Understanding the Role of the Father in Child Development

How a father plays the PERFECT role in a child's life

Profile photo of Harleena Singh - | 53 Aha! comments | Posted in category: Family & Parenting

Man playing the role of father in child development with his baby

What could be the role of the father in child development, many would ask?

With Father’s Day just round the corner, I thought this would be the right time to share about it with you.

If you’re a parent, you very well know that parenting is a tough job. And to do it single-handedly is even tougher.

There are many single mothers who try to fill up the void created by the absence of fathers to fulfill the role of the father in child development.

However, there are married women too who try to do the same because the fathers in those families make no difference as they don’t realize the importance of their role.

But the scenario isn’t always all that bad because there are also many fathers who understand their importance and play the role of the father beautifully for the development of the child.

So, we’ve three kinds of families with different types of fathers, and any research will spot out the difference in the development of the child in each of these families.

This post is for all mothers, whether single or married, non-involved fathers, involved fathers, and even those young men who are about to or will become fathers in the near future.

Once aware and educated about the importance of being a father, every man can be a good father so that his children would be proud of him.

On Father’s Day, here’s my tribute to all wonderful fathers who make a difference to their children and their lives. It’s to tell them that they are ALL special.

“Fathers, like mothers, are not born. Men grow into fathers and fathering is a very important stage in their development.” ~ David Gottesman

Importance of a Father

Whether fathers realize it or not, but they’ve the potential to influence, develop, and make a difference in the life of their child.

That is why the role of the father in child development can never be underestimated.

Research studies reveal that the importance of a father, his love and contribution is as important as that of mother’s, in the complete development of the child.

It doesn’t mean that mother’s are no good! Many mothers, especially single mothers are raising their children and seeing to their overall development.

Mothers are special people, and their role is of utmost importance, but a father is no less. An involved father can take care of his children as well as a mother would do.

I know of many father’s who are single-handedly taking care of their children, and they are doing wonderfully – hats-off to them!

If you’ve read my earlier post about my father, you’d know how much he influenced my life. He has been my ideal and my hero, and I’ll always be grateful to him for all that he did, and still does for me.

After my mother passed away more than a decade back, he took up the dual responsibility of being a father as well as a mother with dedication and grace.

To date, he makes sure we’re on the path of progress and is always there whenever I need him as my pillar of strength – I love him 🙂

My father is important for me and made a difference in my life. I know the importance of a father. What about you?

As a father, do you play your role in your child’s development?

“It is a wise father that knows his own child.” ~ William Shakespeare

The Role of the Father in Child Development

No doubt the father’s role in child development has changed in the previous decades in many cultures and countries.

A father was once only supposed to be the bread winner, a protector, disciplinarian, and the undisputed authority or the head of family! However, things have changed with time.

Presently, just like a mother, a father too needs to play many roles for the proper development of his child and to be a better parent.

This increases his importance for the child, and in the family.

It has been proven that as a father, you have a direct impact on the healthy development and well-being of your child.

If you’re an involved father, you make a huge and significant difference in various aspects of your child’s character and personality, and foster his or her overall development.

man playing role of the father by taking care of baby

“Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.” ~ Bill Cosby

The PERFECT Father

To be a father, you need to be an all-rounder. You need to do anything and know everything. Just kidding. 🙂

I shouldn’t pressurize you with so many requirements, but yes, the kids do have such high expectations from their father. Their father is their hero – their Superman!

Though it’s not easy and possible for anyone to be perfect, but you can surely adopt the PERFECT formula to play many roles of a father in your child’s development.

Here is the PERFECT father acronym created just for you wonderful fathers. 🙂

P – Protector
E – Educator
R – Role Model
F – Friend
E – Entertainer
C – Counselor
T – Trainer

Here’s the complete description of all the important roles that you as a father need to play for your child, because without these your child’s development is incomplete.

“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.” ~ Sigmund Freud

Protector

As a father, you need to provide complete protection to your child – in the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects.

By doing so, you protect the body, mind, heart, and soul of the child from any harm or dangers.

Besides these securities as a father, you have to provide financial security and material support too.

You also need to let your child know that you’re there for him or her, anytime and anywhere so that he or she feels secure and fearless.

You might not realize it, but a child needs to feel secure from within and that’s where the importance of a father and his role comes in.

By playing the role of a protector, provider, and a nurturer, you fill the child with self-confidence, and feelings of security and stability that help create the right environment for the child’s development.

Educator

As a father you need to teach the right personal values and principles to your child.

You need to take care of the following –

  • Impart the values as relevant to your family, society, and country so that it helps your child in personal and social development.
  • Teach your child to face the world, and learn to be happy in life.
  • Teach your child to be disciplined and well-mannered.
  • Teach them the way they should carry themselves so it’s conducive to their development.
  • Use your authority, but effectively, so that it has positive consequences. More than punishments, you need to reward good behavior.

