How to Boost Self Esteem in 8 Simple Ways

- | 97 Aha! comments | Posted in category: Self Improvement

Woman shows how to boost self esteem being happy

Have you ever felt the need to boost self esteem in order to feel good and complete about yourself?

There are moments in life when people feel down and rejected. At such times, they experience a lack of confidence and self-worth.

Do you also feel that you are insufficient and lack in many areas of life? If your answer is yes, you need to check out the ways to boost self esteem as mentioned later in the post.

Boosting self esteem isn’t tough, especially if you are ready to work for it.

However, before that, let me tell you a little about what is self esteem as many people tend to confuse it with self confidence.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” ~ Buddha

What is Self Esteem

Simply stated, self esteem is how you judge yourself as a person. It is your opinion about yourself, how you accept, respect, and value yourself. So, it is all about YOU.

Self esteem simply means to appreciate yourself for who you are – along with the faults and everything else.

Some people think themselves to be unattractive, ugly, unlovable, useless, losers, worthless, or they remain depressed and miserable about the way they are.

While others might have had a bad childhood, been hurt in their relationships, or lost a job, and all of this affects them negatively. Such people are said to be suffering from low self esteem.

Thinking low about yourself often leads to the development of mental health problems, and if the problem gets severe – low self esteem can even indirectly lead to death.

But you don’t have to worry if you are undergoing such conditions, as there are many ways to boost self esteem.

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. “ ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Difference Between Self Esteem and Self Confidence

Self esteem is more about your sense of personal worth, whereas self confidence is the confidence you have in yourself. It’s how you evaluate your ability to do certain things and be successful.

You could’ve all the confidence in yourself, but still feel incomplete and worthless. However, contrarily, a person with high self esteem may have more self confidence, or will find it easy to develop self confidence.

Self esteem is a general assessment of yourself, while self confidence is related to specific tasks, problems and challenges you face. Thus, self confidence is one part of self esteem.

Self esteem is a much broader concept than self confidence because it literally affects everything you undergo. If there is anything you want to change in your life – you have to start by boosting self esteem.

Not to mention that high self esteem doesn’t mean an inflated ego or pride. Instead, it’s an honest opinion of yourself.

Hope this helped explain the difference between both these terms. 🙂

“Whatever you are doing, love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling, love yourself for feeling it.” ~ Thaddeus Golas

Now, let’s see how and what you can do to boost self esteem in yourself.

Ways to Boost Self Esteem

There are many ways to build self esteem, and am sure you can add a lot to this list. So, be sure to let me know in the comment below.

1. Focus on your positive points

How many of you walk up to the mirror in the morning and start finding flaws? Don’t do that! You need to start concentrating on things you are good at, instead of what you aren’t.

Woman looking into mirror not feeling good

Boost your self esteem by telling yourself that you have pretty eyes, or that you are beautiful and have lovely features. Or that you have achieved what you wanted to within a short period.

Simply list out what you are good at, and feel happy about it because you have achieved it. When you see yourself in the positive light, it helps to boost your self esteem.

When I feel insecure at times, I look at the root cause and try to remove or sort out the main problem. I appreciate these opportunities too as they always make me look within and find solutions.

When you believe in yourself, gather the courage and remain optimistic – you can achieve a lot. Self esteem creates a feel-good factor, which makes you like yourself and this way others like you too.

2. Keep aside all negative talks

You cannot build self esteem if you keep telling yourself that you are stupid, not good enough, worthless, or if you keep putting yourself down.

If you keep having such a low self esteem about yourself, or torture yourself mentally and verbally, you certainly wouldn’t feel good about yourself. More so, sometimes you start taking these false images to be true.

You need to tell yourself that these negative feelings aren’t the real truth, and don’t internalize such thoughts too much.

Instead, when you use positive and hopeful statements, and encourage yourself by avoiding negativities, you are more likely to build up self esteem.

Also, avoid negative self-talk that will stop you from enjoying the success you have achieved. Instead, honor and celebrate your achievements and watch how it will boost self esteem in you.

Similarly, you can improve your self esteem by being in the company of friends who cheer and uplift you.

You need to nurture relationships with those who appreciate and value you, instead to be with those who criticize you.

3. Enjoy yourself and find something special in each day

Another way to boost self esteem is to enjoy what you do, whether it’s cooking, painting, blogging, or picking up any other hobby. Simply try something you’ve never done before, or just get creative.

You could do the following –

  • Listen to your favorite song, or download the music you like.
  • Take a friend along and go for hiking, fishing, boating, or just walk on the beach.
  • Venture out and go swimming in the ocean or lake for a change.
  • Develop one good habit every week.
  • Go on a shopping spree.
  • Start penning your thoughts in a grateful journal.
  • Go back and think of all the good moments you’ve had.
  • Call an old friend and talk long or meet up for lunch – just reach out and connect.
  • Join a gym or have fun at the exercise class.
  • Make new like-minded friends, and go out having fun with them.
  • Practice to be quiet and listen to your inner-self.
  • RELAX and let go! Don’t let anxiety and stress get to you. (This one’s for me too!)

For boosting self esteem, just try and do one thing daily, and do it well. When you finish that task, don’t forget to give yourself a pat on the back for doing a good job!

Honestly speaking, it’s been quite a while since I practiced this one myself. I need to find the time to enjoy myself too once in a while. Don’t you too?

4. Give back in some way

Contributing in your own way is another great way to boost self esteem. When you give something to others, you strengthen the fact that you have something to offer to the world.

You could try helping people in your way, visit nursing care facilities if they give permission, or even try volunteering at times.

Or do things like buying coffee for a co-worker, donating, holding the door for someone, offering your seat to a senior. When you do good deeds like these, you’ll feel good about yourself.

I love to reach out and help as many people as I can through this blog, and it surely gives a huge boost to my self esteem 🙂

Remember, when you shift your focus on something or someone else, your self esteem boosts up and you gain self confidence.

5. Take risks

Another way to boost self esteem is to get out of your comfort zone and take positive risks. If you do that you feel better about yourself. You might ask – why?

man climbing cliff height with bare hands

That’s because when you overcome hurdles, you are also able to overcome your personal fears and able to see your inner strengths. This builds self esteem – doesn’t it?

I’m sure like me, most of you have taken risks to do things you wouldn’t have done otherwise. Didn’t it make you feel good when you achieved your goals? Wasn’t it a morale booster? It sure was for me!

All risks have an element and chance of failure, but you will gain self confidence if you go ahead and show that you don’t fear failure.

You need to just go ahead, take the risk and just do it. Go with your instincts, as most of the time they are right. This is one way to boost self esteem and gives a sense of achievement.

6. Never compare yourself to others

You are you – and no one else. So, don’t compare yourself to others or how much they have done or achieved. Or that why you can’t be as good as them – such comparisons never end.

You will only feel unsatisfied, never find peace, and face low self esteem if you compare yourself to your friends, family, or other acquaintances. All of this will certainly not raise your self esteem, instead sadden you further.

I know this is tough to achieve, but you need to understand that you should compare yourself to no one other than yourself.

Instead, set achievable goals for yourself. When you do that, you are more likely to get what you want. Your self esteem and belief in your abilities will grow when you reach these goals.

7. Regularly exercise, eat right, and take care of yourself

This might not sound like a tip to boost one’s self esteem, but it is! Effective exercise makes you feel positive and good about yourself.

