Are You Being a Good Father

Being a good father is not an easy job, but if you really want to become a great…
Father and son enjoying fishing at lake

Being a good father is not an easy job, but if you really want to become a great father to your kids, it’s not difficult either.

Even though I am a mother, I can say about what a father should be like since I’ve seen my dad, who is a living example of being a wonderful father to us kids – someone I am proud of.

A good father makes all the difference in the life of a child, because he is the perfect person they look up to. He’s always a pillar of strength, discipline, and support.

But yes, just like mother’s, a father’s work is endless, and most of the times, a thankless one, which I hope would be valued and appreciated some day by their children.

However, at the end of the day, the work of parents pays off when it shows in the well-adjusted, sound, settled, and the well groomed children both the parents raise with so much of love and care.

“Fathers, like mothers, are not born. Men grow into fathers and fathering is a very important stage in their development.” ~ David Gottesman

I did write about my father and all that he’s taught and instilled into us, which makes him an exceptional father in the real sense. Similarly, if you are a daughter or son, you would be able to relate to the post.

However, if you are a father yourself or plan on becoming one or you have been absent and not involved in your child’s life due to various reasons – then today’s special tribute on Father’s Day may hold more meaning for you.

Nevertheless, I’m sure the rest of you are already trying your best at being a good dad, and a few tips may help you further.


Tips for Being a Good Father

Most of you are wonderful dads, and try your level best to become a better parent. However, for those of you who want to know more about being a wonderful father to your kids, the following tips may be of use.

And don’t fret if you find something that you aren’t following; it’s never too late to start!

“It is much easier to become a father than to be one.” ~ Kent Nerburn

1- Stay calm

Children mostly do things that upset or provoke you, sometime intentionally to seek your attention, sometimes unintentionally.

In such situations, a good father needs to keep his temper, and not yell, scream, shout, or punish them for their minor flaws, because he is angry.

You need to remember that if you do any of the above, that is what your kids will learn and carry it forward. Yes, sometimes it’s not easy to keep your cool, but it’s the only thing that works.

Just as you are not perfect, so you shouldn’t expect perfect children too, though keep guiding them to do what is right. Just enjoy your kids and learn to listen to them more than anything else.

My father wasn’t really calm either, but he learned the skill with time, especially after my mom who was a very special person, and now he rarely gets angry with us.

2- Remain patient

Often times you may wish as a father that your kids would just get around on their own and learn things, or be responsible and take care of their own tasks and chores, without you having to remind or tell them anything a 101 times.

These are the times as a good father; you need to be patient and understanding. You need to remember that children are children and take time in learning things, so give them your patience, time, and attention because they are worth it.

My dad learnt the art of being more patient once he started doing meditation, which enabled him to convey things or his feelings to us in a better way.


3- Be loving and caring

I’m sure all father’s and mother’s must love and care for their children, but for those of you who aren’t able to show your feelings, it’s important to remind your children that you love and care for them.

You need to show and tell them how much you love and care for them, by supporting them when they need you, being there to wipe away their tears, and not to forget to hug them, even when they grow up.

This is something I have always appreciated about my dad and mom, because they both have always been very expressive in showing their love for us children.

4- Be proud of your kids

As a good father, you need to be proud of your children and their smallest of achievements. It’s important to tell your kids, and not just your co-workers, family, or friends, how proud you are of them.

Your children need to hear it from you that you’re proud of them, because they would mostly do those things again to make you proud. And it certainly boosts your self-esteem, morale, and confidence levels!

If you tell them that you are proud of their grades, they will try to get good grades every time. Or if you tell them you are proud of the way they are becoming better or taking care of their siblings, or whatever else, they will always try to do the same things to make you proud again.

I remember my father always praised and appreciated the smallest of my efforts, which made me reach cloud 9!

5- Always be honest

Children look up to their parents, mostly dads or moms who are their role models, and who need to lead by examples. Thus, you need to be honest with your kids, because that’s what your children will learn from you.

Often times, you may try or want to hide things from your kids because it’s inappropriate or for other reasons. You need to be honest and explain it to them as to why you aren’t disclosing certain things, instead of lying or covering it up with other lies.

