Understanding True Love between Two People

- | 61 Aha! comments | Posted in category: Love & Relationships

boy and girl understanding true love by loving each other

Understanding true love is not easy, especially the love between two people.

The understanding of true love takes a lot of time, patience, and the readiness to accept each other when there is love between two individuals.

There are many kinds of love and each depends on what we feel for another.

There could be love that you may have for your parents, children, pets, friends, relatives, or just about anyone, other than the love between two people.

The topic about true love is so wide that it gets tough to pen down within a few words, but I will try to focus today’s post on how we can understand true love or the love between two people.

 “We really have to understand the person we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love.” ~ By Thich Nhat Hanh

Starting with the very basic – what does love mean to you? How do you relate to love and what do you feel about it?

What is Love?

Simply stated, love is the feeling that you feel for another, which comes from within.

Love is the emotion that makes you blush and feel elated, makes you feel on top of the world and just not yourself anymore!

Love is profound and shouldn’t be treated lightly. It is a natural wonderful feeling, and so powerful that it can cause us pain.

Love shared between two people creates an awesome feeling that wraps us and makes us very protective of the love we have.

Sometimes love hurts because we stop thinking of ways to keep the fondness burning, to keep it safe.

Love is not one-sided and you can never win in the game of love, which is the saddest part.

Love between two people is a shared feeling about their interest in one another. It is not about jealousy, conflict, testing, instead love is a positive feeling.

It is the total surrender of your heart to another person when you have that confidence that they will treat your heart better than you will.

Love feels good, not bad. It should want to make you a better person, not lead you to do something damaging. It makes you glow and soar in spirit.

Love knows no limits, no boundaries, and no limitations. It is unconditional, limitless, and always flowing. We can’t avoid getting hurt in love, but just as Tennyson said:

“Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

Love between Two People

Understanding true love takes time, and though you can never find out your feelings or the feelings of another person about love, there are some signs that show that love between two people is blooming.

  • You know that love between two individuals is present, because you have been told by your partner and your feelings are returned in kind.
  • You feel joyful and serene when you are with your partner.
  • You try to find ways to be romantic with each other, not only on Valentine’s Day, instead make each day as good as Valentine’s.
  • The objects of your affection and love makes you feel good about yourself, and you feel so special.
  • When you feel jealous you don’t let that thought come to you because you trust your partner. You know that your partner won’t hurt your relationship or betray you.
  • When you quarrel with your partner you normally make up within a few hours. You believe that nothing is more important than being able to express your true feelings, even if they cause conflicts.
  • Both you and your partner don’t feel the need to test each other’s feelings or loyalties.
  • Your partner doesn’t ask you to choose between your loyalties to your friends and family and him/her. And if you do choose your partner over them, you have a valid reason and it’s based on your decision alone.
  • The love shows when you are more of yourself when you are with your partner, rather than when you are with somebody else. You become best friends with your partner.

When you see love between two people, something is moving, changing, and flowing. They live in an aura and their vibrations reach one another even if they are not together.

In such kind of love sometimes there is no need for words as there is a deep understanding prevalent between two people. Instead, there is an exchange between their souls or a soul-to-soul connection.

“Love is like the sunrise; hope appeared at the same time on two faces and in two souls connected by the same wonders and tears of life.” ~ Mariana Fulger

Speaking of myself, my husband and I do have our problems and small conflicts. But we make that sincere effort to work things out by talking and trying to resolve issues.

I won’t say I have a full understanding of true love yet, or there is a soul connection between us, but I am close and working towards it. I guess when both sides work towards one goal, things do happen.

forever in love

Understanding True Love

My heart really hurts to read and see so many people breakup and move on, because the love between both people was not strong enough. I guess their lack of understanding of true love led them to this situation.

For me, true love is all about the willingness to accept another for who and what he/she is, even if they are totally different from you. And yes, accept them willingly and happily without really trying to change them. If need be, you could try to change yourself or accept the change and adjust.

“True love is born from understanding.” ~ The Buddha

Some traits that are usually present when there is love between two people are as under:

1. When you are ready to sacrifice your needs

True love is about being ready to sacrifice your own requirements and desires for the one you love, and put them before you. You are ready to make small sacrifices for one another, because you love them so dearly.

2. When you are ready for commitments

True love is the keenness to commit, forgive and be forgiven, to engage in and maintain understanding within the relationship, and the willingness to enter into a long-term commitment.

3. When you are ready to accept one another

Most importantly, I feel true love is the readiness to accept the shortcomings in your partner without any conditions. It is also the willingness to reveal your own imperfections without the fear that you will be evaluated or rejected.

4. When you are able to open up yourself & share things

When you are willing to be vulnerable where love is concerned, you are opening yourself up to another person. This means that you are disclosing things about yourself that you don’t know will be taken up well.

It is about sharing everything of your past, present, future dreams and hopes, good and bad times, desires and needs, material possessions, emotions, and just about every smallest of your life with your partner.

5. When you are content and secure

Where there is true love, you know and feel loved. You know that the love is true because you feel content that where you are, is a safe and secure place.

6. When you are compassionate towards one another

True love is also about being compassionate towards your partner, to be able to heal old wounds, and to ease their pain and suffering. You help them overcome their fear and hurt.

It sure is that feeling you get in your heart when you see your loved one in front of you, which makes an instant connection when there is love among two people.