It gives you a sense of achievement, and most importantly, it stimulates the release of happy hormones.

Try this out – lift your chin, hold your chest high, push back your shoulders, and walk across the room. How did it feel?

Didn’t a simple thing like changing your posture improve your self esteem and make you feel good about yourself?

That’s because your emotions are connected to your physical body, and it affects how you feel. Always listen to your inner voice and follow your heart.

You need to also be careful of your food choices and nourish your body well. Avoid too much of fat in your diet, and eat more of well-balanced and nourished meals.

These will boost your self esteem and give you energy, which will make you feel good about yourself, and not overstuffed or sluggish.

The simplest way to boost self esteem is to take care of yourself. You can do that by listening to your body, especially when it tells you to sleep, relax, exercise, and eat.

I’m again guilty in this one as I need more sleep than I’m getting presently – a good reminder for me!

8. Look and feel your best, and keep smiling

There’s much more to than what meets the eye – isn’t it? In the same way, there’s much more to who you actually are, than what you think.

woman dancing with umbrella feeling good

With that said, one way to boost self esteem is to make efforts to look your best. When you do that, it will lift your mood and you will like yourself more.

Try out things like improving the way you present yourself, buying a nice outfit, getting a stylish haircut, or just anything that makes you look good.

Most importantly, dress yourself up with a smile and be happy for being YOU. A smile costs nothing but gives much – isn’t it.

No one is born with good self esteem – everyone has to work at it. You can develop your self esteem from the way you think and everything you do daily to make yourself feel good.

“The strongest single factor in acquiring abundance is self-esteem: believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, believing you will get it.” ~ Jerry Gillies

Did you know that February is the National Boost Your Self Esteem month? I didn’t know that, but it’s nice to know that there is a month dedicated to boost self esteem 🙂

Sometimes you should just do things that have no goals or objectives other than just to make you feel good and see how it will boost your self esteem.

Once you work on boosting your self esteem, you will feel and look happier, healthier, and much more vibrant.

Here’s a lovely video about how to boost self esteem in simple ways, which I’m sure you will enjoy.

How to Boost Your self Esteem ~ Dominic Davies ~ YouTube Video

I know I made it sound all easy, but it’s not. Changing your self-esteem takes time, patience, and even some trials and errors.

But if you make efforts to be more fair and realistic with yourself and accomplish your goals, the inner strength that comes from within will help you reach new heights.

Setbacks and mistakes are a part of life, and they always teach us something in return. So, don’t fear failures, but learn from them.

Be compassionate and gentle with yourself as you build on your self esteem, though start now! Remember, the greatest journey begins with the first step, which YOU have to take. 🙂

“You are wonderful. Valuable. Worthwhile. Lovable. Not because others think so. Self worth comes from only one place: self.” ~ Karen Salmansohn

Over to you

How do you boost self esteem and maintain it? Are there some more ways of boosting your self esteem? Share in the comment below.

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos, 123RF Stock Photos



Show Comments

97 Comments - Read and share thoughts

  1. Temilola Globalwalyy

    May 3, 2013 at 5:50 pm

    Dear Harleena,

    First of all the way you define your self esteem reminded me of the old definition when i was in primary school…

    The best way that worked for me to boast or improved my self esteem is to be alone and like you said i forgot all the negative thinking, because they can get you no where…Thank you for this wonderful post…

    Warm regards
    Temilola

    • Harleena Singh

      May 3, 2013 at 10:44 pm

      Hi Temilola,

      That’s surely nice to know that you could remember the definition of self esteem right from your childhood days 🙂

      I guess when people go within they are able to understand their own shortcomings much better, and they’re able to do that they can work on themselves, and all of this would surely boosts their self esteem.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  2. Oluwaseun Babajide

    May 3, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    Harleena,

    I can see that you are beefing up security on your blog #Good Stuffs!. One change I noticed is the arithmetic ability on this comment field. Glad I studied mathematics at the University to be able to pass this stage :-).

    This is a perfect post for the weekend. I used to have problem with self esteem and being confident. Years ago, I had so many rejection letters from employers and even from business deals, because I had low self esteem and wasn’t confident in myself. I went through all the points you have mentioned above by researching on Google and ever since I have been getting good news from employers and business deals. This was not because I was perfect but because I showed I could do the job and I was able to proof it. When you are confident, it reflects all over you. I can confirm that these points will work for anyone. I so much appreciate this post.

    Thanks for sharing.

    • Harleena Singh

      May 3, 2013 at 10:56 pm

      Hi Seun,

      Yes, you guessed it right – I’m trying to beef up the security on my blog. 🙂

      Actually the increasing attacks on the WordPress blogs are very scary, and also that good bloggers are losing their Adsense accounts. As for me, I’m getting too many spammy comments with weird links and codes that even bypass the security plugins. That made me try this nifty formula code to see if it can keep the bots at bay.

      I’m sorry if it caused any inconvenience to you or to others, but I’m sure you’d appreciate this precautionary measure because prevention is better than cure. Having said that, this particular security measure is only on a trial basis, and if it doesn’t work then you’ll probably not find it the next time you visit the blog.

      I can understand all that you wrote, and you’re not alone in having to go through all the hardships and rejections that lowers your self esteem.Nice to know that you found all the ways to boost self esteem and we all can witness the results now seeing you progress towards success 🙂

      Yes indeed, being confident boosts your spirits and you get a feel-good feeling of achievement too – isn’t it? No one is perfect, but if you have the will-power and confidence in yourself – nothing can stop you.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with all of us 🙂

  3. Corina Ramos

    May 3, 2013 at 6:35 pm

    My first marriage crushed my self esteem. Everything in my life is great but my self-esteem is a work in progress.

    It’s been 23 years and I still walk with my head down. I catch myself and make myself look up.

    The advice you shared is right on. Especially about giving back, it does make you feel good. Also about looking and feeling our best and smiling…it does wonders for my self esteem.

    I have our local christian radio station playing and with positive songs like that there’s no room for negative thoughts, that’s how I beat the self-esteem blues 🙂

    Great post Harleena. Hope you’re having a great day!

    • Harleena Singh

      May 3, 2013 at 11:25 pm

      Hi Corina,

      Sorry to hear that but relationships can hurt and be a major reason for low self esteem too. I think it’s a very natural feeling everyone in that phase would go through. But I’m glad you are back now and working on boosting your self esteem – and I think you are doing great 🙂

      Hmmm…chin up – head up – always. This in itself is a morale booster, and if you can keep reminding yourself to do this from time to time, you’d forget looking down. 🙂

      Ah…smiling really helps, and even laughing out loud. I think you just shed all your worries and tensions and feel good, which boosts your self esteem. It works for me too. I guess for us bloggers, if we are able to give back to others in some way or the other and help them out, it gives us a sense of achievement, and that is an instant morale booster.

      That’s lovely! I love music too, though my radio is switched on when I am not writing, or then I get distracted – but that just adds so much more to my day and peps me up. Great way to boost self esteem!

      Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. Have a lovely weekend too 🙂

  4. Vincent Nguyen

    May 3, 2013 at 6:54 pm

    One way is to make gradual improvements to your flaws that you’re aware of. Maybe you don’t have the best tastes in fashion. Get a trusted, well-dressed friend to go over the basics with you and begin to very slowly work on your wardrobe. When you look good, you’ll feel good.

    Then start working on posture. That is a HUGE one and others notice a person with tall poise.