Whenever I had questions which my dad felt I was too young to understand, he always told me that he would explain them to me once I grew up, and I appreciated that honesty.

6- Teach them about respect

It is of course vital that your kids respect you, but it’s also important that you learn to respect them and their decisions.

However, when you respect their decisions it allows them to grow and learn, and you are able to talk to them as separate individuals.

It’s respecting their decisions even if you don’t agree with them, or even if you think it’s not right for them. It doesn’t mean you stop guiding them; instead just accept that sometimes they need to find their own choices, which helps them grow up emotionally and mentally.

Also, you need to respect and support your child’s mother. When kids see their parents respecting one another, they feel that they too are accepted and respected, and this lesson passes on into their lives.

There were times when my dad on purpose left certain tough decisions on me, and he’d respect the ones which I chose to make. That helped me make independent choices later in life.

7- Be a father and a friend

Children need someone who they can confide and talk out things with, though that doesn’t mean that you just remain their friend. Kids need a father more than they need a friend, and you as a dad are the best option for being one.

Being a father is all about being a caring, loving, and understanding parent to your kids, besides taking full responsibility for them. However, if you are not a good father to them, they would look for that influence elsewhere.

Also, don’t have unreasonable expectations from your children. Their lives are already filled with pressure and stress at school, with friends, teachers, and other things.

Instead, help them understand their desires, know their capabilities and their limitations, and help them set goals that they can achieve. Don’t compare them to others, instead encourage their achievements and understand the importance of family time.

My dad was always a father to me more than a friend, but as I grew up he started treating me as a friend and I would go to him for guidance about so many of my life’s decisions.

8- Be firm

It doesn’t mean being firm in the sense of creating strict rules, which if broken lead to physical punishment. Instead, be firm in your decisions, and when you make rules, stick to them.

If your kids are supposed to return home at a particular time, and turn in later, have certain punishments set for them, though ensure you carry them out. This makes them realize that you mean what you say, so that they are careful next time and don’t repeat things.

However, don’t be unbendable and let them have a little freedom just in-case a rule breaks, though making things clear about what you really want.

My dad was a disciplinarian, and whenever we crossed our limits about certain things, we were grounded for a day till we learnt to abide by the rules.

9- Be who you are

When you want to be a good father, you need to remember to be yourself around your children. Some people are totally different around their kids than they are when around other people.

Remember, your kids see all this and it has a negative effect on them. It shows them that you are being deceitful as you can’t really be two different people, thus you erode their trust in you.

It also teaches them that they too can play such dual characters when they grow up in life, or sometimes they may begin showing two parts of themselves right in-front of you, without you noticing it.

My dad was always as he is, whether in-front of people or us kids, except when at parties his attention would divert to his friends, but that didn’t change the way he behaved with us.

10- Always be there for your kids

Kids need a father, who is in their life, a person who pays attention to them, spends time with them, plays with them, and who is interested in them. Also, who does things with them and asks about them.

All that children need is a little bit of quality time from you – is that too much to ask? I don’t think so, because you all know how important the role of a father is in the life of a child, even when they grow up and settle down!

I remember my dad and mom always put us first, more than anything else. They were always there for us when we needed them. I thus understand the importance of family bonding.

Remember, the most important thing about being a great father is that it’s about ‘BEing’ a good father…it’s about who you are, and not about what you do.

Also, kids grow up very fast, and it’s the time you spend with them that they value and treasure more than the materialistic things. So, if you haven’t been able to spend time with your children, reach out and connect with them.

“You will find that if you really try to be a father, your child will meet you halfway.” ~ Robert Brault

My heart goes out to all those single dads who face real tough tasks raising their kids, and to those mothers who are left alone without a father to their kids, and had to face a difficult world alone.

It wouldn’t be right if I don’t mention my husband in this post, who is a wonderful father to our children. His efforts, love, care, deep understanding, emotional support, and just being a good father is truly appreciated.

 “Not every successful man is a good father. But every good father is a successful man.” ~ R. Duvall

Goodies for You

Some wonderful tips about being a great dad can be found here, and if you are trying to become a better dad, learn more about it here.

