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How To Deal With Teenage Problems

5 Common Teenage Problems That Every Parent Should Know

- | 92 Aha! comments | Posted in category: Family & Parenting

girl with teenage problems holding her head
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Are you sailing smoothly in your teenage years, or facing the usual teenage problems? If you are a parent, then is your teenager able to cope up with the problems in his or her life?

I understand that this phase of life can be quite turbulent and is indeed a testing time for any teenager, or for that matter, even for their parents.

Even if you aren’t a teen or the parent of a teen, you were a teen once, so you too can relate to this post, isn’t it?

Teenage problems have always been there though their nature and type have gone through changes over the years.

Presently, the teenage life is marred with issues like drug abuse, violence, relationship issues, behavior problems, lack of personal finance know-how, and many others.

As a teen, are you facing any of these?

As a parent, are you troubled by your teenager’s problems?

I really feel bad for the teens and all that they undergo. Aren’t such issues too much for a person, who has just begun to understand life?

I might be wrong in my assessment, as many teenagers these days become mature before time due to their living circumstances, conditions, and lifestyle.

Some of you teenagers might say that you know the best about what to do with your life.

However, your parents and peers may not agree with you.

They would like to know if you have really developed the wisdom and the ability to discern the right from the wrong.

Are you capable enough to identify the problems and select a course to avoid them?

Perhaps some of you are, but not all of you.

I know that many teenagers fall into trouble due to ignorance and have a hard time coming out of them due to lack of awareness.

That not only wastes the crucial years of their life but also breaks them internally and fills their mind with negativity.

Hence, the reason I am writing this post, especially being a Mom of teens. 🙂

I am listing some common teenage problems along with some advice for teenagers, hoping that it helps them develop greater understanding.

Nevertheless, I would really like the adults and parents of teenagers to chip in and provide their valuable advice to the teens who are going to read this.

“I am every emotion times ten, I conform yet I’m rebellious, always obeying but somehow still an outlaw, always talking but never heard, I am a teenager.” ~ Author Unknown

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What Stops Teenagers From Seeking Help

Before moving on, you should know that the main impasse is not about not knowing the problems and their solutions, but that of the teen’s attitude.

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Some teenagers just do not want to change. Some just hate to make efforts to learn and improve, because they are mostly defiant and stubborn, which are typical teenage characteristics.

However, I would say that these traits, if left unresolved in the teen years, might carry on in their adult life and hamper their personal growth.

Here are a few negative self-affirmations that some teens have, which stop them from seeking help:

“I don’t need any teenage advice or lecture.”
Honestly, tell me how many of you said this line in your minds while reading this post. 🙂

Let me tell you that it’s quite normal and okay to feel this way. Not everybody likes to be told what to do, and it’s difficult to accept mistakes and shortcomings.

But you need to drop your resistance and accept the teachings of the experienced and the learned for your own advantage and benefit.

There should be no shame, nor should you feel low and bad about it. In fact, learning from others is a sign that you’re smart.

Taking advice from those who have crossed the same path isn’t a bad idea at all. If you do that, it will be an indication that you are actually growing up.

“It is my life.”
Yes, of course, it is!

As a teenager, you want to live your life, enjoy it the way you want, create your own world of fantasy, and make your own rules.

That’s great! Then why should this bother anybody?

Well, it does if what you do eventually harms you or others, in some way or the other.

Parents, teachers and elders are often bothered about what the teens are doing because they are concerned.

It’s because of their accumulated experience over the years that they know what things might cause problems, and what kind of problems are really bad that should be avoided by the teens at any cost.

Though it is your life, the elders have the moral responsibility to make you aware of the right path and let you know if you deviate from it.

“I will learn from my own experience.”
Without a doubt, there is no better learning than self-learning. But it’s smart and wise to learn from the experience of others and save your time and effort – isn’t it?

It’s not that you as a teen should not be allowed to commit mistakes at all; of course, lessons learned by stumbling and rising up again help you a lot.

However, nobody wants the teens to stumble and fall into deeper problems from where there is no return or the recovery becomes tough.

I feel that while teens have the right to live their way, they should have the courtesy and patience to accept the suggestions of their parents and elders as they are often in good faith.

Nevertheless, parents should refrain from imposing their will and decisions on the teens.

They need to understand the teenagers and their frame of mind and offer suggestions after having a realistic idea of their teen’s life situation.

Here are some of the problems that teenagers face in their life. Given along with them are some suggestions, which I hope can help the teenagers overcome their problems.

“It is hard to convince a high-school student that he will encounter a lot of problems more difficult than those of algebra and geometry.” ~ Edgar W. Howe

Common Teenage Problems That You Should Know

Let me ask the teenagers directly – what do they feel about themselves, their life, and the problems that they face.

I am not talking about the mood swings that all teenagers go through, frequent anger outbursts, and the rebellious or bad behavior exhibited by them at times.

Such actions and behaviors may have biological or emotional reasons. Read my post – How to Cope With Teenage Mood Swings, to know more about them.

In the post, you will know exactly why teenagers have mood swings and difficulty in controlling their emotions. You will also understand the reasons for identity crises that the teens undergo.

Scientists report that one of the reasons for teenage problems is the incomplete development (at that age) of the brain portion responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and judgment making.

This, however, does not give you the liberty to create problems. The way to develop the above-mentioned qualities is by exercising control over your mind.

These all are certainly some of the factors of teenage problems, but here let’s discuss the main problems teens face, shall we?

Teenage Drug Abuse

teenage drug abuse by smoking marijuana

Not only in America but all over the world, high school students are more hooked on to marijuana than drinking alcohol.

This makes the situation worse as marijuana impacts the brain directly. It’s purely self-harm due to ignorance.

