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7 Things to Tell Your Children About The Purpose in Life


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mother wants to tell her children the purpose in life as a role model

As a parent you know there are a lot of things to tell your children so that they are successful and find a purpose in life.

Well yes, telling them about the birds and the bees is one aspect, but this post is about the other important aspects of life.

My children are teenagers and I’ve been feeding them with information about life as and when appropriate.

Recently, I told some facts about life to my kids as I felt they needed a direction that would later help them find their purpose in life. Perhaps you can also relate to some of the points mentioned.

Lessons About The Purpose in Life

Here’s what I told my children about what I feel every pre teen, teenager, or adolescent child should know. May be it could help some adults too!

Did your parents also share similar things with you when you were growing up? Do you think they have helped you achieve your life’s purpose?

As an adult you can let all of us know too!

1. There is a purpose in life

There is a reason for everything in life.

All birds, insects, and animals have unique features and skills. They carry out special functions with which they help the nature and environment in some way or the other.

Similarly, every person is unique and has different interests, passions, desires, and skills. Each one has a useful purpose of life while living in this world, with a specific role to play.

You need to find what your purpose of life is. Read books or seek information on the Internet about successful people and their purpose of life.

Ask your teachers or us parents to help you answer your questions, and solve your queries about life and its purpose.

There are many ways to live your life. Finding your purpose gives you direction – tells you which way to go, and which path to follow.

It is not necessary that you become a celebrity or achieve fame to find your life’s purpose. Instead, you’ll feel good if you become somebody that makes a positive contribution to the world.

Have focus in your life – know what you want to be.

2. You ARE special

To be successful you need to know who you are, what is special in you, and what you want to do.

Yes, you’re special. You’ve some unique qualities that set you apart from the rest. You can do things, and do wonders.

You might want to do many things but it would help if you shortlist them to a few only. Then find the people who are the best in those areas.

Learn about their skills and habits. Find out how did they become successful and what they did to become successful.

Make them your role models and follow in their footsteps. But first know yourself.

You should be ‘YOU’ and not somebody else. Understand yourself by observing what you like to do and what gives you happiness.

3. Two lives to live

Everybody has got two lives to live in the same life – personal and professional lives.

Your personal life consists of having friends, family, and relationships. These are important support pillars of your life.

It is your values and principles that will shape you as a person and evolve you as a human being.

Your emotions are very important, which you need to understand and develop. Try to understand others by placing yourself in their shoes.

Empathy and sympathy will develop compassion in you. Kindness and humility will make you a good person.

Pure and true love will fill your life with happiness. Be honest with the one you love, whether it is your parents, friends, or life partners.

Your professional life consists of having a career. You’ll need a job to finance your activities and sustain your family.

It is what you learn in school and college that will help you take a job and make a career. You’ve to study and learn the skills well to have a good career.

To be really happy and successful in life, you need to have both – a good personal and professional life as well.

If any of these two lives have problems, you may not be completely happy. You need to make your life whole by doing what it takes to have successful personal and professional lives.

4. Fight the fear

Sometimes in life you’re haunted by problems caused due to fear. This often stops your progress or hinders you from doing what you want to do.

You may feel that you cannot do the task and find it as too difficult. You might ignore some important tasks just out of fear of failure.

Know that fear is a state of mind. Your mind is the engine that powers your desires and drives, and it can make you feel bad or good as well.

Your mind is the result of your thoughts. You can operate and change the state of your mind with the help of your thoughts.

If you think positive, you’ll have a positive mind that will always try to achieve what you want. If your thoughts are negative, they’ll stop you from achieving your dreams.

Besides fear, wrong habits become the biggest obstacle in your life. Never do things that harm or disturb your life.

You need to train and control your mind to be successful. And, you’ve many tools of life to help you achieve this objective.

5. Tools of life

Self-belief is the biggest and most powerful tool of life that will help you do or be anything that you want.

