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Rekindle Love in Marriage in 10 Practical Ways


By with 85 comments
couple hug each other to rekindle love in marriage

Have you observed that romance seems to fade away at some point in most marriages?

As discussed in my earlier post on why does a bad marriage happen, people have revealed that the physical intimacy couples once had decreases with time.

They also confessed that they no longer verbalize their love as much as they used to. Can you relate to such revelations and confessions?

Let’s be frank and honest here – most of you, including me, need to rekindle the love in our marriages because we all face the ups and downs in our relationships – don’t we?

Ever thought of how to rekindle love in marriage that was there once upon a time?

Since love is the bonding element and an essential aspect of a working marriage, you need to find ways to arouse the love again in your marriage.

You need to start romancing again like the old days to revive the love and passion, and to repair and strengthen your bond of marriage. Does it seem difficult?

Well, don’t worry because married couples can rekindle love in marriage that they might have lost over time in easy and practical ways, though it requires co-operation from both partners.

“Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.” ~ Tom Mullen

Ways to Rekindle Love in Marriage

Although there are many ways of rekindling love in a marriage, but I’m sharing just a few of them. While I’ve tried some of these restorative ways, some I still need to. They are –

1- Plan a date night

If you haven’t done it yet – start setting up date nights with your partner. You could take turns to plan the dates. Surprise each other with some activity to rekindle love in your marriage.

You don’t have to spend lots of money and buy expensive gifts. Remember, small things matter. So, even a candle light dinner in your backyard or in a quiet place can be a date night.

If life’s demands force both of you to put your marriage last in the list of your priorities, then there’s all the more reason to deliberately plan a date and make time for it.

You could plan to go out together once a week or once a fortnight, to just getaway.

Remember to have fun and be creative, just as you did and were before you got married. Bring back the love in your marriage – only you can do that and no one else.

2- Be attractive

Your partner didn’t marry you for your brain or wealth, but for what you’re and how you looked – isn’t it? You did get into a relationship because you both felt physically attracted towards each other.

So, it’s important to keep looking good for each other even after you are married – for years to come. I’ve always seen my parents as a living example, because they always lived for each other.

In most of the cases affairs and adultery takes place when one of the spouse stops taking care of themselves, and either becomes obese, and unattractive.

This makes the partner compare his or her spouse to another, outside their marriage.

Temptation works! So, it’s important that both the husband and wife should continue to look good for each other to rekindle love in marriage.

3- Don’t take your partner for granted – Tell your spouse you love him or her

I’m sure most of you are guilty of this one!

How many times do you express your love to your spouse? How many times do you really say those 3 magical words – I love you? Be honest! I forget so many times, I admit! How about you?

I think most couples take each other for granted and feel that once they are married, it’s alright not to keep telling each other how much I love you as it’s understood. How wrong can they be!

When you first dated, you couldn’t wait to spend time with each other, and looked forward to being with one another. You worked on your relationship – didn’t you?

This attention made your spouse feel loved and special.

You need to express your love more often to your spouse after marriage by telling them how much you love them. How can you do that? Here are a few simple ways –

  • Send them emails, or cards without any occasion – just to make them feel special.
  • Talk to them as often as you can, tell them you miss them and want to be with them.
  • Try messaging that, “I can’t wait to get home and be with you,” or “I’m thinking about you,” to your spouse during the day.
  • Or write love notes around the house that your spouse can find around the house like a romantic treasure hunt!
  • Discuss about your day, and ask about how their day was – this is something that most couples don’t do? Am I right?

It becomes all the more necessary to let your partner know you love them, every single day so that they feel assured, and it does feel good to hear these words too – doesn’t it?

Don’t fall into the trap and say, “I don’t have to tell him/her, he/she already knows, or I don’t have time to tell him/her I love them.” To tell your spouse you love him/her is the greatest gift you can give them.

So, if you haven’t been telling them that – go on and say it now, it’s never too late! Don’t let that spark fizzle off! Rekindle the love in your marriage by saying these magical words and watch the difference.

4- Don’t be snarky

If you’ve been criticizing or abusing each other in your relationship, then it’s likely to suffer and might even lead to a breakup.  Agreed everyone makes mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you behave the way you do!

That will only push your spouse further away from you, which makes it harder to feel close – leave alone get intimate or make love to each other.

Instead, do things that please your partner. Try to become best friends with your spouse.

Say words that make your spouse feel good, like – “You’re looking beautiful tonight” or show your gratitude by saying, “It’s so nice of you to have brought me this gift – I love it.” (even if you feel differently!)

According to research, happy couples make five times more positive than negative statements about each other – no wonder they have better sex too. I hope you appreciate and compliment your partners!

5- Touch more often

You won’t believe it, but a simple touch has great powers. So, touch often, and you can do that by simple things like holding hands when you walk or sit.

Simply take turns and hug each other, put your arms around each other, or wrap around each other when in bed at night. You can instantly feel the love and warmth with the touch.

Two good reasons for doing this – first, the spouse receiving your affection isn’t tempted to look for love elsewhere.

Second – the spouse giving the affection conveys to other spouse stealers that you are happily married – so stay away!

