Should You Change Your Life
Table of Contents
Have you ever thought to change your life? Don’t know if you ever did, but sometimes circumstances are such that you change your life, whether you want it or not, like it or not.
Some changes just happen, and you have no control over them. But if given a choice, would you change your life voluntarily?
We have to accept the involuntary changes in life in order to adjust to life and move forward. But then, why can’t we also just accept ourselves as we are? Why is there such a fuss about changing or not changing one’s life?
Some people just do not want to change their life. Their strong arguments are like: “It’s my life, why can’t I live the way I like? Why should I care for others and change my life for them? What’s wrong with me and why should I try to better my life?”
It is not wrong to not change one’s life. But having such a rigid view surely doesn’t help. One should be flexible enough to consider a change in life and not be disturbed about it.
Changing your life does not rob you of your free will and individuality, but rather not changing when required to does restrict your life from progressing.
There is always a resistance to change. But, do we really need to change our life? Will change do us any good? Do we change for ourselves or for others? What stops us from changing our life? These might be some of the questions that pop-up in your mind.
Let’s try and understand more on these very personal, sensitive, and important issues of life.
“You’re always you, and that don’t change, and you’re always changing, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” ~ Neil Gaiman
Why the Need to Change Your Life
To change means to transform, modify, or become different by losing the original nature. It could also mean to become more intense, correct, pure, perfect, or to improve.
Believe it or not, change is the essence of life. Biologists tell us that our body keeps changing every moment. Similarly, geologist report that the world is ever changing, astronomers observe that the whole universe is always changing, and psychologists study that we continuously change as a person with time.
Changing one’s life doesn’t imply to run after money, or material pursuits, or to change your likings and job; instead, it is the change of thinking, beliefs, perceptions, perspective, attitudes, behaviors, and ways of dealing.
Of course, in your pursuit to change your life, you should accept yourself as you are. In fact, that is the first step to bring change.
You’re unique. You are what you are, you cannot ignore this fact. But that does not mean that you’ll and you should always remain as what you are now.
It is not necessary and compulsory for people to change their lives. You change only when and if you feel like it is needed. You yourself are the best judge, but sometimes it is good if you pay heed to the advice others give you.
If you’re experiencing repeated failures in life, wish to solve problems of your life, or you desire more out of your life, then it is okay to think of changing your life.
Else, if you feel you are not able to achieve your purpose of life, complete the goals, and accomplish the dreams, then you may try to adopt different ways of living.
You need to change your life to grow, to better your life skills and increase the probability of leading a successful life – the life of your dreams.
Just as the flowing water never gets stagnant or bad, similarly, I believe a life that keeps changing brings happiness, freshness, and makes it more interesting.
“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” ~ Albert Einstein
I’m Content – Why Should I Change My Life
This is the most common question that might arise in your mind too – why change your life when you’re happy with it?
Agreed. If the aim of your life is to be happy and you are already happy, then there’s no need to change. But this argument doesn’t hold good always.
Actually, it depends on the individuals’ personal definition and views about the ideal state of happiness, what bring happiness or contentment, the nature of success, the aim or purpose of life, and life itself.
Every one of us would have differing personal views about being happy, as we come from different cultural and social backgrounds.
What brings happiness in life to one might not do so to the other. What may seem as contentment to me could be discontentment to someone else.
As we see, there’s no absolute happiness or a common concept of happiness for all to seek. If the meaning of happiness keeps changing, so do the reasons to change or not change our life.
I’m taking a wild and extreme example of the misunderstanding of the idea of being content. A terrorist feels happy by killing people believing that the act fulfills his purpose. He neither feels any remorse nor the need to change his life as he is content.
A mild example would be of a parent who says he or she is content but does not fulfill his or her obligations and liabilities to properly raise a child. Can you ignore such duties and responsibilities and still call yourself as content?
Just because you’re happy with or beget pleasure with just one aspect of life doesn’t make you content enough to not need to change your life?
Therefore, I feel the meaning and use of “being content” should be redefined. I think certain moral and ethical humanity-based standards should also be fulfilled along with the feeling of being happy, to the meaning of being content.
Furthermore, life involving wrongdoings, evil intentions, irresponsible habits, unlawful adventures, and undutiful obligations cannot be source of contentment. Such a life does not bring true happiness.
Only a person taking care of all these aspects could really be called as following humanity and be the contender to being happy and content.
So, if you’re happy with your life and are also a wonderful human being, then you may really call yourself as content and can forget about changing your life.
Spiritual seekers believe we all should work to achieve the true or absolute state of being happy – the inner happiness or bliss, and such accomplishment would mean the real contentment.
For them, change of life is more like revealing our true nature and becoming or realizing who we really are, instead of changing over to another belief and habit system.
“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
A Change in Life Helps You Evolve
Our perceptions of failures, acceptance of our shortcomings, and the need to change our life are based on our own beliefs. As we change them, we change our way of life, and inch towards success.
People have always made conscious efforts to change life since time memorable to get better, to improve, and to evolve as human beings.
Had our ancestors not tried to change their life, we wouldn’t be enjoying the modernity and quality of life we live today.
Speaking of myself, I know I cannot be perfect, but I do believe in making efforts to improve myself to the best of my potential and abilities.
I strongly think I should change my life, not only for myself, but even for my kids and family. This helps us all to be happy, evolve ourselves and humanity as a whole.
“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.” ~ Madonna
What is Changing Life Not About
The need to change your life does not mean that you are not living your life correctly or properly. It is about doing all that is possible within our limits to achieve our own highest standards of life.
Changing your life doesn’t mean that you cannot live the way you like. You need to change your life to make it better for you, make it more comfortable, and make it more rewarding.
You also don’t need to discard your individuality or force yourself to conform to others. You only need to change your life to grow as an individual and to blossom your personality.
Changing your life is all about you, not others.
“Life will always be to a large extent what we ourselves make it.” ~ Samuel Smiles
Why People Avoid Change in Life
Some like change and some do not. Change is not easy, and it requires great effort and a strong will.
Change is also preceded by fear – the feelings of uneasiness and uncertainty. Also, it is so difficult to let go of our habits and change them, or start all over again.
