How To Better A Relationship With Anyone

Profile photo of Harleena Singh - | 62 comments
Poster of how to have a better relationship featuring a loving couple

Hey, Valentine’s Day is here, and it is the perfect occasion to express love and revive your relationships!

Love is in the air, so how could I not write about relationships 🙂

Do you also want to improve relations with your known or loved ones?

I’m not only talking about the relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

It could be the kinship with any of your family members, professional association with colleagues, or even with friends.

All these relationships often face challenges and undergo disturbing phases – it happens with almost everybody.

However, you can always resolve the issues and better your relationship.

Even if you do not have any relationship issues, you can always develop your relationship and take it to the next level.

To make that happen, you need to understand the basics of a relationship.

You should also know the ingredients and the perfect recipe for a perfect relationship to make it last forever.

So, let’s cook the Valentine’s Day love meal today to sweeten your relationships. 🙂

“Eighty percent of life’s satisfaction comes from meaningful relationships,” ~ Brian Tracy

The Components Of A Good Relationship

Building a relationship is no rocket science. Every human being learns to create a good relationship with experience, knowledge, and time.

Dictionary may define a relationship as the way in which two or more people or things are connected or the state of being connected.

However, relationships are more than mere connections.

A relationship is a system of mutual commitment that is based on collaboration and reciprocation among the connected people.

This connection depends on the involved people, their subjective and objective thoughts and behaviors.

Here are some points that are regarded as the fundamentals of a good relationship. I’ve mentioned some of these in my earlier posts, but they deserve a mention here too.

“We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics,” ~ Joyce Meyer

Communication

Yes, communication tops the elements of a relationship – it is the key to better your relationship.

The ship of your relations will sink if there’s no communication between you and your partner, colleague, friend, spouse, or relative.

Communication is like oxygen for a relationship. What will happen if you stop breathing?

You will suffocate, and then probably die!

This is what happens to a relationship when there is no communication between the people involved in it.

If you are wondering how to better a relationship, first check if the communication channels are open.

Communication can be symbolic, non-verbal, and verbal. It can be indirect or direct, offline or online.

However, the most effect form is the verbal face-to-face communication if the members are capable of engaging in this way.

For more information, read this post: Poor Communication Leads To Relationship Problems

“Be honest, brutally honest. That is what’s going to maintain relationships.” ~ Lauryn Hill

Friendship

It is not necessary that you become friend’s with only friends.

In fact, even for a marriage to work, the spouses need to be friends with each other. Friendship is the thriving ground where love blooms.

Best friends are generally honest and open. They trust one another and share each other’s secrets.

As friends, you are always equal and ready to help. You stand for each other without expecting anything in return.

To be friends, you need to spend more time with each other. Doing this will increase the chance of bettering your relationship.

So, are you planning relationship revival recreation this Valentine’s Day and ahead!

Make your spouse your best friend if you are married, and see your issues fly away. 🙂

Read more on how to become best friends with your spouse.

“Best relationship: Talk like best friends, play like children, argue like husband and wife, protect each other like brother and sister.” ~ Unknown

Respect

This may sound a bit old-fashioned or off track. However, the truth is everybody expects and needs respect.

Respect is the acknowledgment of the person as a whole. Mutual respect is the sign of accepting each other, including the differences.

The relationships where people are not respected often run into trouble.

Disrespect hurts your ego and self-esteem. This is the most basic reciprocation you expect in any relationship.

In fact, you’d love to be with someone who respects you, wouldn’t you?

If respect is coupled with love, then you have a strong bonded relationship that keeps bettering itself with time.

Know more ways to better a relationship from this post: 10 Ways to Improve Relationships with Kindness.

“The bonds that link your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.” ~ Richard Bach

Understanding

Understanding is being in agreement. It is the expression of support and sympathy for the other person.

That is how you can relate better to another person and create a relationship.

Understanding helps you increase your tolerance levels. It makes you tolerant of the individual differences in terms of culture, tradition, lifestyle, and beliefs.

Individuals may differ in their thoughts and perspectives.  Understanding is the bridge they can develop to cover up the differences.

The process of understanding also develops trust between the individuals. Trust will enable you to work as a team.

So, what are you doing to create and celebrate the understanding with your known and loved ones? Have you planned something for this Valentine Day? 🙂

“We have to recognize that there cannot be relationships unless there is a commitment, unless there is loyalty unless there is love, patience, persistence.” ~ Cornel West

Love

Finally, it is love that cements the bond of your relationship. Love is what we generally associate with Valentine’s Day.

Love is actually a kind and benevolent positive energy that is present in all forms of good relationships.

So, love is not only between lovers and spouses. You can also celebrate this Valentine’s Day with your family. Read this post to know how. 🙂

However, if you want to understand the love between two people, then you should read this post: Understanding True Love between Two People.

But you know what; everybody is a campaigner of love. Even you are a love teacher and use it in all your dealings with people!

If you do not understand what I am talking about, read this post – Are You a Love Teacher?

You’ll certainly enjoy that post, as you all can relate to it.

Now, how can you have a better relationship if you are not a love teacher or do not employ love in your interpersonal dealings?

“Love is what is left in a relationship after all the selfishness is taken out.” ~ Nick Richardson

Recapping the essential ingredients or components of a good relationship are communication, friendship, respect, understanding, and love.

Friends and lovers in good relationship

Why Does A Relationship Go Bad

You do not have to make any guesses here.

The most basic reasons why people have relationship problems are –

  • Lack of communication
  • Lack of friendship
  • Lack of respect
  • Lack of understanding
  • Lack of love

It could be all of these factors, or just one or some of them together.

These shortcomings in a relationship often give rise to ego problems, hatred for each other, feelings of revenge, lack of trust, and negative presumptions, etc.

If these issues are left unattended, they aggravate with time and create bitterness in relationships. People become skeptical of each other. They develop prejudices and negative stereotypes.

Most of the relationship problems are caused because of misunderstandings.

People tend to directly or indirectly – knowingly or unknowingly hurt each other.

