagers undergo.

They can be due to more serious conditions like bipolar disorder, clinical depression, or other mental illness.

Keep a look out if the following warning signs are visible in your teen –

  • Irritable or sad for over two weeks.
  • Have extreme feelings of highs and lows.
  • Feelings of worthlessness.
  • Erratic behavior.
  • Failing grades.
  • Suspected substance abuse.
  • Refuses to participate in activities he/she once enjoyed.
  • Mood swings go beyond the mood swings of a normal teenager.
  • Talk of self harm or suicide, even if they are joking or trying to seek attention – get help.

There are many treatment options available to cope with teenage mood swings, depending on which might suit your teen best.

To name a few – behavioral therapy, cognitive therapy, literary therapy, non-prescriptive alternatives, talk therapy, or talking to a medical professional about mood swings.

“Teenagers are people who act like babies if they’re not treated like adults.” ~ MAD Magazine

The teen years are an emotional time for your teens and you as well. If you try talking to them, they raise their voice. If they open up with you one day, the next day they go into their own shell.

Remember the time when you were a teen and had those teenage mood swings! Didn’t you also experience some of the overwhelming emotions or the feelings of inadequacy?

Although nothing has changed, today’s teens face more pressures and complicated situations as compared to what you and I did. So, try putting yourself in their position and feel what they undergo.

Support your teen and be understanding of their turbulent emotions. Remember, if your teens don’t listen to you, there might be reasons for that – try to get to know those reasons.

Teens are typically critical of their parents in most cases. It’s not always fun parenting a teen, especially when you’re attacked on a personal level!

“Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath.” ~ Arnold H. Glasow

I agree, it’s not easy to deal with teenage mood swings, but if you know and love your child, you would use your best ways to deal with them. Keep moving forward and help your teen and yourself!

So, when things get too much, take a few deep breaths and tell yourself, “This too shall pass.”

Over to you

When you were teens, how did you deal with your mood swings? As parents or caretakers, how do you deal with teenage mood swings? Let me know in the comments below.

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos 



Show Comments

72 Comments - Read and share thoughts

  1. Ahsan

    March 29, 2013 at 11:57 am

    Hi Harleena Singh,

    Swinging mood of teens is now common. As you described sometimes they seems happy, again after sometime they seems worried or tensed. It is common for teenage boys or girls.

    I think at that time mentally & morally support is very important. They have to understand that they are not alone. Parents should act with them as friends which will help to decrease their tension.

    You raised good points about the teenager mood in different situation. Then you solved the problem with detail discussion. Lots of parents face this situation. They will feel now tensionless after reading your valuable content.

    Thanks for awesome post 🙂

    • Harleena Singh

      March 29, 2013 at 2:49 pm

      Hi Ahsan,

      You are absolutely right – teenage mood swings are common and very normal too. That’s because of their hormones and other various factors as mentioned above, something that you and I have also undergone when we were teens.

      Parental support, love, care, understanding is very important for teens during their growing years. I agree, parents need to bond better with their teens and express their love for them, which again is easier said than done because teenagers have their own mood when they want to come close to us and when not. But our role as parents and caretakers is to keep trying to connect and reach out to them and not leave them alone when they need us.

      Ah…I hope parents can take back something from this post, which is the main aim for writing it down. I know all that I undergo, so it might relate with the readers too. I guess even those who aren’t parents can remember their teenage years and share their experiences with everyone – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post.

      • Ahsan

        March 29, 2013 at 7:45 pm

        Hello Harleena Singh,

        By reading your article I recollect my childhood days. At that time sometime I became tensed. But after sometime I automatically understand if I show rude or sad manner, it makes sad my parents. So I become normal once again. But the world is changed. Now the teenagers seem more swinging in their action. So parents need good guideline to cope up with their children.

        The sites like your & other which write on our regular life style gives good direction for all of us.

        Again thanks for awesome post.

        • Harleena Singh

          March 29, 2013 at 10:51 pm

          Nice to know that Ahsan 🙂

          I guess we all as teens had out worrisome moments, and that I feel is part of being a teenager too. Yes, such teenage mood swings often sadden our parents, who I think need to be understanding at such times more than anything else.

          I agree, nowadays neither the parents nor the teens are who they were earlier – though the love and understanding a parent needs to show a teen should never change – isn’t it?

          Thanks for your kind words, and your visit. 🙂

  2. Babanature

    March 29, 2013 at 1:17 pm

    Hello Harleena,
    what a lovely post and a well parently thought of. 😀 Teenage mood swing is something natural and see that all teen kids must pass that route, and when passing through that stage, it is great for somebody to stand right by their side and that’s where we the parent comes in 😉 . Some kids do get lost because their parent did not stand by them during this stage and that’s bad. I’ll advice all parent to read and digest this article for a better parenting :).
    My little boy is getting older but not yet in the teen stage but this tip will definitely be useful. Thanks and happy easter in advance.

    • Harleena Singh

      March 29, 2013 at 7:20 pm

      Hi Babanature,

      Glad you liked the post, and I guess being a parent myself this topic was on my mind, which I thought of sharing with everyone today.:)

      You’re absolutely right – teenage mood swings are part of a teens life, and just like we underwent these mood swings, so will our teens. It only makes sense to understand and love our teens when they are undergoing this crucial phase of their life – isn’t it?

      Often time, parents and teens have a problem in connecting with each other, or they aren’t really able to communicate and share their thoughts with one another, which results in various issues with the teens. All I would suggest to all parents is talk to your kids and be there for them, as this is one sure way to get to know them better.

      Aha…you never really know how fast your kids grow – mine did just in-front of my eyes! So, wishing you the best with your little one whenever he steps into his teens. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views. 🙂

  3. Evan

    March 29, 2013 at 1:20 pm

    I remember being a teen myself, I regret about some things but I think I wasn’t that cruel and critilat like modern teens. You know, when I was kid the right things were forbidden and nor the bad things are allowed. Isn’t it a paradox. And every generation come across such things. the propaganda right now is too strong, sex, crime, the desire of getting more more and more (gadgets, money, power, attention).. All this impact kids and they are getting like small adults..