There is also a list of advice for dads worth checking out. Or if you are afraid by parenthood, head over here to overcome those fears and become a good father.

I had to put up this wonderful video that simply shows you a father’s amazing love he has for his child – hope you like it!


A Father’s Amazing Love ~ Dick and Rick Hoyt You Tube video

If you are on the lookout for some wonderful father’s day quotes then be sure to do so at Janet’s blog. Or if you are looking for technical gifts for your dad, head over to Carolyn’s blog for that.

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.” ~ Jim Valvano

Happy Father’s Day Everyone!

Over to you

So, after all that you read above – are you being a good father? What do the mothers feel makes a man a good father? Young and old fathers, how do you play your role of being a father? Also, if you’re a daughter or son, then share your experiences and thoughts about your father in the comments below.

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  1. What a great Blog, and with so many truths about the importance of being a good Father. I love it. I also have a Blog on Fatherhood, helpimafather(dot) which I would appreciate having any feedback on. It offers tips and advice on how to handle every day situations that arise with your children.

  2. Excellent suggestion! I always tell fathers that they are human and going to make mistakes. It is vitally important that we be able to say, “I’m sorry.” We expect children to say “I’m sorry” when they are wrong and we should be no different.


    1. Glad you liked the post Aaron!

      Committing mistakes is not bad, as far as one learns from them. But not accepting them is bad. And if we, as parents, are supposed to be role models, we’ve the responsibility to show our kids how to accept and apologize if they commit a mistake, knowingly or unknowingly.

      Great input to the post, thanks. 🙂

  3. Great Article Harleena

    A good question to me- Am I a good father… As a father Im following these criteria your mentioned.
    I really am. But sometimes I, being a true friend to my kids, can overreact, punish or even ,act a bit stupid.
    That’s life, I guess.

    1. Welcome to the blog Marcel!

      I am glad you are following all of the things mentioned, and it’s absolutely alright if you are a friend to them sometimes. That gives you the liberty to talk more openly with them, and punishments are given to make them better, which I’m sure your kids would understand sooner or later. It’s all a part of life and we as parents just need to keep learning how to get better – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  4. ALL great tips Harleena, and they will come in handy for me now that I’m a proud dad to a perfect little girl! 🙂

    I always knew the advantages of working from home, but now I can add one more!

    1. Glad you could relate to the post Warren!

      Yes indeed, I’m sure they will come in handy now that you are a father to your little girl. And I’m sure you are a wonderful – doting father as well and loving being a perfect parent too. 🙂

      I guess it’s perfect for you now to work from home all the more so that you have your little girl right in-front of your eyes all the time. Hope she doesn’t distract you that much. 🙂

      Thanks for sharing. It’s always nice to have you over. 🙂

      1. I picked up one of those Baby Bjorn carriers and it’s awesome! Not only can I take her through parks, malls, and such, but I can strap her on and go to work as well! LOL

        And yes, she distracts me like crazy! LOL

        1. Wonderful indeed!

          Those carriers are really handy – reminds me of my time when I did the same with my kids. It does make things easier. Ah…the distraction part is part of the game – isn’t it? And you wouldn’t want to place her in another room all by herself too. 🙂

          Guess just enjoy her in-between work. 🙂

  5. Reading this rather late, Harleena, but it’s always relevant.

    I do remember the beautiful tribute you paid your Dad here. Its amazing how, your Dad and mine, despite being away from their families they kept the bond with their kids so strong. My Dad and I have not always agreed but there’s always respect and so much love for each other.
    Glad you had some time with your Dad recenlty!

    1. Glad you could relate to the post Corinne!

      You surely are busy as I see so many posts coming up on your blog, which must be keeping your hands full and that’s wonderful too. 🙂

      Yes indeed, even though our dads were rather busy with their careers, they still managed to take out their time for their families and instill values into us, which carry on to our kids now. Sometimes disagreements or arguments are healthy too as they show that you do share your view point and are open enough to share things or discuss them out with one another, something that even I have with my dad – but those are healthy arguments or discussions. And yes, the love and respect only grows more each day for him. 🙂

      I did enjoy my trip to my dad, and as always it was rejuvenating.