They do not want to accept their fault or be the first one to mend the relationship.

You need to transform such a bitter relationship into a better relationship.

This is doable, provided the respective parties involved take conscious, constructive, and corrective actions.

Use this Valentine’s Day to fill your relationship with love, and spice it up with the remaining ingredients of a good relationship, as we discussed above. 🙂

“You do not develop courage by being happy in your relationships every day. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” ~ Epicurus

Must read: 9 Things You Should Do For a Happy Relationship

30 Ways To Better Your Relationship

Knowing the basics of a good relationship helps us learn how to better our relationships.

There are many things that you can do in many ways to improve your relationship.

I’ll mention them in points; however, this list is not comprehensive. You can always add more to it. For now, this is what you need to do to get started and have a better relationship with anyone.

Understand Yourself

It starts with you. Remember, when you are happy and content with yourself, you are likely to be positive in your thoughts, actions, and relationships. So, you need to –

1. Know yourself

2. Be yourself

3. Have self-confidence and self-esteem

4. Be honest

5. Be giving

This list of personal development can be endless. How can I not mention that you need to love yourself too! Know that you are beautiful and an embodiment of love. 🙂

“To become a better you, you must be positive towards yourself, develop better relationships, embrace the place where you are.” ~ Joel Osteen

Express Yourself

A relationship is also about knowing the other person and doing things for them.

You need to demonstrate your positive feelings and intentions and take the initiative to better your relationship.

6. Know the other person

7. Appreciate and compliment

8. Express gratitude

9. Do Small, random acts of kindness

10. Speak sweet, and smile often

“You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.” ~ Barbara de Angelis

Resolve Issues

You should never ignore the problem you face in your relationship.

Address the old issues, clear them out, and be positive.

11. Discuss problems

12. Listen more

13. Apologize if needed

14. Forget and forgive – let it go

15. Don’t keep repeating the blames or nag

“Kindness in words creates confidence.  Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.  Kindness in giving creates love.” ~ Lao Tzu

Strengthen Bond

Once your relationship is repaired, do these to make sure the problems do not reoccur.

16. Keep in touch

17. Nurture your relationship

18. Show mutual respect

19. Reciprocate

20. Fulfill your promises or commitments

“A healthy relationship is built on unwavering trust,” ~ Beau Mirchoff

Maintain Relationship

You need to keep working on your relationship. Keep making the efforts to push it further into the safe zone.

21. Share and care for each other

22. Celebrate each other

23. Identify each other’s relationship needs

24. Cherish moments – past and present

25. Become a trustworthy teammate

Relationship is like an investment, and you can always keep working to better it. The more time and effort you invest in your relationship, the better and stronger it becomes.

“The value of a relationship is in direct proportion to the time that you invest in the relationship.” ~ Brian Tracy

Value Relationships

Value people. Give them your best and gel with them!

26. Engage in entertainment and outings

27. Volunteer together for a social cause

28. Develop people skills and use them

29. Always have open communication

30. Welcome diversity and manage the relationship boundaries

Recapping, you can improve your relationship by knowing yourself, changing and improving yourself, knowing the other person, and expressing your good feelings and intentions.

You also clear the air of conflict if any, apologize if needed, take all required steps to repair proactively and maintain the relationship.

Celebrate your relationship and fill it with happy moments, be there for each other, and take part in confidence and trust building activities.

“In a relationship each person should support the other; they should lift each other up.” ~ Taylor Swift

Happy Valentine Day card

I am sure you’ve planned your Valentine’s Day to do just that and better your relationships, haven’t you?

Well, I am certainly taking a few hours off to be with my Valentine!! How about you? 🙂

Related Read: 10 Tips For Healthy Relationships in Life

This post makes me think about the Aha!NOW Blog Community (ABC). Relationships are at the core of the community activities here.

We encourage all members to introduce themselves, make friends, reciprocate, and develop relationships.

The members share and care, help and support each other, create trust and bond, celebrate the joys and success of each other.

This is the perfect example of how you better your relationships.

Know more about the ABC here or register here to experience quality relationship building.

“If civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationships – the ability of all peoples, of all kinds, to live together, in the same world at peace.” ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Wishing ALL of you a very Happy Valentine’s Day!

Over To You –

What do you do to better your relationships? Which is the most important component of a relationship? What is your Valentine Day resolution for improving relationships? Share in the comments.

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos



Profile photo of Harleena Singh
Harleena Singh is a positive thinker and a freelance writer. She loves to write inspiring and thought provoking posts on self-improvement, family, relationships, health, and other aspects of life. She's also a blogger, who loves to share her blogging knowledge and experiences on her personal blog, HarleenaSingh.com.

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62 Comments - Read and share thoughts

  1. Profile photo of Swadhin Agrawal

    Swadhin Agrawal

    February 13, 2015 at 7:09 pm

    Hi Harleena maam,
    Glad Aha!NOw is up and running again. I thought the problem was only with me (as usual) but I knew it was serious once I read ROhan’s take on Google Plus. Anyways, its great to see Aha!NOW in its full glory.

    I loved the post. This is what Aha!NOW is known for, touching the lives of people around, positively. I love the way how we can make our lives, relationships better with so little effort.
    But we in this metro type lifestyle simply make it burdened with unwanted glitches.
    I am a big advocate of honesty and friendship in any relationship. If honesty isn’t there I don’t think love stays. Being honest will drive out the fear of getting caught and also the fear of loosing someone when the truth comes out in the sun.

    Without friendhip you cannot be you in a relationship. May it be a parent-child relation or a brother-sister, or husband-wife relation, friendship always tends to patch up the broken chords of the love.

    On Going bad,
    I would say relationships go bad when we let our minds take decisions when heart should take. Smaller fights, small lies ans micro negativities turn out to grow into full grown hazards having the potential to let die everything in one go.

    Instead of talking away, trying to talk together, one after the other and solving problem can let relationships to survive their natural life.

    Yes that one is a golden tip; learning to be giving.
    You cannot always expect things to be going round you. You have to learn to be giving and try to stay happy or search for happiness in the smiles of the one you love.

