How Social Media Cheating Leads to Relationship Problems

Profile photo of Harleena Singh - | 63 Aha! comments | Posted in category: Love & Relationships

Woman having affair online with spouse being unawares

Infidelity has many forms. Besides the commonly known physical infidelity, you can now be unfaithful emotionally and mentally, while you are online.

Whether you are married, unmarried, or in a relationship, I am sure this post will have some lessons to take away and keep for life.

These are the times when you see and hear many people getting into affairs, on the social networking sites.

Social media cheating is what I would call it, as it’s about people getting intimate emotionally and mentally with someone other than their spouse.

Of course, many a times these virtual relationships take a real form and create a parallel in the real world to the relationships that people have with their spouses.

It’s a fact that the place most people consider safe to cheat on their spouse is the social media. It mostly starts there! Don’t tell me you don’t know about it all! 😉

RELATED READ: Does Online Social Networking Friendship Really Work

But quite often these social media cheaters are caught red-handed. And once that happens, usually the sky falls on their marriage, which is destroyed beyond repair.

Social media and social network are the cause of many relationship issues, divorces, or marriage failures.

So, there are two things to learn – not to use the social media to cheat on your partner and spouse. If you do, then know that it can lead to an irreparable breakup and even divorce.

However, like the knife and the AK47, which aren’t inherently bad, the social media too wasn’t made to break marriages or destroy relationships.

It’s because of their negative use by people that these objects and services get a bad name.

At the same time, you have to understand that social media and social networks have a great influence on people, and you need to learn to use it sensibly and avoid the pitfalls.

“When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom.” ~ John Gray

DO READ: Poor Communication Leads To Relationship Problems

social-media-affair

Influence of Social Media on Infidelity

I’m sure many of you will agree that cheating on your partner or spouse on the social media is a big temptation.

There could be many reasons as to why couples cheat, but you all know that many do!

I know of people who aren’t happy in their relationships and marriages, and they are online, finding someone else!

They have even asked me at times to connect them with some person. I tried talking them out of it, but that is their personal issue, which one cannot probe further.

While there are some who are unhappy in their relationship and marriage, and cheat their partner and spouse by trying to flirt!

Oh yes they try their best, especially on Facebook, where you make friend’s because someone sends you a friend request, only to realize later what their intention was.

I am sure many ladies here would agree with me, and perhaps it’s the same with men who are approached by women who seek another!  🙂

In such a case you need to be very clear and curt about what you want, so that they understand and don’t bother you again.

If they do – just remove them from your friend list. But this just goes to prove the point I am trying to make in this post, so read on!

Sometimes you may tend to use the social media or the social networking sites as dating sites.

You may start out rather innocently or even intentionally, and soon one thing leads to another. In this process, your conversation becomes more casual and personal, and even flirty!

You try to find an outlet or someone who can lend you an ear, with whom you can discuss your day-to-day life or dreams, and disappointments, instead of your spouse or partner.

It is called digital infidelity.

“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” ~ Anthony Robbins

digital-infidelity

Digital Infidelity

The digital world is like your dream world.

You’re in cyberspace where no one knows you, and you can pretend and portray yourself as you like.

There is no one watching you, your moves, the connections you make, and what all you do!

You can tweak your image and control how you’re perceived by people. You can impress people and spell your magic through words and deceptive appearances.

One reason why social media becomes a risk for your marriage and relationship is because you tend to exchange intimate information in your virtual communication without feeling fearful or guilty.

Sometimes people even have romantic or sexual conversations on the social networking sites thinking that a few flirty messages or emails don’t mean they are cheating!

It all seems harmless.

Quite often people do that even in the presence of their spouses but on their Smartphone or laptop screens, without others and their spouse getting to know of it.

But when you are going through a rough patch in your existing relationship, these back burners or online friends become your temptations and might even lead you to commit adultery.

With the adoption of social media by the masses, the chances are that you might meet your ex-flame online, or someone you had a crush on in your past.

You are then tempted to live a life that you couldn’t live earlier, and continue a digital relationship with someone whom you couldn’t have a real one with in your past.

Isn’t this purely cheating on your spouse or partner and your recent marriage or relationship?

But whether real or virtual, any relationship needs your involvement, takes your time, and apparently affects the other aspects of life.

Your partner or spouse may notice all that you are up to and consider that as cheating.

He or she may consider infidelity as sharing your physical, mental, and emotional intimacy with some other.

Here’s an infographic that shows how social media has proved to be a decisive factor in the increasing divorces.

Do not use the facts presented in this infographic to find smarter ways to cheat on your spouse.

Instead, use them to learn to control your usage of social media and define your limits so you don’t hurt your marriage through it.

There are many other reasons why people have affairs and they are discussed in this post “7 Top Signs That Your Spouse Might Be Having An Affair”, which also tells you about the signs indicating that your spouse is having an affair.

“When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself.” ~ Deepak Chopra

Social Media Cheating, Infidelity, and Divorce

social-media-cheating-infographic

Source: TotalDivorce

Social media cheating isn’t only the story of a few Americans, just because it occurs there the most.

Instead, it is becoming a trend all over the world now including in places like India, Nigeria, United Kingdom, Australia, and many other countries.

“Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person.” ~ Wayne Dyer

How to Avoid Divorce and Relationship Issues Due to Social Networking Activities

People are getting divorced, separated, and distanced by using the social media and networks, which were meant to connect people and build relationships.

It is evident that Facebook is the leader of the pack of social networking sites. It is being used the most by lawyers, as proof in the courts to prove infidelity and win the case.

This is probably a reminder that you need to act responsibly on the social media and social networking sites. Here are a few tips:

  • Every update and action performed on these sites should be inspected from all perspectives.
  • Remember that anything can hurt you, your loved ones and others, or could even be used against you.
  • It’s good to be yourself and not pretend to be someone else, not only offline but online as well.
  • If you find yourself flirting on social media and other networking sites, especially Facebook, stop yourself.
  • Realize – this is a sign that your personal relationship with your partner or spouse needs attention and revival.
  • If you are having problems then work on making your relationship better rather than spending time seeking another!