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  6. Hi Leena,

    I love to hear stories from those who have had such wonderful, loving fathers, who have taught them so much. Your article brings hope to all to those who did not have a good experience.

    I love the tape you have included in your post. I read this story some time back and was so moved by it. This father gave his son, and the world, a look at what a true father’s love can do. Thank you for sharing. Sally

    1. Glad you could relate to the post Sally!

      I do feel I am blessed and lucky in a way to have such wonderful parents, and a father now who is always there for me. And just his being a good father in my life has made a difference all along I guess, as it does to so many other kids too.

      The video was something that moved me a great deal too and I just knew it had to find a especial place of mention on this post, and needed to be shared with all the wonderful readers of the blog. The father’s love is truly amazing as shown in the video – isn’t it? I think there are no words needed after we see the video. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by. Always nice to have you over. 🙂

  7. What a a beautiful and inspiring post for dads and dads to be Harleena.

    My father is no longer here on earth but his memory lives on in me. He still influences my everyday decisions in raising my own children. I love that i have memories of him, it’s the next best thing to having him here…

    1. Glad you liked the post Annie!

      I think the teachings, values, and feelings we have towards our parents we have lost always remain with us deep within – quite similar to my moms memories too. I remember her so fondly and do try my best to carry forward all that she taught and instilled into me – to my kids, though I know I still have a long way to go. But I know she is always beside me as my guiding light. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  8. Harleena, aloha. What great advice you give existing dads or dads-to-be. As you point out, it is never too late to start being a good dad.

    Because I so appreciated what you had to say in your post about your dad, I was looking forward to your Father’s Day post. What I like is the way you gave a tip and then related to what your dad did. Bringing it back to a personal level makes such a difference.

    Harleena, as inspiring as that video is, it pales in comparison to the love and depth of emotion that pours forth from Dick Hoyt when you see him speak about his son. A few years ago I was privileged to see them featured as the keynote speakers at a convention. What a treat! What a treasured memory I now have as a result of seeing their interactions. So glad you shared this clip so that others who may not be familiar with them now are.

    Thanks too for linking back to my quotes post. In cruising around the blogosphere I have seen some truly terrific quotes.

    Hope you and your family enjoyed a spectacular day celebrating the fathers in your lives.

    Wishing you a magnificent week ahead. Until next time, aloha. Janet

    1. Aloha Janet – nice to see you!

      Absolutely! I think whether you are already a dad or going to be one, and if you feel you haven’t been a good one or how would you go around being a new one – it’s never too late to start learning once again. 🙂

      I do try and relate posts that make or have made a difference to my life, and I know the impact my dad has on my life by just being a good father, in-fact the best one one could have. I did want to write so much more in this post, but the length would have really gone too long, though I would do so in the future posts. And I always do like to share my own personal experiences and lessons learnt along the way with everyone, just with the hope that it would help someone in some way.

      You were indeed lucky to have heard Dick speak at the convention – it must have made a great impact on people’s lives. I did hear a few of them on YouTube, but hearing them out must be something completely different. And just as this video clip shows the immense love he has for his son, I can just about imagine the flow of emotions when he must have spoken about his son.

      Thanks so much for those wonderful list of quotes, something that I always love to share on my blog too. 🙂

      We had a wonderful time first with my Dad, where we went on vacation, and thereafter with my kid’s father back home. Thus the slight delay in replying to the comments. Guess I was just BEing right there and enjoying each moment, which is all what life’s made about – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by. It’s always a pleasure to have you over. 🙂

    1. Glad you liked the article Galen!

      I hope your son and grandson find something worthwhile from the post too, and hope both of them had a lovely Father’s Day as well. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  9. Wow – another truly inspirational writing!

    And I think this is something for every parent, not just Dads! Us moms need the same advice too. My biggest issue is with patience – I always have to work on my patience. That comes with a Type A personality, I guess! At least my kids now recognize when mom’s patience is at it’s limit!

    Maybe this is something they should hand out to all new parents when they are leaving the hospital with their new little bundles!