Believe in yourself. Know and believe that you’ve immense power within yourself. Believe that you can do anything that you want, if you want it enough.

Have self confidence. Be confident of your skills and talents, your abilities and capabilities. Feel that you’re something and act with total conviction.

Be disciplined. Discipline is self-control – of your thoughts, feelings, desires and actions in all aspects of life.

Choose good habits. Habits are behaviors that become repetitive. Have a routine that makes you do good things daily, which will help you achieve your aim or purpose of life.

Be determined and have a strong will power. It will help you to avoid distractions and keep doing things that are required of you for creating a happy future.

Respect yourself and have high self-esteem. Never think lowly of you – you are valuable and that is why you’re here in this world.

Have good and positive attitude. Your attitude defines success or failure. Develop an attitude that supports your aim and purpose of life.

Use self affirmations: Use the power of positive thoughts by thinking positive and self motivating statements in your mind.

6. Pitfalls of life

In the path of reaching your desired destination that fulfills the purpose of your life, you’ll find many pit holes like bad habits and bad company.

Avoid them. Else you might hurt yourself badly.

Never give in to drugs, and don’t get friendly with cigarettes and alcohol. Smoking and drinking are bad addictions that can destroy you and your life.

Lack of interest and lack of discipline may make you a loser. They may divert you on a negative path, or force you to live a compromised life you don’t like.

It is essential to keep the control of mind in your hands otherwise it can take you for a ride and make you fall for senseless desires and waste your crucial time.

Always remember that lost time can never be regained. If you procrastinate, are careless, or don’t value time then you may’ve to face a bad time in life.

At some moment in life, you might indulge in wrongdoing and still not accept or realize that, unless you’ve some values and principles in life.

7.  Principle of life

There are three important things you do – think, speak, and act.

Make it your principle in life to watch your thoughts, words, and actions. If these three elements are in line with your aim of life, you’ll achieve success and find your purpose in life.

Always think big, constructive, good, and positive. Your words carry the intentions of your thoughts. Words become actions, which then are an extension of your thoughts.

Thought is the primary tool that can make, change, or even destroy your life. Purify your thoughts and believe in their power.

Read, understand, and memorize this quote:

Watch your thoughts, they become words.

Watch your words, they become actions.

Watch your actions, they become habits.

Watch your habits, they become your character.

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Develop a good character and conscience that always keeps you in check, helps you in difficult times, and lets you hold to your values even in times of temptations.

I told my children to make their best efforts and not think about the outcome. Keep giving the best every moment – every time, and they’ll only get the best sooner or later.

Tell your children to think before they speak or do anything, so they can assess if what they do is polite, useful, and helpful in achieving their purpose of life.

Children are our future. They don’t know much or the reality of life. We can help them know part of it to prepare for life if told when they are young.

I wish my children remember this talk about life and implement it. I wish your children too imbibe the good points into their life that will help them find their purpose in life.

Over to you –

What do you tell children about their life? How should they prepare for it? What do you think they should know to be successful and achieve their purpose of life? Share your thoughts.

 

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos


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About Harleena Singh

Harleena Singh is a positive thinker and a freelance writer. She loves to write inspiring and thought provoking posts on self-improvement, family, relationships, health, and other aspects of life. She's not another personal development guru, but just an average person with great life experiences. She's also a blogger, who loves to share her blogging knowledge and experiences. Network with her on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+..

41 Comments

  1. Shalu Sharma

    January 23, 2013 at 12:45 am

    A good post on the purpose of life.

    These are difficult questions and even more difficult to answer. My children are very small at the moment hence do not even talk to them about it. But there will be a time when they will start questioning these type of things. But we need to prepare them in such a way that they can face hardships easily. As long as they develop a good character then half of the job is well done.

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      Harleena Singh

      January 23, 2013 at 12:56 am

      Hi Shalu,

      You’re right. We as parents need to prepare our kids for the hardships they’ll certainly face when they face the world. Such education often starts whenever the kids start understanding a bit about how the world works and become a little responsible.