    • Harleena Singh

      March 29, 2013 at 7:23 pm

      Hi Evan,

      Nice to know that you could resonate with the post, and it brought back memories to the time when you were a teen yourself. 🙂

      I agree, I think when we were young, our times were different (though I assume you are much younger than me!), and perhaps we had more of family time where our parents had more time with us as compared to the hectic life nowadays, which hardly leaves any time with parents for their kids. I guess a majority of problems arise because of this point.

      Yes indeed, there are too many distractions nowadays for teenagers, which affects them in more ways than one – and all of this somewhere or the other has a role in their erratic behavior too. And like you mentioned, most teens are like small – adults because they are maturing much ahead of their age. Wish life were easier and simple for both, parents and teens. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. 🙂

  4. Shalu Sharma

    March 29, 2013 at 4:13 pm

    Ahh the teenagers, sometimes they are lost in their own worlds and sometimes they are doing strange things for attention. Blame it on the hormones – been there done that.

    As you say, giving them space to do their own things can give them a lot of confidence and it is the most appropriate way and parents can gain a lot of respect in return. I think this method alone can do wonders.

    Although my children are not teenagers yet but time flies. I think these tips will be useful to me. Thank you Harleena for this.

    • Harleena Singh

      March 29, 2013 at 7:45 pm

      Hi Shalu,

      Oh yes…they are surely a crazy lot, and that includes us too because we forget our times when we were teens;)

      I agree, teens do need their space to be on their own for a while and parents should let them do what they like instead of always wanting things their way. It only makes sense, more so, if you place yourself in their shoes, you too won’t like someone standing over you 24×7 – isn’t it? Wish more parents would understand this fact. However, it doesn’t mean just ignoring your teens or letting them be or do what they want without interfering, as that would have an adverse affect then.

      Time does fly, and it flies really fast! It just seems like yesterday that my teens were toddlers, so I can say that! I hope these tips come handy for you, when your child grows up to be a teen too. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. 🙂

  5. sapna

    March 29, 2013 at 4:14 pm

    HI Harleena Di,

    Awesome!

    I think teenage WILD mood swings are really common these days perhaps it is more than what we have undergone.

    At times they are enjoying their moment and the other minute they feel low. I can fully resonate with this as I see my daughter going through WILD mood swings.

    I think hormonal changes and prefrontal cortex(which inspite of having biology till 12th but not aware of) in the brain in a natural process which everyone has to undergo but Peer pressure is a bully these days and this really aggravate and pave the way for more serious problems.

    I think you’ve provided the best and valuable advice to all the readers and one which really strikes the most is listening to their woes and providing them the best solution or alternate to be able to handle that. Given them the space and make them enjoy time with family also solves problem to greater extent.

    Thanks Di for this great share.

    Sapna

    • Harleena Singh

      March 29, 2013 at 9:58 pm

      Hi Sapna,

      Absolutely! I don’t think we had such teenage mood swings as compared to the teenagers nowadays! Yes, we did have them but never went to such extremes.

      Ah..yes…even kids as young as your daughter have their own mood swings and they are tough to reason with and control too at times – isn’t it? That’s where the parenting skills come in. 🙂

      Yes indeed, besides the biological reasons, teenage mood swings often go to extreme due to peer pressure or the lack of understanding from the parents side, which is often because they don’t talk to their teens. I’ve noticed this with my kid’s when I get busy and don’t pay attention to them.

      Being a parent, I thought to write my experiences and all that I could gather online too so that it’s of help to other teen parents or caretakers. I think if our teens are involved more into the family, right from the start, they don’t really feel left out and in-fact some teens rarely get moody and gel very well with everyone. It all does come down to the way of parenting them 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing your views 🙂

  6. Hiten

    March 29, 2013 at 5:14 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    A wonderful post, indeed!

    I really enjoyed reading the whole post and learnt a lot from it. In particular, I’m so glad you also wrote about the warning signs of teenage mood swings. It reminded me of when I was a teenager. I’m pretty sure I was experiencing serious depression, although I kept the whole lot to myself. Luckily and thanks to God, in my early twenties, through seeking help I got over it. However, I didn’t get any help during my teenage years, when I probably needed it the most. I think it’s important for parents that have teenagers who have a low sense of self-worth, as I did during that period, to really make the effort to spend time with their teens and really understand without judgement what their teens are experiencing.

    Thank you.

    • Harleena Singh

      March 29, 2013 at 10:20 pm

      Hi Hiten,

      Glad you liked the post and found something of value in it too. 🙂

      Ah…I was just wondering whether I should be adding the warning signs in this post, but then thought that it is needed so that people can be aware and take timely action.

      Depression in teens is common and comes out in various forms. There was a phase when a teenage daughter of a known one started losing hair due to that, while another teen started getting acne and putting on weight. There are so many other ways depression shows up – it’s amazing!And like you said, you kept a lot to yourself, which I feel is a major reason as teens if not talked to, prefer remaining quiet or talking to their friends, and less to their parents or family members.

      I strongly feel the parents need to be more involved in their teens lives and know them better, which will avoid most of these mood swings.

      Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. 🙂

  7. Debbie

    March 30, 2013 at 1:21 am

    “This to shall Pass” Ever parent needs this printed out and hung up and refer to it daily if there are teens in the house. Teens can be moody and yes, you did a wonderful job of covering the reasons for it. This can help many parents of teens.

    I have one daughter that has a problem with milk. To this day if she drinks to much milk, every one around her is going to pay the price. We have learned to listen and not comment if we talk to her on those days. She still does not want to admit to the problem.

    I remember as a toddler once we learned this was her problem she was a completely different child.

    After being a parent of teens it is very important like you say to listen to them, be there for them when needed, try to guide them. You do have to get a little tough skinned so they don’t hurt you emotionally. And sometimes all you can do is just love them completely and unconditionally.