7. When you are patient and gentle

When there is real love, you will be patient with the one you love, because you love him or her. And such patience is visible in your actions.

True love is also gentle as its character is to care and cherish one another. One of the most loving actions is a gentle touch that conveys a great deal. Or even things like correcting the one you love in a gentle manner – shows that you care.

8. When there is sheer joy

There is absolute joy in the smallest of things like when you wake up next to your partner, or even during tough times, when you should be grateful that you have your partner beside you.

Understanding true love is all about making the love between two people shine right through. Your partner should be able to make you laugh when you want to cry, and they should be able to hold you even when you make them mad! (I know this is really tough!)

True love listens; it always waits, and is patient, kind, caring, joyous, and free!

“True love begins when nothing is looked for in return.” – Antoine De Saint-Exupery

I know that it’s tough to understand true love, and along with love comes the hurt and pain too. I wanted to continue writing about why does love hurt in a relationship, but as this post is already long enough, I shall be writing about it next week. So, look out for next Friday’s post on why love hurts!

So, though understanding true love between two people is tough, but it’s not impossible. And once people learn about it they cherish it lifelong, as true love is the greatest gifts in the world.

Over to you

Have you been in love? If so, what was your experience like? Did you have trouble in understanding true love? Do you feel that the love between two people is incomplete without a proper understanding of true love? Share your thoughts in the comments below.



Photo Credit: Candida Performa

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61 Comments - Read and share thoughts

  1. Ani

    2017-05-26 at 8:53 pm

    I want to add a comment on one thing:
    “I guess when both sides work towards one goal, things do happen.”

    I am not an expert but I do believe in the following:
    -If you start a joint venture ( a company), then yes, you two need to work towards one goal.
    -If you talk about love, either two people fall in love or they do not. I cannot agree with this statement that they need to work on it.

    2nd comment:
    I believe that no one needs to change in oder to live true love. Some adaptations (small) but not changing who you are, not changing your nature.

    3rd comment:
    When someone is in love, she/he does not walk on the ground but rather feels like flying. The heart is flying from happiness. There is also some warmth felt and you also have the feeling that you can conquer the whole world, because someone you love loves you back.

    • Melissa Salito

      2018-04-22 at 9:05 pm

      This is an interesting article. There are definitely some truths here on the subject of true love. I would like to mention that I agree with you 100% on your comment in regards to what Harleena stated: “I guess when both sides work towards one goal, things do happen.”. Either two people fall in love or they don’t. It’s not really a “goal” that anyone or two people can work towards.

  2. Ani

    2017-05-26 at 8:38 pm

    Thank you for this article. The most wonderful subject to write about. It has been studied for centuries and I do not think there is a ready answer. Everyone of us can find the answer in our heart.
    Let me only add that when you are in love and you do not see the other person for some time you feel like a part of you is missing…

    Great article, really!

  3. June

    2013-11-27 at 3:20 am

    Harleena, this is a lovely post. After reading it, it made me wonder if I have ever really loved in the true sense of the word. When I was in love I always thought it was real love. But to be honest, I don’t think it was. If so, I wouldn’t be single now.

    Looking back I believe I was seeking love to compensate for not loving myself. It’s a long story. Plus, I think I felt love at the beginning of each relationship. Although, it probably wasn’t strong enough on either side for us to work out our differences and reconcile them. But all the experiences I’ve had have made me wiser.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Have a good week. 🙂

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-11-27 at 12:08 pm

      Hi June – nice to have you back 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by at this post. I can so well understand what you mean by feeling that your love was the real or true love. I think most of us feel the same way because we are completely blinded by love that time and can’t realize what it might lead to later…so it’s not your fault at all 🙂

      That’s another problem because we tend to find true love in order to compensate for other things or broken relationships we’ve had earlier. Some people just don’t give a breathing time and are ready to jump into a new relationship without being sure it’s the right one for them. Wisdom speaks!

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. Happy Thanksgiving week as well 🙂

  4. Susan Neal

    2013-11-27 at 2:48 am

    Hi Harleena,

    A beautiful post on a lovely subject. The only thing I’d take issue with is the statement that love is a “feeling” – I think it comes through in a lot of what you’ve said further on in the post that it’s much more than that. Our feelings change, even for those we love, and when we “fall in love”, we’re often a bit kind of “drunk” – it’s like being on an emotional high, which can’t possibly go on for ever. I think that’s why a lot of relationships don’t last, because people get disillusioned when those early passionate feelings start to wane. In the early days of a relationship, we also tend to see one another through rose tinted spectacles – we have an idealised image of our loved one, and it can be hard to cope when their less attractive traits start to show, in the cold light of day.

    As you say, true love involves commitment, compassion, understanding and accepting each other – for better or worse 😉

    • Harleena Singh

      2013-11-27 at 11:55 am

      Hi Sue,

      Glad you stopped by this post and liked it 🙂

      Yes – we are certainly on a high when in love, and I don’t think we are in a state to even think the right from wrong in most of the cases. Love tends to fade as soon as the reality surfaces, just as you mentioned, and most often it results in broken relationships.

      I think if couples take the pains to get to know each other well enough, such problems won’t occur. But sadly that doesn’t happen and they are overtaken by their feeling of infatuation in most cases, which they mistake for love.

      Surely a lot goes into being a true lover 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your words of wisdom with us 🙂

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