12 Warning Signs Your Self-Love Stinks

How to love yourself and be happy even when you feel you're not good enough

- | 34 Aha! comments | Posted in category: Self Improvement

12 warning signs your self love stinks

It hurts me to write this.

You want love, and to be loved, and think you’re doing pretty good.

But really, your self-love sucks, and you don’t even know it.

I know. Mine has been in the sewer for years.

But the good news is, you can love yourself, a lot.

The following are things I’ve learned through my life (okay, I’m still learning).

You’re welcome to take all you want.

1. You don’t love your warts

Yeah. Why would I want to?

Well, a while back, I learned I could accept myself exactly as I was, warts and all. It was all right to be imperfect, to have faults, to make mistakes.

You see, one day I just started thinking… “I know humans are imperfect and make mistakes…I know I’m alive to learn and grow…I know I’m infinite…I know I’m tired of beating myself up…I know I want to be happy… I know…

Why can’t I just shout and be happy when I make a mistake? “Whoopee! I made a mistake. I just blew it!”

That would mean I’m human like I’m supposed to be. And then I could try to do better the next time.

So, I just made a decision that day, to be happy about all my flaws, and screw-ups.

Of course, I still have ways to go, but I’m doing a lot better.

When you have high self-love, you learn to:

Smile when you mess up, and then move on

Not beat yourself

Forgive yourself quickly

Feel I’m good enough

I know what you’re thinking. You don’t know me. I can’t do that. You’re right. I don’t know you. But you do. And you can love yourself exactly as you are, right now!

So why not start today. Start this very moment. Decide to shout—“Hallelujah! I messed up! I’m human!”—the next time you botch something, big or small.

2. You’re not overjoyed when people yell at you

You know what I mean, don’t you? Someone vomits negative energy all over you, and your natural response is payback.

You don’t turn on a force field that keeps all the garbage out. Or better yet, that dissipates all the negativity.

I don’t do so well with this, but keep trying. I’m so sick and tired of feeling stuck—in a rut. Do you ever feel that way?

When you have excessive self-love, you learn to:

Not take things personally (shields up)

Not feel bad

Recognize that yelling is about them, not you

Think and say things like, “I get the impression you’re really hurting right now. Is there some way I can help?”

What do you think? Can you hold on to the good, when the bad comes? Can you put the hazmat suit on when all the crap is flying?

The Universe moves as per your command, intentions, and actions

3. You don’t even know your subconscious beats you up

What? Don’t you believe that? But it’s true. I know firsthand. I’ve learned that subconscious things trouble people. They’ve affected me in my life.

Four-year-old Danny Drew blamed himself for his parents’ divorce—and didn’t even know it until he was forty years-old. And I’ve been learning ever since, how much that’s troubled me in my life.

When you have high self-love, you learn to:

Accept that subconscious problems are real

Discover your false subconscious beliefs

Replace them with their positive counterpart

Reprogram your subconscious

Whether a belief is subconscious, or conscious, you want to uncover those pesky false and limiting beliefs, and replace them with their empowering opposite.

Sometimes I’ve discovered subconscious things when I was reading a book, watching a movie, or just meditating while walking, or lying down, and then…

BAM! a light turned on, and I knew something new.

You see, I’ve learned… when I want to know something, I just ask, and listen… and then things happen… and ideas come to my mind.

You want to be in control, don’t you? Well, if your subconscious is calling the shots, or at least, some of them, that’s not being in charge.

But the good news is—you control your subconscious.

So why not begin this expedition, this journey to Mount Everest. Your life and ours might depend on it.

When you say the positive opposite of an emotionally charged limiting belief—long enough, and powerful enough—your subconscious begins to believe it. And when your subconscious believes something, it becomes reality.

4. You perfectly compare yourself

Admit it. You’ve compared yourself to others, and you didn’t even want to.

And what about perfection? Now that’s a losing battle. What a sad story that’s been for me—I’ve compared myself to perfection all my life.

If you’re going to compare yourself to something or someone… why not compare yourself to yourself. Now that’s something I could live with.

Everyone is different. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Why do we have so much trouble with this?