    1. Glad you liked the post Carol!

      You are so right in saying that these points hold good for both, moms and dads, as parenting is always a joint effort. 🙂

      I think when we have many things to look into, patience does become an issue because we really can’t be all over and do everything, and when we try doing it, something or the other does take a back seat. I guess if our kids and family understand that part about us – it helps a great deal – isn’t it?

      It would make a lot of difference if each one of realizes our shortcomings and try to get better, which is all that matters at being a good father or mother. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  10. I try very hard to make sure to spend a lot of time with my children and to listen to what they say. I want them to understand that I love and value them.

    But I am also very careful to make sure they understand their are boundaries and consequences. I am their father and not their friend. When they are older we can be friends, but right now they need to know that if they do the wrong thing I will not ignore it.

    That isn’t to say that I don’t mess around with them because I do, but children do better with structure so I do my best to try and provide some.

    It is a constant juggling act.

    1. Glad you could resonate with the post Jack!

      I know how much your kids mean to me as you mention them so fondly on your blog posts. But they are still small and those finer qualities of realization come only with time, even though we expect it from our kids. I see my own kids and wish they would learn to value and love us too, but I’m sure with time, they would get there.

      You are absolutely right! When kids are young, they need a firm-disciplined hand to get them on the right track. And you can become their friend later once they grow up and learn more about life and it’s ways, as by that time their grooming is nearly over, though parenting never really ends. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by & hope you had a great Father’s Day! It’s always nice to have you over. 🙂

  11. Hey Harleena,

    Sorry to have been missing out of action! Mom was ill and I couldn’t find time to blog hop.

    I couldn’t agree more with the tips shared here. Though I have no experience of parenting, I have seen my father take care of us beautifully. Although he had his moments of being strict and not letting into all of our wishes, he knew how to be the friend and mentor we needed when growing up.

    I think the trick is to know the balance and all that will follow will just be fine!

    1. Nice to see you back Hajra!

      It’s absolutely alright, and I hope your moms feeling better now.

      I think most of us learn by example and seeing what and how our parents do things around us. The influence of our moms or just our fathers being around us makes a lot of difference in our lives – isn’t it?

      Being strict or disciplining their children is absolutely essential for parents, as that’s how kids learn. However, parents need to strike a right balance and also learn to be friends with their kids, besides being role models to them.

      Thanks for stopping by. Always a pleasure to have you over. 🙂

  12. I’m very sad to say that none of all these points are available in my children’s father, absolutely none of them.

    I already knew he wasn’t the ideal dad, but reading your post is one additional proof of his negative impact on them 🙁

    I have nominated your Blog for the sisterhood of the World’s Bloggers Award.

    1. Glad you could relate to the post Nikky!

      Sorry to hear that and I know all that you are undergoing that isn’t easy for a parent raising a child all alone, even though it could have been beautiful with both parents doing the same.

      I guess we need to follow our heart and do what’s right for our kids and family. And being the mother to your children you are the best judge to make out what’s needed for your kids. If you feel their dad has a negative impact on their lives, then keeping them away may be the only answer.

      Thanks so much for nominating my blog for the award – I am indeed honored. Would head right over and give it a look. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  13. I’ve read new stories about this Father before…what an amazing man. If I can be half the Father that he is, I will be satisfied.

    1. Welcome to the blog Craig!

      Yes indeed, the father in the video is what’s called BEing a real father to his son, someone whom we all need to learn from. The love he has for his son is seen all through the video, which is what touches so many people. I guess we can all try to be a little like him in some ways. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  14. Hi Harleena,

    Wow! What a wonderful post! I always cry watching that video. What a dad and what a blessing!

    I think the best thing to do is always, always communicate with your children. Tell them you are proud of them. Celebrate even the tiniest achievement and always have an open ear. I think my husband really does a great job about being a good father. Sometimes though the kids don’t appreciate him as much as he should be appreciated. Maybe they will once they get older and are father’s themselves.

    Thanks so much for sharing this with us!


