Have you ever thought why men and women can’t be friends? Or do you feel they can be friends.
Men and women can be friends, yet not become friends in the real sense. Isn’t this the biggest paradox in the relationship of men and women?
So, I best thought to write about this controversial topic today!
I wonder if you remember the good old movie When Harry Met Sally. In it, Billy Crystal tells Meg Ryan that a man can never be just friends with a woman because attraction gets in the way.
Who could have guessed how that question would become a much talked about topic for researchers.
Can Men and Women Be Friends – What Studies Show
A number of young men and women were asked to rate their attraction towards each other in a survey conducted by the University of Wisconsin.
It was discovered that men were more attracted to their female friends and were keen on dating them, than the other way around.
Simply put, if men were given a chance they would want to take more opportunities with their women friends.
However, besides these researches and surveys, many women still believe that men can carry on a pure and healthy friendship with women, free from any other kind of thought.
“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.” ~ Oscar Wilde
Why Men and Women Can’t Be Friends
There are two sides of the story. Let me try and explain the view point from what both men and women feel about being friends with each other.
Women generally feel that it’s impossible to have real friendship with men. This is because as the friendship develops, men will want something more than a plain platonic friendship.
They would want to elevate the relationship to a romantic level, or take it further sooner or later – in most of the cases.
Similarly, men feel that it’s impossible to be friends with women, especially when they find them attractive and spend time with them.
However, I feel that if both men and women want to be friends they can, but they need to have trust in each other.
For a woman, a friendship is more about having trust that anything else.
When she says she needs a hug, she simply just wants a hug. However, when a man says he wants a hug, he might have other motives in mind. (Sorry guys, this is just a general observation!)
Both, men and women have to learn to confront and control the existing feelings (sexual tensions and feelings) they have.
They need to talk out things on a straight level and learn to deal with it. But again, you can’t dictate your terms, nor can you be sure that they will agree to be friends without such thoughts and feelings.
I wonder if you’ve seen this recent video that went viral, which tells you more about why men and women can’t be friends. Look at what it has to say!
Why Men and Women Can’t be friends ~ YouTube Video
Did you notice something in the video? Funnily, in the beginning of the video all the women said that men and women could be friends, while the men said no.
Later, when the same women were probed further, they agreed that men and women can’t be friends, because they re-thought and felt that yes, their male friends could have feelings for them.
The men however, always said that they can’t be friends with women because most of them have hidden feelings for their friends.
“Men kick friendship around like a football but it doesn’t seem to break. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.” ~ Anne Morrow
Everything depends from person to person and how they take their relationship. It depends a lot if you are single and married, and that’s when a major difference comes up between men and women being friends.
You can be friends with the opposite sex. However, chances are that either one of you might want to take things a step further. And when that happens, be ready to lose a friend.
Sometimes, just as we see in the movies, misunderstanding takes place between men and women when they are friends.
This happens because for one of them the relationship transforms from being friends to a romantic one. Such one-sided change of thought in a men-women relationship often breaks up the friendship.
So, if you are willing to keep your safe distances, handle your feelings and remain in control, there’s no harm being friends. Just be honest with each other.
“Friendship without self-interest is one of the rare and beautiful things of life.” ~ James F. Byrnes
Hey! Let’s take a poll and see what you all feel about today’s post and question raised.
Did the poll result come your way or was it contrary to what you thought? Let me know your reaction in the comments.
A lot depends if you are ready to live up with your decision of making friends with the opposite sex.
Remember, you just need to be honest with each other, keep a safe distance, and not to cross the line.
Over to you –
Do you think men and women can be friends? Have you been friends with the opposite sex, if so, did you find being friends easy? Share your comments below.
Photo Credit: Freedigitalphotos
Posted on: October 23rd, 2012
Last Updated on: February 2nd, 2015