    Thanks for the reminder and bring back those memories. They do put a smile on my face.
    Debbie

    • Harleena Singh

      March 30, 2013 at 6:31 pm

      Hi Debbie,

      I agree, we need to frame those words and put them up and look at it everyday 🙂

      Teenage mood swings and everything related to what parents of teens undergo IS a passing phase and lasts for a few years, but then it does pass. I guess when you think about it this way – you feel better.

      I hope the post does help parents of teens and other caretakers too, because this stage of their’s is crucial and they need to be handled with utmost care.

      Lol…milk is a serious issue with both my kids too! I guess I’m a little strict with them regarding them having their milk twice a day, because of the complete food and dose of calcium it provides. It’s also said that the teen years are the most important as their bones are being formed, besides other things, so there’s no substitute for milk in our house!

      Yes indeed, we as parents and caretakers need to be more as friend’s with our teens, though without letting them cross the line. Once they open up with us and are able to communicate their feelings – things become easier. Oh yes…be very very thick skinned or else you are bound to get hurt, and their words can hurt a lot! I guess being parents we can’t help loving them, even though we aren’t treated the way we should be, because we understand the phase they are going through. Wish more parents would understand their teens.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your words of wisdom with us. Nice to know that it brought back pleasant memories and put a smile on your face. Just thinking of that puts a smile on mine too.:) Happy Easter too.:)

  8. Rauf Arshad

    March 30, 2013 at 2:39 am

    Superb article written nicely and well prepared, specially emotional. Article is great!

    • Harleena Singh

      March 30, 2013 at 6:33 pm

      Welcome to the blog Rauf!

      Glad you liked the article, and thanks for your warm and kind words. Hope it’s of help to parents and caretakers of teens. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  9. B K chowla

    March 30, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    Isnt it so very normal?
    We had almost similar moods while in our teens.
    More important than their moods is parents capacity to handle such moods.

    • Harleena Singh

      March 30, 2013 at 6:39 pm

      Hi BK,

      Absolutely! It IS a very normal part of the teenage years, so parents shouldn’t really fret and fume about it.

      We all underwent these teenage mood swings, though I think teens nowadays are maturing much earlier than their age, which results in these mood swings starting off ahead of time.

      I agree, if parents and caretakers are able to cope with their mood swings – things fall in place.

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  10. farouk

    March 30, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    That’s an important topic harleena, I didn’t find a lot of people writing about it, Thanks.
    I also like your new design.

    • Harleena Singh

      March 30, 2013 at 6:45 pm

      Hi Farouk – nice to have you back 🙂

      Glad you liked the topic. That’s surprising that not many people write about this important topic, or perhaps they don’t give it much importance as it’s a normal part of the teenage years. I guess the post would help those who have teens undergoing their share of mood swings and other behavioral problems.

      Ah…thanks for liking the design, though I haven’t changed anything much 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  11. Jodi

    March 30, 2013 at 4:02 pm

    My son is going through it right now. He thinks he is insane, but he’s doing OK. He can hold it together in front of others and saves it for us. This is a sign that he is good. I can handle it and love him through, though in the midst of it, he tells me I am handling it the worst way. He would say that about anything I do though.

    • Harleena Singh

      March 30, 2013 at 6:49 pm

      Hi Jodi – nice to have you back 🙂

      Ah…you can best relate to what’s written in the post because your son’s going through it all. I agree, he surely seems to be a pretty good teenager 🙂

      I guess you must be showering him with extra love, so he calls it the worst way…lol…:)But I think you are doing great and that’s the way we need to handle our teens too.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. 🙂

  12. Jon Mertz

    March 30, 2013 at 6:48 pm

    Great points and things to do, Harleena. Another important angle is for the parents to not let the mood swings consume them. They need breaks. They need to keep their relationship strong to navigate through the teen years successfully. This strength will set a good example that may help down the road for your teens, but also ensure the family remains strong in the present times. Thanks! Jon

    • Harleena Singh

      March 31, 2013 at 6:32 pm

      Hi Jon,

      Glad you could resonate with all that’s written 🙂

      Absolutely! You raised a very good point about parents not letting teenage mood swings affect them, because if that happens there’s all the more reason for them to lose their cool, which is again but natural.

      The relationship between parents and their teens needs to be strong and get stronger by the day for years to come. It’s a bond which needs to be nurtured and worked on by both sides, though parents need to work more on it and show their maturity most of the time.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. Happy Easter as well. 🙂

  13. Oluwaseun Babajide

    March 31, 2013 at 12:33 am

    My baby girl is 1 year, 5 months. I am expecting another girl in 2 month’s time. I have never noticed mood swings yet with her. I can now predict that I have a lot of work to do. This why I always follow your articles, it prepares me for the great future ahead. When the time comes, I will come back to this post and comment. 🙂

    For me mood swing is natural. I totally agree with all your points. This is my favorite “Help them get creative”. To involve them in painting, drawing, building (Bob the builder? hahah) etc these tips will surely help.

    Give them space? Hmmm, wouldn’t this cause more damage? I thought they want more attention? Am I missing something here?

    Thanks for sharing this topic. You are simply the best. 🙂
    Seun

    • Harleena Singh

      April 1, 2013 at 7:54 pm

      Hi Seun,

      What an adorable age indeed – it brought back good memories of my kids when they were that young. 🙂

      Ah…she is still a baby I guess and must be very good to have no mood swings, as some kids are like that, while others would cry their hearts out to seek attention. Nevertheless, at that age they mainly cry because either they are wet, hungry, or sleepy – those are their 3 main demands. Lovely age to be in.

      Oh yes…you need to take care of them right from the time they are young, as they say you should start young with your kids, whether it’s giving them time, playing, guiding, or disciplining them. It all start from an early age, so that they get used to it all by the time they reach their teens or beyond.

      Absolutely! Just like we have our share of mood swings sometimes, so do teens and it’s pretty healthy and normal. I guess if we can keep them occupied in doing something creative – it keeps their mind occupied too.

