How To Deal With Teenage Problems

Table of Contents What Stops Teenagers From Seeking HelpCommon Teenage Problems That You Should KnowTeenage Drug AbuseTeenage LoveTeenage…
girl with teenage problems holding her head

Are you sailing smoothly in your teenage years, or facing the usual teenage problems? If you are a parent, then is your teenager able to cope up with the problems in his or her life?

I understand that this phase of life can be quite turbulent and is indeed a testing time for any teenager, or for that matter, even for their parents.

Even if you aren’t a teen or the parent of a teen, you were a teen once, so you too can relate to this post, isn’t it?

Teenage problems have always been there though their nature and type have gone through changes over the years.

Presently, the teenage life is marred with issues like drug abuse, violence, relationship issues, behavior problems, lack of personal finance know-how, and many others.

As a teen, are you facing any of these?

As a parent, are you troubled by your teenager’s problems?

I really feel bad for the teens and all that they undergo. Aren’t such issues too much for a person, who has just begun to understand life?

I might be wrong in my assessment, as many teenagers these days become mature before time due to their living circumstances, conditions, and lifestyle.

Some of you teenagers might say that you know the best about what to do with your life.

However, your parents and peers may not agree with you.

They would like to know if you have really developed the wisdom and the ability to discern the right from the wrong.

Are you capable enough to identify the problems and select a course to avoid them?

Perhaps some of you are, but not all of you.

I know that many teenagers fall into trouble due to ignorance and have a hard time coming out of them due to lack of awareness.

That not only wastes the crucial years of their life but also breaks them internally and fills their mind with negativity.

Hence, the reason I am writing this post, especially being a Mom of teens. 🙂

I am listing some common teenage problems along with some advice for teenagers, hoping that it helps them develop greater understanding.

Nevertheless, I would really like the adults and parents of teenagers to chip in and provide their valuable advice to the teens who are going to read this.

“I am every emotion times ten, I conform yet I’m rebellious, always obeying but somehow still an outlaw, always talking but never heard, I am a teenager.” ~ Author Unknown

What Stops Teenagers From Seeking Help

Before moving on, you should know that the main impasse is not about not knowing the problems and their solutions, but that of the teen’s attitude.

Some teenagers just do not want to change. Some just hate to make efforts to learn and improve, because they are mostly defiant and stubborn, which are typical teenage characteristics.

However, I would say that these traits, if left unresolved in the teen years, might carry on in their adult life and hamper their personal growth.

Here are a few negative self-affirmations that some teens have, which stop them from seeking help:

“I don’t need any teenage advice or lecture.”
Honestly, tell me how many of you said this line in your minds while reading this post. 🙂

Let me tell you that it’s quite normal and okay to feel this way. Not everybody likes to be told what to do, and it’s difficult to accept mistakes and shortcomings.

But you need to drop your resistance and accept the teachings of the experienced and the learned for your own advantage and benefit.

There should be no shame, nor should you feel low and bad about it. In fact, learning from others is a sign that you’re smart.

Taking advice from those who have crossed the same path isn’t a bad idea at all. If you do that, it will be an indication that you are actually growing up.

“It is my life.”
Yes, of course, it is!

As a teenager, you want to live your life, enjoy it the way you want, create your own world of fantasy, and make your own rules.

That’s great! Then why should this bother anybody?

Well, it does if what you do eventually harms you or others, in some way or the other.

Parents, teachers and elders are often bothered about what the teens are doing because they are concerned.

It’s because of their accumulated experience over the years that they know what things might cause problems, and what kind of problems are really bad that should be avoided by the teens at any cost.

Though it is your life, the elders have the moral responsibility to make you aware of the right path and let you know if you deviate from it.

“I will learn from my own experience.”
Without a doubt, there is no better learning than self-learning. But it’s smart and wise to learn from the experience of others and save your time and effort – isn’t it?

It’s not that you as a teen should not be allowed to commit mistakes at all; of course, lessons learned by stumbling and rising up again help you a lot.

However, nobody wants the teens to stumble and fall into deeper problems from where there is no return or the recovery becomes tough.

I feel that while teens have the right to live their way, they should have the courtesy and patience to accept the suggestions of their parents and elders as they are often in good faith.

Nevertheless, parents should refrain from imposing their will and decisions on the teens.

They need to understand the teenagers and their frame of mind and offer suggestions after having a realistic idea of their teen’s life situation.

Here are some of the problems that teenagers face in their life. Given along with them are some suggestions, which I hope can help the teenagers overcome their problems.

“It is hard to convince a high-school student that he will encounter a lot of problems more difficult than those of algebra and geometry.” ~ Edgar W. Howe

Common Teenage Problems That You Should Know

Let me ask the teenagers directly – what do they feel about themselves, their life, and the problems that they face.

I am not talking about the mood swings that all teenagers go through, frequent anger outbursts, and the rebellious or bad behavior exhibited by them at times.

Such actions and behaviors may have biological or emotional reasons. Read my post – How to Cope With Teenage Mood Swings, to know more about them.

In the post, you will know exactly why teenagers have mood swings and difficulty in controlling their emotions. You will also understand the reasons for identity crises that the teens undergo.

Scientists report that one of the reasons for teenage problems is the incomplete development (at that age) of the brain portion responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and judgment making.

This, however, does not give you the liberty to create problems. The way to develop the above-mentioned qualities is by exercising control over your mind.

These all are certainly some of the factors of teenage problems, but here let’s discuss the main problems teens face, shall we?

Teenage Drug Abuse

teenage drug abuse by smoking marijuana

Not only in America but all over the world, high school students are more hooked on to marijuana than drinking alcohol.

This makes the situation worse as marijuana impacts the brain directly. It’s purely self-harm due to ignorance.

The irony is that many teens consider marijuana and drugs like ecstasy as fun, tamer, effective, good for mental focus, and above all, not harmful.

Teenagers are widely abusing prescription painkiller drugs and using legal substitutes.

Most teenagers start on these drugs just for the sake of curiosity and experimentation, or because they see others do it and consider it a norm that they have to follow.

However, for many of them it costs their life.

Statistics reveal that people who started substance abuse in their teen years became addicted by the time they became adults and harmed their life in many ways, including damaging their relationships.

Teen Advice: These so-called “soft” drugs can in no way be an excuse for you to stay away from the “hard” drugs like cocaine and heroin.

What you need to do is to say NO to drugs completely.

There is no drug that you can label as “safe”. Furthermore, why do drugs at all?

Remember, all substances including alcohol, marijuana, tobacco etc., have an adverse impact on your cognitive and emotional development. In short, they do you more harm than good.

You may feel happier and on a high at that moment, but that happiness is short-lived – very dependent on the drug, and comes with many side effects and harmful disadvantages.

Instead, you can opt to work on personal development and achieve long-term happiness.

If you are undergoing stress and trauma, then there are other ways to relieve stress using your senses, instead of looking for solutions in materialistic things and substances.

You have all the solution within you – only if you care to know yourself. 🙂

Teenage Love

teenager girl in love problem being abused

Love is at the base of every healthy relationship though scientists say that teen love is complicated.

Teenage love is generally a result of the mixture of chemical and hormonal changes that occur in the body.

Not to mention that there’s also a desire to follow the romantic ideals from novels, movies, or even real life, and the curiosity to experience and experiment love.

Some teenagers also have love affairs simply to compete or show off because they are jealous of their friends having affairs. Whereas, some just don’t want to be the odd one out in their group.

Such relationships are tricky because you tend to rush into them without carefully knowing the person.

One of the pitfalls of such a relationship is that the other person starts controlling, or forces you to do things against your wish.

Many teens suffer abuse in their relationships, though they are not able to assess and understand the abuse. The abuse can be emotional, physical, sexual, financial, and social.

They may be so psyched and blinded that they drop their guard, disbelieve their doubts, and become dependent on their partner.

Other factors that lead to problems in teenage love are lack of maturity, commitment, reciprocation, and self-worth, apart from cheating and infatuation.

How do you assess yourself?

I know falling in love as a teenager is exciting. However, what feels like love, may not really be love – so be careful!

Teen Advice: There are numerous reports of teen dating abuse and violence. That is the beginning of a potentially dangerous relationship, which should be avoided.

Even if you believe that your boyfriend or girlfriend who is hurting you – loves you, it’s not a healthy relationship, so avoid it.

Do not accept abuse in any form. Have high self-esteem and rethink of the relationship that becomes a burden or a drag.

Teen relationships and the teens themselves are continually growing and changing, and that’s one reason such relationships don’t last long.

Remember that your first love in your teens, might be ruled by your hormones and not by your heart, and it may be difficult for you to tell the difference. So, watch each step you tread!

Teenage Pregnancy

girl suffering from teenage pregnancy

One of the worst things that can happen to a teenage girl is to get pregnant without getting married. There goes all your fun and independence.

You soon realize that having a love affair and sex in your teenage years is not always cool and nothing to experiment.

It could result in teenage pregnancy, which forces many teen mothers to drop out of school. How would that affect your life and future?

Not only biologically and medically, but teenage pregnancy also has socioeconomic repercussions, because raising a baby requires finances and support.

