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How Social Media Cheating Leads to Relationship Problems

- | 63 Aha! comments | Posted in category: Love & Relationships

Woman having affair online with spouse being unawares
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Infidelity has many forms. Besides the commonly known physical infidelity, you can now be unfaithful emotionally and mentally, while you are online.

Whether you are married, unmarried, or in a relationship, I am sure this post will have some lessons to take away and keep for life.

These are the times when you see and hear many people getting into affairs, on the social networking sites.

Social media cheating is what I would call it, as it’s about people getting intimate emotionally and mentally with someone other than their spouse.

Of course, many a times these virtual relationships take a real form and create a parallel in the real world to the relationships that people have with their spouses.

It’s a fact that the place most people consider safe to cheat on their spouse is the social media. It mostly starts there! Don’t tell me you don’t know about it all! 😉

RELATED READ: Does Online Social Networking Friendship Really Work

But quite often these social media cheaters are caught red-handed. And once that happens, usually the sky falls on their marriage, which is destroyed beyond repair.

Social media and social network are the cause of many relationship issues, divorces, or marriage failures.

So, there are two things to learn – not to use the social media to cheat on your partner and spouse. If you do, then know that it can lead to an irreparable breakup and even divorce.

However, like the knife and the AK47, which aren’t inherently bad, the social media too wasn’t made to break marriages or destroy relationships.

It’s because of their negative use by people that these objects and services get a bad name.

At the same time, you have to understand that social media and social networks have a great influence on people, and you need to learn to use it sensibly and avoid the pitfalls.

“When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom.” ~ John Gray

DO READ: Poor Communication Leads To Relationship Problems

social-media-affair

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Influence of Social Media on Infidelity

I’m sure many of you will agree that cheating on your partner or spouse on the social media is a big temptation.

There could be many reasons as to why couples cheat, but you all know that many do!

I know of people who aren’t happy in their relationships and marriages, and they are online, finding someone else!

They have even asked me at times to connect them with some person. I tried talking them out of it, but that is their personal issue, which one cannot probe further.

While there are some who are unhappy in their relationship and marriage, and cheat their partner and spouse by trying to flirt!

Oh yes they try their best, especially on Facebook, where you make friend’s because someone sends you a friend request, only to realize later what their intention was.

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I am sure many ladies here would agree with me, and perhaps it’s the same with men who are approached by women who seek another!  🙂

In such a case you need to be very clear and curt about what you want, so that they understand and don’t bother you again.

If they do – just remove them from your friend list. But this just goes to prove the point I am trying to make in this post, so read on!

Sometimes you may tend to use the social media or the social networking sites as dating sites.

You may start out rather innocently or even intentionally, and soon one thing leads to another. In this process, your conversation becomes more casual and personal, and even flirty!

You try to find an outlet or someone who can lend you an ear, with whom you can discuss your day-to-day life or dreams, and disappointments, instead of your spouse or partner.

It is called digital infidelity.

“The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” ~ Anthony Robbins

digital-infidelity

Digital Infidelity

The digital world is like your dream world.

You’re in cyberspace where no one knows you, and you can pretend and portray yourself as you like.

There is no one watching you, your moves, the connections you make, and what all you do!

You can tweak your image and control how you’re perceived by people. You can impress people and spell your magic through words and deceptive appearances.

One reason why social media becomes a risk for your marriage and relationship is because you tend to exchange intimate information in your virtual communication without feeling fearful or guilty.

Sometimes people even have romantic or sexual conversations on the social networking sites thinking that a few flirty messages or emails don’t mean they are cheating!

It all seems harmless.

Quite often people do that even in the presence of their spouses but on their Smartphone or laptop screens, without others and their spouse getting to know of it.

But when you are going through a rough patch in your existing relationship, these back burners or online friends become your temptations and might even lead you to commit adultery.

With the adoption of social media by the masses, the chances are that you might meet your ex-flame online, or someone you had a crush on in your past.

You are then tempted to live a life that you couldn’t live earlier, and continue a digital relationship with someone whom you couldn’t have a real one with in your past.

Isn’t this purely cheating on your spouse or partner and your recent marriage or relationship?

But whether real or virtual, any relationship needs your involvement, takes your time, and apparently affects the other aspects of life.

Your partner or spouse may notice all that you are up to and consider that as cheating.

He or she may consider infidelity as sharing your physical, mental, and emotional intimacy with some other.