It is not easy to deviate from a set path or course, and tread a new path. It is not easy to move oneself from a fixed position or a state of inertia. It is disturbing to even think of moving out of one’s comfort zone.
For some people doing nothing is being most happy. They do not want to change their way of living and blame it on their genes to be lethargic and lazy by birth, or term it as their fate.
There are people who avoid taking responsibilities and fulfill obligations, and thus avoid change. They want to lead a life of least efforts – their version of a simple life.
Some have self-doubt and do not believe change can make a difference, while others are confused about choosing the path which can change their life.
Some people’s view of life is cemented in the dogmas and doctrines of their community and so reject changing their lives, even if it would matter a lot to their lives.
Many support their refusal to change life giving the argument that they do not want to feel the need to better their life. They take the issue of betterment or progress as an offence, and react negatively to change in life.
Do such people need to change their life? Yes and no.
It’s all about having a reason for living. People who do not have an authentic purpose or direction in life generally feel no need to change it.
Whereas, those who are passionate and determined to make their lives better, and strive for longer and higher states of happiness, go for a change in life.
Those who lack determination and motivation, find excuses for not changing their life, but the ones who internally wish to progress and evolve get motivated for every reason they find to change life.
“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” ~ Carol Burnett
So, should you change your life? Nobody can judge and come up with an answer for you. It is for you to decide, and I bet it is not going to be an easy decision. Eventually, only you know if you fulfill all criteria to be happy and content.
Just as the old saying goes that there’s a time for everything, similarly, a time comes in everyone’s life to change. Either you wait for the time to change, or change your life early to stay ahead of time.
For those who wish to change their lives here’s some information, which tells you to be prepared for the difficult journey. And some more food for thought before you really plunge into changing your life.
Over to you –
I hope this comprehensive description of many aspects of changing life can help you decide if you need to change your life.
I’d like to know your thoughts, ideas, and questions if any, to make us think deeper and help ourselves clear our understanding about the meaning of being happy, content, and find reasons to change life.
Do you think we should try to change our life? Did you ever change your life, if yes, then what was the need and the overall experience? If not, then why? Contribute your views to whether you should change your life or not.
Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Great article Harleena!
I always say that the only thing constant in life is change. This includes change in life, too. taking in that fact and accepting it and embracing is the really best way to life life. This is something that I had to learn the hard way myself a few years ago, and now I can say that my life has become so much better in every area.
Thank you so much for sharing this!
Glad you liked the post Makeba!
Absolutely! Change is what is always constant, and we just need to understand that fact and accept the change in our lives. Most of us know the fact that change is what we need in our lives, though we keep wondering if we can really bring it about or tend to fear it. Nice to know that things have changed for the better for you. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
I love to say that the only thing permanent in my life is change, Harleena. I guess it makes a good conversation starter. But seriously change has been a something I had to get used to early what with changing cities, houses, schools and friends….But you know that already. However, I have actively sought change in my career and also in my way of thinking. There are things deep within me that I still struggle to change – but I know I have started changing. More recently the big change was to see myself as a writer – a change of perspective, an acceptance of what I truly want to be.
As usual you’ve written an excellent, well-researched article with great links! Thank you, Harleena.
Glad you liked the post Corinne!
I’m awfully sorry as I missed replying to your comment. Essential for making a change is to change your way of thinking. I’m sure once you’re done with that, you’ll be able to make changes at will!
Somebody like yourself who has been living with change throughout life, I guess the latest change to become a writer will not be difficult. I’d like to put your quote in a different way – If you can change your perespective, you can change yourself.
Thanks for sharing your life experiences and thoughts. 🙂
Change is happening in different ways in our life. It is a constant change. Its a subconscious process. But when you want to change in a conscious way, we find it difficult to change. You have added some good explanation why we are afraid to change. But we need to be positive.
Glad you could relate to the post Ahsan!
You got it right – when the change sprouts from the subconscious, it really impacts our lives in a better and bigger way. Superficial change might not drastically change your life, but the process is gradual and change is change – it’s good in any form (except in a negative way!). Root the dear out of your mind, and acceptingly imbibe the positive change, your life will change sooner than you thought.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on the issue of change.
Harleena – Very nicely interpreted as usual.
I agree with Adrienne that Change is inevitable and it comes in varying forms in our life. For me, we were living in US for the past 6 years and were used to the loneliness and emptiness of life here. Having my parents over for 6 months had an amazing Change in our life. We noticed that our daughter is enjoying that change and we had someone to speak to whenever we had something to share.
There was so much conversations happening all the time and we have actually given up watching television when we return back from work!!!!! Parents are waiting to sit down and have some quality family time with everyone during dinner and we are just loving it.
Of course this is a welcome change, but I have to say there are others which we do not embrace so well, there is a lot of thought put into each one before we adopt it.
Nice read. Thanks.
Glad you liked the post, Praveen.
It’s nice to know that you’ve company of your parents there. I can relate to and imagine how good it is to have grandparents at home, and the life surely changes for the better.
My husband’s parents are living with us presently after my MIL had a bypass surgery, and I can observe the change in my children too as how eager they are to hear some or the other stories from them.
Since we keep engrossed in our work and jobs, we need all the more change in our lives, at least for the sake of children. Having a quality family time does do good to children; it can change their lives and make them more social and successful human beings.
There’s nothing wrong in first validating the change before adopting it, if you have a choice, and I guess that should be the way.
Thanks for stopping by and here’s wishing you’ve more of quality family time.
Like you mentioned, Harleena, Change and happiness are very much subjective. But, as far whether there is change or not, there is always change in our lives. Only those might be small changes, if we don’t take action and strive forward to make the bigger changes (true, the small changes can also have big impact upon our lives).
As far as changing our life, I think most of us do need to (I mean, how many people in this life are happy to the full extent? Not many). Change also comes in when we want to achieve a certain goal or a dream that comes in our mind. Change is needed for achieving both “failures” and successes.