There is also a psychological impact on the teen mother as her life would drastically change and she might have a difficult time adjusting to it.

Since there is a large probability of teen mothers giving birth to premature babies, it aggravates the problems for them, and the development of the child.

Moreover, according to statistics – 8 out of 10 teen dads don’t marry the teen mother. Therefore, if you don’t take precautions, it’s going to be a lone battle with life.

Teen Advice: There are only two logical options to avoid teenage pregnancy – avoid having sexual intercourse, and even if you do, always use contraceptives as a precautionary measure.

This awareness could save you the additional problems for a lifetime.

Don’t succumb to any kind of pressure and learn to say NO if you don’t feel comfortable about having sex. It is YOUR life – don’t let anyone rule over it!

Teen boys should also understand the grave implications involved in having sex. They need to act responsibly and always use protection.

Teen dads cannot get away from the problems that the teen mothers face, and teen boys have to take up the responsibility if they get a teen girl pregnant.

I’d personally suggest you to exercise control and patience as you’ll get many opportunities later in life to discover and experience your sexuality.

Teenage Violence

girl with a gun in teen violence

Anger is a major negative characteristic of the teenage years. Teenagers easily get upset, and they are unable to control their negative feelings in most of the cases.

Teen violence is a harmful behavior that can occur in the form of bullying, fighting, cyber bullying, and using weapons that also leads to school shootings, besides sexual assault and murder.

Such actions not only cause you physical harm but also leave you with a deep emotional scar that can last a lifetime and ruin your life.

Peer pressure, friendship with antisocial and delinquent peers, and membership in a gang are some of the factors that encourage teen violence.

A violent teenager is likely to undergo other teenage problems too including drug or alcohol abuse, and depression.

Teen Advice: You should understand your own reasons for getting angry and try to avoid such situations or conditions. If you cannot, then you can best try controlling your reactions.

Don’t be impulsive. Instead, try to seek the help of your parents or teachers to resolve your anxiety and frustration.

Try to understand that anger is a ‘cover up’ or mask for your feelings of fear, shame, frustration, embarrassment, and others. You need to learn to cope with them.

Release your negative energy and feelings of anger through positive means such as sports, games, running, painting, listening to music, meditation, yoga, or any other hobby.

Don’t choose anger as a way to assert your independence and to find your own identity – this mostly backfires. Anger will make you helpless and lose control, with no positive outcome.

Reduce your exposure to TV, Internet, video games. Spend more time on exercising, eating right, leading a healthy lifestyle, getting enough sleep, and finding a good way of entertainment.

Teenage Depression

Girl sitting with teenage depression

Almost everybody undergoes a low phase in life when sadness prevails, but it’s mostly temporary. Depression is the state when you feel too low and sad for a long period.

You may feel like no one understands you and that you will never be happy again. You lose heart and don’t feel like doing anything, and harbor the feelings of being worthless and incapable.

Such thoughts and feelings affect your studies as your grades suffer. There is a lack of concentration and motivation, and you feel drained off energy most of the time.

You are flawed with negative feelings, moods, and thoughts. You could become so overwhelmed with your helplessness that you think of harming yourself, or committing suicide in some cases.

Teenage suicide can be prevented if teenagers are given timely help and support to overcome their sadness.

Sometimes even if your parents, elders, teachers, and friends want to help you, they cannot do so until you open up and share your thoughts and feelings with them.

Teen Advice: Do away with alcohol or drugs, if you are using them because they can sometimes magnify and take your negative or sad feelings to extremes.

You are not able to be yourself when you are under the influence of such toxic substances.

Keep away from bad company and from those who make you feel low and dejected. Seek the help of your parents, good friends, close relatives, and confide in them.

If you have suicidal tendencies and find no one to share and talk to, call the suicide helpline. You will find good listeners there who can also help you understand yourself and solve your problems.

Remember that the dark clouds of negative thoughts will soon pass by. You need to be brave, hold on to yourself, engage yourself in positive activities, listen to motivational stuff, and never be alone.

Always share, keep communicating, force yourself to go out, and believe in yourself so you don’t lose control of your mind.

You will be back to normal in no time. 🙂

“I think the hardest part about being a teenager is dealing with other teenagers – the criticism and the ridicule, the gossip and rumors.” ~ Beverley Mitchell

These were a few common teenage problems, but I know there are many other problems that a teenager faces in life, which I will be discussing in my future posts.

If you are going through some of these teenage problems or are aware of your friends going through any of them, then do share in the comments to help others in a similar situation.

No matter what, I would say that always have a positive attitude to accept change and learn to improve, besides having this belief ingrained in your mind that every problem has a solution.

Don’t hesitate to seek help and suggestion from your peers, elders, parents, and teachers. Each one of them has gone through this phase of life, and every word of advice counts.

Keep yourself educated and aware of the various problems that a teenager faces in life.

There’s no denying the fact that part of the responsibility of the teenage problems lies with their parents or caretakers.

They need to spot the problems early, create an amicable environment, be good role models, and act with wisdom and compassion.

Even if you don’t get the ideal parental support, shed your ignorance in spite of all odds by accessing information as in this post to make yourself aware and avoid the typical teen problems.

Prove that you are a smart teenager by avoiding these problems in your life. 🙂

“How strange that the young should always think the world is against them – when in fact that is the only time it is for them.” ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Over To You –

As a teenager, how do you tackle your teen problems? If you are an adult or a parent, what would you suggest to the teenagers and proactively do yourself to not let such teenage problems arise at all. Discuss and share in the comments.

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos

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  1. Very clearly define all teenage problems. Teenage life is little complicated without problems. Teenagers should avoid such a problems and make a healthy relationships. Such a wonderful post!

  2. My 3 kids have all grown up and moved on but I can relate to much of your post. Thanks for sharing. Lately, I’ve found that writing stories about our lives together as been a fun way for us to connect about how I was as a parent and how they were as teenagers!

    Thanks for your great post.

    1. Welcome to the blog Suzette!

      Nice to know that you’ve grown up kids, which is all the more reason you’d be able to throw more light on such a subject 🙂

      I agree with you there – I think when we share our own life experiences it works out best, and perhaps being a parent of grown-up kids can give you lots to share about too, isn’t it?. It’s also nice if we can give back something more to our readers so that they can learn and take back something from this post because at times our experience isn’t all that much.

      Thanks for stopping by, and do visit again 🙂

  3. HI Harleena,

    I am neither in teenage nor a mother of teenage kid but yes in future I’ll be a mother of teenage daughter (currently she is just 1.5 year old).
    After reading your article I can imagine that how difficult it is to handle a teenage kid.

    1. Welcome to the blog Devya!

      That is indeed a sweet age, and yes, you do have some time before your daughter becomes a teenager, though I’m sure you can relate to these teenage problems as you were too a teenager once, isn’t it? But yes, I do hope no teenager ever has to come across such problems in their lives, yet if they do, I hope they can take something from this post, which was written with an aim to help them and their parents, if required. Yes, parenting is NOT easy, and I think right from the time a child is born, till the time they grow up, and even after they are married off, where does the worry of parents ever end 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  4. As a parent of three I never experienced any such problems, thank God. I have always tried to live as my childrens friend but realised also that this is not cool if done too obviously.

    Many have commented that children mature more quickly these days. Outwardly and physically they seem to but there is no way to short-cut through the emotional and the accompanying physiological steps of development through which we all passed on our way to proper maturity – if we ever got there!! falling in love is a good example. People of 15 or 65 behave in the same ‘strange’ ways.

    I was always comforted to discover that my child – male or female – had someone sensible in whom to confide be it at school or work. this is a role we can all be sensitive to providing to those around us, once again not done too obviously.

    1. Welcome to the blog Joe!

      You are indeed lucky, but these are actually major problems and not all parents of teens go through these, though there are many other teenage issues that teenagers face, which I’d be taking up in my future posts 🙂

      I agree with you there – to a certain extent, being a friend with your kid’s IS essential, but they must know who to listen to as well. Yes indeed, kids and teens are maturing up much earlier than their age, though there are a lot of reasons and factors for that. Yes, it’s almost like children and older lots behave the same way, there is a stage they do!

      Yes indeed, giving that emotional security to our kid’s that we are there, is essential, though not making it too obvious as you mentioned, lest they take advantage of that.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post. 🙂

      BTW- Do get a Gravatar so that we know who we are talking to as your picture would show up next to your name that ways. Just a friendly suggestion 🙂

  5. Very needy discussion for parents. Teenage problems should be handled carefully by parents. In place of forcing them to follow parent’s path make them feel & decide what is good for them.

    1. Welcome to the blog Mark!

      Glad you liked this much needed discussion, which is for both, parents and their teens 🙂

      I agree with you there, any kind of teenage issues must be handled with utmost care. I guess parents need to communicate their feelings and vice-versa so that the teens know they have their parents with them, no matter what. Yes, there should be no forcing of any kind at all.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  6. Oh boy Harleena this takes me back!

    When I was growing up my daughter, the one important factor during her teen years was communication. I told her that no matter what, she can always come to me for help.

