Letting Go: How It Helps You

- | 60 Aha! comments | Posted in category: Self Improvement

child letting go of stress and happy

Letting go does not mean giving up! In fact, it helps you gain peace of mind and move forward.

Today I’ve a special guest – please welcome Donna, who’s an intuitive life coach and personal development expert. Let’s read all that she has to share with us today – over to her.

Letting go of anything is so difficult for some people. It can be a hurtful family member or just a piece of furniture.

When we refuse to let go, what happens? We remain stagnant.

Our life is so cluttered with the old, often useless and dysfunctional stuff that we have no room for new things to come in.

I know how difficult it is when a loved one passes on. We mourn our loss and go through a ritual such as burying or cremating the person. Each culture has its own way of facing the “ending”.

We give ourselves time to mourn and then let go. I don’t want to sound morbid by using this example, but it is the ultimate experience of letting go.

Death is something everyone learns to handle because it is an inevitable part of the natural life cycle.

But what happens to people when they become entrenched in a specific lifestyle, or a particular journey and they just can’t adjust to any alteration or modification?

Why People are Afraid of Letting Go

People may stay at a job they don’t like because of fear of what is beyond their potential. Some stay there for years and do not allow themselves to grow and enjoy the things they may love to do.

I notice that when people refuse to let go of things that just don’t work for them any longer, their happiness and sense of self worth start to melt away. They cannot enjoy their spouse, their family, etc.

They may get angry or play victim to the very circumstances that they foster. In any case, they won’t allow themselves to try to extend themselves even for a job interview, let alone starting their own business.

And, often enough, if they do step out of their comfort zone and things don’t work out, they quickly play the blame game to make things somebody else’s fault.

Letting Go of Things in Your Life

I know a woman who is quite a hoarder. Now, this is a physical and transparent form of refusing to let go.

This person cannot let go of her furniture because it reminds her of her past. Her garage is full of surplus furniture and she always complained about it, and begged me to help her get rid of it. But first, I extended myself by visiting her to take pictures of everything, from furniture down to the silverware.

I made a photo album for her so she could keep those memories without cluttering her home. Little by little, she started to give away something here and there. But she didn’t let go of these things without anxiety.

So each time she gave something away, I suggested that she look at the picture we took. After two years, her house has nothing but the essentials in it. Now she is even ready to move to a new place.

Unsurprisingly, this woman’s willingness to let go of her furniture has opened her to letting go of some negative relationships in her life. As she has done so, she’s been able to replace them some good and positive relationships that she had previously avoided.

This is one simple way to illustrate how letting go of things go in our lives enables us to grow, and to move on to new adventures and possibilities.

woman happy after let go of stress

Letting Go and Starting Your Business

When it comes to our wonderful world of business on the internet, I find that lots of folks are fearful of letting go of menial jobs that are going nowhere in order to start their own business.

So, what can we do with the person who can’t let go of dead-end jobs and careers, even though they are fully capable of doing better?

“Create a back door!” I usually suggest. Go on working as usual, but create time to work on your own business. Nothing happens overnight.

Start your new venture part time, utilizing spare evening or weekend hours. There are many successful people who are doing business part time via the Internet.

That phrase “create a back door” is comforting to those who find it difficult to let go all at once. All one has to do is be diligent, persistent and a business will bloom.

Time is not necessarily of the essence here. “Letting go” is.

Starting an online business part time affords a comfort zone to many people that I’ve consulted with.

They can rely on the job that keeps them financially and emotionally comfortable, while taking daring little chances for a few hours a day.

It’s really not uncommon that before they know it, they are able to totally let go of the go-nowhere job and mentality, and apply themselves fully to doing what makes them happy.

Letting Go of People in Your Life

Letting go of people that are toxic is a biggie, too!

I must have heard a hundred stories about people that won’t let go of a toxic or worse, abusive relationship.

I feel this is the worst form of refusing to let go, especially if there are children involved in the situation.

It is often not an easy thing to let go of a partner because of financial situations, or worse, the syndrome whereby one spouse believes that they cannot survive without the other, even if it puts them (and others) in harm’s way.