MUST READ: How to Become Best Friends with Your Spouse

Cheating is a risky behavior that mostly likely will produce negative results.

Whatever be the cause that leads to it, know that cheating can become addictive and a form of repeated behavior.

That’s why people say a cheater will always be a cheater because cheating can also run in your genes. So, be aware and remain alert!

It’s time that you understand and take control of yourself.

Don’t let your desires and needs of sexual pleasures drive you to a deadly situation of a disastrous marriage or severe relationship issues.

Be responsible. Be in control. Be wise.

Social media is a wonderful tool; don’t use it to cheat on your spouse.

Instead, resolve your relationship problems, and if you cannot, then look for a counselor and turn your relationship with your partner or spouse into a healthy one.

Having said that all, I confess that I like the social media and the social networking sites because I only use it for professional purposes. Even if it’s for personal purposes at times, I keep it limited and in control. 🙂

“Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.” ~ Unknown

Over to You –

Have you come across any social media cheating case that destroyed someone’s marriage or even relationship? What precautions do you take while interacting on the social networking sites? Do you think the relationships formed through the social media can pose a threat to a spouse or partner? Share in the comments.

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos, Don Hankins



Show Comments

63 Comments - Read and share thoughts

  1. Profile photo of Brenda Pace

    Brenda Pace

    December 5, 2014 at 12:22 am

    Hi Harleena,

    This is a fabulous post! As you know, I’ve had my share of emotional betrayal when my spouse reconnected with a friend on FB. It progressed from there and well, I wrote a book about it. 🙂 The internet can be a very useful tool as well as a nightmare or even a weapon to an extent. Like anything, if it falls into the wrong hands, bad things may happen.

    Passing this along.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 5, 2014 at 1:33 pm

      Hi Jayme,

      Glad you liked it, and somehow I just knew you’d come over and be able to relate to this one, and I was right! 🙂

      Yes, I know about you and your spouse as one’s read your posts and even the Facebook updates, and what surprises us even more is when such things happen to people we know, just like yourself. But you got over that phase and things got better, though I wonder whether the trust really returns or not in such cases.

      You are right, the Internet has it’s pros and cons – a lot depends on how you use it, and how much of it you allow to affect you too. I guess seeing the brighter side of things, you wouldn’t have known you had the hidden talent to author a book – in fact a series of them! Something good that came out of it. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and passing it along – much appreciated 🙂

  2. Amandah

    December 5, 2014 at 12:58 am

    Excellent post!

    When my sister was looking for a divorce lawyer, she was asked if she had a Facebook page and if she posted anything about her soon-to-be ex-husband on it. My sister’s not that tech savvy and doesn’t use Facebook. 😉

    I’m careful about who I interact with on social networks. Even if a person’s relationship status is single, you have no way of knowing without asking, “Are you really single?”

    Relationships formed through social media may pose a threat to the one with a spouse or partner. There are many factors involved from insecurity to potentially crossing a line. My advice is to follow your intuition. If you sense something is off, don’t engage with the person. If you meet someone who has the potential to become a business colleague, collaborator, or friend, go ahead and chat. But make sure your intentions are known. Otherwise, you may find yourself falling down a rabbit hole that never ends.

    Finally, be a responsible social network user.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 5, 2014 at 1:49 pm

      Hi Amandah,

      That’s amazing! She doesn’t use Facebook! A lot like my better half too, who prefer to not have any social media accounts at all..lol.. But it’s also a wise thing to do I would say as you can really tend to get lost if you don’t keep track of the time you spend there, or any other social networking site you use. Yes, lawyers surprisingly head to Facebook the first thing in case of a divorce!

      Absolutely! You don’t even know if the picture they use on their profile is their’s, nor anything that they share about themselves, unless you know them from before or have visited their blog and interacted earlier. I make sure to scan their about page and all that they have shared, before accepting any friend request too.

      Honestly speaking, I get so many friend requests daily, and if there are a large number of common friend’s, I usually accept once I check their profiles. But because I am online for a limited time on the social networking sites, I never chat with anyone unknown, unless as you mentioned it’s work related or someones seeking help etc. There is just NO time with tens of notifications that need attention, and if they pester a lot, I am glad we have the option to remove such people as quick as we add them! I agree – we need to be responsible for our actions, it’s as simple as that.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us 🙂

  3. Profile photo of Lea Bullen

    Lea Bullen

    December 5, 2014 at 1:11 am

    In this day and age there are so many ways and opportunities to be unfaithful. Some people concentrate on the physical act but I have to agree with you, a deep mental and emotional connection is cheating also. And can sting just as bad.

    I think everyone has different intentions when using social media. If yours is just to lightly socialize then keep it at that and be mindful of those who may try to engage you that are looking for more. You don’t want to lead them on and you don’t want to get tangled up in such a mess as it will spill over beyond the interweb.

    ~Lea

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 5, 2014 at 2:05 pm

      Hi Lea,

      Absolutely! We talked of just the social media, but you are right, there are so many ways to be unfaithful if one really wants to be. A lot depends on your intentions and of course situation too. But yes, we just cannot call the physical act as cheating because the emotional and mental is where it all starts.