By playing the role of an educator, the father creates feelings of self-worth in the child that motivates the child to develop himself or herself.

Role Model

As a mother or a father you’re always under observation, and your children watch you ALL the time.

They make a mental note of all you say and do. So, you need to be careful of what you talk, and how you act and behave.

As a father, you need to maintain your composure, be responsible, and model yourself exactly as what you’d want your child to do.

The role of the father in child development helps the child to take the right path and destination.

Friend

As a father, a healthy friendship with your child helps you and your child to stay away from a lot of trouble. By being a friend, you’ve better chances of preventing your child from going astray.

You’ve to set boundaries so that your child doesn’t take you for granted and continues to respect you.

At the same time, your child should be comfortable to share his or her feelings, experiences and thoughts with you.

Your child shouldn’t feel hesitant to ask or disclose things, which only happens once you bond and connect with him or her.

By playing the role of a friend, you can guide your child in the right direction and help create a positive and encouraging environment at home.

Entertainer

Being a father doesn’t mean that you always have to be strict, or be a disciplinarian. Fathers should be fun to be with. They need to be loving, and should learn to be enjoy being with their kids and family.

Fathers are usually more involved than mothers in physical play that requires more of energy.

As a father, you should be a good playmate to your child, and indirectly encourage his or her social and emotional growth.

While playing, not only does a child build muscle, flexibility, fitness, and better mind-body coordination, but a child also learns about following rules, being independent, sportspersonship, and the spirit of perseverance among other things.

Celebrating, entertaining, and playing also help you develop a good rapport with your child as a father.

So your child also opens up, share things, and builds an emotional bond with you.

The role of the father in child development as an entertainer helps the child to develop freely and motivates him or her to reach greater heights.

Counselor

As a father, besides being a friend to your child, you also need to be his or her counselor, philosopher, and guide.

You need to –

  • Tell your child all about life that you’ve learnt yourself.
  • Be able to sense if something’s wrong with your child, or know if he or she needs any kind of help.
  • Talk with your child and direct him or her to make the right choices, and take the right path in life. Gain the trust and faith of your child so that they seek your help when in need.
  • Be the problem solver for your child.
  • Teach the problem solving skills to your child so that he or she can deal with the obstacles to his or her growth and development.

Trainer

As a father, you’re your child’s coach – a life coach that takes care and responsibility of training the child to face all problems in life and solve them on the go.

You teach your child how to make decisions and act on them, so as to make the child responsible, self-reliant and ready to face the challenges of life.

Your job as a trainer is to impart all skills and techniques so that your child can excel in life.

While playing the role of a trainer, you also act as a coach, and teach your child to have discipline in all aspects of life. After all, discipline and hard work are important components of success in life.

These values and skills definitely help foster the true and complete development of the child.

child experiencing importance of a father by enjoying ride on his back

The role of the father in child development IS important.

As a father, I hope you, and all existing or would-be fathers realize their own importance and what difference they can make directly to their child, and indirectly to the world.

All a father needs to do is love his child unconditionally. A good father-child bonding results in better intellectual, mental, and emotional development of the child.

A well-developed child will spread positivity, carry the light of peace and success to the next generation, and help make the world a better place.

“Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a Dad.” ~ Unknown

Mothers and fathers have their own styles of parenting and roles to play. They’re different yet important, and it’s best when they raise their kids together.

A father cannot completely take the mothers place, nor can a mother cannot completely replace the father herself.

Importance of a father or a mother in a family cannot be denied. I can vouch for that as I’ve seen my father, and now I see my husband who is yet another wonderful father to our children.

Your child needs both, the father and the mother in his or her life. If you are single, doesn’t matter – you have the goodness of both parents within you.

Here is a lovely song and video that I’d like to dedicate to my father, and I’m sure many others would like to do the same.

Teresa James ~ Dad, You’re My Hero – Tribute from a daughter to her father ~ YouTube Video

“The greatest gift I ever had came from God; I call him Dad!” ~ Unknown

Wishing all of you a very Happy Father’s Day!

Over to you –

As a mother, do you think that fathers play an important role in the family? If you’re a single mother, have you ever felt the absence of the role of the father in child development? Being a father, how do you evaluate and associate yourself with the PERFECT roles of the father? For unmarried men – what lessons do you take away from this post? Do share in the comments.

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos



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53 Comments - Read and share thoughts

  1. Anuj Sawhney

    June 12, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    Hi Harleena ! I really enjoyed reading your post. The definition you gave about PERFECT father is just tremendous work. Thanx for sharing

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 13, 2013 at 12:59 am

      Welcome to the blog Anju!