When you have high self-love, you learn to:

Love imperfection

Stop comparing yourself to others

Love yourself as you are

Be happy with others successes

So what’s it going to be? Are you ready to let this go? Will you just compare yourself to yourself, and then love and accept YOU, exactly as you are?

I’m committed (and I’m not talking about to an institution… although, some might think that).

How about you?

Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them

5. You’re a monster blame magnet

I’m sorry, but I think you needed to hear that.

As for me, I’m often on the other side of blame, trying to dish it out.

I heard a lot of blame growing up. And now I have a tendency to blame others, even though I know it’s not their fault.

But I am sensitive to criticism—whether true or not.

When you have high self-love, you learn to:

Take responsibility for your actions, even if the consequences look dire

Not accept the false blame from others

Not let blame make you feel bad

Realize that most people try to blame others, when they mess up

Well. What do you think? Isn’t it time to turn that magnet around, and repel blame? I know I can do better.

6. You beat yourself up over nothing

Now this is something I can really relate to.

I came out of childhood thinking it was bad to make mistakes. And that doesn’t bode well when you need to make decisions and choices, every day.

But since mistakes are normal, and expected, why beat yourself up? Why not cheer with excitement when you screw up?

That’s what I needed to hear but didn’t. Bad choices just mean you’re human.

When you have high self-love, you learn to:

Make trial and error your BFF

Kiss mistakes better

Quit feeding your subconscious junk food, or even poison

Choose something, anything, and move on

I’m doing better now. My new mantra is, “I always make great choices.”

What? Does that seem a contradiction?

Even though it isn’t literally true… I find that… the more I say it, the more my subconscious believes it. And the more my subconscious believes it, the more it happens.

This beat doesn’t have to go on.

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.

7. You party with, “I’m not good enough.”

You’ve felt it, haven’t you? I know I have.

I grew up hearing a lot of “that was dumb, stupid, can’t you do anything right?” etc. I got criticized and punished for making mistakes. Nothing I did was ever good enough. It was easy to feel, “I’m not good enough.”

But on the other hand, something inside told me that I am good enough, that I’m infinite, and I knew it was true.

Talk about a Jekyll and Hyde attack.

When you have high self-love, you learn to:

Replace “I’m not good enough,” with “I’m awesome!”

Say out loud what you are grateful for, every day.

Believe others (myself included), who say “you are galaxies beyond good enough.”

Accept the grandeur of your potential

Why not add this to your morning mirror work? Help your subconscious believe your amazing worth by saying over-the-top affirmations.

I am fabulous, smart, fantastic, awesome, wonderful, sexy, way beyond good enough, and so on. They are true. All of them.

If you still find it hard to say these things, and believe them, then do this:

1) get in a quiet place by yourself (this works great looking in the mirror),

2) take a deep breath (for that matter, take a few),

3) ask out loud, real loud, and quietly, “Am I good enough?”,

4) listen, and write down what comes to mind (the answers to this might surprise you),

5) ask out loud, and quietly, “How good am I?”,

6) listen, and write down what comes to mind. I’m getting teary-eyed and feeling powerful emotions just writing about this.

You are good enough, and so much more.

8. You push love away when it gets too close

You’ve experienced loss that hurts so much; you’re afraid to experience it again. I know I still struggle with this, at least, inside.

After my parents had divorced, when I was a little child, and the beatings came, and other things, I just wasn’t the same.

Perhaps, you’ve had awful things to deal with too. Everyone gets something.

When you have high self-love, you learn to:

Accept that you deserve love

Trust, no matter what

Let your guard down

Laugh with vulnerability

So what’s it going to be?

To love—or not to love… Isn’t that the question?

The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.

9. You couldn’t say no if your life depended on it

I used to say no easily. I think I was much too self-absorbed.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Is it hard to say no? Do you wish people would stop asking for help?

When you have high self-love, you learn to:

Say no all the time

Add balance

Accept there isn’t enough time for everything

Make best friends with yes, and no

You can’t run faster than you have strength. Balance is needed.

Besides, there isn’t enough time in a day to do all the things you are asked to do, or need to do, or have to do, or should do, or… you get the picture. Some good things just have to get cut.