I have always tried changing my life, and still do everyday, but as I mentioned earlier, many of them are small changes. But, I have made fairly big changes. One recent example would be taking a personal challenge to decrease the time I spend on blogging (I did it last week and saved a lot of time; I was able to do the same work within 1-2 hours instead of 4-5 hours a day). And now, I am using the extra hours to get even more things done (like more blog commenting) – so, there comes change.
Well, that change is also the reason why I am able to come here and comment 😉
Glad you adopted some change and came to my blog, Jeevan.
You can’t change the change; that remains a constant. Every change has a meaning and purpose, big or small. I totally agree with all that you wrote about change.
As regards change, even the most happy people may require it and we do not come to know, because there’s no guarantee if one will always stay happy, unless the person made successful spiritual pursuits.
It’s good to know of your conscious efforts to change for the better, and I’m sure you are reaping the positive results by now. Change has been multi-productive for you, and now you get blog commenting pleasures and others as a bonus!
Keep working with change and be consistent. And keep commenting on my blog! 😉
Thanks for stopping by, and for sharing your personal change story.
No problem, Harleena 😀
(I don’t know what took me so long to get here…but, I am finally here 😀 And, oh yes I will be coming back constantly :D).
Of course, there isn’t any guarantee that change won’t happen in someone’s life (and that change may cause the person to change from the happiest man to the most sadistic one). Sometimes, things happen for a reason. Other times, we just don’t know why.
Oh, yes I am positive about gaining positive results and I am actually gaining positive results 😉
Sorry, I somehow missed this comment reply Jeevan!
I’d say change is like Google’s “algorithm”, you never know what’s going to happen next, but you’ve to be prepared for the worst or the best. 🙂
You’re right – change comes with no guarantees. I believe things always happen for a reason, it’s just that we sometimes cannot decipher the underlying reason.
If you’ve such a positive attitude, nothing can stop you from being successful! Thank you for sharing your views. 🙂
Change is my middle name. Since I was 10 years old I’ve constantly striven to tweak, modify, alter myself, my life, my style, and my personality. Even my furniture in my home was constantly moved around.
I truly believe that even if something is not broken, change can be good because complacency is a dangerous place to be in and change helps mix things up a bit.
Unfortunately many people get stuck in safe mode for fear of what MIGHT happen if they change.
Glad you could resonate with the post Annie!
Seems like you’ve really personalized change and lived through it all your life. I bet it would’ve been an exciting as well as a challenging journey.
As mentioned in the post, the reasons to be complacent would be different for everybody, but getting stuck in that state due to fear of the unknown or avoidance of making efforts is bad. “Safe mode” is an apt term and people in such a state need courage and motivation.
Thanks for stopping by. Nice to have you over. 🙂
Hi Harleena, Great article!
You’re right, so many people resist change because they don’t want to confront the unknown. Change is just tough but can be exciting too. A new future could be awaiting you if you take the first step.
Adrienne’s right, change happens whether you want it or not, so why not embrace it and try to steer the ship of your destiny?
The Gandhi quote is my favorite. If you’re going to change, why not work so you change for the better?
Thanks for sharing your enriching thoughts with us, Harleena!
Glad you like my thoughts and the article Carolyn!
Fear of the unknown cannot be more detrimental to a person if he or she rejects change. Have you read “Who moved my cheese” by Dr. Spencer Johnson? You got to change if you want to survive, grow, evolve, and be happy.
It is very important to get rid of the mental block against positive change. It’s your state of mind that actually shapes your future – if you make up your mind, you can.
Ah…yes that quotes is my favorite too. 🙂
Thanks for your contribution and strenghtening the concept of change.:)
Nice post Harleena,
To me change is good. Without change we are not going to grow as a person. The more changes we have to go through, the stronger it is going to make us.
For me I have gone through the change of divorce. With this change it taught me about myself and some of the choices I’ve made and why I made them.
I have gone through changes when it comes to employment. The last one got me out of my box and doing something that I love and believe in it. It was, should I say, a change that I didn’t realize I needed until I had no choice.
Change is opportunites waiting to happen, we just have to see them in a positive way and look forward to them.
Change is something to embrace. As a young person you get your education, become an adult, most look forward to marriage, which brings change, add children and you have another change, and than the children grown and move out and you have another change.
Life is something you have to see the positve in every day to be happy and or content. Every day is a new day and changes are going to happen, so my advice to anyone is if you don’t like change, stop and think about the little changes and you are most likely handling change better that you thought possible.
Thank you Harleena for sharing with your writings.
Glad you liked the post Debbie!
You’ve had a rich expeirence with change in your life, and I can assess that from what you wrote here in the comment.:)
One has to like positive change, and believe in it that it could be good for us. You’ve given a beautiful message – “Change is opportunities waiting to happen.” We need to have such an optimistic approach towards change and see it as a reason to grow, be strong, and evolve.
I’m a strong believer that events unfold for a particular reason and meaning. I too happened to begin my career as a freelance writer and blogger, and now I feel nothing could’ve been better. I’m more happy than I was at my previous employment.
Change drives you through the streets and alleys of life, it’s sudden and surprising at times, but if we cooperate with change in helping us, we reach beautiful destinations in life that we couldn’t even conceive of.
That’s a beautiful examples of change. We do not realize we’re living with it all through the time – in fact, it’s a part of us. Life is all about changing and evolving, isn’t it?
Thanks for stopping by and providing these wonderful insights into life and change.:)
I never get bored of change. The more things I change, the more I feel like I want to change more things.
Your post is amazing Harleena.
Thank you : )
I’m glad I could amaze you with my post Farouk!
You’re right – change can never be boring. But hey, do not become so obsessive with change that you turn into a changomaniac! Just kiddin’.. change is so addictive, isn’t it?
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
I believe a person has to want change for themselves to make it work. Often the one thing people truly fail at is believing in themselves. It’s very hard for a person to make any changes if they fail to believe they are okay and will succeed in any positive changes they try to make. I have often heard in my life (and find some truth in it) a person needs to be happy. The easiest way to start being happy is to determine you are going to be happy.
Glad you could relate to the post Aaron!
Absolutely! Change is not possible unless and until the person accepts its need, and has a deep driving desire from the within of his core.
