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Are you sailing smoothly in your teenage years, or facing the usual teenage problems? If you are a parent, then is your teenager able to cope up with the problems in his or her life?
I understand that this phase of life can be quite turbulent and is indeed a testing time for any teenager, or for that matter, even for their parents.
Even if you aren’t a teen or the parent of a teen, you were a teen once, so you too can relate to this post, isn’t it?
Teenage problems have always been there though their nature and type have gone through changes over the years.
Presently, the teenage life is marred with issues like drug abuse, violence, relationship issues, behavior problems, lack of personal finance know-how, and many others.
As a teen, are you facing any of these?
As a parent, are you troubled by your teenager’s problems?
I really feel bad for the teens and all that they undergo. Aren’t such issues too much for a person, who has just begun to understand life?
I might be wrong in my assessment, as many teenagers these days become mature before time due to their living circumstances, conditions, and lifestyle.
Some of you teenagers might say that you know the best about what to do with your life.
However, your parents and peers may not agree with you.
They would like to know if you have really developed the wisdom and the ability to discern the right from the wrong.
Are you capable enough to identify the problems and select a course to avoid them?
Perhaps some of you are, but not all of you.
I know that many teenagers fall into trouble due to ignorance and have a hard time coming out of them due to lack of awareness.
That not only wastes the crucial years of their life but also breaks them internally and fills their mind with negativity.
Hence, the reason I am writing this post, especially being a Mom of teens. 🙂
I am listing some common teenage problems along with some advice for teenagers, hoping that it helps them develop greater understanding.
Nevertheless, I would really like the adults and parents of teenagers to chip in and provide their valuable advice to the teens who are going to read this.
“I am every emotion times ten, I conform yet I’m rebellious, always obeying but somehow still an outlaw, always talking but never heard, I am a teenager.” ~ Author Unknown
What Stops Teenagers From Seeking Help
Before moving on, you should know that the main impasse is not about not knowing the problems and their solutions, but that of the teen’s attitude.
Some teenagers just do not want to change. Some just hate to make efforts to learn and improve, because they are mostly defiant and stubborn, which are typical teenage characteristics.
However, I would say that these traits, if left unresolved in the teen years, might carry on in their adult life and hamper their personal growth.
Here are a few negative self-affirmations that some teens have, which stop them from seeking help:
“I don’t need any teenage advice or lecture.”
Honestly, tell me how many of you said this line in your minds while reading this post. 🙂
Let me tell you that it’s quite normal and okay to feel this way. Not everybody likes to be told what to do, and it’s difficult to accept mistakes and shortcomings.
But you need to drop your resistance and accept the teachings of the experienced and the learned for your own advantage and benefit.
There should be no shame, nor should you feel low and bad about it. In fact, learning from others is a sign that you’re smart.
Taking advice from those who have crossed the same path isn’t a bad idea at all. If you do that, it will be an indication that you are actually growing up.
“It is my life.”
Yes, of course, it is!
As a teenager, you want to live your life, enjoy it the way you want, create your own world of fantasy, and make your own rules.
That’s great! Then why should this bother anybody?
Well, it does if what you do eventually harms you or others, in some way or the other.
Parents, teachers and elders are often bothered about what the teens are doing because they are concerned.
It’s because of their accumulated experience over the years that they know what things might cause problems, and what kind of problems are really bad that should be avoided by the teens at any cost.
Though it is your life, the elders have the moral responsibility to make you aware of the right path and let you know if you deviate from it.
“I will learn from my own experience.”
Without a doubt, there is no better learning than self-learning. But it’s smart and wise to learn from the experience of others and save your time and effort – isn’t it?
It’s not that you as a teen should not be allowed to commit mistakes at all; of course, lessons learned by stumbling and rising up again help you a lot.
However, nobody wants the teens to stumble and fall into deeper problems from where there is no return or the recovery becomes tough.
I feel that while teens have the right to live their way, they should have the courtesy and patience to accept the suggestions of their parents and elders as they are often in good faith.
Nevertheless, parents should refrain from imposing their will and decisions on the teens.
They need to understand the teenagers and their frame of mind and offer suggestions after having a realistic idea of their teen’s life situation.
Here are some of the problems that teenagers face in their life. Given along with them are some suggestions, which I hope can help the teenagers overcome their problems.
“It is hard to convince a high-school student that he will encounter a lot of problems more difficult than those of algebra and geometry.” ~ Edgar W. Howe
Common Teenage Problems That You Should Know
Let me ask the teenagers directly – what do they feel about themselves, their life, and the problems that they face.
I am not talking about the mood swings that all teenagers go through, frequent anger outbursts, and the rebellious or bad behavior exhibited by them at times.
Such actions and behaviors may have biological or emotional reasons. Read my post – How to Cope With Teenage Mood Swings, to know more about them.
