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Who doesn’t face family problems? Whether you’re a blogger, writer, marketer, businessperson, young or old, you can have family issues in your life.
Sometimes, these problems in the family can be overwhelming. They can disrupt your life and adversely affect your business or occupation.
So, what do you do in such cases? I’m sure you look for ways to deal with family problems. There could also be some people who find themselves helpless and just don’t know what to do.
Well, this month’s “Share Your Problems and Solutions” or SYPS post is all about family problems; knowing them, understanding them, and then sharing them with others to seek relief and solutions.
It’s an attempt to help you deal with your family problems. If you’re facing any kind of family issues and wish to find solutions, this is the place.
What are Family Problems
Family problems are basically differences in personalities, opinion, beliefs, and other personal matters that are triggered by incidents, events, and even misunderstandings.
These can occur between parents, siblings, relations, extended family, family friends, and other members related to your family.
I think a family without any problems is rare to find. But what matters is that the problems in the family are resolved before they flare up, isn’t it?
There can be arguments, heated discussions, fights, avoidance, and break down in communication among the family members in a family.
Read more about the family conflicts and the steps you should take to resolve them here.
Your family is important.
Undeniably, family is an important personal and social hub for any individual. Family is the most confidential and dependable resource that gives you support in your good and bad times.
Generally, your family is your best fallback option and your support net in any kind of eventuality.
However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t face problems with your family. But when that happens, you need to act fast and for sure to resolve them.
Else, pending family problems for long time estrange the family ties. In such cases, the family clan too divides into different groups to the extent that they become rivals or life long enemies.
Your family problems are unique to you.
They depend on so many factors that you know best. Let’s try to see a few of the family issues that exist as probably these can help you identify your problem.
“Peace and war begin at home. If we truly want peace in the world, let us begin by loving one another in our own families. If we want to spread joy, we need for every family to have joy.” ~ Mother Teresa
List of 30 Family Problems
There are a few problems in the family that I’ve seen people have, and some that even I’ve gone through in my life.
I know there’s a lot more to this list, so feel free to share your family issues in the comments below too.
1- You could be at loggerheads with your kin, brother or sister, or even with your parents over some petty or big issues.
2- You feel neglected and ignored by the other family members.
3- You are a single parent and have to deal with your children single-handed, and look after your kids or job. You might find my post on 9 ways to cope as a single parent useful at such a time.
4- You have parents who just nag and criticize, and you don’t feel they love and support you.
5- If you have parents who are overprotective or those who keep fighting with each other – all this affects the family and children too.
6- There might be family problems when a parent remarries. The children might or might not take on to the new parent.
7- You feel your family is delimiting your personal growth.
8- You’ve problems with your step-family life.
9- Your own family members don’t understand you and distances are created over misunderstandings.
10- Your family doesn’t make an effort to share things with each other or they create distances between relationships. You feel like a stranger in the family.
11- You feel there is lack of communication between your family members and you, or inadequate problem solving skills.
12- There might be in-law challenges, or perhaps you are living with your in-laws and don’t get along.
13- You have financial difficulties in the family, and this could lead to lack of resources, resentment, fights, and problems to deal with the daily expenses.
14- There are teen issues in your family and you might feel understanding a teenager isn’t easy. You might like to read a post on Is Parenting Troubled Teenagers A Difficult Task that I’d written earlier.
15- If you are living with grandparents, perhaps their interference is bothering your family oneness.
16- In some houses, grandparents are parenting grandchildren, especially where both parents are working. Sometimes it becomes too much for them, which their own children don’t realize.
17- You might have gone through sexual abuse within your family or extended family, or undergone an abusive relationship.
18- Your parents might be comparing you with your siblings or might be partial to one.
19- There could be family issues when there are big changes in the family, like the loss of a job, and a move to a different place. Or perhaps a mental or physical illness of a family member is an issue.
20- You might be a victim of domestic violence and want to share your story and find solutions with us.
21- To make ends meet, there might be unwanted separation due to your job. Sometimes if your partner doesn’t understand this could lead to family issues.
22- If you have family problems of addiction or perhaps alcoholic parents in the family, it can become very tough for the family members.
23- When there are problems between the couple, it might lead to divorce. In such cases, the whole family is affected. You might like to read a post on whether divorce is necessary or not.
24- Sometimes one of the parents is abused and suffers lack of self-esteem, and this can surely affect the entire family leading to problems within the family.
25- Lack of love and understanding between parents can lead one of them to have an affair outside their marriage. This can affect the family and perhaps even a breakup if things aren’t resolved.
26- Your parents argue, or you argue with your parents and there is disharmony and negativity in the house. There is unhappiness in such a house and you don’t feel like staying in such a house, do you?
27- Issues of adoption, in case a child is adopted and it doesn’t work with either of the parents or other family members.
28- Where both parents are working, the children are often ignored, neglected, or even stray and follow the wrong path if not checked. This could lead to major problems within the family.
29- Issues where children have lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender (LGBT) parents. This might occur through foster or surrogate parenting, adoption, or alternative insemination.
30 – There are family problems due to excessive social networking or any other problem in the family that is bothering you.
This list could be endless, isn’t it?
How to Solve Family Problems
There is no way right or wrong way that works in a family, nor are any two families alike. What works in one family, might or might not in another.
So, you shouldn’t try to copy someone’s family, nor think as to why you don’t have or have what someone else’s family has. This could also lead to family troubles.