10. You’re a giver of toxicity

Now everyone is human. I’m good most of the time. But sometimes I get upset and raise my voice, or say things I shouldn’t. Maybe you have your moments too.

My wife tolerates my weaknesses, and I am grateful.

But then there are things that people do, that are even hard to talk about. They seem unforgivable, and most don’t.

After all, there are different levels of a toxic dump, aren’t there?

If you’ve done the unspeakable, or are doing them now, and you’re reading this (that would be a surprise), then stop! You don’t love yourself.

When you “kill” others, you only “kill” yourself. So why not choose love?

When you have high self-love, you learn to:

Walk away, or run, when needed

Recognize it’s about them, not you

Allow good things in, and keep bad things out

Let toxicity go back where it came from

I’ve read, heard, and seen the intolerable, being tolerated. And in this case, it isn’t better to give or receive.

You don’t have to play in the toxic waste any longer. You can change. We all can. You deserve so much more. You deserve love. We love you!

To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.

11. You think it’s easier to forgive than forget

Why is it so hard to forgive others? You know you need to… but maybe you think you can’t, or you don’t know how.

Or maybe you don’t want to. Your heart screams, “You don’t know how bad it was!”

Well, I do… and I don’t.

But I know this if you don’t forgive them, it hurts you more than it hurts them… and it stops you in your tracks. You’re stuck in misery.

I’ve forgiven things that were big, and it was hard. I didn’t want to. And I’ve learned that real and complete forgiving is a lot more than just saying the words.

But you already know that.

When you have high self-love, you learn to:

Accept the harm you do to yourself when you don’t forgive.

Understand their circumstance and challenge.

Say “I forgive you,” and mean it.

Want good things for them.

You know, it isn’t easy to forgive, or forget. I don’t know if I’ll ever forget everything.

Does it really take a lifetime to learn forgiveness? Maybe. But, however long it takes, I’d say it’s worth it.

Isn’t now… a good time to start?

12. You won’t forgive the forgivable

My parents divorced, and I was devastated.

Then my wife left me. You can’t blame her. I was awful. I had no job, no car, no money, high debts. I blew it. Me and money didn’t do so well.

But what about my kids? I’ve seen how divorce trashed them. And I’m reminded again, and again, how bad I messed up.

You think it’s not easy to beat myself up? It is.

Do you know who the hardest person to forgive is?

When you look in the mirror, you see them. It’s you!

My eyes are watering as I think about this.

Can I really forgive myself?

One day, somehow, I knew that no matter how bad it hurt, or how relentless the guilt and shame were, I could forgive myself, and move on.

And I did. I feel peace now.

When you have high self-love, you learn to:

Do regular mirror work, like, “I forgive you for…”

Truly recognize and accept the magnitude of your worth

Think, “I’m human—it’s normal to make mistakes, even big ones.”

Recognize that all those negative things are lies

And again, I know what you’re thinking. You don’t know how bad it was.

And you’re right.

But if it really was that bad…

It still will be possible…

to forgive yourself.

And what about the things you don’t even know you need to forgive yourself for… like little Danny Drew.

They’re holding you back too. So why not send them packing—“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

It is possible to forgive—no matter how many times your subconscious tells you it isn’t.

Moving To Greener Pastures

Are you surprised your self-love stunk so much? I know I am. But now you know things that will make a huge difference.

Just imagine, waking up in the morning, and feeling happy—real happy.

Happy about all the love in your life… and out.

Happy that you’re not perfect, that you have flaws. Yahoo!

Happy that forgiveness is your new best friend.

Happy that…

Can you imagine all that? I can.

Sound impossible? It’s not.

Do the work, and…

You want love, don’t you? I know I do?

Now you’ve got a new roadmap—all you need to do is follow it.

Your new life of possibility and overwhelming love awaits.

Over To You –

So what’s next? Are you ready for the self-love that knocks your socks off? I believe in you. Share your thoughts in the comments.



Show Comments

34 Comments - Read and share thoughts

  1. Swadhin Agrawal

    February 11, 2016 at 6:20 pm

    Hi Dan,
    An apt post at an apt time.
    Having self respect only leads us to get repect from others. I totally agree with you on “thinking I’m awesome” and this is what everyone should be doing.

