11 Ways To Make Sure That Your Wedding Day Is Not Your Doomsday

How to plan a wedding to make it a smooth and stress-free affair

- | 30 Aha! comments | Posted in category: Love & Relationships

11 Wedding Planning Ways To Make Sure That Your Wedding Day Is Not Your Doomsday

Planning my wedding was really easy and stress-free ~ said no bride ever

Hahahaahha. This really tickled my funny bone.

Every bride has a story to tell. Or stories in some cases.

You have long dreamt of the day you would wear a gorgeous wedding dress and walk down the aisle with “Here comes the Bride” playing softly and be the centre of attention, admiration of all and envy of some.

Growing up, you cheerfully took your place in the bridal train as a flower girl and then later, as a bridesmaid.

Hooray, he proposed.

From the moment the proposal is made, all the wistful dreams come alive. All that occupies your thoughts as a bride-to-be, is how to make your Wedding Day unique, special and as beautiful as it can be.

You call up the girls, and break the good news, “I’m getting married”.

After the squeals, and hugs, and tears, comes the onslaught of suggestions and the beginning of planning for the wedding day.

Planning For The Wedding Day

This usually results in the chaos that wedding planning has come to be associated with.

Some brides go berserk, scream, or even break down in tears, before or even during the wedding.

It doesn’t have to be so.

Here are 11 tips to help you stay sane as you tie the knot.

1. Set a Realistic Goal

Be realistic.

You can’t really have all your fantasies come alive. Because Crystal had an ice sculpture and fountain at her reception and everyone loved it, doesn’t mean you can. Especially if you live in Texas or the tropics.

Not everything you have admired at different weddings must be implemented in yours.

When you fantasize about having a princess themed wedding plus a cowboy rodeo reception with plenty of food and drinks, inviting celebrities or their look-alikes to be your special guests, you may just be biting more than you can chew and it had best remain that way. A beautiful fantasy.

You need to think objectively about the wedding.

Ask questions. Do your background research so you don’t end up spending more than you should. Dream wide, but dream with your eyes open.

2. Have a Budget

In 2014, 45% of couples went over budget, about 1 in 4 (26%) of couples stayed within their budget, and only 6% of couples came out under budget. 23% didn’t even have a wedding budget, up from 17% in 2009. (statistics from prnewswire.com).

Having a budget is crucial in drawing the lines between fantasy and reality.

Even though, some couples go overboard, having it makes it easier to manage expenses.

When you know how much you have available to spend on the wedding, it guides your decisions on the type of dress, whether to buy or rent, the number of people to invite, the type of venue to use, etc.

“It is useful not just in the beginning, but as you begin to purchase items, it guides your spending, so that you know what you need to add to the list or remove from it as the case may be.”

This quote highlights one important fact to remember.

Weddings are not about spending the most amount of money or the least amount of money; they are about spending good money on the elements that are most important to you and your partner. ~ Kristi Richardson

Your budget should reflect this.

3. Plan Ahead

Give time for things. Pace yourself.

If you don’t have plenty of money to hire an event planner, then give yourself ample time to plan it.

There’s no use planning a wedding in an anxious frenzy. It’s the perfect recipe for disaster.

When you try to force many things to happen in a short time, you may not achieve the desired results. And you are definitely setting yourself up for a nervous breakdown.

Weddings are important because they celebrate life and possibility

4. Family Matters

It’s best not to ignore family in the whole process. The way you have been dreaming about same way Mum, Dad or Grandma has been anticipating it.

So it’s important to ask what plans Mum has, or you might soon realize that you are planning the same event in two different ways.

In the movie, Love, Wedding Marriage, when the conflicts arose between the couple and the families involved, they had this catchy phrase, “Our marriage, their wedding”. I couldn’t help but laugh. It’s funny but true.

You can’t plan a wedding solo and not lock heads with well-meaning family members.

See them as bonafide stakeholders and seek a compromise on issues.

5. Have a Checklist

This is where all the planning begins in earnest.

It’s compulsory if you want to remain sane. It helps you know where you are at in the planning process.

You can have an excel sheet drawn that shows all the details. What has been completed, who is in charge of what, what feedback have you gotten so far, what’s left undone, etc.

There are samples on the web of checklist to be used. Some can give a time frame of up to 12 months and then you work through the various activities at their respective times until the D-day. The knot has a perfect checklist to follow.