Logically, you can take the following steps to resolve your family problems:
1) Acknowledge the problem
2) Accept the differences
3) Settle differences through communication
4) Improve yourself and forgive
5) Seek help by sharing your problems
Things may or may not work as per your plan. When emotions override your logical or reasoning ability, even the seemingly simple solutions appear like complicated knots.
You can go through more on how to deal with your family problems by viewing the sites here and here.
If nothing else works out, then you should take help from a professional family counselor.
Meanwhile, you can share your problems here and get family problems advice from those who’ve tackled the same kind of family problems.
“In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.” ~ Eva Burrows
Why share your problems
When you are faced with a problem in the family, you cannot ignore it because if you do, issues keep piling up. The small differences often accumulate and pile up to make a mountain out of mole heads.
Sometimes you are confused and unable to understand or decide what to do, or how to handle the situation. Family problems cause lot of stress if not resolved.
At such times, you can ask yourself – “Do I need help in understanding or resolving problems with my family? Do I’ve anyone to share my problems with?”
The best thing you can do is make efforts to share the problem with your family members. Make quality family time to spend with each other. Try talking to them, and if nothing works, share it with us here.
By sharing your problems you get to know different perspectives of the problem that helps you. Know that there are many others who’re undergoing similar problems or some have already passed this phase.
They’ve either made mistakes and can warn you about issues, or have taken steps and can now tell you so that you can help yourself.
Sometimes you need to share your problems in the family with others to find solutions. I’ve written all about it here – why sharing your issues helps you.
Where, what, and how to share your family problems
You ALL are welcome to share your family problems in the comments below – whether they are related to the ones I mentioned above, or any other you have.
It would be nice if you follow the following format so that it becomes easier for other readers to read and reply to your comments.
1) Define and write your family problem in the first line.
2) Describe and write the problem in detail in the next few lines.
3) Reply to comments in the same thread so that the commenter gets notified.
If you wish to be notified of the comments, you might want to subscribe to the comments.
You can also subscribe to all the comments to the post. This would help you to know the other family problems being shared.
You can also remain anonymous if you prefer that, and I’d respect your privacy.
“All happy families resemble one another; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” ~ Leo Tolstoy
Who can help you solve your family problems
I wouldn’t say that you’d find the perfect solution to your family issues, but we are all here to help you.
ALL the readers of the blog, the entire Aha!NOW blog community, experienced coaches, and other friends or readers of this blog. Because they all have families and might have gone through the problems you might be facing.
Before you proceed, do read this disclaimer.
I’d request you to stick to the topic of family problems this time. I’ll have other posts in the future for other related topics like marriage, friendship, parenting, and other aspects of life.
I hope you find your family problems solutions on this blog, and it brings happiness in your life. Remember, everything is possible if you are ready – this too shall pass 🙂
“Cherish your family, make time, have patience, and laugh often with them.” ~ B. B. Butler
If you wish to be notified of the next “Share Your Problem” post on Aha!NOW, which will cover another topic next month, subscribe to the blog below.
Over to you –
Do you face family issues that are tough to share with your family members or others? How do you resolve such family problems? Share with us in the comments, so that we can all help you.
Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos
I am 18 year old boy and i am having a doubt that my mom is having affair with my friend , she is always flirting with him in person and on call too . And day by day i can see them getting more frank to each other. ack
Family problem are always found to each person. life is always for problem. Without problem life is not possible. such a nice post.
Family problems are found almost at each and every point in one’s life. Family is something which is attached only through emotional threads and so it becomes very difficult to solve them out and ultimately leads to sheer negativity in our relationships. As far as I deal with them, sometimes even parents behave immaturely and do not understand what their kids really want to say and vice-versa. The world is growing and is advancing than why not our thoughts? Why to head back to our past living styles and keep on bombarding people’s mindset with the typical traditional behaviors?
I have seen some parents who keep on just covering their 25 year old girl or boy by their thinking.
Synchronization is a very important factor when you are dealing with a family.
Thanks for this great article.
Hi Charmie,
Yes indeed, we all face family problems in our lives, and perhaps that’s what makes it interesting too or else it would be a boring life. However, no one wants too many problems, isn’t it?
If not resolved, family problems can leave scars and even break relationships, so one’s to be very careful and resolve issues as soon as possible. I agree with you there, and one can’t blame the parent or the child alone – there needs to be deep understanding and love between both sides for things to really work. I guess parents in our time were a little traditional in their way of thinking and as kids we should respect their feelings, though I’m glad with the change in time, parents too are changing nowadays.
Yes, certain parents prefer keeping their kids in complete control or want to overpower and rule the lives of their kids, which is wrong. This way you can never let your child grow and develop into a responsible and independent adult.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us 🙂
Hello Harleena,
Wow.. what a list. I think there is not possible to make any list for any problem. its unlimited. But still you focused on main problems. every family has problem. Its part & parcel of a family.
But I think if we discuss the matter together in free mind then we can solve most of problem. Another thing we need to take lunch or supper together in a day. Its helps every family to increase bondage as well as help to discuss on any family issue.
Have a nice weekend & enjoy wit your beautiful family 🙂
Hi Ahsan,
Glad you liked the post and list of family problems that people face 🙂
I agree with you there, this list is endless, just like our never ending problems, but perhaps these one can relate to as they are the most common ones we might face.
Sharing your problems with others, halves it. And if you can find solutions for your problems too, nothing like it. It’s certainly better than suffering all alone, isn’t it?
Yes indeed, having family meals together should be made a compulsion, though with teen kids or working family members, it might not be possible. If not all, dinner time can certainly be the time to bond better.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. Have a nice week ahead 🙂
Hi Harleena!!!