    Learning to forgive is also a virtue that makes relationships a bit sweeter. Even more, it makes life easier to live.

    Great post and awesome lessons indeed.
    -Swadhin

    • Dan Drew

      February 11, 2016 at 7:54 pm

      Thanks so much Swadhin.
      Very kind comments.

  2. Carolyn Nicander Mohr

    February 11, 2016 at 7:56 pm

    Hi Dan, Such an inspirational article! Yes, we can certainly be our own worst enemies but only we can change that. A little self-love and forgiveness goes a long way.

    If we thought of ourselves as a friend, would we want to be friends with ourselves? Are we understanding, supportive and reflective or are we critical, harsh and unforgiving?

    As you point out in your example in the article, sometimes we have to become adults before we realize how harsh we are on ourselves. But instead of being self-critical, we can use our mistakes to learn and grow.

    I loved the example you gave of turning the conversation around when someone is critical of you. Ask them whether they’re having a bad day.

    That happened to me recently. I was having a conversation with someone who was very abrupt and rude to me. I pointed it out and he mocked me, asking me if it made me feel bad. I told him no, I felt fine, but his attitude made him look bad and I didn’t want him to look bad.

    He stopped and stared at me and realized what I said was true. He changed his attitude completely and now we joke about it.

    Thanks for this inspiration, Dan. Have a wonderful weekend ahead!

    • Dan Drew

      February 11, 2016 at 8:10 pm

      Thank you for sharing about that conversation recently. That gives me more hope. It does seem like we should be able to point things out in a nice way, and have it work out all right.

      I’m happy you are able to joke about it now. I need more of that.

      Turning the conversation around. What an art. It’s so hard to not let things get to you personally.

      Thanks again.

      Enjoy!

  3. lisa thomson

    February 11, 2016 at 9:41 pm

    Love this so much, Dan! What a great message you’re spreading and with such heart. I like when writers share their personal experiences with their message. I just wrote for a big site and they edited out my personal references which I think made the piece a little cold. Anyhow, that’s not what we’re talking about here. I feel so much for little Danny. I am a divorced woman and nothing makes my heart ache more than thinking of the day we told our children. I don’t think that pain will ever go away. I don’t think there’s anything a parent can say to alleviate the self blame a child is burdened with. You’ve done the work so well and it’s wonderful you share it with us. I need to work on all of these and especially self forgiveness. Thanks for this lovely share, Harleena!

    • Dan Drew

      February 11, 2016 at 9:55 pm

      You’re so kind. Thanks. I like the personal touch a lot, but it does get scary sharing things. You know the pain of divorce. It’s tough, but hopefully, we can move forward in a good way. I hope the best for my kids, and yours. Let’s find a way to forgive, ourselves included.
      You’re awesome!

      Dan

  4. Balroop Singh

    February 12, 2016 at 9:21 am

    Hi Dan,

    Thank you for such an inspiring article! We often brush aside the issues we have with our personality but the world of denial is like a cage, which becomes oppressive. The yearning to break free keeps gnawing at our nerves and we have to find a way out! The sooner we do so, the better it is for us. But for that we need the awakening and the awareness.

    Self-love is taboo in some families, communities and societies. Such people grow up to live for others and don’t even know they can work on their imperfections. Some dysfunctional families enforce the belief that self-love can be pernicious. It takes a long time for such persons to say to themselves that they are “awesome.”

    You have discussed all the points in great detail and your personal examples lend a lot of realism to this article. Thanks for sharing.

    • Dan Drew

      February 13, 2016 at 7:13 pm

      Great thoughts! Thanks for your sharing. I keep trying to break free. I think I’ve made good progress. It’s such a challenge when others, especially those closest to us, make it so hard. I guess that’s part of life, an opportunity. I keep trying to hold on to the good, the positive. Don’t know when I’ll stop complaining. It’s nice to hear your encouragement. You are awesome!. What a thought that is. A true one.

  5. Stephanie

    February 12, 2016 at 3:02 pm

    This was such a good reminder. I work in mental health and tell this kind of stuff to my clients all the time but when reading through this, realised I very rarely do the same myself. There have been quite a few that I’ve been working on but others I need to remind myself of more frequently. Thank you for sharing!