Putting it all in black and white gives you a sense of purpose and helps you focus on what is important and/or urgent without forgetting. It’s super crucial because, in the whirlwind of event planning, some things can be overlooked until it is too late.

It also makes delegation easy, especially if you have to be absent for a while; someone can stand in and carry on the project without major challenges.

Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy.

6. Stress Relievers

Despite your best intentions, you might just find that there’s too much going on in your head, which makes you want to scream and throw a temper tantrum. Hold on.

There’s no need for that. Stress relievers come in quite handy here. You could take a walk. Listen to some calming music, read a novel, take a long scented bath, watch a comedy flick, do some yoga/meditation. Whatever works for you. Schedule time for it and adhere to it.

No thinking, planning or taking calls. The result will be amazing. You will get back to planning refreshed and even have a better perspective.

7. Sleep/Rest

This is so important that it needs to stand alone.

Sleep is the golden chain that ties health and our bodies together. ~ Thomas Dekker

Many brides-to-be find that sleep is elusive, especially as the Day draws near. And so you must take care to give yourself time to sleep.

You will not add to the success of the wedding when you are sick and worn out. Get some rest.

8. Good Nutrition

Almost as important as sleep, is eating properly.

There are countless cases of the bride who have had to adjust their gowns few days to the wedding because they had lost some pounds planning the wedding.

Snacking on chocolate bars or chips won’t cut it. The temporary ‘highs’ caffeine and sugar give often result to crash in mood and energy.

You need to be deliberate about what to eat when to eat and even how. Your wellbeing is as important if not more important than the wedding itself. You sure won’t look glamorous if you are all pale and sickly looking.

9. Delegate

You don’t have to do it all yourself.

Many people, family, friends are willing to help if only you let them. You can give pointers on what you want and probably how you want it done. But don’t wear yourself trying to do it all.

Have a support group.

It could be a close circle of friends or family members who can give you feedback, advice, suggestions that can help you plan better.

Sometimes, a hug, or smile or a right word is just what you need to get your zest back. They can help ensure that you eat, sleep, and exercise when you should.

10. Be willing to Compromise

Not everything would go exactly the way you have planned.

Your ability to know when to settle for a compromise is crucial for your mental and emotional health.

It might involve adjusting your standards reasonably, so you don’t set yourself up for failure by being a perfectionist. You need to learn to be okay with ‘good enough’.

There would also be some things that would arise, which are beyond your control. Rather than stress over them, you can choose to focus on other things which you can control.

This fact is the key to being a radiant bride – the ability to take the unexpected curves of planning in stride and making the best out of every situation.

The most important thing is to enjoy your life - to be happy - it's all that matters.

11. Have Fun with Your Spouse

We aren’t forgetting something, are we? Your spouse is the reason for all the planning. If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t have a wedding to plan.

Create time to have fun. Go for a dance, play some games. Strengthen your bond.

The time of wedding planning has some couples at each other’s throats, and it’s difficult to have a loving conversation when you are trying to pay for dresses and venues, chasing vendors and all, especially if you are not in agreement about how much should be spent.

Take some time and have a chat. Talk about other things not related to wedding planning. Have fun together. You have a lifetime ahead of you so plan for it.

The Bottom Line

Planning the biggest Day of your life doesn’t have to stress you out.

You deserve to walk down the aisle with the biggest smile possible, without any worries and dance like Cinderella did, only, this time, there are no midnight chimes. Lol.

When you understand your uniqueness and give yourself ample time to plan within the stipulated budget, you will find that having a checklist makes your wedding plan look like a breeze.

With the help of family, friends and loved ones, you are sure to be the beautiful, radiant bride every girl aspires to be. Not forgetting to eat properly, rest as much as possible and have fun all the way.

No use being a Bridezilla and ruining relationships because of an event of a few hours. You can plan your wedding day with everyone smiling at the end of the day.

Remember,

“A wedding is a party, not a performance. If at the end of the day you are married to the one you love, then everything went perfectly.” ~ Anonymous

To all my brides-to-be, Congratulations.

This list is by no means conclusive, and if you have something I left out, I’d be most happy to hear them in the comments.

Over To You

What would you do to make sure your wedding day is not your doomsday?

If you have planned a wedding whether yours or for a friend/client, what did you do to ensure a smooth planning process?