The irony is that many teens consider marijuana and drugs like ecstasy as fun, tamer, effective, good for mental focus, and above all, not harmful.

Teenagers are widely abusing prescription painkiller drugs and using legal substitutes.

Most teenagers start on these drugs just for the sake of curiosity and experimentation, or because they see others do it and consider it a norm that they have to follow.

However, for many of them it costs their life.

Statistics reveal that people who started substance abuse in their teen years became addicted by the time they became adults and harmed their life in many ways, including damaging their relationships.

Teen Advice: These so-called “soft” drugs can in no way be an excuse for you to stay away from the “hard” drugs like cocaine and heroin.

What you need to do is to say NO to drugs completely.

There is no drug that you can label as “safe”. Furthermore, why do drugs at all?

Remember, all substances including alcohol, marijuana, tobacco etc., have an adverse impact on your cognitive and emotional development. In short, they do you more harm than good.

You may feel happier and on a high at that moment, but that happiness is short-lived – very dependent on the drug, and comes with many side effects and harmful disadvantages.

Instead, you can opt to work on personal development and achieve long-term happiness.

If you are undergoing stress and trauma, then there are other ways to relieve stress using your senses, instead of looking for solutions in materialistic things and substances.

You have all the solution within you – only if you care to know yourself. 🙂

Teenage Love

teenager girl in love problem being abused

Love is at the base of every healthy relationship though scientists say that teen love is complicated.

Teenage love is generally a result of the mixture of chemical and hormonal changes that occur in the body.

Not to mention that there’s also a desire to follow the romantic ideals from novels, movies, or even real life, and the curiosity to experience and experiment love.

Some teenagers also have love affairs simply to compete or show off because they are jealous of their friends having affairs. Whereas, some just don’t want to be the odd one out in their group.

Such relationships are tricky because you tend to rush into them without carefully knowing the person.

One of the pitfalls of such a relationship is that the other person starts controlling, or forces you to do things against your wish.

Many teens suffer abuse in their relationships, though they are not able to assess and understand the abuse. The abuse can be emotional, physical, sexual, financial, and social.

They may be so psyched and blinded that they drop their guard, disbelieve their doubts, and become dependent on their partner.

Other factors that lead to problems in teenage love are lack of maturity, commitment, reciprocation, and self-worth, apart from cheating and infatuation.

How do you assess yourself?

I know falling in love as a teenager is exciting. However, what feels like love, may not really be love – so be careful!

Teen Advice: There are numerous reports of teen dating abuse and violence. That is the beginning of a potentially dangerous relationship, which should be avoided.

Even if you believe that your boyfriend or girlfriend who is hurting you – loves you, it’s not a healthy relationship, so avoid it.

Do not accept abuse in any form. Have high self-esteem and rethink of the relationship that becomes a burden or a drag.

Teen relationships and the teens themselves are continually growing and changing, and that’s one reason such relationships don’t last long.

Remember that your first love in your teens, might be ruled by your hormones and not by your heart, and it may be difficult for you to tell the difference. So, watch each step you tread!

Teenage Pregnancy

girl suffering from teenage pregnancy

One of the worst things that can happen to a teenage girl is to get pregnant without getting married. There goes all your fun and independence.

You soon realize that having a love affair and sex in your teenage years is not always cool and nothing to experiment.

It could result in teenage pregnancy, which forces many teen mothers to drop out of school. How would that affect your life and future?

Not only biologically and medically, but teenage pregnancy also has socioeconomic repercussions, because raising a baby requires finances and support.

There is also a psychological impact on the teen mother as her life would drastically change and she might have a difficult time adjusting to it.

Since there is a large probability of teen mothers giving birth to premature babies, it aggravates the problems for them, and the development of the child.

Moreover, according to statistics – 8 out of 10 teen dads don’t marry the teen mother. Therefore, if you don’t take precautions, it’s going to be a lone battle with life.

Teen Advice: There are only two logical options to avoid teenage pregnancy – avoid having sexual intercourse, and even if you do, always use contraceptives as a precautionary measure.

This awareness could save you the additional problems for a lifetime.

Don’t succumb to any kind of pressure and learn to say NO if you don’t feel comfortable about having sex. It is YOUR life – don’t let anyone rule over it!

Teen boys should also understand the grave implications involved in having sex. They need to act responsibly and always use protection.

Teen dads cannot get away from the problems that the teen mothers face, and teen boys have to take up the responsibility if they get a teen girl pregnant.

I’d personally suggest you to exercise control and patience as you’ll get many opportunities later in life to discover and experience your sexuality.

Teenage Violence

girl with a gun in teen violence

Anger is a major negative characteristic of the teenage years. Teenagers easily get upset, and they are unable to control their negative feelings in most of the cases.

Teen violence is a harmful behavior that can occur in the form of bullying, fighting, cyber bullying, and using weapons that also leads to school shootings, besides sexual assault and murder.

Such actions not only cause you physical harm but also leave you with a deep emotional scar that can last a lifetime and ruin your life.

Peer pressure, friendship with antisocial and delinquent peers, and membership in a gang are some of the factors that encourage teen violence.

A violent teenager is likely to undergo other teenage problems too including drug or alcohol abuse, and depression.

Teen Advice: You should understand your own reasons for getting angry and try to avoid such situations or conditions. If you cannot, then you can best try controlling your reactions.

Don’t be impulsive. Instead, try to seek the help of your parents or teachers to resolve your anxiety and frustration.

Try to understand that anger is a ‘cover up’ or mask for your feelings of fear, shame, frustration, embarrassment, and others. You need to learn to cope with them.

Release your negative energy and feelings of anger through positive means such as sports, games, running, painting, listening to music, meditation, yoga, or any other hobby.