    Life, I guess, would be much better if everyone followed those teeny weeny tips you have mentioned in the post.
    Loved the post maam. Thanks for coming up with one. 🙂

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 13, 2015 at 8:16 pm

      Hi Swadhin,

      Yes indeed, glad all is well now – it was a mixture of problems actually – spam attack, high traffic, and high resource usage by the WordPress plugins- thank Goodness all is ok now 🙂

      Glad you liked the post, and I am sure you all knew I’d come up with one of these posts, especially for this day! Although it’s just another day, but it reminds us to better our relationships, with just anyone, isn’t it?

      Being honest is vital for any relationship to develop and get better. Without trust and understanding, nothing really works. You are right, there can be no love without either of these, and you need communication, which forms the base of any relationship, between anyone.

      I agree about friendship, and you are a better version of yourself when you open up with another person – being friend’s doesn’t just mean becoming friend’s with your friend’s, just as mentioned in the post. It could mean being good friend’s with your family members, spouse, or just about anyone, as that bonds a relationship further I feel.

      Absolutely! Always follow your heart, you know I believe in that too, though have to use a little of my mind nowadays 😉 Any drift in a relationship, any small argument, a loud voice, a harsh behavior etc. can break hearts, whether of your family, friend’s, or your partner, so you need to tread your path carefully, and care for the feelings of others.

      Talking always resolves issues, provided both parties are ready for talks! Talks have to be two sided or it makes no sense. Mostly, when one side is ready, the other may or may not be, and that stops the progress of bettering the relationship or making amends. Yes, always give and you will receive, in most of the cases at least.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. Yes, these small tips were written with an aim to help make life better for one and all, glad you liked it too. Happy weekend 🙂

      • Profile photo of Swadhin Agrawal

        Swadhin Agrawal

        February 15, 2015 at 11:54 am

        Yayy and Yipeeee,
        I was the first to comment I knew it. 😀 🙂
        Its very nice that Aha!NOW is getting loads of traffic. I love this. And in this season of love, relationship and mutual understandings what blog could be better than Aha!NOW.

        Yes I knew you would come up with such a post. Indeed I was sad that due to the issue you might delay the post but as they say alls well that ends well.

        Wish you a very relaxing Sunday maam:)

  2. Profile photo of

    Piyush Ranjan

    February 13, 2015 at 8:13 pm

    Hello Harleena Maam,

    This is the first time ,i am here to comment on a relationship(Niche) post.

    Yes! I am in a relationship and it is almost 4 years now. We have spent many happy moments together, we also faced some of the sorrow moments too. Sometimes we start fighting with each other. Actually those are the happiest moment of my life.

    Coming back to your post, you have told all my feelings.

    Mutual Understanding is very essential to live happy. I think sometimes expressions gives more words. This is the way of communication i guess. Friendship is the way to understand better. Most importantly respect makes a couple cute. And yeah! Lots of understanding. This is called a relationship.

    Very touching post and i learn some new things what not to do and what to do from this post. Thanks maam.

    -Happy Blogging.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 13, 2015 at 8:40 pm

      Hi Piyush,

      Good to hear that, and you know you are welcome on any of the posts on this blog. I guess besides being just professional bloggers, we are all humans too, and the posts on this blog relates to each one of us 🙂

      Wow! That’s wonderful indeed, and I am glad you mentioned it. You are right, the happy and sad moments, together add spice to your relationship, isn’t it? I guess if we were always happy or always sad, something would be missing! A perfect blend of both is great I feel, though your sad moments shouldn’t last long, nor your fights, and every effort should be made to patch up soon thereafter. I am sure you must be taking care of that aspect.

      Without understanding from both sides, a relationship cannot flourish, and you are right about expressions – you need to express, or shall I say, show that you love and care for the other person. Words at times aren’t enough. Just as I was telling Swadhin above, friendship doesn’t just mean being friend’s with your friend’s- it could mean friendship with your family, spouse, or just about anyone, and that matters a great deal in making a relationship better.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us, glad you could pick up something from this one. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and yours 🙂

  3. Babanature

    February 13, 2015 at 9:26 pm

    Hello Harleena,
    Did your blog go offline? Glad you’ve took measures and your blog is back to normal.
    The commentluv premium plugin is best for preventing spam comments. And another advice, always use the cleanoption plugin to clean your blog deleted plugins to prevent unnecessary usage of resource.

    Back to the topic; You are right, lack of communication do causes relationship problem.
    communication is one of the key to save any relationship and people should definitely know about that 🙂
    I am wishing you a happy valentine’s day… and stay blessed

    Babanature

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 13, 2015 at 10:03 pm

      Hi Babanature,

      Yes, the blog was down and the server administrators could not spot out the real problem. So the possible guesses were high traffic, spam bot attack, and high CPU resource usage by some plugins or scripts.

      I’m glad you mentioned the cleanoption plugin and I’m going to tell Vinay to use that. Regarding CommentLuv, it has GASP, but we have other applications that do the same work that GASP does.

      Coming to the post, yes, without proper communication, nothing really works, offline or online. I guess the more we talk, the better the relationships become, isn’t it?

      Thanks so much for your lovely wishes, and Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your loved ones too. 🙂

  4. Brian

    February 13, 2015 at 9:59 pm

    The key to any relationship is communication. It’s the key to reduce misunderstanding and awkwardness in a relationship. It’s the same for both personal and business relationship. In a business relationship, communication with clients is very important. When clients are happy, business is good.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 14, 2015 at 12:28 am

      Hi Brian – good to see you after long 🙂

      Absolutely! Communication is the key – it’s what keeps the channels open in any relationship. I think if you have any relationship problems, or just want to make your relationship better, discussing and talking things out is the way. You are right, it works personally and professionally as well. Surely makes the clients happy, thus your business flourishes.