As you point out, the first step is to believe in yourself – not only believing that they can do it, that is bring the change, but even believe the inner voice that prompts you to change, to break all the barriers, and to remove all the obstacles.
Your happiness mantra does make sense – “determine you’re going to be happy.” Once you start implementing that, nothing can deter you. Change, then is inevitable.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your wonderful views.:)
I think change is inevitable Harleena, whether we want to or not.
It’s like when you work at a company and if you don’t stay up on the latest programs, services or technology then you’ll be left behind and easily go out of business.
I will admit that I’ve never really liked change and it was something I did my dead level best to never particiapte in but sometimes you just have no choice. To me it’s just a learning experience and can only make you a better person.
Like your Albert Einstein quote, our thinking is what gets us to where we want to be and without changing or growing will remain stagnant and eventually just left behind. Whether we decide to change or not our world will continue to do so. That means that people are always learning new ways to do things and most of the time this is very beneficial to us. So why not continue to learn and grow as our lives go on.
I think for me in the past it was the unknown. Not knowing what would happen or what would come of it if I moved in a different direction or changed the way I did something. I was always just uncomfortable with it but now I’ve learned to embrace it. I never thought I would be here but see, that’s just the way life changes.
Thanks for this wonderful post Harleena and I think if people didn’t think about it before they certainly are now.
Glad you could resonate with the post Adrienne!
You’ve provided a good example of how important and inevitable change is, and that coming from a person who detested change makes it more meaningful. We all have the free-will and the option to accept change or not. But if you make a positive choice, it sure helps evolve you as a better person, if not literally then at least as a person who benefits from the new learning and expeirence.
It’s all in the mind, isn’t it? One thought can change your world, change of attitude can change your life, and a changed lifestyle will change you as a person. Stagnancy never gets you anywhere, as you rightly put it, and moreover, it deprives you of the happiness that you acquire by changing yourself – you learn new things, you progress, and you grow.
I agree, one of the major obstacle to change is the fear of the unknown. It’s again just a state of mind, which you can change if you will. You’ve achieved to change your life by controlling and orienting your mind with understanding, something which you never thought you’d be able to do – which is what matters most.
Thanks for stopping by and and inspiring us to change our lives.:)
I have been missing your blog! Life and business have been very busy lately and I have not been very active in my blog commenting, so I’m taking some time now to get caught up on much of what I have missed and your place was the first on my list!
I love this message about changing one’s life! I think that so many people get stuck in problem-mode where it seems like change is impossible. The truth is that we have infinite chances to change our lives if we take ahold of this moment right NOW!
For me it makes total sense because life is adapting and changing every minute. Nothing is static in this world, not us, not our surroundings. We can let the energy that changes things do a healing inside of us so that we are supported in our life changes.
I have absolutely changed myself over time. Some changes I wasn’t as aware of til I noticed how I have grown in comparison to how I may have been years ago. Other changes I have made on purpose, for my own benefit, for my health and overall wholeness. I think that when we recognize change for what it is, we may be our own catalyst for positive change that will allow us to enjoy life more!
Thanks for a bright message that inspires thought and hope!
Welcome back Cat and thanks for prioritizing it!
I can well understand how busy life can get, which is the case with me too, and at those times it does get tough to handle everything altogether. Nevertheless, I’m glad you managed to take out time and reminded me to do the same as well.:)
Glad the post inspires you, and I hope it makes people realize how important change is for their lives. You’re right that change is possible, but people are not able to beleive that as they remain stuck in their problems or comfort zones. And that’s a good way of putting it that we’ve “infinite chances to change our lives” – so very true, as every moment has the potential to change your life.
Another good message that I see in your comment is the use of “change therapy”, if I may’ve the liberty to coin that term, by accepting change and letting it heal you – do not resist, just flow with the change and be energized.
It good to know how you’ve made use of change to derive multiple benefits. And you feel great by doing so, don’t you? Yes, some change is gradual and happens without our conscious involvement – rather may be its the subconscious that fuels the change.
Health & Wellness is another arena which greatly responses to change, and brings amazing results. People have changed their looks, got rid of psychological problems, and overpowered their addictions by adopting change. I couldn’t agree with this more: “Positive change allows us to enjoy life more”.
Thanks for stopping by. It’s nice to have you over. 🙂
Aww, thanks for that, Harleena! It means a lot to me. 🙂
I love the new phrase “change therapy” – very good way to sum it up. You know what I have found? That sometimes, by simply MOVING myself, I can realize new ways of thinking and being.
I think there is a little gem in that for those who truly want to inspire change. Sometimes you have to just walk across the invisible line barrier of your “comfort zone.” That can be different things for different people, sure…for me, sometimes it’s just a matter of putting on my comfy shoes and jogging somewhere new, or walking my dog in a place we haven’t tried before. It can be surrounding yourself by a new circle of influence. We can get very creative about how we do this.
And that feeds right into what you were saying about health & wellness too, so you can get a lot out of just one little different set of activity. It’s amazing what new worlds can open up for us when we allow ourselves to do these things.
That’s another positive suggestion of how to prepare yourself to embrace change. People who find change difficult or feel hesitant to go for it can test themselves to slightly move out of the comfort zone, and keep practicing that. Gradually, you get accoustomed or conditioned to move out of your comfort zone. In a way you desensitize your mind or fool you mind, or lure it into going for change without cribbing – just a crude way of putting it.
These are surely some innovative ways to practice breaking your barries in any aspect of your life – walking and jogging to new areas, meet new people, or spontaneously doing something very new or different that you never tried before. However, you need to be careful not cross limits or fall for wrong things.
Everybody can be creative in trying to break barriers, and that makes changing your life both fun and exciting. Thanks for contributing more ideas to open up new worlds through change. 🙂
One of the slogans we contemplated during my Shambhala meditation training last year was “Everything is impermanent.” Change happens, in us and around us. We can seek it, allow it, fight it, make peace with it, cause it, resent it, be grateful for it.
I have actively created change in my life, and other times I have resisted it (unsuccessfully). Understanding the nature of change, as you have so nicely explained here, will help us learn to love it.
