10 Tips For Healthy Relationships in Life

Table of Contents What Is A Healthy RelationshipSigns Of A Healthy RelationshipWhat Is An Unhealthy RelationshipSigns Of An…
A happy couple giving tips on healthy relationship

You all know that healthy relationships bring love and happiness into your life. However, learning more tips to have a healthy relationship would only do you good, right?

So here’s my special relationship advice – treat your relationships like investments!

No, of course you do not treat your relationship in terms of money, but value it as a priceless possession that only grows better with time.

Also, it’s true that the more you put into your relationships, the more you get back in return – in most of the cases at least.

And why not – a relationship that is good and healthy, improves your life, mind, health, and your connections with others.

You can have a healthy relationship with your family, friends, parents, siblings, girlfriends, boyfriends, classmates, teachers, and just about anyone.

There are no secrets to creating relationships that are happy and healthy. Studies show that people with healthy relationships are less stressed and have more of happiness in their life.

However, did you know there are healthy and unhealthy relationships that some people have?

Unhealthy relationships on the contrary can be quite a pain. When relationships do not work, it can be a reason for a lot of stress and trauma.

You might like to read aboutRelationship Issues: How To Avoid Them

But before I proceed further, let’s try to understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships.

That’s because if you know what is unhealthy in a relationship, you’ll value the healthier relationships in your life.

Not only will you learn the tips to have healthy relationships, but you’ll also know how to avoid its unhealthy aspects.

“The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are.” ~ Stephen R. Covey


What Is A Healthy Relationship

Healthy relationships allow both parties to feel connected and supported, yet feel independent. Such a relationship results in healthier men and women, both physically and emotionally.

Relationships that are happy and healthy are an enjoyable experience.

Signs Of A Healthy Relationship

Some signs of a healthy relationship are when both partners –

• Listen to each other
• Compromise when required
• Treat each other with love and respect
• Do not criticize each other
• Are free and feel supported to do things they like
• Respect each other’s boundaries
• Do not accuse each other constantly
• Do not pressurize each other to do things they don’t want to do
• Trust each other
• Feel good about being with each other
• Share each other’s thoughts and feelings without any fear
• Celebrate each other’s joys, accomplishments, and successes
• Permit each other to spend time with family and friends
• Share some interests like music, writing, reading, sports, or movies

More details about these a little further.

However, all relationships aren’t healthy and there are times when you come across detrimental relationships too. Here is how you define an unhealthy relationship.

“However good or bad you feel about your relationship, the person you are with at this moment is the “right” person, because he or she is the mirror of who you are inside.” ~ Deepak Chopra

What Is An Unhealthy Relationship

Unhealthy relationships tend to leave you feeling afraid, sad, and uncomfortable. A relationship is unhealthy when it involves abusive or controlling behavior.


As per Columbia University health professionals, relationships where one person tries to control the other or is afraid of the other are unhealthy.

DO READ9 Early Signs Of An Abusive Relationship

Signs Of An Unhealthy Relationship

If you see these signs of an unhealthy relationship, you certainly need to change or make amends.

An unhealthy relationship is when you or your partner –

• Feel insecure and unsafe
• Are pressurized to change from who you are for the other person
• Feel anxious or disturbed around each other
• Remain worried when you disagree with each other
• Tend to neglect yourself or each other
• Feel pressurized to quit doing the things you used to enjoy
• Try to control or manipulate each other, whether about the way you act, look, dress, or any other
• Need to justify your actions about where you go or who you meet etc.
• Disrespect each others’ family and friends
Suffer from domestic violence where there is hitting, punching, slapping, and other violent acts
• Mistreat each other and call each other names
• Demand sex or refuse to have sex when the other needs it, nor practice safe sex

If you have any of these signs of an unhealthy relationship, it doesn’t mean you need to end your relationship, unless you are in an abusive relationship that you need to leave at once.

MUST READ: An Interview with Sheila Kelley

However, if you feel that things can be managed, then start working on them.

This way you can convert your unhealthy relationship to a happier one by following these tips for healthy relationships as mentioned below.

A married couple displaying their healthy relationship

Tips For Healthy Relationships

In healthy relationships the identity of both partners remains distinct, with each being free to do as and what one feels like. This creates a feeling of freedom and security.

Here are 10 tips for healthy relationships though I’m sure you can add many more to this list 🙂

1- Communicate, Talk, and Share

I don’t know how many times I’ve mentioned this one point in so many of my relationship related posts. That’s because it is the most essential factor for keeping your relationships healthy.

Poor communication always leads to relationship problems.

If something bothers you or you are troubled by some thought, it’s best to talk it over instead of keeping it within you.

You also need to learn how to listen and respond, rather than react negatively. Remember, the more you talk and communicate, the better your relationship becomes.

Tip: When you talk to someone, look into the eyes of the person, which shows you are attentive and listening. Hear them out and share your feelings – discuss and resolve issues.

2- Support and Nurture Each Other

Whatever be your relationship, you need to be supportive of each other by encouraging and reassuring your partner.

Let your partner or others around you also know when you need their support.

Take care of each other’s health, and enjoy the beauty, flowers, laughter, food, and everything around you. Live your relationships to the fullest.

Tip: No matter what the situation, stand by each other, of course there are exceptions! Remember, keeping relationships healthy is all about building each other up, not pulling each other down. Be by their side, they need you more than you can imagine.

