How To Better A Relationship With Anyone

- | 62 Aha! comments | Posted in category: Love & Relationships

Poster of how to have a better relationship featuring a loving couple

Hey, Valentine’s Day is here, and it is the perfect occasion to express love and revive your relationships!

Love is in the air, so how could I not write about relationships 🙂

Do you also want to improve relations with your known or loved ones?

I’m not only talking about the relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

It could be the kinship with any of your family members, professional association with colleagues, or even with friends.

All these relationships often face challenges and undergo disturbing phases – it happens with almost everybody.

However, you can always resolve the issues and better your relationship.

Even if you do not have any relationship issues, you can always develop your relationship and take it to the next level.

To make that happen, you need to understand the basics of a relationship.

You should also know the ingredients and the perfect recipe for a perfect relationship to make it last forever.

So, let’s cook the Valentine’s Day love meal today to sweeten your relationships. 🙂

“Eighty percent of life’s satisfaction comes from meaningful relationships,” ~ Brian Tracy

The Components Of A Good Relationship

Building a relationship is no rocket science. Every human being learns to create a good relationship with experience, knowledge, and time.

Dictionary may define a relationship as the way in which two or more people or things are connected or the state of being connected.

However, relationships are more than mere connections.

A relationship is a system of mutual commitment that is based on collaboration and reciprocation among the connected people.

This connection depends on the involved people, their subjective and objective thoughts and behaviors.

Here are some points that are regarded as the fundamentals of a good relationship. I’ve mentioned some of these in my earlier posts, but they deserve a mention here too.

“We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics,” ~ Joyce Meyer


Yes, communication tops the elements of a relationship – it is the key to better your relationship.

The ship of your relations will sink if there’s no communication between you and your partner, colleague, friend, spouse, or relative.

Communication is like oxygen for a relationship. What will happen if you stop breathing?

You will suffocate, and then probably die!

This is what happens to a relationship when there is no communication between the people involved in it.

If you are wondering how to better a relationship, first check if the communication channels are open.

Communication can be symbolic, non-verbal, and verbal. It can be indirect or direct, offline or online.

However, the most effect form is the verbal face-to-face communication if the members are capable of engaging in this way.

For more information, read this post: Poor Communication Leads To Relationship Problems

“Be honest, brutally honest. That is what’s going to maintain relationships.” ~ Lauryn Hill


It is not necessary that you become friend’s with only friends.

In fact, even for a marriage to work, the spouses need to be friends with each other. Friendship is the thriving ground where love blooms.

Best friends are generally honest and open. They trust one another and share each other’s secrets.

As friends, you are always equal and ready to help. You stand for each other without expecting anything in return.

To be friends, you need to spend more time with each other. Doing this will increase the chance of bettering your relationship.

So, are you planning relationship revival recreation this Valentine’s Day and ahead!

Make your spouse your best friend if you are married, and see your issues fly away. 🙂

Read more on how to become best friends with your spouse.

“Best relationship: Talk like best friends, play like children, argue like husband and wife, protect each other like brother and sister.” ~ Unknown


This may sound a bit old-fashioned or off track. However, the truth is everybody expects and needs respect.

Respect is the acknowledgment of the person as a whole. Mutual respect is the sign of accepting each other, including the differences.

The relationships where people are not respected often run into trouble.

Disrespect hurts your ego and self-esteem. This is the most basic reciprocation you expect in any relationship.

In fact, you’d love to be with someone who respects you, wouldn’t you?

If respect is coupled with love, then you have a strong bonded relationship that keeps bettering itself with time.

Know more ways to better a relationship from this post: 10 Ways to Improve Relationships with Kindness.

“The bonds that link your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.” ~ Richard Bach


Understanding is being in agreement. It is the expression of support and sympathy for the other person.

That is how you can relate better to another person and create a relationship.

Understanding helps you increase your tolerance levels. It makes you tolerant of the individual differences in terms of culture, tradition, lifestyle, and beliefs.

Individuals may differ in their thoughts and perspectives.  Understanding is the bridge they can develop to cover up the differences.

The process of understanding also develops trust between the individuals. Trust will enable you to work as a team.

So, what are you doing to create and celebrate the understanding with your known and loved ones? Have you planned something for this Valentine Day? 🙂

“We have to recognize that there cannot be relationships unless there is a commitment, unless there is loyalty unless there is love, patience, persistence.” ~ Cornel West


Finally, it is love that cements the bond of your relationship. Love is what we generally associate with Valentine’s Day.