Now, if there are children involved in this situation, they are being abused, too. Yes! If daddy is putting down mommy or even worse, displaying violence, the children will suffer, too. To me that is criminal.

But hey, I’m not Queen of the world. I just know this from my own personal experience!

When the abused spouse lets go of the abusive partner (and sometimes it is best to get help before one does it), they end up gaining strength. Why? Because it takes so much strength to deal with that situation, when it is over, the victim who couldn’t let go – turns into the victor who did.

Conclusion

So you see – letting go is often required in order for you to move forward in your life, and in your business.

We all need to let go of some things in our lives in order to grow. The above examples may be pretty extreme, but try applying it to even small things in your life.

Are you holding on to something that you just cannot shake? Do you dream of anything at all that you aren’t doing right now?

What are you waiting for? Let go of ANYTHING that is holding you back and realize that you never stuck in time, you are always evolving. Growth and development never end!

Over To You

Do you believe in letting go? What can you let go of to make room for growth and improvement in your life? Share in the comments.

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos



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60 Comments - Read and share thoughts

  1. Donna Merrill

    November 18, 2013 at 11:16 pm

    Hi Rachit,

    Letting Go is a broad statement. Here, it was all about how to let go of certain things due to business. There are so man people that need a little “boost” when it comes to this. All those things you mentioned are so important.
    Letting go of negative emotions is one topic that is certainly important. Sorry if you were disappointed, and expected something else. But your comment holds true.
    If we don’t get let go of anger, resentment, and all those other things, we suffer internally. When it comes to that, I have a saying that I personally believe in that helps me: “Let go and let God”

    -Donna

  2. Rachit Aggarwal

    November 18, 2013 at 6:08 pm

    Hi

    Honestly speaking, I feel that title is misleading, at least for me. I thought it will cover something like letting go of emotions like hatred,guilty or if you don’t like some person due to some harm he/she does to you, you should forgive him for your peace of mind…something like that.

    I am not sure just poured out my heart..

  3. Donna Merrill

    October 27, 2013 at 12:58 am

    Hi Lisa.

    We all get so comfortable in our routines don’t we? Then when we have to change up a bit, no matter what facet of life it is, we tend to want to hide under our blankets. He He He

    But change is inevitable and baby steps are the best way to go if we want to get out from under our covers!

    Good to see you here,

    -Donna

  4. Lisa

    October 26, 2013 at 5:28 pm

    Nice to see you here Donna! I think many people are afraid to let go of the familiarity and safety of the same old thing. It’s not easy to let go especially as one gets older but it sure can be done. Some days I wish I could run away and start over:) But if one can do it in baby steps that may help to let go and start fresh. Thanks for this inspiring post Donna. I hope you and Harleena have a great weekend.

  5. Sue Price

    October 26, 2013 at 2:24 pm

    Hi Donna and Harleena

    Great to see you here Donna.

    I love this topic. I have let go so many times in my life. I have moved around locations, lived in many different places and had several different careers.

    I think for someone like me it is easier to let go. My husband is a hoarder and he married me. So we are good for each other. I found commitment and perseverance difficult and he found moving and letting go difficult. We have balanced each other out.

    Having said all of this when we have left behind the city we were living in I did not find saying good bye to people I loved at all easy.

    A great subject Donna. Love it.

    Sue

    • Donna Merrill

      October 27, 2013 at 12:48 am

      HI Sue,

      That so great how you and your husband balance one another out! I too find letting go so easy because I moved around a lot when I was younger.

      My husband, on the other hand has lived most of his life in one town. Since we were together we moved 3 times. It was so funny when he looks back at our home and tears come to his eyes as he bids farewell. While I, on the other hand, try not to laugh and jingle the car keys.

      I think we balance one another out too!

      -Donna

  6. Donna Merrill

    October 25, 2013 at 9:18 pm

    Hi Vijesh,

    I do exactly the same thing. When you reach out to others to help them, and they take you for granted, it is time to move along.

    When we meet people who are “takers” ones that always take and find it impossible to give, it just creates a toxic energy. Letting go is what we have to do.

    I’ve done that myself and one time someone asked me why? I explained and she realized what she was doing, went for some help, and now she is more mindful and giving.

    Sometimes our actions speak louder than words. And maybe if we can touch just one person, they can grow too!