    Stephanie

    • Dan Drew

      February 13, 2016 at 7:17 pm

      I bet you do a lot of good work, and have made a great contribution, and have been very appreciated. Thank you! I remember the first time I went for counseling. Talk about learning a lot. I don’t why it isn’t normal, for any mental or emotional sickness, to be treated by a Doctor. If our body is sick, or not well, we certainly want to see a Doctor. Working on ourselves always can be harder, or forgotten, can’t it? Thanks again.

  6. Vernon Layne

    February 13, 2016 at 2:07 am

    Hi Dan,

    What an excellent post on self-love.

    When people first hear the word self-love they may get it wrong and think it means being arrogant.

    But it’s something we want to do often because judging and criticizing ourselves gets us nowhere.

    I was always told if I was going to beat myself up do it with a feather instead of a brick. 😀

    Self-love is accepting our humaness like you said and understanding things isn’t always going to go our way.

    We’re going to make mistakes and fall short at times. We all experience this reality.

    Embracing reality is the best way to express it.

    Thanks,
    Vernon

    • Dan Drew

      February 13, 2016 at 7:21 pm

      Yeah, I keep hearing the idea of self-love put down. Maybe it’s the misunderstanding, the language, the communication. You made me laugh. I need to go get a bunch of feathers. I love that thought! Thanks.

  7. Sylviane Nuccio

    February 13, 2016 at 4:28 pm

    Hi Dan and nice meeting you here.

    As a life coach, I can totally relate with what you’ve discussed here. When I write or talk about the subconscious mind to my clients, I always try to make them understand that that subconscious mind of theirs is affecting their everyday life whether they know it or not.

    Being able to say no was tough for me to do in the past, especially because I had a mom who could never say no, so it was part of my subconscious programming, however, I’ve got much better at it over the years. I learned to celebrate myself when I say no.

    Great share.
    ~Sylviane

    • Dan Drew

      February 13, 2016 at 7:30 pm

      Hi Sylviane.

      What a thing that subconscious is. I didn’t have a clue for years. Great to hear you’ve been working on yours, successfully, and trying to help others. I bet they appreciate you. I’ve seen that difficulty about saying no. I grew up more on the other end, of not saying yes enough, or seeing the need without being asked. It always seems to come down to a balance. Serving on the one hand, and not doing more than we have strength, on the other.

      “Cel-e-brate good times, come on… It’s a celebration.”

      Thanks again. I feel like celebrating.

  8. Eva

    February 14, 2016 at 2:07 am

    I was originally reading this for myself but as I was reading it strikes me that everything about this applies to my husband, too. I’m now realizing that maybe if he loved himself more, his connection with our children would be better and our marriage would be on stronger ground. He had such a troubled childhood and I never considered the possibility of a lack of self love is a factor to our current situation. What a gift you’ve given me, thank you.

    • Dan Drew

      February 14, 2016 at 7:39 pm

      Hi Eva,

      Very kind words. Thank you. I do hope this helps in some way. I think we all want to add and contribute, in whatever ways we can. I know you have great gifts, and much to add.

      I’m thinking that whether we call it self-love, or something else, there are things that affect us. I know things have affected me. I’m just glad I’ve found out about some of them.

      I hope your family is filled with love. Thanks again.

  9. Ravi Roshan Jaiswal

    February 16, 2016 at 12:09 pm

    Hey Dan!
    One of the best guideline for us!

    This article really touched my heart. You are right Dan that self respecting is bigger than others respect.

    Self love may improve our life style and remove our loneliness.

    Thanks a lot!
    – Ravi

    • Dan Drew

      February 16, 2016 at 6:17 pm

      Great to hear from you Ravi,

      It always seems to come down to us, rather than someone else, doesn’t it. And maybe, as our love for ourselves goes up, the response around will improve also, as an added bonus.

      I’ve known loneliness…, but now things are pretty darn good.

      Thank you for your kind words.

      Dan

  10. Joy Healey

    February 22, 2016 at 6:51 am

    Hi Dan,

    I can relate to so many of those signs of low self love, I’m afraid.