Glad you could resonate with the post Galen!
Yes, I agree that change is constant. The world would cease to exist if it were not to change. Thanks for sharing your meditation training information. May be I do not understand it well, but I believe a few philosophies of the world might differ from the statement “Everthing is impermanent,” as some do believe that there’s only one thing that has a nature of permanence, and that is the soul or spirit.
But we need not go to such depths, as what we’re concerned about is bringing happiness into our lives, and for that we have to understand that change is essential – isn’t it?
Thanks for stopping by. Always nice to have you over. 🙂
I agree that beneath the world we perceive is a basic goodness, an energy that we are all part of through our soul/spirit, that is permanent. Some would call it God. I think the phrase “everything is impermanent” refers to the world we perceive, including what our senses perceive, our thoughts, and emotions. Thanks for adding that clarification.
That settles it – given the context, I think you were very right in using the phrase “everything is impermanent,” and I’d add that only “change is permanent.”
Everything around us will either change or disappear, but change will forever remain in force. It’s wise and better to make friends or embrace that which will exists to guide us throughout our life.
Thank you for the insight – this makes change lovable more than ever 🙂
Firstly, Happy Friendship Day to you! 🙂
Onto the topic of your post. Ah, the area of change is one my favourites. As you know, due to my background, I’m a strong believer and supporter of change. Indeed, my need to change arose through years of trauma caused through stuttering. It was like I had suffered in silence for so long, the only way out was by changing. And this is something I’ve been doing for the last 10 years, particularly through changing thoughts, emotions and beliefs.
What I’ve learnt is that if the desire to change is so strong, one can go on to create a life, like they never would have imagined.
Your post made me reflect on a point, which is that one does not need to change if they are already content and happy. As you quite rightly said, it’s important that the contentment has arisen out of morally appropriate ways.
A good sign I always use to decide whether to change, is to use your inner feelings as a guide. If something doesn’t seem right with one’s world, then this can be a good sign that it’s time to change.
Happy Friendship Day to you as well Hiten!
You seem to have made change a part of your life, and have given some good examples of your experiences with change. You changed your silent suffering into a sure-fire way to happiness, and made a choice not to suffer by keeping the courage and strength to change your conditioned life to a conscious life.
Your change mantra has been to change the thoughts, emotions and beliefs – that is really the way to go if you wish change to happen. A strong desire to change that you mention comes from the power within, and I truly believe when you say it can change your world.
The interpretation of being content will always be different, but yes we need to have some common universally accepted guidelines that honor humanity and the laws of nature. A person who does that has all the right not to change if the life he or she is leading fills up the happiness appetite. Having said that, there’s no doubt that spiritual contentment is the highest form of being content.
Trust your instincts, I’d say following all wise people, in determining what you need to do for change and when you need to go for it. Never become so obsessive with yourself that you fear losing by changing it.
Thanks for stopping by and for your invaluable contribution to the post. 🙂
Splendid article, Harleena. 🙂
Change is inevitable. Nothing on earth remains the same. There are somethings that have mastered allowing change to take place, but for many of us humans, it’s a constant fight when we insist on keeping things as they’ve always been. I used to be one of those that fought relentlessly against change. Familiarity and normality were my prison and cell, and my comfort zone was the warden that ran the tight ship over my life. I know that I wouldn’t have considered changing my life hadn’t the events that happened took place. By adopting an open minded approach, becoming curious instead of settling for not knowing, and going through questioning my beliefs, values, standards, behaviors, and practices; I discovered that I was in serious need of a change.
Many times, fear does hold us back from seeking a better life. Deep down, we know our life would be better if we did things differently than before. What often towers over our better judgment, shadowing all the possibilities that would come from the change, is usually the concern we carry of what other’s will say or think about us changing. The last thing a person should do in changing their life, is to consider what someone else will think. Furthermore, if we’re considering other people about a change that will only affect us as individuals, that’s a pretty good reason right there as to why the change should be made.
I have found peace with and in change. I am a lot more certain that change is good. It may not feel good, but if we can manage to allow ourselves to experience displeasure from time to time, we will thank ourselves the moment the displeasure wears off. And I can honestly say, that it does eventually wear off. 🙂
Wow, Deone – this is a fantabulous comment Deone!
You’ve spelled it all so beautifully – it’s an excellent summarized guide to someone who’s wanting to know about changing one’s life.
That’s an awesome example of a prison, and you revealed one important pitfall to be careful about in the process to change – the thought of what other’s will say or think about the change in our life. Isn’t it ironical that we want to live our life, but on terms and conditions of someone else? We need to picture the progress after change and compare it with our own present life. We grow with respect to ourselves and it doesn’t matter what others think or say if we know we’re on the path to progress.
Your’s is truly an inspiring story of how you changed from an anti-change to a pro-change person. And I loved the way you described how to break the prison and thought barriers of our mind, to break free and adopt change that will liberate us from all sufferings and bring happiness. You’re the dark knight of change! 🙂
One more important message in your epilogue is that we should be watchful of events that will transform our lives. Be open-minded, be curious, be a scrutineer – regularly scan yourself to assess the need for change.
We need to shift our attention from the fears to the fabulous results after change, think positive and believe in ourselves. The bitter journey ends up giving sweet rewards, and who knows it better than you.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your words of wisdom.:)
You say there is always resistance to change, but I would challenge this and even infer you’d disagree with yourself sometimes. Sometimes change is not even noticed.
Jodi, you’re absolutely right!
May be I shouldn’t have used the word “always.” Actually it depends from person to person and also on the circunstances. It is generally seen that there’s a natural resistance or hesitancy to change, but one cannot universalize this observation.
Of course, at times its good to disagree with yourself – we’re always learning, and we sometimes fail to interpret ourselves clearly. Yes, some changes happen involuntarily, and they happen so smoothly that we hardly notice them.
Thanks for stopping by and providing your input. 🙂
I read somewhere that one day you get up and then you realize that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. Though there are some aspects of my life I am happy with, there are some things that I will like to change.
I am trying and yes, it is not always that they are wrong, but sometimes you want to see them change, or you want to see some change in your life.