      If your intentions are clean and straight, and your bond is strong with your partner, nothing can happen to you or your relationships. But if you are going through a rough patch, anything can happen if you can’t keep control! Yes indeed, if you wish to keep things light and simple, you need to portray yourself in such a way so that you don’t get too involved and people also understand and maintain their distance or talk to you in the way you prefer. I guess it all depends on you too, isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂

  4. Profile photo of Nisha Pandey

    Nisha Pandey

    December 5, 2014 at 3:02 am

    Hi Harleena Mam,

    Interesting topic indeed!:)

    Now days social media cheating stories are trending. Making friends on social media is not bad. But, we should maintain some limits there.:)

    As a blogger, I spent my lot of times at social media. And my husband uses on his free times. But, we never hide our friend’s lists/relations with each other. I think, this is good way to maintain our wonderful relation further and forever. 🙂

    Sometimes, I add many unknown persons request on my facebook profile. But, when I realize that he/she is not good, I immediately remove them from my friend’s list. Be aware with social media and use it in a right way.

    Thanks for sharing these wonderful lessons. Hope, this will be helpful for all of us.

    Have an amazing day!

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 5, 2014 at 2:45 pm

      Hi Nisha,

      Nice to know that you liked the topic, which I know is so different from the ones you write, yet an important one for those of us who spend so much time online. 🙂

      Absolutely! Maintain the limit and keep a safe distance because who is on the other side of the screen, one just never knows. I like your idea of sharing your friend’s list with your spouse and that keeps relationships very open, and the same way I keep no secrets from my spouse – everything is very open and it helps you bond better.

      That’s just what we all have to do once we know that the person on the other side has different intentions, and I’ve done that with a few people too, but most understand if you let them know once.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. 🙂

  5. Profile photo of Nathaniel Kidd

    Nathaniel Kidd

    December 5, 2014 at 5:26 am

    Hi Harleena,

    A wonderful post and one that many should read. It is sad but true that we can take something so pure that was meant for a good purpose and mess it up. I must live in a bubble because I never actually thought about social media cheating, but now that I think of it, I can see how people would attempt it. If someone wants to be unfaithful they surely will find a way to do it.

    For me that would be just as hurtful as physically cheating. Cheating with someone emotionally. I agree with Lea that we should keep our social media connections as professional as possible and if we see they are looking for more it is time to disconnect.

    I have always said if you have a spouse or a significant other that person should be considered your best friend. If you look at if from that angle you should not have to take to social media to have someone lend your their shoulder. I love connecting with people on social media but that is exactly what is is a friendly connection.

    Harleena you have opened my eyes today. Awesome post and I truly enjoyed getting to see things from a different perspective.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 5, 2014 at 7:41 pm

      Hi Nat,

      Thank you for your kind words and I am glad you liked this one 🙂

      I agree with you there but this is exactly what happens online between people who are out to cheat on their partners. It’s good that you live in such a bubble, just the way it should be – away from all of these things or they can get the better of you, if you are not careful. Yes, if not this, an unfaithful partner can surely find more ways than one.

      Very true, that’s the reason I mentioned the emotional bit, which for us would hurt much more, isn’t it? Lea is right there, though not everyone on such social networking sites is a professional and most of the time we don’t get to know of the other persons intentions, till you start interacting with them. But I am glad we have the option to remove them from our friend list anytime we feel they are crossing the line.

      I am with you 100% there, but if there are problems in a relationship or marriage, either one of them will disconnect and that’s when such issues start, especially if attempts aren’t made to resolve those issues in time. One thing leads to another, and it can become very late to make amends sometimes. Yes, we need to keep everyone at a friend’s level and maintain that, no matter what, and this post was written mainly to convey this very message across to people.

      Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your views with us. Glad if it helped you see things differently. 🙂
      BTW – I am loving your nice and elaborate comments ALL over…is it the ABC Magic 😉

  6. Carolyn Nicander Mohr

    December 5, 2014 at 6:11 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Lol, when I read the title, I thought social media cheating was like posting to Facebook and Twitter simultaneously!

    Yes, I did know a husband who cheated via social media. Sure enough, his wife caught him but they reconciled and are still married.

    I think the Golden Rule applies here: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you wouldn’t want your partner to do something, then you shouldn’t be doing it yourself.

    You can always ask yourself if you would be comfortable giving your social media passwords to your partner. If not, then consider what you’re posting, the connections you’re making and what you’re looking for that you’re not getting at home. Instead of putting your energy into social media, put it into your real life relationship.

    You’re right about the knife, Harleena. Social media is all about how we use it!

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 5, 2014 at 7:57 pm

      Hi Carolyn,

      Lol…sorry for that, but glad you understood what it meant eventually 🙂

      I have a friend who’s in a similar situation too! However, even after reconciliation, do things remain the same? Is the trust factor as good as what it was earlier? Perhaps over time it all gets back to normal, and I hope it did for them too.

      I was about to add the Golden Rule to the post too, glad you shared it here with us, and that’s exactly how it should be. Wish people would understand that fact, and if they do, then they’d never cheat on their partners.

      Well said, and I am glad my partner and myself share all the passwords and there is complete transparency, and perhaps our work is such as we work together. But even earlier, before we started working together, we did just the same as now. Yes, use the knife wisely 😉

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your words of wisdom with us. 🙂

  7. Profile photo of Carol Graham

    Carol Graham

    December 5, 2014 at 8:22 am

    I have seen this first-hand more than once and it is so sad. I can, however, understand it as I have met so many wonderful friends via social media. I can see how relationships could be taken to the next level. But if you are unhappy and looking for love in all the wrong places, I suppose you may feel safe when you do it online — unfortunately, as you said, it may not stop there.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 5, 2014 at 8:09 pm

      Welcome to my blog Carol! 🙂

      I agree with you there and such incidences are what open our eyes and make us more aware and alert. Yes, the more you interact and connect, the more you are drawn into social media, if you don’t know how to limit yourself, and you can really get lost there.

      Things are different when you are alone, unhappy, separated, or just giving up on your partner – you perhaps will seek another, especially if things aren’t just working for you. Online might be safe but you can never say who is on the other side at all, unless you meet the person, and yes, things can go much beyond you’d imagined, if you allow them too.