As it is well said that content is the king ,so you are doing .Your article are so unique that i cant think about that.Most importantly, you have mentioned here how to crack these problems.
keep it up.
thanks
Hi Holly,
Glad you like my posts, and yes, I do try to make them different and unique from others you might find online as the purpose of this blog is to help others in whatever way possible.
Share your problems is a new additional feature – a platform where everyone is invited to share their related problems and seek solutions.
Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Great post Harleena!
I’m surprised by the number of divorces in my family. My parents were married, until my dad passed away in May 2004, so I never thought about divorce. I have many cousins who are divorced, some twice! My sister got divorced but that didn’t surprise me.
If adult children move back home with their parents for one reason or another, family issues may arise. For example, grandchildren may not be disciplined or don’t help out (when they’re teens). Parents of adult children often find themselves parenting, again. It can be tough, if you don’t set ground rules. Set a time limit for adult children to live at home. Also, write up a contract. This may seem harsh, but if you want your house and life back, you’ll practice “tough love.”
Hi Amandah,
Oh yes…those are forever on the rise all over I think 🙂
I guess nowadays people don’t have the patience to cope with each other at times of issues as compared to the earlier times, or perhaps there is lack of time and will on their part to make efforts to make things work. Divorce is the easiest option, and when our society accepts it so willingly, people don’t wait long to get one!
Parenting is certainly not easy, and when you live in a family with kids of various ages, or as you mentioned if there are grandparents around, there are bound to be family problems – again due to many reasons. Rules are needed in every house, and you need to make sure your kids and even adults follow them for living a peaceful and happy life.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us 🙂
Hi Harleena,
Great topic! Who doesn’t have family problems? Although the kids are grown, and some are married, I got a false sense of security. I thought that once they were “settled down” things would get easier – no!
Now it’s the problems they face in their marriage and don’t want to hear any advice. So I have to be quiet. It is so difficult.
Then the extended family….I do have one brother that is a drug user and his two kids have kids! What a mess. I had to keep a strong boundary with this one and do not let them visit us.
However, I do accept the fact that I need to protect myself from such negative energy. It is a difficult situation, but one that cannot be talked about, because it really gets me nowhere!
I think what you have set up here is wonderful. Sometimes we just need an “ear” …. and suggestions from others always help.
Thank you for doing this
-Donna
Hi Donna,
Exactly! Who doesn’t have family problems? And I think they occur all the time, whether our kids are small, or even after their marriage, just as you mentioned 🙂
I agree with you there, though I listen to my Dad’s 😉 I guess kids nowadays, once they grow up and get married, feel they know it all, and no matter what you tell them, unless they’ve tried and tested the waters, they’d never leave things or listen to us. I see a lot of that in my kids already, who are in their teens, and it often takes a counselling session from both of us to make them understand if the issue is serious, but they do most of the time, for which I am grateful.
Yes, sometimes in such cases, you need to draw the line and not allow some relatives to visit your house as it just might have a negative effect on your own family and kids. It’s tough, but in some cases you need to put your foot down.
Glad you liked this new platform to share your problems with the readers, because all of us go through problems, and if we have a listening ear and others who’ve been through similar situations to come and help us, it would surely help.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. Sorry for the late replies…though I’m glad I’m down to comment replying as much as I can. Have a nice week ahead 🙂
Hey Harleena,
Being much older now and of course all the “kids” in our family are grown doesn’t mean we are clear of issues. My Mom got a letter recently from one of my Dad’s cousins wanting to borrow money yet again although she’s never repaid anything that she’s borrowed so far. She recently lost her husband but has always been horrible with money so I helped Mom write her a letter letting her know this is it. She can’t raise her too.
The one thing I can say about this is people have to be open to talking about issues and admitting that they have problems. I have a few family members that never feel like what they do is wrong. Just bringing the issue up is an argument fixing to happen so we just never address it. Luckily for me it’s not in my immediate family or at least not now.
Great advice though Harleena and you’re always so thorough with the issues and how they can be resolved. Thank you for that too!
Enjoy your week and here’s to happy families.
~Adrienne
Hi Adrienne,
Absolutely! Family issues sometimes take years to be resolved once they occur. Age certainly has nothing to do with it.
I’ve some extended family members who are well into their 80s but their old issues are still not solved. Makes me really wonder why do they have family problems even at this age, and what really keeps them tied up to things so much that they can’t drop their egos and resolve it all.
Oh yes…you have so many issues that crop up due to money, which once borrowed is never returned. And sometimes even when you ask for it at the time of your need, you realize the other person isn’t going to pay – just makes you wonder how people can be, unless their financial status is pretty bad.
Yes – talking about the issues you have in hand always helps. Even the person on the other side is able to understand your situation and feelings much better. I wish more people would understand this simple fact and just learn to communicate openly with each other.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. Yes, we all need happy families around us. Have a nice week ahead and sorry for the late replies – busy playing catch-up with comments 🙂
Hi Harleena,
Well, I’ve never had a family of my own, since I’m divorced with no children, but I’ve always been very, very close to my mother, brother and my aunt (my mom’s sister) who was living with us since my father died when we were still so little.
However, there is something that has destroyed this close net, and it started when my mother was getting into stage 2 of Alzheimer disease. The “thing” is called religion. I haven’t (or should I say my bother hasn’t) spoken to me since late 2009, and he even prevents my aunt to speak to me as well. As for my mother, she can no longer speak at all.
As my good friend, Adrienne, told me recently, I’ve been through so much that it’s going to make me an excellent coach. I think she’s right. I think I can tell anyone, if I could do it, you can do it!