I don’t know what I should be adding to this post, there is so much that have been already said and yes, you handed and covered it very beautifully!
Thanks for the compliment, Hajra!
I did put in all my heart and mind into the post to make it meaningful, but I’d commend my blog readers who’ve polished it up well and added more value to it.
Amandah did mention she got tired of being ‘sick and tired’, and she took a positive step leveraging the circumstance to grow herself. That “one day” you’re talking about comes in everybody’s life, and you do not know “when.” But if you become aware, there’s the probablity that you’ll find the opportunity to open the door to happiness of change sooner than destined.
You’re both aware and conciously making the effort to change – you’ll get the appropriate results.
Thanks for stopping by and wishing you all the best to have the change you desire in your life. 🙂
There is not always the need to change, but sometimes circumstances make you change. Other than fighting it one might try to embrace it as a new chance in life.
In every change there’s a opportunity hidden somewhere and one might not see it at the moment, one will later. One of my favorite quotes is ‘everything happens for a reason’. Sometimes one might just want to know the reason why…
Welcome to the blog Jan!
You’ve spilled one of the secrets of living life. “In every change there’s an opportunity hidden somewhere” – so very true. There’s no count of how many opportunities we get to better our life – if only we could decipher them. And it could only be done if we beleive in the philosophy that “everything happens for a reason.”
Embracing change makes life so easy, and the wise go a step further and discover the need for change before life tells them in its mysterious ways. But not everybody understands this in time, and only a few make such efforts, which makes us realise that – “there’s a time for everything,” it’ll happen sooner or later, though sooner the better.
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂
Excellent idea for a post, Harleena! As usual, I enjoyed the quotes first, because I love them! 🙂
I live by this quote: “Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” ~ Carol Burnett
I revel in change – and believe that this attitude has helped me grow and expand in life. I think it is a great idea to do an annual review, just like an audit to ensure we’re focused on what we want to do/achieve.
Loved your post. And a very very happy Friendship Day to you!
Glad you love this post and the quotes Vidya!
You chose the most important quote that signifies that the change begins from within.
It’s absolutely a great idea to have an periodic assessment of our thinking and behavioural mechanism to check if we’re traveling on the right path. And if one has an attitude of loving change like you do, no doubt one would be successful in harnessing happiness in life.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing these ideas and philosophy’s of life. Happy Friendship Day to you as well and thank you for being my friend. 🙂
Great topic and amazing post. Changing our life can make the difference between finding joy and becoming a “professional sufferer.” When things are not working anymore is the time to take a look and see what needs to be changed.
When I discovered my daughter was using drugs, I realized we all needed a change. Not just her, but all of us. I was in denial and I’m sure enabling. Communication could have been better all around. So that for sure was the time to change. It helped me achieve some inner peace, stop worrying and living in the past. When we work through the anxiety and stress that change can cause, we can find we have a whole new life.
Thanks for an interesting post and have a wonderful rest of your day!
Glad you liked the post Cathy!
How apt is the new word that you coined – “professional sufferer”, one who would keep on suffering but not change. As you imply, change brings joy. Initially it might be a bit discomforting, but eventually, you’re better off.
I’ve often seen people who wouldn’t even accept that things are not working, even if they aren’t working for real – they are in the denial mode, so they do not think that any change is needed. It is important to break this impasse.
That’s a very strong message – if there’s a problem with a member in the family, then a change in all members could bring soultions. That is a time for introspection and analysis, and as you put it – a time for change. We realize what communication means in a family when things go awry like this, and I’m glad you could work through the problem.
You’re also right in oberving that we tend to cling to our past and keep worrying. If we change this behavior, we open up the channels to inner peace. Change brings a whole new life – you’ve experienced that, and I hope other readers too get motivated by your life experience.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with everyone. 🙂
Very interesting and deep theme, Harleena,
I love the extreme examples that you took to explain that being content doesn’t meant that there is no need for change. When I read that it made me think of a few people I know who were or are content with themselves, but who really needed to change their behavior and manner of thinking. So I totally agree with this.
Whether we like it or not, life will change. Nothing ever stays the same, so we might as well embrace change, or else.
There are a few things that I want to change or be changed in my life, and unlike Ilka, I do not have a family, so that makes me free to move whatever direction I may want to go. I do have a kitty though, who rules my life, and I do or don’t do certain things because of my love for her 🙂
Glad you liked the post Sylviane!
That example is truly an extreme one, but such people do exist in different corners of the world. Actually it’s too difficult to know if a person is really content, or for that matter, even if we ourselves are content or not. It’s a subjective matter but as you pointed out, if other people too can make out or are affected, then it can be judged objectively too. Since we know killing people is not good, we conclude that terrorists have a false sense of being content – they’re blinded and they do not know that. Our self-judgement, perception, and assessment could be shrouded by misunderstandings, misconceptions, and wrong conditioning.
Embracing change is a smart and logical thing to do, if its for the better. The change starts from acceptance. Changing your life for improvement is like living many lives in a single life, have you ever thought from this perpective?
I wish that you be successful in changing what you want to change. I read somewhere that if you cannot change something, it is better to change yourself, just like the water in a stream changes its course if it meets a boulder on its path.
It’s so nice to know that you care so much for your kitty – if it can’t change, you change your ways for it.
Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful Sunday with your kitty 🙂
How do you write such long wonderful posts Harleena? 😉 Well, you love writing and helping others, don’t you?
“Change is the most scariest thing for me.” ~ I’ve said to myself until last year since I was a kid. I don’t remember much years, but as I know I didn’t wanna change myself in my kiddie days. I thought all the good things I hear from my parents and teachers enough for me. Still, I’m happy there. No doubt about that. I’m secretly happy that I’m a good boy 🙂
Well, I’ve come to understand that I’m being happy about what I have. I know that’s a good quality and seriously it comes from my parents and culture. But I was stuck in it. I feared to improve myself for good. I thought that’s enough and I’m happy. Exactly what you were talking dear 🙂 Being in comfort zone while comforting myself. For the record, change is something hard for me who always hears good from others 😉 With it, I tend to think I’m alright as others get blamed for the bad things they do. However, fortunately, blames are what made them change. But good things I hear always try to stuck me same place by preventing the thought that I need to improve more.