      Thanks for stopping by, and for joining the ABC too- good to have you over 🙂

  8. lisa thomson

    December 5, 2014 at 9:13 am

    This is an important topic, Harleena. Social media has exploded in the last 10 years. I often get friend requests from strange men. I never accept them. My partner is my best friend so I’m lucky and I don’t seek outside friendships from other men. Although my guy can get on my nerves like he did tonight 😛

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 5, 2014 at 8:26 pm

      Hi Lisa,

      It sure is and I know you would know a lot more on this as you write about it on your blog 🙂

      That’s one way – of not accepting, but if their profiles look neat, one really can’t make out till they start interacting. Happens with me too, and I just politely refuse them and most of them understand, if they don’t, they are removed of course.

      Yes indeed, mine too and another reason is because we lead such busy lives, with hardly any time to sit and chat or interact with othes. Lol…that is part and parcel of the game called love 😉

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. 🙂

  9. Profile photo of Larry Frank

    Larry Frank

    December 5, 2014 at 9:27 am

    Hello Ma’am Herleena,
    Was social media evented to beak relationships and marriages, ofcourse not. These days, the social media is being miss used, like you said, you use social media for professional purpose, and I guess it’s same over here.
    I’ve met great friends on social media, I’ve been able to connect to alot of people on social nedia, and guess what? I have a limit at which I chat.

    Social media is drastically scandalizing relationships and mariages, and it’s good you made it knows today, and also gave a solution to it.

    Thanks for sharing, and do have a wonderful day ahead.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 6, 2014 at 10:01 am

      Hi Larry,

      I agree with you there, and it surely IS being misused by some people who are out there trying to do things they shouldn’t, and I hope they understand it all through this post 🙂

      True, and that’s just the case with most of us, bloggers, who meet online and those relationships develop into good friendships, but that is all. I guess we all remain too busy for anything else.

      Limiting your time online and doing all that you need to do, and coming away – does help a great deal, and that’s something I’ve always followed, or else I’d never be able to work! Also, you need to learn to say no to people who you feel are approaching you in the wrong way, and that’s where your intuition and senses help a lot.

      Thanks for stopping by and have a nice weekend as well 🙂

  10. Balroop Singh

    December 5, 2014 at 10:45 am

    Hi Harleena,

    You have picked up a hot topic and the info graphic is really good! Recently I had read an interesting book by Elif Shafak – The Forty Rules Of Love – which begins with a charmless marriage and very calmly ends with a relationship, for which the lady walks out of her marriage, leaving behind teenage children. And yes all this happens through exchange of emails! She had not even seen the person she felt attracted to! I kept thinking how much of the story could be contrived as marriages and relationships fall apart these days just like a pack of cards!

    Social media cheating is a new fad since it is considered to be safe flirting! If you look at the advertisements, they offer an open invitation for bored men and women to chat and get friendly with each other to bring some so called ‘happiness’ into their lives! People easily get trapped and duped!

    There is no doubt that social media has invaded into our lives in a big way but like all other technological tools, it needs to be used judiciously and smartly. I think only the idle and the thoughtless people misuse social media. The professionally busy people hardly get any time to be so irresponsible.
    Thanks for sharing a wonderful post! have a blessed weekend!

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 6, 2014 at 10:37 am

      Hi Balroop,

      Glad you liked it, and I’d earlier thought of keeping this a short infographic post, but there’s such a lot to write about such topics that I had to make it a longish post 🙂

      Haven’t read the book, though it sounds interesting, especially as the lady waited for SO long before she thought of calling it quits, and for a person she’d never seen! I guess something strong enough through those emails pulled her away because there was no spark left in her marriage – so, she went for anything that came her way.

      Absolutely! That’s just the way it is, and men and women can get so lost and go beyond limits at times too. You are right, such people are perhaps bored of their own relationships or marriages, and really have nothing better to do work-wise. If they had, that in itself can be a good diversion even if the issues are there in a relationship.

      Knowing when to stop and draw the line, while on such networking sites is the key I feel. The decisions are always in your hands as no one forces you when you are online, so you need to choose wisely.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your wisdom with us. Have a nice weekend as well 🙂

  11. Oloyede Jamiu

    December 5, 2014 at 11:46 am

    Hey Harleena,

    I don’t think there is anything in this world that has advantages that would not have its disadvantages.

    So when it comes to our disposition to the social media through the internet, then we all know what might happen to anyone especially people who are so much engrossed with their usage.

    The social media sites have been great platforms designed by their owners to create healthy relationship and friends between people who know each other in one way or the other irrespective of their current location in the world.

    I do believe that the social media should not be re-engineered by their users in order to achieve their social media cheating aims.

    There is no doubt that the social media can lead to relationship cheating. As it is even shown in the infographic above that 1 out of 5 adults use facebook for flirting.

    Thank you for updating us about this and do have a nice day ahead.

    -Oloyede Jamiu

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 6, 2014 at 11:00 am

      Hi Oloyede,

      True, there are always pros and cons, and social media too has it’s share 🙂

      Social media is a wonderful resource and a good place to make friend’s, but if you overdo things, it can all get out of hand. Yes indeed, it’s where people from all walks of life, all over the world come together and meet. It makes sense to use it wisely and not for cheating on your partners, which can break relationships and marriages, leading to divorce – just as the infographic shows.

      1-5 amazed me too, but if we talk to people, so many of them have either heard of such cases or gone through it themselves. I guess it makes sense to limit your time on such sites and build on your relationship offline with your partner, and if you have issues, work on them, rather than going in for such online ones.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. Have a nice weekend as well 🙂

  12. Profile photo of Nataly Auger

    Nataly Auger

    December 5, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    Very interesting post! Making new friends on social networks can be very satisfying, but sometimes the line between friendship and digital infidelity can become very thin. Social media cheating is very real!