Or what helpful tip would you give to brides-to-be? Share your thoughts in the comments. You never know whose life (or wedding) you might save. Hahaha.

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30 Comments - Read and share thoughts

  1. Monisha

    April 6, 2016 at 5:38 pm

    Hi Ruth ,

    Thanks for sharing it with all the brides-to-be.Me myself being into wedding planning can actually relate to it.You have mentioned some great points on why one should hire a wedding planner and how a planner can make a couple’s life stress free. I appreciate your effort.
    Thanks

    • Ruth Zubairu

      April 8, 2016 at 12:34 am

      Hi Monisha,
      Thanks for coming.
      You are a wedding planner too? Great and so you can definitely connect with it. The couple sure deserves to have it stress-free.
      Thanks for your kind words.
      Have a great day.
      Cheers

      • monisha

        April 8, 2016 at 1:50 pm

        Yes Ruth. I am also a wedding Planner 🙂 and I enjoy reading posts related to weddings. Some of them really help in getting new ideas.Pls keep writing more. I enjoy reading your posts.

  2. Henna

    March 31, 2016 at 10:55 pm

    Hey Harleen,
    I recently got married. Your post reminded me of my wedding. I planned almost everything from food, decor, stage, the wedding dress with lots of help from my family and cousins. The planning part was so much fun. But,mostly I was consumed by, you know ‘I am ready to get married yet’ thoughts and worried about my career etc.
    Looking back, I wish I lived the moment and enjoyed my wedding rather than worrying about things. My wedding pics make me sad now.
    Having said that, I am happily married now and my message to all the ‘bride-to-be’s out there is that don’t make the mistake I made. Just enjoy the time with the family and loved ones, the wedding, all the events, make memories and be happy.

    Love
    Henna

    • Henna

      March 31, 2016 at 11:26 pm

      Thanks Ruth
      I am so sorry.. I dint realize it was a guest post, until now. Thanks a lot for the post

      • Ruth

        April 1, 2016 at 8:10 pm

        Hi Henna,
        No offence taken… I’m super honored that my writing could be mistaken for Harleena’s.
        I totally agree with the point you made. Many brides do not enjoy their weddings because they’ve been stressed out during the planning and are anxious and worried about the success of the event.
        Thanks for sharing your experience and congrats on your wedding.
        Marriage is a beautiful journey, and like all journeys, should be prepared for.
        Cheers,
        Ruth

  3. Sikhar Dhawan

    March 9, 2016 at 1:22 pm

    Hello,
    No doubt wedding day is one of the most important and special day anyone’s life. Plans and preparations are important to make it more special and memorable.
    You have mentioned some great tips to make wedding day unforgettable.

    Thank you so much!

    • Ruth Zubairu

      March 9, 2016 at 10:06 pm

      Hi Sikhar,
      Thanks for your kind words.
      Weddings are indeed very important in our lives and deserve to be full of great memories.
      I’m so glad you found them practical and helpful.
      Have a great week.

  4. Vernon Layne

    March 6, 2016 at 1:54 pm

    Hi Ruth,

    This April we will celebrate 4 years of marriage!

    This post took me back to those wonderful days leading up to the big day.

    The reason it went so well is one, I learned to get out of the way because it’s Nicole’s wedding.

    And two she had the checklist you talked about it made it a lot smoother.

    Family matters is very important because everyone wants to feel like they are a part of your special day.

    My role was to just say ,’yes dear’.

    Matter of fact it’s still my role today and she’s still happy. 😀

    You gave some awesome tips that could only come from experience.
    Great job!
    Vernon

    • Ruth Zubairu

      March 9, 2016 at 9:59 pm

      Hi Vernon,
      C’mon. You really don’t mean that. Still your role today? Lol.
      I do agree though that most of the details of planning a wedding is handled by the woman. But the man has a part to play and needs to be involved, even if just as a sounding board. Hahaha.
      Thanks for stopping by.
      Regards to Nicole.

  5. Rachel Wolany

    March 5, 2016 at 12:46 pm

    Hey Ruth,

    You make some good points. I have seen it play out in real life where the stress is overwhelming the brides, the husband to be is running in the opposite direction and mates are patting him on the back with support.

    I’ve seen some of the most organised and best planners forget they had these skills and lose all self control. Watching from afar is amusing but you never want to get up close. What is the difference between the great work they do organising Christmas or a work event to the wedding. Its because its that dream they have talked, planned and thought about for years.