    Talk too fast? Slow down!

    All these things may seem somewhat vain or even shallow, but hey!

    • Harleena Singh

      May 3, 2013 at 11:34 pm

      Hi Vincent,

      You’ve made some nice additions to the ways of boosting self esteem. Definitely, if you’re aware of your flaws, then you should work to improve on them to feel better.

      That’s some good idea to feel good about yourself by improving upon your personality. It takes a little bit of effort to learn something new, but a good fashion sense could work for you anywhere and anytime. I can’t agree with you more that “when you look good, you’ll feel good.” Our posture, the way we walk and talk are what really create impressions on other’s minds, and the positive reactions and feedback do boost our self-esteem, and we feel good and happy about ourselves.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. I appreciate your time and efforts. 🙂

  5. Sapna

    May 3, 2013 at 6:59 pm

    HI Harleena Di,

    Great share!

    You know for the last more than 2 weeks it has been down and out situation really feeling bad about the things, may this can help in lifting the spirit.

    Thanks for this share. Have a great day ahead.

    Sapna

    • Harleena Singh

      May 3, 2013 at 11:58 pm

      Hi Sapna,

      Glad you liked these ways to boost self esteem 🙂

      I can understand all that you are going through and it’s not easy too. I know the person undergoing is the one who suffers the most. But there are other options too, which I emailed you about. Perhaps when you see other options and not let this get you down, you will feel better. I hope this post helps boost your morale – cheer up! People go through a lot more, yet the rise and come back again full of enthusiasm, so don’t worry – this phase too shall pass 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us. Have a nice weekend too 🙂

  6. Ahsan

    May 3, 2013 at 7:23 pm

    Hello Harleena,

    Self esteem is very important to realize oneself with a new way. Its a great way when you feel worried or depressed then self esteem works better. We think all positive of our life & try to erase all sad or negative moments.

    It helps us to reshape our life. Thanks for another life leading post 🙂

    • Harleena Singh

      May 4, 2013 at 12:16 am

      Hi Ahsan,

      Absolutely! Self esteem is what makes you meet the real you 🙂

      When you are stressed or worried and make efforts to get out of such a situation, it’s the boost in self esteem that pulls us out at such times. I agree, when we think of all the good or positive things in our life – it boosts our morale and makes us feel good.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post 🙂

  7. Bren

    May 4, 2013 at 4:33 am

    Hi Harleena and thank you for touching on this subject.

    There are many women, as well as men, that do have a low self-esteem and don’t know how to build it up. I used to be like Corina. My first real long-term relationship was in my early 20’s. The guy CRUSHED my self-esteem. When the relationship ended, not only did I have NO self-esteem but I was also a co-dependent. Some therapy as well as some of the tips you mentioned above, pulled me out of my funk. Trust me, I made up for all the lack of self-esteem and in my mid 20’s, strutted my stuff like there was no tomorrow. 🙂 Thankfully, by my 30’s, I found a happy medium.

    There were several things that I did. Telling myself every day that I was beautiful and I was worthy of happiness. Also working through a co-dependent 10-step program helped with that and gave me focus…. on ME. I told myself anyone who didn’t like me, it was their loss. When people would try to degrade or pull my positive energy, I shut them out. I disassociated with those type of people and grew into a beautiful person, both inside and out.

    Mind you, it may not be everyone’s idea of beauty, but it’s all mine. 🙂 Fabulous post gf!

    • Harleena Singh

      May 4, 2013 at 6:23 pm

      Hi Bren,

      Glad you could resonate with this post 🙂

      Absolutely! There are many of us who have undergone a great deal in our lives, and for most part of it – due to the relationships we have been in, or perhaps the way we were raised, besides other reasons.

      Sorry to hear about your past too, but just as I was telling Corina – I think such times make you tougher, though it only happens with time. At that present moment it’s almost like the whole world is breaking in on you, which is so normal. Not to mention all the negative thoughts that surround you too. I’m so glad you fought your way out by boosting your self esteem.

      I agree with all that you mentioned, and I think the morale building always has to start from within you. People may tell you to do this or that, but unless you make up your mind and really work for it by believing in yourself – things don’t work. Nice to know about the program and therapy too, and am so glad they worked so well for you 🙂

      Oh yes…who don’t like us, it’s their loss and we shouldn’t get bothered by that, instead lead our lives the way we want. That’s the only way to remain happy and content. You ARE a beautiful person in and out dear friend – there’s no doubt about that. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with all of us. 🙂

  8. Babanature

    May 4, 2013 at 6:41 am

    Hello Harleena,

    You know what? I read this post 3ice and i’m still reading it because i am not tired for it.

    Self esteem? I sincerely hate people who look down on their selves. Yes really because that shows how coward that people is or may be… I have never for once look down on my self, i never for one day allow frustration or disappointing to cloud me. I have a high self esteem that’s why I’ll always say I am different. Thanks

    • Harleena Singh

      May 4, 2013 at 6:34 pm

      Hi Babanature,

      Thrice – wow! I’m glad you enjoyed and could resonate with it 🙂

      You are right there, but there are so many people who have low self esteem. I would say that they sometimes undergo a lot in their lives, just as Corina and Bren have as they mentioned in their comments, and I wouldn’t blame them for feeling low when they had relationship problems. But yes, if a person remains in that state forever, that’s not good. You need to boost self esteem to make yourself feel good and better about yourself – isnt’t it?

      Nice to hear that you really don’t let low self esteem come near you and have full confidence in your abilities, which is the way it should be. I agree – if we allow our sad moments or frustrations to get the better of us, we can never really achieve our goal nor success. We need to fight it out each time they cloud over us or keep them aside and move on- that’s what life is all about 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and spending time to go through the post so many times. I appreciate that and hope you enjoyed the video too. 🙂

  9. Galen Pearl

    May 4, 2013 at 6:50 am

    Oops, I thought I left a comment but I guess I didn’t do the math box. Anyway, the shorter version of my comment was a quote from Joel Osteen. “God was not having a bad day when he made you. You are God’s masterpiece.”

    • Harleena Singh

      May 4, 2013 at 6:44 pm

      Hi Galen,

      Sorry for that maths box! I’m just trying out this new way to avoid spam comments and one’s got to be careful because of the many recent hack attempts. But if things don’t work out this way, I would remove it 🙂

      Ah…your quote summed it all up, and that sure was a lovely one. YOU do matter and you are a masterpiece in yourself – never stop believing in yourself – I so agree with that.

      Thanks for stopping by and have a blessed day 🙂

  10. Sylviane Nuccio

    May 4, 2013 at 7:25 am

    Great advice Harleena,

    I like that you explained the difference between self esteem and self confidence and you’ve done it very clearly.

    When I think of self esteem I can’t help thinking that in some countries women especially have very low self esteem, because of the culture they were born and grew up in. We see this in South America, for example.

    In this part of the world, such as the US it’s more on a personal level and the manner one was raised certainly makes a difference as it was said in the video.

    Looking at ourself in the mirror and talking to ourselves with positive statements is something that helps building self esteem. We’d better do that than finding flaws.

    Taking risks is a great one. Having a healthy diet and life style can definitely improve our self esteem as well.

    Great share, Harleen 🙂

    • Harleena Singh

      May 4, 2013 at 7:24 pm

      Hi Sylviane,

      Glad you liked the post 🙂

      I thought of differentiating self esteem from self confidence because there is a lot of confusion among people who often take them to be the same.