After coming to blogging and as I got involved in my higher studies, I’ve seen a change in me. I know I was a good listener, but I did start to talk more. (Is it annoying? I can’t help with my comments being so long ;)). I befriended with people who came to me and talk. Thought I’m lucky to have ’em. Yes, lucky indeed. But then I learned to find friends myself too. Still I’m lucky 🙂 I was thinking about others more than myself, in a way. In a prompt, I go fix their problems (Computer related), but I’ve failed many exams due to that ’cause I had no time to study myself. But I’ve enjoyed the feedback of them. Now I’m thinking about myself while thinking about others. No conflicts and both parties benefit from it. Else I wouldn’t ‘ve graduated last week. That’s my life example. So, improving.
Now I love changes and it doesn’t mean now that I can change everything in few minutes. Still, I’m stuck at some things but I’m improving on it without giving up my qualities I had. That’s a BIG win for me. We can’t change some things in our life. It just happens and we have to adopt with it. But believe me, if we trust on something, we can change anything that may seem impossible. That’s how I stay awake overnight and sleep in day time 😀 LOL…
Glad you shared about the change dear 🙂 It can change many minds for good. Anyway I don’t think that anyone can stay without a change, but it’s really great if it’s for good. That’s the SPiRiT of life…
Glad you could resonate with the post Mayura!
Thanks for liking my long posts and I hope it helps you. Writing is my first love, and my husband too is jealous of the fact 😉
I do try that my posts help somebody somewhere in someway or the other. This is my bit of doing good – the funny thing is that I do not get to know who benefits from the posts, not all who benefit comment or contact me, but I still have to keep doing my bit. And I need to clarify again – I do not write long posts, my posts just become long. 🙂
My kids too don’t want to change. Well, they say they won’t, but eventually they do with time and they do not even come to know of it. There’s this great resistivity to change in the teenage years. That is why the formative years are the best to mould children.
You mentioned something interesting – too much of appreciation could also dampen the drive to growth, as you become addictive to appreciation, may be, and eventually you hesitate on trying something new and taking risks. In the arena of self-improvement, I think it is difficult to be content as you can keep on learning and improving. Being stuck in a comfort zone makes it hard to change, and you’ve experienced that.
The best drive is the one which kindles from deep within, and it makes the change easy. You seem to have lighted that fire and nothing can stop you now from making efforts to improve yourself and beget more happiness. Being content is not a wrong state of mind, but it hampers growth when you errornouosly believe that you’re content. Sylviane has mentioned her real life experience regards this fact. If you feared improving and felt stuck, then you were never content in the first place but circumstances forced your mind to believe it is content.
I love long comments, and I find them very valuable. I enjoy the exchange of thoughts and ideas – I prefer blogging to its basics, so feel yourself at home here and never worry about not maintaining brevity. Regarding change, the first step is always difficult, and once you take an initiative, you’re on to the roller coaster ride with all its ups and downs, and all you got to do is to keep changing and enjoy doing so.
I’m glad you concentrated on your graduation, as you cannot ignore this important aspect of life. Remember, a balanced life brings more happiness. Be natural and gradual, keep flowing and changing – and you did one thing good, which is to keep the your good qualities intact. Changing does not mean trashing everything, including your goodness.
And yes, it’s all about self belief; the more you believe in yourself, the easier the world and change gets for you. Keep on this spirit of life, Mayura!
Thanks for stopping by and I wish you all the best for wonderful changes in your life. 🙂
As you mention we are constantly changing already if we want to or not. (Sometimes I think the aging process should stop at 30, but that’s another topic, lol.)
I know I have changed tremendously since getting married and moving overseas. I am not the same person I was when I left Germany. And I am still improving my life through constantly learning new things.
Do I want to change my life? Yes! But there’s only so much I can do. I can’t really live my “own” life, I have a family to consider. I can’t just pack up and do whatever I want. But I can make the best of my life within the circumstances. And I am. I am working on making the rest of my life the best of my life and leaving a legacy for my kids.
Glad you could relate to the post Ilka!
You’ve given me another topic to think upon – when I was 30, I read everywhere that’s the age a woman is at her prime. And now a decade later, I hear that life starts at 40!
Everything does keep changing, but what really matters most is whether our perspective and thinking too change for the better with time. You sure are experiencing growth in life, and you’re balancing it well with your responsibility of a family to look after.
In fact, you’re changing your life, aren’t you? You do not really have to pack up and go, as it’s all in the mind. We basically change our life with our thoughts, don’t we? If you’re happy and content with your present, and have a penchant for learning new things and improving, you’re right on!
I also sometimes wish to fulfill my desires and live life by my own ways – but when circumstances do not allow that to happen, I think it is wise only to accept the life that unfolds before us and enjoy it, which you too are doing.
There’s so much to learn from you, Ilka – thanks so much for stopping by sharing your ways of life 🙂
I like the extreme ideas you used to demonstrate how ‘being content’ could be far from the moral and spiritual intention of the word.
Basically, I’m content with the person I am. But I’ve been working on my listening skills and want to be someone people feel comfortable talking to. I pray for wisdom that I could be a better parent, a better wife and a better friend. I want to serve with whatever I do and carry around an aura that fulfils people.
I’ve also been working on leaving a positive impact on anyone and any place I touch. I’m working on this so I’m always aware of this mantra I’ve made for myself – God willing.
I’m not content with my professional life. I have a way to go, but I know it’ll happen. I’m not content with my health because it’s not so great at the moment.
Thanks for an inspiring post, Leena.
Glad you could resonate with the post Anne!
I’m glad you find the post inspiring. I really thought I had gone a bit overboard, but if it helps then there are no regrets.
The word ‘content’ is really used ambiguously by people to suit their own ways and purpose. I specifically don’t like it when people use that as a shield to save themselves from making efforts. I’m happy you did not mind me using extreme examples. 🙂
You’re truly aware of the areas where you feel content. The best part is that you’re sincere in making efforts to bring contentment in the lacking areas, which is what matters most. Your intentions reveal that you’re a beautiful person, and I’m sure your inner qualities will reflect in your interactions and expressions.