You can stop many affairs in a relationship and adultery from happening when you publicly express your affection towards your spouse.

By touching your spouse many times a day you acknowledge their presence, and it’s one way of showing them how much you love them. If you haven’t been doing it – get started now!

6- Rediscover sexual pleasures

Another way to rekindle love in marriage is to try different ways, position, and place of sex, instead of the same boring routine sex you might be having.

There’s an ancient Indian saying that connotes that don’t make love to different men or women, but make love to the same man or woman in different ways to keep the love alive in marriage and pacify the temptations of adultery.

The Internet is full of great ideas if you’ve run out of them. It doesn’t have to be just about sex, even kissing and fondling do wonders.

Fantasy sex is one aspect that can rekindle love in marriage and help the person deal with any unfulfilled sexual desires.

Such desires could tempt you or your spouse to seek resources outside the marriage if they are not attended to or resolved within your marriage and with your partner.

So, be the secret passionate lover that resides in your spouse’s heart and mind.

Try being more sensuous, sexy, and romantic with each other, and bring back the passions of fire that were there initially.

Married couple lying on ground and holding hands to express love

7- Make an effort to have fun together

You all lead busy lives, and while you are busy at work and rushing through life, your spouse might be busy handling the home front and kids. Such is life, and we all have to live it.

But that shouldn’t stop you from having your share of fun with each other because you need to create that time to bond with each other and get intimate.

You could try any of the following ways, or get creative and add more to this list –

  • Spend a night, just the two of you, in a motel. Get someone over to take care of the kids, or drop them over at your parents.
  • Dine out at your favorite restaurant, or just go to any joint to eat out.
  • Take a class together to learn something new like dance or new language.
  • Cook a romantic dinner for the two of you – as you would’ve before marriage.
  • Take a vacation and move out leaving all your work behind, just the two of you!

Remember, you need to do something out of the ordinary to make your boring and monotonous life, interesting and lively once again.

You need to rekindle love in marriage and bring back the passion that once was, if it’s not there now. Rediscover what excites you or your spouse and do those things. Become a love teacher once again!

Marriages that are successful are never boring. Got more ideas to share – let me know in the comments below!

8- Always keep your channels of communication open

Being couples, you need to keep talking and discussing things with each other. I see many couples stop doing this because they get so busy in their daily chores and work. What happens then?

The connectivity that once was, seems to disappear. It happens with me many time when due to some reasons I cannot get across to my husband either because he is busy, or I am involved in work.

It seems like we are strangers living under the same roof, until we realize this fact and work towards creating that ‘us’ time, which is SO important in all marriages. Does it happen with you too?

You need to do things to emotionally connect once again with each other.

Some small things like, helping your spouse in the housework, getting kids reach for school, help in the garden, or just about anything that helps you connect and talk better with each other.

Don’t forget to tell your spouse what you like or don’t like romantically. Couples should express what they like, how they feel, and what they think their partner wants.

9- Break the rules – Do something unexpected or out of the ordinary

Most couples tend to lead a boring life or do things that are predictable. For example, you know what time your spouse will come home for dinner, so you have it all laid in time.

You know when he or she will leave, so your breakfast is on time, or you know when he or she will go to sleep, so you close the lights and sleep as well. But you don’t have to do that!

Try doing something unexpected, and unpredictable. Surprise your spouse by dressing differently, having something unexpected laid out when he or she returns from work – that it wows him or her.

Anything works as long as it rekindles the love in your marriage.

10- Be what your spouse wants you to be

Every person has an image of how their ideal partner should be. Try to get into the mind of your spouse and know what he or she fantasizes about.

You can even talk, walk, and dress like what your spouse dreams of his or her ideal partner or lover.

This may require you to do things that are unusual for you, but doing so brings happiness to your spouse, and that’s what really matters in a marriage – isn’t it?

By doing so, you keep the fires or passion burning alive and rekindle love in marriage once again. I liked The Passion Plan that helps rekindle love in marriage and would help you bond better.

“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.” ~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning

husband and wife clink juice glasses and share happy moments

How You Can Rekindle Love in Marriage

If you know things aren’t going right in your marriage, or you feel unhappy in your marriage – do something about it. Remember, marriage is like fire, if you don’t stoke the fire, it will go out.

You need to keep the fire and passion in your marriage alive by talking and being with each other, making time for romance, without any ifs and buts.

All of us have to work hard for a living, but isn’t your family and marriage the very reason for you to work so hard? You cannot neglect one for the other, instead, balance out your time to devote to both.

That’s why I’m taking a break, which I always do at this time of the year – it’s our annual summer vacation trip and we all are travelling as a family.

I’m sure this break would help me plan on rekindling the love in my marriage as well as spending quality time with my family. How about you – when are you taking your break?

Thus, if I don’t respond to comments immediately, or am a little late in visiting your blogs and sharing your posts, I’m sure you’d understand why :)

“Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be.” ~ Robert Browning

If there are problems in your marriage, talk them out and commit to change what’s in your hands. Focus on the positive goals and limit the complaints.

Remember, that learning how to rekindle a marriage is about recollecting the little things you used to do when you were in a relationship, or when you had just got married. You need to get back right there.