Thank you for sharing another fantastic topic, you’re so good at.
Hi Sylviane,
I’m glad you shared here on this post.
Yes, I too believe that Adrienne is right – you’ve gone through so much in life. I can understand how it feels when you don’t have a family to share – neither the one through your marriage, nor the one of your parents.
You’re in a difficult spot, yet you’ve courageously taken charge of your life and stood the ground, and that’s really commendable. Of course, after gaining such experiences, you’ve a lot to tell and guide people as a life coach.
It’s sad what your mother had to go through, and unfortunate that you’ve a brother but yet you can’t talk to him. I guess once this channel opens up, you’ll be able to share things with your aunt, and be with your mother. One solution can solve many problems in your life.
The base of religion is belief and traditions, and these are what divide people. It’s sad but these religious differences can even divide the families. Somebody needs to guide your brother that differences in your beliefs shouldn’t make the blood bond weaker.
In such situations, somebody needs to take the first step, and you very well know that. Even if you’re a life coach, you might need a professional help in your personal matter. I wish you’re able to resolve this issue and reopen the communication channels with your brother – may be just one call might start the process!
I want you to have the happiness of you family in your life. I hope it happens soon.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences as well – have a great day! 🙂
Excellent Post. Everyone is having some sort of problem in their life.
Someone having the stuff to face the problem, someone don’t have stuff and confident to face the problem in their life.
According to me, Whatever Happens Life to Goes on. Our life is like a small boat in an ocean. We are responsible to sail the boat and reach the shore. If we don’t have confident, we will surely sink.
Anyway thanks for sharing this awesome post.
Hi Nirmal,
Yes indeed, everyone faces family issues, but what matters most is that you know how to deal with those problems, isn’t it?
I liked the comparison you made with the boat, and our life is like that – it comes across the ups and downs in the ocean of life, but the final choice is always in our hand, in what direction we want to take the boat. Believe in yourself and make the effort that things will be well, and they will – provided you put in work for it too.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us 🙂
Every family has a problem. But when you see it as a problem.
In my schooling I used to think my parents love my brother more than me. So, I started moving towards my grand parents, thinking I’ll get some attention form them. Yes they love. But at one point when I was in need of them they left me.
Then I rolled my eyes to my uncle till he too left with same feeling in me.
No am not fool, I didn’t think that no one loves me.
At my teenage, I found that everyone has there problems and tasks to accomplish. So, no one will (CAN’T) be with you always. Start seeing what you’re giving them then every problem will be resolved.
P.S: Anyway this is my thinking. 🙂
Welcome to the blog Moin!
I agree with you there, though family issues do occur and that’s alright too I guess 🙂
I can well understand what you mean – sometimes that kind of a feeling occurs between siblings, or they start feeling that ways, even though the parents aren’t actually doing it intentionally. Kids move to wrong company and starting doing wrong things at times, or else take another direction and seek love elsewhere, which in your case was your grandparents and then uncle.
Perhaps the busyness of everyone’s life gives this feelings to teens. Yes, parents and teenagers, both need to take out time to talk and share their feelings with each other. Time is never there, it’s always has to be created I feel. If you make the first move, in-case your parents are busy, I’m sure they’d hear you out also and resolve issues, if any.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us 🙂
Hi Harleena,
Wow, in reading the list of family problems and the comments I truly appreciate the fact that life is going well now. I have had family problems in the past and know how very distressing that can be. Your family should be an oasis of peace and support. When it’s not, your foundation isn’t solid.
My most recent family problem was our daughter who did not adapt well to the local school. We are able to switch them to another school and now they are doing very well!
Thanks for doing this for your readers, Harleena. As you’ve said from the beginning, a problem shared is a problem halved!
Hi Carolyn,
I would say the same thing – so many things to be grateful for, isn’t it? I think when we compare ourselves to those who have family issues as mentioned in the list, we are so much better off.
Occasional family problems are alright, and we all have them off and on. They are more of arguments, disagreements, which we tend to resolve within the family when we discuss and talk them out.
I remember you mentioning about your daughter in an earlier post, and I’m glad all is well with them and they’re settled in their new school. It takes time adjusting to new surroundings, friends, teachers and everything else, especially for kids. But they are quick to adapt themselves, though during that phase they need our help and support. Knowing the wonderful Mom that you are, it must’ve been a smooth sail for her. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. Yes indeed, a problem shared is a problem halved 🙂
Nice Harleena.
I don’t believe there is anyone that doesn’t have some kind of family problems at some time. One thing that I have learned is when your kids are young and with you, teach them that they are all different. They all have different opinion about things in life and they have to learn to except there siblings differences.
I have also found that as we grow and mature, it can make a real difference on the people we decided to marry. Some want to except there new family and other take there spouse away from his or her family.
Another time families can have problems is when health problems arise with parents. As they get older, etc.
The best way to handle family problems is communication if possible. if not possible I have found just walk away and give the other person space. And then maybe the communication is going to be possible.
I had someone tell me years ago, you will always love your sibling, but you may not like them. I have found this to be true, because people do change after they have been with a spouse for many years. And sometimes the change is not for the good. Then you just except them for who they are.
Your doing lots of good Harleena, keep up the good work.
Hugs,
Debbie
Hi Debbie,
Absolutely! I think we all have them and that’s perfectly alright, isn’t it? 🙂
I agree with you there – teaching our kids about such things helps them in their life ahead, when they have their own families. However, sometimes even if parents have taught their kids to the best of their abilities, issues come up. But I guess we should do what’s the best possible thing in our hand and try to let our kids know about things.
