How Do You Transmit More Than Genes To Your Children

- | 79 Aha! comments | Posted in category: Family & Parenting

mother holding two joyful kids in arms

How much do our children take after us?  If someone were to ask you this question, you’d probably think about genetic inheritance.

For example, if both parents have blue eyes, most likely the child will have blue eyes. If one parent has blue eyes then there’s a 50 percent chance that the child will have blue eyes.

It there’re health issues running in the family, this can also be transmitted to your child.

Your height, body shape, and other physical features, all can be transmitted from parents to children.   But that’s not the only things that parents transmit to their children.

There are other factors which you can transmit to your children that could turn out to be much more important in their life than genetic inheritance.

What else do we transmit to our children? To find out keep reading.

We Transmit More than Just Genes to our Children

Indeed, we transmit way more than our genes to our children. As a matter of fact, there are things that you could transmit to your adoptive children just as well as your biological children.

Whether they are your biological or adoptive children, you transmit those things to them all day long every single day of their childhood.

Unfortunately, there are still too many parents out there who are not aware of this, and therefore, are affecting their children in ways that they probably wouldn’t wish for.

Here is what your children will inherit from you just as well as your genes.

  • Your beliefs
  • Your emotions
  • Your actions
  • Your words

Let’s find out how you transmit those factors to your children.

How do you Transmit your Beliefs to your Child

You may be under the impression that your child will pick up on what you’re telling them more than anything else, but if you believed such thing you would be wrong.

Children pick up way more on their parents’ beliefs and actions than on what they just tell them.

In other words, the “do what I say, not what I do” doesn’t work well with children at all.

For example, if your child knows that you have a weak personality; all your verbal threats to make them behave will go to waste.

On the other hand, if your child knows that you have a strong personality, you won’t even have to threaten him or her at all to get listened to.

Whatever strong beliefs you have about yourself and about life, you will transmit to your child.

If you are an honest person, you don’t have to ever mention the word, you will automatically transmit honesty to your child. However, it also works the other way around of course.

Whatever belief you have about respecting others, respecting the planet you live on, your approach about money, etc., all are strong beliefs that you carry around and transmit to your child whether you are aware of it or not.

It took me to reach age 27 to realize that I had my mother’s beliefs about money. What about you?

Have you thought about some beliefs that you might be carrying around because they were transmitted to you by your parents?

Are such beliefs serving you well?  Are they valid beliefs? If you are a parent, what type of beliefs are you transmitting to your children?  Those are great questions to ask yourself.

parents transmit knowledge to kids

How do you Transmit your Emotions to your Child

Whether you are happy, anxious, jealous, upbeat, depressed, positive, negative, etc., you will transmit your disposition to your child.

When I was a child, because of life events that my mother went through, she became a very anxious person, to the point that it became chronic.  As a child I picked up on that anxiety and became very anxious as well.

Looking back, and with my knowledge of the law of attraction, I can see how this anxiety was a factor in attracting bullies into my life at school.

As a result of all such anxiety accumulated from both what I picked up from my mother and what I was experiencing from bullies at school, I developed a stomach ulcer that became full blown at age 16.

What you need to realize as parents is that results do not show up from one day to the next, but they snowball to a climax, which if you don’t pay attention to or just ignore, you’ll never understand where they came from.

For example, a child may show some aggressiveness or lack of interest in school, but if you don’t try to discern the roots of the problem, you’ll never be able to fix the issue.  Such issues and problems don’t just happen on their own, there’s always a cause.

Remember that if you experience any strong negative emotions or stressful situations, you will transmit those negative vibrations to your child which in time will translate to negative results.

If you experience difficult times as parents, you must child your children that as much as you can.  Just being aware of this will help you in doing so.

How do you Transmit with your Words to your Child

I think that today, given the information that’s available to us, no parent should be ignorant to the fact that their words do affect their children greatly.

Tell your child enough times that he’s good to nothing and it will be so.  However, even without going to such extreme, you can damage your child’s spirit in smaller ways that can go a long way when it comes to their achievements or lack thereof.

There are some words that parents should use very carefully; a few of them are as following. 

Be careful

For example, the expression “be careful”.

While it’s OK and even necessary to use the expression be careful to warn your child from potential danger at times, it shouldn’t be over used, because it can make a child very fearful from trying new things or very nervous each time they do try.