      You’re absolutely right about that, and we have women in our country too who have a very low self esteem because of their childhood or the way they are treated in their marriage, most of which is because of the culture and certain traditions people follow.

      The way we are brought up or the way our parents raised us has a lot of effect on our self esteem, and that’s what I liked about in the video too – how the girl transforms from a one with low self esteem to a one with high self esteem.

      Mirror-talk does help, and even for us who don’t have a low self esteem – but if we just tell ourselves a few encouraging words, it does make us feel good – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post 🙂

  11. Indrani

    May 4, 2013 at 10:46 am

    Great read. I liked the way you compiled facts and presented them.

    • Harleena Singh

      May 4, 2013 at 7:31 pm

      Welcome to the blog Indrani!

      Glad you liked the post and the way it was presented. Hope you could take back home something from these ways to boost self esteem 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  12. Shalu Sharma

    May 4, 2013 at 12:56 pm

    Nicely explained and well focused post.

    I often have problems with self esteem and lack confidence many a times. I didn’t realise that self esteem and self confidence were different things. I like the idea of looking good to boost your esteem. I think I might try that when I am feeling low.

    • Harleena Singh

      May 4, 2013 at 7:38 pm

      Hi Shalu,

      Nice to know that you liked the post 🙂

      You’re surely not alone, as most of us lack self confidence in something or the other. Very few are completely perfect with a high self esteem. I guess it’s our fears that makes us feel so, but if we fight those fears and just go ahead and do it – we do see results too – isn’t it?

      Oh yes…I also didn’t know there was a difference between the two when I was young, it was much later I got to know of it. Yes indeed, dressing up well instantly boosts your mood and morale, try it out and let me know how you felt. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂

  13. Brown Williams

    May 4, 2013 at 1:19 pm

    This is an awesome scripted post with nuggets of wisdom for the brain. Boosting self esteem is something we should check on regularly to remain in line with life. This post has helped me with the best tips to deal with self esteem.
    Regards

    • Harleena Singh

      May 4, 2013 at 7:43 pm

      Welcome to the blog Brown!

      Nice to know that you enjoyed these nuggets of wisdom 🙂

      Well, you really don’t have to check on boosting your self esteem as you will feel the change from within once you feel you are good and capable. Glad these ways to boost self esteem helped you.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  14. Rahul

    May 4, 2013 at 4:20 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    I have been suffering from low esteem since my childhood but now I have decided to come out of shell and show the people what I am capable of doing. I have started hitting gym lately and can feel the difference already even though I haven’t gained any weight.

    • Harleena Singh

      May 4, 2013 at 7:58 pm

      Welcome to the blog Rahul!

      Sorry to hear about that, but you aren’t the only one to who went through low self esteem during your childhood days. Just as I was mentioning in the comments above, this is a common problem and most of it has to do with the way parents raise their kids too.

      Glad to know that now you’ve geared up and taken charge of yourself. Am sure your way to boost self esteem by going to the gym or exercising is helping you a great deal. It’s good if you haven’t gained weight – all that matters is you remain fit and feel good about yourself.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  15. Enstine Muki

    May 4, 2013 at 4:51 pm

    Very correct and full of knowledge as usual Harleena.

    I remember in those days I used to have my guitar, I used to pick it up and sing a nice worship song whenever I felt like I was going down. Like you mentioned, listening to ones favorite song really works.

    Thanks for this much value I have read this weekend.

    BTW, you’ve put up a double-edged sword against spammers 😉

    Remain blessed

    • Harleena Singh

      May 4, 2013 at 8:06 pm

      Hi Enstine,

      Nice to know that you liked the post 🙂

      Ah…so playing the guitar and singing are more hidden talents we all learnt of today! But I agree, it does boost up your morale and is a great outlet as well. I enjoy listening to music too, but only when I’m not writing.

      Actually, I wanted to remove the anti-spam option of CommentLuv and have only this new option of solving math problem to counter the bots. Anyways, I might remove this new edge of my anti-spam sword if it doesn’t produce the desired result and it’s in the trial stage at present.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂

  16. Jon Mertz

    May 4, 2013 at 7:02 pm

    Harleena,

    All of these points are essential to do. It is related to “giving back” but it is getting involved in an outside activity. Giving back can be in the form of starting a Meetup group or joining a Meetup group. It can be in organizing a monthly lunch of people at work to exchange ideas and explore new topics.

    Self-esteem is a vital part of who we are, and we need to go within to let it out in all that we do. Thanks! Jon

    • Harleena Singh

      May 4, 2013 at 11:23 pm

      Hi Jon,

      You’ve put it aptly – self-esteem is a vital part of who we are. The more we go inside, the more we understand ourselves, and we exhibit our true nature in everything we do. Splendid and beautiful!

      Meetup groups is a good idea that serves as a multi-purpose activity. It’s giving as well as receiving, and socializing. In anyway you take it, it helps boost your self-esteem.

      Thank you for your thoughtful contribution to the post 🙂

  17. Prince Ramgarhia

    May 5, 2013 at 3:21 pm

    You’re just amazing Harleena, always get the inspirational post here- thanx for the post always bookmarked..

    • Harleena Singh

      May 5, 2013 at 3:29 pm

      Hi Prince,

      Glad you liked the post on how to boost self esteem, and I hope it helps you in your life too. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and for bookmarking it too 🙂

  18. Lawrence Bergfeld

    May 5, 2013 at 8:59 pm

    You definitely have to believe that you deserve something regardless of what others say. We will never be exempt from rejection. The faster we get to the point where we use what we learn and get results, the faster we achieve our goals!

    Lawrence Bergfeld

    • Leon

      May 6, 2013 at 8:37 am

      Truer words cannot be expressed. I agree with your point and the article 100%.

      • Harleena Singh

        May 6, 2013 at 9:23 am

        Hi Leon,

        Glad you liked the post and agree with these points on boosting self esteem.

        Thanks for stopping by 🙂

    • Harleena Singh

      May 6, 2013 at 9:21 am

      Hi Lawrence – good to see you after long 🙂

      Absolutely! Self belief is vital and that’s one thing to boost self esteem too. I agree with you there, though even if we aren’t fast to achieve our goals, just believing in ourselves helps us reach there sooner or later.

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  19. Mayura

    May 6, 2013 at 2:49 am

    Hi Harleena,

    I used to think I’m a person who lacks self-esteem and I don’t blame on it 🙂 Instead I’m glad I did know about me and it’s the starting point to improve myself. no? 🙂

    However I feel I’ve gain the confidence some extent but still I’m not sure is it directly linked with being confident in front of a crowd or not. Is it Harleena? 🙂

    Gosh… I used to watch myself in the mirror and feel worried 😉 Now let me tell the truth. It’s pimples I had all over my face 😀 lol… Anyway I was so worried for few years due to that fact Harleena. I can laugh at me now, but I know how it feels 🙂 That’s why once I said that parents can be the role model when they help out their kids at the worst time or save from confusions 🙂

    Negativity was around me for some extent, but I wasn’t glued to it much. I tend to ignore and be alone 🙂 That’s how books and then PC became the best friends of mine. I felt all inanimates are my friends too 🙂 I used to wear headphones and listen to music always to keep me away from negative words.