Here’s an infographic that shows how social media has proved to be a decisive factor in the increasing divorces.

Do not use the facts presented in this infographic to find smarter ways to cheat on your spouse.

Instead, use them to learn to control your usage of social media and define your limits so you don’t hurt your marriage through it.

There are many other reasons why people have affairs and they are discussed in this post “7 Top Signs That Your Spouse Might Be Having An Affair”, which also tells you about the signs indicating that your spouse is having an affair.

“When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself.” ~ Deepak Chopra

Social Media Cheating, Infidelity, and Divorce

social-media-cheating-infographic

Source: TotalDivorce

Social media cheating isn’t only the story of a few Americans, just because it occurs there the most.

Instead, it is becoming a trend all over the world now including in places like India, Nigeria, United Kingdom, Australia, and many other countries.

“Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person.” ~ Wayne Dyer

How to Avoid Divorce and Relationship Issues Due to Social Networking Activities

People are getting divorced, separated, and distanced by using the social media and networks, which were meant to connect people and build relationships.

It is evident that Facebook is the leader of the pack of social networking sites. It is being used the most by lawyers, as proof in the courts to prove infidelity and win the case.

This is probably a reminder that you need to act responsibly on the social media and social networking sites. Here are a few tips:

  • Every update and action performed on these sites should be inspected from all perspectives.
  • Remember that anything can hurt you, your loved ones and others, or could even be used against you.
  • It’s good to be yourself and not pretend to be someone else, not only offline but online as well.
  • If you find yourself flirting on social media and other networking sites, especially Facebook, stop yourself.
  • Realize – this is a sign that your personal relationship with your partner or spouse needs attention and revival.
  • If you are having problems then work on making your relationship better rather than spending time seeking another!

MUST READ: How to Become Best Friends with Your Spouse

Cheating is a risky behavior that mostly likely will produce negative results.

Whatever be the cause that leads to it, know that cheating can become addictive and a form of repeated behavior.

That’s why people say a cheater will always be a cheater because cheating can also run in your genes. So, be aware and remain alert!

It’s time that you understand and take control of yourself.

Don’t let your desires and needs of sexual pleasures drive you to a deadly situation of a disastrous marriage or severe relationship issues.

Be responsible. Be in control. Be wise.

Social media is a wonderful tool; don’t use it to cheat on your spouse.

Instead, resolve your relationship problems, and if you cannot, then look for a counselor and turn your relationship with your partner or spouse into a healthy one.

Having said that all, I confess that I like the social media and the social networking sites because I only use it for professional purposes. Even if it’s for personal purposes at times, I keep it limited and in control. 🙂

“Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.” ~ Unknown

Over to You –

Have you come across any social media cheating case that destroyed someone’s marriage or even relationship? What precautions do you take while interacting on the social networking sites? Do you think the relationships formed through the social media can pose a threat to a spouse or partner? Share in the comments.

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos, Don Hankins

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63 Comments - Read and share thoughts

  1. martine

    April 11, 2015 at 9:55 pm

    This is a very informative and Useful post and help me out to get all valuable information regarding this topic. Great work

  2. Clearissa Coward

    April 10, 2015 at 3:21 am

    Love, love this article. I believe emotional/digital cheating is just as bad, if not worse than physical cheating!!! sharing your innermost feelings, dreams, and goals with another develops a connection that you should only have with your significant other. Great article.

  3. Fahad

    February 26, 2015 at 9:04 pm

    Hi. Its nice article .Overusing Facebook and other social networks could cause relationships to fall apart. One partner may monitor the other’s profile to the point that they become jealous, leading to real-life conflicts.

    Twitter isn’t the first service to be connected to cheating and divorce. In fact, the same researcher came to the same conclusion about Facebook. Indeed, people have been blaming Facebook for their failed relationships for some time now. One man detailed how he found an ex on Facebook and carried on an emotional affair, which resulted in the end of his engagement.

  4. shubhangi srikanth

    February 21, 2015 at 7:06 pm

    Had i read this post a few years ago, I would have never believed that such a thing like digital infidelity could even exist! But after seeing a friend go through this a few months ago, I am not shocked to read this and rather agree with what you have presented here. Like you said, what began as a harmless conversation, gradually grew into an emotional attachment to a person she had never even met. I had a tough time constantly talking to her, and gently guiding out of this toxic relationship.
    Digital infidelity is a reality in today’s world of instant connectivity. virtually we may have a thousand friends to boast of but not a single friend in reality and that’s when people begin to share everything online, seek approval of their actions online and believe the virtual world to be true.