3- Boost Your Relationship

Every relationship needs a boost now and then. You may need such boosters if you feel like the relationship is going stale or you feel disconnected from each other.

Take out quality time to spend with each other, away from all kind of work, family, kids, if you are partners or a spouse. If not, you still need to give your relationship time – away from other work.

Reboot it I would say by doing things together. Like, find a fun activity that you both enjoy. It could be just to talk things out, play some game, walk, drive, or anything that you both like to do.

Don’t feel overwhelmed in your work so that you aren’t able to connect with others. Find time to be with each other and strengthen your relationships.

Tip: Bring back the spice in your relationship by surprising and bonding with each other. The more you remain with each other, the better your relationship becomes.

4- Cooperate With Each Other

There are bound to be disagreements in a healthy relationship. But it’s important that you find ways to compromise and negotiate if you disagree on something.

There is always give and take in a healthy relationship. So if you expect to get what you want all the time, without giving anything in return, you’d be disappointed.

Both parties need to recognize what’s important to each other and need to work for that, without bringing their egos in or thinking of making their point always.

Tip: Try to be fair and resolve conflicts in a rational way.

Family members in a healthy relationship with each other.

5- Build The Respect and Trust

Whether it is your partner, parent child, or friend, you should respect and value the feelings and wishes of others.

There needs to be mutual respect, trust, and understanding to maintain healthy relationships.

“The fundamental glue that holds any relationship together is trust.” ~ Brian Tracy

Also, learn to respect each other’s privacy by giving each other space. Just being in a relationship doesn’t mean you need to be together all the time and share everything!

Tip: Work through relationship problems calmly as this makes it easy to figure out how to fix relationships issues with respect and trust.

6- Create Healthy Boundaries

When you set boundaries together, you can understand the kind of relationship you and your partner want.

Boundaries aren’t meant to make you feel trapped, nor are they meant to create distrust.

When you create such healthy boundaries, you are able to respect each other’s needs and likes, and go out with family and friends without your partner.

Nor do you have to share passwords to your phone, social media accounts, or emails with each other if not required.

Tip: Creating boundaries helps you live your life with each other with freedom to do what you like in your own way.

7- Develop Self-esteem

People in healthy relationships feel good about themselves and have good self-esteem.

They feel good about everything they do, whether it’s personal or professional and you can see them beaming with joy.

Don’t forget to pep up your partner by appreciating the little things they do and pay attention to the vital issues.

Tip: When you feel good about yourself, you see the good in others too. You need to express your emotions and feelings for each other to boost each other’s self confidence and morale.

Do ReadHow To Boost Self Esteem In 8 Simple Ways

8- Be Assertive and Fight Fair

Being assertive means to clearly and respectfully ask for what you want, without any force or threats. Even if you have conflicts, which happen in any healthy relationship, learn to fight fair.

What you can do in such cases is –

Plan out a time and talk about it, and don’t ignore the problem at hand.

Don’t give the silent treatment to each other just because you want to keep away from the problem.

Don’t assume or presume things without hearing the other person out.

Don’t take out your problems on your partner, whether it is personal or work related.

Don’t criticize each other. Try to resolve the problem, not attack the person. Remember healthy relationships don’t blame.

Apologize when you are wrong – it goes a long way to build a happy relationship, which admit mistakes.

Don’t hold grudges with each other as that just drains you off. Healthy relationships don’t hold on to past misunderstandings and hurt in relationships. Remember, the more you see the best in others, the better your relationship gets.

• If you need help, ask for it or share your relationship problems with us.

• When nothing works, you have a choice to move out of a relationship.

Keep your expectations realistic and don’t expect the other person to change according to you.

Don’t be aggressive when you communicate, instead respect the right of others, along with your own.

Tip: A healthy relationship means to accept people as they are without trying to change them. Don’t be aggressive, but be assertive.

“To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.” ~ Domenico Cieri Estrada

9- Shift Roles Often

When you step into the shoes of the other person, you can experience what they go through. It helps you experience and live their life for a while so you understand all that they undergo.

Be open to shifting roles, like both men and women can take care of the kids, family, work, and yet find time for other things.

Tip: Live each other’s lives to know about the life of the other person. It helps develop compassion and understanding towards each other.

10- Be Dependable and Flexible

People prefer keeping situations the way they are and don’t want to adapt to change. Healthy relationships mean that you are ready to change and grow.

You need to be dependable in a relationship. So when you make a plan with someone, make sure you follow it through. If you take up a responsibility, ensure you complete it.

Tip: A healthy relationship is trustworthy, where change and growth are allowed.

“Commitment is inherent in any genuinely loving relationship.” ~ Scott Peck

Sometimes you might feel that everyone else around you is happy, connected, and in a healthy relationship, except you. Have you ever felt that way?

But the truth is most people feel like you do and wonder how to have a healthy relationship too!

You need to remember that it takes time to get to know people, talk and respond to them, something you need to keep trying.

It’s an ongoing process and developing such relationships can be learned and practiced, which only get better with time.

So, now with all these tips for healthy relationships, aren’t you going to work on your relationships and make them better?

Go ahead and make full efforts – value your relationships and your loved ones 🙂

“Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.” ~ Anthony J D Angelo

Over to you

How do you develop and maintain a healthy relationship? What other tips for healthy relationships would you add to this list? Share in the comments.

Photo Credit: Freedigitalphotos

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  1. Thanks, Harleena for the useful and informative post. It is high time couples follow the above tips for healthy relationships. Parents must ensure good relationship so that they do not affect the mental growth of their children. Giving time for each other would work wonders in nurturing relationship between couples.