      Thanks for stopping by. Happy Valentine’s to you and yours 🙂

  5. Profile photo of Yatin Khulbe

    Yatin Khulbe

    February 13, 2015 at 10:01 pm

    Wonderful post …Love is simply in the air but in order to grasp it’s loveliness, we must have the heart to understand love. To me, valentines day is not restricted to married or unmarried couples. It is all about loving your near and dear ones.
    I loved the friendship point. Friendship is the basic block for sketching out a wonderful journey ahead.
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts
    Happy Valentines Day

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 14, 2015 at 12:33 am

      Hi Yatin,

      Lol…I agree with you there, you surely need to understand and ‘feel’ the love 🙂

      Absolutely! Valentine’s Day is actually just another day, though a reminder to celebrate love every day – it is about loving people, be it your family, friend’s, partner or just about anyone. I guess it all has to start with being a good friend, before it turns into a relationship, and such bonds only grow stronger with time.

      Thanks for stopping by, and Happy Valentine’s to you as well 🙂

  6. vino

    February 14, 2015 at 12:38 am

    Harleena,

    To be honest whenever I feel down emotionally I go through your blog post its like giving strength to a person who is poor mentally. Loved the way you expressed the things hear.Relationships are not only mere connections its a sacred bond between people. Thanks for bringing this info up!!

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 14, 2015 at 12:55 am

      Hi Vino,

      Aww…good to know that my posts can inspire you and make you feel a little better 🙂

      You know I am always around if you ever need a friendly ear. Yes indeed, relationships between two people only gets better once efforts are made from both sides- that’s what strengthens the bond, understanding and love, isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views 🙂

  7. Sylviane Nuccio

    February 14, 2015 at 3:13 am

    Hi Harleena,

    I have to say that there’s nothing better than a good relationship and nothing worse than a bad one. I have plenty of experience with the latter.

    I agree, before someone even entertains the thought of entering a relationship they should know themselves first. Key words here.

    I know so many examples of people who didn’t even know what pushes their buttons as we say, and started a relationship with someone that was doing just that. And things didn’t go well for sure. So that’s a very important point right here.

    Harleena, I’ve tried to join your community but wasn’t able to. Do you know why?

    Please, let me know.

    Very well done article!

    ~Sylviane

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 20, 2015 at 10:24 am

      Hi Sylviane,

      Absolutely agree with you there, nothing works better than a good relationship, but as you mentioned, having gone through it all yourself, nothing could be worse too!

      I think you can better your relationships when you know yourself, and that is a key factor that most people tend to ignore. If you know yourself, you can know about the other person and make all efforts to improve relationships with them.

      I sent you a detailed mail, twice in fact, with your username and password, hope you got it. I sent it earlier when you mentioned it on G+ too, and as soon as I received this comment as well. Check it out, and just join, like so many others have.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. Glad you liked it 🙂

  8. kelli cooper

    February 14, 2015 at 4:20 am

    Hi Harleena
    I don’t think my first comment went through..but if it did, sorry for the repeat. I really enjoyed all your points but the one that resonated with me most was understanding. We all have our own filters based on our life experiences, belief system and what have you, and naturally this means we will not always be in agreement with others or share the same perspective. If we are willing to truly consider why another person believes and acts as he does, we can set the stage for more effective interactions. This is something a lot of people don’t really do to any real degree because they can be very set in their own ways, and they don’t want to risk having their own filter challenged .

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 20, 2015 at 10:41 am

      Hi Kelli,

      No worries at all, and no, this is your first comment on this post – and good to receive your comment after very long on this blog too! 🙂

      I agree with you there – I think we all have our own view points and perspective, and it’s not necessary we’d agree with each other. I guess that also adds a little spice in a relationship, or else it’d be rather dull, if we did agree!

      I think the key lies in accepting the other person for who he or she is, knowing that it’s their life, their views, and their perspective. We hope they accept us as we are too – as this gives a little space and freedom in any relationship. Yes, most people have their fixed ideas and aren’t willing to accept or understand the other person, which leads to relationship issues.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂

  9. Chery Shmidt

    February 14, 2015 at 6:02 am

    Hello and Happy Valentines Day Harleena, What an appropriate post for the day! How to have a better relationship with someone? I don’t really have anything special planned for Valentines Day but today I did stop on over with a rose for my neighbor. Yeh we are neighbors yet haven’t seen each other all winter. Oh we do see each other on FaceBook but it was just nice to get together today.

    Sometimes we just need to get away and smell the roses HUH? Great Article! Thanks for sharing.. Chery :))

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 20, 2015 at 10:46 am

      Hi Chery,

      Belated Valentine’s to you as well. I guess it’s still the month of love, so one can wish each other 🙂

      Yes, I thought it was apt for this day and month as well. How nice! A rose! Your neighbor must be so touched and pleased with your kind gesture. I guess it’s a great day and way to catch up with people, especially those who matter.

      Oh yes…smell the roses, and make a special time to get away – being bloggers , don’t we all need such a time!

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us 🙂

  10. Corina Ramos

    February 14, 2015 at 8:30 am

    What a beautiful post Harleena. We should work on all our relationships not just our spouses. I’m working on getting closer with my family. We all live busy lives that there times we go weeks without speaking. I took the first step last Friday when I paid a visit to my sister at her job. It was a great visit and I plan on doing that more.

    We definitely have to work on our relationships and maintenance is a must and I loved the points you shared on how we can do that. I love the quote you put there..,it’s true our relationships is the most valuable investment we can make.

    I think trust and communication are important foundations in a relationship. I need to work on being more understanding and I do that by putting myself in my husband’s shoes.

    For example. We were supposed to go out tonight but he’s stil at work so our plans changed. I can be upset but I know he’s working for us. :). He owes me a big box of candy ;).

    Thank you for this post Harleena. Have a wonderful weekend. Wishing you and your hubby a sweet Valentine’s Day.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 20, 2015 at 12:59 pm

      Hi Corina,

      Glad you liked the post and could relate to it 🙂

      Absolutely! We need to be working on bettering our relationships, with just about anyone. Lol…I can understand what you mean – I guess we sail in the same boat with teens at home, though we make sure to make time for family dinners at least, if not otherwise, and of course, some respite during the weekends.