Don’t choose anger as a way to assert your independence and to find your own identity – this mostly backfires. Anger will make you helpless and lose control, with no positive outcome.

Reduce your exposure to TV, Internet, video games. Spend more time on exercising, eating right, leading a healthy lifestyle, getting enough sleep, and finding a good way of entertainment.

Teenage Depression

Girl sitting with teenage depression

Almost everybody undergoes a low phase in life when sadness prevails, but it’s mostly temporary. Depression is the state when you feel too low and sad for a long period.

You may feel like no one understands you and that you will never be happy again. You lose heart and don’t feel like doing anything, and harbor the feelings of being worthless and incapable.

Such thoughts and feelings affect your studies as your grades suffer. There is a lack of concentration and motivation, and you feel drained off energy most of the time.

You are flawed with negative feelings, moods, and thoughts. You could become so overwhelmed with your helplessness that you think of harming yourself, or committing suicide in some cases.

Teenage suicide can be prevented if teenagers are given timely help and support to overcome their sadness.

Sometimes even if your parents, elders, teachers, and friends want to help you, they cannot do so until you open up and share your thoughts and feelings with them.

Teen Advice: Do away with alcohol or drugs, if you are using them because they can sometimes magnify and take your negative or sad feelings to extremes.

You are not able to be yourself when you are under the influence of such toxic substances.

Keep away from bad company and from those who make you feel low and dejected. Seek the help of your parents, good friends, close relatives, and confide in them.

If you have suicidal tendencies and find no one to share and talk to, call the suicide helpline. You will find good listeners there who can also help you understand yourself and solve your problems.

Remember that the dark clouds of negative thoughts will soon pass by. You need to be brave, hold on to yourself, engage yourself in positive activities, listen to motivational stuff, and never be alone.

Always share, keep communicating, force yourself to go out, and believe in yourself so you don’t lose control of your mind.

You will be back to normal in no time. 🙂

“I think the hardest part about being a teenager is dealing with other teenagers – the criticism and the ridicule, the gossip and rumors.” ~ Beverley Mitchell

These were a few common teenage problems, but I know there are many other problems that a teenager faces in life, which I will be discussing in my future posts.

If you are going through some of these teenage problems or are aware of your friends going through any of them, then do share in the comments to help others in a similar situation.

No matter what, I would say that always have a positive attitude to accept change and learn to improve, besides having this belief ingrained in your mind that every problem has a solution.

Don’t hesitate to seek help and suggestion from your peers, elders, parents, and teachers. Each one of them has gone through this phase of life, and every word of advice counts.

Keep yourself educated and aware of the various problems that a teenager faces in life.

There’s no denying the fact that part of the responsibility of the teenage problems lies with their parents or caretakers.

They need to spot the problems early, create an amicable environment, be good role models, and act with wisdom and compassion.

Even if you don’t get the ideal parental support, shed your ignorance in spite of all odds by accessing information as in this post to make yourself aware and avoid the typical teen problems.

Prove that you are a smart teenager by avoiding these problems in your life. 🙂

“How strange that the young should always think the world is against them – when in fact that is the only time it is for them.” ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Over To You –

As a teenager, how do you tackle your teen problems? If you are an adult or a parent, what would you suggest to the teenagers and proactively do yourself to not let such teenage problems arise at all. Discuss and share in the comments.

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos

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92 Comments - Read and share thoughts

  1. Suzette Blakemore

    September 13, 2013 at 8:42 am

    My 3 kids have all grown up and moved on but I can relate to much of your post. Thanks for sharing. Lately, I’ve found that writing stories about our lives together as been a fun way for us to connect about how I was as a parent and how they were as teenagers!

    Thanks for your great post.

    • Harleena Singh

      September 16, 2013 at 12:39 pm

      Welcome to the blog Suzette!

      Nice to know that you’ve grown up kids, which is all the more reason you’d be able to throw more light on such a subject 🙂

      I agree with you there – I think when we share our own life experiences it works out best, and perhaps being a parent of grown-up kids can give you lots to share about too, isn’t it?. It’s also nice if we can give back something more to our readers so that they can learn and take back something from this post because at times our experience isn’t all that much.

      Thanks for stopping by, and do visit again 🙂

  2. Devya Agarwal

    September 11, 2013 at 11:12 am

    HI Harleena,

    I am neither in teenage nor a mother of teenage kid but yes in future I’ll be a mother of teenage daughter (currently she is just 1.5 year old).
    After reading your article I can imagine that how difficult it is to handle a teenage kid.

    • Harleena Singh

      September 11, 2013 at 12:17 pm

      Welcome to the blog Devya!

      That is indeed a sweet age, and yes, you do have some time before your daughter becomes a teenager, though I’m sure you can relate to these teenage problems as you were too a teenager once, isn’t it? But yes, I do hope no teenager ever has to come across such problems in their lives, yet if they do, I hope they can take something from this post, which was written with an aim to help them and their parents, if required. Yes, parenting is NOT easy, and I think right from the time a child is born, till the time they grow up, and even after they are married off, where does the worry of parents ever end 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  3. Joe

    September 4, 2013 at 12:41 am

    As a parent of three I never experienced any such problems, thank God. I have always tried to live as my childrens friend but realised also that this is not cool if done too obviously.

    Many have commented that children mature more quickly these days. Outwardly and physically they seem to but there is no way to short-cut through the emotional and the accompanying physiological steps of development through which we all passed on our way to proper maturity – if we ever got there!! falling in love is a good example. People of 15 or 65 behave in the same ‘strange’ ways.

    I was always comforted to discover that my child – male or female – had someone sensible in whom to confide be it at school or work. this is a role we can all be sensitive to providing to those around us, once again not done too obviously.