    One day, she experimented with alcohol. I was out and told her no one could come over the house. When I returned there were 15 boys (some older than her) in my home. I reacted but then realized that these boys had taken her home because she drank too much. These boys were her friends and knew my rules. They didn’t want to leave her alone in case of alcohol poisoning. They took care of her until I returned. Well, we took her to the hospital, but she was fine.

    For weeks she asked me what was her punishment. I told her that she already had her punishment by being so sick. She never drank that much again.

    The hardest thing I ever had to do was learn “tough love” because I just didn’t know how to do that. So I took classes, and when she started to get out of control, I would stand my ground.

    We as parents are responsible for our teens. If we don’t know how to handle a situation, we have to get out there and learn how to do it the best way we can.

    Now, that she is older, she appreciates the reigns I put on her. Of course she couldn’t see it then, but she sees it now.


    1. Hi Donna,

      Yes, it does take one back in time, doesn’t it? 🙂

      That’s the best thing you did as a parent I think, and even your daughter must have loved that coming from you. It’s SO important to keep those channels of communication always open between parents and kid’s, teens more so. At least they know they have someone to go back home to and share things with, whether in need or even otherwise.

      Oh dear…it must’ve been shocking to see her take alcohol and be home with so many boys, but I’m glad you handled the situation so well. I’m glad it didn’t get to a worse state, because such things can be the trigger points for something really bad if not controlled in time, isn’t it?

      I’m just glad that my kid’s are far off from any of these, or perhaps the culture this end has an important role to play, though in the metros things are pretty much the same or perhaps worse.

      Standing your ground when and if required IS essential, even though they know we are with them. Sometimes you need to become a disciplinary rather than a friendly parent with your teens, so that they learn and don’t go astray.

      I agree with you, and being parents, we need to take care. If we can’t, we need to find ways or seek help to handle our teens and such teenage problems, if and when they occur, or prepare our teens just incase they come across such issues in their lives.

      Oh yes…realization always comes in later, though I’m glad at least they realize things 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us, which I’m sure would help many teens and their parents. 🙂

  7. Hello Harleena,

    I always love your post and should come by more. I am working on my own site and sometime I feel their is not enough time in the day to do all I need to do. Anyway, I will try to do better.

    Wonderful post, I am a older mother but my children are very young and I do wonder about their futures as teenagers. I remember when I was a teenager, I knew my parents did not understand me or even try to listen to what I have to say. One, because my mother was a teenager when she had me and two, she just did not know how to relate.

    I pray that teenagers will be able to communicated with their parents more, but it start from a young age. Parents please don’t want until you children are teenagers to start communicating with them. Also, Harleena, as you stated in your post they will learn from their mistakes be it good or bad.

    Blessings always in all that you do.


    1. Welcome to the blog Elissa!

      Thank you for saying that, and yes, you must come more often. I can understand how things get when you are just starting off with your own site, having gone through it all myself 🙂

      Nice to know more about you and your kids. I’m sure, unlike your Mom, you’d make a wonderful mother because you wouldn’t want to repeat the same things with your kids. Perhaps your mother was too young that time to understand things herself to be able to explain them to you, thus perhaps couldn’t relate. I guess you have an added advantage there.

      I agree with you there – the channels of communication must remain open right from the time they are kid’s and not after they become teens, so that by the time they are teens, they become more of friend’s with you and are willing to share anything with you. Yes indeed, sometimes even when parents want to convey the right from wrong to them, they just won’t listen until and unless they go through things themselves, while the wiser lots (which are rare!) will listen and take cues.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂

  8. Great round up of tips for parents. I have a fifteen year old, and though he’s a good kid, I still worry. We do our best to talk with him and his younger brother about pitfalls like these that often trip up teens. Just keeping my fingers crossed that it’s working!

    1. Hi Carol – nice to have you back 🙂

      Glad you liked the post and could relate to it too 🙂

      I can well understand that or perhaps that’s a normal feeling for parents of teen because you never know what happens when. It’s something I also wonder about my kids at times. Yes, healthy and open communication is essential I feel, more so with teens, who otherwise tend to keep themselves bottled up. Yes, fingers and toes, both crossed 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views 🙂

  9. Hi Harleena,

    I finally made it to your blog. 🙂

    I’m actually in my bed reading my friends blogs. All I did today was write…write…write… I actually got 3 different topics writing altogether at least 2000+ words. So I’m working on forming new habits.

    Well, all the things you mentioned here are true. I wish my daughter is reading this now. But she’s got her mind set on other things. When she was 14 she wants to be 26 soon. She’s always rushing. I said to her, “Don’t rush the time. When you get 40, you wish you’re 20 again. So enjoy now.”

    Like you said, what some teens think it’s the love is not love at all. What I often tell my daughters are, “What you feel when you were 16 is not the same feeling when you get 26, 36, or 56…because we are constantly changing. What you think when you were young will not be the same when you are old.”

    Feelings are fickled and unreliable…

    Love is not based on just feelings alone. But it is based on principles and commitment.

    Love is a decision.

    Why teenagers do exactly just the opposite what you just explained to them NOT what to do. Why do they try to reinvent the wheel of trying to solve their problems when all they need to do is LEARN from people who made same mistakes. Why take the hard path?

    “Let me make my own mistake and learn from it.” Why? Do you think you’re different from others and will shed new lights if you go through the rough road and make your own mistakes? Why?

    Why don’t you want to listen to your parents? to your elders? who’s got their best interest at heart for your sake?

    Why? *shakes head*

    My heart grieved for stubborn teenagers who does not give heed to words of wisdom. They are like a walking light bulb, foolish, waiting to get screwed.

    Anyway…Great article for teenagers!

    I hope a lot of teenagers out there will be reached and touched by this writing.

    Have a great evening.


    1. Hi Angela,

      Nice to have you back – I know we are all so busy, so no worries at all. 🙂

      Awesome indeed! I can well relate to the writing part because that’s all I do myself too, but I also count my comments in writing because of the great length they run into, just like yours! So, we shouldn’t forget our comments as they are over and above the normal word we write, isn’t it? 🙂

      Ah…I don’t know about other teens for whom this post was mainly written, which includes my own, but knowing them, it’s the last thing they’d like to lay their eyes on – so you’re not alone! It’s just what Ashutosh was also mentioning that teens are always in a rush and they feel they’ve got a lot to do so try to handle a lot of things together, not realizing that they are missing so much by not living in the moment or enjoying their age now. Perhaps it’s the lives they lead that are pretty hectic and the pressure to keep up with their friend’s or the thoughts about what others may think about them keep them in such a confused state most of the time.

      Love is often that teens never understand though they all feel they do! No matter what you might explain or tell them, they ALL feel they ARE in love and it’s true and their only love…ah…how I wish they would think more sensibly. Yet, as parents we know they will come across this phase and will pass over it too, though they need to be dealt with care and explained everything well in details, before they create major problems for themselves.

      Teenagers rarely listen to their parents or elders and they DO learn from their mistakes. Most of them like to take their own decisions and learn their own way. I also wish it wasn’t like that and if we could just put some sense into them that it’s wise to learn from those who have gone through the same path, rather than get hurt and go through the pain and trauma and then realize things. But what’s destined to happen will happen, and you nor me can really do anything much other than just be there for them if they need us, though keep guiding them patiently with the hope that they just might listen one fine day.

      Thanks for stopping by and adding so much more to the post with your valuable comment. Yes, I do hope this post helps teens and their parents in more way than one, and I’m sure it will with wonderful parents like yourself to throw more light on this subject. Have a nice weekend 🙂

  10. Great article with wonderful tips for every teenager, Harleena! My elder daughter is about to reach her teenage years. Already I am seeing signs of emotional swings. I was not quite sure what to do initially. However, I soon realized how important it is to help her learn how to master her emotions and to cope with stress. I try to keep the communication lines open so that she knows that she can turn to her parents when she is in trouble or needs help. It has been quite a journey being a parent, I must say!

    1. Hi Evelyn,

      Glad you liked the tips shared here and I hope your teens never have to use these in their lives 🙂

      Ah…mood swings, just as I was telling Sue, are so very normal and they occur mainly due to the hormonal changes that teens go through. I agree with you, being parents we need to just guide and be there for them because they DO go through a lot of changes in this phase of their life. You are doing the right thing by keeping your channels of communication open with her, which she must be appreciating. Oh yes…parenting is NO easy task – ask me about it! But yet we love it, don’t we? 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing more about your kids with us. 🙂

  11. Hi Harleena

    Wow you have done an amazing job in this post as this is a difficult topic. All of the problems are there for sure and it is a difficult time for both teenagers and the parents of them.

    I have 3 step children and one daughter of my own. All are now grown up but it was not without the pain of this period of life.

    All 4 went through mood swings. That is normal. 3 if them were very conscientious as school and this helped at least keep them at home doing homework more than out partying.

    My youngest step son was the one was the difficult one. He did get into drugs and drug related activities. He was living with my husbands first wife and she would call us in the middle of the night in panic. It was a horrible time. I am pleased to say he is now in a long term relationship with two children of his own. He is a very hands on father so it is a joy to see the turn around.

    My eldest stepson met his wife at high school and they have been together ever since.