      Glad you enjoyed reading this post about the role of the father in child development 🙂

      Ah…I was hoping everyone likes the acronym of PERFECT as given in the post too.

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

      BTW – Why don’t you grab yourself a Gravatar so that we can all see who we are addressing here. 🙂

  2. Carolyn

    June 12, 2013 at 9:44 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    I will never forget the moving tribute you wrote for your dad. That may very well have been the best blog post I ever read, it was so touching.

    You and I share a bond of having lost our mothers to cancer, but our father’s have risen to the occasion and stepped in to dual roles.

    I do feel for single mothers who do their best to raise their children without a father. It isn’t easy because the role of the father is so important.

    I love your PERFECT analogy, Harleena! You’re right a father plays many roles and what a wonderful time to highlight that.

    I wish you and your father a wonderful and blessed Father’s Day, Harleena!

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 13, 2013 at 1:55 am

      Hi Carolyn,

      Nice to know that you still remember that tribute I’d written for my Dad, yes, that was directly from my inner-core, so as to say. I guess that’s why it touched many hearts.

      You’re absolutely right, we do share a common and major loss, yet our strength’s lies very much in our dad’s. And the more I see of my dad play both these roles with ease, the more respect and love I have for him. I’m sure you too must be feeling the same way.

      I agree with you there – single mothers, or for that matter even single fathers do have to put in double the effort, and yet most of them do it all so well.

      Ah…nice to know that you liked the PERFECT analogy, which I thought was perfect for the wonderful fathers who play such a major role in the development of their child.

      Thanks so much for you wishes, and I wish you and your father too a very Happy Father’s Day, Carolyn 🙂

  3. Ahsan

    June 12, 2013 at 10:37 pm

    Hello Harleena,

    I have to say there is no better person as PERFECT father. Yes PERFECT father can be regarded as allrounder. He should be a good trainer, a teacher, an entertainer, a good friend & above all role model for a kid.

    Here is the wish on Father’s Day:

    A Father means so many things..
    An understanding heart,
    A source of strength and support right from the very start.
    Happy Father’s Day

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 13, 2013 at 2:26 am

      Hi Ahsan,

      I agree with you there – there can be no one like a father, though for some it might even be their mother or any other family member who might be their role model. I guess it’s their personal choice – isn’t it?

      Yes indeed, I think most kids look to their fathers as people who know and do it all. Not to mention the many expectations they have from both their parents 🙂

      Ah..that is so sweet of you – a lovely poem indeed.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing these lines with us. Happy Father’s Day to you as well 🙂

  4. Enstine Muki

    June 12, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    I love the saying “Men grow into fathers…” and that’s exactly what I working at. I do a lot of readings on this subject and this post is just one excellent piece I have read this week. It’s a post I have to reread.

    Now, with my 3 and a half year old daughter, I’m learning a lot of things. I’m sure you saw her pic on Facebook 😉

    I remember each time I spend 1 or 2 days out (maybe on mission or village with my parents), she would always tell me on phone “Daddy come back ‘fast'” haha! I love the way she does that on phone.

    I love to read more of these tips Harleena.

    Thanks for the wonderful post 😉

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 13, 2013 at 2:50 am

      Hi Enstine,

      They really do, and most, into good ones 🙂

      Nice to know that you read a lot about parenting, and that’s what makes you such a wonderful and loving father. I’m sure your little one must be so proud of her daddy.

      I know you really dote on your daughter as I’ve seen the lovely family pictures you’d shared on Facebook – bless you and your family. Ah…she says that because she misses you and I’m sure you too must be loving to hear her say that – any parent would as it shows the love your child has for you.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. Wishing you a very Happy Father’s Day as well 🙂

  5. Shalu

    June 13, 2013 at 12:56 am

    Very good article on the role of the father. I love the way you have analysed each letters in the word “perfect”. Makes a lot of sense. There is no doubt that the role of the father is extremely important in all aspects of a child’s development. Very good analysis of the roles.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 13, 2013 at 3:50 am

      Hi Shalu,

      Glad you liked the post on a father’s role in child development 🙂

      Ah..nice to know that you liked the acronym for PERFECT, and yes, the role of the father in child development cannot be denied. I just hope more people would realize this fact.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views 🙂

  6. Babanature

    June 13, 2013 at 3:28 am

    Hello Harleena,

    Ahhh… Perfect, as long as this world is concern, there is no such thing as perfect. but i love the acronyms you use on perfect 🙂

    I love my father, he his my mentor and i learned everything from him… before he died, he always tell me this; “Lead a way your kids would love to follow”. If i am not doing that, i know my boy loves me perfectly. He understands my feeling and knows when i am being angry.