    • Harleena Singh

      September 8, 2013 at 7:39 pm

      Welcome to the blog Joe!

      You are indeed lucky, but these are actually major problems and not all parents of teens go through these, though there are many other teenage issues that teenagers face, which I’d be taking up in my future posts 🙂

      I agree with you there – to a certain extent, being a friend with your kid’s IS essential, but they must know who to listen to as well. Yes indeed, kids and teens are maturing up much earlier than their age, though there are a lot of reasons and factors for that. Yes, it’s almost like children and older lots behave the same way, there is a stage they do!

      Yes indeed, giving that emotional security to our kid’s that we are there, is essential, though not making it too obvious as you mentioned, lest they take advantage of that.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post. 🙂

      BTW- Do get a Gravatar so that we know who we are talking to as your picture would show up next to your name that ways. Just a friendly suggestion 🙂

  4. MARK

    September 3, 2013 at 10:01 pm

    Very needy discussion for parents. Teenage problems should be handled carefully by parents. In place of forcing them to follow parent’s path make them feel & decide what is good for them.

    • Harleena Singh

      September 8, 2013 at 7:29 pm

      Welcome to the blog Mark!

      Glad you liked this much needed discussion, which is for both, parents and their teens 🙂

      I agree with you there, any kind of teenage issues must be handled with utmost care. I guess parents need to communicate their feelings and vice-versa so that the teens know they have their parents with them, no matter what. Yes, there should be no forcing of any kind at all.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  5. Donna Merrill

    September 3, 2013 at 6:51 pm

    Oh boy Harleena this takes me back!

    When I was growing up my daughter, the one important factor during her teen years was communication. I told her that no matter what, she can always come to me for help.

    One day, she experimented with alcohol. I was out and told her no one could come over the house. When I returned there were 15 boys (some older than her) in my home. I reacted but then realized that these boys had taken her home because she drank too much. These boys were her friends and knew my rules. They didn’t want to leave her alone in case of alcohol poisoning. They took care of her until I returned. Well, we took her to the hospital, but she was fine.

    For weeks she asked me what was her punishment. I told her that she already had her punishment by being so sick. She never drank that much again.

    The hardest thing I ever had to do was learn “tough love” because I just didn’t know how to do that. So I took classes, and when she started to get out of control, I would stand my ground.

    We as parents are responsible for our teens. If we don’t know how to handle a situation, we have to get out there and learn how to do it the best way we can.

    Now, that she is older, she appreciates the reigns I put on her. Of course she couldn’t see it then, but she sees it now.

    -Donna

    • Harleena Singh

      September 8, 2013 at 7:24 pm

      Hi Donna,

      Yes, it does take one back in time, doesn’t it? 🙂

      That’s the best thing you did as a parent I think, and even your daughter must have loved that coming from you. It’s SO important to keep those channels of communication always open between parents and kid’s, teens more so. At least they know they have someone to go back home to and share things with, whether in need or even otherwise.

      Oh dear…it must’ve been shocking to see her take alcohol and be home with so many boys, but I’m glad you handled the situation so well. I’m glad it didn’t get to a worse state, because such things can be the trigger points for something really bad if not controlled in time, isn’t it?

      I’m just glad that my kid’s are far off from any of these, or perhaps the culture this end has an important role to play, though in the metros things are pretty much the same or perhaps worse.

      Standing your ground when and if required IS essential, even though they know we are with them. Sometimes you need to become a disciplinary rather than a friendly parent with your teens, so that they learn and don’t go astray.

      I agree with you, and being parents, we need to take care. If we can’t, we need to find ways or seek help to handle our teens and such teenage problems, if and when they occur, or prepare our teens just incase they come across such issues in their lives.

      Oh yes…realization always comes in later, though I’m glad at least they realize things 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us, which I’m sure would help many teens and their parents. 🙂

  6. Elissa P

    September 3, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    Hello Harleena,

    I always love your post and should come by more. I am working on my own site and sometime I feel their is not enough time in the day to do all I need to do. Anyway, I will try to do better.

    Wonderful post, I am a older mother but my children are very young and I do wonder about their futures as teenagers. I remember when I was a teenager, I knew my parents did not understand me or even try to listen to what I have to say. One, because my mother was a teenager when she had me and two, she just did not know how to relate.

    I pray that teenagers will be able to communicated with their parents more, but it start from a young age. Parents please don’t want until you children are teenagers to start communicating with them. Also, Harleena, as you stated in your post they will learn from their mistakes be it good or bad.

    Blessings always in all that you do.

    Elissa.

    • Harleena Singh

      September 8, 2013 at 7:10 pm

      Welcome to the blog Elissa!

      Thank you for saying that, and yes, you must come more often. I can understand how things get when you are just starting off with your own site, having gone through it all myself 🙂

      Nice to know more about you and your kids. I’m sure, unlike your Mom, you’d make a wonderful mother because you wouldn’t want to repeat the same things with your kids. Perhaps your mother was too young that time to understand things herself to be able to explain them to you, thus perhaps couldn’t relate. I guess you have an added advantage there.

      I agree with you there – the channels of communication must remain open right from the time they are kid’s and not after they become teens, so that by the time they are teens, they become more of friend’s with you and are willing to share anything with you. Yes indeed, sometimes even when parents want to convey the right from wrong to them, they just won’t listen until and unless they go through things themselves, while the wiser lots (which are rare!) will listen and take cues.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂

  7. Carol B

    September 3, 2013 at 4:45 pm

    Great round up of tips for parents. I have a fifteen year old, and though he’s a good kid, I still worry. We do our best to talk with him and his younger brother about pitfalls like these that often trip up teens. Just keeping my fingers crossed that it’s working!