      Nice to know about your visit to your sister, yes -certainly must be done more often. I guess it’s just the relationships that we are all left with at the end of the day, isn’t it? So, we need to make all efforts to improve on them.

      You know I love quotes, and always spend a little time looking for the apt ones, with the images. I like that, and it’s the right way too to understand the other person. I guess we can then feel what they feel when we put ourselves in their shoes.

      Did you get the candy!? Jokes apart, I know what you mean and that’s where great understanding comes in, especially for those whom we respect and love, the hard working bread earners of our families.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. Yes, still the month of love, so any day is Valentine’s – hope you had a nice one too 🙂

  11. Profile photo of Nanda Rahmanius

    Nanda Rahmanius

    February 14, 2015 at 2:38 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    Sweet article!
    Actually, I am not in a relationship at this time. But, if I have a relationship later on, I will keep it by build friendship, communication and respect for each other. Exactly as you mentioned in this article. 🙂

    By the way, Harleena. I am ahaian now. Yes, I have just joined your community, ABC. I began to understand the system. I will try actively and contribute my best in your community. 🙂

    ~Nanda

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 20, 2015 at 1:14 pm

      Hi Nanda,

      Good to know more about you, and I hope this post helps you once you are in a relationship too, though it can work to better any kind of relationship 🙂

      Yes, mutual respect, communicating, and being friend’s are all essential aspects we cannot ignore.

      I know you did, and welcome aboard! I am sure you’re liking the ABC, the friendships made, and also the comments and visits to your blog by fellow Ahaians. I guess that’s what makes it different from the rest.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us 🙂

  12. Profile photo of Mi Muba

    Mi Muba

    February 14, 2015 at 8:33 pm

    Hi Harleena

    A very Happy Valentine’s Day to you.

    The 30 ways you mentioned to build and revive old dormant relationship are awesome. I can bet if someone follows even 25% of them there won’t be any problem in his relationship.

    I once read somewhere it is so easy to live alone, the real challenge is to live with someone where one has to be half of himself and half of his companion. It works best if she also follows this rule.

    Many people just to prove themselves very gender-balanced try to point finger at boyfriend and try to be the sympathizer of the girlfriend. In fact any kind of relationship is two-way affair and just like love begets love in same fashion mistrust begets mistrust.

    Some pious soul also advise to continue a relationship behaving like a reformer or a holy being and forgive other. It is good to forgive but every ethical system be it a religion or social system gives full liberty to part ways while adding if someone pardons other it is good for both. Apart from many other justice is also a basic to follow and live together, enjoy together and be together.

    Reasons of any problem in relationship as you pointed out are very valid and many people do know them but once they themselves face any problem so instead of solving it they follow their ego and lose many beautiful years of their life just in a mess of feelings.

    Thanks a lot for such a wonderful post and without seeing the author’s name I was sure you wrote this post as this topic is one of your strongest niche.

    Hope you are enjoying your weekend and this lovely event as well.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 20, 2015 at 6:29 pm

      Hi Mi Muba,

      To you too! Though belated, but it’s still the month of love, so it’s acceptable 🙂

      I am glad you liked these ways, though there is so much more we can add to these based on our experiences and relationships. And you are right, if we can even follow a few of these, we would be moving towards bettering our relationships, and that’s what really matters, isn’t it?

      Oh yes…you are right about that – it’s a challenge to live with another person. And if you have a family, or even a large or joint family and are able to live with so many people – then you become a relationship expert naturally! Lol…That’s because you learn so much about others, their ways and learn to accept and adjust, which is what forms the base of any relationship.

      You are right about that, and often the men are blamed, and that isn’t right, especially when they are not at fault. I think in cases where they dump their girls, or vice versa, either side gives a reason of mistrust and lack of compatibility and understanding, and there is of course NO love in such cases.

      Forgiving is easier said than done. Yes, one can do that, but I wonder for how long. A relationship can only work when efforts are made from both sides, or it isn’t really a relationship – you are just existing and making do with the other person. I’d never call that love or perhaps it’s the ‘holy’ kind of love, which we humans don’t need yet 🙂

      I agree about parting ways, if it doesn’t work for both, and doing it mutually is the best option. Yes, in such a case, both sides need to forgive each other and move on with life, there is no other way.

      True indeed! We know the relationship issues we face, yet we get tied down in our own ego clashes, and we lose those precious moments of togetherness. We fight, fret, fume, and just waste time in giving it back to each other – resulting in nothing but relationship issues. I guess even if such things happen, gulp in your ego and make up!! Life is TOO short to spend fretting over small issues, we need to rise above, love more, forgive more, and be with each other.

      Thanks for stopping by, and your kind words of appreciation. You are right – I love talking about family and relationships and they play an important part of our lives, around which everything revolves. Happy weekend 🙂

  13. Profile photo of Ilka Emig

    Ilka Emig

    February 14, 2015 at 8:45 pm

    Hi Harleena!

    You nailed it again. You gave us the ultimate guide to relationships. All points are absolutely important.

    And the last – to value a relationship – is often forgotten. We have to value our relationships and be thankful for them. It is so good to have real friends around us that it should not matter if they do some things we don’t understand from time to time. We have to celebrate our relationships and welcome diversity 🙂

    Happy Valentine’s day to you 🙂

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 20, 2015 at 6:41 pm

      Hi Ilka,

      Aww..thanks for saying that, though these were just a few ways to better a relationship. A lot more can still be added to it 🙂

      I agree with you there, we often forget the very basics, and not working on our relationships is another thing we take for granted. Good friends always understand each other, and take in the good and bad of a person, that’s what makes them special. True! Celebrate your relationships, and accept each other for who and what they are.

      Thanks for stopping by, and belated Valentine’s to you too – it’s still the month of love, so wishes are always welcome 🙂

  14. lisa thomson

    February 14, 2015 at 10:02 pm

    Hi Harleena, what a great post. This is very inspiring! In answer to your question, I think communication is the #1 criteria for solid relationships whether friends, family or spouse. In my experience, situations or words can be misunderstood especially if there were problems in the past. Always best to check in with that person if I’m feeling unsure. Next, gratitutde for having that person in my life is very important. Showing my appreciation for them.