      By giving them more space I meant that when they have their mood swings, just give them some time alone to gather themselves up. They may want to cry, discuss things with friends or siblings, introspect – anything to be left alone. But yes, not for long. We need to go and reach out to them,talk to them, and discuss things so that they lighten themselves up. I see this with me teens that if they are troubled and I ask them the problem, they aren’t always receptive. I need to give them time to gather themselves, and within a few hours they become alright and are ready to talk.

      Thank so much for stopping by Seun. And I need to especially thank YOU for having me over at your blog for the interview too. It was indeed an honor 🙂

  14. Mayura

    March 31, 2013 at 1:39 am

    Hi Harleena,

    When you talk about your kids’ mood after school, it got me thinking. Not about my school days. But, how about parents after work?

    Last week I’ve seen one of my uncles being exhausted after some work and was kinda angry. No harm done, but if a bad reaction occurs, that can be affect on a child, no? 🙂 Just sayin’. You know, such incidents get my attention.

    Well… Well… No gibberish no more 😉 lol…

    Actually I’ve experienced how mood swings work on teenagers when I observe my bros. They show ’em off. So anyone would say when mood swing happens with ’em. Ah… Me too 🙂 But I’m not that expressive Harleena.

    Now I feel it’s dangerous than expressing. ‘Cause when I go through the warning signs you have depicted, I had most of ’em dear. Mostly worthlessness, sadness, failing grades and refusing to participate. Ugh… Did I almost killed myself? I hope not 🙂 May be I’ve learnt to do a lot that way like listening to others.

    Anyway have fun all the way Harleena 😉 Happy Weekend dear…

    Cheers…

    • Harleena Singh

      April 1, 2013 at 8:21 pm

      Hi Mayura,

      Oh yes…I have noticed that with my kids when they are back from school, which could also be because they are tired out or have had a bad day at school, though such times are rare – but they do occur. Yes, when and if both parents are working or not there to receive their children, that again is not good, as their mood swings can really go off swinging into thin air!

      You are absolutely right! When parents return from work, or even if they are working from home – they aren’t all the receptive to their kids and might get angry or just not pay attention to them. This affects them in more ways than one. I’ve been guilty of this at times too, till I made it a routine to stop all work and just be there with them when they are back. That’s priority for me then.

      I know from our past talks about the time when you were young etc. – you couldn’t be having many mood swings at all, though your brothers are different from you it seems, just as all siblings are mostly from each other. I know for one – my sister is way different from me, and I feel she’s more moody than me….but I guess she might say the same about me too. 🙂

      Sorry to hear that you had most of the warning signs, which obviously you didn’t know when you were that young Mayura, and I don’t blame you one bit for it. I know I shouldn’t be saying this, but I think parenting played a major role in your case. I’m glad you got over that phase, and I feel you worked on yourself and developed into a different person from what you were then, which is commendable (as I say so often for you!). I know it’s not easy to fight your way against all odds, but you did just that. And this is all the more reason you are going to make sure all of this never happens with your kid’s – isn’t it? So, there are always good and positive things to take out even from the bad and negative things. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with all of us. Have a nice week ahead too. 🙂

  15. Natasha

    March 31, 2013 at 1:41 am

    I’d add one thing to the list. Great article, btw. Get them involved! Working with teens, and remembering from my teenage years, getting a teen involved in something where they are part of a community and are active contributers does wonders. They feel important and respected and part-of.

    • Harleena Singh

      April 1, 2013 at 8:26 pm

      Welcome to the blog Natasha!

      Glad you liked the article and could relate to it. 🙂

      I agree with your point of getting them involved, and that’s similar to getting them to be creative as I mentioned in the post. I guess when they remain busy, their mood swings won’t really occur.

      I agree, they do feel important, respected, and just the feeling that they too are part of something works wonders for them.

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  16. Annie André

    March 31, 2013 at 12:56 pm

    What a great explanation of why teenagers go through mood swings. Everytime My sons have mood swings i try to remember how at times when i was pregnant, I had uncontrollable mood swings. Little things would make me cry, anger me or make me go off the deep end and then the next day I would scratch my head wondering why I acted so irrationally.

    As parents we need to be a bit more empathetic to teenagers situation and inability to fully control their emotions.

    My eldest son went through a horrible transition period last year when he was 15 and 15. This year hs is 16 and will be 17 by July and he is like a different person. It literally is like he is Dr. Hyde and Mr. Jekyll as you stated. I am embarking on another mood swing period with my middle son who is just 15 and I am not looking forward to it.

    I am going to try to be more aware and take some of the steps you mentioned like giving him more space, well hoping that he sleeps more..
    Thanks Harleena..

    🙂 happy easter.

    • Harleena Singh

      April 1, 2013 at 9:39 pm

      Hi Annie,

      Glad you liked the post. 🙂

      Yes indeed, we can understand teenage mood swings better when we try to remember the time we have such moods or when we place ourselves into their shoes. Ah…the mood swings during pregnancy can surely drive us crazy, though not all women have them.

      I can well understand what your son must be undergoing, because those are the crucial teenage years in most teens…the 15-16-17 years so to say. I’ve seen it with my elder daughter and am experiencing it all over again with my younger one too, so can well relate! I guess I keep telling myself that this too shall pass, and wait for the time when they grow out of these years. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences. Hope you had a nice Easter too 🙂

  17. RobG

    March 31, 2013 at 9:24 pm

    Hello Harleena, If you have any kids then you will experience this at one point. I think these days if becoming harder to being a teenager because there’s so much more to deal with now then when we were growing up.

    Thanks so much for a very interesting post my friend. Have a great weekend.

    • Harleena Singh

      April 1, 2013 at 9:44 pm

      Hi Rob,

      Oh yes…this post is a result of my own experiences of my own teens, just as I mentioned in the post, which I’m sure every teenage parent can relate to. 🙂

      I agree, our times were so much different as compared to all that teens have to undergo nowadays. Life is tougher for them as compared, though as parents I strongly feel a lot lies in our hand to make it easier for them – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us. 🙂

  18. Ashley

    April 1, 2013 at 12:33 am

    I don’t remember having mood swings in that sense as a teenager but I do remember getting annoyed quite frequently with my brother and mother because I did not have a good relationship with them and I wanted to relate to them better but it seemed impossible at that time.