    Really?! I used to help people around as I could. I always enjoyed doing it and things like teaching something to friends, donating. Felt better than ever 🙂

    Anyway I wasn’t taking risks Harleena. Actually I did what my father said and that’s it. No more than that. But as I grow up, I did few. Blogging is one thing as my parents don’t know I’m doing it right now 😀 lol… It’s better to keep it that way.

    Now I feel I’ve followed some simple tips unwittingly to boost my self-esteem Harleena 🙂 It’s truly surprising to know.

    Am I babbling too much? 😀 lol… Yeah, I do. Sorry if I open up too much with my personal experiences dear 🙂 I can relate so well here and I just amazed how it links with my experiences.

    I feel so bad when I hear some children waste their lives due to lack of confidence. Some goes for drugs and pretty bad stuff to feel better. How many of ’em get to know that’s not their fault to lack confidence? How many do come across posts like this or find advice to stay positive?

    Indeed I’m lucky, but still not lucky that much as I can’t help at least one or two such kids at all to make their lives better 🙁 Blessings to all such children to stay positive.

    You have a lovely week Harleena 🙂 I really appreciate you for what you do.

    Cheers…

    • Harleena Singh

      May 6, 2013 at 10:21 am

      Hi Mayura,

      You’re not alone to feel that way, Mayura. Most of us have our dull or low moments, but just as you mentioned, that is how you start working on yourself and get better.

      Hmm…yes, that’s true too. Most of us are confident online or where our work is concerned, but when we face the real world or real people – are we as confident enough. I guess such feelings come through because we don’t meet very many people offline, besides friends. If we did, and we interacted and spoke to others around us, we would be more confident of ourselves.

      Lols…I can understand those pimple stage, but it’s again common and natural in teens or a few years after that too. My elder one also has them, but they don’t last long and occur mainly due to the hormonal changes at that age. Yes, sometimes they are even related to stress and eating oily food 😉

      I can understand all that you must have undergone years ago, though am glad you found your own way around to fight negativity. Yes, I remember you mentioning the imaginary friends. Music too helps boost self esteem, and it works well for me too – just in-case I need to let go of my bad mood too.

      I know you have such a helping nature and that’s one thing to keep your morale up too. I agree, when we are young or even in our teens, we should listen to our parents, though in certain countries teens are independent much earlier and prefer not to listen all that much. But as we grow, we tend to think we know the right path and take our own decisions. Sometimes even when our parents tell us something from their experience, we really don’t listen – isn’t it? Perhaps it’s time to move on with our lives, though it’s always wiser to listen to them, weigh out the situation, and then take your final decision.

      If we don’t take risks, we don’t really grow or get better I would say. Perhaps you’re seeing the change when you take risks now as compared to when you didn’t earlier. Ah…your parents don’t know you are blogging! But you are all the time online working, so don’t they ask? Hmm…I feel they should know the wonderful blog you’ve created and how it’s helping everyone. 🙂

      Ah…I love your babbling, and you know this blog is one platform that is free for anyone to come and share their thoughts and feelings, because I feel that your experiences would help others, and vice-versa too. And if I can ever be of help anytime – you know what you have to do!

      Yes, some kids go the wrong way when they lack self esteem or the confidence in themselves. I don’t blame them as much, because it’s the parents responsibility to ensure their kids are never depressed or feel low – no matter how busy they might be. It’s at such time that they need your help and support – so be there and take care of them, uplift their moods, and boost their morale. I wish I could reach out and tell those parents to take hold of their child’s life before it gets too late. Perhaps this post might help, if it reaches them though!

      You are helping people in your own way, and am sure if you come across such kids, you would help them too, because you have such a loving and helping nature that touches everyone’s heart. I appreciate you too dear friend for being you 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and always adding more value to my posts. It’s always a pleasure to have you over. Hope you had a relaxing weekend too 🙂

  20. Leslie

    May 6, 2013 at 3:17 am

    Very thought-provoking. There was one line where you were explaining the different between self-esteem and self-confidence that really nailed a phase I went through (a very bad phase). I would not have thought you could have self-confidence without self-esteem if I hadn’t experienced it myself. Thanks for the great post.

    • Harleena Singh

      May 6, 2013 at 10:29 am

      Welcome to the blog Leslie!

      Glad you liked the post 🙂

      Sorry to hear about the rough patch you went through, though am sure you must be over it now. Just like you, most people take self esteem and self confidence to be similar, whereas they aren’t. Once you work on your self esteem, everything else falls in line – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  21. Ashish Mittal

    May 6, 2013 at 3:32 am

    Hello ma’am,
    A nice topic to deal with. It is very important that a person should love himself. The best friend of anyone is the person himself. And if we want to compete, we should compete with our last performance which really motivates us, help us to develop our self esteem and think our self more valuable.

    • Harleena Singh

      May 6, 2013 at 10:38 am

      Welcome to the blog Ashish!

      Nice to know that you liked the topic 🙂

      Yes indeed, self-love is important to boost self esteem and that happens only when you feel you are worthy enough. You are your best friend and no one else can replace you, this is a fact, though some people look to others for support.

      That’s a good point too, to compete with your last performance or make your self better by competing with your own self and no one else. This does challenge you to get better.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂

  22. Mohammad Fazle Rabbi

    May 6, 2013 at 10:46 am

    Thanks, I really like this article. All the information is logically. I think smiling boosts the self esteem. Thanks

    • Harleena Singh

      May 6, 2013 at 10:58 am

      Welcome to the blog Mohammad!

      Glad you liked the post and found the information logical too. Oh yes…smiling is an instant booster and that’s why it’s said to always keep smiling 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  23. Evan

    May 6, 2013 at 4:58 pm

    Thinking out of the box and positively is the best way that may lead you to success, success in everything, either it is weight loss or looking for the right job! Very inspiring article, by the way, I read the interview, Harleena, it was a big pleasure. So many things to learn from you!

    • Harleena Singh

      May 7, 2013 at 10:51 pm

      Hi Evan,

      Definitely, if you’re innovative and positive, you’d always try to find new ways to solve problems, and convert obstacles into stepping stones. And, doing that will boost your self-esteem.

      I’m glad you liked the interview over at Bashir’s place. Thank you for your contribution to this post. 🙂

  24. Evelyn Lim

    May 6, 2013 at 6:15 pm

    Self-love and self-esteem are two of my favorite topics. So I am delighted to read your article here. Tip #7 is certainly a great one!! Posture, eating well and regular exercise can sure help to build self-esteem and confidence!

    • Harleena Singh

      May 7, 2013 at 10:53 pm

      Hi Evelyn,

      I’m glad you love the topic and like the post too. I’m with you for #7 because this is what we can certainly and easily do and enjoy the results that are in proportion to the efforts we make.

      Exercise and good food help you get rid of toxins, stress, and negativity. You’re filled with positive energy and feel good about yourself, some of which is also due to the happy hormones released during the process.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting. 🙂

  25. Sherman Smith

    May 6, 2013 at 8:17 pm

    Great post Harleena… I like each point since I do them. The one that I struggled with was number 6. For some reason I sometimes compared myself to others which can be beneficial and not beneficial at all..

    I can sometimes tell me saw “I can never do that” or “people just naturally like that person better than me”, but then I catch myself. Why do I do that. Low Self Esteem. So I change my thinking… Instead of comparing I see how that person can be inspirational to me to be a better me and not a better them. Don’t want to be a carbon copy of someone else.