  2. thanks aha this is information very importan for my family to get harmonisation in litle very thanks

  3. I completely agree with all the points that you have mentioned in the article. As per me the two most important things that has to be kept in the relationship is respecting each other and most imp is honesty. A relation is fully complete….

  4. Such an amazing post. What tends to help me towards healthy relationships is learning to love myself first. It could sometimes be tempted to do whatever you could to save a relationship because you’re scared of being alone. And I admit. Sometimes being single isn’t the greatest feeling. But I think before anyone should commit to a relationship, they should learn to know themselves, what kind of partner they want, and what kind of person they want to become. By answering these type of questions, anyone could find what they’re looking for. They only have to be patient and continue working towards their goals.

  5. Relationship is about the true between your partner. We should not lie each other. Patient with your partner and accept everything because not everyone perfect.

  6. This is true however when the other person does not want to live with you and love to create problems in your life then nothing can be done. Been there and just hate to get into relationship now

  7. I love this article! Harleena you’re so helpful and encouraging. Relationships are definitely dynamic and unfortunately I’ve been in both healthy and unhealthy ones. Most are healthy today because I pay attention to the relationship I have with myself.I make sure it’s healthy by monitoring what I’m focusing on; the good or the bad. Whatever I focus on is what I become. And when I do this, it allow others the freedom to be themselves. And that’s what most people want in their realtionships; the freedom to be themselves. Thanks for sharing these great points with us!

  8. This is certainly one of my favorite articles! Really interesting, and easy to relate!

  9. Great relationship advice, topic one is particularly important as communication is key, lack of communication causes more disagreements.

  10. We’ve a close friend who depends on her husband to boost her self-worth. She has very small self-esteem, and if he doesn’t speak her way up constantly the lady feels horrible about herself and ticked down at them. Talk with regards to putting pressure on them! They continually have fights over this specific.

    forgetting that they both have clear signals but in many cases are ignored due to some egocentric reasons. thumbs way up madam.

  11. I just found this blog piece SO helpful. It’s all too easy to fall into unhealthy routines with the one you love because you unconsciously know they’ll allow it, and it’s not okay. Talking about ways to keep things happy and healthy are great to see in stark contrast to how people interact anymore.

  12. am glad to read this article as some people get confused between a healthy relationship and unhealthy one.. forgetting that they both have clear signs but are often ignored because of some selfish reasons. thumbs up madam

  13. The self-esteem point is so important! You have to feel good about yourself because depending on your partner to do that will cause your relationship to be rocky.

    I have a friend who depends on her husband to boost her self-worth. She has very low self-esteem, and if he doesn’t talk her up constantly she feels horrible about herself and ticked off at him. Talk about putting pressure on him! They constantly have fights over this.

    She doesn’t understand that her self-worth comes from within, and she will never feel good about herself until she stops relying on her husband.

  14. Very good article Madam! I appropriated with all these point to stay healthy relationships. Respect and Trust is a good point, Trust is the sign of good relationship.

    Thank You

  15. Hi Harlenna,

    Love this post. It is evident you know “relationships”. I really enjoyed the signs of a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one. It really makes you think and put things in perspective.

    I am single but have a lot of significant relationships with people I have met over the years while serving in the military. Your point about treating your relationships like an investment is spot on. If we treat our relationships as a priceless possession we will hold it in high regard and do all we can to nurture it and build upon it.

    I am saving this article because I have grown from it. Thank you for sharing.

  16. Hello Ms. Harleena
    I love your articles, because they are eye openers to so many life issues.

    Like Ms. Donna, I have been in both types of relationships. But I will say that as I have matured as a lady, I have learned to cherish relationships that are part of my life. It is sad to say, but I have better relationships outside of my siblings. There has never been peace and now I get to speak to two of my sisters.
    Relationships is an art and it takes hard work, but I know it is possible to establish great relationships.
    As a minister I have great relationships with the congregation that God send to me and we are still learning how to create a cohesiveness among us.
    Thank you for this great article.

  17. Harleena,

    Great post! Thank you for sharing!

    I’ve been married for 11 months now and am crazy about my awesome husband. One thing other that has really helped our relationship is laughing together, even when things get rough!

  18. Hi Harleena,
    I wonder what kind of relationship would a blogger be into… the “healthy” or the “unhealthy” !

    building a healthy relationship, you need to have time for your partner so they can feel loved and “that somebody is listening” 🙂 . But i wonder, is it possible for a blogger to give 80% time of its busy time to just that?

    Family is family and family comes first… but without paying the bills, relationship suck 🙁 . But the truth is, your life will only be perfect if both parties understands their selves (That’s what we call true love)

    I got all your points dear friend, and i will carryout those tips you mentioned that i have been ignoring 🙂

    Thanks for the lovely post and do have a wonderful week ahead…

  19. Hey Harleena,

    So you know my history and my story so I definitely will not bore you with that again. I get tired of hearing myself talk about it a lot of times myself.

    I do agree with you though on all these key points whether or not it’s a significant other, your friends or family. I watched a movie the other night and although it wasn’t a true one it really made me sad. It was about two best friends from childhood and they eventually had a horrible disagreement but in the end came back together because they just loved each other so much.

    My long time friendship went south and I bailed. I had tried for two years straight though to get her to understand the issues I had with her and she just thought I was being silly and ridiculous. It broke my heart that my best friend of 27 years didn’t care enough about me to want to fix the issues. Well you know the rest so you definitely have to be willing to support one another and work it out darn it.