You are right about that – family problems can arise when even parents fall ill and perhaps one or the other spouse isn’t too willing to take care or participate as they should in such cases. Oh yes…that’s a good additional point about people marrying later in life and how sometimes issue can come up when they have to accept their spouses family – some take it well, while others just don’t. It can cause a lot of bitterness in such cases.
Communication is the best way to resolve issues I feel. Giving space is good, provided it’s only temporary, and you come back after some time to resolve the issues at hand, or they never are resolved, isn’t it?
I liked those words of wisdom and yes, our siblings change when they get married, and even with age, but the love for each other never dies – the core feelings remain, isn’t it? The small differences if they come up can easily be resolved because you know who they really are at the base level.
Thanks so much for your words of appreciation, though this is a combined effort to help those in need. I appreciate your wonderful contribution to this post, Debbie – all the additional points you shared with us. Have a nice week ahead 🙂
How come I didn’t see this post earlier Harleena? Didn’t you share it to your list?
BTW, While I can’t generally say I don’t have a family problem, I can only say that I don’t have a problem to share. There are problems but those are being handled and I’m thanking to my God for the peace that rains 😉
The best way to settle some problems or even avoid them is communication. I know (from the 30 listed above) there are problems at different magnitude. In any case, problems within the family should be treated as early as possible. If allowed to prolong, it may end up breeding more problems 😉
Thanks for the family building blog post 😉
Hi Enstine,
I wonder too why that happened! I know that this post, just like all the others, went to all the subscribers and when I checked back, it went to your email too. Perhaps it went into the spam folder, do check it out and unspam it so it doesn’t happen again. Sometimes such issues happen 🙂
I can understand that, and it’s good to know that the little problems you might be facing your end are the ones you can easily resolve with love and understanding. It does take effort from both sides to resolve family problems, and I’m glad that things work well at the end of the day.
Yes indeed, the 30 problems in the family that I listed here are all very different that I read, learnt, experienced, and even have some people going through them in their lives, which I thought would be good to share so that people can relate to them. Communication IS the key I think, and any issue can be resolved in most of the cases, only if you take out the time and patience to sit and talk, isn’t it?
Oh yes…you let issues remain unresolved, and they keep piling up – and might turn disastrous one day. I don’t think it’s something you should ignore for long. Instead, put down your egos and solve it out. Nothing dies it’s natural death I feel, as some people feel it does – they remain till resolved.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂
Hi Harleena,
Interesting topic! 🙂
Everyone has problems with their families, then this could be an interesting discussion.
From the list above, I admit I had experienced some of these problems. However, I prefer for be patient. Well, you know, I will be stronger if I could deal with it. 🙂
Thanks for sharing this with us, Harleena.
Hoping you have a wonderful weekend.
Nanda
Hi Nanda,
Glad you liked the post 🙂
Yes indeed, everyone has family problems and the main aim of this post, as mentioned in all the SYPS posts is to help people to come up with their issues, if they have any unresolved ones, and we as a community can help them out. Besides, if you share your experiences and all that you’ve gone through too, it helps others, isn’t it?
Hope your issues are resolved soon too – wish you the best with them 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂
Hi Harleena,
I like your idea in helping others. That’s a great idea! Thank you for your kindness, Harleena.
Keep up the hard work and good luck for you! 🙂
Regards,
Nanda
Hi Nanda,
I think as bloggers if we can’t help others, in whatever way possible, we don’t serve our purpose, isn’t it? Yes, this was perhaps a different idea and I’m glad it’s taken up well.
Thanks once again 🙂
Thanks harleena for your suggestions.
i am really going to try this out.i hope it will work 🙂 because i love my parents very much and at the same time i love him too.
thank you:)
I know what you mean, and it surely will help you, just as even Balroop suggested in her comment to you.
Wishing you all the best, and thanks for sharing your family problems with us as well 🙂
I always try to talk to my family when I have issues with them, or anyone really. I think it’s important to communicate because often the issue arises from an unclarified expectation or a misunderstanding that could easily be fixed by getting on the same page.
Unfortunately, some members of my family prefer to ignore them and not discuss it. They rather let time go on and act as if it didn’t happen.
~Lea
Hi Lea,
That’s what is required – to talk, to resolve, to end any kind of family issues and nip it in the bud, and I’m glad you do just that 🙂
Misunderstandings, ego clashes, small arguments and such minor problems can often flare up to become major issues if not resolved in time. Yes, a few people think that if they ignore family issues, it’d get alright on it’s own or by giving it all some time, the issues would subside and end on their own, which doesn’t actually happen because the core of the problem, or the seed always remains if not resolved. And these smaller issues keep piling up and add up later in life, which just cases more bitterness. I wish more people would realize this and make timely amends, isn’t it?
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. 🙂
Yes, if more people did this their problems would blow up into something bigger. Unresolved issues always seem to reincarnate themselves into something else, then circle right back to the original problem.
Really nice speaking with someone who is on the same page as me with this. 🙂
I agree with you entirely Lea – the unresolved issues never really die their own death, unless they are resolved – they DO come back full circle sometime or the other.
Pleasure is all mine, Lea – and I appreciate you taking out time to help us with your wise words. Thanks once again 🙂
Problems are an integral part of life! we cannot ignore them! The best we can do is prepare ourselves to overcome those difficult times. As you said we should learn to share. But for this, there should be at least one member in the family with whom we can share our thoughts. Specially in India, adolescents face various problems in day to day life. But since they find it hard to share it with their parents, situation takes a graver turn!
