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5 Best Ways to Find Love That Lasts

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Couple show that it is easy to find love

We all want love in our lives, but how do you find love that lasts? Isn’t this the question that bothers most of us?

Whether you are dating, single, or married, don’t you want to find true love that lasts a lifetime?

There is actually no right or wrong way of finding love. Love actually, just happens! You really don’t need to find it πŸ™‚

I’ve been getting a lot of messages from my readers, asking me to write on this topic. So, for those of you who want to know ways on how to find love in their lives, hope this post helps.

Love is beautiful, and as with all things of the heart – there is magic in finding love! The best thing you can do is become a lovable person – a love teacher, and when that happens – true love happens πŸ™‚

Many people struggle with love because they don’t understand it. I guess it’s not their fault because none of us grew up with parents who were relationship experts, nor did we study books on relationship advice!

For most of us, seeking love has been an adventure in trial and errors. Some of course have managed to find real love, while others sometimes mistake infatuation for true love. What is your kind of love?

Let me begin by clarifying the difference between the two.

β€œLove is not an equation, it is not a contract, and it is not a happy ending. Love is the slate under the chalk, the ground that buildings rise, and the oxygen in the air. It is the place you come back to, no matter where you’re headed.” ~ Jodi Picoult

Infatuation and True Love

Infatuation is when you tend to get that “butterflies in my stomach’ kind of feeling! I’m sure it’s happened with most of you!!

When you are infatuated, you aren’t able to stay away from the person you think you love. You feel that you’ve finally found the love of your life – and a person of your dreams.

You get a euphoric feeling when you’re with the person. And when you’re away from them, you’re either very happy or excited for meeting them the next time or you’re completely down in the dumps if you’re unable to see them.

However, infatuation doesn’t last forever. Sooner or later, you realize this unrealistic feeling and come back to your baseline level of happiness.

If however, you’re still together, which is rare, you both advance into the β€˜true love’ stage, which is also called unconditional love.

You might ask – what’s unconditional love.

The true or real love, which has only one form – is unconditional, pure, and simple.

It’s simply the act of giving. It’s about feeling love within yourself, and then pouring it out to another.

You don’t try to get anything in return – you just give. And ironically, this way you also receive love!

Although I’d mentioned it in detail in my earlier post about – Understanding True Love Between Two People, but repeating it in simple words, unconditional love is the experience of loving another person without conditions.

You love them for who and what they are – simple, isn’t it?

But finding love that is unconditional isn’t easy!

That’s because you lay many conditions before you really start loving the person, don’t you? One minute you express your love to someone, and the very next it vanishes!

I think when the real reason you love someone changes, then the love tends to fade away and is replaced by negative thoughts or ill-feelings.

This causes havoc in relationship because you expect your partner to please you always. When that doesn’t happen, you try to control him/her so that he/she gives you the love you want – isn’t it?

But things don’t work that ways!

Most of us are trained to love people conditionally, and that includes me too! So, it takes a little time and effort to love someone beyond their drawbacks or flaws, and go beyond what all they do for us.

Nevertheless, if you are really committed to seeing love that goes beyond conditions in yourself, and in others – you will find love that outlives anything you’ve ever experienced.

Here are some wonderful steps to falling in love you might like. πŸ™‚

There are of course certain ways to find love as mentioned below, which if you follow, you might succeed in finding love that’s unconditional.

β€œLove isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.” ~ Loretta Young

A boy and a girl dating at a public place

Ways to Find Love

You’d find many ways of finding love that last Β online. In fact, the Internet is full of such posts or dating sites. But these ways are just what I feel might work for most of you – I’ve used some also to find my love πŸ™‚

β€œLove may be harder to find in some people, but when they do love you know it must be something marvelous.” ~ Criss Jami

1- Know yourself very well

When you enter into a relationship or start looking for a partner, you have many expectations already in your mind – like how the person should look and behave, or how you want your relationship to be, etc.

Your relationship crosses various stages, and sometimes your expectations might become unrealistic. So, unless you know yourself, and understand what you want in a partner, you cannot really proceed.

You might have your own choice regarding the height, weight, occupation, intellect, and other qualities or specifications you look for in a partner.

While these traits are important for some people, you should go beyond them when you are looking for love. Don’t bind or find love based only on these traits.

Tip on finding love: Forget about how the person looks because looks are deceptive. Forget about what your friend’s, parents, or others think about what should be right – ask yourself whether the relationship feels right to you, because YOU matter the most in your relationship.

2- Reach out and meet people

The best way you can meet people is by going out and making friends because friendship is the first step to finding love, which should be based on care and trust.

You need to be committed and have ample time in hand when you make friends. When you want to find love, you DO need to spend time with people who matter to you.

You can do this by accepting invitations to visit places, sport events, parties, movies, concerts, or anywhere you like. The main idea is to get to know each other better, which seldom works from home.

Tip on finding love:Don’t be judgmental when you make friends and when you’re looking for love. Look beyond the picture and try to understand the real person. You don’t have to be attracted to a person instantly. Let things take time, and slowly they begin taking shape.

3- Let people know you are available

When you are finding love, you need to let others know you are available so that as and when the opportunity arises, you can take things further.

You could work on yourself to look better. For example, some people like to dress and look the best. Without making yourself uncomfortable, wear clean and well-styled clothes.

Be confident, honest, sincere, and remain your true self. Maintain a pleasant expression, and a dash of cologne or perfume will do you good too! πŸ™‚

When you are conversing, be attentive. Learn to listen when your turn comes, and ask a lot of questions to show interest if you like. Show people you care for them by mentioning their name.

Tips on finding love: Just be your true self, without being artificial. Express your keenness to get to know the other person by showing your care for them, and what they like or dislike. Be a giver more than a receiver.

A man and a woman finding love in each orther

4- Consider dating services

Nowadays, everything happens literally online! You might like to read a post I’d written about – Does Online Social Networking Friendship Really Work to understand more about it.

So, you can even consider online dating to find who is available in, or around your area.

Or even singles events, and matchmaking services like speed dating work well for some. Some people prefer singles events as it increases their chances of meeting others they’re compatible with, though it can turn out to be costly.

However, don’t be too judgmental or picky, just by judging someone’s profile or picture. Those can be an eye-wash.

If you really want to find love, you need to give the other person a fair chance, just as you’d like to be given if you were in his/her place, isn’t it?

You could even join groups for singles to mingle with other people, or look for love in bars and clubs if you like.

However, it’s better to expand your social circles, meet new people, and participate in new events and let things happen for themselves instead.

But if you are looking for a long-term relationship or true love, then find places where you can talk with each other to know each other better.

Always remember to be honest about your flaws and shortcomings also. You’d like the person to love and accept you with your flaws, which would avoid relationship issues and bond you better.

Always beware of relationship red flags that indicate a relationship isn’t going to lead to love that lasts. Trust your instincts and feelings. Here are some red-flagged indicators –

β€’ Instead of talking to you, your partner’s attention is on other things like the TV or phone, there is thus – no verbal communication.

β€’ One partner doesn’t like the other spending time with family or friends, or outside their relationship – they are jealous.

β€’ Both of you only communicate, talk, or make love when one or both of you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

β€’ Either of the partner isn’t ready to make a commitment.

β€’ One of the partners always controls the other, or stops him/her from having any independent feelings, thoughts, or won’t let him/her take action.

β€’ The relationship is only sexual based, without any other interest or love for the other person.

If you feel ashamed, insecure, unhappy, or undervalued, it might be time to reconsider your relationship.

If you are rejected, don’t take it personally. Instead, be grateful that it happened before the relationship went further ahead. Don’t dwell much on it, instead, learn from the experience.

Yes, it’s very normal to feel hurt, disappointed, sad, and resentful when you are rejected.

So, acknowledge those feelings without suppressing them – take the lesson onto the next, and then, accept and move on!

You might like to read another post written on – How To Heal Β a Relationship When love Hurts, if you are heart-broken.

Tips on finding love: When you are dating, be your honest and true self. Spend time to know the real person before you commit. Be very sure before you proceed further with the relationship.

5- Move ahead

Once you feel that the person is right for you, you need to nurture the relationship and take it from a casual dating relationship, to a more loving and committed one.

You would need to be open with the other person without being pushy, and change yourself to become better if required. Remember that everyone has insecurities and other issues, so take care and be patient!

All this requires time and effort on your part, if you are really keen to proceed further in the relationship. Don’t try to get too personal at this stage.

Messaging and texting may be the best and simplest form of communication, though it’s best to talk face to face if possible. Learn the art of expressing your love to your loved one. πŸ™‚

With time, perhaps your partner will change, and so would your expectations from each other. Perhaps what you wanted initially from your relationship isn’t what you want now.

Often, after the initial romance has faded, partners start taking each other for granted, or the love that once ways, begins to die. If you want the love to remain, in any relationship, you need to work on it.

Chalk out things you like doing together and spend some time, even if you are busy or stressed, for both of you to bond better.

Remember, you need to talk and openly communicate with each other. Your partner possibly cannot read your mind, so don’t expect the unexpected from him/her.

So, tell each other how you feel, and share your fears, needs, desires, likes, dislikes so that your bond deepens.

Tip on finding love: Falling in love is the most beautiful experience. If you want to find love, learn to be a loving person first. To love someone means to give more than you receive.

β€œThose that go searching for love, only manifest their own loveless-ness. And the loveless never find love, only the loving find love. And they never have to seek for it.” ~ D. H. Lawrence

Every relationship changes over time – it goes through the usual ups and downs, and that is alright.

However, a healthy relationship should bring out the best in you – by making you a better and happier person, who is more empathic, generous, and kind.

Keep in mind that love is built on mutual trust, affection, and deep understanding. It all starts when two people are ready and want to pursue the relationship.

You’ll get that β€˜happy feeling’ the moment you are in love, and it comes from within – something that you can make out. Has such a feeling ever happened to you before?

β€œLove can only be found through the act of loving.” ~ Paulo Coelho

So, if you are looking for love – look no further! You will find your love if you follow the above mentioned ways. Get up and get going πŸ™‚

Over to you –
Have you ever been in love? How did it feel? Do you think finding love is easy? What ways to find love would you suggest? Share your experiences in the comments below.

Photo Credit: Freedigitalphoto



Last Updated on: February 2nd, 2015


Profile photo of Harleena Singh
Harleena Singh is a positive thinker and a freelance writer. She loves to write inspiring and thought provoking posts on self-improvement, family, relationships, health, and other aspects of life. She's also a blogger, who loves to share her blogging knowledge and experiences on her personal blog, HarleenaSingh.com.

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123 Comments - Read and share thoughts

  1. Debbie

    November 26, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    I really like this Harleena.

    I have found that you really know that the love you feel for someone and they feel for you is right when you can look at each other and say, “Our love is like a bird in a cage with the door open. What that means is that I love you enough that if you need to leave me it is OK. You love the other person enough that you are willing to let them go if that is what is going to make them really happy”. As you put it that is unconditional love.

    Yes, it took me a while to find that great love, but I have. True love makes you a better person. Your mate brings the best out in you and is never controling.

    Thanks again Harleena and have a wonderful week.
    Debbie

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      Harleena Singh

      November 26, 2013 at 7:56 pm

      Hi Debbie,

      Glad you liked the post and could relate to it πŸ™‚

      I loved what you mentioned about love being free, and it’s like that famous saying by Richard Bach -“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.” Yes, love should be free, and it’s certainly not a binding on anyone.