    Living in close quarters with people you don’t get along well with and having to follow rules that don’t fit you will drive anyone crazy! Plus I didn’t know how to communicate my thoughts and feelings well at that time either….

    Great tips you have, Harleena – I would follow all of them when my little one becomes a teen and hope to have a better relationship with her than I had with my mother at that time and help her ease her transition into adulthood.

    • Harleena Singh

      April 1, 2013 at 9:53 pm

      Hi Ashley,

      I can understand what you said about your mood swings as a teen because I too don’t remember having such mood swings during my time, except that I was sometimes upset about things, though my parents were quick to get around me and get things sorted out.

      I agree, when things aren’t working well at home, children and teens are affected in more ways than one and the anger is often one way to get it all out.

      Ah…you have a long way to go am sure, though hope these tips helps when your little one is of age. I’ve often noticed, as I was talking to Mayura above, that those kids and teens who haven’t had a very good relationship with their parents, or had less of communication with them, make sure they don’t repeat those same things with their own kids. And they make awesome parents too, which I’m sure you would too.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post. 🙂

  19. Sylviane Nuccio

    April 1, 2013 at 5:06 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Aren’t we so lucky nowadays to understand those things? As I was reading your post I couldn’t help thinking of the days when people had no such knowledge about teenage mood swings, and when it was much tougher to be a child and a teenager.

    It’s not that far down in time, just thinking my mother’s generation. I can’t help remembering how she used to tell me that back then children and teenagers weren’t not allowed to “be” as much as they were in my generation and the next.

    I don’t have any children, but thinking about my own teenage years, I do not remember being moody at all, but I do remember my lack of good judgment.

    When you’re a teenager everything is a BIG deal and everything bad that happens to you is like the end of the world.

    Gosh, I do not miss those days by any mean 🙂 I think that it’s tough to be a teenager, so thank you so much for them and their parents to have written such a useful post.

    • Harleena Singh

      April 1, 2013 at 10:19 pm

      Hi Sylviane,

      Glad you could resonate with the post. 🙂

      Yes indeed, we are lucky to understand teenage mood swings as compared to the earlier days when we could only assume or wonder why teens were undergoing such erratic moods. Nor could we really help them that time, though I think their mood swings weren’t as bad as what they’ve become now.

      Ah…I can understand what your Mom told you, which I think most Moms did way back then, not to mention their lesson of not being heard and just seen! And I think we were much more disciplined and listened more to our parents as compared to the teens nowadays. `

      I agree, as teenagers the world starts and ends with us, that’s what they think and everything happening to them is a huge thing for them, even if it’s not otherwise.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. 🙂

  20. Vincent Nguyen

    April 1, 2013 at 9:15 am

    Although I’m currently an 18 year old teenager myself, I found this to be an interesting read.

    I don’t think I’ve ever had that whole mood swing stage though. I’ve lived with my grandparents for pretty much my whole life and only recently moved to Arizona and am now living with my dad and stepmom.

    Truthfully, they aren’t exactly the most empathetic people. They’re far from bad, they’re actually good parents, but I’m curious to see how they would handle a rebellious, mood swinging teenager at their fullest! I can’t imagine them dealing with it using compassion and “letting them know they’re not alone.”

    • Harleena Singh

      April 2, 2013 at 12:09 am

      Hi Vincent,

      That’s great! Nice to know that you could relate to the post, being a teen yourself. 🙂

      I agree, not all teens undergo such mood swings, though most do. So, you are one of the lucky ones I guess. Or should I say your grandparents or parents are lucky!

      I guess your parents never had to deal with teenage mood swings, or as you mentioned, I wonder how they would have managed things. It does require a lot of patience and time, besides the effort to really take care of your teens when they are undergoing that crucial phase of their life.

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  21. Carolyn

    April 1, 2013 at 11:33 pm

    Hi Harleena, Yes, with three teenage girls in the house, I am all too familiar with teenage mood swings. You bring up many great points here, both with reasons why their moods swing and how to deal with these swings. I tell you, if I had to repeat any decade of my life, my teenage years would fall dead last on my list!

    Your suggestions are all spot on. Helping teens to get perspective and realize that “this too shall pass” can definitely help teens escape from the whirlpool of their emotions. Another way to help that I have found is to get them together with extended family, especially grandparents. For some reason, skipping a generation seems to help diffuse the situation and give teens the reassurance of love and support without too many expectations!

    Thanks so much for this helpful article, Harleena!

    • Harleena Singh

      April 2, 2013 at 12:36 am

      Hi Carolyn,

      Oh yes…you are an ideal parent dealing with three teens and would know best about teenage mood swings. 🙂

      Nice to know that you agree with the points mentioned, which means I’m on the right lines. Ah..I always say that ‘this too shall pass’ whenever I’m in a spot and I know it will as I remember my teen years, though I was a good teen (I think!)

      You’re right about getting them together with our extended family, and that’s something I’ve noticed too. When they are with their grandparents or other family members, they put their best foot forward and behave nice. Not to mention how the grandparents spoil them too, which is something I face when I visit my Dad – but it’s still worth it all. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with all of us. 🙂

      • Carolyn

        April 2, 2013 at 6:15 am

        Lol, no, I’m not the ideal parent, but I am living with three teenage girls which qualifies me to say without hesitation that you are spot on with this article!

        Yes, our fathers are very similar. How wonderful it would be for them to meet someday!

        Now, if someone would only develop an app to deal with moody teenagers, I would be happy to review it. 😉

        • Harleena Singh

          April 3, 2013 at 7:49 pm

          But you are much more experienced with teenage mood swings as compared to many of us 🙂

          And if it comes from you – I take it as an accomplishment!