      You hit the nail on the head – children need to be taught to develop a good character. As the saying goes – “When wealth is lost – nothing is lost, health is lost – something is lost, but if character is lost – everything is lost!”

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. :)

  2. Sylviane Nuccio

    January 23, 2013 at 5:55 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Ah I’m so glad that I got here early for once. It’s tough on me to be early on blog posts these days :)

    This is a magnificent post that any parents and youngsters both should read.

    I remember that early in life I was asking myself about the purpose of life, but unfortunately due to her own upbringing, even know my mother was very smart, didn’t have the answer to such question. Not back then anyway.

    It’s very important to know that life has its pitfalls, that bad associations brings bad results, and that fear can be a huge handicap. And those are things that you’ve brought up in this post.

    I am still learning so much about life, and my personal development niche is making me learning more and more each and everyday.

    When I was 20 I didn’t even like life, but now, I’ve learned to love it.

    Thanks for writing this post for children, teenagers and their parents too :)

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      Harleena Singh

      January 23, 2013 at 11:35 am

      Hi Sylviane,

      Yes, you’re early and thanks for trying to do so! But know that it’s always nice to have you over whenever you find time to come on my blog.

      I’m glad you find the post worthy for children as well as parents. I understand not every parent either has the awareness, or the details, or the time to explain these things to their children.

      I know with the hectic life, so many things to do, and enormous amount of stress it is difficult to find for both the parents and children to sit together and talk about life. It takes a back seat. But I believe if told in a nice way to children very early on, such awareness might just remain at the back of their mind and subconsciously or consciously help them in their life.

      I think not only you but everybody is constantly and continually learning about life. Like you, my blog is helping me grow too because you learn and retain more when you teach.

      I used to hear clichés like life starts at 40,50,..so on and wonder how could that be true. Now I know that real happiness comes from having wisdom and understanding life in its depth and detail, which usually happens in later ages, when you’re relatively free from the generally eccentrically excited and experimental age of the youth.

      Thanks for sharing your personal experiences and thoughts. :)

  3. Mayura

    January 23, 2013 at 8:41 am

    Hi Harleena,

    I love when you say ~ “Make their best efforts and not think about the outcome”. I’m glad I follow it already and but when comes to society, they believe in outcome with less effort no matter what mostly. Outcome matters too, but if we are only think about it, then you know what happens, right? :)

    I love my home. But no such discussions for me at home dear :) That’s how things goes here and the reason why I was looking for totally a different life in future. May be that’s why I love such things now. There was a teacher in my school days, who always teaches about these while teaching mathematics. I remember once I lost the way to school and finally found the way and came to class. I was so late and thought I’d be punished. But instead she listened to my story and told it to the whole class and what they can get out of it :) I loved her and she was always like a mom for every child :) I can say she’s online now and it’s you Harleena. May be I’m bit emotional or understand facts in that way, no?

    I used to procrastinate and an online friend of mine got me out of it :) I’m really grateful my friend Donna there. Else I’d be a stressful person this month. You know why :)

    Ah… Smoke, alcohol and drugs are things I avoid all the time. What I’m worry about is passive smoking though. I value my time mostly now and thinking of saving and using more time to be with my family all the Harleena :) Home is heaven as always.

    Fear is something I wanna fight more harder to achieve more Harleena :) I’m bit afraid of self-esteem though I gain a lot past few years and I will :) This year is all about being rich in every aspect.

    Thank you so much for your wonderful post dear :) That’s really an inspiration for me. I’d love if I had a sister like you :) No worries, I have you here, no? ;)

    Cheers…

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      Harleena Singh

      January 23, 2013 at 12:00 pm

      Hi Mayura,

      I’m glad you found the post inspirational. You’re wise for your age and I’m happy that you already implement most of the things talked about in the post, even if you did not directly learn them from home.