      Loving each other unconditionally is how it should be, though I know it’s easier said than done. But we can all try for that kind of a love, isn’t it? Nice to know that you’ve eventually found yours, Debbie.

      I agree with you there, true love DOES bring out the best in you and I think, as you rightly mentioned, half the credit lies with our partners who make us better people.

      Thanks for sharing your pearls of wisdom with us. Have a nice week as well πŸ™‚

  2. Manu Jamwal

    November 26, 2013 at 7:56 pm

    Nice post,

    I think love is the greatest thing and everybody needs to fall in love at least one time in their life because without love life is nothing. First love is the last love as per my knowledge. No one forgets their first love sometime conditions are arising you cannot run your love relation any more. In an Indian traditional culture, although I respect the Indian culture, but its form in caste-ism is too much now…… while any different caste girl or boy or vice versa love each other, they can’t get married…. why is this??????.

    Why they don’t understand its not necessary for the girl or boy’s future.So I ask love is great and teach more and more in your life but it really hurts too much!!!!

    Thanks for adding such a wonderful post here.

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      Harleena Singh

      November 26, 2013 at 8:12 pm

      Hi Manu,

      Thanks for liking the post πŸ™‚

      Absolutely! Love makes the world go round as they say, and so it does! I agree about the first love being the most special one and the one you can’t forget, though it’s not necessarily the last one. Many people find their true love much later, especially once they realize that their first love was perhaps not love, but infatuation.

      Yes, the caste system does prevail in many areas but nowadays it’s lessened a great deal, or perhaps it’s still there in the villages and smaller towns as compared to the metros. Parents and the society at large, still prefer to marry their children within their own caste and stick with their culture, for reasons best known to them. But real love breaks all boundaries, and is never limited within such restrictions, isn’t it? Those who want to, still find ways and get married πŸ™‚

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views πŸ™‚

  3. Manu Jamwal

    November 26, 2013 at 8:23 pm

    Yes your one line its…. really great. Some people get their true love after a long time. I forgot to add this line in my last comment. Love is not love if there is no intention on both sides. Sometime people play with each other emotions and just leave this. But if there is love and care from both side then its hard or painful to forget each other.

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      Harleena Singh

      November 26, 2013 at 8:31 pm

      Yes, finding love, or shall I say true or real love takes time. Many find their’s while others don’t, or perhaps they love their partners and with time their bond gets stronger.

      Playing with each others emotions is wrong of course, but I think when you are in love, no side can truly see what’s right or wrong, because love is blind – you just love the other person, isn’t it? And when the bonds break, or the relationship doesn’t work out – it does hurt a great deal as you never expected it to happen and end like it does. Yes, it becomes hard to forget each other, but time is a big healer. With time, you do get over and learn to move on in life, and find someone better. πŸ™‚

      Thanks once again πŸ™‚

  4. Balroop Singh

    November 26, 2013 at 8:54 pm

    Hi Harleena

    I think love just happens…nobody can follow a chosen path. Your tips are undoubtedly perfect for those who are trying to look for a mate of their dreams or who try to nurture love. True love doesn’t know any boundaries and is very rare. Even true lovers get tired of each other if they don’t keep renewing it from time to time.

    Love lasts only if it is based on mutual respect, if we have a caring, non interfering attitude, if we let go little misunderstandings and are ready to forgive each other. Love is a two way process, both the partners have to understand this.

    Wishing you a great Thanksgiving!

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      Harleena Singh

      November 26, 2013 at 9:44 pm

      Hi Balroop,

      You are SO right…love just happens, and no one can tell anyone else how to find love or how to love another person. You need to experience it yourself. But as I mentioned in the post, many readers had been asking me about this one question, which I thought to write about, basically for those who are pretty new to love, or wondering how to go about it.

      Yes indeed, true lovers also need to keep working on their love, and for that matter – you, me, or anyone else needs to work at love all the time to keep it alive and fresh. Some don’t, but then I think it just fades away till one fine day they realize they need to get back to the base root level.

      I agree with you about love being a two way process, and there needs to be complete understanding, accompanied by mutual trust and respect from both partners, or things don’t work. But we should be more giving I think and with time, the other person also starts giving, just in case one of the partners isn’t as giving.

      Thanks for stopping by, and wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving as well πŸ™‚

  5. Himanshu

    November 26, 2013 at 9:27 pm

    Hello Harleena,

    Again a unique article.Well, I don’t know more much about Love because I have not fall in love yet. I think, we should start looking for love ones when we are able to manage our relationship.
    Last loves only happens, when both the persons are always true to each other. In other words, they have shared all the things without any problem.

    I want to give suggestion to all love birds (whether men/women), if your love ones don’t want to continue their relationship with you then please don’t take steps like suicide, hurting your loved ones through acids attack etc.

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      Harleena Singh

      November 26, 2013 at 9:57 pm

      Hi Himanshu,

      Oh yes…love just happens without you trying for it, and that’s the best way I feel. If you haven’t fallen in love then just let it be, it will happen one day when that magical moment would come into your life too πŸ™‚

      That is the ideal love when both sides are loving and share themselves with each other, which is tough to find nowadays in people who fall in love. You raised a good point about not taking drastic steps like suicide or hurting each other if your love is rejected because such things do happen.

      I think if a relationship doesn’t work out, you should just accept that fact (after trying to talk things out to know the reasons and if they can’t be worked on), and in a way be thankful that you got to know of it before you went deeper into the relationship, isn’t it? It would have hurt more later. The answer lies to move ahead in life. Yes, it takes time, but once you learn to let go, you are more at peace with yourself.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us πŸ™‚

  6. Christy Garrett

    November 26, 2013 at 9:32 pm

    Great tips and suggestions. I actually met my husband online. My best advice is to never settle for second best, go after what you want.

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      Harleena Singh

      November 26, 2013 at 10:04 pm

      Hi Christy,

      Glad you liked these small tips and ways to find love πŸ™‚

      Ah…that’s wonderful indeed! Online dating or love work very rarely but you are a living example of one such case that did work. I think what matters most is that both sides click and get to know each other, and the Internet is one big way to find your mate too, though you have to be very careful about the person on the other side. Yes – go for the best, nothing else! And I think your heart is the best guide there πŸ™‚

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us πŸ™‚

  7. Babanature

    November 26, 2013 at 9:49 pm

    Hello Harleena,

    I love it when I do read about love :).

    One of the best way to also find love is by meeting that lady/man in a cool spot, movies and more…I did find my love way back in school so i’ll also recommend that search for love at your school or neighbor can also be a good idea :).

    But to tell you the truth, I don’t believe in online dating. The best way is to go out there and find yourself a classy soul mate. (Hope I was not out of point)

    Thanks dear friend and do have a beautiful week ahead πŸ™‚

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      Harleena Singh

      November 26, 2013 at 10:14 pm

      Hi Babanature,

      Love IS beautiful, isn’t it? And it’s good to know that you love reading about it too – so different from what you write about πŸ˜‰

      Yes, meeting up with your partner is required, and if you are seeking love, you need to move around to various places and be visible. Ah…in school!! Were you that young? And did she turn out to be your life-partner eventually too? It surely is a good idea, but who will study then!!

      I agree with you there, though just as Christy mentioned, she found her love online. So, it just depends what works for each person. However, you need to be very careful with online dating because you can never know the real person behind the scene unless you meet and interact with them in person, which you should do, before you finally commit.

      Thanks for stopping by, and have a nice week ahead as well πŸ™‚

  8. Amandah

    November 26, 2013 at 10:43 pm

    Lovely post!

    I agree with, #1- Know yourself very well.

    Let’s face it; you may change and what you look for in a partner may change. I know I’ve changed and what I look for in a guy has completely changed. The men I am interested in today are not like the ones I was interested in years ago, to a certain degree. I’m still attracted to creative types; however, I’m also attracted to business and entrepreneur minded men. And they don’t have to have the longish rock star hair! πŸ™‚

    I believe finding love can be easy, but you must be ready for it. You may say you are ready, but deep down you could still be wounded from a past relationship. Or you could suffer from low self-esteem and confidence. Be honest. There’s no right or wrong answer.

    If you’re ready for love, get a new haircut and buy some new clothes. When you look good, you feel good. Be open to meeting people and develop friendships. Also, don’t be too disappointed if you meet someone and he/she is already attached. Believe me, I know this sucks, big time. πŸ™‚ But you can use the feelings you feel as a catalyst to find the one meant or you. And who’s to say that the one you met will become available. It could happen, you never know. πŸ˜€

    Finally, make a list of qualities and character traits you look for in a partner and then check your list to see if you have those some qualities and character traits. You may be surprised by the answer.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      November 27, 2013 at 10:04 am

      Hi Amandah,

      You make a good point over here. We change and so do our interests, likes and even the priorities. And this is also one of the reasons that we see many couples separating and getting divorced. However, when we talk of true love, we mean soul-mates.

      I believe when you love a person to the core, you’re directly connected to the soul of the person. Nothing else matters and superficial changes do not affect the loving relationship. In such cases, no matter how much you or your partner change in terms of personality, you still admire each other for your values and the person that you are.

      I totally agree with you that you need to be emotionally and mentally ready to fall in and find love. If you try to engage in a new relationship without going through a process of healing the wounds from a previous relationship, there are chances that you can fall in trouble or repeat the same mistakes or receive the same treatment that made you leave the first relationship, but it all also depends on the kind of person you’re.

      I believe that if you’re confident about yourself and love yourself for what you’re, it makes finding love and loving others easier. If someone you like isn’t available, move on and don’t think about it much. And you’re right that you can use your feelings as a catalyst to find your real love.

      Great suggestion of having a checklist of qualities and character traits. And, you’re so right in that sometimes we tend to ask for and expect too much and fail to see if we even deserve that or if we too have that we look for and what the other person expects to find in us.

      Thanks for stopping by to share your wonderful thoughts. I appreciate it, and wish you a happy thanksgiving as well πŸ™‚

      • Amandah

        November 27, 2013 at 6:30 pm

        Hi Harleena,

        I have a different viewpoint of the word “soulmate.” I have to agree with HayHouse and other authors who believe that the word “soulmate” just doesn’t apply to ‘romantic’ love. Your mom and dad could be your “soulmates.” Meaning: they’re in your ‘soul family.’

        I also believe that when you marry someone, ‘like attracts like.’ So… if you attract a man/woman who mirrors you, you could be in for a rude awakening. Perhaps somewhere down the road you realize you missed the ‘red flags,’ especially when it comes to emotional, mental and physical abuse. This is a sticky situation. On the flip side, maybe you needed a particular relationship to ‘show’ you how you can ‘wake up’ from your long sleep. Then and only then can and will you find true love.

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          Harleena Singh

          November 27, 2013 at 9:41 pm

          Hi Amandah,

          Yes, I remember the discussion that we had on this point when I had written the soulmate post. And, I totally agree with you that anybody can be your soulmate and the use of this term is not restricted and limited to lovers or partners. However, here we’re specifically talking about lovers, and using the term “soulmate” in that reference.

          You’re right about turning a blind eye and missing the red flags. It happens in most relationships that you sleep in your ignorance and some of us wake up only when we experience a real relationship.

          Thanks once again πŸ™‚

  9. Kumar Gauraw

    November 26, 2013 at 11:24 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    I am amazed with your interest in diverse subjects and ability to create interesting content no matter what the subject is.