    I guess the training i am giving my boy is the same my papa and mama gave me when i was also a boy.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 13, 2013 at 4:05 am

      Hi Babanature,

      I know what you mean, and I agree – no one is perfect, but there are a few mothers and fathers who keep trying to near perfection in the way they raise their kids, and those who aren’t could use these PERFECT ways to get better – isn’t it? I guess every parent tries to do and give the best to their child in their own ways and that’s what matters most.

      Nice to hear more about your father, and I’m sure he must be a very respectable and loving father to have taught you so well and his words are still so clear in your mind. I liked what he’d said and that’s how it should be for everyone. Your son too must be as proud of you as you are of your dad.

      Yes indeed, we raise our kids the way our parents raised us, in most of the cases. But we also keep learning new ways that sometimes work or sometimes don’t work, and all of it is always directed towards making us bond better with our kids or help them develop into better human beings.

      Thanks for stopping by, and wishing you a very Happy Father’s Day too 🙂

  7. Sylviane Nuccio

    June 13, 2013 at 6:56 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Of course a father has a different place than the mother in the family, but he is as important as the mother for the well being and balance of the child.

    When a father is missing it affects the psycho of the child. I know this first hand, having grown up without a father who died when I was 5 years old.

    I missed my father my whole life, but especially as a child and teenager. That’s why I was falling in love with older guys, always. I was looking for my father for many years.

    Of course this missing piece of the puzzle tends to diminish as you grow old, and that’s a good thing, but a child, most definitely, needs a as father he or she grows up.

    Thanks for this great father’s day post.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 13, 2013 at 2:48 pm

      Hi Sylviane,

      Absolutely! A father cannot replace a mother, and vice-versa.Yet both of them in their own ways are needed for the proper development of the child.

      The role of the father in child development cannot be overlooked at all, and it definitely has an effect on the child or even the other family members.

      I can well understand how tough it must’ve been for you in your growing years to be without a father, and for your brother too. Not to mention, how your Mom raised both of you all alone, which again isn’t easy. I guess you always missed that fatherly love and thus, the love you seeked in older guys. But as you mentioned, that’s mainly in the growing or teen years more and lessens as you mature.

      I wish more Dads were around, at least the ones who have a choice and choose the other way – to be with their kids and families.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us 🙂

  8. Manickam Vijayabanu

    June 13, 2013 at 7:47 am

    Harleena,

    Absolutly wonderful post. There is no doubt that a father is a key role model for kids at young age. With current busy life and living style many families lost the family time and truly very important. I would like to admit myself that I am also doing mistakes to spend more time with my family and Daughter. 🙂

    As like mother, Father’s closeness, Love, warmth secure feeling is very important for kids when they growup and importantly on toddler to teenage end atleast. 🙂

    Sorry. Due to official busy schedule I coulnd’t visit often and missed lot of your posts as well. Thanks for the terrific article Harleena.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 14, 2013 at 2:30 pm

      Hi Manickam,

      Glad you liked it 🙂

      Yes indeed, the role of the father in child development is crucial, and the impact they can make on their child or teenager, just as the mother, is tremendous.

      I agree with you, and most of us are guilty of not spending much time with our families and kids because of the busy lifestyles we lead, yet, we do need to create time for doing so because they are who we earn for and not being able to spend time with them negates our efforts.

      Don’t worry about not being able to come earlier, I can understand the busyness of life that takes a hold of us at times. Not to mention that I’m also currently travelling on vacation with my family, so a little late in replying and commenting. All part of life 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by, and wishing you a very Happy Father’s Day 🙂

  9. Kristina Aston

    June 13, 2013 at 11:38 am

    Father’s really do have such important roles. My Dad was funny, he played everything funny which was so much fun growing up. There are times that funny was the thing that was not needed, he just didn’t know how to communicate on the serious side of life, for that I had my Mother. Great post.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 14, 2013 at 3:08 pm

      Hi Kristina,

      They sure do, though sadly most families don’t realize it 🙂

      I like that and I think being funny also means he would have made sure that your initial learning lessons were enjoyable ones, and maybe that’s why your remember them all so well today. I think having one of the parent who takes things a little lighter- balances things a great deal.

      THanks for stopping by and sharing your views 🙂

  10. Gary

    June 13, 2013 at 12:43 pm

    What an amazing blog and the tribute is absolutely beautiful.. I showed it to my wife who has lost her dads and she was in tears, only because the words are beautiful… Thanks you for this article it certainly points out the best parts of being a dad.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 14, 2013 at 6:08 pm

      Hi Gary,

      Nice of you to like this post on the role of the father in child development 🙂

      I can well understand how your wife must’ve felt – such losses are tough to deal with, and I know that having lost my Mom years back. Ah…words are all I have to touch your hearts and if they do, then we have perhaps connected in some ways.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us 🙂

  11. Debbie

    June 13, 2013 at 8:09 pm

    What a beautiful tribute to fathers. My girls were in the situation where they didn’t have a father to be their hero. I always told them I can be your mother, but I am sorry that I can’t replace your father. There is no way a mother can be both.