      The key to success is ‘believing in yourself,’ utilizing all resources and improving yourself, and then making best efforts every moment. This is very logical. If every moment of your present life is good and best, then your past becomes something to feel good about. Like I was told by my mother that if you aim and work to get the full 100 marks in an exam, you might at least end up getting somewhere in the line of 80s and 90s. And that’s good enough too. If you do not aim high and do not give your best, it is less probable that you get good results. Outcome is related and directly proportional to your efforts.

      Good to know about your school teacher and I respect your feeling and thoughts for me. I’m glad if I can help you in anyway. You get so much of help online if you look for, and there are so many who are there for you, like Donna for instance.

      Saving both time and money are very good habits and wise decisions in life. You’ll get over the other obstacles if you try to with full determination and the right knowledge. I’m sure you’ll have a great prospering year if you think so.

      You can count on me anytime. Thanks for sharing your life experiences and views. :)

  4. Linda

    January 23, 2013 at 9:48 am

    HI Harleena,

    I am having a tough time with my teenager – he is 17 and he is driving me crazy.

    One day he decided he was going to go out and do something (not sure if it was drinking, drugs or girls) but I hadn’t heard from him all day long – he has a job, and so I figured he would be home for dinner – well dinner came and went and I tried calling, texting and nothing. Called around – no on had heard from him. Mind you, he is normally on the ball about telling me where he is (whether its the truth or not, I don’t know) but it got to be 1am and I was posting on Facebook as I am friends with his friends and no response – no one had heard from him…finally got one girls attention and she called around and nothing! By this time I am thinking the absolute worse…come 2am – there he is walking in the door and we got in one major fight and he couldn’t understand what he did was wrong and he lied to me about where he was (I followed up, he probably thought I wouldn’t) – he tells me he fell asleep in some parking lot – well that tells me he was either drinking or doing drugs or with a girl! I have yet to find out the answer, but let me tell you, posting on Facebook as him being missing did not fly well with him and he got quite the mouth full from some people. Doesn’t matter how you want or tell your kids to be, they are them own selves and all we can do is pray that god keeps them in good health and out of harms way.

    It is so hard being a single parent with a teenager, but thankfully we have friends and family willing to help.

    Linda

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      Harleena Singh

      January 23, 2013 at 6:06 pm

      Hi Linda,

      Welcome back to the blog after a long time! I see that you’ve a new website too – congratulations for that! :)

      I feel pre-teens is best to start feeding the information about the expected behaviors and actions on becoming a teenager and an adult. Sometimes it gets difficult to make teenagers understand after they’ve a semi-independent life of their own. And, children of the age of your son generally get selfish with their own life affairs. They might not be that sensitive and emotional about matters which we might think of so. For most of them, their friends are more important than family. They do get irresponsible too. But then, most of them do realize their mistakes or at least accept it within themselves as they grow up and understand things. But as a parent, I know your major concern is that your son remains safe and healthy.

      As a parent, it is good that you’re aware and in contact with the friends of your son. That is a very wise thing to do. It happens with teenagers that they do not conform to what is expected and do not really think it makes a difference if they don’t. And if they’ve a bad addiction or bad company, then probably they’ll understand it too late.

      Your Facebook campaign did affect your son. He is concerned about his image and what people think of him. Perhaps this event will be a lesson for him to not repeat what he did. But still, he might not think of it as a mistake.

      I always believe that talking and communication do sort out and solve things to an extent, depending upon various factors. May be if you try to change your approach and attitude towards your son and make an effort to talk about what you want and convey your feeling s and thoughts but in a different way that he finds not negative, he might pay heed to it. Yes, being a single parent of a teenager is not an easy job, and you probably know best what to do in your situation.

      I’m glad you’ve friends and family for help and support and that is really a big factor. I wish you and your son develop a better rapport and understanding in the times to come.

      Thank you for sharing you experience, feelings, and thoughts. I’m sure it relates to other parents who are reading this and may be they’ve some suggestions for you. :)

  5. Janell !ares

    January 23, 2013 at 12:12 pm

    Awesome Read! I shared it!