    Speaking of find love and “true love”, I think there is nothing called “finding true love” as I see it. If we seek “true love”, we will return home empty. But if we set out to “be the true love” for somebody else, then it’s much easier to get the “true love” easily. Don’t you think?

    Relationship is about being honest, being a man or woman of integrity and being the example of what is a true love.

    Just my two cents πŸ™‚

    Thank you for sharing your tips on this topic.

    Regards,
    Kumar

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      Harleena Singh

      November 27, 2013 at 12:00 pm

      Hi Kumar,

      Ah…thanks for saying that! I guess being a freelance writer my work is such that I write on almost anything πŸ™‚

      I agree with you there – love actually happens when the time’s ripe and when the right person comes along. Whether it’s the true one or not, one can never really say, isn’t it?

      I liked what you said – if we become the true love for someone else, it’s much easier to receive true love. That’s exactly how it should be, as written in the post that – we should be more willing to change and give ourselves, before seeking it from others.

      Thanks for stopping by and adding your valuable two cents. Wishing you a very Happy Thanksgiving (just in case you celebrate it!) πŸ™‚

  10. Corina Ramos

    November 27, 2013 at 1:08 am

    I’m so glad I’m not single :).

    What I thought was true love turned out to be something else. It was truly hard especially when it’s for a second time because I had my guard up for fear of being hurt.

    When we do find love we have to work at it to keep it alive. Communication, affection, making time for each other and not going to bed angry are ways we can do that.

    Wonderful post as usual Harleena! Hope you’re having a great week my dear friend!

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      Harleena Singh

      November 27, 2013 at 12:46 pm

      Hi Corina,

      I ditto that too πŸ™‚

      I can understand what you mean, and the second time one tends to be more careful, which in a way looses the charm and magic of really falling in love as they say, because you are on your guard.

      Absolutely! Love needs to be worked on constantly, and that’s something I’ve even heard a lot of older couples say, so I guess we are on the right track πŸ™‚

      I liked the simple ways you mentioned to keep the love fresh and evergreen. My granny used to always say never to go to bed angry, and if you are upset with your partner, make up before you sleep – words of wisdom, aren’t they?

      Thanks for stopping by, and have a wonderful Thanksgiving week as well πŸ™‚

      • Corina Ramos

        December 8, 2013 at 2:03 am

        Yes, I like simple. My hubby can come home with a new pen and just knowing that he thought of me is good enough for me. Love doesn’t have to be complicated at all or full of expectations.

        Grandmothers are wise aren’t they. My grandmother had a lot of sayings and some were direct like comparing boys to bees, lol.

        I had a great Thanksgiving and getting ready for Christmas. Although I haven’t started shopping yet :).

        I hope you’re having a great weekend my friend! See you in the socialsphere :).

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          Harleena Singh

          December 9, 2013 at 3:33 pm

          I SO agree with you there Corina. I think there is so much more in these simple ways to express love than the other ones, isn’t it?

          They sure were, and all that they shared were words of wisdom that we remember today.

          I know the holiday season is in full swing at your end, and I can just about imagine how’d it all be once you really get started with your shopping list…and the decorations, besides the other stuff.

          Yes, a busy weekend it was catching up with comments, but always good to have a breather.

          Thanks once again, and enjoy your holiday preparations. πŸ™‚

  11. Hiten

    November 27, 2013 at 3:13 am

    Hi Harleena,

    This was a brilliant post, indeed!

    In particular, I really appreciated the advice you shared about being a loving person and giving more than receiving. When we do this, almost like magic, others love us, and out of those we might just find the special one for us!

    Thank you.

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      Harleena Singh

      November 27, 2013 at 12:53 pm

      Hi Hiten,

      Glad you liked the post πŸ™‚

      I do believe in giving I guess, so I mentioned that. The more you give, the more you receive, isn’t it? But nowadays, things really don’t work that ways for most people because they believe in give and take. While a little is required, I think the happiness you find in giving is unmatchable. Yes, you might just find your true love, who loves you for who you are too πŸ™‚

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views. Happy Thanksgiving, in case you celebrate it πŸ™‚

  12. maxwell ivey

    November 27, 2013 at 6:49 am

    Hello,

    This is a very timely post. Since the holidays seem to affect us single people the hardest we are all interested in advice on finding that special someone. When I first started reading this post I thought that what you said about love finding you is like what they say about pets. They say you don’t choose a dog or cat they choose you. Smile I would be very lucky to find a woman that I could share the same kind of unconditional love I have with penny. Hope that comes out right. So, as a blind person does anyone on here have any different suggestions on how I could meet this person.

    I’m very active on social media but it’s mostly for business. I don’t have a driver and public transportation is nonexistent here. And as far as physical standards I have often said that I’m looking for a woman with a sweet voice an even temper and a valid license. I’m 6ft5 and will never be considered small so height would be good but not necessary. So, what have some of you done to meet people. Have you had any luck with meeting people online? What sites or groups would you recommend. Thanks for letting me share and ask for help here. Take care, max

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      Harleena Singh

      November 27, 2013 at 2:23 pm

      Welcome to the blog Maxwell!

      I can well understand the impact such long holidays have on those who are single. I liked what you mentioned about pets choosing us, instead of the other way round…lol…quite true πŸ™‚

      I wish it were as easy as finding the love you share with your pet, but I wouldn’t say it’s impossible. I guess one just waits for that right kind of person to come along, without stopping to live the life you live, isn’t it? I’m sure if others are reading your comment, they’d stop by to answer your question about where else could you find the love of your life.

      All I know is what I mentioned in the post. Other than that, as you mentioned you’re very active on the social media sites, that in itself is the best place to find like-minded people. You’ve shared your bio, so if anyone wants, you never know they might link up with you right here as well πŸ˜‰

      Your question is addressed to the readers of the blog, and I wish they stop by to reply to your comment too, based on their experiences. I think online dating sites work well, though after a few meetings do make sure you meet the person in real life before you proceed further with the relationship, just to be sure it’s really the same person!! I wonder if you tried to Google up the dating sites – there are many mentioned online that you might want to join.

      Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you find the answers to your questions here as well. Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving, and don’t make it a lonely one – catch up with friend’s, even if it’s online πŸ™‚

      • maxwell ivey

        November 28, 2013 at 3:32 am

        Hello Harleena,

        Thanks for the warm welcome. I am hanging out with the family so not lonely but I know a lot of singles are this time of year. And many face the stress of facing the family still single at the holidays. I am on several online dating sites including a few on Facebook and Pinterest. Pinterest has one for people with pets. smile. That reminds me need to get a pic of my crazy dog penny for that board.

        I have lots of friends in the blogging world and hopefully one of them will have a new suggestion or maybe want to get to know me. That’s why I put myself out there in my comment hoping that would be okay with you. I find bloggers are very friendly and helpful, and I am careful about meeting people from online sites. So if anyone knows of a nice sweet woman who would like to get to know a totally blind 6 ft 5 250 pound white male from Texas who sells amusement equipment online and has a blog let me know. I can work anywhere where there is Internet so relocating for the right one is definitely possible. Thanks again for the welcome and have a happy thanksgiving, max

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          Harleena Singh

          November 29, 2013 at 8:33 pm

          You are most welcome Maxwell πŸ™‚

          Good to know that you are spending the holidays with your family, unlike the other singles who aren’t as lucky enough.

          I didn’t know that Pinterest too could be a great place for online dating sites and services, but yes, it’s good to know about it. I’m sure all your friend’s would help you find the right person in your life – keep the faith and have patience as they say, for the right one to come along πŸ™‚

          Thanks once again, and Happy Thanksgiving πŸ™‚

  13. Sylviane Nuccio

    November 27, 2013 at 7:32 am

    Hi Harleena,

    I’ve learned so much about love and why we do or don’t attract the person of our dreams these past few years.

    When I was younger, however, I had no clue, and therefore I couldn’t ever get the right man to love me. At this point in my life I choose to be single, and have no longer a need for a man πŸ™‚ It just totally evaporated, but boy I wasn’t always that way. I was so needy that it was a catastrophe when I’d found someone.

    One very important thing that I’ve learned later in life is that if you don’t love yourself it’s simply impossible to attract a person that will love and respect you. So in short, love starts from ourselves. If we love and respect ourselves we are going to attract the right person that will truly love us. If not, we most likely won’t.

    Thanks for writing about this great topic.

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      Harleena Singh

      November 27, 2013 at 6:27 pm

      Hi Sylviane,

      I’m sure you must have, and that learning must’ve helped you so much as well πŸ™‚

      Not your fault at all. I think when we are young, it’s more of infatuation we go in for than real love, that only comes with time and once we know that person better, or perhaps if you know someone for many years and then get married, which doesn’t really happen because the other person usually isn’t that patient.

      I know your choice of preference now, and sometimes I feel singles are better off too as compared to the ones who are married and with kids πŸ˜‰ I can well understand the earlier phase of your life, and sometimes to cover up for the heartbreak of an earlier relationship we jump into a new one without knowing whether it’s right or wrong for us, isn’t it?

      That’s a very important point indeed. If you know and love yourself well enough, then alone can you attract another person to love you – so it actually all starts from you, isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. πŸ™‚

  14. Shefali

    November 27, 2013 at 8:09 am

    Hey Harleen,

    What an interesting topic. Seems like you can write about almost anything. Loved that you have a step by step approach to falling in love. I agree with you, the first step has to be knowing yourself first. It is so important to respect yourself and understand your self worth before you go out and look for it in the world.

    That being said, I am so glad I am not looking for love or rather that I have already found it πŸ™‚

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      November 27, 2013 at 6:36 pm

      Hi Shefali,

      Glad you found the topic interesting, and yes, just as I was mentioning to Kumar – being a writer, I do manage to write on any topic with ease πŸ™‚

      I think if you know yourself well enough and know what you need, you can easily find the person you seek. Just as Sylviane added, you also need to love yourself, which is important as well so that you can love another person.

      It’s good you aren’t the kind who worries about finding love. I think when it happens naturally or on it’s own – that’s the best, isn’t it? Wish you the best with your love, whenever you find it πŸ™‚

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views πŸ™‚

  15. Perambur Kumar

    November 27, 2013 at 8:55 am

    Timely post for me for (2nd Love) ha ha ha,

    You’re too late Harleena – if you post this one say 10 years ago, I would have succeeded in my love. You’re not only best love now you’re too good in SEO too. I saw the h2 tags and h4 tags wow. Real SEO Experts learn from you. You always produce masterpieces. There is one director in Tamil Cinema his name is Shankar. I think you know that person. He gives success movie after movie. Not even single movie is a flop. Like him you are also giving hit post after hit post. This is something extra-ordinary. Indian Government announced Bharath Ratna to Sachin Tendulkar. If they give awards for blogging, then they’ll consider 100% your name for that. Have a Nice Day.

    Note : You made one mistake in the above post. You can give a hyperlink to my Google+ for the keywords Lovable Teacher. But you gave that to your older post.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      November 27, 2013 at 6:54 pm

      Hi Kumar,

      Lol…your comment surely made me laugh πŸ™‚

      Thank you for your kind words of appreciation. I should say I am a good student then if I am managing to follow the guidelines about the H2 H3 tags. Yes, sometimes it’s possible, while at other places you have to bold them at times depending on the text placement. I am certainly no SEO expert like you, but as I always say – a good learner.