    Lovely article! the infographic was as revealing as it was heartbreaking.

  5. Barbara Charles

    February 17, 2015 at 3:27 am

    Hi Harleena,

    All I can say is Wow! Never even thought or worried about such a thing. I am blown away. I’ve vagueing heard of such things happening but it is such a turn off to me when people reach out to on social media and I don’t know who they are that it just doesn’t occur to me that other people get involved in relationships outside their own marriage. Through social media? I don’t even know what to say.

    Anyway, very enlightening. But I have the same questions as some others. Does social media really entail infidelity? I can see where it might lead, but the world is so vast…is it really infidelity?

    Very interesting article and something I guess others have to worry about. Still blown away by it.

    Great read though and very thought provoking.
    Barbara

  6. Saifi Rizvi

    February 10, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Social Media cheating is trendy now a days. 🙁 I don’t believe how people do such type of cheating in the real world ? Are they inspired by movies n all. Every one here needs to be active while adding someone into their friends list. You never know who will betray you, so its my advice to all please be active while adding friends in your list.

  7. mohd arif

    February 4, 2015 at 1:35 am

    Hi Harleena Mam,

    You have crafted at awesome post at social media cheating. I agree with you. Many times social media cheating creates many problems in peopl’s life specially for those who mostly chat with stranges just for time pass. I loved this awesome infographic.

  8. Bo Tipton

    January 16, 2015 at 9:48 pm

    This is a great article. It is not different than when people were in long distance relationships before social media. Then it was done over the phone or through the mail. Social Media has just made it easier for people to contact with others and to fall into the trap of a relationship outside your marriage. As I read the comments the thing I agree with the most is if you would not want you spouse to have you password to your account then you are probably doing something wrong. Quit! My wife has all my passwords and we share accounts in some instances like our AcornHaven Facebook account. In my mind if someone is going to cheat they will find a way and Social Media just makes it easier.

  9. Natalie

    December 31, 2014 at 4:47 am

    Thank you for writing this article. It was extremely validating. I confronted my partner about his flirty activities online and he denied it was anything and said it meant nothing. I disagreed. I closed my profiles because I just could no longer take it any more. Not only watching my own partner flirt and sexualize women, but LOTS OF MEN are doing this. I have seen a few women doing it but not to the same extent. I left because I could no longer stand all the disconnection with having in-person connections. I was getting carried away in my social media life and not having a real live life! I have been off of the two major players and it has been great. I am still on IG and also blog. But I feel safer with those two mediums. Thanks again for your article!

  10. Devya Agarwal

    December 17, 2014 at 12:06 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    You have shared really nice topic. I have read many incidents on various news websites about the cheating over social media (specially by husband/wife).

    Social Media is a wonderful thing if you use it with constructive mindset.

    Coming back to relationship between partners/Married-Couple, Trust is a mush have thing to have a healthy relationship. Me and my husband both use social media but we have never thought in this direction.

    Thanks Harleena for sharing it.

    Regards
    Devya

  11. Joy Healey

    December 14, 2014 at 6:51 am

    Hi Harleena,

    I know about this at first-hand! I don’t know if you remember “Friends Reunited”…. ? Well my husband “reunited” with an old girl-friend (from about 30 years previously – before we met) told me about it and assured me it was all harmless, then left me within three weeks and married her! Ouch 🙁

    So, yes, it happens!

    Joy

  12. Abrar Mohi Shafee

    December 13, 2014 at 11:41 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Its a shocking news though interesting. 🙂

    I didn’t even know how social media could be a reason for divorce.

    I thought it is a powerful social communicator but not even knew it could be so serious.

    I’m even more shocked to hear the number of divorces for social media in usa. It’s really a thing where everyone should be careful enough. 

    Otherwise, who knows what will happen next.

  13. angel

    December 12, 2014 at 10:35 pm

    This article doesn’t take into account all aspects of what happens in a relationship. Social media is enabling. Basically, a rough patch that might have been worked through is easier to be missed because one of the partners seek validation or what they’re missing from the relationship via social media, talking to male or female friends of the opposite sex who will most likely be comforting and provide what the person needs. Social media makes it easier to form emotional bonds with others in times of relationship rough patches that otherwise wouldn’t have been there and thus not allow access to other in a time of relative emotional weakness. Yes cheating is cheating, but social media makes it easier to form these bonds where cheating begins a lot of the time. If it didn’t exist, there would be less chance of cheating.