  6. Paul Morin

    January 23, 2013 at 6:41 pm

    Great article and a great message, Harleena! Kids really need to hear these messages as much as possible! It’s like learning another language — it’s the language of self-esteem and a sense of purpose.

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      Harleena Singh

      January 23, 2013 at 6:52 pm

      Hi Paul,

      Welcome to the blog! I’m glad you like the article.

      I agree with you that these things should be told to children as early and as much as possible. One point can be taken at a time and told in different interesting ways using examples so it doesn’t sound as lecturing or preaching. :)

      Thanks for stopping by and hope to see you around more. :)

  7. Deone Higgs

    January 23, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    While I don’t have any children at the moment, I do think it’s imperative to prepare them as much as possible for the real world. Oftentimes, parents are only able to give their children what they, themselves were given, or have learned along the way.

    In my case, there really wasn’t a lot of talk or preparation being given… well, not in the area of life purpose. I pretty much had my own share of hits and misses, until I finally learned what I’m passionate about, and how I could apply that passion to my life.

    I guess you can say I took the long route to my purpose. However, I believe I’ve found the perfect fit for me.

    Great article, Harleena! You’ve nailed another one, my friend.

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      Harleena Singh

      January 23, 2013 at 10:05 pm

      Hi Deone,

      I’m happy that you like the article. I’m also happy for you that you’re able to find your purpose, even if it came a bit late or took the long route. All that ends well is well, right? You need to brush off the past memories and move on.

      You’re right that most of the parents are only able to pass on what they themselves received as children. But somebody somewhere needs to break the pattern, and it does happen. The more the awareness and more are the chances of parents changing their ways and adopting new parenting methods.

      Thank you for stopping by and sharing your experience and thoughts. :)

  8. Jodi Heal Now and Forever

    January 23, 2013 at 9:32 pm

    Look at your facebook likes! (Maybe soon I will ask you your fb strategy.)

    Splendid article! Parenting can be a guessing game so I think parents really appreciate good solid advice like this! I know I do! You hit the target again, Harleena!

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      Harleena Singh

      January 23, 2013 at 10:11 pm

      Hi Jodi,

      I’m amazed and surprised too! This post has gone viral!! :) Honestly, I don’t have any special FB strategy; believe me, this just happened.

      I’m happy that you too like the article. Yes, sometimes direct tips are more effective than a descriptive analysis of the topic.

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

  9. Sapna

    January 23, 2013 at 9:58 pm

    HI Harleena

    Great!

    I believe that this is the message and the lessons of the life which needs to be taught to children in order to succeed in personal and professional life not once but on regular basis. I have been telling my daughter that do whatever you enjoy but you should be the best in that, so far as the career is concerned.

    A clear instructions to her to lead a very disciplined life and never to have any fear in life, I don’t want my children to have any fear of any type, but here I would say family and friends also plays a greater role in shaping their character.

    Thanks for sharing this great post.

    Sapna

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      Harleena Singh

      January 23, 2013 at 10:19 pm

      Hi Sapna,

      Definitely, these are some of the basic lessons of life that can be taught to children as well as grown ups at any time of life and for any number of times. Children need to be reminded else they forget.

      I’m sure you’re trying your best to impart the best of values and education to see that your child has a successful future. And yes, you’re right that family and friends act as a great support system.

      Thanks for stopping by and for sharing your life and views. :)

  10. Corina Ramos

    January 24, 2013 at 6:23 am

    Hello Harleena,

    My goodness, this is so inspirational and like others who have shared their thoughts, this couldn’t have come at a better time. Throughout my reading the post I can hear myself saying the exact same thing to my kids, just not so eloquently :)

    When I became pregnant with my first child, who is 23 years old now, my grandmother told me to lead by example. The way I want my child to be as an adult is the way I should behave in front of him. Five kids later, they have seen me at my best and at my worst when I battled depression, but what made me want to get better was what my grandmother said.