          I too wish they could meet someday – it would indeed be the day. Lol…I agree, no one other than you would be apt for reviewing such an app – IF ever one’s made, though I pity the person making it 🙂

          Thanks once again. 🙂

  22. Anne

    April 2, 2013 at 12:00 am

    Great advice, Harleena. I can totally relate to this post as I have 2 teens and one pre-teen.
    Family security goes a long way to alleviating some of their distress. They know that they can come to their parents when things aren’t working out or when they feel low.

    I had other things to deal with when I was a teenager. I can’t remember my mood swings because my mind was always full of either surviving abuse, poverty, or something else 🙂

    • Harleena Singh

      April 2, 2013 at 12:45 am

      Hi Anne,

      Glad you liked the post and could relate to it. 🙂

      I agree – if kids feel secure and are open with their parents, and if their channels of communication are open – it makes them feel that they can always come to them to discuss about anything.

      I can understand things weren’t all that good for you in your teen years, though you got over it all, which is commendable. I guess in such a situation you wouldn’t have the time nor thought to think about mood swings.

      Thanks for stopping by. Have a nice day ahead 🙂

      • Millie Whaley

        November 18, 2013 at 10:17 pm

        Do you have any advise for step families. My daughter is 13 and she is a bright girl, good grades very active in gymnastics and band. , but her silence towards us is emotionally stressful. We are super open with her and we try daily to talk to her. . Her step dad is amazing to her but she is having trouble opening up.

  23. June

    April 2, 2013 at 1:37 am

    Great article Harleena. I love the way you’ve taken time to go in depth about teenage mood swings.

    I can so easily identify to this. I’ve got three daughters so I’ve had to go through it three times. It was hard for me because they’ve got big age gaps between them. So, after I dealt with one and got my sanity back, the next one became a teenager. I had to go through it all over again. Believe me, it wasn’t easy! There were times when I wanted to run away and leave them.

    My youngest is 18. She gave me hell for as while. I even wrote an article on my blog titled ‘Mothers Are From Jupiter and Teenage Daughters From Saturn’. It was written out of frustration and anger at the time.

    But the worse is now over. It’s important to create time to spend with your teenager, talk to them and make them feel loved and appreciated. Also, show an interest in their lives and get to know their friends. If possible be their friend as well as mum. It’s not always easy to do that but it does help.

    The good thing is that they’ve taught me how to be patient, understanding and to love when hate was raging inside of me. Raising them also taught me about who I am as a woman.

    Thanks for sharing these great tips.

    • Harleena Singh

      April 2, 2013 at 11:05 am

      Hi June,

      Glad you liked the article, and yes, because I have teens who also undergo mood swings sometimes, I thought sharing my experiences might help others. 🙂

      Oh dear…three of them with age gaps between them! You surely must have felt like running away! I can well imagine your state with three, even though I have just two to take care of, and have the same feelings sometimes.

      Glad that phase is over for you, though for me it’s still very much on the way. I guess by the time they cross 19 things settle down, though parenting is a never ending job. With older teens or those stepping into their adult life, there’s a whole lot of different issues that need to be handled – isn’t it?

      I agree with all that you said. Parents need to be with their teens, more as their friend and companion, though keeping their boundaries in line. They need all the more to be loved and appreciated for their efforts, which I think is quite like us elders too – after all who doesn’t want that.

      Our teens do teach us a lot of patience and how to be more compassionate and understanding, which comes to us only with time and once we start parenting.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing the post. 🙂

  24. Adrienne

    April 2, 2013 at 4:35 am

    Oh my gosh Harleena, it seems like they know so much more today then they did when I was a teen. Or let’s just say they probably knew a lot but the information wasn’t readily available.

    Of course since I don’t have kids and none of my immediate family are teens anymore I don’t really see this but it’s great to know that there is so much research out there to help parents understand how to help their kids as they go through this stuff. I think it scares me just thinking of all the pressure kids have these days. A heck of a lot more then I ever had so I can’t even image all the things they have to go through.

    Whenever anyone who is a parent though wants to know something about their kids they can count on you to share whatever it is that they may need to know. I bet if they can’t find it here on your blog that all they have to do is ask and I bet you’ve already researched it.

    Your posts are so thorough and chalked full of great information. So even though I don’t have teens I’ll just say thanks from all those parents who are loving this post.

    ~Adrienne

    • Harleena Singh

      April 2, 2013 at 7:11 pm

      Hi Adrienne,

      Absolutely! Teens nowadays know way beyond than what we did at our time. I guess it’s all related somewhere to the latest trends and the times, which again I feel are much ahead of ours- the changing generations I would say.

      You’re lucky to not have any teens presently in your family, though the elder lots would surely be able to relate to teenage mood swings – when their kids were teens. But again, those times were different and a lots changed since then. I’m also glad that there’s a lot of information and support to help parents and teens undergoing this crucial phase in their life.

      Ah…that’s so kind of you to say that. I guess being a parent myself helps me share my experiences, and it helps people if they too can relate to it. It’s good to know that these posts help people in some ways, especially if they are parents. I do want to expand more of my blog community and have some kind of a place for more discussions to take place, which with time I plan doing – again with the aim to help those who might need it. 🙂

      I need to thank YOU for being an inspiration to me, in more ways than one. I do a lot of my learning from your posts too, so directly as I said earlier – I am a student in progress.

      Thanks for stopping by, and motivating me to carry on – your words mean a lot to me. Have a lovely day ahead 🙂

  25. Mary Stephenson

    April 2, 2013 at 7:18 am

    Hi Harleena

    When I was a teen (more years than I care to think about) I was silent a lot of the time. But even before that I never did say much about my day, so going into the teen years really wasn’t much different. But then again we drank milk, never sodas. Didn’t eat chemically treated foods. My dad grew a garden, we had our own chickens and eggs. Ate fresh fruit and I also got plenty of sleep at night. Didn’t own a TV either. Even as a family, none of us was high-strung with emotions of any kind.

    But my daughter ending up being more like my husband’s family and she would have mood swings even when she was a young child. It would take a lot to get me angry and when I do it takes me much longer to get over it. She would tick me off and then leave the house and comeback like nothing happened, well I was not over her attitude, so we did have a few issues on that one. When she did get way out of hand I would “pull rank” on her and let her know that she was out of line. But most of the time we just went with the flow.