    Happy Valentine’s Day!!

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 20, 2015 at 6:47 pm

      Hi Lisa,

      Glad you liked the post and found it inspiring 🙂

      I agree with you entirely! Nothing works better than talking, communicating your thoughts and feelings with the other person. It’s the one thing that can resolve any kind of relationship issues too, if both sides are willing to talk it all over.

      Misunderstandings are known to occur in relationships, and if you feel you are being misunderstood for some reason, it works best to clear things up. True! Nothing like appreciation and gratitude for the other, works always 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views. Same to you – even though a little late, it’s still acceptable, as it’s the month of love carrying on 🙂

  15. Mohit

    February 14, 2015 at 10:13 pm

    Harleena nowadays maintaining relationship is more harder than building new relations. People nowadays don’t communicate properly and that’s why many problems tend to happen between people. One should always try to expressive as then only he will be able to discuss the problems with someone who is very important for him or her.

    I hope that this blog post of yours will make people understand that maintaining any type of relationship is not difficult. One just needs to give proper time for it. Sometimes giving up Ego is necessary as then only one will be able to communicate properly with the another person.

    Keep writing more about relationships as I really like to go through the special points which you mention in such blog posts.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 20, 2015 at 7:10 pm

      Hi Mohit,

      Lol…that’s true also, but we need to work on both the things, maintain the old ones and work towards building new ones 🙂

      You are also another taker for communication, like Lisa mentioned in her comment earlier. It’s the foremost thing that works for most people, including me! As I replied to her, communicating your feelings to the other person is the best way to share yourself with them, whether good or bad – just talk and let go!

      I hope so too, as that was the reason to write this post, to help people improve their relationships, with anyone. Ego clashes can break the best of relationships, and where there is love, why the ego?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. Yes, I would, as and when the turn comes. Being a multi-niche blog, I need to take up all the topics in rotation. 🙂

  16. Profile photo of Yvonne I. Wilson

    Yvonne I. Wilson

    February 14, 2015 at 11:46 pm

    Hi Harleena

    You sure did not leave any stone un-turned in this post. 🙂 If I was in a relationship that was falling apart, this one would surely bring it back on track. 🙂 Nevertheless, great post indeed.

    What keeps my relationships flourishing, also as I work on making them better is good open, honest communication. I think even before one get to the point of saying “I love you,” it has to start with friendship and the ability to be honest and hold each other accountable.

    I would like to add trust as another element that makes a strong relationship. I think that fits in quite well with honesty and respect. The tendency is that, the more we respect each other, the stronger our love is for each other. Women are more ‘touchy feel-y’ so they look for love most, while the man look for respect most because the love flows naturally.

    Have an enjoyable weekend.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 20, 2015 at 7:23 pm

      Hi Yvonne,

      Thanks for saying that, but just as I was telling others, there is so much more we can add to this list, based on our relationship experiences 🙂

      I know about that – I guess I should have put it up earlier! Absolutely! Like Lisa, Mohit, and a few others, you too believe in the power of communication, which I feel is the best way to better our relationships. Nothing works better than talking things out, whether there are relationship issues or not. When you talk, you express your feelings – good or bad, and you are able to connect so much better with the other person. I cannot imagine a relationship working without it – that would be mere existence or a make-do relationship for me! Yet there are couples who spend years with each other, without really communicating, or just talking about the work related matters – not the real talks. Wonder who they manage!

      Absolutely! Being friend’s is the first step towards building a better relationship. The ‘love you’ stage should come later, and if it doesn’t, I wonder how long such relationships really last.

      Yes, #25 talks of trust too, and without it, you cannot improve your relationship. Respect again, should be mutual I feel, just as a relationship should be – efforts from both sides, which leads to better bonding and understanding of each other.

      You are right there – we women look for love the most (wish the men would understand this simple fact!) while the men want respect more than anything else.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. Happy weekend as well 🙂

  17. Kerry

    February 15, 2015 at 1:01 am

    This is a well-written and comprehensive post on the relationships that mean the most.
    I used this occasion to write about the five-year anniversary of the loss of my grandfather. He left us, Valentine’s Day 2010, to be with his one true love.
    My grandparents were a part of each other’s ives since they were children and they were together for nearly sixty years. They are the best example of lasting love. It wasn’t always easy for them, but they stuck it out and did not give up on their relationship, like so many do these days.
    🙁
    It makes me sad to see how people give up on each other like it’s nothing at all.
    A post like this, on a day we should focus on the love that makes our lives so full, and this post is a great one for this.
    Thank you for sharing.
    I am participating in a blogging project called 1000 Voices Speak For Compassion, #1000Speak and this is a post full of tips for compassionate relationships with the people we love or value.
    Sharing this post now. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and all your readers of this site.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      February 20, 2015 at 7:31 pm

      Hi Kerry – good to see you after long 🙂

      Glad you liked the post and could relate to it. Sorry to hear about your grandfather, though nice in a way that he left on this special day to be with his love.

      OMG! That is truly amazing…such a perfect love story, to marry your childhood friend, and eventually being with each other eternally. Yes, sixty years is a long time, especially to be together nowadays when relationships break at the drop of a hat! Keeping the love and relationship going is the real challenge, and I am so glad your grandparents came out real winners in their journey.

      I know I am perhaps late in wishing you the best for your blogging project, but wishing you the best nevertheless, and I hope it went off well for you. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. Wishes back to you, though belated, as it’s still the month of love 🙂

  18. Balroop Singh

    February 15, 2015 at 4:28 am

    Hi Harleena,

    This is an excellent post and perfect timing! Love thrives on building up relationships and that is what we have to keep learning. Love itself is a learning experience…it teaches us understanding, care, patience, trust and hordes of such emotions. I think respect is the foundation of any relationship. All ego melts when you feel respected.

    Relationships have to be nurtured slowly, their brittleness is felt only when we face the inevitable, when they are on the verge of falling apart. Communication steps in at such a moment and talking out all the differences on regular basis can keep all the relationships healthy.