Love is actually a kind and benevolent positive energy that is present in all forms of good relationships.

So, love is not only between lovers and spouses. You can also celebrate this Valentine’s Day with your family. Read this post to know how. 🙂

However, if you want to understand the love between two people, then you should read this post: Understanding True Love between Two People.

But you know what; everybody is a campaigner of love. Even you are a love teacher and use it in all your dealings with people!

If you do not understand what I am talking about, read this post – Are You a Love Teacher?

You’ll certainly enjoy that post, as you all can relate to it.

Now, how can you have a better relationship if you are not a love teacher or do not employ love in your interpersonal dealings?

“Love is what is left in a relationship after all the selfishness is taken out.” ~ Nick Richardson

Recapping the essential ingredients or components of a good relationship are communication, friendship, respect, understanding, and love.

Friends and lovers in good relationship

Why Does A Relationship Go Bad

You do not have to make any guesses here.

The most basic reasons why people have relationship problems are –

  • Lack of communication
  • Lack of friendship
  • Lack of respect
  • Lack of understanding
  • Lack of love

It could be all of these factors, or just one or some of them together.

These shortcomings in a relationship often give rise to ego problems, hatred for each other, feelings of revenge, lack of trust, and negative presumptions, etc.

If these issues are left unattended, they aggravate with time and create bitterness in relationships. People become skeptical of each other. They develop prejudices and negative stereotypes.

Most of the relationship problems are caused because of misunderstandings.

People tend to directly or indirectly – knowingly or unknowingly hurt each other.

They do not want to accept their fault or be the first one to mend the relationship.

You need to transform such a bitter relationship into a better relationship.

This is doable, provided the respective parties involved take conscious, constructive, and corrective actions.

Use this Valentine’s Day to fill your relationship with love, and spice it up with the remaining ingredients of a good relationship, as we discussed above. 🙂

“You do not develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” ~ Epicurus

Must read: 9 Things You Should Do For a Happy Relationship

30 Ways To Better Your Relationship

Knowing the basics of a good relationship helps us learn how to better our relationships.

There are many things that you can do in many ways to improve your relationship.

I’ll mention them in points; however, this list is not comprehensive. You can always add more to it. For now, this is what you need to do to get started and have a better relationship with anyone.

Understand Yourself

It starts with you. Remember, when you are happy and content with yourself, you are likely to be positive in your thoughts, actions, and relationships. So, you need to –

1. Know yourself

2. Be yourself

3. Have self-confidence and self-esteem

4. Be honest

5. Be giving

This list of personal development can be endless. How can I not mention that you need to love yourself too! Know that you are beautiful and an embodiment of love. 🙂

“To become a better you, you must be positive towards yourself, develop better relationships, embrace the place where you are.” ~ Joel Osteen

Express Yourself

A relationship is also about knowing the other person and doing things for them.

You need to demonstrate your positive feelings and intentions and take the initiative to better your relationship.

6. Know the other person

7. Appreciate and compliment

8. Express gratitude

9. Do Small, random acts of kindness

10. Speak sweet, and smile often

“You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.” ~ Barbara de Angelis

Resolve Issues

You should never ignore the problem you face in your relationship.

Address the old issues, clear them out, and be positive.

11. Discuss problems

12. Listen more

13. Apologize if needed

14. Forget and forgive – let it go

15. Don’t keep repeating the blames or nag

“Kindness in words creates confidence.  Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.  Kindness in giving creates love.” ~ Lao Tzu

Strengthen Bond

Once your relationship is repaired, do these to make sure the problems do not reoccur.

16. Keep in touch

17. Nurture your relationship

18. Show mutual respect

19. Reciprocate

20. Fulfill your promises or commitments

“A healthy relationship is built on unwavering trust,” ~ Beau Mirchoff

Maintain Relationship

You need to keep working on your relationship. Keep making the efforts to push it further into the safe zone.

21. Share and care for each other

22. Celebrate each other

23. Identify each other’s relationship needs

24. Cherish moments – past and present

25. Become a trustworthy teammate

Relationship is like an investment, and you can always keep working to better it. The more time and effort you invest in your relationship, the better and stronger it becomes.

“The value of a relationship is in direct proportion to the time that you invest in the relationship.” ~ Brian Tracy

Value Relationships

Value people. Give them your best and gel with them!

