How to Overcome a Midlife Crisis in Your Early 30s

- | 2 Aha! comments | Posted in category: Self Improvement

Man holding his head wanting to overcome midlife crisis

A crisis is never good but you can face it in any period of life. However, it’s the midlife crisis that is generally common and catches you unprepared. It’s a period of confusion and uncertainty. Here’s all that you need to know about how to overcome a midlife crisis in your early 30s. ~ Ed.

Overcoming a midlife crisis in your early 30s could be challenging and likely to be an eye-opener that you would expect the least. Why is that so?

Do you feel like you are stuck in your 9-5 day job which you are not passionate about?

Is your romantic relationship not stepping up to your expectations? Or are you still having a hard time finding the right one?

Do your student loan and other finances take a heavy toll on you?

Are your friends’ success cause you deep anxiety?

Society’s notion that the best time of a person’s life is between the 20s and early 30s might not be true for everyone. Young adults have more stress later after their first few years of employment.

But no one wants to talk about it. Because they feel ashamed. They feel restless.

People resort to good-looking posts on social media to cover up the embarrassment and let it appear that they’ve got it all.

Yet, they all feel lost.

The problem is society’s standard of our way of living. Society has made an age marker where at certain stages of your life, there should be a definite development.

While some people manage to achieve that, not all, or should I say most – I included – find it impossible to even start on the marker.

Midlife Crisis Defined

Although the stereotype of a midlife crisis happens between the 40s and 50s, it can also happen between 20s and 30s – generally known as the “quarter-life crisis”.

It is a period of deep soul-searching with overflowing questions about yourself and the decisions you have made, are making, and will be making.

It’s a period of your life where you come to crossroads and you’re unsure of which lane to consider. Agonizingly, it is a feeling of being trapped in a moment of uncertainty.

It’s a phase of your life where the times of dissatisfaction and frustration in your career, finances, and relationships lead you to compare yourself with others.

Going through a midlife crisis especially in your early 30s can lead you to an immense adjustment that will impact your life. So, how do you overcome a midlife crisis?

Importantly, you need to obtain an honest assessment of where you are, where you are going, and where you want to be.

But how do you know you are living an early midlife crisis? Let’s find out if you are among these.

7 Signs of Midlife Crisis in Your Early 30s

This phase of life is marred with feelings of confusion, jealousy, panic, uncertainty, and much more.

You feel jealous of someone else’s success

The main cause of jealousy is witnessing your friends or acquaintances, the same age as yours, with a good job they are passionate about.

You may also be jealous of the fact that they are having a great husband or wife with kids already in grade school, and having the luxury of traveling the world while you are not even a step closer to what they achieve.

You feel like the ticking clock is behind you all the time

The human life span decreases over the years. We rarely hear people who die at the age of over 100.

That’s the reason why we decide our future in a rush, decisions that are not well-thought-of, not taking the other possibilities that life has to offer. And not even considering what we exactly want to do.

If you’re settled, great! You have kids, great!

But if you are someone who doesn’t even have a prospective partner, the angst is overwhelming. A midlife crisis it is.

You’re asking yourself a lot of questions concerning your future

“Is this it?” “Is this the life I dreamt of?” “Why I am here?” “What will I do to change this moment?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Am I in the right job?”

You are asking all types of questions based on what you see on others. Stop comparing.

You always think about regrets

Past decisions made and done are already in the past. You regret resigning, moving out from your parents’, living a life in a different country – don’t dwell on these matters.

Focus on the decisions that you will make now and will be making tomorrow.

You make rash decisions but no actions

There are a lot of things you want to do in your head. You have quite a few decisions you think will make your life enjoyable and contented.

BUT…

These ideas are only in your head. You are stuck daydreaming of what you might have been or what you will be in the next few years.

Why don’t you try baby steps now? Slowly moving forward is still an accomplishment.

You’re not sure about your directions and purpose

Do you find it hard to get out of bed every morning and doing the same chores every day? I get it. You’re losing your sense of purpose.

Do you think your plan isn’t working anymore no matter how you try to push it through?

Do you feel like this is a cycle you live by every day? Isn’t it boring?

You’re successful but unsatisfied

It’s hard to determine what success is for each individual. I’ve got a friend who runs a successful business in the food industry. I envy her sometimes. She is her own boss. Her business is doing well. She has an amazing boyfriend. She recently completed her two-floor house.

But she isn’t satisfied. There is something missing. She knows how to run a business but that isn’t what she wants to be doing for the rest of her life.

Her passion was set aside for financial stability and security.

6 Tips to Overcome a Midlife Crisis

Do not let life’s pressure buckle you down. Here are some helpful tips to overcome a midlife crisis in your early 30s and navigate your way out.

Reset or Reassess your Personal Goals

Each of us has their own definition of success. Some can compromise on relationships but fight their way to their career. Some compromise on a promising career over a family relationship. That is their idea of success.

How about you? What is your definition of success?