    I was also moved by Linda’s comments, as I’m having similar issues with my 19-year-old. Not so much that he’s staying out all night, he’s not motivated to do anything, work, school, volunteer, nothing. There have been times I want to throw my hands in the air and give up, he probably wishes what I would, but that’s the last thing I’d ever do. So to Linda, hang in there and don’t give up.

    I took the quote, printed it out and taped it to the fridge so we can see it every day. A good way to start the day and end it when I get my midnight snack :)

    Thank you so much for being so inspirational :)

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      Harleena Singh

      January 24, 2013 at 7:09 am

      Hi Corina,

      I’m happy that you find the post inspirational. The things I mentioned in it are not something new as I’m sure every parent thinks about most of them. It’s just that I feel may be not everything is conveyed and expressed at the right time.

      If you hit the iron when hot or catch the cat before it enters the tunnel, you can avoid much of the efforts that you need to make to resolve the problems later. But not everything goes as per plan every time.

      Thanks for your suggestion for Linda, patience is the key for all parents to deal with children. Keep making the efforts in the right direction and the problems resolve when given some time. Teenage is the most turbulent phase of a child’s life, and the waters generally calm down after this phase. You know best as your first child is through that phase.

      You give a good tip for budding parents – to be a role model. That’s so true and parents have immense responsibility to take care of all the aspects that affects a child’s behavior and thinking. You cannot blame other if you mess up with your own self and responsibility.

      I’m glad you’re making the right choices and using great ways to work with your children. My best wishes are with you.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your personal experiences and thoughts with everybody. :)

  11. MANICKAM VIJAYABANU

    January 24, 2013 at 11:22 am

    Harleena,
    Very nice and meaningful post. From my view, either toddler or teenager ,dealing with kids is really an art and we need to understand the work around and patience. The real life over there.

    When kids grow up, most kids tend to incline towards friends to share things rather sharing with their parents. The reason is privacy or the intimacy we maintain with our kids. Some times kids may feel we are far away from their world. If we could make our kids comfortable to discuss anything with us, that’s the real success and great parenting, and they will never go wrong from our ring. Absolutely we need tremendous energy and should understand as how to behave as their age when they grow up. From kids view, they wish secure friends rather just parents.

    Being parents, Every stage is a learning curve and should understand the importance of kids concerns and feelings are crucial to navigate them at right path.

    Thanks for the wonderful post.

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      Harleena Singh

      January 24, 2013 at 6:28 pm

      Hi Manickam,

      Thanks for liking the post. I agree that parenting is a skill and an art. Just like any other skill, not everybody is born with it and they’ve to make efforts to learn it. The job of parents does not end merely with bringing the child into the world.

      One reason why some kids do not like to share their thoughts and feelings with parents is that they fear they’ll be lectured, preached, or scolded. Or they feel their parents don’t value them or understand them. You’re right in suggesting that parents need to make their kids comfortable by communicating more, getting involved, and trying to understand things at their level. As kids grow up, you need to be more friends to them than parents, right?

      Parenting is no easy job and its laden with the heavy responsibility of navigating the path children take to find their purpose in life. Thanks you for contributing your views. :)

  12. Corinne Rodrigues

    January 24, 2013 at 5:29 pm

    The fact that your post has gone viral shows just how relevant and useful it is, Harleena! I wish that all parents will read it and keep it in mind. I have up close the devastating effects on children when they are not made aware of their own specialness by their parents. Instead, many parents compare their children to other children, leading to low self-esteem and a lack of confidence.

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      Harleena Singh

      January 24, 2013 at 6:35 pm

      Hi Corinne,

      Yes, I too feel that. I re-read my post many times to see if I did anything different or special to it. I poured in my thoughts and views like always, but yes this post is based on a real incidence and these are the very points that I narrated to my children.

      I hope and wish parents get inspired and view their children and their own role differently. As we’re distinct individuals, so are our children unique and special!