      Ah…that’s kind of you to compare me to Shankar, I’ve only heard about him, not seen his work yet. But there is no hit after hit in these posts. They are just normal ones, but yes, written with all my heart and mind, and if we can do that and be happy and content at the end of the day for what we have done, we are all achievers I would say. That peaceful sleep after a good, hard-days work is worth all the effort, isn’t it?

      Bharat Ratna for blogging!! That would be THE day Kumar…lol…I am a small and ordinary blogger, but your words make me reach seventh heaven always. Yes, I should have linked your profile to such a teacher πŸ™‚

      Thanks for stopping by and making my day by your awesome comment πŸ™‚

  16. Raaja Anandhan

    November 27, 2013 at 9:27 am

    Awesome Post Mam.

    Love is Beautiful, It’s a feeling. We have to feel it.

    I like the sentence, “Love actually, Just Happens”. We don’t want to find it. If this world is full of love, it will be superb. There s no quarrel between countries, states, military etc. We don’t want any military forces to protect our country, if it is full of love between human being.

    In this world, Love is common for all living things, but the human having chance and power to express their love when compare to other living things. So, we have to utilize this power of love. We have to love all. We have to give utmost love to all. There s no living thing without this love, it may be pure or impure love.

    Thanks for sharing such a wonderful and lovely post.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      November 27, 2013 at 7:24 pm

      Hi Raaja,

      Nice to know that you liked the post. πŸ™‚

      Yes indeed, love IS beautiful and it’s only when you have love within you and can feel it, can you express it, isn’t it? Love happens without you having to run after it or seek it, that’s what I feel.

      Oh yes…if we speak of love between humans and different countries, the world would be such a peaceful and wonderful place to be in. Absolutely! We humans have the greatest power to express love, though animals too have their own way, but we have the power of doing so much more. I just wish more people would realize these facts and be more loving towards each other.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us πŸ™‚

  17. Sherman Smith

    November 27, 2013 at 9:38 am

    Hey Harleena,

    Way to go with this post! From my own experience, I don’t think it’s about finding love, but just noticing and being open to it. It’s law of attraction, which is really law of noticing. I remember this steve harvey quote which goes something like “Sometimes we miss a forest while looking for some trees.” A lot of us are blinded by the material wants instead of going deeper as you mentioned. We are more infactuated than we are in love, which is the unconditional love that our soul desire.

    Since I dance salsa, i can use dancing as an analogy. From what I noticed, I can see people who dance for show and entertainment, but I can really feel when someone is dancing from the soul whether I’m dancing with her or not. When you’re partner dancing, and you and your partner is dancing from the soul, the connection between the music to the both of you and to each other is powerful. Other than that, there is no good connection. The same goes with love. If you connect from the soul or spirit then the relationship will definitely start off strong!

    Thanks for sharing!

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      November 27, 2013 at 7:36 pm

      Hi Sherman,

      Yes, in a way that’s right too, which happens only when you are seeking love and keep your channels open, and thus allowing yourself to find the love, and be found in return πŸ™‚

      That surely was a lovely quote with a lot of meaning. I think the infatuation mostly takes the better of us, at least when we are young or initially fall in love, perhaps for the first time. Sometimes even later, people tend to go in for the physical appearance, instead of going deeper within to know the real person, which forms the base for any love relationship before it turns to true love.

      Ah…that sure is wonderful to know! Salsa must be so rejuvenating, and I liked the analogy you used here. I’ve seen a few couples dance the way you mentioned, and they do turn out to be winners each time, because there IS a very deep connection and you can make that out from the way they dance. It’s almost like their body and soul have united into one – awesome indeed! I agree about love being the same way, though it’s tough for both sides to really start off from the soul right away. I think it takes time, and even if one partner really wants a soul connection and tries his/her best, there are no guarantees the other will. Perhaps that stage comes a little later once they know each other better πŸ™‚

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing such a wonderful analogy with us πŸ™‚

  18. Nate Leung

    November 27, 2013 at 10:30 am

    Hi Harleena,

    What an awesome post! I like what you said about reaching out and meeting people. Here’s the problem sometimes with my friends.

    Is that they want relationships to fall in their lap.

    I always tell them, that they need to break out of their shell and go out and meet people.

    You go out and meet people, you start to feel better about yourself and the people that you meet.

    On the same token, relationships require work. Just like anything in life, nothing is a free ticket. If you want something you have to go out and get it.

    Loved the article! Thanks Harleena!

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      November 27, 2013 at 8:03 pm

      Hi Nate,

      Glad you liked the post and could relate to it πŸ™‚

      Ah…I agree with you there, and that’s something common with a few of my friend’s too. I guess they’re too involved in their work or really not bothered to take out the time to mingle with others, and don’t want to make any efforts on their part.

      If you don’t interact or meet others, you can never really know others, and for that matter, even yourself, and what all you like or dislike. Yes indeed, any relationship needs to be worked upon if you want to succeed in it. It’s like your business that requires constant attention πŸ˜‰

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us πŸ™‚

  19. Michael Belk

    November 27, 2013 at 10:35 am

    Harleena, I am glad you explained the difference between infatuation and love because many people confuse the two.

    The lines get blurry when there are “other activities” involved. People have to understand real love will not look for you.

    Some people get inpatient. That is when they start saying things like all men or women are the same.

    We know that can not be true. However, you can not tell people in “love’ that.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      November 27, 2013 at 8:08 pm

      Hi Michael,

      Oh yes they do! I think I was very confused too when I was young, so I can well relate to what most youngsters, or even older lots might feel πŸ™‚

      I can understand what you mean by people getting impatient, or not wanting to wait a while for the right person to come along because they feel the one they have found is the right one. I think unless you know the person well enough for a while, you cannot really know whether you are just infatuated or truly in love with him/her. I guess people do turn blind when in love and you cannot tell them the right from wrong in most cases – it’s something they learn only from experience, isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts πŸ™‚

  20. Akaahan Terungwa

    November 27, 2013 at 11:04 am

    Hello Harleena,

    Though happily married, I must acknowledge that these tips of yours make perfect sense to someone who is looking up to being united to a better half as one.

    It is sad that most persons who seek love send out the wrong signals, are found in the wrong places or close the ‘deal’ wrongly resulting in heart aches and breaks.

    Hopefully, this entry of yours will ensure that does not happen anymore.

    Do have a supercharged day, Harleena.

    – Terungwa

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      November 28, 2013 at 5:49 pm

      Hi Terungwa,

      Nice to know that you approve of these tips, and coming from a person who is married means perhaps I’m on the right track πŸ™‚

      I don’t blame such people because they often don’t know where to look for love, not knowing that it will happen when the times right. In most cases they take infatuation for love and land up heart broken once the reality strikes them. Yes, I hope this post can help most such people πŸ™‚

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. Have a nice week as well πŸ™‚

  21. Adesanmi Adedotun

    November 27, 2013 at 11:22 am

    The only single thing I so much believed in right from time is LOVE most especially when its true but it is often hurt when you love someone but the person love someone else and all you have to do is to let off you… Love is when taking away the feelings, passion and romance and still care for the same person. I love and I loved to be loved!

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      November 28, 2013 at 5:55 pm

      Hi Adesanmi,

      I agree with you there, and sometimes that happens. I think the situation is so common when there is such one-sided love, and you love the person, but he/she doesn’t love you. That surely breaks your heart. But before you land up in such a situation, you have to be very sure that there is love from both the sides, or else don’t proceed with things, isn’t it? So, to some level you are to be blamed too if you assume the other person loves you.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts πŸ™‚

  22. Sue Price

    November 27, 2013 at 1:42 pm

    Hi Harleena

    I am with Kumar and like he stated amazed at the diversity of subjects that you write on so well.

    I love this subject. I have been married to my husband for 32 years. Has it been a bed of roses all the time – heck no! But I must say our love has continued to grow. For us we are both committed to working on and knowing ourselves. Like you said we need to know ourselves very well.

    While your post is about finding love I want to add that for us friendship is a huge ingredient. My husband is my best friend.

    I have a friend who has been married several times and the marriages never last. I used to think it was all about infatuation and of course that wears off. But I have come to believe she is addicted to the romance. And it that shows signs of slowing she is out of there.

    Love this topic Harleena.

    I love that I have my special man to share my life with.

    Have a great week.

    Sue

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      November 28, 2013 at 6:16 pm

      Hi Sue,

      Ah…you both are too kind to say that I’d say because that’s the only thing I do – write! So, it ought to be on a lot of niches πŸ™‚

      You DO amaze me when you say you’ve been married that long! The other two women I know are Mary and Debbie I think, who are also married nearly for 40 odd years – an inspiration for all of us I’d say.

      I agree with you – marriage is not a bed of roses, but the little spice does make it interesting, doesn’t it? And I think as long as you are both growing together, you keep understanding each other, and that’s exactly how love becomes stronger too. It does take time, effort, and continuous work from both sides, doesn’t it?

      I ditto your words about friendship, because my hubby is my best friend too! But it’s pretty bad when my best friend gets angry with me πŸ˜‰ I can understand the situation of your friend who’s perhaps looking for romance in a marriage more than the real, deeper bonding, and there are many like her I know of too – who desire something different from their spouse, and when both their requirements don’t match, they tend to break up.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your years of wisdom with us…yes, we are lucky to have our men to share our lives with. Have a nice week as well πŸ™‚

  23. Ngah Benoit

    November 27, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    Being in a relationship in which love flows is something that makes me feel happy. I have been dating my girl now for over a year and we are very happy. Before I came to know her, I did some of the things you made mention of in the post above and it really helped. The most important thing I did was understanding myself. After I broke up with my Ex girlfriend,I took out sometime in my life to understand myself and understand what might have caused the breakup. I realized that I had been making some mistakes without knowing. Ever since I understood myself, I came to realize that building a successful relationship is something which everyone can do. Thanks so much for sharing such a great post.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      November 28, 2013 at 6:54 pm

      Hi Ngah,

      Love does bring happiness into our lives, and I’m glad you have found your love too πŸ™‚

      Nice to know that you’d followed a few of the above mentioned ways and they helped you. Knowing and loving ourselves is the best way to learn more about us and what we like or dislike, isn’t it? Once we know that, then alone can we go ahead and love another person.

      You raised a good point of taking a break after your break up, before going ahead with another relationship, which is so important and something often ignored by many. I think once you do that, you are able to introspect and know what went wrong and how you can improve yourself, so that you are well-prepared for a new relationship, and won’t make the same mistakes again.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us πŸ™‚

  24. Liz McGee

    November 27, 2013 at 9:05 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    In today’s high rate of divorce this is a needed post. Finding true love can be hard for a lot of people.

    My daughter is a wedding photographer and she keeps in touch with many of her clients. In here experience many of the couples she photographs get divorced within 3-5 years of their wedding, so sad πŸ™‚

    She feels that many of her couples are in love with idea of being in love. They want the wedding, the honeymoon, they want kids, the big house, etc. In other words they get married for all the wrong reasons. They’re not truly in love with each other when they get married. And if the photographer can see that, you know it’s bad πŸ™

    I remember having friends that had a list of expectations they wanted in a spouse. The person had to make so much money, a certain color of hair, drive a specific car, etc. Their focus is on things of prestige and not on the person at all. They want someone that makes them look good. That can be such a mistake.