    • Harleena Singh

      September 7, 2013 at 1:51 pm

      Hi Carol – nice to have you back 🙂

      Glad you liked the post and could relate to it too 🙂

      I can well understand that or perhaps that’s a normal feeling for parents of teen because you never know what happens when. It’s something I also wonder about my kids at times. Yes, healthy and open communication is essential I feel, more so with teens, who otherwise tend to keep themselves bottled up. Yes, fingers and toes, both crossed 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views 🙂

  8. Angela McCall

    September 3, 2013 at 12:18 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    I finally made it to your blog. 🙂

    I’m actually in my bed reading my friends blogs. All I did today was write…write…write… I actually got 3 different topics writing altogether at least 2000+ words. So I’m working on forming new habits.

    Well, all the things you mentioned here are true. I wish my daughter is reading this now. But she’s got her mind set on other things. When she was 14 she wants to be 26 soon. She’s always rushing. I said to her, “Don’t rush the time. When you get 40, you wish you’re 20 again. So enjoy now.”

    Like you said, what some teens think it’s the love is not love at all. What I often tell my daughters are, “What you feel when you were 16 is not the same feeling when you get 26, 36, or 56…because we are constantly changing. What you think when you were young will not be the same when you are old.”

    Feelings are fickled and unreliable…

    Love is not based on just feelings alone. But it is based on principles and commitment.

    Love is a decision.

    Why teenagers do exactly just the opposite what you just explained to them NOT what to do. Why do they try to reinvent the wheel of trying to solve their problems when all they need to do is LEARN from people who made same mistakes. Why take the hard path?

    “Let me make my own mistake and learn from it.” Why? Do you think you’re different from others and will shed new lights if you go through the rough road and make your own mistakes? Why?

    Why don’t you want to listen to your parents? to your elders? who’s got their best interest at heart for your sake?

    Why? *shakes head*

    My heart grieved for stubborn teenagers who does not give heed to words of wisdom. They are like a walking light bulb, foolish, waiting to get screwed.

    Anyway…Great article for teenagers!

    I hope a lot of teenagers out there will be reached and touched by this writing.

    Have a great evening.

    Angela

    • Harleena Singh

      September 6, 2013 at 3:04 pm

      Hi Angela,

      Nice to have you back – I know we are all so busy, so no worries at all. 🙂

      Awesome indeed! I can well relate to the writing part because that’s all I do myself too, but I also count my comments in writing because of the great length they run into, just like yours! So, we shouldn’t forget our comments as they are over and above the normal word we write, isn’t it? 🙂

      Ah…I don’t know about other teens for whom this post was mainly written, which includes my own, but knowing them, it’s the last thing they’d like to lay their eyes on – so you’re not alone! It’s just what Ashutosh was also mentioning that teens are always in a rush and they feel they’ve got a lot to do so try to handle a lot of things together, not realizing that they are missing so much by not living in the moment or enjoying their age now. Perhaps it’s the lives they lead that are pretty hectic and the pressure to keep up with their friend’s or the thoughts about what others may think about them keep them in such a confused state most of the time.

      Love is often that teens never understand though they all feel they do! No matter what you might explain or tell them, they ALL feel they ARE in love and it’s true and their only love…ah…how I wish they would think more sensibly. Yet, as parents we know they will come across this phase and will pass over it too, though they need to be dealt with care and explained everything well in details, before they create major problems for themselves.

      Teenagers rarely listen to their parents or elders and they DO learn from their mistakes. Most of them like to take their own decisions and learn their own way. I also wish it wasn’t like that and if we could just put some sense into them that it’s wise to learn from those who have gone through the same path, rather than get hurt and go through the pain and trauma and then realize things. But what’s destined to happen will happen, and you nor me can really do anything much other than just be there for them if they need us, though keep guiding them patiently with the hope that they just might listen one fine day.

      Thanks for stopping by and adding so much more to the post with your valuable comment. Yes, I do hope this post helps teens and their parents in more way than one, and I’m sure it will with wonderful parents like yourself to throw more light on this subject. Have a nice weekend 🙂

  9. Evelyn Lim

    September 3, 2013 at 6:10 am

    Great article with wonderful tips for every teenager, Harleena! My elder daughter is about to reach her teenage years. Already I am seeing signs of emotional swings. I was not quite sure what to do initially. However, I soon realized how important it is to help her learn how to master her emotions and to cope with stress. I try to keep the communication lines open so that she knows that she can turn to her parents when she is in trouble or needs help. It has been quite a journey being a parent, I must say!

    • Harleena Singh

      September 6, 2013 at 2:24 pm

      Hi Evelyn,

      Glad you liked the tips shared here and I hope your teens never have to use these in their lives 🙂

      Ah…mood swings, just as I was telling Sue, are so very normal and they occur mainly due to the hormonal changes that teens go through. I agree with you, being parents we need to just guide and be there for them because they DO go through a lot of changes in this phase of their life. You are doing the right thing by keeping your channels of communication open with her, which she must be appreciating. Oh yes…parenting is NO easy task – ask me about it! But yet we love it, don’t we? 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing more about your kids with us. 🙂

  10. Sue Price

    September 2, 2013 at 10:37 am

    Hi Harleena

    Wow you have done an amazing job in this post as this is a difficult topic. All of the problems are there for sure and it is a difficult time for both teenagers and the parents of them.

    I have 3 step children and one daughter of my own. All are now grown up but it was not without the pain of this period of life.

    All 4 went through mood swings. That is normal. 3 if them were very conscientious as school and this helped at least keep them at home doing homework more than out partying.