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. :)

  13. Ravi budhwar

    January 24, 2013 at 7:42 pm

    Nice Post Harleena, and i agree with your most of the points and specially the points like each and every child is special and we have to make realize the child that you are also special.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      January 26, 2013 at 8:11 pm

      Hi Ravi,

      I’m glad you like the post. Yes, each one of us is unique and special.

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

  14. B k chowla

    January 24, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    Each parent looks at this subject/issue differently.
    I for one feel, parents must educate their children about values of life in totality.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      January 26, 2013 at 8:14 pm

      Hi BK,

      Yes, of course. Every issue can have many perspectives. I agree that parents should teach the values of life to their children according to their age and understanding.

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

  15. Amandah

    January 24, 2013 at 8:36 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    I told my niece and nephew to pursue careers that make them happy. My nephew knows he wants to go into construction because he likes working with this hand, but he’s also thinking about studying to become an architect. My niece is like me when I was 19 and needs to figure out what she wants to do. I told her not to stress about it because most people will have several careers throughout their life.

    I’ve told my niece and nephew to avoid taking life so seriously. Sadly, we have a tendency to create unnecessary drama in our lives. Don’t you think?

    I also stress the importance of acceptance and forgiveness.

    Finally, kids today need to know that success may not happen overnight. Often times, celebrities are portrayed as being overnight sensations, when in fact, it may have taken 10 or more years for them to achieve success.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      January 26, 2013 at 8:48 pm

      Hi Amandah,

      Getting to choose a career which involves doing what you love to do is the best thing that can happen to anybody. I’m sure your nephew will be successful in making a good career as he seems to be focused and knows what he is doing. Your niece, as you say, has time in her hand to make up her mind about what she wants to do in life.

      I’d say it differently – be serious about life but play it cool. You’re always at loss if you over stress and panic. You’re absolutely right about the fact that success doesn’t happen overnight – it does rarely but mostly there is a lot of hard work behind it. I’m sure your niece and nephew understand this fact and you’ve been a good guide to them.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts and views. :)

  16. Debbie

    January 24, 2013 at 9:28 pm

    Love your Quote Harleena. It does need printed out and taped up in every house with children.

    One thing that I remember when a teen is the trust that my mother had in me when away from home. Because I knew she trusted me, I was a better teenager. If i had though she didn’t i would have most likely proven her right.

    With my 3 girls I did try to perpare them for adult life by watching what they liked to do and didn’t like to do. Than I would talk to them about it and also point out the talents that i saw in each of them.

    Thanks for a great post and yes, If you have teens be patient but strong with them.
    debbie

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      Harleena Singh

      January 26, 2013 at 8:59 pm

      Hi Debbie,

      I’m happy that you love the post and find it so worthy.

      Absolutely, the trust of a parent in their children creates a secure bond and mostly the child feels genuinely obliged to honor the trust, be caring, and have respect for the parent.

      You’ve gone methodically in parenting of your children taking care of their uniqueness and individuality. That is the way to go. A very good and short tip for parents of teenagers – “Be patient but also be strong.” True, I can say as I’m going through that phase now.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing your valuable thoughts and sharing your experiences. :)

  17. Adrienne

    January 24, 2013 at 11:51 pm

    I bet you’re a great Mom Harleena.

    To answer your first question, no. My parents never talked to be about this stuff. They actually never even told me they loved me if you really must know the truth. That’s only because their parents never showed them love and affection and they sure never told them. It wasn’t until we were a little older that my brother and I started telling our parents. I love that their kids actually taught them this.

    Now back when I was young there weren’t a lot of drugs but I was told to steer clear of alcohol which I totally ignored. I drank mostly wine but it never got out of hand because I was still a pretty good kid.

    I don’t have children of my own but I do have nieces and nephews. I shower them with my wisdom and I will admit they’re all really great kids too.