    Anyway good post. Hope those that need this see it πŸ™‚

    Blessings,
    Liz

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      November 28, 2013 at 7:16 pm

      Hi Liz,

      I agree with you there πŸ™‚

      Oh dear…that surely is sad to know. I think these stats and such cases are more prevalent in the US where break ups and the divorce rates are much higher. I can well relate to the couples being in love, just for show as they say, not really in true love. They do want to ‘feel’ married, and portray as if they are in love, but the real love is missing from their lives, which results in break ups once reality strikes. I’m sure your daughter can see that through and through, being a photographer and dealing with people.

      Expectations ALWAYS lead to frustrations! I think the fewer you have the better it is, though once you get married, the expectations only increase with time with most couples. Yes, their focus shifts to the outer and materialistic things, instead of the real inner person who should matter the most. One can’t expect love to bloom in such a relationship, and even if it does, it’s certainly not going to last long.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us πŸ™‚

  25. Carolyn Nicander Mohr

    November 28, 2013 at 12:10 am

    Hi Harleena, Lovely piece on love!

    I was just at a dinner party this past weekend with some single people and they said that everyone looks online now at dating services and that dating services have become specialized according to interests. I even saw a commercial for an online dating service for farmers!

    I respectfully disagree with you about friends not liking your partner. I have never dated a guy who turned out to be great when my friends didn’t like him. I would always rationalize, “Oh, they just don’t know him like I do!” but they were ALWAYS right. If your friends know you and love you, they will have a much clearer perspective than you will. In fact, when one of my friends told me that my husband (then boyfriend) was the best guy I ever dated, that gave me the confidence to regard him more seriously!

    I love, love, love your advice about what to look for as you date someone. I would also add you should see how the person treats waiters in a restaurant and animals. If he treats waiters rudely, move on to someone new. If he treats animals poorly, then he probably won’t be a good dad to your kids.

    Someone told me once that if you really pay attention on the first date with someone, you will see clues about the reason you will eventually break up.

    I loved Loretta Lynn’s quote about love. It’s so true! I actually took a year off of dating. I was really tired of dating and meeting guys. It can be hard work! But during that year, I had more guys ask me out than ever before. I think they can sense when you’re “hungry” and when you’re not.

    I think the best advice is to do what you enjoy doing so you will meet someone who has your interests. I had a friend who took a class on auto mechanics because someone told her it was the way to meet guys. She went to the class and it was filled with other women wanting to meet guys!

    If I were single now, I think I would try online dating. Hey, I’m online so much already, why not?

    Thanks for this wonderful article, Harleena. I hope it helps many find love!

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      November 28, 2013 at 8:07 pm

      Hi Carolyn,

      Glad you liked the post and could relate so well to it – awesome comment I must say πŸ™‚

      Ah…online dating service for farmers! That’s truly amazing! Nice to know that dating services have now progressed so much. I wouldn’t know much as I rarely visit them now πŸ˜‰

      I agree with you about friend’s, though sometimes they can even negate what you feel or the person you choose, even if you feel the person is right for you. I think it depends on the friend’s you have, and how close you are, isn’t it? Yes, if your friend’s love and know you, they will always be frank and guide you in the right direction, and sometimes they know you more than you do!! Hmm…your friend’s were so right about your hubby, and I’m sure you must be so thankful to them for helping you decide about him.

      Very important point about seeing the other traits and values of the person, like how they treat others, especially animals, waiters, or even children and elders. Sometimes these can be real eye-openers, though these small things are often ignored. I think these qualities show how they feels towards them, the compassion and empathy matters a lot in relationships. If you remember, I did mention some of these points in my earlier post about the signs of an abusive relationship, and if a person possesses these, he isn’t going to turn out be a good lover.

      Ah…I loved Lynn’s quote too, and it is apt, isn’t it? Nice to know about your dating experiences, which as compared – I’ve nothing much to share about. Lol….I liked the ‘hungry’ part, and the mechanic girls meeting other girls with the same interest. πŸ™‚

      I think a lot can come into shape if you join people that share the same interest as you, though sometimes people with different interests are known to click better. A lot depends on what works for each person at the end of the day, and where they find their love.

      Yes, online dating has a lot of positives for those who spend a lot of time online, just as Maxwell mentioned above, who has no other way of meeting others, except online, and he’s even tried a lot of such dating services, but in vain. The only thing you need to be careful about is really knowing the person well before you get serious, and make sure to meet them once you feel it’s right.

      Thanks SO much for your wonderful comment, and for sharing your experiences with us. I’m sure it’s going to help many who are looking for love in their lives too. Have a nice week, and Happy Thanksgiving πŸ™‚

  26. Asaolu olubayode

    November 28, 2013 at 2:10 am

    Hi Harleena,
    Thanks for this wonderful article, i agree with all your listed points except the dating services. i believe if someone wants a lasting love, i shouldn’t be desperate being. well, maybe it’s a personal belief anyway but i wouldn’t want dating service. we have many desperate, different people with bend situations that put their selves online for date.

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      Harleena Singh

      November 28, 2013 at 8:12 pm

      Hi Asaolu,

      Dating services work well for those who are mostly online and have no other ways perhaps to meet others offline, though just as Carolyn mentioned, it does work out well for some people and they have found their life-partners through the Internet too, so, it all depends I’d say. πŸ™‚

      Yes, I agree about people posing to be someone else when they are not, and in such cases, you need to be very careful and take your own time to decide if they are right for you or not. Eventually, meet them and know them – face to face meetings are a must.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views πŸ™‚

  27. Donna Merrill

    November 28, 2013 at 4:15 am

    What wonderful tips Harleena!

    Love is the most important thing in life to me. Now I’ve made so many mistakes in the past because I really didn’t take the time to know who I am! That resulted in two divorces. O.K. I learn the hard way!

    But then one day it hit me. I wrote a list titled “I need a man that….” I put down everything possible that I needed in my life. I went into so much detail it took weeks to complete this list. I also slept with it under my pillow so the subconscious mind would be aware. I would wake up at night and have an idea.

    Now this task wasn’t an easy one. I then put it in order. What was the most important thing I needed, second, third, etc. Another few weeks to do that.

    Moral of this story was that I really got into myself. Who I really was and what I needed. Not what I expected from what I’ve learned in the past, not what my friends and family suggested I needed, but what I needed.

    There came in David…my husband of 23 years now. No, he didn’t look like the person I had on my list. He didn’t have the money I expected, but what he did have was all the stuff I needed to live a peaceful and fulfilling life with.

    -Donna

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      Harleena Singh

      November 28, 2013 at 8:32 pm

      Hi Donna,

      Glad you liked these little tips, and yes – love IS the most important thing for me too πŸ™‚

      I think we all learn from our mistakes and that’s what’s called life, because it teaches you so much in return. Taking things positively, those divorces made you meet yourself, which in turn made you wiser and stronger as a person, isn’t it? I guess we need to be grateful for whatever life puts forth us, and in a way, it’s because of those incidents that you’ve eventually found your true love πŸ™‚

      Ah…making such a focused list must’ve taken you ages, but you must be SO sure by that time about what all you wanted in a person. All this only happened when you went deep within and thought about all that you wanted, you introspected and realized what your needs were, which I know most of us never really do when we first start looking for love, or even if we find someone we feel we love.

      But eventually love IS blind, and perhaps that’s why none of what you listed matched up with David, or perhaps only a little did. And you wouldn’t have minded it too, after you got to know how wonderful a person he was. I’m SO happy that you found love, even though after a while. πŸ™‚

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. Have a nice week, and Happy Thanksgiving πŸ™‚

  28. Theodore Nwangene

    November 28, 2013 at 6:40 am

    Hello Harleena,
    This is a very inspiring post especially for those of us that are still searching for true love :).

    Love is the most beautiful and also the strongest force in the whole universe and, when you’re in love with someone who us truly yours, the world becomes a better place.

    One mistake that always leads to break up in most relationship today is mistaking infatuation for love.

    You, relationship is never meant for one person, its meant for the both parties to build up and, when you leave it for one person, it will definitely fail because, it will be imbalanced.

    I always tell people that successful relationship is not all about finding the right mate but, being the right mate and, no one is perfect so, we must always settle for good instead of chasing best because if you keep on chasing best, you might be running for a life time :).

    Thanks for sharing Harleena and, have a beautiful day.

    Regards to your family.

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      Harleena Singh

      November 29, 2013 at 10:50 am

      Hi Theodore,

      I’m glad you liked the post and could relate to it – more so because you’re still looking for love πŸ™‚

      Oh yes…love is what makes the world go round, and I wonder why it isn’t the case with some of our friend’s who perhaps have had bitter past experiences, which they don’t realize isn’t due to love, but to their shortcomings, or the other persons.

      People often do get mixed up with infatuation and love, and I don’t really blame them because sometimes they can’t identify whether they are infatuated by the person or it’s true love. I think love happens only with time and after you’ve known the person for a while, isn’t it?

      I agree with you there – there has to be a correct balance, and love is certainly two sided, or else it’s just a one-sided love that will end with time. No one is perfect, that’s true, and nor should we look for perfection in our partner. Learn to accept them for who they are, after all you fell in love with the person as he/she was, then why try changing them later, or become dissatisfied with your relationship?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us. Have a nice day as well πŸ™‚

  29. Evelyn Lim

    November 28, 2013 at 7:56 am

    Most certainly, if a person is looking for a partner, one good way is to let others know about it. There is no need to by shy. Wanting love in our lives is a very natural thing.

    I also agree that relationships need to be worked on. The flurry of romantic feelings will fizzle out after a while. So if we want a relationship that is rock solid and that sustains over time, we need to commit to working differences out and living together harmoniously and lovingly.

    Great article, Harleena!

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      Harleena Singh

      November 29, 2013 at 10:56 am

      Hi Evelyn,

      I agree with you there, or else how would anyone know you are looking for love. Yet some people shy away from letting people know, or prefer to remain rather secretive about it – I wonder why? πŸ™‚

      Oh yes! If we don’t work on our relationships, they are bound to die their natural death after a while. Nothing lasts forever, and that includes relationships too, which really need efforts from both sides for it to remain ever fresh. Communication is another vital point, and if couples can resolve their difference by talking to each other, there would be peace and harmony most of the time.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts πŸ™‚

  30. Philip Okechukwu

    November 28, 2013 at 8:25 am

    Hi Harleena, great one you did on Love.

    It excites me when I see or hear people who know about love talk about love.

    One of the key thing that shouldn’t be neglected in life is love because “In love was the world founded” and love also holds the key to the world.

    Imagine a world were love exist from north to south, west to east..

    Above all, each and every one of us needs love to live a fulfilled life.

    I wish you a lovely life ahead.

    Philip.

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      Harleena Singh

      November 29, 2013 at 10:59 am

      Welcome to the blog Philip!

      Glad you liked this post on love πŸ™‚

      Yes indeed – love holds the key to the world and I wish more people would understand this simple fact and live lovingly, that world would surely be something worth living in, isn’t it? We all need love, and if we can find the love of our life – what more could we wish for πŸ™‚

      Thanks you for kind wishes, and for stopping by here today πŸ™‚

  31. lori

    November 28, 2013 at 8:53 am

    Wow Harleena!