26. Engage in entertainment and outings

27. Volunteer together for a social cause

28. Develop people skills and use them

29. Always have open communication

30. Welcome diversity and manage the relationship boundaries

Recapping, you can improve your relationship by knowing yourself, changing and improving yourself, knowing the other person, and expressing your good feelings and intentions.

You also clear the air of conflict if any, apologize if needed, take all required steps to repair proactively and maintain the relationship.

Celebrate your relationship and fill it with happy moments, be there for each other, and take part in confidence and trust building activities.

“In a relationship each person should support the other; they should lift each other up.” ~ Taylor Swift

Happy Valentine Day card

I am sure you’ve planned your Valentine’s Day to do just that and better your relationships, haven’t you?

Well, I am certainly taking a few hours off to be with my Valentine!! How about you? 🙂

Related Read: 10 Tips For Healthy Relationships in Life

This post makes me think about the Aha!NOW Blog Community (ABC). Relationships are at the core of the community activities here.

We encourage all members to introduce themselves, make friends, reciprocate, and develop relationships.

The members share and care, help and support each other, create trust and bond, celebrate the joys and success of each other.

This is the perfect example of how you better your relationships.

Know more about the ABC here or register here to experience quality relationship building.

“If civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationships – the ability of all peoples, of all kinds, to live together, in the same world at peace.” ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Wishing ALL of you a very Happy Valentine’s Day!

Over To You –

What do you do to better your relationships? Which is the most important component of a relationship? What is your Valentine Day resolution for improving relationships? Share in the comments.

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos

Show Comments

62 Comments - Read and share thoughts

  1. Anna

    2016-06-13 at 9:37 pm

    Really valuable article.. Thanks for sharing this great article.. In today’s world, it’s always about “me,me , me , me.” This is why our relationships with friends, family and romantic partners are weak. You can’t connect with other people if you’re thinking about yourself all the time!

  2. Danny Ray

    2015-12-16 at 10:09 pm

    My wife is from Poland and I am American so we are constantly working on communication. It can be frustrating at times as she mistakes phrases I use and often takes them for the incorrect meaning. With that said, our love and friendship is our foundation and it is extremely solid! Great post!!

  3. Mark Addison

    2015-04-27 at 11:57 am

    Wow. This is a great post. This post will of course help to to keep my relationship better.I am agree with your all of points. And yes, Love is important to keep the relationship better, It help us to keep relationship better than anything else. I hope i will follow all of your tips to make my relation more better.

  4. Bibek

    2015-03-13 at 11:07 pm

    Well I too had some rough moments with my Dad when i Didn’t as good in my studies but after school I felt like my Dad is the best Dad in this whole world And this makes me really emotional after reading that respect part of your blog nice work done I must say…!!!
    Thanx for the post ..!!

  5. Lukovski Zdravko

    2015-03-12 at 3:33 pm

    Now that is the most comprehensive article on relationships I’ve ever read. I love the components for a successful relationship I’d just add few more to the list: empathy, care and compassion. They are very important, at least in my personal relationship they play a huge role.

    I also have to say that I love all the quotes intelligently included where they should be.

    10/10 in total. Truly inspiring!

  6. Maxwell Ivey

    2015-03-12 at 12:54 am

    hi harleena; what a great post. sorry i didn’t read it sooner. i spend more time with online friends than with people in person. that is outside my family. but i will take this post as an invitation to evaluate myself and my current relationships and see if i am truly being a good friend. take care, max

  7. Nisha Pandey

    2015-03-04 at 10:24 pm

    Hi Harleena Mam,

    first of all thanks ton for such a wonderful article.

    Honestly relationships are the most important things in life. But in today’s world where professional and peer pressure is so high we tend to go away from the things that should be our closest.

    On the point of communication and respect, I cannot agree more with you. Most often relationships fail because of the lack of these two aspects. Thanks again for sharing the amazing tips.

    Stay loved 🙂

    Enjoy your day ahead!

  8. Sayantan Mahato

    2015-03-04 at 12:21 pm

    Hello Harleena Ma’m,

    Thanks for this helpful post. I maybe late commenting on the post, but must say it helped me a lot on understanding the key elements of a healthy relationship. Relationship is not only the gf-bf thing, it is more than that.

    I would say that trust is one of the most important aspect of relationships, relationships are based on the roots of trust.