    Great advice as always and I’m sure your points will be very helpful for many.


  20. Hi Harleena,

    I’m still have not married yet. Well, I’m still too young to get married though 🙂
    However, some of these tips can be applied to the people closest to us or our family, right? 🙂

    I think communication is the main thing of any relationship. If the communication is good, then we can express what we want from each other, and this can reduce conflict in relationships.

    Thanks for sharing this, Harleena.
    Nice share!


  21. Harleena- Your advice is so right on.

    I have been married 49 years and still love my husband. I like the one you mentioned. Treat each other with love and respect. I can say what has worked for us is not to change the other person and put demands on the other person that you expect. We all change throughout life and the acceptance needs to continue. The other advice I can give is never stop communicating no matter what the outcome. Things can be worked out before they mushroom

  22. Hi Harleena,

    What great advice! I’ve been on both sides of the coin. First I was always in abusive relationships. I just didn’t know the signs.

    But, I did learn the hard way. I had to make a lot of changes within myself.

    Now my marriage with hubby is going on to its 24th year. It’s a keeper! I always say communication is the key to a good marriage. I am blessed to have that.

    Yes we do disagree on certain things, but never ever point a finger at one another. We stick to the subject, share our points of view and come to a compromise all the time.

    There are times when one of us “gives in” because of the importance of an issue. We may give in and bend a little but share our feelings. It is always appreciated.

    We are an odd couple because not only are we married, but we work the same business. We are together 24/7, but enjoy it. We may have differences of opinions in our business also, but we discuss the pros and cons to reach a decision. We never raise our voices and do honor and respect each other. Another blessing.

    Also, we are a blended family. David has 3 children from a previous marriage and I have a daughter. Four our children’s sake, we walked slowly into the relationship. It isn’t easy, but we kept focusing on our children.

    We even get along with both our ex’s! It is so much fun to see our children and grand children get together with the ex’s too and their partners. It is one big family.

    I truly feel that in this kind of situation, marriages can be in deep trouble if they don’t have enough love. Our family is important to both of us and when our kids are happy we are.

    Yes, we always remember when we are in our daily grind to stop and put things on pause to do something special. It could be a romantic dinner, or a getaway weekend. Just to add that spark of romance one needs.

    Thanks for a beautiful article.


  23. Hello Harleena,

    Another great post by you. One real friend is worth ten thousand relatives.

    Courage means to keep working a relationship, to continue seeking solutions to difficult problems, and to stay focused during stressful periods.


  24. Hi Harleena,

    You had posted very lovely concept. In this world almost people in relationship. some people relationship very healthy and some people relationship unhealthy. i agree with you all healthy relationship things yes you are right trust is most important for all the relationship.

    Thanx for sharing!!!!!

    Keep it up 🙂

  25. Hi Harleena,
    Once Again you came up with an awesome article!!! 🙂
    Resides in relationship it is too important for every one to make their relation healthy. All the tips that you have mentioned above are very helpful for us and i am sure it will help a lots of peoples. In general sometime in a relation lots of problems arises due to some misunderstanding and it makes a lots of difference between two peoples. I think In a their must be a mutual understanding and loyalty, and all the tips that you have mentioned above.
    Very informative and helpful article Indeed 🙂
    Thanks for sharing.
    Keep posting.

  26. Hi Harleena,

    I have never tried shifting roles with my wife. Well, I do take care of the kids and I do cook dinner and I do the laundry etc.. but we’ve never discussed what it would mean to switch roles. That’s very interesting, and I’m going to talk to her about that.. what it means and how we could do it. I’ve always thought that we did the same things and that it wouldn’t matter who did what, but I’m not so sure anymore 🙂

    Thanks for the tips Harleena.

    1. Hi Jens,

      That’s alright, not all of us do it, but if we did and just stepped into each others shoes for a while we would know what the other person goes through, isn’t it? 🙂

      Wow! I must make my hubby read all this. You certainly do a great deal as compared to what most men would do! Perhaps you are both working so who so ever is home, if the other goes out to work, does the chores, and then when the other person returns, they take over. Couples have such arrangements too, especially when both sides are working.

      Switching roles would be she does what you do, and you do what she does, just for a day or few days, to know what the life of the other person is – it makes you more compassionate and understanding towards each other I feel. Yes, that’s the way we tend to think 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us 🙂

  27. I feel communication trumps all tips. Power post here. Communicate, listen, share your feelings and respect others to breed healthy relationships.

    Super post!


    1. Hi Ryan,

      Completely agree with you 🙂

      I think if we don’t communicate, how can we ever express our feelings and know each other better. You said it all in your lines here!

      Thanks for stopping by, and glad you liked the post as well 🙂

    1. Hi Jodi,

      I love that, though most people never get around doing it and tend to expect more, which leads to frustration and relationships problems. Hope these tips help.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  28. I’m big on communication. I mean how else are people going to know how you feel or your view. They can’t read your mind.

    Being straight with someone is the best way for all of you to be on the same page.

    Great tips as usual Harleena!


    1. Hi Lea,

      Me too! I wonder how people manage to live under the same roof without communicating, because there are many of such cases we come across. But I guess in such relationships you just cannot grow or move further. You need to be on the same page as you mentioned, for which you need to talk and share each others thoughts and feelings.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂

  29. Excellent advice in this post, Harleena – I especially like your point about keeping healthy boundaries. When relationships become too enmeshed it can cause enormous problems and it’s also makes it much more difficult to deal with if the relationship comes to an end for some reason, whether through separation or bereavement.