Hi Tuhin,
You are absolutely right because they are. It’s best we learn to accept them, find ways to solve them and move on 🙂
Sharing your problems as they say, reduces it or lessens it to half. It surely lessens your burden, doesn’t it? Of course, you need family members around you to share your family problems with or else how does it work? But I guess if the issue in the family has arisen because of the family members, they’d surely be around.
Yes, the youngsters all over the world I feel need to be more open with their parents, though I’m glad in India the channels are still open as as compared to other countries where things can take a serious turn if issues aren’t resolved. Overall, what they need to do is try and find solutions to the problem at hand, and talking is the best way, or else sharing it on platforms that provide you a solution – like here 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us 🙂
Oooooh, this is a tough one. I hesitate to share much detail b/c it’s over internet but I have experienced some major problems. Since my divorce, my family has treated me differently. In a time of need, I couldn’t rely on them. I learned a tough lesson. I have been estranged from my father for over a year. However, we have begun therapy (separately at this point) in hopes of eventually working out some long engrained family issues. I’m not hopeful though as my father exhibits many of the qualities of my ex husband. They both have a personality disorder which makes it limited as to correction or healing. Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks, Harleena.
Hi Lisa,
I agree with you that not everyone feels comfortable in sharing personal problems online. That’s why I suggested an option to remain anonymous to those who prefer that.
Similar family problems could still have different causes in different cultural settings. I wonder if you had your family in confidence when you went through your divorce. If they treat you differently then could it be that they were not in agreement with your decision or have trouble understanding you. Absolutely, at such times, you look forward to your family for love and support, and I can understand how you’d feel.
It’s good to know that you’re both undergoing therapy and I’m sure that will help a lot. I guess both of you shocked each other with your decisions, which probably were against the expectation of each other. I can understand your point of view, but I fail to understand why your father would act or stand against you, which you’d know better.
You’re right, this seems to be an “engrained” family issue which will get okay with time, provided there is communication, understanding and acceptance of each other’s points of view. You may be experiencing problems with the male ego or stubbornness, that probably appears as if they’ve a personality disorder. Probably they can’t stand if you take a decision against their will, and never be able to forgive you for that because they fail to understand your point of view.
I’d like to ask if you made any efforts on your part to reconcile with your father by meeting in person and having a conversation? What do you feel are the obstacles in your relationship with your father and what you feel would make your father accept you and discard the differences?
You do not have to necessarily answer these questions here if you do not feel comfortable, but you can contemplate on them and see if you see the light at the end of the tunnel! I also hope that you’re able to rope in some other family members to help you in your communication efforts by mediating between you and your father.
Thanks for sharing your problem and trusting me and the blog community with it. I hope my reply and other community members do help you in someway. Have a great weekend! 🙂
Thank you, Harleena. You make some great points and pose good questions. I will ponder these. I do have a good relationship with my older brother so that helps quite a bit. As you can imagine though, the family leader has great influence over everyone.
You are most welcome Lisa – glad it helped a little 🙂
Yes, it certainly helps if the ties are good with a family member, at least you can share your thoughts and feelings in such cases. Lol…yes, I can see that, though I hope all will be well soon. Thanks once again 🙂
Hi Harleena,
Liked this post very much.Now a days fight is happening between me and my family on a daily basis.they are not even ready to have a talk with me.I love a boy who is south indian and i am a typical marwari (north indian) girl.my parents are totally against of this relationship,they clearly said no to me and told me they will commit suicide if i am continuing my relationship with him.i am just pissed off i don’t know how should i react in these situations…. even tomorrow also they are planning to go somewhere to see a boy for me…..:)
anyways thanks for a beautiful post… 🙂
Hi Priyanka,
Thanks for sharing your problem with us. This is a typical problem in the Indian society. The communities are conservative and very traditional, as a result they do not want to mix up with other communities. One of the main reasons is the drastic differences in traditions, beliefs, and way of living. Since you understand the background and know the mindset of your parents, you should use that to deal with your parents.
As a parent, I’d want my daughter to respect my feelings, and I’d also want her to have happiness in her life. I’d like to be convinced by my daughter in a decent and loving way. I could imagine the state of your parents, and I hope you used your logic and reason, along with your emotions to put across your point of view after letting them know of your decision.
One of the major factor in the members of Indian communities is that they fear of taking steps against the community norms. They also fear social rejection, shame, and implications on the other children of the family, if any.
However, in majority of cases in India, if the parents see and feel that their daughter will be happy and the boy is well off financially, they drop their objections. So, what you need to do is this – convince your parents that you’ll have a secure and stable future in all respects.
It’ll also help if you take help of any family member or relative on your side to mediate between you and your parents. Positive suggestions from other family members will make your parents reconsider their stand.
It’s very important to let your parents know that you value them and respect their feelings, and that you do the same for your boyfriend. Allay the fears of your parents, whatever they are, and have some patience yourself. It may take time, but you all may reach to some understanding if you keep being loving and keep communicating with your parents. When you think the time is ripe, ask your boyfriend to convince your parents of the same.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your family problems with us. Do let me know what you think and and if this would work in your family. 🙂
Hi Priyanka,
I can very well understand your state of mind, with parents on one side, emphasising on a guy of their choice…seen and heard many such dilemmas. I would suggest, give your relationship some more time and talk to your parents about it. Nobody commits suicide…those are just pressure tactics. Don’t get tricked into such filmy dialogues and don’t worry.
Whatever decision you take, take it with a calm and logical mind and most important, let it wait. Give yourself and this relationship some MORE TIME. Everything works out well if you let the circumstances unfold themselves. Don’t jump into anything in haste.