    So children even with the same upbringing and circumstances do not always make the same choices.

    I think there is a added pressure now with social media for young people.

    Thanks for an amazing stark look at the problems that face teenagers today Harleena.


    1. Hi Sue,

      Glad you liked the post, and thank you for your kind words of appreciation. 🙂

      You would actually be the perfect person to throw more light on these teenage issues having 4 kids who went through this same phase. I’m sure they never went through all of these issues but there are so many smaller teenage problems that our teens phase – it really saddens me at times.

      Ah…mood swings are so-so normal, and I guess as parents we need to work our way about them when they are in their good moods! Sorry to hear about your youngest step son, though glad that he’s through that tough time and enjoying fatherhood now. Perhaps being that young and not having his parents living together might have had a psychological impact on him, which might have led him to drugs – anything is possible.

      You are absolutely right – children raised the same way might turn out to be so different and you’ve seen that with your own kids, which is the case in a majority of cases. Oh yes…social media and the Internet can have a lot of pressure on our teens and also create a lot of problems for them.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences and wisdom with us. 🙂

  12. Hi Harleena,

    A very nice topic in need of attention and you have done justice to it by discussing the problems of teens from a wide angle. It is an age of experimentation and every teenage wants to experience everything in a very short span of time. Most of the time, they think that whatever they have learnt from their life is enough to handle the future.

    I believe the problems aren’t about a person but about the age and we can’t deny that we all have behaved similarly in our teenage. It is important that we don’t get lost while experimenting but learn and move ahead positively towards good aspects of life.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts about such an interesting topic and I am sure it is going to help all of us.

    1. Hi Ashutosh – nice to have you back 🙂

      Yes indeed, I felt strongly about it, perhaps because of my own kids who are teenagers now and also because one keeps reading and seeing so much about such teenage problems all over.

      You are so right there – that’s exactly what they feel that they are big enough to handle it all. And they are forever in a rush to try new things, without giving it a deep thought that where it would lead them.

      We were very different I’d say, but as the generations change, things change and I just fear what our grandchildren will be like! We as parents need to keep our teens with us, no matter what and be there to guide them. Agreed, they will experiment and try out things that perhaps they shouldn’t, but if as parents we know what’s going to happen, we can prepare them of the consequences in adavnce, which might help them in some way, isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing your thoughts 🙂

      1. Yes Harleena. You are absolutely right, we must help them to know in advance about the result of their course of action.

        In fact, during one of my research papers on Digital Divide, I came with some documents mentioning that the brain circuitry in today’s generation is different from us. It might also be one of the reasons behind the difference in their behaviour as they are more exposed to the technology these days.

        1. Absolutely Ashutosh!

          Though parents try to do that, very few teens really listen to them I’d say. Oh yes…those papers are absolutely correct about the exposure to technology, which could be a reason of their behavior, while some other studies also indicate it’s the enviornment that plays a role, so one really can’t say. Being parents and caretakers, we just have to ensure that we do our best to guide them it the best way, isn’t it?

          Thanks once again 🙂

  13. Hi Harleena,

    Shouldn’t we expect this post from you? 😉 I don’t know how parents with teenagers may feel about this, but I went through as a teenager.

    When I was a teenager, all I knew about unspoken teenage love which made ’em all philosophers 😀 Anyway, few of friends had partners too. Had no sad news about pregnancy or drug abuse though. May be as they were most criticized subjects in the society.

    We may get utmost care since we born, but I really believe teenage years are when parents need to recall their own teenage years and be more close to their children. Isn’t it Harleena? Things happening at that time will deep seated in their hearts.

    As a teenager, I used to judge how much they do love and care about what I feel. Parents do care, but teenage years are expecting more than usual attention as they starting to explore the outer World and get confused by things happening around ’em. Especially in little things. Well, little for parents but not for teenagers. Else, they might reach out someone else for advises. You know, some teenagers can be convinced easily if you know how. I wish if parents knew all those tricks.

    I like the negative self-affirmations you pointed out Harleena 🙂 I think they are directly relates to their feeling being neglected. Is it? They might be thinking “If my parents can’t care when I need ’em, why should I listen to ’em at all?”.

    Drugs and sex are hot topics on the table which freaks me out when I think of future. When I heard of teens who addicted to drugs, I feel so sad Harleena. Sometimes I feel angry with their parents for not taking necessary actions when they could.

    I think, Internet can be a starting point leading to feel great about having sex before marriage dear. Sex is overrated on Internet and misguided in many sites. Even justify bad habits including violence. If you take a look at online forums such as Yahoo answers, many users recommend bad habits and even they pop up in 1st pages of Google search results too. It takes some time for teens to understand that porn movies are being directed. Sometimes, even adults can’t understand that too.

    Usually teens don’t reach out their parents on these stuff, so their main source is Internet or their friends. I think schools should act before that and offer formal education about sex before they fall into wrong information Harleena. With smartphones in their hands, they are exposed to whole lot of stuff.

    Wonderful topic that I can talk even more dear 😉 It just worries me and teen lives shouldn’t be ruined. I think it’s enough for now 😀 lol…

    You have a fabulous week there dear 🙂


    1. Hi Mayura,

      Did you guess that I would be soon writing about this topic? I know you can so well relate to his having just crossed your teen years too. 🙂

      Lol… yes, teens are struck by love at that age and most tend to become philosophers, and you are right as parents we need to remember our time when we were teens and bond better with our kids. However, our times were much better than the times nowadays and all that the teens undergo. I do feel bad for them, but such is life.

      There are only some teens who really care about the feelings of their parents, or perhaps they want to have it all their way and not listen to their parents and this can turn out to be pretty bad too at times. Yes, they don’t really want to take the advice of parents or their elders because they feel that what they are doing is the right thing, which might not be so. They need to understand that parents mean well for them, but as you pointed out, sometimes when parents don’t listen to their teens at all, the teens too become defiant and say why should we listen to our parents. It shouldn’t be this way ideally because parents have their reasons perhaps for not listening to you, if they mean well, for which teens need to talk out and discuss with them, isn’t it?

      I agree with you there – all these teenage problems are what most teens and their parents ARE going through nowadays. To some extent it’s the parents’ responsibility, but we can’t really blame them entirely too because what teens pick up from their friends or other people we can’t really say. Yes, parents need to guide them in the right direction and always support them, and if they aren’t doing that, then that’s bad for sure.

      I agree with you there- teens are often misled about a lot of things on the Internet, or they tend to visit sites and come in contact with people who aren’t going to have a positive impact on them. Oh yes…sometimes forums are pretty bad and it makes me wonder too how Google puts them all on the 1st page and that’s the most clickable link as well.

      I guess such talks are taboo or forbidden in most families or they know their parents won’t reply to their questions even if they ask them. Yes, they prefer the company of their friends and have easy access to the Internet for finding about things, which is most of the time half-baked information that’s more harmful. Sex education was supposed to have started off in schools, and there was a lot of talk about it, but just like other things it also died it’s own death. Oh yes… Smartphones should be banned for teens I feel or parents should keep a complete eye on their activities because where they might slip, you can never know. I’ve to keep a strict watch on mine too 🙂

      I know you’re at that age where you’ve just crossed your teens (I think), so you’ve so much to share on this topic. If you have more to share, please feel free to do so because we all love to hear from you, more so, because you’ve experienced what it’s like to be a teenager. I do hope this post helps parents and teenagers to take timely action before it’s too late, and if things do get out of hand they are able to support their teens.

      Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. Have a nice weekend 🙂

      1. Hi Harleena,

        As you start talking about teenagers, I thought you will, but not this sooner though 😉

        Here, elders always tend to talk like that too ~ “Our times were much better than the times nowadays” 😉 But I find it as an excuse for them too. Especially, when they don’t do anything about it. Anyway, I know you are aware of what’s happening around the World and do take necessary action as a mother 🙂

        Today I’ve watched a movie ~ “Disconnect”. I think it’s a wonderful movie for parents, as it shows some things that children will never talk with their parents.

        Even parents do think that they care their children, it may not true from the point of view of children. I think it’s much better if both parities can communicate and share their thoughts 🙂 Well, without forcing ’em to open up.

        Even innocent children can be victims, not because of their faults but due to people they come across. Being anonymous is just easy for anyone online. Such incidents are happening online and everyday. I’m sure you even heard of such stories too Harleena 🙂


        1. Hi Mayura,

          Yes, our times were different…and at times I find myself rather antique when I compare myself or see other teens around me 🙂

          But yes, as a mother one’s got to be aware and alert ALL the time. Ah..nice that you saw that movie – I’ve only heard about it, and it seems like a nice one. Yes indeed, both parents and teens need to open up and share their feelings with each other. Parents play a major role as this needs to start with their kids right from the time they are small, so that when they become teenagers, they don’t feel forced.

          You’re right – smaller kids and tweens are very much on the list too due to who they might start trusting and become friends with. It’s a very bad world out there if parents and kids aren’t careful and in it together. But if parents take a little more control of things, a lot of such issues can be tackled, isn’t it?