    1. Hi Susan – so good to see you 🙂

      Yes, and I think that’s another point most people tend to forget. Keeping healthy boundaries ensures we are dependent, yet independent in a lot of things we do and that let’s us all breathe in our own spaces. I agree, relationship problems can occur due to a lot of reasons but if we know how to deal with them, perhaps through these tips mentioned, it would help all of us.

      Thanks for taking out the time to stop by here today – wonderful to have you back on Aha!NOW 🙂

  30. Hello there, This is my second visit to your site and found this site same bioinformatic as before. Really greats tips to follow, I’ll try to implement to some of them
    Keep it up, Enjoy..

    1. Hi Mayank – nice to have you back 🙂

      Nice to know that you found these tips informative and yes, I do try to share it all with my readers so that it helps them in more ways than one.

      Thanks for stopping by, and it would be great if you can use them too 🙂

  31. Great tips for a healthy relationships. Bad relationships occur due to pressurisation on many aspects which then cause bad blood if you like. This then eventually escalates into real bad relations. I like your points and these can be used effectively to work on any bad relationships. Relationships can only be sorted if the couple wants and therefore will depend on if they want to sort it or separate. Great tips Harleena. By the way, I am not sure if I agree with “Do not criticize each other” – I do it all the time. It won’t be me if I was to stop doing that.
    Great post Harleena.

    1. Hi Shalu,

      Glad you liked these tips and could relate to them 🙂

      Yes, there are many reasons as to why bad or unhealthy relationships occur and each case is different from the other. I hope these tips for healthy relationships can help in that regard.

      I agree with you there and it’s a personal choice of the individual whether they want to resolve issue or call it splits. I guess most people want to make amends, especially if they are married unless things are really bad, when they should move out if they’ve tried it all and nothing works.

      Lol…don’t worry about the criticize part, we all tend to do that once in a while but then we get back to square one soon after – just don’t do it all the time! I guess it adds a little spice to the relationships, isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂

  32. Hi Harleena!

    Nice post on relationships! The first time i heard the opinion “Treat relationships like investments” which is indeed a special idea. Sometimes, i feel pain in building relationships with others, and this post can help me to improving my relationships with my family,my friends and others, thank you for sharing a wonderful post.


    1. Hi Franco,

      Yes indeed, relationships are like investments, aren’t they? And we surely need to give them our full or else they don’t work.

      Building relationships is a beautiful experience, whether it is with family or friends, and the more you put into it, the more you get back in return. I hope this post can help make your relationships stronger too.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views 🙂

      BTW – Do get yourself a Gravatar from their main site so we know who we are talking to – you need to register with your email ID on their site 🙂

  33. Relationship issues are the main reasons for destroyed marriages. You had given excellent tips to improve married life of couples. If only couples listen to it and bring it to practice they can find incredible happiness.I find it strange that couples are more interested in playing accusing games than trying to make their marriage work. It is so easy to destroy your marriage, but very hard to make it work. It needs contribution of love, care, support and protection from both.

    1. Welcome to my blog Mathi!

      Yes indeed, many marriages and homes are destroyed due to relationship problems between people and couples. These tips aren’t just to improve relationships between married couples, but improve relationships between anyone, whether siblings, parents, families or couples and partners.

      I agree with you there, some couples do that instead of trying to talk things and resolve issues – wish they make amends instead of causing more splits in their marriage. It needs effort from both sides.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views. 🙂

      BTW – It would be nice if you use a Gravatar as I see you have a nice picture of yours on your blog so that your links get approved here, so that we know who we are talking to – just a friendly suggestion 🙂

  34. Hi Harleena,

    What a wonderful post. the one line that caught my attention is fight fare. I think its because it was part of the title of gretchen ruben’s book the happiness project. so often discussions arguments or fights become about winning rather than loving. and listening is a real art that we must practice more often. thanks for sharing. take care, max

    1. Hi Max,

      Glad you liked the post 🙂

      Yes indeed, that is one point that is often neglected when relationship problems come up – we don’t fight fair. I guess it isn’t always easy to remember what is fair or not when we fight…lol…but at least you can keep it in mind so that you are careful, isn’t it?

      I agree there – most fights are based on ego problems and who wins or has the last say, and all of this goes through a process of raised voices and arguments, which results in nothing except bitterness. I wish people would be more giving, loving, understanding, and listen more than speak always.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂

      1. great advice at the end of your comment to always listen more than we talk. its one we had heard often but tend to forget in the heat of th moment. steven curvy devoted a large portion of his book seven habits of highly effective people to the subject of active listening. thanks again, max

  35. Hi Harleena!

    I love this post. You are so spot on with your top 10 and defining a healthy and unhealthy relationship. As you know some about my recent issues, I do believe you can rekindle or rebuild what was once lost. My hubs and I are still working on our relationship and I have to say, it’s better than it’s ever been. I still have trust issues with him but that too has to be rebuilt and re-earned.

    Thank you for this wonderful post. I’m gladly passing it along.