    My youngest step son was the one was the difficult one. He did get into drugs and drug related activities. He was living with my husbands first wife and she would call us in the middle of the night in panic. It was a horrible time. I am pleased to say he is now in a long term relationship with two children of his own. He is a very hands on father so it is a joy to see the turn around.

    My eldest stepson met his wife at high school and they have been together ever since.

    So children even with the same upbringing and circumstances do not always make the same choices.

    I think there is a added pressure now with social media for young people.

    Thanks for an amazing stark look at the problems that face teenagers today Harleena.

    Sue

    • Harleena Singh

      September 6, 2013 at 2:03 pm

      Hi Sue,

      Glad you liked the post, and thank you for your kind words of appreciation. 🙂

      You would actually be the perfect person to throw more light on these teenage issues having 4 kids who went through this same phase. I’m sure they never went through all of these issues but there are so many smaller teenage problems that our teens phase – it really saddens me at times.

      Ah…mood swings are so-so normal, and I guess as parents we need to work our way about them when they are in their good moods! Sorry to hear about your youngest step son, though glad that he’s through that tough time and enjoying fatherhood now. Perhaps being that young and not having his parents living together might have had a psychological impact on him, which might have led him to drugs – anything is possible.

      You are absolutely right – children raised the same way might turn out to be so different and you’ve seen that with your own kids, which is the case in a majority of cases. Oh yes…social media and the Internet can have a lot of pressure on our teens and also create a lot of problems for them.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences and wisdom with us. 🙂

  11. Ashutosh

    September 2, 2013 at 9:35 am

    Hi Harleena,

    A very nice topic in need of attention and you have done justice to it by discussing the problems of teens from a wide angle. It is an age of experimentation and every teenage wants to experience everything in a very short span of time. Most of the time, they think that whatever they have learnt from their life is enough to handle the future.

    I believe the problems aren’t about a person but about the age and we can’t deny that we all have behaved similarly in our teenage. It is important that we don’t get lost while experimenting but learn and move ahead positively towards good aspects of life.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts about such an interesting topic and I am sure it is going to help all of us.

    • Harleena Singh

      September 6, 2013 at 1:39 pm

      Hi Ashutosh – nice to have you back 🙂

      Yes indeed, I felt strongly about it, perhaps because of my own kids who are teenagers now and also because one keeps reading and seeing so much about such teenage problems all over.

      You are so right there – that’s exactly what they feel that they are big enough to handle it all. And they are forever in a rush to try new things, without giving it a deep thought that where it would lead them.

      We were very different I’d say, but as the generations change, things change and I just fear what our grandchildren will be like! We as parents need to keep our teens with us, no matter what and be there to guide them. Agreed, they will experiment and try out things that perhaps they shouldn’t, but if as parents we know what’s going to happen, we can prepare them of the consequences in adavnce, which might help them in some way, isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing your thoughts 🙂

      • Ashutosh

        September 6, 2013 at 4:46 pm

        Yes Harleena. You are absolutely right, we must help them to know in advance about the result of their course of action.

        In fact, during one of my research papers on Digital Divide, I came with some documents mentioning that the brain circuitry in today’s generation is different from us. It might also be one of the reasons behind the difference in their behaviour as they are more exposed to the technology these days.

        • Harleena Singh

          September 7, 2013 at 1:20 pm

          Absolutely Ashutosh!

          Though parents try to do that, very few teens really listen to them I’d say. Oh yes…those papers are absolutely correct about the exposure to technology, which could be a reason of their behavior, while some other studies also indicate it’s the enviornment that plays a role, so one really can’t say. Being parents and caretakers, we just have to ensure that we do our best to guide them it the best way, isn’t it?

          Thanks once again 🙂

  12. Mayura

    September 2, 2013 at 1:43 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Shouldn’t we expect this post from you? 😉 I don’t know how parents with teenagers may feel about this, but I went through as a teenager.

    When I was a teenager, all I knew about unspoken teenage love which made ’em all philosophers 😀 Anyway, few of friends had partners too. Had no sad news about pregnancy or drug abuse though. May be as they were most criticized subjects in the society.

    We may get utmost care since we born, but I really believe teenage years are when parents need to recall their own teenage years and be more close to their children. Isn’t it Harleena? Things happening at that time will deep seated in their hearts.

    As a teenager, I used to judge how much they do love and care about what I feel. Parents do care, but teenage years are expecting more than usual attention as they starting to explore the outer World and get confused by things happening around ’em. Especially in little things. Well, little for parents but not for teenagers. Else, they might reach out someone else for advises. You know, some teenagers can be convinced easily if you know how. I wish if parents knew all those tricks.

    I like the negative self-affirmations you pointed out Harleena 🙂 I think they are directly relates to their feeling being neglected. Is it? They might be thinking “If my parents can’t care when I need ’em, why should I listen to ’em at all?”.

    Drugs and sex are hot topics on the table which freaks me out when I think of future. When I heard of teens who addicted to drugs, I feel so sad Harleena. Sometimes I feel angry with their parents for not taking necessary actions when they could.

    I think, Internet can be a starting point leading to feel great about having sex before marriage dear. Sex is overrated on Internet and misguided in many sites. Even justify bad habits including violence. If you take a look at online forums such as Yahoo answers, many users recommend bad habits and even they pop up in 1st pages of Google search results too. It takes some time for teens to understand that porn movies are being directed. Sometimes, even adults can’t understand that too.

    Usually teens don’t reach out their parents on these stuff, so their main source is Internet or their friends. I think schools should act before that and offer formal education about sex before they fall into wrong information Harleena. With smartphones in their hands, they are exposed to whole lot of stuff.