    Although on one particular day she slammed her bedroom door because she wasn’t going to get to do what she wanted to. My husband immediately opened up her door and told her “if you slam the door again you will not have a door to slam, I will remove it.” She knew he meant it and never did that again. We were okay with her being upset and understood that, but there was always appropriate behavior for disappointment not door slamming.

    Lots of great advice for parents of teens.

    Mary

    • Harleena Singh

      April 2, 2013 at 8:01 pm

      Hi Mary,

      Glad you could relate to the post. 🙂

      I can well relate to you, as some teens are of the quieter kind. More so, the teens during our time were much more calmer and quieter as compared to the teens nowadays. The rule of being seen and not heard was what my Mom say worked that time more than anything else. And they were much more disciplined, though I wonder if they were all that open and communicative with their parents.

      You’re right – we were much too good and listened to our parents, where eating nourishing food was concerned, or even going out alone or staying over beyond a respectable time in the evening. Ah…I can so well relate to a garden and staying away from the chemically treated food, fruits, and vegetables we get nowadays, as it was the very same during my Mom’s time as she told me. Yes, because there was no television, cell phones, Internet – and none of such distractions, we all got more of sleep as compared to the kids and teens, and even adults nowadays. We might not realize it, but major of our health problems arise from the lack of sleep too.

      I guess time have changed now, and with it the technology and our lifestyles. Everything and everybody seems to always be in a rush or short of time for anything or anyone. It saddens me, and I often wonder and sometimes wish for a life less complicated with all these hassles.

      I can understand your ordeal with your teen daughter, and it must’ve been tough for you because you never went through all of this yourself. Our kids might not realize it and may think differently about us, but their mood swings and behavior, and our reaction to it affects us in more ways than one. I agree, we sometimes have to set boundaries for our teens, or else they WILL go out of line. I liked the firm step your husband took regarding the door incident, and sometimes that’s the only way to handle teenage mood swings, though we have to harden ourselves for taking such steps.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with all of us. 🙂

  26. Donna Merrill

    April 2, 2013 at 8:39 am

    Harleena, You have done it again! Awesome subject!

    Mood Changes especially in teen years can come from so many reasons. I’m a strong believer in dietary causes. Having lived through growing a teen, I’ve done a lot of research to cope with the situation.

    In the video, diet is mentioned and seritonin. Two great ways to check on those mood swings.

    But then there are those hormones form hell! And also the environmental issues. Put them all together, and you are going to deal with mood swings any way you look at it.

    I like the advice you gave of how to deal with it. Boundary setting on their behavior is important. Spending time with them too. Even though they might tell you they don’t wan to …they really do.

    Thanks again,
    Donna

    • Harleena Singh

      April 2, 2013 at 8:13 pm

      Hi Donna,

      Aha…thanks for your kind words 🙂

      Yes indeed, there are so-so many reasons for teenage mood swings that it gets tough to pin-point which ones are actually affecting them.

      I agree, diet is a major cause, and so is sleep and exercise. These are a few important facts parents tend to side-track and ignore because they don’t really know how these can affect their mood swings. The hormones secreted and the nourishment the body needs all affect the teens, besides the other factors. I think the video covered it all up very well there.

      All parents must set boundaries for their kids and teens, which is one way of disciplining them, though with love and understanding. Spending time IS the most important thing a parent can do for their kids and teens, and there should be no compromise there 🙂

      We might not realize it but these factors somewhere even affect the mood swings of adults – isn’t it? I guess if we know how to cope with them we can be ready for such times.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post. 🙂

  27. Gagandeep Singh

    April 2, 2013 at 5:13 pm

    Now a days teenagers are self obssesd. Sometimes they feel frustrated and irritated but at some points coll and friendly. This is what teenage is all about. Thanx for sharing this post. Teenage is really unpredictable age.

    • Harleena Singh

      April 2, 2013 at 8:16 pm

      Welcome to the blog Gagandeep!

      I agree, most teens go through an emotional roller coaster ride and have their share of good and bad times. I guess they really can’t help themselves, though if they or their parents know ways to cope with their mood swings it might help. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

      • Gagandeep Singh

        April 2, 2013 at 11:09 pm

        I completely agree with you Mam. 🙂

        • Harleena Singh

          April 3, 2013 at 7:18 pm

          Thanks once again Gagandeep, and glad you agree too 🙂

  28. Sue Neal

    April 2, 2013 at 6:15 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    My teenage years are a distant memory but I remember being all over the place, emotionally, and I don’t think my parents were able to cope with this very well – they were relatively ‘elderly’ parents (my Mum was over 40 when I was born) and sadly I didn’t feel able to talk to them very easily about a lot of emotional issues that I was dealing with. Don’t get me wrong, they were very loving, but there was a certain awkwardness about our relationships.

    You’ve given some great advice here, Harleena – I’m sure it’ll be an enormous help to anyone dealing with teenagers. Communication – that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Good communication is the answer to so many of our problems in life – it’s a shame we’re often so bad at it! Sue

    • Harleena Singh

      April 2, 2013 at 8:27 pm

      Hi Sue,

      Nice to hear about your teen years. I can understand your parents being more on the elder side, which might have been a little tough on them.

      Oh yes…when the age gap is too much, as must’ve been in you and your parents case, there is bound to be a communication gap, which of course is not the fault of either sides but something beyond your control. Not to mention that we sometimes have that with our kids too, even when the age gap isn’t all that much.

      Yes, I strongly feel if the channels of communication are open with their parents, teenagers will have less of mood swings – mainly because they are able to express and share their feelings, which is very important. Yes, they have their friends for that too, but what advice and support parents and family can give, friend’s can’t. And yes, communication helps any relationship get better – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us. 🙂

  29. Cathy Taughinbaugh

    April 5, 2013 at 2:07 am

    Such an important topic, Harleena. I think your line – “The prefrontal cortex is one of the last areas to go through this trimming process, which is the area of the brain responsible for judgment, planning, and self-control.” explains so much. The teen brain is still in the development stages. That is why mood swings as well as many other interesting behaviors characterize the teenage years. Great information here on how to cope with your teen. And again, it is only a temporary time in their life.