    1. Hi Bren,

      Glad you liked it and could relate to it too 🙂

      Absolutely! There are relationship problems in every marriage and the choice always lies in your hand as to how you want to deal with those issues. Do you want to call it quits, which is the easiest thing to do, or do you want to make amends to turn it into a happy and healthy relationship, which takes time and effort. More so, you work to bond better with your spouse and the love just grows the moment you start nurturing your relationship, isn’t it? Your decision was the right one and it’s just going to get better with time I’m sure.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us – appreciate the share too. 🙂

  36. Great wisdom and insights from this post. Building healthy relationships is hard work and contrary to a popular belief, it is not 50-50% but a 100-100% from both individual. It is no surprise that the #1 tip is ‘communicate, talk and share. I learned my lesson the hard way from my previous marriage by not opening up and talking about what was really bothering me and making me unhappy in the marriage…it continued to ‘fester’ and led to other unhealthy behavior until eventually, there was a total melt down and the marriage was destroyed.

    Thanks for the inspiration. 🙂

    1. Welcome to my blog Yvonne!

      Glad you liked the post, and I completely agree with you – you have to give it your full, or things don’t work 🙂

      Sorry to hear about your marriage, and yes, communication is the most important factor when it comes to building healthy relationships, with anyone for that matter – be it your partner, parents, siblings etc. If you don’t open up, as you mentioned, and remain pent up, it starts showing up in other ways and leads to major problems in your relationship or marriage as you cannot express yourself and your feelings. I hope more people can learn something from this post.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us 🙂

  37. Hi Harleena!

    This is a great post and a wonderful reminder of what to do and what not to do. I love that you presented a definition of what a healthy relationship is – and what it isn’t. Thank you so much.

    The quotes are ALL fantastic. So true! I remember Dr. Phil saying one time – and it stayed with me until now – ‘How would you like to be married to?’ Often, we focus so much on the other person’s weaknesses and the changes we want in the other person. But what we can change best is ourselves – and this might change the other person. Thanks for all the reminder! Have a great weekend 🙂

    1. Hi Ilka,

      Nice to know that you liked the post, and yes, though I just wanted to head away with the tips for a healthy relationship but it’s better to talk of what a healthy relationship is and an unhealthy one for a better understanding, isn’t it? 🙂

      Ah..I love quotes too and I think most of my posts have quotes, unless they already get too long, when I don’t add more quotes to avoid increasing the post length. Yes indeed, our fingers are always ready to point at the other person, but we forget – for that one finger pointed at someone else, we have 4 fingers still pointing at us. The change should always start with us and if get better in our relationships with others, they too will.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us. Have a nice weekend as well 🙂

  38. Hi Harleena,

    This is indeed yet another timely post!Because the value of relationship between each other diminishing alarmingly these days! Yes, you brought out a wonderful and informative piece for the time. The KEY WORD Today is No Doubt RELATIONSHIP!! In many areas of people’s lives this is indeed broken!

    Though its a bit difficult thing to mend it, still it is possible too. A healthy relationship between each other is a must in this technology or busy age! One need to keep up that in a balanced way otherwise that may end in disaster. The tips you pointed out here is really worth noting and to follow.

    This post reminded me of a famous India family, that itself is a subject for another blog post. This post prompted me to post another post in this subject. If God willing I will be posting that shortly and of course a back link to this page LOL 🙂

    I appreciate Harleena for taking the pain to pen such a wonderful and educative piece for your readers as well as to other visitors.
    Keep Going!
    May you have a wonderful weekend 🙂

    1. Hi Philip,

      I agree with you there and with relationship issues cropping up all over, hopefully this post comes at the right time for everyone 🙂

      Nothing comes easy in life, and just like in your work you have to devote time and effort to achieve success, same is the case in relationships. You need to give it your time and be present to make the efforts to make it work, or else it just doesn’t. Yes, we are all busy in our lives but if we want to make things work, especially relationships we need to follow these tips to bond better, isn’t it?

      That sounds like a good idea if you can come up with another post through this one, and I shall look forward to reading it at your blog. No pain at all if it’s well taken by my readers and helps them make their relationships happy and healthy.

      Thanks for stopping by and have a nice weekend as well 🙂

  39. Hi Harleena,

    I’m going to take my comment in an unexpected direction. Instead of discussing family or work relationships, I want to shed light on how all of these points you make here apply to a racquetball doubles team. I play doubles racquetball three times a week and when you play racquetball on a team with someone, you have very intense interactions. Racquetball is a competitive sport where the ball travels very fast so you and your partner have to interact well and quickly in order to be successful.

    I recently went to a luncheon with people from our racquetball group and we all sat around a large round table. I noticed during the lunch that everyone sat down next to their most frequent partner. I mentioned this to a friend after the lunch and she had noticed that too.

    Communication is so key with racquetball partners. You have to talk to each other during the point to know who is going to take the shot. Otherwise you could both let it go or, worse, both go for the same shot. Ouch!

    Supporting each other is important too. When your partner misses a shot, you’ll look like a hero if you’re backing him up and manage to return the shot.

    No one makes every shot but we all feel bad for our partner when we miss a shot. A word of encouragement for good or bad shots can boost confidence and build camaraderie.

    Cooperating with each other is important too. If you’re a ball hog, you will be out of position, leaving the court open for your opponents to hit a winner.

    Building respect and trust is important too. If you have an attitude that you want to win at all costs, you will put too much pressure on yourself and your partner. You also have to respect boundaries and let your partner take shots, even if their skill level isn’t as high as yours.

    You also have to have the confidence to take the shot if your partner lets you have it. You may be thinking that he could have made a better shot, but that will be self-defeating.