  14. Ikechi Awazie

    December 11, 2014 at 7:23 am

    Hi Harleena

    This is really an interesting and I do commend you for writing about such issue.

    It seems that Social Media cheating is on the increase. When I look at the infograph which I do love though, I am amazed by the number of court cases on infidelity but then again such practice occur on facebook.

    I agree that cheating on your partner is bad either online or offline. Most people feel that just because it is online, means that it has no harm but you like you mentioned, you definitely will be caught and will destroy your relationship.

    So the moral of this post is to avoid Social media cheating. Thanks for sharing. ,

  15. Sivaramakrishnan M

    December 11, 2014 at 1:33 am

    Hi Harleena,

    When seeing title, I thought it might be the some thing relate social media business. May be SEO, but it is not. Pure life syle thing 🙂

    Although I’m not quite convinced that online relationships equate to physical infidelity, it’s safe to say that social media has created a gray area where there once was none. The question remains, then, as to whether or not couples should avoid temptation by reducing their social media presence, Isn’t ?

    Your info graphics approach of visualizing the things is good and nice to read about the life style post and I also came to know that it will affect the relation ship. Social media is good for people who think and does in the good way. And it obviously it will become deadly tool when it goes to bad person hand.

    Thanks for awakening me from sleep
    Siva

  16. Navneet Teotia

    December 10, 2014 at 9:22 am

    Hi Harleena,

    I think social media just acts as a catalysing agent for what is deep down inside the Infidel. It just provides them with the opportunity and their true character shows there. Everyone has that side to themselves,everyone thinks about it at some point of time. Its just about who can resist the temptation more.

    One major reason for ease of cheating on social media is the ease of playing the “game”.While in real life one must have to keep in mind all the factors, in digital world there are no factors to consider except the choice of words. You do not have to worry about expressions, nervousness, etc. It just gets so much easier hence tempting.

    But people tend to forget that they create a permanent mark whenever they do something online. You can’t delete the messages or anything really from other persons account.

    I just think its a good mirror of character (I am intentionally not using the word judge here). We can’t stop it and we shouldn’t. It is reaching its equilibrium lately as it gets more integrated in our lives.

    Regards,
    Navneet

  17. Angela McCall

    December 9, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    I couldn’t agree more with you on this post. 🙂

    Everything you said here is true. The thing about this is…when a couple is having a problem, they shouldn’t share it with anybody. Coz the moment the woman share it with another man, and/or vice versa, an affair always happen. A man tries to help her woman friend. Then he starts saying, “What a jerk!!! I wouldn’t do that if I was him.” Or something to that caliber.

    I think when a couple is having a relationship problem, the first person they should run to is the Counselor. And you don’t have to share your problem with the whole world. Just keep it with your Counselor or a Best Friend. Coz once a third party is involved in this chaos, things gets worse. Not better.

    Anyway, thank you so much for sharing this post. I really hope that a lot of men and women will wake up into a REALITY that even if the grass is greener on the other side of the hill, chances are it is *NOT* any greener. A lot of that online affair is just an illusion and they are living in fairy tales. But when they get into the nitty gritty things of life, it is the same thing…they are back where they started.

    Anyhoo, will talk more later. Have a nice week!

    Angela

  18. Ron Killian

    December 9, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    Love the title of this post and actually I was expecting something different. But still a very interesting read.

    I have not seen it happen first hand. I did have very close friends who’s boyfriend was chatting up his ex-girlfriend through email. They even tried use their own special language. In the end they got busted. Sadly I lose a few good friends in that deal.

  19. Victor Ome Umukoro

    December 9, 2014 at 3:15 am

    Hi

    One For Sure Is This Article Have Drastically Nailed The Main Fact Why Marriages of Now A Days and Relation DO Break Up Due To What Partners Do On Social Media Network Which is Cheat.

    Thank You Harleena Singh For This Article

  20. Peter Kanayo

    December 9, 2014 at 3:07 am

    Harleena, I am usually very careful about what I post on social media because I heard that even if you delete something especially on Facebook there is a trail somewhere and this post can be used against you in the future. While am not yet married I am careful and your post has reinforce the need to be highly careful.

    Thanks for this awesome reminder of the danger involved in social media cheating




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How Social Media Cheating Leads to Relationship Problems

by Harleena Singh time to read: 7 min