As for me, I’m not content with the way I manage my life – the work and home. Else what matters is my family, and I’m content to have a supporting one. I was content with my blog posts until recently I was told that they’re pretty boring 😉 But I’ll take heart from your spirit and try to be a better blogger!
Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. 🙂
Great post! I love change!
I started “really” changing my life several years ago when I was diagnosed with skin cancer. I was more cautious of my skin and the sun as well as my friends and family. Two years ago, I made another change and become less selfish and rescued a needy pit bull. He’s changed my life and showed me that I can accomplish things I set my mind to as well as, I really do have a soft spot in my heart with unconditional love.
Then last year, I finally stepped away from my previous faith and dedicated my life to pursuing a path of faith that makes me happy. I’ve never been happier in my life and am more at peace with myself and others. So yes, change can be a fabulous thing, as long as it’s positive. I know so many people that are afraid of change and are simply just walking a mediocre life. They want to change but just are afraid.
Glad you liked the post Brenda!
It is so heartening to see the spirit to change and the courage to be happy in you. Events sometimes act as facilitators and catalysts to better life in store of your destiny. You’ve realized and used your inner power, and I feel happy that you’ve found the most precious jewel in life – peace.
You made the choice and efforts to change your life and gain abundance of true happiness, that is what matters most. You’re right that people are really afraid to change, but they should ask you what it feels like when you drop your fears and follow your heart.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your life and its wonderful lessons with all of us. 🙂
I find your blog very interesting and the content is extremely useful for the women folk. But if you can take it with a pinch of feedback, I would also like to say that your posts are very lengthy and cumbersome to read, and I usually get lost in the mid-way, lose patience and find it redundant. It’s not reallly a problem with the length for I am used to reading lonnnng novels, but it is the repetition of one aspect of a sub-topic again and again, that makes me feel that way.
Brevity is very important, because you also have to see that once the point you are trying to make is grasped by your reader, he would want to move forward rather than reading more and more about the same point.
If you could introduce brevity, I think your blog will get a 10 on 10. 🙂 Nevertheless, great work.. keep writing and striving to make a change in the society…
Welcome to the blog Punam!
I am glad you like my blog and find it useful.
And thank you for your valuable feedback, I really look forward to them. Yes, I admit that my posts are very lengthy, as I tend to write comprehensively about the topic. While doing so, I might repeat a thing or two, which I shall try to minimize in the future – that’s really sweet of you to bring it to my notice.
I think my blog readers love my long posts, and you’ll also see that some of the comments and my replies are very long too. That’s the way at aha-now, and I’m sure you’ll adjust to the things here with time. I would also like to say that I do not intentionally try to write long posts – it’s just that I get so involved that I can’t help putting in all that I can. My only motive is that the posts should be of help to my readers and that they provide something to take back home.
I hope you will continue to visit even if you do not find brevity, as frankly that would be too difficult for me to introduce. But I take your suggestions with a good heart.
Thanks for stopping by and for the appreciation – I love the positives 🙂
Another great post!
I’ve been changing my life since 2007 when I discovered I was tired of being ‘sick and tired.’ My teammate at IWU introduced me to “The Secret” and Joel Osteen. Since that time, I’ve moved out-of-state (only to move back to my home state), attending many spiritual meetings, read a ton of self-help books and recently saw Joel Osteen in Cleveland, Ohio.
It wasn’t until I moved to Arizona for what I call my ‘life’s rehab’ that I discovered our families have cyclical patterns, thoughts, beliefs and patterns. I also realized and forgot that my parents were once children and did the best they could. Furthermore, I realized I was now an adult and could think and believe what I want. I was no longer tied to my parents or other relatives’ way of thinking. On the flip side, I learned from Neale Donald Walsch that when you move, “you take yourself with you.” That was a tough lesson to learn.
If you’re tired of being a victim and blaming others for your ho-hum life then it’s up to you to change. No one can change you or your life. You have to be courageous and ‘bless your mess’ as Sonia Choquette would say. Find the strength to look in the mirror and know that you’re responsible for it all. Journal your feelings and thoughts and then find out how you can change your life for the better.
Glad you liked the post Amandah!
It’s good to hear about your life changing experiences. You’ve shown courage and strength to take the initiative to change your life. I’ve come to reckon that there’s a reason for everything that happens in our lives, and this often leads to a chain of events that we’re happy and grateful for.
I see it that way – you wouldn’t have been able to know Joel Osteen and got spiritually inclined if you hadn’t been sick and tired. You see, good things are always waiting to unfold, waiting for you to make the move.
It’s sometimes shocking to know that we bear beahvioural similarities with our family members, and we often feel we cannot do away with them. But I believe one can overhaul oneself and become a completely different person with great understanding and efforts.
I do not blame anybody for my life – it is the way it is because of the choices I made, and I realize I also have the power to change my life by making the right choices now and hold on to my strengths. On the other-hand, things were meant to be this way, and I love the challenges and tests of life, and try to give my best. It’s a wise saying from Sonia Choquette – bless your mess – its positive meaning can get you out of any negative times.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your personal experiences through this insights comment. 🙂
Very well-written and addresses a lot of issues we all face. This is a great line that you include in the article: “Changing your life is all about you, not others.” As a mother of 5, it is easy to focus on everyone but myself. My interruptions get interrupted! But realizing that we each have the power to change is an important reminder.
Welcome to the blog Lisa!
I’m glad you liked the post.:)
Anything about life is important, and change is a very crucial aspect of life. We don’t realize but change is possible in the here and now, in this very moment; it might not be instant, but once the seed is sown and you feed it regularly, you may not notice, however, the change will gradually make itself apparent.
I can imagine, being a mother of 2, how busy your life must be managing everything for everyone, except your own self. If you’re aware that you’ve the power to change, you can use it starting with little things and small jobs, and gradually make efforts to apply change to what you feel can be changed without affecting the working of your family.
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