    Congrats on your popular post and interesting thread of comments. This topic is quite timely for me too! I was married for 23 years to someone who was not wired to be faithful, and now my 6 year relationship with my boyfriend has suddenly ended right after the loss of my mom – tough times.
    Your tips are a good reminder for me as I reluctantly go out into the single world again! I will know when a man is infatuated or in the relationship for the right reasons. I am hoping 3 is a charm! ~Lori πŸ˜‰

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      Harleena Singh

      November 29, 2013 at 11:05 am

      Welcome to the blog Lori!

      Well, thank you for your kind words, and yes, I remain ever so grateful to the readers of my blog for the wonderful comments and interaction they have here. πŸ™‚

      Oh dear…you surely seem to have gone through a great deal – sorry to hear about your Mom too. Yes, tough times for you. But as they say, tough times don’t last, tough people do. I’m sure this is a passing phase and with time (which is a great healer), things will only get better. I’d say if we take things positively, perhaps it wasn’t meant to be, and there is something better waiting for you out there – so keep the faith!! Yes, 3 is bound to be your lucky charm!

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us πŸ™‚

  32. Kate

    November 28, 2013 at 10:08 am

    I think I would not opt for a dating service when I’m looking for my true love. Love will find me, definitely. Still, this is a wonderful post.

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      Harleena Singh

      November 29, 2013 at 11:14 am

      Welcome to the blog Kate!

      I think it depends from person to person and their personal choices. For some, as you can see in the above comments of Maxwell and Carolyn, online dating services has worked very well, while others prefer not to use it.

      I agree, either ways you choose – love happens, and yes, it will find you provided you are ready for it and on the look out too. πŸ™‚

      Thanks for stopping by πŸ™‚

  33. Cole Wiebe

    November 28, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    Good post. I gave online dating a serious try a while back, with discouraging results. My daughter recently commented that she might have tried to set me up with someone, but I wasn’t interested. I asked her why she would say that and she responded that I just give off that vibe. Which brings me to your point number 3. I wasn’t aware that I give off those signals.

    I understand it’s a common problem with people that are driven and very absorbed in their careers. I’m very friendly and approachable, but probably in a “Hi, here’s my card,” business way. Maybe I should print cards that say, “I’m totally interested and available,” or not. There may be a future blog post for you. πŸ™‚

    – Cole

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      Harleena Singh

      November 29, 2013 at 11:59 am

      Hi Cole,

      Ah… I guess online dating doesn’t work for everyone πŸ™‚

      Lol…I wonder what made your daughter say that! Or perhaps she sees you working mostly so thought where’d you have the time for chatting, talking, and all such things that one needs for online dating if you are looking for someone special. I think letting people know you are available opens your chances for them to get in touch with you also, so it helps a great deal.

      Yes indeed, for those who are busy with their own life, work, and career, it’s tough to find time for love, or dating for that matter too. Yes….you might have to print those cards in place of your business ones now πŸ˜‰ Good idea for a new post!!

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us πŸ™‚

  34. Pramod

    November 28, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    Excellent tips Harleena !

    The world is changing very fast. In earlier days , parents used to find the groom / bride for their children through their own reference. Nowadays , there are online portals (including dating services) that can be used to find life partners/true love and interested people can convert their online relationship into real life relationship . BTW , Loretta Young’s quote is amazing . I have read such quote before . Thanks for sharing the info and have a great weekend !

    -Pramod

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      Harleena Singh

      November 29, 2013 at 12:34 pm

      Hi Pramod,

      Nice to know that you liked these tips πŸ™‚

      Absolutely! Times and have changed, and nowadays people find their life partners on their own and then take them to their parents, if at all πŸ™‚

      Online dating sites have helped a lot of people find their life partners, while there are other matrimonial sites too that can be used. However, you need to be very careful of the profile and make sure what’s written about the person is authentic. You have to of course, make it a point to meet the person in real, before you finalize anything or go ahead in your relationship. Yes – Loretta’s quote is loved by so many of us.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views πŸ™‚

  35. William Butler

    November 28, 2013 at 11:40 pm

    Happy Thanksgiving Harleena!

    I hope you have a wonderful time with your loved ones.

    I like what you said about being a love teacher. I live by four words: BE LOVE TO OTHERS. Regardless of race, religion, or riches, I love others for who they are.

    I would add a couple of things here in general. Not only know yourself, but LOVE yourself. Otherwise, you will never be able to truly love another. Another is on the subject of personal integrity. Eventually the other person will discover your true colors, so being honest up front is essential to a healthy, vibrant relationship. Just think of the loss of trust when someone finds out that you’re not the person they thought they loved. It is better to allow them to love you for who you are, warts and all, than to be a cause of hurt and disappointment.

    Kind Regards,
    Bill

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      Harleena Singh

      November 29, 2013 at 1:08 pm

      Hi Bill – nice to have you back πŸ™‚

      Oh yes…already looking forward to the weekend, while I know you are with Thanksgiving today πŸ™‚

      I love those four words you live by – they do say a lot. Yes indeed, loving each other, irrespective of the caste, culture, or race is what matters most. I wish more people would realize and understand this simple fact.

      I agree with you there, loving yourself is essential if you have to love another person, which is something that’s often ignored too. Being honest and true is very important in any relationship, or else a relationship doesn’t last long. Many relationships are known to break up once the true colors show up, and that’s but natural and something that’s bound to happen. You are right – people should accept you and love you for who and what you are, rather than you portraying yourself to be someone you are not, and regretting it later.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your pearls of wisdom with us. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family as well πŸ™‚

  36. Jeanne Melanson

    November 29, 2013 at 8:46 am

    Wow! Great post.

    Your line, “It’s simply the act of giving. It’s about feeling love within yourself, and then pouring it out to another” when referring to unconditional love really struck a chord with me. I had never thought of it that way, as an act of giving. But it’s true, when you give with no expectation of anything in return, that is true love! Awesome! Thank you for the very pleasant read. I will be back, for sure!

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      Harleena Singh

      November 29, 2013 at 1:11 pm

      Welcome to the blog Jeanne!

      Glad you liked the post πŸ™‚

      Oh yes…selfless or unconditional love is more about giving a part of you to another person, isn’t it? I guess we don’t do it that often, or perhaps those who do, don’t realize they are doing such a wonderful thing. It surely isn’t easy, but not impossible either, and this way you really just love the person for who he or she is – because you accept them as they are, without having any expectations from them.

      Thanks for stopping by, and hope to see you back again. Have a nice weekend, and Happy Thanksgiving πŸ™‚

  37. Kumar Chandan

    November 29, 2013 at 12:44 pm

    Hi, Harleena Mam,

    Indeed excellent Post! True love depends on understanding. If your understanding with your partner is deep, this is nothing but true love.

    We will lose ourselves in finding true love. It is very difficult to find because sometimes, we are unable to recognize the love and sometimes your love is unable to recognize you.

    Yes, it is really better to make ourselves loveable because, in this case we have a better chance to get the true love. No doubt, your tips are helpful to those who are in the search of true mate.

    Thank you very much for sharing a wonderful post. πŸ™‚
    Have a great weekend. πŸ™‚

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      Harleena Singh

      November 29, 2013 at 1:19 pm

      Hi Kumar,

      Nice to know that you liked this post. πŸ™‚

      Absolutely! True love is based on trust and deep understanding of each other, without which there is no love at all. I agree with you about losing yourself in finding your love, which isn’t easy. But you can keep trying and one day, love just happens. It seems like the person you meet is someone you’ve known for years – there is a soul to soul kind of inner connection that you can feel within. Happens rarely, but when it does, it surely is the most beautiful experience.

      Making yourself loveable and changing yourself to get better, if required, helps a great deal because you do away with your negativity so that the other person loves you.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us. Have a nice weekend too πŸ™‚

  38. Olili Bob

    November 29, 2013 at 6:57 pm

    Hi comment queen,

    I would say you have just given me some tips to share with friends. I love all the points you have made especially letting people know you are available. Some ladies would leave their social media relationship status as “in a relationship” whereas they are single and searching, that way they are chasing guys who may have genuine interest away because they will think she is already hooked up.

    The attitude someone puts up really does matter, some people become sassy when they are approached and some are rude even without knowing it, this is a bad thing and you can never find love that way. To me love is beautiful and finding true love makes your world wonderful. Thanks for sharing this and do have a great weekend.

    Regards
    ~Bob

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      Harleena Singh

      November 29, 2013 at 7:49 pm

      Hi Bob,

      Ah…thanks for calling me by that name πŸ™‚

      Glad you liked the post and found it worthy enough to be shared with your friend’s. You raised a good point about some people putting up their status as they are already in a relationship, when actually they are not. By doing this they reduce their own chances of finding love in their lives. Yes, others will definitely think that the person is in a relationship and not bother or try and become friend’s with them.

      I think if you are available and ready, then why hide the fact? In-fact, you should be visible to others, and even let your friend’s and family know that you are seeking someone, so that they can also be on the look out or suggest people to you – no harm done at all.

      Yes indeed, some people do become rude when approached, or perhaps they are taken unawares or are unprepared. Or perhaps the one asking is not polite enough to ask in a decent way – there could be so many reasons, isn’t it? But I agree with you, love IS beautiful and if you find the love of your life, it does make your world wonderful and worthy enough to live in.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us πŸ™‚

  39. B k chowla

    November 29, 2013 at 7:12 pm

    Harleena,it just happens.

    There is a current which flows through the body the moment you think you are in love. It’s up to you to ensure that if the current is real , the fuse is not put off .

    And also, in my opinion , this feeling of love has happened to ALL of us at least once in our life time. Yes, there are social reasons that we don’t want to talk about it. Then, is it really love which can’t be spoken about? I for one would be ready to accept in full view .

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      Harleena Singh

      November 29, 2013 at 8:01 pm

      Hi BK,

      Yes indeed, love just happens πŸ™‚

      But for those who find it tough and had been asking me about it, hope these tips can help a little. I liked the word ‘current’, which describes the feeling perfectly I’d say.

      Yes, perhaps it’s happened to most of us, while for the youngsters, it might have been infatuation if not love. I think if it’s love, you’d want to shout and let the whole world know about it, not hide it, isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views πŸ™‚

      BTW – Just wondering if you tried for a Gravatar – I’m sure everyone wants to see you πŸ™‚

  40. Jeff Dawson

    November 29, 2013 at 9:46 pm

    I waited thirty years to find true love. Even though I was married, divorced and had girlfriends through the years, nothing could have prepared me for reuniting with my first true love thirty years later. Debbie and I dated in high school for a-year-and-a-half. Endured a very bad breakup. We reunited in Jan of 2009 and spent the most wonderful seven months people/couples only dream of. It was cut short when her breast cancer returned with a vengeance, taking her life in July. I went into the relationship with eyes and heart wide open. The only thing I wanted to do was spend time with her. Sex wasn’t a priority. Spending time with her and her girls was. The work took a backseat. It was the first time in my fifty-four years I can honestly say I was one hundred percent committed to a relationship. A year after her passing, with her daughters permission, I wrote the story of our love. I never really thought I’d truly be in love again. Time proved me wrong. It found both of us.

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      Harleena Singh

      November 30, 2013 at 7:00 am

      Welcome to the blog Jeff!