    These so-called relationships can end up breaking up marriages. People should be very careful and think of the repercussions. Couples have to talk and exchange instead of searching online for someone to talk to and flirt with.

    I agree with you that people don’t consider online flirtation and sexual exchanges cheating, but they should realize that there are many ways to cheat and this is one of them. You don’t have to have physical exchanges to cheat.

    Have a great weekend and I am happy to share this!

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 6, 2014 at 12:18 pm

      Hi Nataly,

      Nice of you to say that 🙂

      Yes indeed, the line is too thin as you mentioned, and you never know when you cross over if you aren’t careful! Keeping things in limit is essential while you are on such social networking sites, especially Facebook.

      If the bond of love is not strong enough between two people, any relationship will breakup, and so does a marriage. Nothing works better than working on your own relationship and making efforts to resolve issues, and no one can help you but yourself, unless things have really gone out of hand, when you need counselling. But that’s still better than seeking others online, isn’t it?

      I guess that happens because it all takes place so naturally once you get to know the person on the other side. You become friend’s, chat, message, email, and one thing just leads to another. When you break that thin line, you just don’t get to know at times. Yes, this kind of a cheating might not be physical initially, but it covers all the other aspects, especially if you are already in a relationship with your partner or spouse.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. Have a nice weekend as well, and I appreciate the share 🙂

  13. Olayinka

    December 5, 2014 at 3:20 pm

    Firstly a big kudos to you Harleena, for writing this interesting post.

    I discovered that very things in life have advantages and disadvantage which implies also for the insurgent of social media in 21st century.
    One of my friend is going through this situation — His girlfriend re-united back with his ex on Instagram and they started to start their love affairs back, which really hunt my cousin for him not to believe is relationship anymore.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 6, 2014 at 12:27 pm

      Welcome to my blog Olayinka! 🙂

      Glad you liked the words, and thank you for your kind words 🙂

      That’s true, just as Oloyede mentioned earlier, though we need to look at the advantages and turn the disadvantages to our advantage, making it work for us the smart way, isn’t it?

      Sorry to hear about your friend, but such is life and these things happen when people meet their ex online only to reunite with them, which leaves their present relationship all broken up. I can understand what your friend must be undergoing, and it’s certainly not easy. But time is a big healer and I am sure he’d be fine after a while.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. 🙂

  14. Chery Shmidt

    December 6, 2014 at 3:29 am

    Hello Harleena,

    I find it kind of funny how many men (AND WOMEN) have approached me on my social media sites and immediately start telling me about themselves and what they are looking for.

    Shouldn’t the first conversation be Are you open to a relationship? Or are you interested in learning more about me?

    I usually do end up unfriending these people right away once I find out their intentions..

    Great Post! Thanks for sharing.. Chery :))

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 6, 2014 at 12:35 pm

      Hi Chery,

      Women too! 😕

      OMG! I thought it was perhaps only the other sex who approaches, but this just goes to probe how wrong I can be 😀 😆

      Yes indeed, the first time you start off, should be asking if the other person is ready or willing at all, and perhaps then you proceed further. I guess such people just put up all that they want in the first message they send you, which will make you unfriend them for sure, especially once you know of their intentions.

      Thanks for stopping by, and I am glad you liked it. Happy weekend too 🙂

  15. Profile photo of Vernon Layne

    Vernon Layne

    December 6, 2014 at 8:04 am

    Hi Harleena,

    This is something I believe needs more attention. I remember when I knew nothing about Facebook. And I asked my co-worker to show me how to set up an account because my fiancee at the time keep asking me to get on it.

    He agreed but told me to never like or comment on another woman’s picture, stay away from all my ex’s and don’t reply to direct messages from a woman. I’ve been doing it every since.

    I’m a strong believer that social media isn’t the problem, it’s people’s character. Communication with your mate is the key. And the willingness to put their concerns first. I tell my wife she can have the password to all my accounts if she likes. She said there’s no need because she trust me.

    Awesome post!

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 6, 2014 at 12:50 pm

      Hi Vernon,

      It sure does, and I hope it helps a lot of other people too, especially learn how things can go overboard if you aren’t in control. 🙂

      😀 I like the advice your friend gave you, and perhaps that’s why even your profile picture on Twitter is along with your wife now 😆 ( @rohanchaubey thanks!! These are working!)

      True. It is your character and what you feel about your present relationship too. Sometimes people just give up on each other due to various issues and finding someone else is very easy at such times. That’s where communication comes in because through talks you can resolve a lot of things, not to forget to keep the flames burning by working on your relationship or marriage, which is a must too!

      Trust is a big factor, and I am glad it’s there between both of you, just as it should be between couples. We too share our passwords, but that’s mainly because we work in the same field and need to check emails and other things, so if either of us is busy for a while, the work doesn’t suffer if it’s done by either of us.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us, and glad you liked it 🙂

      • Profile photo of Rohan Chaubey

        Rohan Chaubey

        December 6, 2014 at 1:33 pm

        You’re most welcome ma’am. Good to see that these are working here as well. 🙂

  16. Corina Ramos

    December 6, 2014 at 9:58 am

    Hi Harleena,

    You said plenty it all in this post. I’ve had some run ins with guys on Facebook whose intentions were not professional or friendly. It kind of gave me the creeps, some were very explicit too.

    I’ve also heard how social media profiles are being used in divorce court….it’s sad how a marriage can crumble over social media.

    My husband can see all my profiles, even the ones on my blog. I want him to feel comfortable and not worry that I might be doing something online. I don’t mind doing it if it means keeping the peace, you know? And it’s about respect as well.

    He overraacted once when he saw an email from Facebook suggesting who to friend because of mutual friends we had…I had to explain it to him LOL.

    I’m sure getting attention from the opposite sex does wonders for the ego but I just don’t think it’s worth testing the waters. One thing can lead to another very quickly.