    Thanks for touching on all the points. This post would be extremely helpful for those who wonder what goes wrong in relationships.
    Wishing you Happy Valentine’s Day and a splendid weekend.

  19. Lorraine Reguly

    February 15, 2015 at 11:27 am

    Excellent tips, Harleena.

    I’ve been building – acutally RE-building – my relationship with my son for the last two years. Honesty and spending quality time together have really helped us connect and become friends instead of merely a mother and son.

    When he told me that he sees me as more of a “friend” than his “mom,” I was thrilled to pieces!

  20. Nataly Auger

    February 15, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    Great post! Working on our relationships is very important, especially because time goes by so quickly. We often realize that weeks, even months have passed and we didn’t talk or see dear friends or family members.

    Although communication and respect are crucial in any relationship, another point that’s really important is being friends with our spouse. I always say that being friends first and see that friendship develop into love later on, makes the best couple! Ok, I say that because my husband and I were friends before falling in love, but I saw many couples begin that way and still going strong!:)

    Thanks a lot for sharing this wonderful post with us and have a great weekend! Happy Valentine’s Day! 🙂

  21. Satya Prakash Joshi

    February 15, 2015 at 9:46 pm

    this is wonderful post mam, thanks allot for sharing this wonderful post with us, without relationship there is not love, without love there is no relationship, i have learnt many things from this post, thanks again

  22. Ahsan

    February 15, 2015 at 10:39 pm

    Hello Harleena Singh,

    A relationship means bondage. It should be among friends, husband – wife, members of the family etc. The relationship grows stronger if both are honest & have respect among each other. You exclaimed key points very elaborately & added some points to make a bondage stronger.

    I hope this year will bring peace among global family & there will be no chaos in society. Happy Valentine Day 🙂

  23. Profile photo of Dennis Seymour

    Dennis Seymour

    February 16, 2015 at 11:58 am

    WOW! I haven’t read a relationship post like this ever.
    Some of these I practice already, it’s why I could get away with a lot of my mistakes haha 😀

    I could definitely use the tips above to go along with my trials on balancing my relationship with work time. That’s certainly my biggest challenge right now though she isnt complaining. I just think it will become an issue down the road if I keep abusing my privileges.

  24. Profile photo of Carol Amato

    Carol Amato

    February 17, 2015 at 3:13 am

    Hi, Harleena,

    Valentine’s Day is a lot of fun for us, but this year, my husband was in Pennsylvania, and I was in Florida. 🙂

    So, we made the best of it. I cooked a special dinner for my family and a favorite dessert, and we spent time together talking and hanging out.

    You got that right! Communication is the foundation to it all, isn’t it? I think respect is important too and trust is a key factor also for without it, we’re doomed.

    Your point about understanding yourself first is so critically important, and I appreciate you brining this to light, as not many folks mention that when talking about how to better relationships, but you’re right, it is first.

    Then, resolving an issue struck a chord with me, as this is an area that I’m sensitive to. I don’t like moving on unless there is an understanding. I don’t need to be ‘agreed with’ but I definitely need to feel understood. Many of us are the same I think.

    Valuing others is the basis for me, and I certainly try my best (thought don’t always succeed) to treat other the way I want to be treated.

    Thanks for sharing this awesome article around this time of year. Fun and yet serious at the same time.

    Take Care,
    – Carol 🙂

  25. donna merrill

    February 17, 2015 at 5:35 am

    Hi Harleena,

    You sure have covered many things needed for a good relationship. I think communication is the foundation of every one. We can be bound by so many things, but when it comes down to it all communication is the key.

    We can fall in love, have a family, and then life happens. Financial difficulties, putting our children first, families may be annoying….oh the list goes on.

    But if we have good communication with our other half, we can together climb mountains.

    -Donna

  26. Joy Healey

    February 17, 2015 at 6:34 am

    Hi Harleena

    Bit late for Valentine’s Day – but improving a relationship can happen any day 🙂

    As one who has no-one to share Valentine’s day with, I remember how dreadful it was the first time after John’s death. So this year I contacted a newly widowed friend and arranged to spend the evening with her so she’d have some company. It helped both of us.

    Hope everyone else had a good day too.

    Joy

  27. Sonam Gupta

    February 17, 2015 at 5:24 pm

    Hi,

    This is very interesting post . I loved your ways how you shared everything a good manner.Good relationship very important for all people.And you also described 30 ways to better your relationship.
    I will share this post with my followers, hope they will love it.

    Thanks to share this useful post with us.

    Keep up your good work!

  28. Dr. Diana Hardy

    February 18, 2015 at 3:08 pm

    “men and women can’t be friends” It’s a common question that’s been asked many times, some people say “no”, others say “yes” and have recount their own experiences of their opposite sex best friendship.

  29. Profile photo of Arpit Roy

    Arpit Roy

    February 18, 2015 at 8:50 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    What a lovely post!

    Wanted to read this post since a while now. Finally got here 🙂

    Communication is the most important component of a good relationship. Lack of communication leaves a lot of unsaid things in the heart and this can slowly build up into something nasty. It is really important to communicate with your loved ones. I feel that most of us don’t manage our personal and professional lives well, which is one of the many reasons for in-effective communication.

    Friendship and respect are also very important factors for a good relationship. It takes years to earn someone’s respect and just a second to destroy it. We should never do or say things that are disrespectful. Just think how would we feel if someone disrespected us?

    I really enjoyed reading the article Harleena. Thanks for this amazing share 🙂

  30. Profile photo of Neamat Tawadrous

    Neamat Tawadrous

    February 19, 2015 at 3:12 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Well written post and sure have all the elements that helps build or improve a relationship. You did a great job without leaving anything out.

    I think communication is the key element in any relationships. There could be love, respect and trust but without the communication element is hard to improve on any relationship.

    Thanks Harleena for sharing such a great recipe to better any relationship. Happy belated Valentine’s day!!