      That surely must’ve been a long wait, but so worth the while I think πŸ™‚

      Touching story about you and Debbie’s love. I guess such is life. When you find someone you know is the right one for you, life has other plans laid out. So sorry to hear about her breast cancer. Yes, the work could never be on one’s mind at such times, and I can just imagine all that you and the girls must’ve gone through as I’ve lost my Mom to cancer too years back. Yes indeed, love found both of you…

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your heartfelt story with us. You know as they say – true love never really dies, and Debbie is so much a part of you still. The ones who leave us are still very much a part of us πŸ™‚

      • Jeff Dawson

        November 30, 2013 at 8:19 am

        It was along wait well worth the wait. I’d do again even knowing how it would end. The girls and I took each day at a time. It wasn’t until June were we faced with the reality the cancer had returned. I remember going back to her house and the oldest daughter came outside and point blank asked, “What’s the diagnosis?” I asked if she wanted me to lie or tell the truth. She wanted the truth so I told her, barring a miracle, her mother was going to die. We didn’t dwell on what we couldn’t control, we continued to enjoy what little time was left. There wasn’t a death shroud over the house or a watching party, we lived each day as best we could.

        It was the most intense love I’ve ever experienced in my life. I’m so glad we were able to share that with each other. I think Debbie summed it up best one day when she said, “we have unfinished business.” She was so right.

        Yes, I believe she is still very much a part of me to this day. I know through the years we hear people say, “they took a part of me when they left.” For me, that wasn’t the case. I gave a part of my heart to Debbie which was always reserved her. When she died, she took what I gave to hear so many years ago.

        The title of the book is Love’s True Second Chance, and it really was.

        • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

          Harleena Singh

          November 30, 2013 at 11:41 am

          I can well imagine your love for her, Jeff πŸ™‚

          Your telling the girls reminded me how my parents disclosed the diagnosis of my Mom’s cancer to us, very similar. It was tough for us to accept the fact that she wasn’t going to be with us one day. And then we tried all we could under the Sun – all kinds of treatments, prayers, alternative medicines, therapies – everything. But what’s going to happen, does happen, and we just need to accept it as His will.

          Yes, we need to accept such things in life, though at that moment, it’s devastating. I’ve yet to see a braver woman than my Mom, who gave us strength and courage even in her last few days. Living each day as it comes and making it a good one is what matters most.

          Oh yes…they always remain a part of us. My Mom’s turned to be my guardian angel and is always there around me…one just needs to feel them, and they are there.

          Your heart is very much with Debbie, and she must be watching all of you and be so proud of you for having written such a wonderful book. God Bless all of you πŸ™‚

          Thanks once again for sharing a precious part of you with us πŸ™‚

  41. Adesanmi Adedotun

    November 30, 2013 at 12:56 am

    I really like to be loved madam… The only single thing I single handedly believed in is love,love is real and truth but what happen when love punished, when love betrayed, when love lies, when love disappoint, when love don’t seem to be love again but the fact is love speak the most valuable language I ever cherished.

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      Harleena Singh

      November 30, 2013 at 10:07 am

      Hi Adesanmi,

      Who doesn’t like to be loved? I think everyone craves to be loved, but only a few find it, isn’t it?

      It does hurt when love is betrayed, or when your partner isn’t whom you expected to be. In such cases there is nothing you can do other than move on in life. Perhaps someone better awaits you, who would value your love much more.

      Thanks for stopping by once again πŸ™‚

  42. Mayura

    December 1, 2013 at 2:45 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Seem many of your readers have been expecting this post. Isn’t it? πŸ™‚ I didn’t expect such a post at this very moment, but I think I needed this. Not to fall in love sooner, but to think more about what I’ve been through πŸ™‚ I kinda like analysis.

    Didn’t I say sometimes your posts felt like written for me. Here we again πŸ˜‰

    Yeah, I was in love and everything with love always made best moments in my life Harleena πŸ™‚ I feel I tend to give almost everything when I set my mind for it. Love is one of greatest motivator for me and it’s vicious enough to let me down too. Had to experience to understand the latter πŸ™‚ But it was a wonderful learning experience to advance in my life.

    I agree with you! Love just happens and I don’t even remember how it all started either πŸ™‚ When I fell in love, I thought it’s for the lifetime and beyond. You know, made for each other kind of feeling. But, not anymore.

    May be it was infatuation? I didn’t find it so when we discuss it over though. Mmm… Infatuation is not the only reason bugging true love. Isn’t it?

    Looking at your tips, I feel comfortable with #1. I think I have an image mirrored of myself in my mind and expecting a imperfect but perfect fit to bond and last forever πŸ˜€ lol… A girl like my mother? Too much to expect, eh?

    I have never considered dating services and never meant to friend with someone just to turn friendship into a love, Harleena. I know some of my friends did and it worked too. Especially on Facebook. But I don’t feel doing ’em as they might work as quick fixes. Yeah, friendship can turn into a love and I’m comfortable with that though.

    Well, I’ll be myself and keep moving on dear. Honestly, I’m not seeking love but it doesn’t mean I don’t accept it πŸ™‚ As always, love will find me. Isn’t it? Meantime, I’ll keep your tips in mind too.

    You have a wonderful weekend there dear! πŸ™‚

    Cheers…

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 9, 2013 at 12:34 pm

      Hi Mayura,

      Oh yes….seems so! I know a few of them had messaged me about wanting a post on this topic, but I didn’t expect that there would be others too. I guess love surely makes the world go round πŸ™‚

      It’s good to know that perhaps this post is a timely one for you too – I like hearing when you say that!

      I know you were in love and must’ve given more than 200% to your relationship too, knowing you. It’s sad that things didn’t work out, and that too took a heavy toll on you, I know that too dear friend. But as you yourself mentioned, it’s good in a way that you learned about this bitter truth of life, much earlier in your life, and perhaps have got over it now, though I know it’s easier said than done.

      Yes, you really don’t need to ‘find love’, instead love finds two people and connect them, just like it found you, and your loved one. That moment one does feel that we are made for each other and everything works perfectly for both of you too. But everything is shattered when the reality shows up, isn’t it? Or when what you thought to be love, wasn’t so. It does break your heart.

      It could be infatuation, but I feel, that it might not have been the case because there’s mostly an age for that, which perhaps you had crossed and matured to looking for a life partner, as per the talks we’ve had generally. I might be wrong, but that’s what I feel πŸ™‚

      Ah…don’t expect to find a girl like your mom…because that might never happen. Yes, perhaps a little of those qualities is alright, but it’s better to go in for what you like in a girl and accept her for who and what she is, so that she has her own qualities that you’d begin to like too. Perhaps she could imbibe some of your moms so that it all fits in well.

      Nor me, Mayura…never tried those, but it does work for some as we read through the other comments. I think unless you don’t make it a point to meet the other person, you really cannot commit, nor give your full self to a relationship and turn it to love, isn’t it?

      Absolutely! Just be who you are and move ahead in life. There IS someone waiting for you, because He’s made someone for all of us, you just need time to connect with the right person, so hold on! Yes – love WILL find you, just keep yourself and your channels all open πŸ™‚

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. Have a nice week ahead πŸ™‚

  43. Galen Pearl

    December 1, 2013 at 5:51 am

    A wealth of great advice, as always! I stopped by to say thank you, Harleena, for all the good you put out there in the world. I recently posted my last blog post, and I hope you will stop by to say goodbye. I just wanted to say thank you. I have enjoyed sharing cyberspace with you!

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      Harleena Singh

      December 9, 2013 at 2:07 pm

      Hi Galen,

      It sure was a pleasant surprise to see you once again, though after a long time, and I think the long break you had from the blogging was the reason.

      Well, thank you for saying that, though you are no less Galen, for the wonderful advice and uplifting messages your posts carry for all of us. It did come as a shock to me, and for everyone else too I’m sure, but we also know that whatever you plan to ‘work’ on now, would turn out as beautiful as your thoughts, and we wish the best for you always.

      Thanks for stopping by, and I’d love it if you keep visiting us, whenever time permits. You know our doors are always open to old friend’s and new. Be blessed πŸ™‚

  44. Ahsan

    December 1, 2013 at 10:04 pm

    Hello Harleena,

    At first, I have to say what a topic you choice – just excellent. I think if you choice its title as What is Love – it also fit with the article.

    Real love is certainly hard to find but again when get real love we must try to keep it up. To be in love is a magical, memorable experience, and the desire to express how you feel to the one whom you truly love is a feeling that anyone who has been in love is familiar with.

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      Harleena Singh

      December 9, 2013 at 2:18 pm

      Hi Ahsan,

      Glad you liked the chosen topic, something that I think was very much in demand from the readers of this blog πŸ™‚

      Yes, what is love would do as well too, though I’ve written about it in an earlier post a few months back, so wanted to write specifically what a few people were wanting instead.

      Absolutely! Finding true love isn’t easy, and once you find love, keeping it as a tis is the tough part, isn’t it? Love always needs to be refreshed and worked upon, or else it fades off. Expressing love to the one you love is another art, which only a few people know I’d say. However, there’s nothing we cannot learn, once we are determined πŸ™‚

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts πŸ™‚

  45. Shalu Sharma

    December 2, 2013 at 10:24 am

    Great ways to find love. But as far as my story goes and like millions of other Indians, I got married the usual arranged marriage system but I had choices to reject and accept. I am not sure if the traditional arranged system works or not but that’s the way things are in India. But thinhs are changing in India too, more and more young men and women are finding their own soul mates which is good in a way.

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      Harleena Singh

      December 9, 2013 at 2:25 pm

      Hi Shalu,

      Yes indeed, that’s generally the way arranged marriages work in our country, and I think you were lucky that you had the choice to accept or reject the person. I wonder what the others do, especially in the rural areas and smaller cities, where they are forced to marry grooms chosen by their parents, or older to them, or someone who just doesn’t click with their personality.

      Yes, this is how things usually work our end, but nowadays things have changed a great deal, especially in the metros where even live-in relationships are carrying on. Nevertheless, our society doesn’t really accept such things openly. I agree with you there, if men and women can find their love and get married, nothing like it, or else turn their arranged marriage into a love one, which again is rare πŸ™‚

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us πŸ™‚

  46. Shailesh Jangra

    December 2, 2013 at 11:56 am

    Nice Post Harleen Ma’am,

    I agree with your statement and points. Love can make us happy and cheerful as well as love can throw us into depression and anger. So it’s very much important to find a good partner so that one can enjoy a great life experience.
    Thanks for writing about it.

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      Harleena Singh

      December 9, 2013 at 2:30 pm

      Hi Shailesh – good to have you back,

      Nice to know that you liked the post πŸ™‚

      Oh yes…that’s why it’s said love makes the world goes round…lol…it sure works well for those who find their love and are happy. But it is also the reason for heart breaks and misery for those who don’t find love in their life. Finding the right partner is essential, and sometimes that takes time. But then who said finding love was easy…keep looking, and you’d surely find the perfect one.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views πŸ™‚

  47. Disha Sharma

    December 3, 2013 at 10:04 am

    Hello Harleena Singh,

    It’s perfect post to know how to Find Love That Lasts! I really love & appreciate this superb explanation of this post but Harleena, don’t you think finding love is easy but handling a relationship it to hard ?

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      Harleena Singh

      December 9, 2013 at 2:33 pm

      Welcome to the blog Disha!