Even much later in life, they will hear that “be careful” voice subconsciously and it can be preventing them from achieving big goals in life.

No

Statistically, a child hears the word NO over 3 times more often than the word YES.

Because of security reasons, the word no may have to be used once in a while, but if you can avoid using the word no and substituting it by another word of some type, or a more fancy explanation that will be very beneficial to your child now and for the rest of his or her life.

Remember that the word no is a negative word, and the less we use it with a child the better it will be for them in the long run.

I’m going to hit you

When I hear a parent tell their child “I’m going to hit you” I have to say that it gives me the shivers.

How many people do you tell that you’re going to hit them, or smack them when they make a mistake or don’t act the way they should? My guess is no one; right?

As a matter of fact, that’s against the law to hit someone in any developed countries.

Yet, parents say this to their own children, whom they love, on a regular basis.  And what’s more is that some parents don’t only threaten their children, but actually hit them, while feeling totally justified.

The truth of the matter is that there’s something truly wrong with this.  As a matter of fact, recent researches have shown that hitting a child affects his brain. For example, a slap in the face can both affect a child’s brain emotionally and physically?

Threatening and hitting a child teach them that they can do the same to others, and that’s an OK thing to do, but most of all it affects their subconscious mind and brain in a very negative way.

A child that has been threatened and hit too much can become an abusing spouse, parent, or both. 

Conclusion 

Everything you ARE, DO, or SAY has a huge impact on your child.  While you can’t control what you transmit to your child genetically, you can control what you transmit to them otherwise.

You transmit way more than genes to your child. You transmit your personality, your way of life, your actions, your beliefs, your emotions, and your words.

It’s up to you to make sure that you transmit positive things that will help your children to live the best life they can live.

Over to you –

Were you aware that you transmit to your children more than just your genes? As a parent, what do you do to make sure that your child leads a better and positive life? Share in the comments below.

 

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos, 123RF Stock Photos



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  1. Chery Schmidt

    May 31, 2013 at 9:58 am

    HI Harleena, You made a great choice in having Sylviane Nuccio as your guest blogger, This is a Great Post!!

    As a single parent when raising my boys it was very important for me to say as well as do the right things to help live in a positive atmosphere.

    There dad was a alcoholic so I had to be the meanie and make excuses as to why they were not allowed to go visit him all the time. Of course this was very hard for me to do without bad mouthing him.

    To this day my boys are very Grateful that I raised them and not their dad they both know was doing what was best for them at the time.

    Loved This Post Thanks Girls and Have a Great Weekend.. Chery 🙂

    • Sylviane Nuccio

      June 3, 2013 at 4:47 am

      Hi Chery,

      Wow, I can’t only imagine how tough it was for you. When there is what I call a “bad parent” it’s not fun for the other parent as they have to lie, sometimes, and of course not fun for the kids.

      When my father died suddenly in a car accident I was 5 and in those days, parents didn’t believe in saying the truth about death to a small child.

      So my mother said to me that he went on a business trip. Problem is he didn’t come back from it, so by the time I learned the truth I suffered from the abandonment syndrome.

      It’s a good thing that parents are more educated these days about these things.

      Thanks for coming.

    • Harleena Singh

      June 11, 2013 at 3:57 pm

      Hi Chery – good to see you, and yes, Sylviane is a great choice for this post 🙂

      I can well understand how tough it must have been for you, being a single parent, when the both of us at times have a tough time with our kids!

      Oh dear…that must have been so tough, to keep them away from their father, yet there was no other alternative. I’m glad they appreciate the right decision you took way back then, which is what matters most at the end of the day.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂

  2. Adrienne

    May 31, 2013 at 3:24 am

    Good to see you Sylviane and what an interesting post.

    So as you know, I also don’t have any children but here is a great question for you.

    There are three kids in our family and of course we were all raised the same way. The same morals, values, picked up on the same emotions from our parent, were taught the same rules, disciplined the same way, etc. So how come my sister which is the first born, is so totally different then my brother and I? I’ve often times wondered that. She was the rebellious one where we pretty much behaved. My mother definitely had that strong personality and you did not disobey her.

    Can’t wait to hear your answer to that.

    ~Adrienne

    • Sylviane Nuccio

      June 3, 2013 at 4:33 am

      Hi Adrienne,

      I’m glad I came back here to check and saw your comment.