    As they have gotten older, it is my first born that has had more trouble dealing with this. She is always looking for a man to love and has made some bad choices.

    I believe that she has more of a problem with this, because he was in her life for those first 5 years and it was not a positive experience for her.

    It is very important for a child to have that father in their life. Ladies, when making your life choice be sure and look at each man you meet carefully. I thought at the time their father would be a good father, but I was wrong. The best thing that you can ever do for those future children is pick a goooood father.

    Thanks Harleena for this post of wisdom. You were and are blessed.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 14, 2013 at 7:15 pm

      Hi Debbie,

      Glad you liked this little tribute to fathers 🙂

      I know all that you and your girls have been through, but I’m so glad you were always there with them. They must be so proud of you, and having raised them single-handed mustn’t have been easy either.

      I agree with you, a mother can play her part but can’t fully replace a father. Somewhere down the line she would be also taking care of things the absent father would have taken – I guess so that their kids don’t feel it too much when they are young, though with time once they grow up they understand.

      I think your older one must be looking for the fatherly love she’s always missed, and is she also falling in love with older men like Sylviane was mentioning above she was, because she too lost her father when she was five. Just curious because it sounds so much like being in the same boat.

      Yes indeed, we do need to be careful about the men we choose, though most of the time we are bitten by the love-bug that stops all such sane thoughts from crossing our mind. It’s years later that we realize where we have fallen into. Nevertheless, if we feel that the choices made earlier aren’t good ones, we always have a choice to leave such a person if things are really bad and moving away. It’s better to live separate till you find someone worthwhile, rather than live with a person who’d impact so many lives negatively.

      Yes indeed, I am blessed I’d say to have such a loving dad and husband who loves our kids too. I just wish more were as lucky as me 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us 🙂

  12. Corina Ramos

    June 13, 2013 at 9:36 pm

    My father is my hero too and I expect my husband to there for my kids they way mine was with me…my dad still is my hero.

    Unfortunately my husband’s father stepped out and my husband took on that role at 16 years old yet it made him the father he is today. His view is he is going to do all that his father didn’t.

    I have the perfect example as well. My oldest son from another marriage did not grow up with his father and that lead him down the wrong path. As a teenager he was always in trouble and dropped out of school.

    My other two sons having their dad…one has graduated and another will be a senior come the new school year with plans to attend college. Both have not gotten into any trouble, thankfully. So, yes a father’s role is important and I have the proof. 🙂

    Great post Harleena. Have a wonderful day.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 14, 2013 at 7:32 pm

      Hi Corina,

      Nice to know that your father too is your hero, and yes, we do expect the same ways for our husbands to be with our kids 🙂

      I liked the way your husband stepped in at that young an age and though it must’ve been quite a lot for him to deal with, I’m sure he’d have done well.

      Sorry to hear about your oldest son, and I can so well understand how traumatic it is for young kids to not have a dad around them in their growing years. The same case might have been had the mother not been there and a single dad had to raise the kids, so I guess it works both ways.

      Nice to hear about your younger sons doing so well – bless them and your wonderful family too. Yes indeed, the role of the father in child development cannot be ignored, nor can a mothers for that matter. For the child to grow into a well-balanced adult, the presence of both parents is a must I’d say.

      Thanks for stopping by, and wishing you and yours a very Happy Father’s Day 🙂

  13. Siddhartha Sinha

    June 14, 2013 at 1:44 am

    Hi,

    I would like to say Without Father, one of the crucial element for the development and caring could not be done, it is just like human beings having 2 kindneys one kidney if of father and other kidney of mother and the failure of any kidney will make the life harsh.

    I liked the Father acronym PERFECT.

    Regards
    Siddhartha Sinha

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 14, 2013 at 7:43 pm

      Hi Siddhartha,

      I agree with you there and that’s why the role of the father in child development cannot be ignored. I would say both parents are needed to raise a child into a good human being. Nice example of the kidney’s, though people are known to survive with just one, but yes, it becomes tough. Glad you liked the acronym.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views 🙂

  14. Sebastian Aiden Daniels

    June 14, 2013 at 2:48 am

    I am glad to have read this post. My father was very absent during my childhood and mainly played the role only of a provider. He was incapable of filling the roles in the PERFECT acronym. I have forgiven him and love him now for who he is.

    This post can be a guideline for how I want to be when I am a father. Thank you for it. : D

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 14, 2013 at 7:51 pm

      Hi Sebastian,

      Sorry to hear about your father’s absence, and yes, some fathers are like that – so I can well relate to what you mentioned here. I wish though things were different and more fathers would realize that the role of the father in child development goes beyond just providing for them – there is a lot that needs to be done to raise a child – isn’t it?