    Wonderful topic that I can talk even more dear 😉 It just worries me and teen lives shouldn’t be ruined. I think it’s enough for now 😀 lol…

    You have a fabulous week there dear 🙂

    Cheers…

    • Harleena Singh

      September 6, 2013 at 1:32 pm

      Hi Mayura,

      Did you guess that I would be soon writing about this topic? I know you can so well relate to his having just crossed your teen years too. 🙂

      Lol… yes, teens are struck by love at that age and most tend to become philosophers, and you are right as parents we need to remember our time when we were teens and bond better with our kids. However, our times were much better than the times nowadays and all that the teens undergo. I do feel bad for them, but such is life.

      There are only some teens who really care about the feelings of their parents, or perhaps they want to have it all their way and not listen to their parents and this can turn out to be pretty bad too at times. Yes, they don’t really want to take the advice of parents or their elders because they feel that what they are doing is the right thing, which might not be so. They need to understand that parents mean well for them, but as you pointed out, sometimes when parents don’t listen to their teens at all, the teens too become defiant and say why should we listen to our parents. It shouldn’t be this way ideally because parents have their reasons perhaps for not listening to you, if they mean well, for which teens need to talk out and discuss with them, isn’t it?

      I agree with you there – all these teenage problems are what most teens and their parents ARE going through nowadays. To some extent it’s the parents’ responsibility, but we can’t really blame them entirely too because what teens pick up from their friends or other people we can’t really say. Yes, parents need to guide them in the right direction and always support them, and if they aren’t doing that, then that’s bad for sure.

      I agree with you there- teens are often misled about a lot of things on the Internet, or they tend to visit sites and come in contact with people who aren’t going to have a positive impact on them. Oh yes…sometimes forums are pretty bad and it makes me wonder too how Google puts them all on the 1st page and that’s the most clickable link as well.

      I guess such talks are taboo or forbidden in most families or they know their parents won’t reply to their questions even if they ask them. Yes, they prefer the company of their friends and have easy access to the Internet for finding about things, which is most of the time half-baked information that’s more harmful. Sex education was supposed to have started off in schools, and there was a lot of talk about it, but just like other things it also died it’s own death. Oh yes… Smartphones should be banned for teens I feel or parents should keep a complete eye on their activities because where they might slip, you can never know. I’ve to keep a strict watch on mine too 🙂

      I know you’re at that age where you’ve just crossed your teens (I think), so you’ve so much to share on this topic. If you have more to share, please feel free to do so because we all love to hear from you, more so, because you’ve experienced what it’s like to be a teenager. I do hope this post helps parents and teenagers to take timely action before it’s too late, and if things do get out of hand they are able to support their teens.

      Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. Have a nice weekend 🙂

      • Mayura

        September 10, 2013 at 7:16 pm

        Hi Harleena,

        As you start talking about teenagers, I thought you will, but not this sooner though 😉

        Here, elders always tend to talk like that too ~ “Our times were much better than the times nowadays” 😉 But I find it as an excuse for them too. Especially, when they don’t do anything about it. Anyway, I know you are aware of what’s happening around the World and do take necessary action as a mother 🙂

        Today I’ve watched a movie ~ “Disconnect”. I think it’s a wonderful movie for parents, as it shows some things that children will never talk with their parents.

        Even parents do think that they care their children, it may not true from the point of view of children. I think it’s much better if both parities can communicate and share their thoughts 🙂 Well, without forcing ’em to open up.

        Even innocent children can be victims, not because of their faults but due to people they come across. Being anonymous is just easy for anyone online. Such incidents are happening online and everyday. I’m sure you even heard of such stories too Harleena 🙂

        Cheers…

        • Harleena Singh

          September 11, 2013 at 2:27 pm

          Hi Mayura,

          Yes, our times were different…and at times I find myself rather antique when I compare myself or see other teens around me 🙂

          But yes, as a mother one’s got to be aware and alert ALL the time. Ah..nice that you saw that movie – I’ve only heard about it, and it seems like a nice one. Yes indeed, both parents and teens need to open up and share their feelings with each other. Parents play a major role as this needs to start with their kids right from the time they are small, so that when they become teenagers, they don’t feel forced.

          You’re right – smaller kids and tweens are very much on the list too due to who they might start trusting and become friends with. It’s a very bad world out there if parents and kids aren’t careful and in it together. But if parents take a little more control of things, a lot of such issues can be tackled, isn’t it?

          Thanks once again 🙂

  13. Susan Neal

    September 1, 2013 at 10:28 pm

    You pick all the easy topics for your blog posts, don’t you, Harleena?!

    This brought back lots of painful memories for me – I just remember being thoroughly screwed up for much of my teenage years, and quite unhappy. I was very stressed by school and the pressure of exams etc. I had relatively ‘old’ parents – my Mum was over 40 when I was born – and I think that had a big impact and made things much harder, because there was such a gulf between my parents’ generation and my own. I’d also got involved with a quite evangelical group of Christians and, in retrospect, I think this really messed me up, for many years. I’m still in touch with one or two friends from those days, who have retained their faith, and I respect that, but it wasn’t right for me. It makes me think of the young people who get drawn into extremist sects in other religions. You’re very impressionable at that age, easily influenced, and I think teenagers need to be wary of any extreme pressure groups, of all persuasions.

    I’m glad I’m not a teenager today – I think the pressures on them are immense. I read a very alarming article the other week about the pressure on girls to conform to a very rigid set of ‘norms’ as regards their physical appearance (skinny, straight hair, flawless skin, waxed within an inch of their lives etc.) – apparently they spend an absolute fortune on cosmetics and hours and hours making themselves up in order to look just right. How depressing is that?