    ~Adrienne

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      Harleena Singh

      January 26, 2013 at 10:15 pm

      Hi Adrienne,

      I just try to be a good mom but honestly I’m like any other mother with lots of promises and problems. My parents too never told me all this stuff but I thought to break the pattern here. I strongly believe in change and improvement.

      True, parents are not perfect and they also learn from their kids. You broke the pattern by being different and learned what they didn’t teach you.

      Some people do not show or express their love but have the emotions within – my husband is like that. Some do things for their children to show that they love them.

      Your values, self identity, and self esteem were high and that is probably why you didn’t let yourself overindulge in drinking when you’re young.

      I’m sure your nieces and nephews benefit from your words of wisdom and I’m sure you shower your love on them too.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your life experiences. :)

  18. Sareena

    January 25, 2013 at 11:50 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Great post!!!:)..While I don’t have any kids now, I often think how to bring up my kids to become good human beings. This post is definitely going to help me through.

    You are right that sympathy and empathy make one compassionate and kindness and humility a good person. At this point I would also like to stress the importance of being “YOU” and believing in your talents because I feel a majority of the young generation is trying to imitate their role models rather modelling them which is killing their uniqueness.

    From the way my parents brought me up ,I feel parenting is a great art and skill. However, today’s parents should be more of like a friend to their kids. They should step into the shoes of their kids and see how they view the world. This will help the parents to understand kid’s concerns and feelings and help navigate them to the right path. Communicating with the kids in the way they want to will make it easy for the parents to make them understand the meaning of life and the importance of discovering their purpose of life.

    Thank you Harleena for sharing your experience. This post is really a must read for children as well for adults :)

  19. Kristina Moore

    January 25, 2013 at 3:14 pm

    I don’t know why but this article somehow reminds of Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life but you have steered it into different angle and different subjects – to the parents point of view. Before I wanted to choose a career that I really wanted to pursue though I am not sure if I will succeed or if I will have a future in that field, good thing my parents guided me throughout my journey. Yes, it was hard but having surrounded with people who loves me and motivates me – it makes life a little bit bearable.

  20. Vidya Sury

    January 26, 2013 at 9:58 pm

    Wonderful post. With the little we had as I grew up, my Mom tried her best to encourage me in every way she could. In a world where a majority of families believe that the only career path is via an IIT /Engineering or medicine, it is so important to recognize that we need people in various professions to balance the economy. The competition is tough and the pressure, high. Growth happens beyond academics. With a teenage son of my own, I can identify with how important it is to built the right belief system and values. I am trying my best :-)

    Thank you for a great read.

    Love, Vidya

  21. Zephyr

    January 27, 2013 at 7:21 pm

    This post sounds like the collection of things I used to tell my boys over the years as they grew up and today feel gratified to see that the son is passing on some of them to his daughter :) But put as a collection, it is a great guide for not only kids, but also to us, for the times we tend to forget them.

  22. Sarah Park

    January 29, 2013 at 12:03 pm

    This is a very inspiring post. As early as now, I want my kids to realize how important life is and how they should live it.

  23. Gladys Cruz

    January 30, 2013 at 7:42 am

    What can I say! Such a powerful and down to earth article. This is very timly due to the times we are living in. There is so much in the media that adds to the negativity that children and teenagers are experiencing. I believe the best model is ourselves. Be transparent with our children and let them know that if they mess up, it’s ok for them to talk to us. My daughter had a child out of wedlock, (she is now 37 years young) but she felt comfortable enough to share with me what had taken place. I never felt to condemn her or berate her, but I loved her all the way through the pregancy. She has now developed to be a awesome mom and she is currently teaching her children of their Life Purpose. Teenagers need to know that if they mess up, it’s not the end of the world.
    Again, I appreciate all of your articles.

  24. Kabenlah Cudjoe

    February 21, 2013 at 11:40 am

    Parental love is somethhng I never had when growing up. I learnt everything through life by myself and it’s really amazing.
    This is a great post and was truly influencial.

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