      Well, thank you for saying that, and I’m glad you liked all that I’ve written about these ways to find love. Yes indeed, finding love is the easy part, but once you find it, keeping it is what takes lots of hard work. But I’m sure you can manage that if you really love the person dearly, isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by πŸ™‚

  48. Adrienne

    December 4, 2013 at 7:55 am

    Well Harleena, I will agree that in order to find a love that lasts you definitely have to love yourself first. You have to be okay if you suddenly find that’s not the right person for you and then let them go. Know that you’ll be just fine if they leave.

    I know that’s why a lot of my friend’s relationships have ended because of their insecurity and boy that’s just not a very pretty thing to watch.

    As you know I have no love interest. Let’s see, the last long-term relationship I had ended in 2001. I’ve dated twice since then but both lasted about six months each. They were fun but not the one.

    I guess I’m not closed to the idea but I’m also not at a place that I’m open to it either. I think it would be nice to share my life with someone but when the time is right. It’s been so long I’m not sure where I’d even start but I also know when your heart is open to it and you’re eager to welcome it in, the doors will open for you.

    Really wonderful post and I’m sorry I’m just now getting by. The holidays really put be behind because I actually stayed off the computer for the majority of it. Yay me!

    Thank you again and enjoy your week.

    ~Adrienne

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      Harleena Singh

      December 9, 2013 at 2:55 pm

      Hi Adrienne,

      Absolutely! I think self-love is very important if you have to love another person. I agree with you there too, if the person you feel is not right for you, you need to let go of such a person and end such a relationship.

      Many a times people carry on with relationships they don’t really like or even when they know it’s not working for them any longer. And what surprises me more is that they carry on for years altogether till it reaches a point when the suffering becomes unbearable, or sometimes a threat to their life before moving out.

      I know you’ve had your share of it all, and I’m sure you’re much better off without any presently, rather than being with someone that you know isn’t working.

      I agree with you there, and I think sharing your life at a certain age is much more enjoyable than taking the other aspect of it. I guess you look more for companionship than anything else, foremost in a person, someone who can become your best friend, before he becomes a life partner. Keep the doors open, and you never know when you’d find love knocking at your door πŸ™‚

      No worries at all. I completely understand how the holiday season affects our work. I had a tough time when my dad was around too, and I’m just about catching up with a lot of pending comments myself.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. Have a nice week ahead πŸ™‚

  49. Erica Politica

    December 6, 2013 at 4:49 am

    I agree with a lot of what you said. I am in love with my fiance and it is absolutely amazing. It is also realistic. Sometimes, I just want to wring his neck, but I know that soon enough we will be lovey dovey again.

    I do not think that finding love is easy. Just to demonstrate how hard it is, my fiance is the first person I ever dated and I am almost 30. No high school sweetheart, no college sweetheart, no work-related sweetheart, nothing, just a bunch of loneliness and tears. But, like you said, love happened when I met my beau in my congregation.

    If I was to give a piece of advice to those looking for love, I would say to stop looking, but be available and ready when it finds you. In other words, when you go out with friends or travel somewhere, don’t keep your eyes open like you are looking for someone because if it doesn’t happen you will be disappointed. Still, you need to be ready if that person does come and express interest in you. The reason why many people have not found love yet is because they refuse to think of their friends as anything more, even if it is for no reason at all. So if a nice person comes to you and you enjoy their conversation, do not dismiss them thinking that they are only interested in friendship as if they could never look at you as something more. That is how people get stuck in the friend zone. In fact, I was a permanent friend to many guys that just could not see me as anything more. My fiance even told me that he was about to park himself in my friend zone because he thought I would never be interested in him. Yup, both women and men do it. So ease up on looking for love, but be ready to accept it in a form that may not be what you are expecting.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 9, 2013 at 3:11 pm

      Welcome to the blog Erica!

      Glad to know more about you and your love. πŸ™‚

      Ah…I can understand the ‘wring the neck’ part of it all…lol…such feelings do come, and then you are back to your old self, very much in love again. It’s pretty surprising to know that you found your love at 30 and not earlier, which is very rare! Or perhaps there were situations or men that you didn’t think were worthwhile.

      Your advice is spot on! You need to ‘be visible’ and there so that people know you are available whenever love happens. Love just happens and you need to let it occur whenever it does, without looking desperate, as few people do at times. I think you raised a very important point here about chalking out your friend zone and keeping your options open when and IF you find someone who might enter the love zone too. I think your heart will guide you to make the right judgement. But you also need to be sure to know who all to be friends with, and who is that one special one who becomes more than that….after all it’s only a good friend who usually makes a good lover too, isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and adding more to the post πŸ™‚

  50. Shannon

    December 7, 2013 at 12:06 am

    Beautiful post, I feel so blessed because my husband and I will be celebrating 24 amazing years together this year. Not only do I feel so fortunate that we have been together so long but that they have also been 24 amazing years together. We are each others greatest champions and I look forward to another 24 years with him (more if possible!)

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      Harleena Singh

      December 9, 2013 at 3:16 pm

      Hi Shannon,

      Awesome indeed! Congratulations in-advance for your anniversary, whenever it falls this month πŸ™‚

      I agree with you there – being together for so long, especially when you hear and see so many divorce cases around isn’t easy. You need to keep working on your relationship to keep it ever young, and I’m sure that’s the secret to your happy married life, isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by, and we wish you many more years of togetherness πŸ™‚

  51. Carol B

    December 7, 2013 at 1:18 am

    Ah Harleena, you’ve done it again!

    Another inspiring post, and one that should be read by everyone! Finding true love isn’t always easy now, is it. I can just hope that my boys are fortunate in their adult lives to find that one true love they can spend the rest of their lives with.

    Happy Friday to you!

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      Harleena Singh

      December 9, 2013 at 3:20 pm

      Hi Carol,

      Thank you for saying that, and I do hope people looking for love find this post useful πŸ™‚

      I’m sure your boys will take after you and find the love of their lives and live happily thereafter. Finding true love takes time, but when you find it, keeping it is what takes effort, isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by, and have a nice week ahead as well πŸ™‚

  52. Tanya

    December 7, 2013 at 3:16 am

    So many beautiful quotes, Harleena! Love them all.

    I’ll be honest – love has always been one of the elusive mysteries for me, although I very much believe in it and want to find my special someone. In the past I have been fairly resistant to opening myself up for a variety of reasons. I am much more open today, although it still scares me a bit but that’s okay. I do agree that we really have to know who we are and be comfortable with ourselves first, which was something I needed to work on. I’ve come a long ways and remind myself to be patient and open.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 9, 2013 at 3:26 pm

      Hi Tanya,

      Ah…glad to know that you also love quotes! I just can’t do without adding a few to my posts πŸ™‚

      I’m sure you will one day – just keep the faith and your doors wide open. Yes, sometimes we think or worry too much, or have our own reservations and reasons, which I’m glad you’ve overcome now. Perhaps a little scary, but if you are careful enough and ready to mix around, you’d find someone worthy of your love.

      Absolutely! I think only when you love and know yourself, can you love another person. This again most of us don’t really dwell much time on, but it’s important to know who we are and what we want, isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Wishing you the best too, for finding the right person πŸ™‚

  53. Maggie

    December 7, 2013 at 1:52 pm

    Getting to know a person well takes time. It can’t be a whirlwind courtship followed by a quick wedding. That might seem romantic in the movies, but it often leads to heartache in real life. If it’s real it will last. An old saying: “Marry in haste; repent at leisure.” Take your time!

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      Harleena Singh

      December 9, 2013 at 3:29 pm

      Hi Maggie,

      Oh yes…it does take time to know a person, and you must give the other person time to know you before you finalize things. I agree with you there – you should never rush up things, or end up in marriage under pressure, instead, let things take time till you know each other well enough. That saying fits in perfectly here πŸ™‚

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views πŸ™‚

  54. Arelis Cintron

    December 10, 2013 at 10:40 am

    I am in love. In less than a year I’ll be marrying him. We met in high school through mutual friends and we became good friends over the years that followed. I didn’t think I could love him anymore than I already had, but with each passing day I find myself in love him a little more. Its a lovely feeling. But more importantly he feels home.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 10, 2013 at 10:54 am

      Hi Arelis,

      Awesome! I can well imagine the feeling πŸ™‚

      It all sounds like a dream come true, isn’t it? To marry someone you’ve known for that long a time, but that’s actually the real way because you’ve literally grown up together and know each other so well. God bless both of you – you surely have found your love. πŸ™‚

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us πŸ™‚

  55. Donna

    December 12, 2013 at 7:23 am

    First off, I’m so glad I’m not in the dating scene. πŸ™‚ I have been with my husband since 1991 and he is my best friend. I have the utmost respect for him and adore him. I think (okay, I know) he feels the same about me. πŸ™‚ These are great tips for those seeking love, though!

  56. Ellen M. Gregg

    December 13, 2013 at 9:37 pm

    This is great, Harleena.

    I’ve finally reached a point where I’m not looking, so much as I’m allowing. I’m allowing the possibility, so I’m open to it. At the same time, I’m very happy being in a relationship with myself – something that’s taken me a long time to come to. Knowing that, I don’t worry about or fear being alone in life, in the context of a romantic partnership. It’s incredibly freeing.

  57. Jens P. Berget

    December 17, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    I have actually thought about this, what would happen if I had to start all over again? Well, not that I am hoping that it would happen, because I love my wife and we have three kids and we’ve been together forever. But, what would happen? I certainly would follow your advice, but I am not so sure if I would use a dating service – maybe if I didn’t find anyone for a long time, then I would consider using it. It’s not that there’s something wrong with it. It’s just that I wouldn’t feel comfortable, I think.

    – Jens

  58. Disha Sharma

    December 21, 2013 at 10:09 am

    Hello Harleena !!!

    I appreciate your this valuable post all about love, This post is really valuable for youngsters & teenagers ! Those get in touch with fake love & fake feeling ! Feeling are most touching part of love & some people always disturb to our true feeling toward him & her. People must be aware about fake love & fake promises, Harleena I just understand clear rejection is always best than fake feeling.

  59. Meenakshi

    December 24, 2013 at 11:07 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    I here want to discuss the problem of one of my best friend. She got married in feb,2013. Her experience with her husband is not so good. She always tells me that her husbands hides some important things from her that she must know. Also have many more minor issues.. As a friend I advice her to give him time. As she is a house wife, I said her to do job for some time to keep herself busy. But for some reasons she cannot do job. What else I can say her. As I want to help her, Please suggest me how can I help her.

  60. Tamara Jones

    February 16, 2014 at 11:19 pm

    In my experience, as well as in the experience of many people I know, the ultimate best way to find true love is to strengthen the most crucial relationship we have in our lives – the relationship with ourselves. I think that once we’re content and absolutely at peace with ourselves, we radiate the kind of energy that lets people know we won’t ask anything impossible from them, we won’t use them to feel better about ourselves or anything of that kind.
    Useful article nonetheless.

  61. Profile photo of Naveen Kumar

    Naveen Kumar

    January 2, 2015 at 12:13 pm

    Hi Harleena Mam,
    I know I am too late to comment on this post what you shared a so interesting post thats why I can’t go ahead without leaving a comment here.
    According to mine point of view, love makes life so beautiful. If someone shows you love then you get more happiness. And a happy person can become perfect and he live long. But if you live with hate, it only create sorrows & nothing else and your life turned to hell.
    Again a big thanks to point out these all tips for us.

    With regards,
    Naveen Kumar



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5 Best Ways to Find Love That Lasts

by Harleena Singh time to read: 10 min