      I like the fact that you’ve forgiven him and let go of the past. I think that makes sense, and if both of you can pick up the threads and look forward to a brighter future together, nothing like it. Life IS short and should be lived without holding any regrets or grudges 🙂

      I’m sure you’d make a wonderful father whenever the day comes, and I guess by reading all such posts, you’d only be preparing yourself.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us. Wishing you a very Happy Father’s Day, make it a great one for your Dad 🙂

  15. Elissa P

    June 14, 2013 at 3:13 am

    As mothers we should provide the love and comfort. We are the ones our children ran to when they are need a little tender love and care. We are the cook, the cleaner and the fixer of all things bad. However, fathers are seem as protector and strong man. I truly believe that the way a man treats is woman is the best example and teaching a man can give to his children. Children learn from seeing more than from telling.

    In all things give Him praise.
    Elissa.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 14, 2013 at 8:06 pm

      Welcome to the blog Elissa!

      I agree with you there – as mothers we are the first ones to know how and what our child is feeling or undergoing. I guess we have an advantage of knowing them better as they’ve been with us 9 months longer!

      Yes indeed, the father is the main provider still in most homes and is considered as the superman or hero by his kids, and that role he has to play besides the others. How he treats his wife or any other woman for that matter is a sure lesson for his kids that they will remember for years to come, so he needs to be careful there. Kids DO learn more from what they see than what they are told 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  16. Theodore Nwangene

    June 14, 2013 at 4:02 am

    Hi Harleena,
    This is really a very informative post. The truth is that most fathers do not even understand their fatherly roles and that’s why I love this quote…..Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a Dad.

    Being a single parent is one of the things that is very difficult to do because in most cases, mothers cannot fully carry out those fatherly roles and vice-verca.

    So, its always good to know the roles we have to play in the family, even the children too.

    Thanks for sharing and happy fathers day too :).

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      Harleena Singh

      June 14, 2013 at 8:12 pm

      Hi Theodore – good to have you back 🙂

      Glad you liked this post on the role of the father in child development 🙂

      That’s one of my favorite quotes too, and yes, most fathers don’t understand their roles, or even those who do, don’t play their parts as they are supposed to, which is the worst part.

      Single-parenting IS tough and though no parent can replace the other, yet there are single mothers and single fathers who have no other choice and are raising their kids, because they love them.

      I just wish more fathers, and mothers too, would realize the roles they have to play and really play them well.

      Thanks for your kind wishes, and wishing you a Happy Father’s Day too 🙂

  17. B k chowla

    June 14, 2013 at 5:56 pm

    Hi,

    Both the parents have equal responsibility towards the growing child.
    Perhaps,it is different in the West. Back home,father doesn’t normally take equal responsibility as here it is only he who works and mother is a housewife. But,then,one can’t get away from the love of the child

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      Harleena Singh

      June 14, 2013 at 8:18 pm

      Hi BK,

      Absolutely! Both parents should play their parts, more so nowadays with times changing.

      I agree, our end father’s are usually the providers or earning members of the family and the mothers are housewives. But things are changing in most of the metros and larger cities where mothers are stepping out to work and earn for the family, which is where fathers need to play their parts of learning to look after the kids too.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post 🙂

  18. Susan Bachelder

    June 14, 2013 at 11:12 pm

    Harleena this is a very grand article! So many fathers do not understand their impact or the how to. You have done a great job here.
    My father was not perfect, he did not always parent with grace, yet he always was, still is my hero. For that I am filled with gratitude.

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      Harleena Singh

      June 15, 2013 at 10:39 pm

      Welcome to the blog Susan!

      Glad you liked the post 🙂

      I agree with you there, and nor can we overlook the role of the father in child development, which along with the mothers, forms the perfect formula to raise happy children that turn into responsible adults.

      Nice to know about your father, and just the fact that he still remains your hero speaks volumes about the love you have for him 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by, and wishing you and your father a very Happy Father’s Day 🙂

  19. John Moussan

    June 15, 2013 at 1:49 am

    Fatherhood is definitely a special thing to experience. I believe that a father will have a Significant impact on how a child will grow and it’s an honor and priceless experience.

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      Harleena Singh

      June 15, 2013 at 10:42 pm

      Welcome to the blog John!

      It sure is, and there is no comparison to the role a father plays in raising a child, though along with the mothers, it becomes the perfect blend 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  20. Adrienne

    June 15, 2013 at 2:32 am

    Hi Harleena,

    I remember that tribute you made to your Dad some time back, it was so very touching. I know we both have that in common although you know mine is no longer with me.