    Great post Harleena! Have a great weekend!

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      December 6, 2014 at 1:09 pm

      Hi Corina,

      You bet I did! And you know I could’ve carried on endlessly had I not seen the word count 🙂

      I think it happens with most women and perhaps men too. Chery was just mentioning that she was even approached by some women, not only men, and they are so direct to say what they want, before even trying to become friends, the moment you accept their friend request.

      Yes indeed, surprisingly Facebook is the one that’s used the most by lawyers in such cases, which just goes to show that their 1:5 stats is all so true. I am with you there and I think our spouses feel better when they have open access to our profiles, and it should be the same or vice versa, if they have a profile at all 😆

      Anything for peace, harmony, respect, and love in a relationship is acceptable I would say.

      Lol…I understand what you mean about Facebook suggesting who to friend because of the mutual friends we have, and it’s nice to see both of your pictures on your profile, along with your names, which should be a clear indication for those trying to get over-friendly.

      Not at all worth it, even with the attention and what all not! The less time one spends on such sites, the better it is, so one doesn’t get involved into talks or discussions that carry on endlessly. More so, who has so much of time to spare!

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. Have a lovely weekend as well 🙂

  17. Profile photo of Dennis Seymour

    Dennis Seymour

    December 6, 2014 at 1:30 pm

    Very unique topic. I would have never realized this. I would naturally just think of Tinder and Snapchat and how this generation are using it. I also know the dating sites that I work on has a lot of users, but I’ve ben naive to think that there weren’t any cheating going on LOL.

    It’s a good thing my wife has access to my profiles plus I practically dont use Facebook.

    Have a great weekend Harleena!

    Pinning this shortly 🙂

  18. Babanature

    December 6, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    Hello Harleena,

    What a nice post on social media cheating.

    In most of the cases I have seen some social media cheating, when your partner is no more feeling your vibe due to always fighting, misunderstanding and distrust. So

    Social media is one tempting place to be, as long as you always engage trying to chat more socially, you might fall victim someday. For me, I use social media for one thing – to promote me and my blog.
    I do chat sometimes, but I do not go too personal 🙂

    Thanks for such a lovely post. Do have a good weekend ahead…

  19. Mi Muba

    December 6, 2014 at 6:50 pm

    Hi Harleena

    You are right social media cheating not only can ultimately spoil the life of both the spouses but a whole generation if they have kids.

    Getting separation on sound reasons is not bad but this is most unfortunate that most of the reasons of divorce now pertain to cheating.

    It is the biggest reality regarding every facility that a thing itself is not good or bad. It is its usage that makes it good or bad.

    This is very astonishing that one out of five or 20 per cent people use Facebook for flirting. It is equally quite alarming the men are more prone to social media cheating though they don’t have to face as much risk while doing this as the women in every society face.

    In eastern societies men are mostly crazy to exploit social media to fulfill their mean desires and cheating to their wife is not bad for them until they are caught red handed. Even after being caught they can continue their marriage if they want as wife is still in weaker position in most of the eastern societies. No doubt things are improving but still at quite slow pace.

    Talking to each other and having patience to listen to each other is the best solution of relationship problem. If separation puts big impact on both of them socially, financially and on their kids then it is must to repair it for the good of all. Yes if there is no option then it is fine to be separated instead of first doing cheating and then have a little uncomfortable separation.
    It is rightly said by someone if someone is dissatisfied by nature he can hardly survive with the best spouse he or she can get. If someone is realistic in seeing everything in life then he or she can adjust by ignoring the bad things and keeping in view of good qualities of his or her partner.

    Thanks a lot for sharing a post on one of the important relationship issues with a wonderful infographics that offers lot of food for thought.

    Have a great weekend

  20. Ahsan

    December 6, 2014 at 10:53 pm

    Hello Harleena,

    As the use of technology is increasing day by day, its our duty to choose right one & avoid bad. I think in a family true bondage is very important. There must be honesty. It is the part & parcel of a married life. If you are honest to your partner about using social Media, then there will be no harm.

    I think every facebook user must read this resourceful post at least once. It should increase the morality & give right direction. Finally we should use technology for good use

  21. Lorraine Reguly

    December 7, 2014 at 4:49 am

    I am single now but can recall how annoying it was when my ex used to spend massive amounts of time on the computer. I hated it! Admittedly, he was not always on social media, but… still… it drove me crazy.

    Now, I wonder what he would think of me, if he could see how much time I spend on the computer these days. LOL

  22. Akshar Mitra

    December 7, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    point well made. Amused by the work on Infographics. It speaks really well. Luckily have not came across a case where marriage has been destroyed, although came across two cases where spouses were checking/ spying on Husbands FB activity by using/ stealing his FB pswd.

    Yes I believe that relationship formed through social media could cause a serious threat to the relationship, provided it gets noticed 😉

  23. Sherryl Perry

    December 7, 2014 at 11:59 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    You have written an excellent piece on this all too relevant topic. It’s unfortunate that people put themselves in situations where they risk their marriages in this way.

    BTW – I absolutely love the infographic!

  24. Profile photo of Swadhin Agrawal

    Swadhin Agrawal

    December 8, 2014 at 12:31 am

    Hello Harleena madam,
    Being late, I missed this wonderful post. I agree with Carolyn madam above that reading the title I felt it was a post on bloggers misusing facebook. Little did I know this was about a (interesting) different topic.
    Recently, I read from the official twitter account @facts that a couple in China divorced each other when they found they both had been cheating each other on a social networking site. The comedy is yet to come.. they both had been dating each other on the social site with names changed. lol

    Though I never faced such issues or requests on social sites but real life issues I would never even want to be a part of one.