In the post, you will know exactly why teenagers have mood swings and difficulty in controlling their emotions. You will also understand the reasons for identity crises that the teens undergo.
Scientists report that one of the reasons for teenage problems is the incomplete development (at that age) of the brain portion responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and judgment making.
This, however, does not give you the liberty to create problems. The way to develop the above-mentioned qualities is by exercising control over your mind.
These all are certainly some of the factors of teenage problems, but here let’s discuss the main problems teens face, shall we?
Teenage Drug Abuse
Not only in America but all over the world, high school students are more hooked on to marijuana than drinking alcohol.
This makes the situation worse as marijuana impacts the brain directly. It’s purely self-harm due to ignorance.
The irony is that many teens consider marijuana and drugs like ecstasy as fun, tamer, effective, good for mental focus, and above all, not harmful.
Teenagers are widely abusing prescription painkiller drugs and using legal substitutes.
Most teenagers start on these drugs just for the sake of curiosity and experimentation, or because they see others do it and consider it a norm that they have to follow.
However, for many of them it costs their life.
Statistics reveal that people who started substance abuse in their teen years became addicted by the time they became adults and harmed their life in many ways, including damaging their relationships.
Teen Advice: These so-called “soft” drugs can in no way be an excuse for you to stay away from the “hard” drugs like cocaine and heroin.
What you need to do is to say NO to drugs completely.
There is no drug that you can label as “safe”. Furthermore, why do drugs at all?
Remember, all substances including alcohol, marijuana, tobacco etc., have an adverse impact on your cognitive and emotional development. In short, they do you more harm than good.
You may feel happier and on a high at that moment, but that happiness is short-lived – very dependent on the drug, and comes with many side effects and harmful disadvantages.
Instead, you can opt to work on personal development and achieve long-term happiness.
If you are undergoing stress and trauma, then there are other ways to relieve stress using your senses, instead of looking for solutions in materialistic things and substances.
You have all the solution within you – only if you care to know yourself. 🙂
Teenage Love
Love is at the base of every healthy relationship though scientists say that teen love is complicated.
Teenage love is generally a result of the mixture of chemical and hormonal changes that occur in the body.
Not to mention that there’s also a desire to follow the romantic ideals from novels, movies, or even real life, and the curiosity to experience and experiment love.
Some teenagers also have love affairs simply to compete or show off because they are jealous of their friends having affairs. Whereas, some just don’t want to be the odd one out in their group.
Such relationships are tricky because you tend to rush into them without carefully knowing the person.
One of the pitfalls of such a relationship is that the other person starts controlling, or forces you to do things against your wish.
Many teens suffer abuse in their relationships, though they are not able to assess and understand the abuse. The abuse can be emotional, physical, sexual, financial, and social.
They may be so psyched and blinded that they drop their guard, disbelieve their doubts, and become dependent on their partner.
Other factors that lead to problems in teenage love are lack of maturity, commitment, reciprocation, and self-worth, apart from cheating and infatuation.
How do you assess yourself?
I know falling in love as a teenager is exciting. However, what feels like love, may not really be love – so be careful!
Teen Advice: There are numerous reports of teen dating abuse and violence. That is the beginning of a potentially dangerous relationship, which should be avoided.
Even if you believe that your boyfriend or girlfriend who is hurting you – loves you, it’s not a healthy relationship, so avoid it.
Do not accept abuse in any form. Have high self-esteem and rethink of the relationship that becomes a burden or a drag.
Teen relationships and the teens themselves are continually growing and changing, and that’s one reason such relationships don’t last long.
Remember that your first love in your teens, might be ruled by your hormones and not by your heart, and it may be difficult for you to tell the difference. So, watch each step you tread!
Teenage Pregnancy
One of the worst things that can happen to a teenage girl is to get pregnant without getting married. There goes all your fun and independence.
You soon realize that having a love affair and sex in your teenage years is not always cool and nothing to experiment.
It could result in teenage pregnancy, which forces many teen mothers to drop out of school. How would that affect your life and future?
Not only biologically and medically, but teenage pregnancy also has socioeconomic repercussions, because raising a baby requires finances and support.
There is also a psychological impact on the teen mother as her life would drastically change and she might have a difficult time adjusting to it.
Since there is a large probability of teen mothers giving birth to premature babies, it aggravates the problems for them, and the development of the child.
Moreover, according to statistics – 8 out of 10 teen dads don’t marry the teen mother. Therefore, if you don’t take precautions, it’s going to be a lone battle with life.
Teen Advice: There are only two logical options to avoid teenage pregnancy – avoid having sexual intercourse, and even if you do, always use contraceptives as a precautionary measure.
This awareness could save you the additional problems for a lifetime.
Don’t succumb to any kind of pressure and learn to say NO if you don’t feel comfortable about having sex. It is YOUR life – don’t let anyone rule over it!