    Well I’m none of the things you asked, mother or single parent. But I have several friends in my life that lost their husbands way too early and my ex-best friend’s son was only five. He’s the one that recently graduated from high school so it’s really been tough on him growing up with no father figure.

    I know my Dad worked a lot and my Mom was the disciplinarian of the family. But later in life I really relied on my Dad for advice. I loved that he never told me what to do but would offer me suggestions. He always let me make my final decision and I so admire him for having done that.

    Having both my parents though all my life until into my mid 40’s made me appreciate them that much more. I so admire anyone who goes this alone. I wish no one had to take that route but it’s all too familiar these days.

    Thanks for sharing this wonderful post even if I can only speak from past experience.

    Have a wonderful Father’s Day Harleena and hope you’ll be able to spend it with your Dad.

    ~Adrienne

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      Harleena Singh

      June 15, 2013 at 11:23 pm

      Hi Adrienne,

      Ah…nice to know that like Carolyn, you too remember that tribute to my Dad made last year 🙂

      Yes indeed, we do have the love for our Dad’s common there, though like your loss, mine is with my Mom instead.

      I can well relate to a child being raised without a father as I too have such cases in my family and when you compare those kids with the ones raised with both parents, you see the difference. That’s just what Corina mentioned above as she’s a living example in her oldest son who was raised without a father and went the wrong way.

      The role of the father in child development cannot be ignored, nor can a mothers. But somehow fathers are more disciplinary for their kids in most of the cases and that helps maintain a balance between things.

      In your case because your dad was working or out most of the time, your mom might have covered up or taken his place, and in such cases, whenever dads return, they like to be light and happy, and not discipline their kids or be strict. I say that because I’ve seen it with my dad too when he used to go for his postings for 2-3 years and mom took over. If moms don’t that in the absence of the dads, things could really go haywire with the kids.

      I liked that, which again very few parents do – just offer suggestions. I know my dad is another person like that, and it does make a lot of difference as you are left to make your final choices yourself without feeling pressurized.

      I know, we were blessed to have both our parents till they were around, and I pray that the ones who are with us now live on to guide us through our lives. I knew you could relate to this post because of your past experiences you had with your dad.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. Though I am at my dad’s place but he had to go out of station, but we’d celebrate it the day he reaches home because any, and every day should be a fathers or a mothers day, isn’t it? 🙂

  21. Srimanta

    June 15, 2013 at 6:11 pm

    Yes!!! Harleena.

    Fatherhood is one of the best experience, A child love to spend some time with his/her father. But some of them can’t get this time what they want? Their father always busy in his own work. Your point is son nice, who can get this time, their child would be more happy in his/her childhood.

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      Harleena Singh

      June 15, 2013 at 11:51 pm

      Hi Srimanta,

      Absolutely! Fatherhood, or for that matter even motherhood are the best experiences for parents. I agree with you, and time is what we all need to create to spend with our kids and families so that we bond with them. After all they are who we live and earn for, isn’t it? I guess the choices always lie in our hand, though how many of us make the right ones makes all the difference.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  22. Gurwinder Singh Bhinder

    June 16, 2013 at 2:52 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    That was one of the best article I had read this week.

    I really liked the acronym you made for father.

    A father is definitely a role model and source of inspiration for every child. Thanks a lot for sharing such a great article.

    And a very happy father’s day to you. Enjoy your time with your dad.

  23. Mayura

    June 17, 2013 at 3:46 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    Sorry I’m late this time 🙂 But, better late than never, eh? 😀 lol…

    As always, I love your analogies 🙂 How true! As you implied, I believe PERFECT father is the one that every child wanna have by their side. As I feel, Protector, Role Model and Friend is the best Harleena. Well, I guess it depends 🙂

    I know of relatives / friends who lost their fathers and their mothers had to represent dual roles in their life. Some may not manage to do it all very well with financial issues and all sorts of problems. Yet I truly admire such mothers and, why not fathers too compared to parents who abandon their babies or children.

    I think it’s never easy to be with no father or mother around Harleena. Most of my friends never said they were missing their mother or father. How tough! 🙂 But some share about it only with their close friends. Mostly they lost their parents ’cause of 30 years of civil war we had here. They are proud of what their mothers or fathers did for the country and follows the same pathway. But, you know, the national hero / heroine was a father or mother of a child too 🙂

    When I think about my father, you know I can hate him if I need to 🙂 But instead I’m proud of what I’ve learnt from him and he contributed to make who I am today Harleena 🙂 Without him, I’m not here today. He himself taught me parenting lessons and let me know what matters most for a child 🙂

    You have a lovely week and enjoy time with your dad there 🙂

    Cheers…

  24. Angela McCall

    June 18, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    Dear Harleena,

    This Father’s Day is kinda weird for me. It’s always the hardest one for me to celebrate coz I really don’t know how to act around my real father. He died a few years ago. But when he was living then it was always a struggle for me.