    1. Glad you liked the post Ilka!

      The video is touching indeed, and the father’s love shown in it truly does amaze me too. The son is indeed blessed to have such a dad. 🙂

      Absolutely! Communication IS the key to all relationships I would say, and when you are able to talk or discuss things over with one another – freely, it’s half the battle won. And kids always do love to be appreciated, just like adults do – isn’t it? Most importantly, they look up to us parents for boosting their morale and telling them that we are proud of them and their deeds.

      I’m sure your husband is a wonderful father to your kids, but yes, parenting is a thankless job and it often goes unappreciated, something that my kids too are guilty of. However, I think there’s an age for everything, and just like I am so proud and speak fondly of my dad at this age, perhaps some day our kids would speak highly of their father too.

      Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. Always a pleasure to have you over. 🙂

  15. Hi Harleena,

    I’m not a father YET 😉 Oh I’m a love bird. You said that, right? 😉 But yeah, willing to. If I talk about my father he is a teacher and kind of a different person if you try to assess with above qualities you’ve mentioned. I’ve learnt most of things from my father about what not to do.

    I’m quite opposite of my father. Non-alcoholic + Non-smoker, more of patient and so. I was very fear of him but now we are much closer than before. But still that fear is in me. Due to that I feel how should I be for my children. I don’t wanna be like my father for them. But I love my father in a way 🙂

    I can’t agree with you more than what you have shared here. I like factor of being honest with children. Else they just think elder people always think children don’t know anything and hide from them. Being open with them and talking what matters is really helpful to build genuine relationship. As parents, sometimes needs to be tactful, but not mostly. If I wanna be a good father, what I should do is not writing or talking about it but PROVING it. isn’t it? 🙂 I’m willing to be a GREAT father. And I believe I can 🙂 Also I hope whomever read this will able to understand it well too.

    Great post dear 🙂 Thanks for sharing such a wonderful post on this specific day.

    Happy Father’s Day!


    1. Glad you could relate to the post Mayura!

      Oh yes! Though you are not a father yet and just found your first love, I’m sure you would make a wonderful and dedicated father, whenever the day comes. 🙂

      Every father is different and each one has their own way of teaching their kids the right from the wrong. My dad was a combination of all things I think, he was a teacher and a friend too, and he changed a great deal after my mom. I guess he taught a lot by example also. Good that you are a non-smoker and non-alcoholic, and have all the good things that you must have wanted to see in your dad.

      Sometimes when we are young and see some negative qualities in our parents, our mind is quick to make a mental note of those. As we grow older, we know the impact of those negative qualities, thus we try to instill only the positive qualities and leave out the negative ones. And this is what’s carried forward to our kids thereafter. I guess it’s best when we manage to just pick out the best of our parents qualities and imbibe those, which is what passes on to our kids, or at least we make sure that we pass on only the good parts to our kids.

      You are absolutely right that we should be open and discuss things freely with one another, which is what forms the basis of trust in a relationship, even if its between a child and his or her parents. And yes, deeds speak louder than words as they say, so you should prove that you are a great father (when you become one) rather than talk or write about it. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. Always nice to have you over. 🙂

  16. Hi Harleena,

    You’ve given some great tips for dads to be even better than they already are, and to learn a few new things as well. But I have to say the tears stated flowing when I watched the video. That was amazing and the smile on that young man’s face will not be forgotten. Thanks for sharing your inspiring words and the video as well. Have a great Father’s Day.

    1. Glad you could resonate with the post Cathy!

      I guess it costs us nothing if we try to get better, which being parents both moms and dads should work for – isn’t it? Ah…I think the video touched most people’s heart in some ways, and the dedication of the father in the video was what amazed me the most. The smile on the son’s face is what must be driving the father to run such marathon’s, who otherwise wasn’t into all such things earlier.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with everyone. Happy Father’s Day to you as well 🙂

  17. Hi Harleena,

    Excellent post and and advice for fathers. When I hear the word fathers I can’t help but think about how fathers have changed within the past 20-30 years. And really, that like yesterday, isn’t?

    Fathers of my father’s generation were more like providers of money and food than providers of special attention and affection, eventhough they were some, of course, but that wasn’t the majority, by any mean. Now looking at fathers of my grandfather’s generation it was worse even.