    That’s just straight personal plagiarism. Anyone can spot a fake from a distance. We were all made unique for a reason. So why not give other people your own flavor of yourself so they won’t get bored with the same flavor. If you want to compare yourself compare yourself to your yesteryou! Thanks for sharing!

    • Harleena Singh

      May 7, 2013 at 11:02 pm

      Hi Sherman,

      It’s so good to know that you’re familiar with and actually carry out all the ways to boost your self esteem.

      You’re right in that comparing yourself can also turn beneficial but only if you’ve a positive attitude and mindset.

      It’s great the way you challenge and change your negative thoughts and turn them in your favor by making them a source of inspiration to become a better you. You certainly use comparison in a positive and constructive manner.

      I totally agree with you that we’re unique and have certain specialties and qualities that no one else possesses. We need to recognize and accept them, and be motivated to be our own true-selves.

      You’re right when you say that comparing yourself with your own past is the best measure of your progress and development.

      Thanks for sharing great pointers and enriching the post with your knowledge and experience. 🙂

  26. Hiten

    May 6, 2013 at 10:23 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    This was a wonderful post on the topic of self-esteem. Thank you for writing it. You included a brilliant set of quotes to go with your post as well.

    I know from direct experience what it feels like to have very low self-esteem. The approaches which have worked best for me include those like you included in your post, such as bringing my strengths to the fore, changing the way I talk to myself and facing my fears.

    Another approach that has worked particularly well for me is creative visualisation and vividly imagining myself as being the person I really want to be in the world.

    Thank you.

    • Harleena Singh

      May 8, 2013 at 12:02 am

      Hi Hiten,

      I’m glad you like the post and the quotes.

      Thanks for testifying the points mentioned in this post with your experiences – it is so important to recognize and acknowledge our strengths and use them to face and fight our fears.

      Creative visualization is a great idea and technique that can do wonders, and certainly help in boosting your self-esteem.

      Thanks for sharing your experiments with your ways to boost self esteem and they do add value to the post and help all other readers. 🙂

  27. Christine Blythe

    May 6, 2013 at 10:35 pm

    These recommendations ring so true. I’m in the process of medical retirement from my public service career in Canada due to anxiety, PTSD and chronic depression.

    What struck me about your recommendations about self-esteen is they are the same recommendations I’m hearing from the professionals I deal with – so maybe self-esteen is a key component in dealing with mental health issues?

    • Harleena Singh

      May 8, 2013 at 12:16 am

      Hi Christine,

      Welcome to my blog! The ways to boost self esteem are universally the same and they certainly help to alleviate depression.

      You need to start feeling good about yourself and construct a good and positive image of yourself in order to deal with the blues. If you make efforts in the right direction and bring about a change in your lifestyle and attitude, you can get over stress that disturbs you and disrupts your life.

      I hope this and other related posts on this blog help you deal with your problems and help you lead a better life. Everything’s possible if you believe!

      Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts and experiences. 🙂

  28. Donna Merrill

    May 6, 2013 at 11:06 pm

    Harleena,

    What a healing post! I wish I had this information years ago when I “suffered” from low self esteem.

    The advice you have given here is awesome. Even if there is only one take away someone gets, it is a step in the right direction to boost their self esteem.

    1. Focus on positive points! If self esteem is so low, I am sure one can dig up One positive point about themselves and focus on that. That will cause that ripple effect.

    2. Oh those negative talks. I am so glad you mentioned that. That puts fuel on the fire to bring down self esteem. When your self esteem is low, there is always that noise in your head and you have given great examples how to do that.

    3. Is my favorite because it reinforces one to get into good habits to boost self esteem.

    Of course all the others are great! But I don’t want to write a novella here.

    Harleena, this is a super post
    Donna

    • Harleena Singh

      May 8, 2013 at 12:33 am

      Hi Donna,

      Thank you for appreciating this post and it means a lot coming from you. 🙂

      I like your idea of a ripple effect created with positive thoughts. It is certainly a very helpful habit of focusing and looking for positives even in the negatives – it totally changes your game plan and you never feel low!

      The mantra for dealing with low self esteem is being positive and putting away the negatives, including the negative talks.

      Thanks so much for making the post worth so much more with your personal experience and wisdom. I’m glad you stopped by and commented. 🙂

  29. valentine belonwu

    May 6, 2013 at 11:25 pm

    Hello Harleena,

    This is a very interesting and inspirational post indeed. Self esteem is something that everyone has to learn a way to develop.

    There are many people out there that lack this and they keep on hurting themselves all the time because of what they take themselves to be.

    The truth is that if you don’t have self esteem and don’t start building it now, you’ll never be successful in life.

    Thanks for sharing such an informative article Harleena.

    • Harleena Singh

      May 8, 2013 at 12:43 am

      Hi Valentine,

      I’m glad you like the post and that you find it useful and informative.

      You’re right in that all successful people have high self-esteem – they know they’re worth and confident that by making efforts and remaining positive, they can achieve what they want.

      Building self esteem is one of the most basic and important tasks before doing anything else.

      Thank you for your insights and suggestions. I appreciate it. 🙂

  30. Theodore Nwangene

    May 6, 2013 at 11:32 pm

    Bam Harleena,

    This is just a one of a kind post and its really motivational. This is one disease that has killed and is still killing many people today.

    When you see your self as a failure or as an ugly person, what then do you expect people to see you as? If people must value and love you, you will have to value and love yourself first..Isn’t it?:)

    But, because of one reason or the other, people always see themselves a second class citizen thereby killing themselves emotionally and otherwise.

    I believe that you’ll always be what you think you are, in other words, if you see yourself as a failure then, you will end up being a failure. There are no two ways about it.

    There is power in our thoughts and we can either use it to help or ruin our life.

    Thanks for sharing such a valuable post mate and have a pleasant week.

    • Harleena Singh

      May 23, 2013 at 5:38 pm

      Hi Theodore,

      I’m glad you find the post motivational. 🙂

      Having low self-worth or self-esteem is surely not a sign of good mental health.

      You hit the nail right on the head – it is essential to believe in yourself and love yourself before you can expect others to treat you well and good. It’s all a mind game – you need to have a good image of your self in your mind.

      You’re right again – you’ll always be what you think you are. Thanks for delving into this important subject of the power of thoughts and how it can help us live our lives for better.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post. 🙂

  31. Anne

    May 7, 2013 at 1:56 am

    What a great and encouraging blog post, Harleena. I think you’ve covered all of the main points in boosting self-esteem. You’ve explained them well and have covered them in much detail. Thanks for a helpful and inspiring post.

    • Harleena Singh

      May 23, 2013 at 5:40 pm

      Hi Anne,

      Glad you found the post encouraging, informative, helpful, and inspiring as well! Thanks for the compliments.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting on the post. 🙂

  32. Mary Stephenson

    May 7, 2013 at 7:36 am

    Hi Harleena

    So we can lack a ton of self-confidence but still have plenty of self-esteem. That makes a different perspective to who we are. The truth is probably just about everyone lacks a bit of self-esteem at times, even those that we think have it altogether in life.

    We always seem to be our own worst critic, even when others marvel at our cleverness, we keep beating ourselves up. Shall have to start giving myself pep talks. If we can’t be our own best cheerleader how can we possibly expect anyone else to.

    We are taught to be humble and others should go first and then we wonder why there is no self esteem left for us. Makes perfectly good sense why we lack what we all should have. If we can’t treat ourselves with respect and good grace, it is not hard to understand why others don’t. We are probably all just fighting to retain our self-esteem just like everyone else. The trick is others are great at hiding their insecurities.