    I beat myself up in a way I wouldn’t beat up my worst enemy. Isn’t that terrible? But at least I’m aware of it and working on it.

    Being a “good enough” Mum was my first attempt to improve things. I’m lucky enough to have had friends who were honest with each other about not being the perfect Mums you see on TV. That made it much easier to realise that we weren’t as terrible as we thought – but were “good enough”. We’re still great friends – and now “good enough grans” 🙂

    Saying “no” is getting easier for me too. It just had to – I was in such overwhelm mode trying to please everybody but myself.

    So – there we are – I’m on the road to self-love. Thanks for more sign-posts.

    Joy – Blogging After Dark

    • Dan Drew

      February 22, 2016 at 7:50 pm

      Loved hearing about your journey. You’re an inspiration. I love the sign-posts idea. Awareness does make a big difference, doesn’t it? I hope to get more aware, and then do something about it. I think it’ll take time.

      Thanks, Joy!

  11. Rachel Wolany

    February 23, 2016 at 12:44 pm

    Hey Dan,

    Truly magnificent post. You nailed it. I really felt your lessons. They were my lessons some time ago. In fact self love sort of settled itself in. I started seeing myself differently and taking it easy on me.

    That was a big turn around for me. I could really let go, with no world to carry on my shoulders. It was a real track stopper, this going easy on myself.

    Okay I’m still dealing with perfectionism, but getting better at it. Okay I struggle with it, but I am trying to get better at it.

    ‘Vomits negative energy all over you’ I just love this statement. You are this weeks legend with statements for me. If I can repeat this anytime during the week I will feel blessed.

    My how I used to be surround by toxic people, being tolerable. Nope – not anymore I’m done. I would rather be in my own company that someone who vomits negative energy over me. Okay I said it, but it does not count, I was just practicing.

    Anyway Dan, you have my full attention, a post that really made me reflect on how far I have come. I’m off for a celebration walk.

    Rachel.

    • Dan Drew

      February 23, 2016 at 7:30 pm

      Thank you for your kind words. I’m glad this helped you, as it has helped me a lot. I’m glad to know it is fine to be who we are, and where we are, and then to go from there. I can always keep trying to do better. I think we all can. I can always love what I’ve got. I am so grateful. And you, have such a nice energy that adds to life. It has added to mine this morning. Thank you for reminding me to try to give and receive good energy each day. What a world that would be.

      Thanks again,

      Dan

  12. Donna Merrill

    February 24, 2016 at 10:19 am

    Hi Dan,

    I enjoyed the wake up call to regain our sense of self love.

    You’ve showed us how to do it, now the work is up to us.

    I agree that we do, so often, just lose our bearings when it comes to self love. We just lose it somewhere along the line, and the longer it takes us to reclaim it, the harder it seems to be to find it again.

    But you’ve laid the course for our recovery. It’s about time to heed the warning signs that our self love stinks.

    -Donna

    • Dan Drew

      February 24, 2016 at 6:13 pm

      Great to hear from you Donna. The road to recovery can be long and hard, can’t it?… but worth it. That was a big word when I started out. I bet you’ve found and recovered a lot, and that’s great. Kudos to you.

      Dan

  13. Dana

    February 26, 2016 at 7:14 am

    Hi Dan,

    “You see, I’ve learned… when I want to know something, I just ask, and listen… and then things happen… and ideas come to my mind.”

    I cannot tell you how often this starting happening to me once I opened my mind. I was able to do this once I began to observe my thoughts.

    This is such a great post because I think we all beat ourselves up. We don’t even realize we’re doing it because they’re a part of our normal inner-conversations (which are nothing more than conditioned beliefs we confuse as truth).

    I’m glad you’ve discovered it’s cool to be human. The funny thing is (and you’ve pointed this out), it does appear that as soon as we accept our flaws and openly admit them (especially to ourselves), we’re less prone to making them. It’s that personal responsibility thing.