    I never got into that dream. My only concern was how I could get away with not wearing heals because I could see me stumble over the dress falling face flat to the floor and the photos would be ruined with a big blue bruise or a broken nose.

    I loved your the be realistic goal, come on Ruth can I please have a rodeo reception. Enjoyable post.

    Rachel

    • Ruth Zubairu

      March 9, 2016 at 9:56 pm

      Hi Rachel,
      I totally agree with you on that. It’s always different when you are involved in the event. I think it’s like doctors not treating their family or so.
      Hahahaha. Did you really get away with not wearing heels?
      I totally enjoyed your cooment. Thanks for sharing them, Rachel.
      Have a great week.

  6. Corina Ramos

    March 2, 2016 at 8:52 pm

    Hi Ruth and Harleena,

    What a great post Ruth. Planning a wedding can get very overwhelming. I didn’t realize there was so much to consider but you’ve brought up great points here.

    I have to agree on the ice sculptures…I live in Texas and they wouldn’t last 10 minutes in a summer wedding. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing this.

    Hope you’re both having a great week.

    Cori

    • Ruth Zubairu

      March 3, 2016 at 2:08 pm

      Hi Cori,
      Thanks for stopping by.
      I totally agree with you that it can get very overwhelming.
      Yea, I decided to look at it from a holistic point of view, instead of concentrating on what the vendors or service providers can do.
      Texas, huh? It would be absurd to do ice sculptures in temp 90F thereabouts. I’ve always admired the cowgirls and horses…… Don’t get me started. Hahaha.
      Thanks for your kind compliments. Have a great rest of the week.
      Cheers,
      Ruth

  7. Ruth Zubairu

    March 1, 2016 at 7:48 pm

    Hi Muba,
    I can just imagine it. Hahaha.
    I got these tips from things I did right which helped me and things in retrospect, I should have done to avoid stress.
    Most people just stop at making budgets. Planning an event especially weddings involve more than arranging the halls and sourcing for vendors.
    I’m so glad this post would be very helpful for all who would be involved in making arrangements for a marriage ceremony.
    Just so you know, African marriages are a joint family thing, too. *smiles*
    Do have yourself a splendid week.
    Cheers,
    Ruth

  8. Mi Muba

    March 1, 2016 at 6:45 pm

    Hi Ruth

    A memories-recalling post for married people. I remember how I suffered because of not taking rest and just doing arrangements of my marriage ceremony. So later on I had to take bed rest for a few days; hahaha. Will never forget that funny situation.

    All the points you mentioned are really things-to-do or rather things to must do because at the time of main ceremony so many things get panicky and sometimes both bride and groom have to volunteer for managing the things.

    Many thanks for sharing this very helpful post for those especially who just gonna marry and also for parents who have to make arrangements of marriage ceremony of their kids as it mostly happens in joint family system of eastern cultures.

    Have a super successful rest of the week.

  9. Babanature

    March 1, 2016 at 5:18 pm

    Hello Ruth and welcome to Harleena’s blog…

    When I did my wedding, I and my wife already know what we wanted. I small wedding with Just our family and close friends..

    Doing it big is okay but the smart move is doing it to your pocket rate.

    You have shared some tips that is well noted and needs the share it can get 🙂

    Have a blessed week both of you…

    • Ruth Zubairu

      March 1, 2016 at 7:30 pm

      Hi Babanature,
      Thanks for lending your voice.
      The whole point of planning a wedding is doing it within your means. And being debt-free at the end of the day. So you mustn’t do it big. *winks*
      There’s nothing as bad as a new couple beginning their life together paying off loans for months.
      Thanks for the share.
      Have a fulfilling week.

  10. Swadhin Agrawal

    March 1, 2016 at 10:37 am

    Hi Ruth,
    Excellently well-done post.
    Like Carolyn ma’am said above, this is a good post for any bog celebration or occasion in our lives. Keeping the family’s anticipation and desires in mind is so very essential. This is a mistake everyone makes by taking the occasion only for themselves and forgetting the emotion of others behind the event.
    Yes, in today’s world, budget is also a must-see factor.