    Mary

    • Harleena Singh

      May 23, 2013 at 5:44 pm

      Hi Mary,

      In this post, I’ve differentiated self-confidence from self-esteem. The former is generally used with respect to specific tasks and with reference to our ability to do them. Whereas, self-esteem is more about the feeling of worth and the respect for oneself – not specific to any task. So, you might’ve a good opinion and image of yourself, yet not the confidence for a specific task – though if you’re all upbeat, positive, and filled with hopes, you can more easily develop self-confidence than if you’re down and depressed with a feeling of low self-worth.

      However, you’re right that there are times when your self-esteem takes a dip – and it happens with anybody and everybody. If we’ve set high standards for ourselves, then we’d probably not be happy with the opinion of others, instead try to push ourselves hard and more to achieve our aim. People with high self-esteem are good at this task of self-motivation because they’ve the internal belief that they’re worth and they can.

      You’re absolutely right that unless we love and respect ourselves, we should not expect others to do the same.

      Thank you for participating in the discussion with your in-depth thoughts and views. I appreciate it very much. 🙂

  33. Vishnu

    May 7, 2013 at 11:35 am

    Great tips on boosting self-esteem Harleena.

    I would think I would have had a lot lower self-esteem thanks to my lovely parents who showed their support by negative and emotionally scarring ways. But I don’t have as low of self-esteem as I should have had. haha I think I was able to achieve things outside of our home and usually got positive feedback so it helped raise my self-esteem. Of course now I realize that external events shouldn’t dictate your self-esteem but as a child, one is heavily influenced by what others say to you and think of you.

    Fighting negative thoughts and not comparing ourselves to others are key practices for boosting self-esteem. Thanks for sharing all your practices for having more self-esteem in our lives. Self-esteem is an internal compass/measurement but affects EVERY single aspect of our life in this world.

    • Harleena Singh

      May 23, 2013 at 5:48 pm

      Hi Vishnu,

      Glad you like the tips on boosting self-esteem.:)

      I’m sorry for what you did undergo in your childhood, but I think such a phase helped you learn how to fight negative thoughts and maintain high self-esteem even in times of adversity. Good for you that you could substitute external sources to not let your self-esteem drop.

      You’re right in that self-esteem affects every single aspect of our life. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and personal life experiences to highlight the importance of self-esteem in life.:)

  34. Annie André

    May 7, 2013 at 4:42 pm

    This really struck a chord with me.

    I used to have really low self esteem which people translated as being shy.
    I could not even make eye contact with people without fear of what they would thin,. . So much so that it was debilitating.

    When I had kids things improved slightly, perhaps because of motherly instinct..??

    Slowly over time having small wins, keeping healthy and being aware all the time, i have beaten down low self esteem but it always lurks. I can see it in my youngest daughter now even though we are constantly praising her and pushing her to excel in multiple areas of her life, dance, sports, school.

    I think part of it has to do with genetics too. Some people are just born rambunctious while others have to struggle a bit harder to come out of their shell and fight low self esteem.

    Overall, every single tip you gave here, I have used at one point or another and think ultimately you have to want to increase your self esteem but you also have to actually take steps to do it too.

    Thanks again for another thought provoking post Harleena. 🙂

    • Harleena Singh

      May 23, 2013 at 5:52 pm

      Hi Annie,

      I’m glad you could relate to this post. 🙂

      Being shy is definitely one of the apparent signs of lack of self-esteem, however, it might not always be the case. This is quite a common phase in the teenage and the early adolescent years.

      You always need to work on boosting your self-esteem, and you did mention some really practical ways to do that. I’m sure your younger daughter will take up the cues from you early on and feel good about herself.

      Of course, it has to do with genetics, but there are many other factors too. Self-esteem of children is also quite related to how the parents carry themselves and how their interrelationship is.

      Thank you so much for contributing your personal thoughts and life experiences to add to the value of this post, and validating the tips mentioned here. I appreciate it very much. 🙂

  35. Adrienne

    May 7, 2013 at 9:05 pm

    You are such a wonderful teacher Harleena!

    I’ve met a few people in my life that had low self-esteem and this post would have been fabulous for them. You are just a walking education girl and I love what you shared here.

    I’m thrilled that I’ve never really dealt with low-self esteem. Not that I was always confident but I think with age it just progressed into that.

    I love the points you shared and I was nodding my head while reading through them all. Once again I know you’ll help a lot of people who may have these types of issues.

    Thank you for always inspiring us and teaching us how to be better. I think we all are still a work in progress.

    ~Adrienne

    • Harleena Singh

      May 23, 2013 at 5:56 pm

      Hi Adrienne,

      Thank you for the compliment and the words of appreciation.:)

      I believe every individual is a treasure of knowledge and experience and this blog is all about sharing it collectively with each other. Did I not tell you that I really was a teacher in school? Well, may be some other time. 😉

      You’re right that with age and time we do learn to cultivate and develop self-esteem in life – experiences are our biggest teacher, right?

      Definitely, we all are work in progress. I’d really be happy if this post helps anybody to boost self-esteem.

      Thank you for taking out time to visit the post and comment on it. I appreciate it. 🙂

  36. Rupali Gupta

    May 7, 2013 at 9:27 pm

    Hi Harleena ji,

    Very well written post,i really like it. A positive attitude always leads to a positive way. Instead think about the negative points look for the positive aspects about you. Spend your precious time with the people you care about and who also care about you. I like the points never compares to urself with others, assume u r the best.

    Thanks for sharing this amazing post.

    • Harleena Singh

      May 23, 2013 at 6:01 pm

      Hi Rupali,

      I’m glad you like the post. It’s always a good habit to look for positives, even in the negatives. You mention an important point about how to spend your precious time.

      Thank you for stopping by and contributing to the post. 🙂

  37. Kumar Suhas

    May 8, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    Hi Harleena , excellent post again.

    Self esteem is important and people without it lose the respect they deserve from other because they do not respect themselves.

    The way you have explained things here are really great and the tips are also useful.Not only I like the post but I will always try to see what kind of self esteem I have. Generally we do not see to all these aspects of lives. Our life is in most of the cases the way we live and I really believe your post can help people toward a better life.

    • Harleena Singh

      May 23, 2013 at 6:06 pm

      Hi Kumar,

      You’re right in that you get respect from others when you respect your own-self.

      I’m glad you like the tips for boosting self esteem as mentioned in this post.

      I’d really be happy if this post is helpful to the readers, and yes,our lifestyle is definitely an important element, whose change can bring a change in our self-esteem.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts and view. I appreciate it. 🙂

  38. Koj Tajo

    May 9, 2013 at 4:42 pm

    Awesome post yet again Harleena.

    Many a times, this ‘Self-Esteem’ has fluctuated my personality. Its up and down has never been good to me like any other.
    I am wondering why I did not have something like Aha-now those days when I really was caught with such a low esteemed self. Being like that does leads to all the negative things in our mind. It make us feel down and blue and make us lonely creature in this cursing world.

    As it is said ‘time is best counsel’, it tuned everything to fine tone.
    Good list to keep it always high. And I’ll look for it again.

    I really liked when you say that we should not compare ourselves to others. Indeed. I feel any single individual is unique and are somehow better than the rest and also that every others are better than the individual in some different aspect. Its all about knowing our pros and cons and keep ourselves according to need of the time.