    I actually read all the comments, they are so funny (not the comments but the stories they tell 😀 ). But I guess mine is the best funny story, isn’t it? :/

  25. Nikky44

    December 8, 2014 at 10:13 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Do you think the relationships formed through the social media can pose a threat to a spouse or partner? Yes,it can be a threat and dangerous whether it’s cheating and flirting or friendship, but sometimes those relationships can save a life. The friendship I made on social media saved my life by breaking my marriage.

  26. Sylviane Nuccio

    December 8, 2014 at 9:51 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    So sorry for coming so late, but lately, each time I came here it was a nice post, sure, but not written by you, and I missed you 🙂

    Wow, I tell ya, I didn’t know that it was that bad.

    Facebook is notorious for having some strange guys (and maybe women) who solicitate relationships with them as if Facebook was a dating site. It happens to me everyday!

    Of course, I ignore every single one of them, but I can imaging how tempting it might be for some weak souls out there. And we know there are plenty of them in this world.

    I know Facebook has also been the guilty link between old flames reuniting when they were already married to someone else. Dangerous indeed 🙂

    Thanks for this insightful article and for the warning.

  27. Peter Kanayo

    December 9, 2014 at 3:07 am

    Harleena, I am usually very careful about what I post on social media because I heard that even if you delete something especially on Facebook there is a trail somewhere and this post can be used against you in the future. While am not yet married I am careful and your post has reinforce the need to be highly careful.

    Thanks for this awesome reminder of the danger involved in social media cheating

  28. Victor Ome Umukoro

    December 9, 2014 at 3:15 am

    Hi

    One For Sure Is This Article Have Drastically Nailed The Main Fact Why Marriages of Now A Days and Relation DO Break Up Due To What Partners Do On Social Media Network Which is Cheat.

    Thank You Harleena Singh For This Article

  29. Ron Killian

    December 9, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    Love the title of this post and actually I was expecting something different. But still a very interesting read.

    I have not seen it happen first hand. I did have very close friends who’s boyfriend was chatting up his ex-girlfriend through email. They even tried use their own special language. In the end they got busted. Sadly I lose a few good friends in that deal.

  30. Angela McCall

    December 9, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    I couldn’t agree more with you on this post. 🙂

    Everything you said here is true. The thing about this is…when a couple is having a problem, they shouldn’t share it with anybody. Coz the moment the woman share it with another man, and/or vice versa, an affair always happen. A man tries to help her woman friend. Then he starts saying, “What a jerk!!! I wouldn’t do that if I was him.” Or something to that caliber.

    I think when a couple is having a relationship problem, the first person they should run to is the Counselor. And you don’t have to share your problem with the whole world. Just keep it with your Counselor or a Best Friend. Coz once a third party is involved in this chaos, things gets worse. Not better.

    Anyway, thank you so much for sharing this post. I really hope that a lot of men and women will wake up into a REALITY that even if the grass is greener on the other side of the hill, chances are it is *NOT* any greener. A lot of that online affair is just an illusion and they are living in fairy tales. But when they get into the nitty gritty things of life, it is the same thing…they are back where they started.

    Anyhoo, will talk more later. Have a nice week!

    Angela

  31. Profile photo of Navneet Teotia

    Navneet Teotia

    December 10, 2014 at 9:22 am

    Hi Harleena,

    I think social media just acts as a catalysing agent for what is deep down inside the Infidel. It just provides them with the opportunity and their true character shows there. Everyone has that side to themselves,everyone thinks about it at some point of time. Its just about who can resist the temptation more.

    One major reason for ease of cheating on social media is the ease of playing the “game”.While in real life one must have to keep in mind all the factors, in digital world there are no factors to consider except the choice of words. You do not have to worry about expressions, nervousness, etc. It just gets so much easier hence tempting.

    But people tend to forget that they create a permanent mark whenever they do something online. You can’t delete the messages or anything really from other persons account.

    I just think its a good mirror of character (I am intentionally not using the word judge here). We can’t stop it and we shouldn’t. It is reaching its equilibrium lately as it gets more integrated in our lives.

    Regards,
    Navneet

  32. Profile photo of Sivaramakrishnan M

    Sivaramakrishnan M

    December 11, 2014 at 1:33 am

    Hi Harleena,

    When seeing title, I thought it might be the some thing relate social media business. May be SEO, but it is not. Pure life syle thing 🙂

    Although I’m not quite convinced that online relationships equate to physical infidelity, it’s safe to say that social media has created a gray area where there once was none. The question remains, then, as to whether or not couples should avoid temptation by reducing their social media presence, Isn’t ?

    Your info graphics approach of visualizing the things is good and nice to read about the life style post and I also came to know that it will affect the relation ship. Social media is good for people who think and does in the good way. And it obviously it will become deadly tool when it goes to bad person hand.

    Thanks for awakening me from sleep
    Siva

  33. Profile photo of Ikechi Awazie

    Ikechi Awazie

    December 11, 2014 at 7:23 am

    Hi Harleena

    This is really an interesting and I do commend you for writing about such issue.

    It seems that Social Media cheating is on the increase. When I look at the infograph which I do love though, I am amazed by the number of court cases on infidelity but then again such practice occur on facebook.

    I agree that cheating on your partner is bad either online or offline. Most people feel that just because it is online, means that it has no harm but you like you mentioned, you definitely will be caught and will destroy your relationship.

    So the moral of this post is to avoid Social media cheating. Thanks for sharing. ,

  34. angel

    December 12, 2014 at 10:35 pm

    This article doesn’t take into account all aspects of what happens in a relationship. Social media is enabling. Basically, a rough patch that might have been worked through is easier to be missed because one of the partners seek validation or what they’re missing from the relationship via social media, talking to male or female friends of the opposite sex who will most likely be comforting and provide what the person needs. Social media makes it easier to form emotional bonds with others in times of relationship rough patches that otherwise wouldn’t have been there and thus not allow access to other in a time of relative emotional weakness. Yes cheating is cheating, but social media makes it easier to form these bonds where cheating begins a lot of the time. If it didn’t exist, there would be less chance of cheating.