Teen boys should also understand the grave implications involved in having sex. They need to act responsibly and always use protection.
Teen dads cannot get away from the problems that the teen mothers face, and teen boys have to take up the responsibility if they get a teen girl pregnant.
I’d personally suggest you to exercise control and patience as you’ll get many opportunities later in life to discover and experience your sexuality.
Teenage Violence
Anger is a major negative characteristic of the teenage years. Teenagers easily get upset, and they are unable to control their negative feelings in most of the cases.
Teen violence is a harmful behavior that can occur in the form of bullying, fighting, cyber bullying, and using weapons that also leads to school shootings, besides sexual assault and murder.
Such actions not only cause you physical harm but also leave you with a deep emotional scar that can last a lifetime and ruin your life.
Peer pressure, friendship with antisocial and delinquent peers, and membership in a gang are some of the factors that encourage teen violence.
A violent teenager is likely to undergo other teenage problems too including drug or alcohol abuse, and depression.
Teen Advice: You should understand your own reasons for getting angry and try to avoid such situations or conditions. If you cannot, then you can best try controlling your reactions.
Don’t be impulsive. Instead, try to seek the help of your parents or teachers to resolve your anxiety and frustration.
Try to understand that anger is a ‘cover up’ or mask for your feelings of fear, shame, frustration, embarrassment, and others. You need to learn to cope with them.
Release your negative energy and feelings of anger through positive means such as sports, games, running, painting, listening to music, meditation, yoga, or any other hobby.
Don’t choose anger as a way to assert your independence and to find your own identity – this mostly backfires. Anger will make you helpless and lose control, with no positive outcome.
Reduce your exposure to TV, Internet, video games. Spend more time on exercising, eating right, leading a healthy lifestyle, getting enough sleep, and finding a good way of entertainment.
Teenage Depression
Almost everybody undergoes a low phase in life when sadness prevails, but it’s mostly temporary. Depression is the state when you feel too low and sad for a long period.
You may feel like no one understands you and that you will never be happy again. You lose heart and don’t feel like doing anything, and harbor the feelings of being worthless and incapable.
Such thoughts and feelings affect your studies as your grades suffer. There is a lack of concentration and motivation, and you feel drained off energy most of the time.
You are flawed with negative feelings, moods, and thoughts. You could become so overwhelmed with your helplessness that you think of harming yourself, or committing suicide in some cases.
Teenage suicide can be prevented if teenagers are given timely help and support to overcome their sadness.
Sometimes even if your parents, elders, teachers, and friends want to help you, they cannot do so until you open up and share your thoughts and feelings with them.
Teen Advice: Do away with alcohol or drugs, if you are using them because they can sometimes magnify and take your negative or sad feelings to extremes.
You are not able to be yourself when you are under the influence of such toxic substances.
Keep away from bad company and from those who make you feel low and dejected. Seek the help of your parents, good friends, close relatives, and confide in them.
If you have suicidal tendencies and find no one to share and talk to, call the suicide helpline. You will find good listeners there who can also help you understand yourself and solve your problems.
Remember that the dark clouds of negative thoughts will soon pass by. You need to be brave, hold on to yourself, engage yourself in positive activities, listen to motivational stuff, and never be alone.
Always share, keep communicating, force yourself to go out, and believe in yourself so you don’t lose control of your mind.
You will be back to normal in no time. 🙂
“I think the hardest part about being a teenager is dealing with other teenagers – the criticism and the ridicule, the gossip and rumors.” ~ Beverley Mitchell
These were a few common teenage problems, but I know there are many other problems that a teenager faces in life, which I will be discussing in my future posts.
If you are going through some of these teenage problems or are aware of your friends going through any of them, then do share in the comments to help others in a similar situation.
No matter what, I would say that always have a positive attitude to accept change and learn to improve, besides having this belief ingrained in your mind that every problem has a solution.
Don’t hesitate to seek help and suggestion from your peers, elders, parents, and teachers. Each one of them has gone through this phase of life, and every word of advice counts.
Keep yourself educated and aware of the various problems that a teenager faces in life.
There’s no denying the fact that part of the responsibility of the teenage problems lies with their parents or caretakers.
They need to spot the problems early, create an amicable environment, be good role models, and act with wisdom and compassion.
Even if you don’t get the ideal parental support, shed your ignorance in spite of all odds by accessing information as in this post to make yourself aware and avoid the typical teen problems.
Prove that you are a smart teenager by avoiding these problems in your life. 🙂
“How strange that the young should always think the world is against them – when in fact that is the only time it is for them.” ~ Mignon McLaughlin
Over To You –
As a teenager, how do you tackle your teen problems? If you are an adult or a parent, what would you suggest to the teenagers and proactively do yourself to not let such teenage problems arise at all. Discuss and share in the comments.
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