    • Harleena Singh

      April 5, 2013 at 3:51 pm

      Hi Cathy,

      Yes indeed, knowing and reading more about the brain made me realize so many things that are related to teenage mood swings. Their brain isn’t fully developed, and it’s not actually their fault for the way they behave half the time.

      It is a passing phase as we all know, and something that we all have undergone. Just wish more parents would realize this fact and understand and support their teens more during this crucial age.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post. 🙂

  30. Bushra

    December 25, 2013 at 12:49 pm

    uh hello! I know this is weird because mostly parents of teens comment but I am a teen :/
    Well I am 17, I turned 17 this september… I get a lot of mood swings, specially recently.. And my parents are business persons so I don’t want to bother them with my problems..there is another thing here, I have a boyfriend we have been together for a year and mostly I don’t know what happens but I get all upset around him and react too much on things… well, my parents don’t like it if we meet so we don’t meet much, last time we met was 2 or 3 months ago.. I have an elder sister too, she’s 25… and everybody in my house is really busy and I don’t get to hang out with my friends either… And I want a pet but my parents won’t let me have one I guess.
    2 years ago I got a tattoo and since then I’ve pretty much grounded.. and I didn’t do a very good result on my board exam so I guess my parents think I’m useless… oh and another thing is there that my mum brought a counselor for me after I got the tattoo ( I sneaked out, to get the tattoo… I did not take their permission.. Okay I guess I’ve said a lot, my question is, am I abnormal? Do I have mental problems?

    • Harleena Singh

      December 26, 2013 at 10:21 am

      Welcome to the blog Bushra!

      No worries at all. The doors of my blog are open for everyone, whether parents or teens and I can well understand your situation being a Mom of teen kids too 🙂

      Teenage mood swings are known to occur and that’s very normal. I see my teens going through such mood swings too and it does get me angry at times, but because I know it’s a passing phase, and something all parents have also gone through, I understand and let it be. Your parents are perhaps right about you not meeting your boyfriend because this isn’t the age for anything other than concentrating on studies and trying to build a career. All parents think alike in such cases I think, and that’s because they are concerned for their children’s well being.

      Sorry about the busy lives everyone seems to be leading in your house, and I can imagine your loneliness in such a case. A pet would surely help, it does help us a great deal because though at home, me and my hubby keep busy too, though weekends we have fun with our kids and do spend time at least during the meal times and otherwise during the day, which is purely family time with them. Getting a Tattoo is no harm done, and perhaps if you can seek their permission before doing things that you know they might not like, it might not make them this angry, or perhaps they’d be alright with the idea.

      What I can make out from your talks here is that teenage mood swings are normal in your age. All you need is the love and support of your parents, who seem rather busy with work. Let me ask you, have you ever tried going ahead and talking to your Mom or Dad about your feelings, or just asked them for their time to sit and talk? Perhaps you wait for them to do the same, but if they aren’t as they don’t realize it, you go ahead? Even your sister, if you reach out will make a very good friend – sisters usually do.

      You are NOT abnormal at all, and I think you are very lively girl but somewhere along the line you seem to have lost the connection with your loved ones that you need to work on. Go out and talk to them, discuss or tell them you want their time, attention, and want to share things with them. They are your parents after all, so would surely understand. Give it a try and let me know how it goes 🙂

      Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead 🙂

      • Bushra

        December 27, 2013 at 9:13 pm

        Thank you very much for the reply! 🙂
        And well, I don’t know I do talk with them I do try to spend time with them. I even cook food and help with grocery shopping and stuff.. But I feel like they don’t understand me :/
        And sometimes they’re unnecessarily rude to me, And as I mentioned before, I really don’t want to bother my parents, and moreover… mum and dad had some problems between them and I just don’t want to give them pain because they already have a lot of that… And I today I feel totally different than how I felt the day I posted it, so ya :/
        Well, anyways thank you so much for the answer, I really am glad you approved me normal 🙂
        you have a nice week too!

        • Harleena Singh

          December 30, 2013 at 6:35 pm

          I can understand you Bushra 🙂

          Perhaps you are trying your best from your side, and they might not be able to see all that you do, or the effort you are putting in, and sometimes to make them realize it, you need to tell them verbally that you need them or their time too. No harm trying that out, it might just work. Hmm…I don’t know the problem between your parents, which could also be the reason that their minds are diverted to different matters and not on you at all, and I hope their problems are resolved soon. Yes, we tend to have those roller coaster – up and down kind of feelings. Nevertheless, the more you talk out things, with your sis, friend’s, and if possible your parents, the better you feel 🙂

          Oh yes…you are more than normal little girl, don’t worry about it at all. Such things are known to happen when you are in your teen. You always have this blog as a platform to come and share whatever is on your mind with me 🙂

          Thanks once again for stopping by, and wishing you a very Happy New Year, well in advance 🙂

          • Bushra

            January 9, 2014 at 2:00 pm

            Thankyou very much!:) And yes thanks again, I am really fond of this blog and Happy New Year to you too, May Allah bless us all with health and happiness

  31. Sandy

    January 3, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    Ah the lovely teenage years. I am going through this with my third daughter at 17 and it is still difficult. I can say nothing right, we are no longer allowed to have “fun” because she feels that laughing, joking and teasing is always at her expense, etc. she is irrational. ie. when her sister doesnt “like” a post on instagram she takes it as a personal affront.
    as one commenter posted “this to shall pass” As a parent, I have learned to see the humour in it, although i dont’ laugh in front of her. God forbid I laugh at all!!!!
    We still eat as a family every night possible, we go on family outings and i encourage her sisters to perservere as she will return to normal. lol
    YEs these are frustrating and emotional years, but sometimes if we take the seriousness out of it, it makes it easier on the whole family




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