          Thanks once again 🙂

  14. You pick all the easy topics for your blog posts, don’t you, Harleena?!

    This brought back lots of painful memories for me – I just remember being thoroughly screwed up for much of my teenage years, and quite unhappy. I was very stressed by school and the pressure of exams etc. I had relatively ‘old’ parents – my Mum was over 40 when I was born – and I think that had a big impact and made things much harder, because there was such a gulf between my parents’ generation and my own. I’d also got involved with a quite evangelical group of Christians and, in retrospect, I think this really messed me up, for many years. I’m still in touch with one or two friends from those days, who have retained their faith, and I respect that, but it wasn’t right for me. It makes me think of the young people who get drawn into extremist sects in other religions. You’re very impressionable at that age, easily influenced, and I think teenagers need to be wary of any extreme pressure groups, of all persuasions.

    I’m glad I’m not a teenager today – I think the pressures on them are immense. I read a very alarming article the other week about the pressure on girls to conform to a very rigid set of ‘norms’ as regards their physical appearance (skinny, straight hair, flawless skin, waxed within an inch of their lives etc.) – apparently they spend an absolute fortune on cosmetics and hours and hours making themselves up in order to look just right. How depressing is that?

    I’m not sure what advice I’d give, because the challenges teenagers face are just so complicated – I guess the main thing is they need support to discover themselves, to find their strengths and what’s going to fulfil them. Ironically, although teenagers are supposed be rebellious, I think the main problem they face is pressure to conform to the expectations of their peers. They need permission to be themselves and help to avoid the really serious dangers, like drugs and teenage pregnancy, which could end up scarring them for life – or, worst case scenario, bringing their young lives to a premature end.

    Sorry if that’s a bit rambling and grim, Harleena – I’m sure your post and the other great comments here will be a big help to any teenagers who stop by to have a read.

    1. Hi Sue,

      Ah…easy one indeed! Didn’t it remind you of your time? But I think we were so much better off than the teens nowadays, weren’t we?

      Sorry to hear about your teen years, which I feel had their share of ups and downs. Oh yes.. the exam pressure and stress were always there and I just wished it was simpler for us, though when I see kid’s nowadays and the amount they have to cope up I thank my lucky stars that we didn’t have to go through all of that our time!

      I can understand the generation gap, and that does have an effect on how kids are raised – something that we can’t really control. The wrong kind of friend’s or bad company is something I can relate to as well as I’ve relatives whose children are the same way, and it took a lot of hard work and effort for the parents to get them away from such a company. I agree with you there, teens need to be wary of joining groups or gangs that might harm them but the sad part is that they don’t realize this until it’s too late, and few kids really listen to their parents nowadays.

      You’re right – teenage girls DO all of what you mentioned and the pressure comes from their own group of friend’s surprisingly. I am glad my kid’s are away from all of that, which happens only when parents intervene and calm them down by letting them know that such things aren’t important in life. I can SO well relate to them spending on the cosmetics and other accessories too – I need to literally stop mine from going overboard so many times, but now they understand.

      Your advice is very valuable Sue, and as you rightly mentioned, they need our full help and support, and mainly guidance so that they don’t go the wrong way. And even if they do, we are always there for them – this belief is something that helps them I think because being teens we know they are bound to commit mistakes. However, as elders we need to guide them and make them realize that all is not lost in such a way that they take lessons and don’t commit the same mistakes again.

      I wish these teenage problems as mentioned in the post aren’t something that teens come across in their lives, but if they do have these issues, I hope this post helps them or their parents overcome them.

      No rambling at all – you know I love to hear from you and you are always welcome to express yourself here anytime. Yes indeed, I did want us all to share our views so that teens or their parents can take the required help from it and use it in their life.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your pearls of wisdom with us. Have a nice week ahead 🙂

  15. Hi Harleena,

    This was a wonderful and powerful post. I could sense your words were straight from your heart.

    One point of advice I would like to add for teens is to be brave and not be afraid of letting go of friends who essentially are not going anywhere in life. Such teens will only bring down teens who are good deep down. I had to leave a group of friends like this when I realised they were not really friends.

    Thank you.

    1. Hi Hiten,

      Thank you so much for saying that, and yes, they sure were, or perhaps I was concerned for all teens and their parents, being a Mom to two of them myself 🙂

      You mentioned a very important point, and thanks for adding that up here. This is exactly what I’ve been telling my kid’s to keep them away from bad company, which most teens don’t realize till it’s too late. Perhaps they want to remain in the good books of their so called friends, but they don’t know how they get involved into such teen issues. My hubby too talks about his college days where like you, he also made a delierate effort to leave such friend’s because he realized the harm they were causing him.

      Thanks for stopping by and adding such an important point to the post 🙂

  16. Being a Teen is the biggest problem where we will have an tendency to do different things which are bad to us. We will know it bad but yet we will be more eager to know what it is and how it will be.

    1. Welcome to the blog Shathyan!

      Absolutely! That might be because as a teen, you are exposed to different friends who might be doing such things, or perhaps teenagers themselves like to try new things just for fun sake. I guess they don’t tend to realize the harm it can cause them in the long run – isn’t it?

      Yes indeed, teenagers like to experiment things on their own I think, and no matter how much elders guide them, very few really listen! If they did, they would be away from lots of such teen problems. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views 🙂

  17. Hi Ma’am,

    Well after long i am here to show my presence because the title has attracted my intention and forced me to read each and every line of this post.

    As usual Nice write up ma’am. You were excellent in describing the teenage problems in depth with an accurate solution for it 🙂

    Yes, Every teenager will encounter every problem which you have listed in this post. MY sincere suggestion for you is i want you to write a post about problems with Teenage love.

    Every teenager will trying something new which is entirely different from their friends. They would to try different and would fail to get success !! Even though Failure teach us the way for Success. some would like to accept it!!

    Thanks for the post!! Felt really happy after reading the article !! 🙂 🙂

    1. Hi Srikanth – nice to have you back 🙂

      Glad you liked the post and could relate to it. I guess I should write attractive headlines to get people over!

      Yes indeed, these teen issues are the ones most teenagers and parents face and I hope the solutions provided helps them in some way or the other. I agree with you there, and I will be writing about ALL these teenage problems one by one, teen love included, so stay tuned 🙂

      Teens try things different from what their parents tell them, that’s for sure most of the times! But they like doing what their friend’s suggest, and sometimes that leads them in the wrong direction also, while at other times if they have a good circle of friend’s, it can help them achieve success too.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I think you might have just crossed your teen so you are able to relate so well to it, isn’t it? 🙂

  18. Great post Harleena!

    My nephew just turned 17 and started back to school. He’s a senior and an overall good kid. But like most teenagers, he has his ups and downs. I wish he’d open up more, as he tends to keep his feelings bottled up. My niece is the same way. Talking it out, even with a friend, is better than keeping everything inside.

    My advice to teens is to find someone, a friend, sibling, teacher, another parent, etc. to speak with about what is going on in your life. Sometimes, moms and dads aren’t the best advisors because they’re wrapped up within their own drama-rama. Having an adult, someone who’s stable and gives wise advice, in your life can do wonders for you. As a teen, I wish I had someone who I could have spoken with about what was going on in my life.

    I would also advise teens to take up a hobby or sport or even workout. These are good ways to express yourself and get negativity out of your system. Journaling helps too. 🙂

    1. Hi Amandah,

      Nice to know more about your nephew, though I already know a little about him and your niece from the earlier comments at the other posts and the wonderful role you are playing in their lives.

      Your nephew sounds like my elder one too, and opening up is something that they do when they feel like, or perhaps it’s just something they do when THEY feel like – happens rarely I know! I agree, talking it out is what works best, and I’m glad they have their friend’s to talk things over with. We do have our chat sessions, which we deliberately take out time for as a family to talk about how things are going on with them, and they do open and share things that time. Otherwise, as a parent one can make out if something is bothering them, so one asks and they share their feelings, but coming out on their own happens sometimes only.

      I agree, parents and caretakers have their own set of problems or work to do, and they aren’t able to take out time for their teens, which does lead to such problems. We need to MAKE time for them, no matter what. And if teens aren’t comfortable with their parents, then they should talk to any elder in the family – anyone who can guide them in the right direction.

      Oh yes…taking up any hobby or releasing their energy through way of sports and workouts works well – I think their mind remains diverted and they are doing good for their body as well.

      Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post 🙂

  19. Yes,most teenagers have faced this problem or shall we say situations.It is upto the parents to guide the growing up children about the ill effects.At a time,drugs was a bad word,but,you know as much as I do that drugs are easily available and the target is the teenagers,especially those,who have extra disposable income.During my last visit to Singapore,it was clear that the state was aware of and concerned about teenage pregnancy .Every MRT station had. Required information.Instead of allowing it become a social stigma,state got on to a drive to educate the teenagers.