    Leaving the post following your 8th point – 🙂
    Regards
    – Koj

  39. RobG

    May 10, 2013 at 4:31 pm

    Hello Harleena, I run in to lot of people that feel they don’t have enough self esteem is these days and I sometimes can’t understand why they feel that way.

    I mean you are human and can do anything if you put your mind to it right? at least that’s how I feel.

    I think some people feel this way is because of the people they’re are around telling then they can’t do things.

    There’s a saying never take advice from people that are not achievers or doing anything with their lives because if your not accomplishing anything how can you help me to….

    Being around positive people will help build up your self esteem in every possible way.

    Thanks so much for a great read my friend.

  40. Nirmal

    May 10, 2013 at 4:37 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    I am new to your blog. your blog is really good & simple.

    It’s an excellent post, i had come across. Self Esteem is an important thing in human life. I often lose self esteem in my life. By losing it, i learnt so many things. Because i can able to find the truth & inner things about others.

    There should be always, “Good in Bad & Bad in Good”. We have to accept both these things. Anyway your post is very motivational.

  41. Liju Philip

    May 15, 2013 at 11:59 am

    What do you do when things are so negative and you end up with a negative thought and feeling at the end of the day. Not to mention waking up daily with a negative self esteem makes the rest of the day a chore.

    I do have such feelings once in a while, but i try my best to keep myself motivated. Good music, movies, outdoors and my cats are what keep me sane.

  42. Debbie

    May 16, 2013 at 4:27 am

    Excellent post, Harleena!

    Many people do suffer from lack of self-esteem. I had a less than ideal childhood and was also bullied by my peers. This affected me psychologically and I withdrew into my own little world. In the long run though, it made me stronger, more confident and with a “take no shit from anybody” attitude. It’s good to know one’s strengths and one’s weaknesses and I am completely candid about those. One way to spur me on is to tell me I can’t (or am not allowed to) do something. 🙂 There’s an old saying: “in order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion”. Rob G has an excellent point.

  43. Amandah

    May 16, 2013 at 11:28 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    This was an excellent post on self-esteem.

    As you mentioned, it’s not a good idea to compare yourself to others. I used to compare myself to others and then one day I ‘woke up’ and realized this wasn’t healthy.

    To boost my self-esteem, I say to myself, “You’re talented and creative; You’re worthy; You’re blessed; You’re loved.” I also review my accomplishments; sometimes I journal my accomplishments.

    More ways to boost your self-esteem

    – Write your accomplishments in a journal and review them from time-to-time.
    – Celebrate YOU during the year, other than your birthday.
    – Look in the mirror every day and say “I love you.”

    Thanks again for this great post. 🙂

  44. Emmanuel

    May 17, 2013 at 3:52 am

    I really had an ugly childhood upbringing and whiles reading the post, I just patted myself and smiled. It’s amazing how I’ve boasted my self esteem in these few years.

  45. Cameron Chardukian

    May 20, 2013 at 4:53 am

    I’d also add that body language is extremely important to the way you feel about yourself. Amy Cuddy did a Ted Talk about body language that I think you’d find really interesting.

  46. David Tucker

    May 20, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    Self-esteem is defnitely something everyone should care about. I loved your post. Special thanks for including exercising and eating right into your tips. Sometimes changing attitudes and using positive affirmations is all good but insufficient for achieving self-acceptance and self-love we’re looking for.

  47. Ilan Cohen

    May 24, 2013 at 7:16 pm

    Wow! This article really moved me! I’ll definitely live according to these points. And not from tomorrow, but from today, as Eckhard Tolle would say. 🙂 Thank you for the inspiration!

  48. Ankit

    May 29, 2013 at 8:25 am

    You write simply amazing. I think you must be making a lot of bucks from it.

  49. Bill

    May 30, 2013 at 11:39 pm

    I believe that you can smile through even the darkest days, this is my self esteem tool but reading this article has giving me plenty more tips to use.

  50. Oscar

    May 31, 2013 at 3:33 am

    Hi Singh,

    This is quite an amazing article you’ve got here. At least I now know the difference between Self Confidence and Self Esteem. Thanks a million.

  51. Ansh

    June 10, 2013 at 3:52 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    Many people do fail not because they do not have any capabilities but only because lack self esteem and don’t know how good they can be..

    Great post dear.. cheers

  52. Rupak

    June 27, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    Hi Harleena,nice to be back on your blog. I find Your blog really helpful where I get valuable information for my day today living. After reading this article of yours I discovered my inner self within me. I know I’m capable of doing wonders but I fail to execute them when it really matters. I feel the need to work on boosting my self esteem. Awesome one,aha-now! you rock!!!!!

  53. Jan Koch

    July 26, 2013 at 9:15 pm

    Hello Harleena,

    this post is a true masterpiece.
    I find myself in doubt about my abilities from time to time, especially when I’m under pressure or when a big failure occured. There are those phases coming and going, I guess everyone knows this feeling.

    Thanks for sharing those wonderful methods with us. I’ve just copied that article into Evernote, so that I can access it everywhere when doubts are rising again 🙂

    All the best,
    Jan

  54. Michael David Lawrience

    August 3, 2013 at 8:30 pm

    Hello Harleena; Great post. As a teacher of self esteem to teen girls I have them learn about their positive strengths, recognize and learn to change negative self talk and rather than comparing themselves to others to begin to learn to love themselves.

  55. Mukul Bansal

    August 8, 2013 at 1:21 am

    Harleena Ma’am the above mentioned points are have opened my eyes,

    I think I always keep telling myself that I cannot achieve this , that etc.. I am never positive about myself. I keep comparing myself with others (How successful they are and how unsuccessful I am :/) …. Neither Do I have friends who encourage me to do things, they are always negative about me. Maybe the reason is I am myself very negative about myself. I keep looking at my negative sides instead of positive ones 😛 I fear failure and never like taking risks :/ … Where should I start Harleena Ma’am ?? Need Your Help

  56. Clarence

    April 22, 2014 at 7:57 am

    I love this great article simply because its teaching you to believe in yourself rather than being affected by the fear of failure.

  57. Samir

    May 13, 2014 at 2:18 pm

    Hello,

    Just landed here after reading about you at “kabenlah” and I guess its been really long time since the last time I visited your blog.

    Seems like I’ve learned new points regarding how to boost self esteem.

    Thanks for sharing.

  58. Rachel Wolany

    December 9, 2015 at 7:10 am

    Hey Harleena,

    I really appreciate how you explained the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence. I believe I have the self-esteem to work on any areas where self-confidence lacks. For that I am truly grateful.

    I have plans of looking into the mirror with no hair. I can’t wait to do it, but I am a little fearful. In the new year I face this challenge. There are many reasons for it. But one is to see myself in a totally different way, record it so that I can examine how I feel.

    I do listen to my negative self talk but only to take note. I want to be onto whatever my mind is up to. I just wont stand to linger in negativity. As I was reading this part of the post I was thinking that I am very pleased with how I go about dealing with this area. The habits I have formed really work for me.

    Harleena – your points on how to improve on our self-esteem are motivating. Self love is so important – we are with ourselves for a life time. We really do need to appreciate who we are. Thanks for a wonderful reminder.

    Rachel.




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Read more posts in the category: Self Improvement




How to Boost Self Esteem in 8 Simple Ways

by Harleena Singh time to read: 9 min