    Be Blessed,

    Neamat

  31. Sneha

    February 19, 2015 at 9:40 pm

    🙂 your opinions sounds me n my ***** to change the attitude.. i will surely share this.. 🙂 thank yew mam for your wonderful article.. truly helpful

  32. Profile photo of Harleena Singh

    Harleena Singh

    February 20, 2015 at 1:05 pm

    Hi Phil,

    Glad you liked it, and yes, certainly apt for Valentine, and this month of love 🙂

    I hope you come back to read these tips as and when you find time. Though the tips are small, they’re certainly worth implementing, isn’t it?

    Thanks for stopping by, and your kind wishes too 🙂

  33. Carolyn Nicander Mohr

    February 22, 2015 at 3:52 am

    Hi Harleena, So sorry to be late but I’m here now! 2014 was a banner year for divorces for my friends. In some cases I saw it coming, in others I was blindsided. The common thread of those relationships was a spouse complaining about the other person to either me or my husband without saying anything good about them. Sometimes it was the complainer, sometimes it was the person who was complained about who filed for divorce.

    (I’m not saying that is a symptom in all divorces but it certainly was with my friends last year!)

    Your advice on relationships is simply spot on. If we treasure our partners, friends and companions, they will not only feel good about themselves, they will feel good about you! As you so wisely put at the top, Harleena, we have to focus on ourselves first. If we’re not feeling good about ourselves, we’re more likely to complain about others.

    But as you said in a previous article, we should remember what drew us to that person in the first place. What did we celebrate in the beginning of the relationship? Remember how we felt as if were the luckiest person in the world to have met that person?

    Once we remember that, celebrating the other person will be easier. If we can give our friends and loved ones a compliment a day, we can lift them up and lift ourselves up too.

    I will be sharing this widely, Harleena, in the hopes that 2015 will be the year of no divorces for my friends!

  34. Profile photo of Matthew Johnson

    Matthew Johnson

    February 22, 2015 at 5:48 pm

    Harleena,
    I loved the post! It serves as a great outline, and rubric, for what a relationship should contain and can be.
    The only aspect of love I’d add on there is trust!
    I’ve actually talked extensively on that topic here: romancereveal(dot)com/the-importance-of-trust-in-a-relationship
    I just find that without it, couples will have anxiety and reservation, which could greatly come between what you mention above!
    Thank you for this insight! 🙂

  35. Sara Stein

    February 23, 2015 at 6:17 am

    There’s also the little spoken about thing that can haunt a long term friendship or relationship. Jealousy. If you suddenly find yourself unable to be happy for the person you claim to love, it’s not really your love for them that’s faulty, but your own love for yourself. When you love someone, you want their happiness as much as you want your own, and are the first one to clap and beam at their successes. (Even at the cost of your own.) There’s a fine line between being selfish and be selfless.

  36. Profile photo of apoorv

    apoorv

    February 25, 2015 at 9:57 am

    Do I need to comment in this post which has said all the things that i was need but now its late for me but though enjoyed reading some of my thoughts were to the point like ma’am mentioned while some were clashing. Had I been known about this before I would have surely had cherished the person I love and not just let her go and feel sad and depressed on holding the things that doesn’t matter now. 🙁

  37. Sayantan Mahato

    March 4, 2015 at 12:21 pm

    Hello Harleena Ma’m,

    Thanks for this helpful post. I maybe late commenting on the post, but must say it helped me a lot on understanding the key elements of a healthy relationship. Relationship is not only the gf-bf thing, it is more than that.

    I would say that trust is one of the most important aspect of relationships, relationships are based on the roots of trust.

    Thanks.

  38. Profile photo of Nisha Pandey

    Nisha Pandey

    March 4, 2015 at 10:24 pm

    Hi Harleena Mam,

    first of all thanks ton for such a wonderful article.

    Honestly relationships are the most important things in life. But in today’s world where professional and peer pressure is so high we tend to go away from the things that should be our closest.

    On the point of communication and respect, I cannot agree more with you. Most often relationships fail because of the lack of these two aspects. Thanks again for sharing the amazing tips.

    Stay loved 🙂

    Enjoy your day ahead!

  39. Profile photo of Maxwell Ivey

    Maxwell Ivey

    March 12, 2015 at 12:54 am

    hi harleena; what a great post. sorry i didn’t read it sooner. i spend more time with online friends than with people in person. that is outside my family. but i will take this post as an invitation to evaluate myself and my current relationships and see if i am truly being a good friend. take care, max

  40. Lukovski Zdravko

    March 12, 2015 at 3:33 pm

    Now that is the most comprehensive article on relationships I’ve ever read. I love the components for a successful relationship I’d just add few more to the list: empathy, care and compassion. They are very important, at least in my personal relationship they play a huge role.

    I also have to say that I love all the quotes intelligently included where they should be.

    10/10 in total. Truly inspiring!

  41. Bibek

    March 13, 2015 at 11:07 pm

    Howdy…
    Well I too had some rough moments with my Dad when i Didn’t as good in my studies but after school I felt like my Dad is the best Dad in this whole world And this makes me really emotional after reading that respect part of your blog nice work done I must say…!!!
    Thanx for the post ..!!

  42. Mark Addison

    April 27, 2015 at 11:57 am

    Wow. This is a great post. This post will of course help to to keep my relationship better.I am agree with your all of points. And yes, Love is important to keep the relationship better, It help us to keep relationship better than anything else. I hope i will follow all of your tips to make my relation more better.

  43. Danny Ray

    December 16, 2015 at 10:09 pm

    My wife is from Poland and I am American so we are constantly working on communication. It can be frustrating at times as she mistakes phrases I use and often takes them for the incorrect meaning. With that said, our love and friendship is our foundation and it is extremely solid! Great post!!

  44. Anna

    June 13, 2016 at 9:37 pm

    Really valuable article.. Thanks for sharing this great article.. In today’s world, it’s always about “me,me , me , me.” This is why our relationships with friends, family and romantic partners are weak. You can’t connect with other people if you’re thinking about yourself all the time!



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How To Better A Relationship With Anyone

by Harleena Singh time to read: 9 min