    Keep the good work up.
    Have a great week ahead!
    -Swadhin

    • Ruth Zubairu

      March 1, 2016 at 7:26 pm

      Hi Swadhin,
      Thanks for your kind compliments.
      Budgeting and managing other stakeholders are super key to the sanity of anyone planning an event, or in this case a wedding.
      So glad you enjoyed this post.
      Have a great week too.
      Cheers,
      Ruth

  11. Ryan Biddulph

    February 29, 2016 at 8:43 pm

    Hi Ruth and Harleena,

    That check list note is huge. When Kelli and I got married last year we made a check list of all stuff to complete before the big day. Adds order to your mind which helps you proceed calmly through the process, versus running around like a chicken with your head cut off, LOL.

    Super tips!

    Ryan

    • Ruth Zubairu

      April 8, 2016 at 12:05 am

      Hi Ryan,
      Sorry for the late reply.
      You really saved yourself a lot of headache.
      Running around with your head cut off is bad in so many ways. LOL.
      It adds order and helps keep you healthy.
      You will definitely do no good if you are sick and worn-out.
      Thanks for your comment.

  12. Arise

    February 29, 2016 at 7:57 pm

    Our marriage… Their wedding. That totally resonates with me. In our case, we were both the first children of our parents.

    So we just respected ourselves, did our own bit and got out of their way. And we have all lived happily ever after.

    Nice piece, Ruth. Thanks.

    • Ruth Zubairu

      April 8, 2016 at 12:02 am

      Hahahaha.
      You just respected yourselves abi?
      Nice one. No time for wahala. (stress)
      It is very important to consider family when planning. A lot of conflict will be avoided.
      Compromise like you said, is key.
      Thanks for your comment.
      Sorry i replied late. *coversface*

  13. Carolyn Nicander Mohr

    February 29, 2016 at 6:24 pm

    Hi Ruth, Excellent advice for not only to plan a wedding but any big event in your life. We never know when we might be called upon to plan a big event, for ourselves and for others.

    I actually have planned two weddings for myself, one I called off as the date drew closer. I realized I was focused more on the event of the wedding day than the marriage for the rest of my life! I cancelled the wedding, even though it was a very scary thing to do. I’ve never regretted that decision.

    When I married my husband, I actually didn’t stress about the wedding day. I knew that it wasn’t as important as the marriage. The day of my wedding I felt an intense sense of peace knowing I was doing the right thing.

    Your steps are fantastic and a great guide of how to make the most of the big day. But also realize that even if things go wrong, the most important thing is ending up with a marriage to last a lifetime.

    • Ruth

      February 29, 2016 at 6:53 pm

      Hi Carolyn,

      Your comment is so spot on. Very true. The wedding is not as important as the marriage.

      It really shouldn’t be about the event (wedding) but about the lifetime journey that marriage is. That’s in fact what my giveaway was supposed to be.
      hahaha. Still working on it though. It’s important to prepare even harder for marriage. Sadly, many are ignorant of this, or don’t think it’s important.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience too.
      Have a great day.

  14. Ruth

    February 29, 2016 at 5:57 pm

    Hi Vinay and Harleena,
    Thank you so much for having me here.
    I planned my wedding myself and over 1200 people were in attendance. With lots of help and good friends, we were able to pull it off.
    And I wasn’t a Bridezilla. Hahahaha.
    I hope these tips help a bride-to-be, or even a wedding planner. Who knows?
    Thanks again.

    • Harleena Singh

      February 29, 2016 at 6:09 pm

      Hi Ruth,

      Welcome to Aha!NOW, and it’s wonderful to see you on the other side, as our guest this time. I could make out it had to be your voice of experience speaking here – no wonder you could write so well about it all. 🙂

      I’m sure these tips would help anyone plan their wedding as well, or even those wedding planners or anyone thinking of getting married.

      Thanks for being here, and we hand over the fort to you now – enjoy the limelight by taking up the comments and interacting with our readers 🙂

      • Ruth

        February 29, 2016 at 6:22 pm

        Oh, really?
        I didn’t know it came across.
        They sure are really helpful and practical too.
        Thanks again for giving me the “head-chair” at aha!now today.
        I look forward to making new friends.

        • Harleena Singh

          February 29, 2016 at 6:31 pm

          Loud and clear indeed!

          All our guests have that privilege, and it’s your day, so have fun 🙂




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11 Ways To Make Sure That Your Wedding Day Is Not Your Doomsday