“I love you.”
You used to fear that you’d never hear those sweet words.
That you’d never meet your soul mate.
And that if you did, you’d never hold onto them.
And now you are in a relationship; you still stress over the disagreements, the differences of opinion, the difficult times.
When all you’re trying to do is stay together.
When all you want is a lifetime of loving and being loved.
I too used to worry myself crazy that love would never find me. And that it would swiftly walk out if it did ever stumble into my world. But after 28 years with my forever partner, I’ve laid those fears to rest.
Together we’ve built a rock-solid relationship that our hearts love.
Which is why I want to share the secret with you. Because you too can build a forever relationship, whether you are still finding love or trying to hang on to it.
5 Rock-Solid Relationship Rules
You just have to follow these five simple rules to secure your own rock solid relationship.
“The heart wants what it wants – there’s no logic to these things.” – Woody Allen
1. Don’t Think
You see, when you’re surrendering your heart to another, you’re acting 100% in tune with your raw emotions. There’s not an ounce of reason or logic, just every fiber of your being connecting one on one with the one you love.
But then you go and try and build a relationship your heart and head will love.
You try to find logical reasons as to why your partner did or said something. Why they didn’t do or say something.
Listen, your brain doesn’t need to get involved.
Because it will over-think everything.
And then you will start worrying, fearing and imagining every possible but unlikely scenario under the sun…
- What did she mean by that?
- What made him do that?
- What if she stops loving me?
- What if he finds someone else?
- What ..?
Endlessly cycling through the same worries and fears.
And yes, sometimes in relationships these things happen. But the reality is, by constantly thinking about it, many people unconsciously make these things happen.
“I really believe in the philosophy that you create your own universe.” – Jim Carrey
Your thoughts have the power to create your own reality. Or to put it another way, what you constantly think (and worry) about, ends up coming true because how you think leads directly to how you act.
Now your heart only has two simple rules to keep you happy and alive:
- ‘don’t clog me up with too much saturated’
- ‘don’t interfere with me creating a loving relationship.’
So leave your head out of the equation and use your heart to create your own universe of love.
“What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.” – Brené Brown
2. Don’t Hide
Building a relationship strong enough to ride out life’s storms takes both partners being totally open with each other. Totally vulnerable.
And that’s a scary thought.
You’ll tell yourself that it’s too risky, too scary to be totally open. That if let your barriers down and you open up totally to your partner, you could get hurt if things were to go wrong later on.
And that’s exactly why you have to be open with each other from the beginning. Otherwise, things will go wrong later on. Relationships thrive on trust, and it’s hard to trust someone who doesn’t confide in you.
Always putting your genuine thoughts and emotions out there will ensure there are no misunderstandings, no assumptions, never any doubts. Sharing all your feelings and your anxieties will allow your partner to understand the real you, the inner you that the rest of the world doesn’t see.
Talk through your fears and frustrations as well as your dreams and goals. Not only will it build trust and understanding, but it will also build the perfect platform for you to discover common ground on which to design a fulfilling life together.
Don’t hide away your thoughts and feelings, wear your heart on your sleeve. Your partner will be able to see (and hear) it better there.
So make sure your fear of being vulnerable doesn’t scupper this amazing thing called love.
“You give loyalty; you‘ll get it back. You give love; you‘ll get it back.” – Tommy Lasorda
3. Don’t Falter
I don’t believe love is blind; that’s just cliché nonsense.
Loyalty, however, oh boy, that wears a blindfold blacker than any knife thrower ever dared put on.
Partners who build a rock solid relationship have unshakable loyalty. Mark and I have got each other’s backs no matter what happens. Period.
You see, it’s easy to tell someone you love them. Most of the time, it’s easy to show that you love them as well. If you want to build a rock-solid relationship, however, you need to be prepared to tell and show them when it isn’t easy.
It’s the times when the whole world seems to be trying to tear you apart that you need to dig deep and stay loyal.
And remember, we’re not talking about a relationship that isn’t sound to start with. We’re talking about one where two people are deeply in love with each other and are committed to staying together.
Rock solid relationships work on giving each other the ultimate security – the promise of always staying loyal no matter what – and never doubting your partner will show the same loyalty back.
If the whole world tells you to doubt your partner, tell the world where to get off. Immediately. And don’t be polite!
So defend your relationship with the impregnable armor that loyalty gives.
“Love is a game that two can play and both win.” – Eva Gabor
4. Don’t Compete
Even long standing relationships can fail if partners are forever competing in the relationship. Fighting for attention, recognition or even dominance are all serious challenges to the foundations of love.
Partners who see each other as competitors, or opponents rather than two equal parts of a whole risk their relationship and their happiness.
Conflict is inevitable at some time; you’re human after all. However, letting a small argument or disagreement spiral out of control into something larger and more damaging is not the way to a loving, lasting relationship.
Ask yourself, do you want to be ‘right’ more than you want harmony? Being ‘right’ really isn’t so important. And usually, both partners are as ‘right’ as each other. It’s mostly a matter of opinion or perspective.
So accept that you don’t need to be right. Accept that your version of ‘right’ may be wrong anyway. If you do this, your relationship will thrive.
You can still believe in your opinion and clear a space for your partner’s views to flourish. If you have different views, respect that your partner isn’t being stubborn or inconsiderate.
Instead, recognize that they are voicing an opinion that is genuine to them. By understanding this and still paying attention to your needs, you can free up enough loving creativity to get you both what you need.
…And if you can see that the stage of love is wide enough for you to stand side by side, you can work through any anxiety over feeling less significant or needing to be recognized more.
So build a relationship of two beautiful halves. Two equal, but different shaped halves that snugly fill each other’s gaps.
“If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right.” – Bob Basso
5. Don’t Forget
Your partner’s way too busy. You’re way too busy, for sure. Life’s got so overfilled with earning enough, doing enough and being enough that it’s amazing there’s any time left for love!
But to build a forever loving relationship, there’s just one essential element you must find time for – and that element is fun.
Love doesn’t flourish on earnest romance alone. Remember to build fun into every day. It’s the world’s best stress-buster, temper-soother and memory-maker. Couples that laugh together stay together
So swap running over the frustrations or disappointments of your day for laughing and playing together to keep your relationship healthy forever.
“Love is not only something you feel; it is something you do.”– Tom Robbins
Build A Rock-Solid Relationship
Love needn’t be a mystery.
It isn’t always an elusive, complicated beast. It can actually be a tangible way of life with just a few, clear rules.
A forever loving relationship can be yours. Your heart can be held securely by another for the rest of time.
Imagine never having to regret losing the love of your life because you got it wrong or misunderstood how love works.
Picture never having to worry that love isn’t on the cards for you.
Dream of loving and being loved forever.
Realize that you have the power to make your dream your absolute reality.
Here’s to your happy heart…
Over To You –
Are you trying to build a rock solid relationship? What are the rules you’ve found to be most helpful? Please share your tips and thoughts in the comments below.
Posted on: July 25th, 2016