  9. Agrawal Apoorv

    2015-02-25 at 9:57 am

    Do I need to comment in this post which has said all the things that i was need but now its late for me but though enjoyed reading some of my thoughts were to the point like ma’am mentioned while some were clashing. Had I been known about this before I would have surely had cherished the person I love and not just let her go and feel sad and depressed on holding the things that doesn’t matter now. 🙁

  10. Sara Stein

    2015-02-23 at 6:17 am

    There’s also the little spoken about thing that can haunt a long term friendship or relationship. Jealousy. If you suddenly find yourself unable to be happy for the person you claim to love, it’s not really your love for them that’s faulty, but your own love for yourself. When you love someone, you want their happiness as much as you want your own, and are the first one to clap and beam at their successes. (Even at the cost of your own.) There’s a fine line between being selfish and be selfless.

  11. mjalex

    2015-02-22 at 5:48 pm

    I loved the post! It serves as a great outline, and rubric, for what a relationship should contain and can be.
    The only aspect of love I’d add on there is trust!
    I’ve actually talked extensively on that topic here: romancereveal(dot)com/the-importance-of-trust-in-a-relationship
    I just find that without it, couples will have anxiety and reservation, which could greatly come between what you mention above!
    Thank you for this insight! 🙂

  12. Carolyn Nicander Mohr

    2015-02-22 at 3:52 am

    Hi Harleena, So sorry to be late but I’m here now! 2014 was a banner year for divorces for my friends. In some cases I saw it coming, in others I was blindsided. The common thread of those relationships was a spouse complaining about the other person to either me or my husband without saying anything good about them. Sometimes it was the complainer, sometimes it was the person who was complained about who filed for divorce.

    (I’m not saying that is a symptom in all divorces but it certainly was with my friends last year!)

    Your advice on relationships is simply spot on. If we treasure our partners, friends and companions, they will not only feel good about themselves, they will feel good about you! As you so wisely put at the top, Harleena, we have to focus on ourselves first. If we’re not feeling good about ourselves, we’re more likely to complain about others.

    But as you said in a previous article, we should remember what drew us to that person in the first place. What did we celebrate in the beginning of the relationship? Remember how we felt as if were the luckiest person in the world to have met that person?

    Once we remember that, celebrating the other person will be easier. If we can give our friends and loved ones a compliment a day, we can lift them up and lift ourselves up too.

    I will be sharing this widely, Harleena, in the hopes that 2015 will be the year of no divorces for my friends!

  13. Harleena Singh

    2015-02-20 at 1:05 pm

    Hi Phil,

    Glad you liked it, and yes, certainly apt for Valentine, and this month of love 🙂

    I hope you come back to read these tips as and when you find time. Though the tips are small, they’re certainly worth implementing, isn’t it?

    Thanks for stopping by, and your kind wishes too 🙂

  14. Sneha

    2015-02-19 at 9:40 pm

    🙂 your opinions sounds me n my ***** to change the attitude.. i will surely share this.. 🙂 thank yew mam for your wonderful article.. truly helpful

  15. Neamat Tawadrous

    2015-02-19 at 3:12 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Well written post and sure have all the elements that helps build or improve a relationship. You did a great job without leaving anything out.

    I think communication is the key element in any relationships. There could be love, respect and trust but without the communication element is hard to improve on any relationship.

    Thanks Harleena for sharing such a great recipe to better any relationship. Happy belated Valentine’s day!!

    Be Blessed,


  16. Arpit Roy

    2015-02-18 at 8:50 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    What a lovely post!

    Wanted to read this post since a while now. Finally got here 🙂

    Communication is the most important component of a good relationship. Lack of communication leaves a lot of unsaid things in the heart and this can slowly build up into something nasty. It is really important to communicate with your loved ones. I feel that most of us don’t manage our personal and professional lives well, which is one of the many reasons for in-effective communication.

    Friendship and respect are also very important factors for a good relationship. It takes years to earn someone’s respect and just a second to destroy it. We should never do or say things that are disrespectful. Just think how would we feel if someone disrespected us?

    I really enjoyed reading the article Harleena. Thanks for this amazing share 🙂

  17. Dr. Diana Hardy

    2015-02-18 at 3:08 pm

    “men and women can’t be friends” It’s a common question that’s been asked many times, some people say “no”, others say “yes” and have recount their own experiences of their opposite sex best friendship.

  18. Sonam Gupta

    2015-02-17 at 5:24 pm


    This is very interesting post . I loved your ways how you shared everything a good manner.Good relationship very important for all people.And you also described 30 ways to better your relationship.
    I will share this post with my followers, hope they will love it.

    Thanks to share this useful post with us.

    Keep up your good work!

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How To Better A Relationship With Anyone

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