    -Donna

  7. Vijesh

    October 24, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    Hi Donna,

    Its true that some times some relationships keep us struck without letting us go forward. I let some people go as they some times think so selfish when we have helped them in time of need and when it comes to our need they don’t come forward. So at that time its better to leave them behind on their own journey and we take our journey in a separate direction. Thanks for reminding this principle.

    @Harleena, it has been long since I have visited your blog as I got javascript errors while submitting comments. I also was quite busy these days and I just thought to see on what’s going on here and I found this topic from Donna really nice one at this moment. I am going through some situations exactly as mentioned by Donna.

    Thanks for this beautiful article Donna…

  8. Karen Jolly

    October 24, 2013 at 4:46 am

    Hi Donna and Harleena!

    Thank you so much for this beautiful post! Perfect timing for me to reflect on letting go. This weekend I went through my closet and got rid of anything that was no longer needed in my life today. AMAZING how much stuff I was able to let go of. After I literally dropped off 5 huge bags of clothes, shoes, bags, office stuff etc., at Goodwill, I realized that I hadn’t been able to let go of these things before because there were certain aspects of my past that I had been unwilling to let go of.

    As I drove back to the house the realization hit that letting go of the past was clearing the energy for me to move forward in every area…including my closet! Thank you for sharing this Donna!!!

    • Donna Merrill

      October 25, 2013 at 9:07 pm

      Hi Karen,

      Yes, it’s that time of year to re-do our closets. It can come easy, but it is a reminder that we can let go of much more.

      Letting go of past things does clear the energy. We have to in order for new things to come into our lives.

      Life is a constant change and if we hold on, we are really pushing all our energy against it.

      Sure glad to hear of your experience!

      -Donna

  9. Debbie

    October 24, 2013 at 3:54 am

    Hi Donna. I like what you have to say. Letting go is hard, but I really like the idea of taking the picture of material things you don’t want to turn lose off. Fantastic idea.

    I don’t have a hard time letting go of things, but still think even with that the picture idea is cool! In fact as I was switching my closet for the colder weather, I did get rid of a lot of clothes I haven’t worn in a year.

    I say, If you don’t use it than lose it. It is just taking up space.

    Thanks for the picture idea.
    Debbie

    • Donna Merrill

      October 25, 2013 at 9:04 pm

      Hi Debbie,

      When it comes to clothes there is a two year rule: If you haven’t worn a garment in 2 years…time to give it away.

      I just went through the same thing – i.e. changing my closet for winter clothes. I have a giant garbage bag full of really nice clothing, and some with tags on ((blush)) that I’m upcycling to various places.

      My suits go to the homeless shelter so women that are trying to find jobs can dress appropriate. The rest goes to small organizations that are trying to help others in the community.

      I used to give to the Salvation Army, but they raised their prices. I know they are a good organization, but I run all over town, trying to find places where my clothing can be given out for free.

      It is such a great sense of freedom when we let go of our clothes…

      -Donna

  10. Liz McGee

    October 23, 2013 at 8:49 pm

    Hey Donna, nice to see you over at Harleena’s blog!

    Love this post. It’s such an important one, isnt’ it?

    I totally know what you mean by ‘letting go’. I’ve had a lot of things I’ve had to learn to let go of in my life and it can be hard!

    Sometimes it takes changing our perception of things and maybe look at the cause of the problem or strife as a way of God’s ‘Working’ within us. There are miracles in tragedy and hardships, and looking back we can often see the good that came out of.

    Also do things and focus on things that you can control. If it’s the things you can’t control that might be holding you back it’s helpful to focus on what you can control instead.

    Enjoyed this 🙂

    Blessings,
    Liz

    • Donna Merrill

      October 24, 2013 at 3:39 am

      Hi Liz.

      Ahhh…you got me when you said there are miracles in tragedies. I’ve seen so many myself. When we let go we do change our perceptions and do get stronger.

      Yes, we can only focus on things that we can control…reminds me of the “Serenity Prayer!” Which by the way is so helpful when trying to let go of anything!

      Blessings,
      Donna






Letting Go: How It Helps You

by Donna Merrill time to read: 5 min