    You definitely have to be assertive in racquetball. If you’re just trying to get the ball back you will lose badly. You have to go for the winners. You also have to be fair in judging calls and calling hinders (when someone is in your way) so people will want to play with you.

    I like the Shift Roles Often advice. If you and your partner always play on specific sides of the court, try switching and mixing it up. You’ll improve your game.

    Finally, you should be dependable and flexible. Don’t play with the same person all of the time or you won’t improve. Always try your best, no matter who your partner is.

    Well, Harleena, that could have been an article of its own, LOL. Thanks for your inspiration. The fact that all of your advice applies so well to racquetball shows how universal your words of wisdom are!

    Have a great weekend ahead!

    1. Hi Carolyn,

      Well, I must confess that I heard the term “Racquetball” for the first time. I’m not a big sports fan, but I do know a bit about Squash, if they both mean the same thing. I did Google about Racquetball however, and it surely seems like a great sport.

      So wow, it’s great to know that you’re a Racquetball player – it’s really a fast sport, and I can never even think of playing it, lol. However, coming to your comparison and analogy, I totally agree with you. In fact, every sport that has a “doubles” format, requires the partners to have a great rapport with each other, like badminton, tennis etc. The ones who’re better sync’d and have good understanding of each other do have the advantage and have greater chances of being successful.

      You’re right – you’re naturally drawn to the person with whom you’ve a great rapport – the connections and attractions almost happen automatically and subconsciously. It’s a mix of chemical and emotional reactions and responses I’d say.

      Of course, communication bridges up the gap and facilitates the bond. You’re so right in this analogy, and this is what’s required in a couple who want to stay together – they should consider themselves as a “doubles team” and learn to communicate, support, cooperate, respect, trust, and believe in each other. Otherwise, as in Racquetball, you may end up clashing and hitting each other!

      Why don’t they teach this concept to the couples and the newly weds? That’s it, life is a game that you need to play sportingly and even if you do not have any opponent team in this doubles game, but you need to score and abide by the rules!

      I loved your your enlightening comment, and in the process I learned so much about Racquetball too! 🙂 I’m sure you’re very passionate about this sport and probably incorporate its fundamental principles in your life. One outcome of this discussion is also that we all should have some interest and passion in a sport, game, or art that requires discipline and teamwork – that would make us understand the importance of these elements in life, isn’t it?

      However, I would not apply the last suggestion – in life, it’s better if you remain teamed up with the same person all of the time. They sometime bring out the best in you. 🙂

      Yes, certainly, your comment could well be considered an articles in itself, mine too – so that make this a mega post, lol!

      Thanks you for sharing your wisdom that makes it so easy to understand relationship and to make them healthy. Have a great weekend! 🙂

      1. Lol, good point, Harleena! Perhaps the way I can relate that point to real relationships is not to get into a rut with real relationships. Don’t do the same thing every time. If you’re having date night with your partner, try some place new! 🙂

  40. Even the best relationships take work. So, thank you for reminding us that we need to put effort into building strong, healthy relationships.

    I definitely need to work on #1, Communication!! Well, I actually me we (my boyfriend and I). There are times when we interrupt each other while we’re in the middle of something. I’d like for us to either recognize that the other is in the middle of something or at least ask when is a good time to have a conversation.

    Personally, I also need to work on being more present when in conversations. Oftentimes (and not just with my boyfriend) my mind wonders about my business, what I’m doing next, etc. I really need to practice being present. I think it will greatly help me build relationships.

    Thank you for the reminder Harleena. I love how you always challenge us to improve and grow!!

    1. Hi Jennifer,

      Yes indeed, every relationship needs work and that’s what makes it stronger and better I feel 🙂

      Ah…I can understand that situation and it can certainly be worked out once you realize that you both are interrupting, so perhaps wait for work to talk over and than talk out or take turns – one talks and the other listens, and vice-versa.

      Lol…the mind wondering off is a common problem with many of us and I think we all need to read the earlier post on staying focused, even when we talk or listen to our partners, isn’t it? I guess if you stop all work and hear them out, things work well, and they too should do the same when you talk. Yes, we need to ‘be present’ when we are spoken to or listen to someone.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. Glad I manage to do that, makes me feel my purpose of blogging is accomplished. Have a nice weekend 🙂

  41. Hello Harleena Singh,

    When a man & a woman marry each other the main bondage connects by trust, love, affection & respect.

    In family there are lots of ups & downs. But if we maintain these effective tips which you mentioned, will certainly makes a family bondage stronger. We can’t get everything perfect from a husband or wife but still if we honest, then we can solve lots of problem. So lets enjoy happy & healthy life with family.

    Happy weekend 🙂

    1. Hi Ahsan,

      Yes indeed, the bond develops only when there is love, understanding, trust, and respect, which are all essential ingredients for a happy and healthy relationship.

      Ups and downs are part of life and they will always remain, but strong family bonds overcome those down times when the relationships between family members is strong, isn’t it? Being honest and open with each other always helps to build healthier relationships and lead to happier lives.

      Thanks for stopping by, and have a nice weekend as well 🙂

  42. Hi Harleena,

    So much has been said about relationships but it is never enough because people around us still are unreasonable with each other, they accuse each other, they say bitter words, they file cases against each other and only yesterday I have read a shocking news that a bride was killed by her ex boyfriend who felt cheated and powerless!!