    • Dan Drew

      February 27, 2016 at 7:41 pm

      Thanks Dana,

      I do get lots of thoughts and ideas that come to my mind. Open your mind and observe your thoughts. I like that. I need quiet time to listen and hear. Appreciate your words of wisdom. I know I have a ways to go, but I’m glad I’m trying and keep making progress. Good to hear you’ve been learning and experiencing needed things.

      Dan

  14. Tuhin

    February 28, 2016 at 6:01 pm

    Hello Dan,

    Thanks for writing about the importance of self love.

    Over the last 2 years I have seen a significant improvement in my life since I understood the importance of loving the inner self.

    And today when I look back at my childhood days, I wonder how nobody explained me the importance of loving the inner self.

    I hope this post will come as an eye opener for people who are ignorant about tis issue…

    Thank you

    • Dan Drew

      February 28, 2016 at 10:14 pm

      Great to hear from you Tuhin.

      It’s been an eye opener for me, too. I hope my kids, grandkids, and posterity do better than I have, and learn about these things earlier.

      Glad to hear you are making progress. I bet you have great gifts, and much to offer. I look forward to your contributions. We all do. All are needed.

      Thanks for your kind words,

      Dan

  15. Ikechi Awazie

    February 29, 2016 at 9:44 pm

    Hi Dan

    Wow! You got my mind spining with so much insight. As you brilliantly shared, we are sometimes hard on ourselves. Stressing our mind with toxic thoughts, trying to make ourselves perfect and deceiving our mind to feel that mistakes are a no go area.

    What you have shared is so true and I do love the tips you have shared. In all when we get over our insecurities by loving ourselves, we can make a difference and be a light to our world.

    Thanks for sharing. Take Care

    • Dan Drew

      March 1, 2016 at 8:08 pm

      Loved that mind spinning thought. Made me laugh. I do get overload of what to do, and what to concentrate on. There are so many good things to think about.

      I can see your light shining brightly. Thank you. Your kind words mean a lot. I want to shine a brighter light.

      Dan

  16. Sarupa Shah

    March 1, 2016 at 11:04 pm

    Hi Dan and interesting look at a topic that is often written about and misunderstood. Bravo!

    • Dan Drew

      March 2, 2016 at 6:54 pm

      Hi Sarupa,

      I’m glad you found this to have interest and value. I always think the search for clarity is worth every effort. All can certainly help with that journey.

      Thank you for all,

      Dan

  17. Sharon

    December 27, 2016 at 2:30 pm

    It’s just a thought up for discussion. Do you think people who commit suicide love themselves less, than they love others? Because this year, 5 people who I knew had lost a friend, family or co-worker to suicide. Scary statistics there. Out of the 5, 4 are men.

    I, myself, lost a friend to suicide 2 years ago. Upon reflecting her life till death, she was always accommodating to people at work and her family.

    Vernon (earlier commenter) shared, “Self-love is accepting our humanness like you said and understanding things isn’t always going to go our way.” I’d recall that she will often complain about the same situation and people at work and home, whenever she encountered challenges.

    However she didn’t seem to do anything to improve her circumstances, even after I gave suggestions. I guess she wasn’t willing to rock the boat and I sensed she’s afraid her decisions will affect others at her workplace and home.

    Yet ironically, her death did.

    • Dan Drew

      January 1, 2017 at 6:40 pm

      Yeah, Sharon. Suicide is a tough thing. When my sister died to suicide, and then a relative (recently), it hurt. It hurt a lot. I wish people wouldn’t. I love them too much.

      To me, I don’t think it’s possible to love someone else more than you love yourself.

      I guess a person could do loving things for others, even if they’re down, depressed, suicidal.

      My wife told me the mental health factors, depression, challenges, darkness, etc., become so big, that their choices become blurred.

      I really don’t know what to say. I’ve heard that people need love, want it, and if much isn’t there, or they don’t recognize it, or accept it, then…

      I don’t know why a person can’t, or won’t, choose to love themselves, in some degree, or fashion.

      I know I have power over myself, and I am grateful.

      I know I’ve messed up, and will again, and that I can choose to forgive myself, and to love myself, and keep going.

      I know I am loved, and it means all the world to me.

      Thank you so much for your kindness and concern for those you know, others, and those who are gone, and are not coming back. They are so missed.

      Dan Drew




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