How to Deal With a Breakup in a Cohabitation Agreement

Steps you can take to survive a breakup

- | 1 Aha! comments | Posted in category: Love & Relationships

Discorded man and woman after a breakup in a cohabitation agreement

Breakups are not easy to deal with. Though a cohabitation agreement may help to make things easier if you’re not married, you still need to prepare yourself emotionally and mentally to recover from a breakup. Here are some ways that can help you to deal with a breakup. ~ Ed.

Coming to the end of a relationship is turbulent and stressful at the best of times.

Even when things are left peacefully and amicably, it is still an emotionally testing time for both parties. When the breakup involves separating a home, the complications can seem never-ending.

There are more and more couples now opting for a cohabitation agreement when living together, which on the plus side means fewer complications than marriage in many ways.

But contrary to popular belief, it is still a legal document, and it pays to be in the know about its ins and outs in the unfortunate event of a breakup.

What exactly does it mean to have a cohabitation agreement?

To put it simply, a cohabitation agreement is a type of domestic contract between two people who are living with each other.

Without this agreement and the level of protection that it offers, a breakup would be far more uncertain.

However, as well as being in a cohabitation agreement, there are plenty of other steps you can take to survive a breakup. This guide should hopefully shed some light on your options and the best steps.

7 Ways to Deal with a Breakup Being in a Cohabitation Agreement

The steps you take to be positive and bring peace in your life will give you the strength to deal with your breakup. Here is what you can do.

Don’t overwhelm yourself with negativity 

There’s usually more than one reason for the breakdown of a relationship. Whatever reason (or series of reasons) are responsible for you both going your separate ways, the point is to remember the reasons for what they are.

There are logical explanations for the end of this period in your life, and on some level, you must both feel that it is for the best.

Of course, the transition is painful, but also it always has a purpose! So, try and practise positive thinking on this one, and work towards eliminating those black clouds and negative thought processes. As easy as it is to build up resentments and feel badly towards the other person, it doesn’t actually benefit you in any way to wallow.

Easier said than done, isn’t it? But keeping a positive mind really will pay off with you coping overall with the changes to come.

With practice, doing this will make it easier to feel more peaceful and eventually move on – not to mention make the rest of the cohabitation situation a tiny bit more bearable.

As well as this, it’s important to know that displaying any further contempt towards your ex-partner (especially while you’re under the same roof as them) will not help the breakup process at all. If you continue those old, bad habits and express bad feelings to one another, you’re basically continuing in a toxic relationship rather than working towards coming out of one. 

Set clear boundaries that you both stick to

We understand that you’d want to keep communication with your ex as limited as possible after the breakup. However, if you’re tied to a cohabitation agreement with them, a little communication and directness may go a long way.

For example, you may each want to designate a private space in the flat or house to retreat to, just to establish that distance and peace from what has become an unmanageable situation.

Even though you would still be sharing a home, you may find that having that space from each other will work wonders for the healing process. You may even find yourself in a situation where you’re able to be amicable, leading to all-round better communication, and ultimately more peace for when you make the final break. 

See friends and laugh

This is one of the most important parts of recovering from any breakup. One that involves you moving out of your home or separating under the safe roof makes it even more crucial.

Call up your friends, and make an effort to go around for a meal or for a few drinks. There’s nothing worse than sitting indoors feeling sorry for yourself, especially if your ex-partner is still under the same roof for the time being.

Make time to laugh and enjoy yourself in different surroundings, and if you are on good enough terms, encourage your partner to do the same. It will inevitably lead to you both being in a better mood and subsequently more equipped to take on the challenges that may follow. 

Make more time for yourself 

After all those big fights and long nights with your ex, you may think that someone quality alone time is most certainly overdue. So, from time to time, why not go on a leisurely lone walk or go on a romantic lunch date with yourself?

Now, we’re not saying that you have to completely isolate yourself from the rest of the world, or always be out of the house when your partner is in. Instead, just take your alone time whenever you need it.

You will feel happy for doing this, and having that opportunity to ‘disappear’ will make that seemingly difficult cohabitation process just that little bit easier. 

Surround yourself with friends and family 

Now, you may have started to realise this a lot more after the breakup – there are other more important people in your life other than the person you live with. So, make time for these people!

After the end of a relationship, you may feel the need to have a good rant or seek reassurance from your loved ones. Most likely, they will be able to sympathise with you and understand that it must be very difficult for you to still be living with your ex.

Not to mention, having that background support is bound to make you happy and encourage you to move on. 

Learn from your past mistakes 

You’ve had the arguments, you may have shed a few tears, but what have these disputes taught you? Have they taught you to not sweat the small stuff, or simply lower your expectations?

And so, a little reflection after a breakup may be wise. This is even more important if you are still in a cohabitation agreement with each other. At the end of the day, the last thing that you’d want is the continuation of those silly arguments. 

Get help from cohabitation solicitors

Last but certainly not least, never be afraid to ask for legal assistance.

As mentioned, a cohabitation agreement is ultimately the solution for any disputes that may occur in a relationship. Cohabitation Solicitors such as Abacus Solicitors can give guidance on any disputes that may occur, as well as assist with establishing new cohabitation agreements.

Wrapping Up

Though a cohabitation agreement helps reduce complications after a breakup if you’re not married, a phase of emotional and mental suffering may ensue post-breakup. However, you can get over and deal with these stressful times.

It is important that you keep negativity at bay and make efforts to remain positive. You need to set clear boundaries to get that elusive peace you want.

Your positivity and better mood can help you recover from the breakup, and jovial get-togethers with your friends and family set your spirits high. Moreover, having more of “me time” would give you the strength to undergo the stressful cohabitation process.

If you make efforts to reflect upon all things related to your breakup and learn important lessons from it, then it may help you deal with the breakup.

Over to you

Have you had a breakup being in a cohabitation agreement? How did you deal with those times? Share your tips and experiences in the comments to help others.

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post and the views presented are entirely of the sponsorer.



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One Comment - Read and share thoughts

  1. Amar Kumar

    2020-01-27 at 2:01 pm

    Hey Harleena,

    You have shared very interesting as well as informative facts regarding subject. Negative thoughts are always lethal for relationship, it has bad impact on overall relationships.

    My friends are very funny they refresh mine mind when we are in same place so I can also say that friends and family play crucial role in this kind of circumstances.

    We should really learn from done mistake in past, if we take our mistakes in positive way – it always provides us opportunity to learn. Eventually, thanks for sharing your experience with us.

    With best wishes,

    Amar Kumar




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How to Deal With a Breakup in a Cohabitation Agreement

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