      Well, when you see 2 or 3 or more children raised the exact same way, you can’t expect them to be exactly the same. Characters, and personality are still pretty unique. And, then there are others facts of life that can get in the way.

      But whatever the personality of the person, what we teach our children as parents will still touch them in many ways.

      For example, my mother, aunt and uncle were raised the same way, yet they are so different to the point that my mom being the most active/fast paced one would lose it with her sister and brother sometimes. Yet, they did have the same values.

      I was raised exactly the same way than my brother, yet, we are very different too. What we do have in common, though, is the values that our mother taught us, but that doesn’t make us to have the same personality.

      For example I was always more rebellious than my bother, but more forgiving. I was always considered to be the nicest one, but it’s because I suffered more than him at school. I know now and I’ve always known that my bother is not kinder than me, just different. My mom knew that too.

      We all have different personalities, even among siblings. Look at animals? They do too. My Tony and Sophie (my kitties) were siblings, yet so different too. Kitties from the same litter, both totally attached to me and loving, but man, two different cats in personality.

      We can’t expect less from humans. Now like animals, some of us are mean, and that doesn’t always has anything to do with what we were taught, it could be just part of a person’s personality. There are such things as bad seed, as we call them.

      I hope this helps a bit.

      Thanks for coming, Adrienne!

  3. Johan Bengtsson

    May 30, 2013 at 8:13 pm

    How you act and behave around your child is so important, especially in the early years. Thanks a lot for this great post Sylviane.

    • Sylviane Nuccio

      June 3, 2013 at 4:09 am

      Hi Johan,

      I’m glad you like it.
      Thanks for coming.

    • Harleena Singh

      June 11, 2013 at 4:26 pm

      Welcome to the blog Johan!

      I agree with you there, and all that we do, our kids are always watching us. So, we better be careful ALL the time 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  4. Barbara Charles

    May 29, 2013 at 6:20 am

    Hi Sylviane,

    I found your article extremely interesting. I was one of those parents that I guess, that displayed confidence. My children, all 3 are particularly strong and full of confidence. I love to see it in them.
    I also only had to look at them (give them the look 🙂 and they would immediately stop what they were doing and settle down. If I had to raise my voice, they would have died! But ‘the look’ was always enough.

    I myself was not so confident growing up being threatened as you mentioned by my mother on a regular basis and sometimes smacked or spanked for her punishment for what she thought was indiscretions.

    When I left home, my confidence was long in coming, but I was always smarter than everyone around me so excelling in school and in my career raised my confidence level. By the time I had children, I vowed to instill them with confidence and love. I felt with those attributes they could go anywhere. They were already smart so what more did I need them to be.

    All 3 – 1 boy, 2 girls are mature, confident adults now. The older two are surgical technicians and the youngest decided not to complete 10 year career playing the violin (sad, sad for me), but is finishing up her degree as a neurodiagnostic technician.

    If parents when we pass on the traits that are positive, we can’t help but be proud. Your article is incredibly insightful for those who are not aware.

    Thank you for writing about this. Thanks for sharing.
    Barbara

    • Sylviane Nuccio

      May 30, 2013 at 4:35 am

      Hi Barbara,

      I’m so glad that you are, indeed, aware, because let me tell you I’ve met more people in my life that weren’t than those that were.

      I can recall parents saying the worst things to and about their kids in front of them. I real disaster! That’s why psychiatrists and psycho-therapists have so many clients to take care off. All those people who were fed bad stuff during they childhood. Some to a lesser degree, but some not pretty at all.

      It’s a blessing that you’ve raised three successful children. Successful, meaning, not only in their careers but in their heads. There are many “successful” people that are not right in their head too 🙂 So I don’t call this successful.

      Thanks for your great input!

  5. I. C. Daniel

    May 29, 2013 at 4:11 am

    I’m not a parent yet, I’m young… I’ve got 21 years.

    It might take few years to become a parent. Is not so hard but is a hard after that.

    Nice reading your tips Sylviane. See you next time here on Harleena website.

    Best regards from I. C. Daniel

    • Sylviane Nuccio

      May 30, 2013 at 4:25 am

      Hi I.C. Daniel,

      You’re so funny, it’s not so hard, but it’s hard after that? Well, it should become easier as you get more knowledge about what affects children.

      Thanks for coming 🙂






How Do You Transmit More Than Genes To Your Children

by Sylviane Nuccio time to read: 6 min