    You have done an excellent job of listing all the possibilities of developing good relationships and avoiding bad ones…I hope people read, become wiser and learn to control their emotions. I have seen many many such relationships that get unbearably oppressive, yet are carried on. One of my colleagues, a well educated, [having a Master’s degree and earning a respectable salary] had to deal with the abuses of her in-laws, who wanted her to work yet get up early in the morning to finish all the household chores, cook for everybody, then leave for her school, which started at 7.45…and when she went home, they would be waiting for her to lay the table and serve lunch!! She was not allowed to take a leave even when she had fever! Can you imagine such relationships??

    I often used to think such people are weak-minded, they lack the power to take decisions but now I can understand there must be some compulsions to carry on!

    Thanks for sharing another very meaningful and useful article. Have a nice day!

    1. Hi Balroop,

      Absolutely! And even though I’ve limited these tips for healthy relationships to just 10, there is SO much you can write and share about it all. The newspaper are full of crime, betrayal, accusations, murder just because people are living in unhealthy relationships or it’s one of the partners who is at fault and the other is stuck with him or her, or it’s parents who don’t understand their kids and there are relationship issues within the family.

      I hope so too as that’s the main purpose of writing these posts, to create a little awareness and help those who might need help in this area.Ah…the case you mentioned is such a common one our end where women are exploited I would say and abused, just as you mentioned. And they don’t have the courage to walk off from such a relationship, even though they are financially independent, perhaps due to the children, or they think about their marriage and husbands family etc. Such relations have no meaning…they are merely existing under one roof and bearing it all up, till they reach a saturation point and then explode, or live their lives this way, which ends sooner than it would have otherwise.

      Yes, they are under compulsion, just as I mentioned above, though their bearing power is strong I would say, so they take up all such kind of abuse, yet carry on living with such people. But I wonder for how long, and I am glad that people are becoming more aware of their rights and have started taking action in most places, though majority of them are still not there yet.

      Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. Have a nice weekend 🙂

    2. Hi Balroop,

      That sounds like a horror story and I agree, there are still families in India where those things happen. It’s unfortunate.

      But then, more of less, this tradition of suppression of human soul is the result of the dying tradition of “arranged marriage”. It is such a nice arrangement in principle where two families get together. But, this arrangement has done more bad than good in our society in terms of killing individual freedom and ability to make independent decisions for people (man or woman).

      With rapidly changing dynamics in India, things are certainly changing at fast pace and I think it is a great way to end some of what you shared. As parents to our kids, we need to be more open minded and teach younger generation to be more human. And that’s the best we can do for our society.


      1. Hi Kumar,

        Thanks for paying attention to what you call a horror story…I have many more and no exaggeration, the true face of Indian Marriages remains the same, the brides still belong to antiquity, expected to be puppets unless the couples choose to stay in a nuclear family…which is widely criticised and the change which you must have seen is probably affecting only 1% of the population. The rural areas are even worse!

        The younger generation likes to bring in change, where it suits them…the male mentality…well I hope you are in touch with the latest happenings!
        We may become open minded but changing traditional thinking which is passed on to the next generation through upbringing…what about that? Yes, we can hope…for hope is all we have!!

      2. Hi Kumar,

        Though this comment was addressed to Balroop, but reading both of your comments, I have to agree with her, especially being a woman and living here. It’s certainly not easy as one reads SO SO much in the news every single day.

        We wish for change, and you are right, the only hope is how and what we teach our kids. Though there is less of such things in the urban areas as compared to the rural ones, but a lot also goes on behind the scenes, which we get to know of only after incidents occur. Talk of millionaires and celebrities going through it all.

        Thanks for your contribution 🙂

  43. Hello ma’am, yet another great post. It was a pleasure reading this tips stuffed with relevant quotes (I love Quotes).

    I know everyone who reads will surely spare a minute to reflect in his relationship condition. And even if not all we can see atleast some relationships amend themselves leading to happier lives.

    1. Hi Swadhin,

      Glad you liked the post and the quotes – I love them too, and even though they take me time searching, I wouldn’t like to have a post up without them. I think they add so much more to the post, isn’t it? 🙂

      Absolutely! Ensuring that we have healthy relationships is essential for all of us as that brings us happiness and peace of mind, whether the relationship is with your spouse, lover, parents, kids, or just about anyone. And I think all of us try to make things work by using the tips mentioned above.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views 🙂

  44. Harleena, you know “relationships” are my favorite subject! 🙂

    Your list of 10 is awesome. One other point that I think is super important is the two of you have to be both dependent and independent, and find the right balance. You can’t count on your spouse/significant other to fulfill all of your needs and you can’t expect him/her to be your only source of happiness, social life, etc. You have to have joint interests and separate interests. Terrific article.

    1. Hi Sheryl,

      It sure is and you are the right person to throw more light on the subject 🙂

      I agree with you about being dependent and independent, both. You and your partner are one, yet two different people and so are your likes, dislikes, which you both need to respect. And whether it’s the relation you share with your parents, siblings, or spouse, you need to make full efforts to ensure it’s a healthy relationship by taking the top mentioned measures.

      Each individual is different and they all have to find their own ways to achieve happiness in life. Counting on others or blaming others for not making a relationship work isn’t right because you too are responsible for your actions.

      Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post 🙂

  45. This is nice, few points that you have mentioned are really amazing, as build respect and trust, communicate and share and sift roles often. These things must be done for healthy relationship.

    1. Welcome to my blog Neha!

      Glad you liked them, and I think they are the most essential ingredients to a happy and healthy relationship that we all need to adopt.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

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