    1. Hi BK,

      I agree with you there – parents DO play a major part in guiding their teenagers in the right direction, but as a few parents say – their teens should listen to them for that! 🙂

      Yes indeed, the drugs are available everywhere nowadays and the teenagers are often the first ones to be targeted too, which I wish wasn’t the case. As you mentioned, there’s a lot the government can do to ban drugs and other such things, if it wants to, but sadly that seems like a dream that might never come true unless some people really rise and take a strong stand.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views 🙂

  20. Good topic and a difficult one. I suppose a lot of things have been said about this topic and its an on going problem for many parents around the world. As a teenager I was not troublesome, did what I was told and simply followed the instructions. Drugs and teenage pregnancy was definitely out of the question but I can understand why it could be a concern for some parents. I liked your advice for each solution and the fact that its coming from a parent is even more important. Thank you Harleena.

    1. Hi Shalu,

      I agree, such topics aren’t easy, yet they are essential I feel for teenagers and their parents to be aware, isn’t it?

      Our times were very different I think, and like you, I was a very obedient child even in my late teens – so very different as compared to the teenagers nowadays. There was no question of doing any of these things mentioned, but these issues are the most common ones parents and teens are facing nowadays.

      I’ve tried giving solutions based on what I think as a parent, though I know there might be many better views of others, which I’d love to hear so that it helps other parents and their teenagers.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post 🙂

  21. Oh my goodness, Harleena! As the mom to three teenage daughters, I can say these are my biggest fears. I might just have nightmares tonight!

    You’re right, though. Understanding what teenagers are going through can help a parent deal with these issues and can help the teenager relate to the parent. How many teenagers in trouble complain that no one understands them? Even if we as parents don’t “get it” at least when we try, we are showing our teenagers that we love them.

    I hope you never, ever have to face any of these issues with your children, Harleena!

    1. Hi Carolyn,

      I am SO sorry if I scared you – you know I didn’t mean to do that, but just to make you and other parents a little aware of what it’s all like.

      Yes indeed, the teen years aren’t all that smooth as you already know. The teenage problems they go through can be more than meets the eye, and if we as parents can guide and support them – I think we would only making things a little easier for them, isn’t it?

      I know none of us wants our teens to go through any of these issues, and the aim of this post was to make teenagers also aware of things just in-case they get stuck or need help if they are already facing such problems.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us 🙂

  22. i believe everyone should have one or two things to say about their teens age. As for me, i think i was teenage love or so. But i was able to overcome it. This your article is just too super, because you’ve done justice to it. Thanks for the great words.

    1. Hi Asaolu,

      I’m sure everyone does have something to say, either because they have kids who are/were teens, or they are/were teens themselves 🙂

      Teen love…again most teens go through that phase, but some tend to get stuck in it while others have to be guided as to how to get out of it – they do need help and guidance in most of these teen problems.

      Thanks for stopping by and your words of appreciation. 🙂

      BTW – Do get yourself a Gravatar so that we can see who we are talking to here, just a friendly suggestion 🙂

  23. What a great post, Harleena!

    My son is 10 almost 11, so I have a couple of years left, but I so dread the teen years. I just hope am the best mom I can be. My son tells me everything right now, and doesn’t have any trouble talking about any subject matter with me. I do hope that never changes. I already tell him, though, that I am not his friend, right now. My job is to be his mother. One day when he is an adult, we’ll be friends. My Mom was the same way and we have a very close relationship. She is my best friend.

    1. Welcome to the blog Donna – good to see you here 🙂

      Ah…you just have a few years left! But I’m sure with all that you keep reading around, you’d be a great Mom to him when he’s of age 🙂

      That’s really great to know, and I hope it remains like that later too. I think a lot depends on how involved the parents are in their child’s life, which makes them share things or remain open with them even in the later years.

      It’s tough to tell your kids whether you are a Mom or a friend, though ideally you should be a perfect blend of both. Yes, my Mom was my best friend too, and I miss her a great deal.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us 🙂

  24. I am far off from my kids being teenagers but this was great advice. When I was a teenager, the thing I fought my parents on most was that I wanted to have my own experiences. Maybe if I had listened a little more it would have spared me some mistakes. Thanks for the post!

    1. Welcome to the blog Kristin!

      I can understand that – but with kids growing so fast nowadays, you never know when your young ones become teenagers 🙂

      Ah…I can relate to that too, or perhaps most teens are like that, which is natural. There are very few teens who really listen to their parents or do as they are told without creating a hue and cry, but they learn with time though.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views.

      BTW – Please do use your real name next time, it’s better to address you this way than through your blog’s name (I changed it to your name!) Also, do get yourself a Gravatar so that we can see who we are talking to here, just a few friendly suggestions 🙂

  25. Even loving families can have teen problems. Teens are so vulnerable to outside influences that we as parents have limited ability to control. I highly recommend counseling for most of these problems. It can save a life and make your own life much more manageable.

    1. Welcome to the blog Maggie!

      Oh yes…they sure can, and I think all families have teen issues sometime or the other, which is very normal. I agree, we as parents really can’t do much other than to be with them and guide them so that they aren’t hurt and remain prepared a wee bit, isn’t it?

      Counseling does help if things go overboard, or else most teenage issues can be resolved at home or through parents and family members.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post 🙂

      BTW – Do get yourself a Gravatar so that we can see who we are talking to here, just a friendly suggestion 🙂

  26. I don’t really faced much when I was a teenage but it was a story to tell despite the fact that the problem I faced were minimal. Though, this might sound so funny but the reason behind this is just; learning from experience sometimes is the best way to learn otherwise life might become unbearable and un-conducive but the experience just come like a wave tossed in the ocean.

    1. Hi Adesanmi,

      You’re lucky that you didn’t go through much of these teenage problems when you were younger, or perhaps you learnt things from experience as you mentioned. Yes, learning from your experience of from those of others is the thing that helps you achieve success in the long run.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views. 🙂

  27. Very nice and excellent post Harleena.

    These points should be followed by every parent and child. Anyway I too have a problem with anger. Anyway i will overcome it. Will follow your tips to.
    Thanks again for your useful articles.

    1. Welcome to the blog Srikar!

      Glad you liked the post, and yes, every teenager and his/her parent should try to understand each other and face such teenage problems together. Ah…anger has its drawbacks and with teens it’s common. Yes, I’m sure you’d be able to overcome it once you know that it IS a problem. Try meditation – it does help 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views 🙂

  28. I am also in my late teen years and I can say that,at some point of life, every teenager faces some of these common problems mentioned over here.

    1. Welcome to the blog Rakesh!

      Glad you could relate to the post, and like you, I hope this post helps other teenagers overcome the problems they face in their life.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  29. Good job Harleena. It is hard to be a teen and now days I believe it is even hard than it use to be.

    One thing that teens need to know from there parents is that they are loved. many parents are so busy making the money that they forget love is more important.
    Parents can get lost in trying to give give the material things rather than the love and understanding.

    Keeping your kids involved with sports and activities is very important, so they feel they are a part of something.

    Parent can also stay involved with there kids. Know there friend and friends parents if possible.

    I total agree that it does all come down to parenting. And the child know that they are loved and always have someone that cares.


    1. Hi Debbie,

      Well, thank you for saying that. 🙂

      I agree with you there, being a teen isn’t easy nowadays. It’s a lot harder than our times.

      You are absolutely right there – this is exactly what parents need to do – create the time to spend with their teens, which would stop at lot of teens from drifting away.

      While some teenagers at times do look forward to the materialistic things too, but they value the time, attention, love and understanding that you can shower them, much more.

      I agree about keeping them involved and active as that also channelizes their energy so that it’s not diverted to other destructive things. Parent’s involvement is essential wherever possible so that their channels of communication remain open and they become more of friends with their kids.

      Yes indeed, parents DO play a vital role and they need to be there for their teens through thick and thin – it does make a major difference to their life.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your words of wisdom with us. 🙂

  30. Wow! Harleena,

    This is the best piece ever I have read from your blog, or will I say that it is second only to your post on “how to deal with alcoholic dads”

    frankly, this post has enlightened me the more being in the peak of my teenage years.

    I did experienced most of what you have mentioned in your post but my parents being Gospel ministers were there to guide me aright till my Dad left the world during my High school.

    My mum has been very wonderful and helpful too and that has helped me keep away from all the other negative teenage experiences like smoking and hard drugs.

    Great post like this will not only enlighten but also inspire and admonish young folks like us.

    Thanks for sharing and also do have a splendid day.

    1. Hi Obasi,

      Ah…thank you SO much for saying that, and I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      It does mean a lot coming from you, who is a teenager – so you can well relate to it as well.

      Sorry to hear about your Dad, but you do agree that parental guidance or for that matte any elder guiding you did help you, isn’t it?

      I think your Mom, like Babanature’s, played a major role in making you the wonderful person that you are today, isn’t it? It’s quite similar to my parents I’d say who were always there for me, and by me.

      I do hope and pray this post helps teenagers who might face, or are facing such problems in their lives, to understand things and take control of their life before it’s too late.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂

      1. Thanks Harleena,

        My mum was there all the time for me and my siblings, hence playing the role of making us better persons we turn out to be today.

  31. Teen age comes with variety of problems as you have mentioned, like drug abuse, violence, relationship issue, behavior or might be sexual abuse. 🙁
    These problems are not only for teenagers but it is also for parents. It brings new challenges for parents. At that time teenagers need more care and support from their parents.