I’ll give you three points to help you reassess your goals and overcome a midlife crisis:

 – Figure out your core values

What do you want most in your life? Are you willing to commit a big portion of your life to stand for your value?

 – Figure out your strengths

Don’t depend on how you view yourself and your strengths. You may want to try asking your friends and family what your strengths are. Likelier than not, you will be able to see a different perspective of you that you might have not fully recognized it yourself.

 – Figure out your passions

Sounds easy? Nah! I know what I’m passionate about but it is still a struggle for me to find a way out of this. How will I do it? How will I relate to my current job? Does it still excite me after a couple of years?

Helpful tip: Do not let others’ concepts of success and happiness influence you. Take your time to reassess what is most important to you – what do you want to do and where do you want to be. Start now.

Acknowledge Your Midlife Crisis

Accepting where you are right now is the first step to overcome a midlife crisis. You acknowledge how and where you are even if this is not where you want to be YET.

Think of it as a normal transition in life. Like how a caterpillar turns into a beautiful colorful butterfly.

The difficulties you are encountering right now is your bridge to a greener pasture.

Helpful Tip: Don’t let rejection scare you. Be open-minded, honest, and willing to change.

Confide with Someone Else

Speak to a trusted friend or a family or might as well seek a therapist. It is a safe place to brainstorm their thoughts along with yours to give you more options and perspectives to reconsider.

Helpful tip: Find someone with whom you can be completely open and honest.

Exercise and Eat Healthy Foods

It doesn’t matter if you don’t have that gym membership card. What’s important is you move your body. Walk around the neighborhood. Cycle in a nearby park. Hit the mountains. Head to the pool or river.

Change your weekly menu. Don’t stick to what is already comfortable. Explore. Your taste buds and body will thank you later.

Helpful Tip: Pick an exercise that you love. Start a routine. Stick to it. Practice.

Avoid Comparing Yourself to Others

Life is not a race. You live at your own pace. Technology warps our reality into things that we should not be focusing on. The likes, shares, and followers are not a measurement of success or the so-called “perfect” life.

Remember that Oprah Winfrey had struggled more than you could imagine in her earlier life. She was raped before her adolescence, became pregnant during her teenage years, and became a millionaire during her 30s.

J.K. Rowling’s first book series of Harry Potter was rejected 12 times before it was accepted. Then she completed the series during her early 40s.

You too can achieve that success you are weaving right now at your own time. Avoid worrying about what others are doing and achieving.

Helpful tip: Determine your strengths. Focus on your accomplishments. Learn from your mistakes. Compare yourself to the previous you and make a difference.

Don’t Limit Yourself to Other Possibilities

Sure, you do well know that you have other interests than what you are passionate about so deeply with. Give these interests a fair share of attention. Explore them in your free time.

You might love cooking, for example, and have a bunch of cookbooks handed to you from your mom’s nth generation. You might want to make a food blog for that and share your recipes.

Who knows? This could be an additional gig for you adding up your monthly salary. You never know where your interests lead you.

Helpful tip: Don’t be afraid to try and look at other perspectives which interest you. But don’t make decisions out of fear. Calculate the risks.

Final Thoughts

To experience and to overcome a midlife crisis is tough that we don’t even want to think about it. For some, it might be a chance to move mountains. A few would view it as a reflection of “What’s” and “If’s” of their life.

If you haven’t achieved your goal yet, it doesn’t mean that you are a failure. It might not be the path you should have taken. So go ahead and try exploring the other roads.

However, take note that the decisions you make today can define you for the next four or five decades of your life. Although, take it easy.

Level things up one step at a time. Because the more lost you are and feeling stressed, the more you end up mixing and deciding things the other way around.

I’m sure you don’t want to regret it later. Do you?

And always remember, the measurement of success is not about awesome achievements nor great relationships, it is about your happiness and the fun that comes along with it.

Over to you

You are not alone in overcoming a midlife crisis. There are people out there who are experiencing the same thing as what you are right now.

Don’t be afraid to voice out how you feel. I would love to hear in the comment box below how you overcome a midlife crisis in your early 30s.

For sure, I and the other readers might get a tip and get inspired.



Show Comments

2 Comments - Read and share thoughts

  1. Syed Ismail shah

    2020-06-12 at 2:56 am

    Hi, I’m Syed Ismail shah here. The techniques and ways you suggested to overcome midlife crisis are really practical. Before reading your post, I used to think that I’m the only person facing such crisis in the world alone! Aha! Now, I’m some how satisfied that I’m not alone. And I have got idea to overcome such problems in life ahead. Thanks

    • Laarni

      2020-06-18 at 1:01 pm

      Hi Syed,
      Yes, you are not alone. We are not alone. There are a lot of people out there who feels the same way as we do. They might feel embarrassed when they start communicating about it. This is a common problem in our society but since it is not printed often, we thought that we are the only ones experiencing it.
      I’m glad that the tips helped you in a way.
      Keep the positive thoughts and be safe.




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How to Overcome a Midlife Crisis in Your Early 30s

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