    Kinda sad when I think about this. But I’m not telling you this because I want people to feel sorry for me. What I am sharing is really the facts of life. What is…is. That’s just the way it was.

    It’s reality that I face everyday. When it comes to my father I can say, he was a genius one. He was dynamic. He was a go-getter…he runs after his dreams. He was intelligent. Career wise, he was very successful. But what is the TRUE success? There are many high paid, money-making men who are failure as human being.

    But don’t get me wrong…I admired my father for all of his accomplishment. From poverty to being a 6-figured income man in America. For stepping out of his comfort zone and took a leap of faith and gone to a country that he’s never known before (i.e. Vietnam…then America…) he is a true pioneer at heart. A risk taker who had a high ambition in life. My father will go through the gates of hell if he had to, he will succeed in his goal.

    However…sadly speaking, dad didn’t know how to handle his emotions. He was like a walking time bomb and we, children, were always scared if we made a mistake…we were walking on eggshells. My mom suffered from being a battered wife. Very sad. But it’s true. We had NO role models.

    Mom suffered a lot. She wasn’t much of a mom to us either because she was too busy licking her wounds. Me and mom was never close either. But as a Catholic, she was a very religious woman who always have her rosary praying for us, praying for her husband.

    When I was born, mom and dad were separated and my grandparents took over of being my parents instead. They were the one who loved me unconditionally. So guess this balanced out for me and I owe my life to my grandmother. Grandpa was a strict father to me and he was very caring. I thank God for that.

    Anyway….

    I do not hate my dad. In fact, before he died, he apologized to all of us. He called me one day and just said, “I’m sorry for what I’ve done…” I said, “Dad, before you even asked forgiveness, I have already forgiven you…” After he apologized to everyone, that’s when he died. BUT…

    …when he was living he tried to make up for the LOSS. But it’s so weird to be around dad. I couldn’t swallow the uncomfortable feeling. The TIME that we could have been playing, going out, having fun, laughing together NEVER happened between us. TIME WAS LOSS. It’s that GAP that we could NEVER make up. It’s not the same.

    The love of the grandfather is nice. But there’s nothing like your own REAL father. So it’s very weird for me to describe my feelings about this. Despite all, I honored my father and all the hard work he had done.

    Angela

  25. shahalam khan

    July 27, 2013 at 2:53 pm

    Hi,
    very nice article I love reading it, a man have lots of responsibility as a father, I know lots of people who aren’t a good father and don’t treat their kids nice way, but as a father one should always keep their kids happy and secure.

  26. Ashi

    August 5, 2013 at 10:27 am

    Hello Harleen G
    Thanks for this comprehensive post. It is always good to read your blog. I like your writing style. Have a great day and keep up the good work
    Regards

  27. Manish

    September 3, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    Harleena, Your article touched my heart.
    As a father I can say that I need to learn a lot for becoming a good FATHER.

  28. MUKESH MAMTORA

    September 6, 2013 at 11:14 pm

    Dear Harleena, every time i find some different and useful information and you are writing so well as its feels awesome to be in your blog. As i am father of small little baby, you gave a good example, i have learned something which i may try in my life.

  29. Abir Hasan

    December 18, 2013 at 11:33 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    Once again, I can just say, Wow! It’s a nice piece of article. The concept of introducing the acronym ‘PERFECT’ does make sense to me. I have a two year old son, and I know how much actually a child needs from a father, though mine is a minor one. The role of fathers in the development process of children is undoubtedly very significant. I myself feel my father who passed away in 2002 who was actually a good father to me, most probably fulfilling all of the attributes you described in your article. For me, my father is my hero who showed me the way to be a gentleman.

  30. Yvonne I. Wilson

    June 16, 2014 at 1:21 am

    Hi Harleena

    This is very touching. Helping others to see the impact that fathers and fatherhood have on the lives of their children so well articulated through this acronym PERFECT is superb!

    I have raised my girls as a single parent after my divorce and I simply could not fill the shoe of father and make the difference like a father would. Thankfully, even though he was not living in the home anymore, he continued to maintain a bond with them and being there for them in whatever way that he could have and happy to say, that paid of/is working out quite well in our children’s life.

  31. Pat

    August 30, 2014 at 5:35 pm

    Dads make the best. Life coaches for boys and girls alike if they are interested in the job.
    It may well be the epitome of living life to impart the best of what they are to give to their children, and hence, is never boring, and always unique!

  32. Thet Oo

    September 6, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    Thanks so much Harleena , I’m also writer based on parenting . Your article gives me many inspiration and some references.I’ll always waiting for your writings.




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Read more posts in the category: Family & Parenting




Understanding the Role of the Father in Child Development

by Harleena Singh time to read: 9 min