    I do agree, many teenagers become matured enough before time, this is really bad and result they are losing their childhood. No, I didn’t get that line in my mind, as I always look for some good suggestions or advice what make me a good human being. 🙂 But I had said this particular line to someone in my teen age. Bad for me. 🙁

    It is really difficult to accept our mistakes and shortcomings. Most of these things happen due to chemical changes in our own body. During this age, our body hormones are more active so they work very actively (both bad and good).

    True, learning from other’s mistakes is a symbol of the wise man but teenagers are unable to accept this. Here, our parents can help us in making us understand the reality.

    “A BIG NO at a high pitch” can save a teenager from many problems. No to alcohol, no to violence and no to bad friends could be a YES TO HAPPY LIFE. 🙂

    I loved the suggestions and advice what you have given for teenagers. It is very helpful for living a happy life.
    Thank for this very valuable post. I am going to share it. 🙂

    1. Hi Kumar,

      I agree with you – yes there are loads of teenage problems and these affect the teens and their parents both, in more ways than one.

      Teenagers need the full support, help, guidance, love, and understanding from their parents – all through their teen years and later too.

      Yes indeed, the teens are maturing much earlier due to the reasons mentioned, and there is nothing we can do about it other than to prepare our teens well in advance so that they are prepared to face the world.

      It is tough for even elders to accept their mistakes so we can’t blame the teens and all that they go through due to the hormonal changes in their body, though they need to learn and control themselves or channelize their energy in doing better things.

      Parents and caretakers are always their to guide their teens, provided they listen to them, which is half the problem of teenagers. Some of them just don’t listen, or feel they don’t need anyone’s advice!

      Teenagers can easily achieve a happy and successful life if they stay away from such problems, change their lifestyle, and take advice or suggestions from their elders, who only mean good for them.

      I do hope this post helps parents and their teens to resolve issues in their life so that they become happier adults.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. I appreciate the shares as well 🙂

  32. Hello Harleena,

    Yeah, I did face most of the things you mentioned here back in my teen days. But I did have a loving mother that pulled me out of the problems and not to talk of the bad habit I should had if it wasn’t for her :)You know, I never had any experience with smoking because the day I tried to smoke, I was given the beating of my life by my mom. The beating was so hard that up till now, I still have the fear of smoking :).

    I grew up where things can go wrong with any teenage if not taken care of properly.Teen love is natural because I did have a girl I loved then but due to circumstances, we drifted apart.What teenage do can be traced back to their parents. When a kid is becoming a teenager, they will want to do stuffs that are unimaginable but it is left to their parents to guide them through that stage. I know if it wasn’t for my mom who guided me through my teenage life, i’d have been something else :).

    Thanks for dropping such a lovely post, and do have yourself a peaceful week ahead…

    1. Hi Babanature,

      Nice to know that you could relate to the post, and did face a few of these teenage problems when you were a teen 🙂

      Ah…mothers are precious, aren’t they? So are fathers but mothers perhaps know their kids a little more as they are with them most of the time, in most of the cases, though nowadays things are changing where parenting is concerned.

      Hmm…I liked that! I think by being strict, your Mom stopped you from smoking, and you must’ve perhaps felt bad and hurt that time, but you do realize that it was for your good now, isn’t it?

      I can understand and such things can happen anywhere. Teen love is bound to happen I guess, or perhaps it might be their first one for some, though it doesn’t really last long and is sometimes only one sided too.

      I agree with you entirely – it IS the responsibility of the parents or caretakers to guide their children when they enter the teen years and prepare them well in advance so that these problems don’t occur. And even if they do, at least teenagers are prepared for them and know how to handle them. Yes indeed, if it wasn’t for my parents, I too wonder where or who I might have been 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us, which many would value. 🙂

  33. Yes, I remember those teenage years. I was a handful!!! Had major attitude. I was also an elementary teacher who worked at a school with teenage students — and I was completely scared of them!! Ha. My 4th grade girls were starting with the silliness early on. If I ever return to the classroom, I will have a girl’s empowerment group. But, I believe teenagers crave independence, making their own choices, and being heard. Providing an option to do that empowers the teenager and keeps the line of communication open.

    1. Hi Jennifer,

      Ah…were you! 🙂

      I can well relate to that having taught them a few years back – not to mention the questions they can come yup with and catch up off guard!

      I agree with you there – teenagers want that little space, and being parents and caretakers we need to respect that as well. However, if the freedom becomes too much or they turn up making wrong choices (major ones), parents and caretakers need to step in. Oh yes…the channels of communication need to be open ALL the time with teens.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post 🙂

  34. Hi Harleena,

    I don’t have teenagers and never will, but as you said at the outset of this post, I was one once.

    I think that it’s not easy to be a teenager, because all our ideas about life are somehow, distorted from reality.

    When I was a teenager, I never smoke, took drugs or anything like that, but I did make some mistakes that I wish I hadn’t.

    This is a great post for all teenagers out there!

    1. Hi Sylviane,

      Yes, you too were once a teen so can well relate to this, just like many others – and your advice would be valued a great deal by many I’m sure.

      Certainly not! I think they are a rather confused lot and sometimes pressurized from many sides to play roles or do things they might not want to do, though not necessarily for all of them. Yes, their ideas are distorted because they lack the experience and wisdom elders have.

      Like you, all these things were taboo in our house too, or perhaps we were raised differently and those times were different than what all teens face nowadays. Our share of teen problems were a lot different from these ones I think, but they were manageable and the family bonding was much stronger that time as compared to now.

      I do hope this post helps teenagers with their problems and helps parents understand their teens better as well.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post 🙂

  35. A very interesting post Harleena,

    SAY NO TO DRUGS INDEED. Drugs and hard drinks are some of the things that every teenager should avoid at all cost if he really want to live a successful life.

    It gives not benefits to life and body, it can only destroy you before you even know it but, it pains me that most youths of today has made such substances their best and closest companion.

    Learning from ones experience is always good but, it can be deadly sometimes because, its not everyone that will be lucky enough to live and learn from their experience, most people do die while having the experience and that is why it is better to listen to peoples advice.

    The fact that its your life is not the criteria for you to live it anyhow you like dear so, you must be very careful not to fall a victim of youthful exuberance.

    Thanks for sharing sweet heart 🙂 and have a lovely weekend ahead :).

    1. Hi Theodore,

      Glad you liked it and could relate to it 🙂

      I agree with you there because drugs, drinks and all such things ONLY do harm in the long run, and the sooner they realize this fact the better it is for them, isn’t it?

      Yes indeed, it saddens me too – to see youngsters take alcohol or drugs the way they do and just ruin their life. I think once they start they can never really stop and the experimentation continues beyond limits at times.

      Listening to the advice of elders or those who have tread the same path only makes sense because your experience counts only good in certain spheres – certainly not in drugs etc. However, the problem with teenagers remains that they just don’t listen half the time when they are told to do certain things or not to do certain things!

      You are right there – just because it’s their life doesn’t give them the freedom in all aspects, though being parents we ourselves do give teens the freedom where required.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views. Have a nice weekend as well 🙂

  36. This is an awesome Harleena and I’ll be encouraging my teens to read this.

    I’m always afraid my teens will not want to confide in me with issues like you mentioned above. I make it a point to be as involved as possible. I ask questions and even follow up questions to they can see i’m genuinely interested in what goes on in their lives.

    I’ve explained to them that as a teen I wasn’t comfortable talking to my mom and I made a promise to myself that I would work at a healthy relationship with my teens.

    Today I’m am great friends with my kids and yet they understand and respect the boundaries I have in place and when I have to put my mom hat on :).

    Thanks for the great advice. Teens really need to read this! Hope you’re having a great week so far!

    1. Hi Corina,

      Glad you liked it, and like you, I’ve made my teens read it too because it IS written especially keeping them in mind 🙂

      I understand what you mean, and you’re not alone there. My elder one is also like that, or perhaps older teens don’t really like to share things with their parents as such, even if we are always there for them. Some do though, but that comes with time I think and more interaction with them.

      I like that and I’m sure they must be valuing you being so open with them too about it. I was close to my Mom as a teen, but things changed so fast when I went to hostel and then for higher studies. I always missed her, and still do. 🙂

      Ah…don’t we ALL need to put on that hat, and how much they resent those moments…lol…but there is no other way to make them better adults, isn’t it?

      I do hope that teens learn a little from this post and their teenage problems can be lessened a wee bit by taking the advice in the post and also from comments, because they are all from experienced parents and adults, which need to be valued. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing your wisdom to the post 🙂

  37. Well, I haven’t particularly had any of these problems (still don’t). So, I don’t really know what to say here.

    But, I have had my share of issues (mostly about trying to understand this world 😛 Often times, I find it too complex and hard to understand). Most of the issues I have faced are related to my emotions – particularly anger (I have had situations in which I knew what my parents were saying as the right thing, but couldn’t control my own anger. At those times, I ask myself: What is purpose of calming myself down?).

    I do understand that my parents are doing what’s best for me (that realization has particularly helped me to maintain my temper, but I am still working on my controlling my anger :D).