    I’m not trying to be negative here, just know it from what I’ve seen and heard about people and their relationships with their fathers. In my own father’s case, I lost him very young. I was only 5 when my father died in an accident, and even though I missed a father figure, really bad, as I am actually explaining in my last post, I didn’t not miss my “dad”. My mother told me that I didn’t even ask for him when he died, so that made it easier for her until she was ready to tell me that he had died. She also knew WHY I didn’t ask for him. Like I said he was a good provider father, but he didn’t know how to be a dad.

    Bottom line, anyone can be a father or mother, the question is… are you being a mom or a dad? That’s what makes us different as humans, doesn’t it?

    1. Glad you could resonate with the post Sylviane!

      You are quite right there about how fathers have changed nowadays as compared to a few decades back. They were generally provides of money, food, and basic amenities, whereas the mothers were the task-doers and had to handle the home and kids.

      Sorry to hear about the loss of your dad at that young an age, and I know how well your mom raised you single-handed, which speaks volumes about her love and dedication she had for you kids.

      You must have been so small to really realize what happened with your father, and didn’t miss him literally because because that closeness or bonding was never there with him, which may have been perhaps if he would have raised you, thus leading to a stronger feeling. Just as the quote in the picture says…any man can become a father, but it surely does take someone only special to become your dad!

      Yes indeed, it is the BEing that’s needed from moms and dads, not just becoming one. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. 🙂

  18. Amazing video Harleena. I loved watching that.

    One will be a perfect dad if he excels in all those points that you have mentioned. I have a long way to go for sure, there are many times when we realize these after the fact that we did the wrong thing with our kids, and those are times when I repent for bad behavior.

    It is a difficult task, parenting, be it for the mom or the dad, it takes lot of patience and skill to perfect it.

    1. Glad you liked it Praveen!

      The video did move me too and I thought it ought to be shared with everyone here. 🙂

      No one is really perfect, though parents always keep trying to excel being great parents and that’s what really matters – isn’t it? I am sure you are a wonderful father to your kids, who must be so proud of you.

      Yes indeed, we all do make mistakes that we tend to repent later, but that’s just being human I guess and such things happen with the best of us. As long as you are sorry for your behavior, make amends, and are ready to learn from them, it’s alright – I guess our children understand that part of us too. 🙂

      Parenting sure isn’t easy, but then it’s something you miss out too if you aren’t one. I think with time, each one of us tries to get better and does manage to strike a balance. But yes, it’s a long process and requires lots of dedication and patience, though I don’t think we would have it any other way too.

      Thanks for stopping by. Always nice to have you over. 🙂

      1. I love being a dad, and I feel really sorry for some friends of mine who are missing out on being a parent, either for their lack of urgency or some mis-fortune.

        It is one of the greatest gifts one can ever get, there are tough times yes, but all those are drained out just by looking at your child learning new things every day.

        Awesome days!!!!

        1. I also feel sorry for a few people who either don’t want to become parents due to various reasons, because they really don’t realize all that they are missing.

          Yes, parenting is never easy and most of the times it’s a challenging task. But if you ask most parents, they love being and doing what they are doing, and that’s how they learn and get better with time – isn’t it?

          Thanks once again. 🙂

  19. I’m glad you wrote about the part on honesty. I think we don’t pay enough attention to the little times in life when we are dishonest.

    1. Glad you liked the post Jodi!

      Oh yes! Being truthful and honest with your kids is very essential I feel, as that’s what they learn from you, besides so many other things, most of which we aren’t aware of. And it doesn’t really cost us anything if we remain honest – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  20. Well Harleena, you know I’m not a Dad nor a Mom for that reason but this was still a wonderful post. The video got me the most. What a dedicated father. So very touching.

    Thank you for writing this one in honor of all fathers on their very special day!


    1. Completely understand Adrienne!

      I know though you are not a Dad or Mom, but you did have a wonderful dad as I’ve so often read about him at your blog, so I can well understand what you must feel on days like this. And I’m sure Kayla makes up for all that remains missing around. 🙂

      The video touched me somewhere too because I yet have to see such a dedicated father, and all that he did for his son was amazing – just had to be shared with everyone.

      Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. 🙂

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