    I’m not sure what advice I’d give, because the challenges teenagers face are just so complicated – I guess the main thing is they need support to discover themselves, to find their strengths and what’s going to fulfil them. Ironically, although teenagers are supposed be rebellious, I think the main problem they face is pressure to conform to the expectations of their peers. They need permission to be themselves and help to avoid the really serious dangers, like drugs and teenage pregnancy, which could end up scarring them for life – or, worst case scenario, bringing their young lives to a premature end.

    Sorry if that’s a bit rambling and grim, Harleena – I’m sure your post and the other great comments here will be a big help to any teenagers who stop by to have a read.

    • Harleena Singh

      September 5, 2013 at 8:07 pm

      Hi Sue,

      Ah…easy one indeed! Didn’t it remind you of your time? But I think we were so much better off than the teens nowadays, weren’t we?

      Sorry to hear about your teen years, which I feel had their share of ups and downs. Oh yes.. the exam pressure and stress were always there and I just wished it was simpler for us, though when I see kid’s nowadays and the amount they have to cope up I thank my lucky stars that we didn’t have to go through all of that our time!

      I can understand the generation gap, and that does have an effect on how kids are raised – something that we can’t really control. The wrong kind of friend’s or bad company is something I can relate to as well as I’ve relatives whose children are the same way, and it took a lot of hard work and effort for the parents to get them away from such a company. I agree with you there, teens need to be wary of joining groups or gangs that might harm them but the sad part is that they don’t realize this until it’s too late, and few kids really listen to their parents nowadays.

      You’re right – teenage girls DO all of what you mentioned and the pressure comes from their own group of friend’s surprisingly. I am glad my kid’s are away from all of that, which happens only when parents intervene and calm them down by letting them know that such things aren’t important in life. I can SO well relate to them spending on the cosmetics and other accessories too – I need to literally stop mine from going overboard so many times, but now they understand.

      Your advice is very valuable Sue, and as you rightly mentioned, they need our full help and support, and mainly guidance so that they don’t go the wrong way. And even if they do, we are always there for them – this belief is something that helps them I think because being teens we know they are bound to commit mistakes. However, as elders we need to guide them and make them realize that all is not lost in such a way that they take lessons and don’t commit the same mistakes again.

      I wish these teenage problems as mentioned in the post aren’t something that teens come across in their lives, but if they do have these issues, I hope this post helps them or their parents overcome them.

      No rambling at all – you know I love to hear from you and you are always welcome to express yourself here anytime. Yes indeed, I did want us all to share our views so that teens or their parents can take the required help from it and use it in their life.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your pearls of wisdom with us. Have a nice week ahead 🙂

  14. Hiten

    September 1, 2013 at 2:05 am

    Hi Harleena,

    This was a wonderful and powerful post. I could sense your words were straight from your heart.

    One point of advice I would like to add for teens is to be brave and not be afraid of letting go of friends who essentially are not going anywhere in life. Such teens will only bring down teens who are good deep down. I had to leave a group of friends like this when I realised they were not really friends.

    Thank you.

    • Harleena Singh

      September 2, 2013 at 1:54 pm

      Hi Hiten,

      Thank you so much for saying that, and yes, they sure were, or perhaps I was concerned for all teens and their parents, being a Mom to two of them myself 🙂

      You mentioned a very important point, and thanks for adding that up here. This is exactly what I’ve been telling my kid’s to keep them away from bad company, which most teens don’t realize till it’s too late. Perhaps they want to remain in the good books of their so called friends, but they don’t know how they get involved into such teen issues. My hubby too talks about his college days where like you, he also made a delierate effort to leave such friend’s because he realized the harm they were causing him.

      Thanks for stopping by and adding such an important point to the post 🙂

  15. Shathyan Raja

    August 31, 2013 at 10:08 pm

    Being a Teen is the biggest problem where we will have an tendency to do different things which are bad to us. We will know it bad but yet we will be more eager to know what it is and how it will be.

    • Harleena Singh

      September 2, 2013 at 1:48 pm

      Welcome to the blog Shathyan!

      Absolutely! That might be because as a teen, you are exposed to different friends who might be doing such things, or perhaps teenagers themselves like to try new things just for fun sake. I guess they don’t tend to realize the harm it can cause them in the long run – isn’t it?

      Yes indeed, teenagers like to experiment things on their own I think, and no matter how much elders guide them, very few really listen! If they did, they would be away from lots of such teen problems. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views 🙂

  16. srikanth

    August 31, 2013 at 9:40 pm

    Hi Ma’am,

    Well after long i am here to show my presence because the title has attracted my intention and forced me to read each and every line of this post.

    As usual Nice write up ma’am. You were excellent in describing the teenage problems in depth with an accurate solution for it 🙂

    Yes, Every teenager will encounter every problem which you have listed in this post. MY sincere suggestion for you is i want you to write a post about problems with Teenage love.

    Every teenager will trying something new which is entirely different from their friends. They would to try different and would fail to get success !! Even though Failure teach us the way for Success. some would like to accept it!!

    Thanks for the post!! Felt really happy after reading the article !! 🙂 🙂

    • Harleena Singh

      September 2, 2013 at 1:43 pm

      Hi Srikanth – nice to have you back 🙂

      Glad you liked the post and could relate to it. I guess I should write attractive headlines to get people over!

      Yes indeed, these teen issues are the ones most teenagers and parents face and I hope the solutions provided helps them in some way or the other. I agree with you there, and I will be writing about ALL these teenage problems one by one, teen love included, so stay tuned 🙂

      Teens try things different from what their parents tell them, that’s for sure most of the times! But they like doing what their friend’s suggest, and sometimes that leads them in the wrong direction also, while at other times if they have a good circle of friend’s, it can help them achieve success too.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I think you might have just crossed your teen so you are able to relate so well to it, isn’t it? 🙂




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How To Deal With Teenage Problems

by Harleena Singh time to read: 13 min