All the best!
Hi Balroop,
I agree with you there – give things more time because things eventually do settle down. I guess we see too many movies at times and tend to get easily influenced – those being the wrong side of such movies, whereas the reality is so different 🙂
Thanks so much Balroop for your continued support to help others – much appreciated 🙂
Yes, communication is definitely key as you express, and I would like to add to it “listening.” If family members talk, that is communicating. But is anybody listening???? I’m lucky to have a very close family. But it didn’t just fall in our lap that way. We all have very different personalities, opinions, and likes and dislikes. When sh*t happens, we let it simmer, then strive for resolution and compromise through open and honest communication and LISTENING.
Hi Sheryl,
Absolutely! Communication IS the key to resolving any kind of problems, whether in the family or otherwise too where relationships are concerned. Listening is vital because without it there’d really be no communication, just one sided talk or lecturing!
I agree with what you mentioned, people need to listen when someone talks, or it holds no meaning and family issues will never be resolved. I think when family problems come up, you need to sit and talk things over, and if people aren’t ready for talks, let things remain for a while and then try again when it’s cooled down a bit. After all everyone wants to resolve issues and they work when you work for it by talking, and of course, listening too.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. Happy weekend 🙂
Interesting topic Harleena.
You are right that many people do have family problems, in fact who doesn’t. All of us have some problems to more or less extent.S Solving is all about communication and letting go of egos. You will be surprised how one can solve issues just by talking and you will find that the other party is also willing to solve the problems if you reach out.
Hi Shalu,
I think all of us have family problems of some kind or the other, and sometimes a little is healthy too to keep things going 🙂
You are absolutely right when you talk about ego, and this one factor is the root cause of many family issues. Who starts the communication first? Who breaks the ice and tries to resolve issues? If you communicate, there is no question of not being able to resolve problems, provided you are ready to give in first and start it off, isn’t it? I wish more people would realize this fact and just be good with each other.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us. Happy weekend 🙂
You are right Harleena mam , Who doesn’t face family problem in their life. Everyone has these kind of problems and they have to face it alone this is not a mechanic kind of thing where any outer person will resolve it.
Nice article on How to face family problem.
Thank you for sharing
Hi DK,
Absolutely! I think if you have a family, a few of these family issues everyone must have gone through, and I think that’s very normal. I agree that the solution to these problems also lies in your hands, but sometimes the other person becomes very stubborn or there are ego problems so it gets tough to share your feelings with them. However, with time and patience, you can surely resolve issues, and perhaps get help from other family members too.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views 🙂
Wow Harleena, this topic came at the perfect time for me. Number one is the issue we’re having in our family.
My two youngest brothers recently got into an argument that turned physical and now they aren’t speaking to one another.
My youngest or the two is about to become a father for the first time and we are about to celebrate with a baby shower this weekend. Only, my brother told the other he was not welcome.
Two stubborn men who will not be the first to apologize. I would love to get any advice on this. It’s too big for me so I left it to God.
Thanks in advance.
Hi Corina,
Nice to know that this post came at the right time for you 🙂
Ah…arguments have no end, isn’t it? It’s very common to see siblings get into a fight or argument, though if issues are resolved before they turn bitter, it’s much better, or then sometimes they go to extreme where the damage is irreparable.
It must be very sad to see your brothers like this, especially with the baby shower coming up. Yes, who apologizes first – another ego hassle most people have and this is another cause for conflicts that never end! Sometimes you just can’t reason with stubborn people, isn’t it? Because they just won’t listen or feel they are right!
I wonder if being the elder one you tried to make them sit together and talk things out? Often times, the elder ones in the family can help by coming in-between to clear any misunderstanding. Perhaps you tried and felt it didn’t work, or you felt you shouldn’t interfere – again two extremes people tend to take.
But because you are also a part and love your brothers, and you are elder too – no harm making them sit and talk out issues. Communicating and clearing things up is the best way to resolve family problems. Sometimes siblings wait or want others to resolve their issues for them if they aren’t able to do it themselves. Family ties don’t end I’m sure, it’s just that the clouds need to be cleared, and I’m sure your talks would help patch them up again 🙂
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your problems with us – much appreciated. Hope others too can advice you on this one 🙂
Hi Corina,
I agree with Harleena…communication is the only key to resolve issues and especially when a family function is approaching, that is the right time to patch up. I think some member of the family whom they both respect should intervene, make them sit with him/her and explain that family ties don’t end like that…a day has to come to forget the differences and forgive. Even if they are not ready to forgive or apologise, they can just forget the past and look towards the future. Let them speak and empty their hearts out to start afresh.
I hope some valued member of the family will take the initiative to explain all this to them.
Hi Balroop,
Yes, I do believe too that talking is the best way to resolve family issues, provided family members don’t have their huge egos in the way 🙂
I loved your advice to Corina about emptying your hearts out and starting afresh – after all it’s family and we just don’t break ties with them over matters that can be resolved.
Thanks so much for sharing your advice with us and contributing to the post – much appreciated 🙂
Hi Harleena,
You have shared this post perfectly on time. It’s great how you have broken down the family problems into 30 lists.
Family problem didn’t matter to me till now, I had dealt with all problems myself but lately, I am seen my family members look into me with a different eye, given the fact that I am full-time into blogging now. I understand this might not be still a popular career in India but this is what I love and enjoy doing.
I do share my earnings with them but the fact that I am not into the conventional 9 to 5 job makes them somewhat bothered to face the community. This is what makes me angry and sometimes small quarrels do take place.