  35. Profile photo of Abrar Mohi Shafee

    Abrar Mohi Shafee

    December 13, 2014 at 11:41 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Its a shocking news though interesting. 🙂

    I didn’t even know how social media could be a reason for divorce.

    I thought it is a powerful social communicator but not even knew it could be so serious.

    I’m even more shocked to hear the number of divorces for social media in usa. It’s really a thing where everyone should be careful enough. 

    Otherwise, who knows what will happen next.

  36. Profile photo of Joy Healey

    Joy Healey

    December 14, 2014 at 6:51 am

    Hi Harleena,

    I know about this at first-hand! I don’t know if you remember “Friends Reunited”…. ? Well my husband “reunited” with an old girl-friend (from about 30 years previously – before we met) told me about it and assured me it was all harmless, then left me within three weeks and married her! Ouch 🙁

    So, yes, it happens!

    Joy

  37. Devya Agarwal

    December 17, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    You have shared really nice topic. I have read many incidents on various news websites about the cheating over social media (specially by husband/wife).

    Social Media is a wonderful thing if you use it with constructive mindset.

    Coming back to relationship between partners/Married-Couple, Trust is a mush have thing to have a healthy relationship. Me and my husband both use social media but we have never thought in this direction.

    Thanks Harleena for sharing it.

    Regards
    Devya

  38. Natalie

    December 31, 2014 at 4:47 am

    Thank you for writing this article. It was extremely validating. I confronted my partner about his flirty activities online and he denied it was anything and said it meant nothing. I disagreed. I closed my profiles because I just could no longer take it any more. Not only watching my own partner flirt and sexualize women, but LOTS OF MEN are doing this. I have seen a few women doing it but not to the same extent. I left because I could no longer stand all the disconnection with having in-person connections. I was getting carried away in my social media life and not having a real live life! I have been off of the two major players and it has been great. I am still on IG and also blog. But I feel safer with those two mediums. Thanks again for your article!

  39. Profile photo of Bo Tipton

    Bo Tipton

    January 16, 2015 at 9:48 pm

    This is a great article. It is not different than when people were in long distance relationships before social media. Then it was done over the phone or through the mail. Social Media has just made it easier for people to contact with others and to fall into the trap of a relationship outside your marriage. As I read the comments the thing I agree with the most is if you would not want you spouse to have you password to your account then you are probably doing something wrong. Quit! My wife has all my passwords and we share accounts in some instances like our AcornHaven Facebook account. In my mind if someone is going to cheat they will find a way and Social Media just makes it easier.

  40. mohd arif

    February 4, 2015 at 1:35 am

    Hi Harleena Mam,

    You have crafted at awesome post at social media cheating. I agree with you. Many times social media cheating creates many problems in peopl’s life specially for those who mostly chat with stranges just for time pass. I loved this awesome infographic.

  41. Saifi Rizvi

    February 10, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Social Media cheating is trendy now a days. 🙁 I don’t believe how people do such type of cheating in the real world ? Are they inspired by movies n all. Every one here needs to be active while adding someone into their friends list. You never know who will betray you, so its my advice to all please be active while adding friends in your list.

  42. Profile photo of Barbara Charles

    Barbara Charles

    February 17, 2015 at 3:27 am

    Hi Harleena,

    All I can say is Wow! Never even thought or worried about such a thing. I am blown away. I’ve vagueing heard of such things happening but it is such a turn off to me when people reach out to on social media and I don’t know who they are that it just doesn’t occur to me that other people get involved in relationships outside their own marriage. Through social media? I don’t even know what to say.

    Anyway, very enlightening. But I have the same questions as some others. Does social media really entail infidelity? I can see where it might lead, but the world is so vast…is it really infidelity?

    Very interesting article and something I guess others have to worry about. Still blown away by it.

    Great read though and very thought provoking.
    Barbara

  43. Profile photo of shubhangi srikanth

    shubhangi srikanth

    February 21, 2015 at 7:06 pm

    Had i read this post a few years ago, I would have never believed that such a thing like digital infidelity could even exist! But after seeing a friend go through this a few months ago, I am not shocked to read this and rather agree with what you have presented here. Like you said, what began as a harmless conversation, gradually grew into an emotional attachment to a person she had never even met. I had a tough time constantly talking to her, and gently guiding out of this toxic relationship.
    Digital infidelity is a reality in today’s world of instant connectivity. virtually we may have a thousand friends to boast of but not a single friend in reality and that’s when people begin to share everything online, seek approval of their actions online and believe the virtual world to be true.

    Lovely article! the infographic was as revealing as it was heartbreaking.

  44. Fahad

    February 26, 2015 at 9:04 pm

    Hi. Its nice article .Overusing Facebook and other social networks could cause relationships to fall apart. One partner may monitor the other’s profile to the point that they become jealous, leading to real-life conflicts.

    Twitter isn’t the first service to be connected to cheating and divorce. In fact, the same researcher came to the same conclusion about Facebook. Indeed, people have been blaming Facebook for their failed relationships for some time now. One man detailed how he found an ex on Facebook and carried on an emotional affair, which resulted in the end of his engagement.

  45. Profile photo of Clearissa Coward

    Clearissa Coward

    April 10, 2015 at 3:21 am

    Love, love this article. I believe emotional/digital cheating is just as bad, if not worse than physical cheating!!! sharing your innermost feelings, dreams, and goals with another develops a connection that you should only have with your significant other. Great article.

  46. martine

    April 11, 2015 at 9:55 pm

    This is a very informative and Useful post and help me out to get all valuable information regarding this topic. Great work




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Read more posts in the category: Love & Relationships




How Social Media Cheating Leads to Relationship Problems

by Harleena Singh time to read: 7 min