    I don’t quite agree with your point on teenagers going through too much (well, yes there are going through too much. But, I think it’s part of life). The real world is cruel, selfish and all those other things. I believe that these problems will prepare a teen to became a mature adult.

    I think most teens do have the misconception that they are old enough or mature enough to decide what’s best for them (I don’t quite agree with that. Just because you can take care of yourself, doesn’t mean that you know everything about living or leading a life :D).

    Anyways, that’s all I have 🙂 You seemed to have covered almost every problem in a teen’s life 😀

    1. Hi Jeevan,

      Hmm…you must be an exceptionally good teen, and still are if you are in your teens still 🙂

      Honestly speaking, not all of these teenage problems happen with every teenager. I think it all depends on their upbringing, society, culture, friend’s circle, lifestyle and other things. In our country most of such problems don’t occur too, but they are gradually starting off.

      It’s not easy for a teen to understand the world, which is something we elders too can’t do at times. Yes indeed, anger and frustration are very common in teens perhaps because they cannot understand why things happen the way they do, and their own struggle to keep up in this world and prove themselves to be additional. I agree, no matter how much parents try to make them understand, it’s sometimes tough to get across to them. I have a tough time with my two at times too so I can well relate 🙂

      Don’t worry, with age and more stability in what you are doing, the anger will subside. In the meantime, you could try meditation (I know teens hate it mostly!), but it does help if you try it. Other things like sports and hobbies help to divert the anger too, or perhaps you’re already doing those things.

      Yes, it’s part of life, but I feel bad that teens undergo through that phase when they don’t know whether they are more of adults or still kids. That in-between phase when they are really troubled and don’t know how to deal with their emotions is what I meant.

      I do hope this post addresses the teen problems that they face when they are out there, because even if a teen isn’t doing all these things, it’s often the people or friend’s that surround him or her that make them change into what they don’t like or want to be, if not the other reasons. Yes, it matures them earlier than usual, though I wish this post makes them open their eyes and turn into sensible adults.

      Ah…I told you that you were an exception because most teens think they ARE mature enough, at least in America they do, while in our country too they are many who think like that. I’ve surely tried to cover the major teen problems but I know there are many more, which I intend writing about in the coming few months.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us 🙂

      1. Well, I don’t quite know about that 😀

        Indeed, it all depends upon our upbringing and the society we were brought up (or we live in).

        I do agree 😀 Sometimes (even though I don’t know why), I have an urge to prove that I am right (I am trying to control it though; I have realized that there is no point in proving myself to anyone, that’s not what life is about. I should enjoy life, learn things and pursue my dreams :D).

        I don’t quite meditate, but I do listen to relaxing/calming music. Perhaps I should give it a try 😀

        🙂 Emotions are still a messy area. If you don’t learn it to control during your teens (though, we have to learn it on our own. Schools don’t teach their kids on controlling emotions), we might have trouble in our later life.

        Indeed 😀

        I do understand 😉 Things are still different in our country 🙂

        Good luck! No problem, Harleena.

        1. That happens with some teens and even elders Jeevan – so you are not alone there 🙂

          I agree, makes no sense to prove anything to anyone. If you know what you need to work on then you should just do that and get better.

          Music is therapeutic too and almost like meditation, except that it’s not quite enough, and sometimes silence is a medium or way to go within yourself and your thoughts.

          Yes, emotions need to be controlled and they are often at their peak or can get worse when you are a teen, though all of them sometimes are tough to control. But if you work on them, with age and time, they get better.

          Yes they are and I don’t think that’s going to change. 😉

          Thanks once again 🙂

  38. Harleena- I think alot of the problem are the times. My children never went through what I seeing children today face. This is a world where both parents have to work to make ends meet and divorce is on the raise. Children are lacking the stability in their lives. The biggest problem today is the breakdown of the family.

    1. Hi Arleen,

      It’s great that neither you or your children did face and undergo such troublesome times. You’re right that a lot depends on the times and the kind of family setup that a home has.

      It’s a no-brainer that lack of family bonding and togetherness would result in poor communication, coordination, and care too. “Breakdown of the family” is definitely a BIG factor that is responsible for teenage problems.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing this important piece of wisdom. 🙂

  39. Hello Harleena,

    Every parents face teenage problem among their kids. Teenage problem starts from family, school/college. Here the parents must take key role to control their children. At teenage, they are in a emotion. It is a kind of dream – flying in the sky with his/her lover. But if there is atmosphere that parents everyday take lunch, supper, tea together & discuss different matters about teenage problem then they will understand slowly. You can’t force them to omit drug habit or any other bad habit.

    Your article will be a good guideline for parents how to protect their kids in this situation.

    1. Hi Ahsan,

      Yes, there can be only two factors influencing a child – internal or external (with regard to home). If parents are not able to provide the perfect setting to their teenagers, the probability increases for the teen to be influenced by some wrong company outside the home.

      Too much of control over the teenagers can also backfire, so one must be careful in that aspect. You’ve rightly narrated the mental state of a teenager.

      The right family environment and quality family time devotion by the parents do make a lasting impact on the mind and psyche of the child.

      I’m glad you like the guidelines as mentioned in this post. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your important views. I really appreciate it. 🙂

  40. Hello Harleena,

    You are absolutely right,I feel parents are to blame in place of such problems more than the teenagers as parents are to blame in place of upbringing their children, what do teenagers really now? they just wanna live their life to the fullest..

    But sincerely speaking i once face most of all these problems long ago, all thanks to my mum, that’s what i said most parent are to be blame..

    Thank you for sharing this post, you are really a great mother..

    Thank you
    Kind Regards..

    1. Hi Temilola,

      Yes, the parents are accountable for teenage problems as mentioned in the post in their children, to an extent. Sometimes, the external influence is too heavy on the child’s delicate and weak mind, and the child falls for the problems to much astonishment of the caring parents.

      Teenagers are free birds and you can’t clip their wings or keep them in a cage. You need to train them to return to you, and do as you say so they keep themselves safe.

      I’m sorry for the problems you faced in your teenage years, but then probably those hard times really taught you to be tough. Sometimes you really have to go through some bad times to learn some good things in life.

      Thank you for the appreciation and for stopping by to share your thoughts and views. 🙂

  41. Hi Harleena !

    You highlighted and explained the problems of teenagers very well.I feel parents are responsible for such problems more than the teenagers as parents are responsible for upbringing their children.I think parents should be strict with their children when they discover that their child is going in a wrong direction , every activity of theirs should be monitored (like whom they meet , where they go , who are their friends..etc ) .In case of orphan children , the place where they stay is responsible for cultivating habits like smoking,intake of drugs ..etc.Thanks for sharing the information .


    1. Hi Pramod,

      Definitely the parents are responsible to a great extent for the problems that their teenagers face. If they’re really involved and caring parents, they’d clearly see the signs and deviations from the normal behavior of their child.

      Parents would know beforehand about the company their teenager keeps and even their relationships if the parents really have a good rapport with their child.

      Yes, I agree that a teen is likely to get tempted into wrong doings or ways, and needs to be monitored. Parents can be strict or lenient depending on the situations.

      It’s sad but certain orphanages do not have proper surveillance and support system. For that matter, even teens living in their own home develop problems because their parents are either unconcerned or too busy.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts and view on this topic. I appreciate it. 🙂

  42. Wonderful, Harleena – looks like I’ve got a lot to look forward to with my 7 year old. 😉

    Actually, I had a recent realization with said 7 year old. When we had some recent daily conflicts, I initially assumed it was my fault, that I was being too reactive or not communicating clearly enough.

    But then I took a step back and saw how he was actually subtly manipulating me as well, and I realized that he’s now reaching the age where he’s beginning to make important moral or character choices about how he’s going to approach or navigate life in terms of honesty, authenticity, ethics, etc.

    Fascinating and a little frightening at the same time.

    1. Hi Brad,

      Ah, not all teenagers do really have all the teenage problems as mentioned in this post.

      I think you’ve a long time before you should worry looking forward to any problem, which won’t be in case you remain an understanding, caring, time giving, and a loving parent.

      Umm.. 7 year olds learning to manipulate, gosh, the world’s really moving too fast. But yes, this is still the foundation period in a person’s life where most rules, principles, and character formation takes place. If a parents works hard with the child till just before the adolescence, the further ride becomes easier than the ride without proper character formation in the child.

      Great observations and thanks for sharing them with all here. Thanks for stopping by, I appreciate it. 🙂

  43. Wow – Extra-ordinary post.

    Ya I faced all these problems in my teenage. If I had read this post 15 years before then altogether different story now. Especially I like Teenage Love. Wow it’s a wonderful experience for me. You can’t express in words. Mam I loved a girl. It’s a sincere love. But what happened. I am not earning at that time. So I am not in a position to express my love. So that girl waiting and waiting and finally marry another man. This is so sad. But anyway sometime I recall that and enjoy myself.

    1. Hi Kumar,

      I’m glad you like the post.

      Yes, the first teenage love generally is a wonderful experience, but doesn’t really work out in the long run. Of course, there can be exceptional cases that defy this statement.

      Thanks for sharing your experience and story. I’m sorry for the sad end to it, but you seem to have taken it sportingly and that’s good.

      Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

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