Have a nice evening and thank for sharing such a wonderful post!
Mainak.
Hi Mainak,
Glad you liked the post and could relate to these family problems listed here 🙂
I can well understand what you mean, being a blogger myself. It’s certainly not something most people take up to fondly, as compared to the person who goes out to work of works from a 9-5 job. People hardly know who a blogger is and you need to explain it all to them, leave alone thinking about making money from a blog, or any of the online jobs. It’s hard for them to believe and understand, but they do if explained well – this again is what I’ve tried and tested with my folks too. So, take your time and explain them things – I’m sure they’d understand.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your problems with us – I appreciate that a great deal. Have a nice weekend as well 🙂
You Mainak,
Doing what you love is the most important. I am glad you are sticking it out. These new things take time for people to understand. Try to look at it from their shoes and you will see how their responses are more about them than you. Be kind and understanding in your response. Soon they will not be as afraid as they are now.
Warmly,
Jodi
@Harleena, Yes, you’re right, people, especially of India, are not quite aware of blogging, so they take this career a bit differently. I’ll have to make then understand with a cool head, instead of breaking into a quarrel. Thank you so much for your support. 🙂
@Jodi, If I look it from their shoes, yes of course there is the social stigma they are facing. When my friends say in front of my family members that they are working in an MNC and my family members have to say that I’m just a blogger working online, that i when they feel the social stigma. But, as Harleena said, I have to overcome this fear and make the family first understand with a cool head.
Thanks to both of you for the inspiration. 🙂
Mainak.
Hi Mainak,
I can understand the issues that Indian parents have with their son working from home, which is considered no work at all as they have to face curious neighbors everyday and women of the house feel they don’t have any freedom, with a man at home all the time. Your convincing and explaining may not reach them and even if it does, neighbors issue can never be resolved. You have to accept some nagging and give this passion of yours some time. You know it very well that family members and their likes and dislikes have to be given due consideration. So I would suggest, along with talking to your family members with a calm mind, you have to think of another solution.
May be you can work from elsewhere, some small office, away from home? or if you have financial constraints, you could request a friend to give you some room for a few months till you find a place to work peacefully? working from home may keep on disturbing you as the family members will keep on bringing up those concerns time and again. So you have to find another way to work as a blogger.
All the best!
Hi Balroop,
That’s a wonderful point too – working away from home, something I often feel I need to do also 🙂
Perhaps people take us for granted or think sitting at home, how can we earn anything. You don’t have that kind of respect as you would had you been in a regular 9-5 full time job. At least it will take time for people at our end to start accepting that there IS a very active online world, and you can earn by working online as well! Even if it’s not the family problems that trouble you at home, just the fact you move away from the house gives you a feeling that you’re going for work, which others notice, and it certainly makes you feel better about yourself.
Thanks once again for another great addition, Balroop. I’m glad you gave this wise suggestion 🙂
Harleena,
A great post as always! Harleena, you truly said, working from home, sometimes do not get the kind of respect it should get. This used to be a concern for me a few years back as people in my own home do not understand what I am doing. But now, I am comfortable in my own skin and do not worry about explaining them about my job because I know they will stick to their own conclusions. I just make sure to take care of people who are most important in my life and my work which I thoroughly enjoy and from which I gain a lot.
Hi Vandana – nice to have you back 🙂
Yes indeed, those who work from home don’t get the due respect they deserve, or perhaps others offline don’t generally have an idea about all that goes on in the online world unless they are told about it in detail.
I used to have the same problems sometime back, but after explanation, they understand now, though doing the explaining part to the extended family and other relatives is always an uphill task that I don’t always get into nowadays.
I agree with you there – enjoy what you do and be proud of your achievements – that’s what really matters at the end of the day, isn’t it?
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. 🙂
Hello Balroop and Hi Mainik,
This is utter truth spoken as you know I too am from such a village where people know internet very scarcely and I don’t know if its humorous or not people here are using internet only at times when a result of tenth or college gets published. Now you could imagine what would be the situation of me saying my parents that I am into Blogging. Its worse when you haven’t earned your penny yet and hope your parents to support you. Iam not being anti parent here and I know that they do it for my good future but all time culprit here is the generation gap. I know you will be surprised but my solution for this is I am working at night till three locked in my room (net speed 8-10 kbps)and then waking up at 7am helping them at the shop till night 9 pm. I wish to reveal my secret to them only when I achieve something that can convince them of my secret inside the closed room.
Hi Swadhin,
Though your comment was addressed to Balroop and Mainik, but they might not have received the notification, so let me reply instead as best as I can 🙂
I can very well relate to what you’re saying because many people don’t have an idea about the Internet and use it just occasionally, as you mentioned. So for them, blogging or working online is a far cry. You’d have to explain things in great details to them so that they know what the online world really is, it certainly isn’t easy, but you can try.
Yes, it becomes tough to explain things to parents or other family members too, who either think that doctors, engineers, or other such careers only fetch you money. They aren’t entirely to be blamed – our society is such. However, I am glad that nowadays the trend is changing and more people are becoming aware of the Internet and all that it offers.
Making money online comes only with time and patience, and once you earn your first cheque and show it to your parents, they’d start believing you much more – don’t worry, that day will come – keep the faith 🙂
Working late into the morning shouldn’t affect your health and efficiency, so take care of that. I’m sure things will work well for you. Remember, it takes a lot of time to start earning through blogging, and in a way I’m glad you’ve also got your shop as a standby.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your family problems with us. Hope the little solutions helped in some way 🙂