I strongly feel that the love between married couples rarely disappears. Instead, the feeling of love just hides behind the feelings of anger, abandonment, neglect, resentment, and loneliness.

You can rekindle love in marriage if you are willing to do the work – are you? Then what are you waiting for – go ahead and tell your spouse how much you love him or her :)

Over to you

Do you feel the love in your marriage is missing or seems to have fizzled off? What ways would you suggest to rekindle love in marriage and bond better with your spouse? Share in the comments below.

 

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos


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About Harleena Singh

Harleena Singh is a positive thinker and a freelance writer. She loves to write inspiring and thought provoking posts on self-improvement, family, relationships, health, and other aspects of life. She's not another personal development guru, but just an average person with great life experiences. She's also a blogger, who loves to share her blogging knowledge and experiences. Network with her on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+..

85 Comments

  1. Babanature

    June 4, 2013 at 4:49 pm

    Wow Harleena, you’re right on point with your hot take home offer. :)

    Every married man or woman should take your advice to build a stronger relationship. I would say more but you’ve already said what i’d say in a perfect way.

    I hope you have a nicer trip and do show your husband the best pleasure ever ;) . Thanks

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      Harleena Singh

      June 4, 2013 at 6:04 pm

      Hi Babanature,

      Glad you liked this one and I guess most of us married lots can relate well to it :)

      Thank you for your kind words, and I think most of us even know at the back of our minds what is really missing in our marriages, so these ways can help as reminders to rekindle love in marriages for all of us :)

      I sure do plan on having one, and I think all of us need a break sometime or the other. We would all be travelling as a family, but it’s always good to be together and have fun too – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views :)

  2. Enstine Muki

    June 4, 2013 at 5:46 pm

    That’s romantic Harleena! Interesting tips for us the married ;) I’ll let my wife read this of course. Not that the love is missing though but I think knowing this you’ve shared is enriching ;)

    Nice read!

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      Harleena Singh

      June 4, 2013 at 6:11 pm

      Hi Enstine,

      Glad you felt so, because that’s a very important aspect we cannot ignore :)

      Aha…just your wife? Or perhaps you are already good at all these ways ;) Jokes apart, I agree with you there – it’s not that love is missing, but sometime along the busyness of life, there are many things that do get left behind. I hope these ways to rekindle love in marriage helps in some ways to bring back the same good old charm we had when we had long back started off – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing your views :)

  3. Oluwaseun Babajide

    June 4, 2013 at 5:57 pm

    Harleena,

    I agree with you that romance fade away at some point in marriages. I love all your points on ways to rekindle love in marriage. I do #1-Plan a date night. I do this so often to keep our love/marriage alive.

    Oh yes, I can be too romantic :D. Sending cards, flowers to her place of work etc. I can’t remember the last time I said I love you. I need to start doing this more often, like you said, Be honest!

    Thanks for the share.
    -Seun.

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      Harleena Singh

      June 4, 2013 at 6:21 pm

      Hi Seun,

      Nice to know that you could resonate with the post :)

      Yes, it surely does with time – unless you are really good at keeping things working always, which I doubt we are because we have so much on our minds and hands to cover. I’m so glad you already plan out your date nights – we are really bad at that, because my hubby always believes in taking our kids along for most of our outings…lols…so I’d surely make him read this one too.

      Sounds like you really didn’t need to go through these ways to rekindle love in marriage as you are already doing so well! Sending flowers and cards – awesome! And I think if you add those three magic words also to the list – your wife would have it all :)

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with all of us :)

  4. Linda Ursin

    June 4, 2013 at 6:14 pm

    Both have to make an effort. The desire to improve things is lost when you’re the only one trying.

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      Harleena Singh

      June 4, 2013 at 8:12 pm

      Welcome to the blog Linda!

      Absolutely! If constant efforts aren’t made from both the sides, nothing really works in a marriage. One person trying to make things work will often keep trying with no results, or give up soon. I do hope these tips help people rekindle the love in the marriage.

      Thanks for stopping by :)

      • Linda Ursin

        June 5, 2013 at 1:15 am

        I hope so too. I’ve been doing ‘that’ dance for 22 years.

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          Harleena Singh

          June 5, 2013 at 1:19 am

          I’m sure hard work always pays as they say, and things would get better. Some day realization will strike :)

          Thanks once again :)

  5. Darlene Today

    June 4, 2013 at 7:45 pm

    Harleena..

    I’m sitting here reading this awesome post and as I’m digesting the marriage info, I’m simultaneously thinking how it’s good enough to be a book. Then, as I noticed the length, I REALLY thought how this could be a Kindle guide.

    Geez.. now I forgot what I wanted to say about marriage.. Hmmm.. Oh wait, I remember!

    I have a saying.. it might be a bit to the extreme but ya’ll will get the point. My gauge is “Would you do it on the first date?”

    Obviously you can’t use this literally, but it’s like when you mention looking good. I guarantee all of us made an effort for that on our first date. So, do it now!

    But I kinda use it in the opposite way, too. Take something as silly as a burp.. Would you burp in front of your date? LOL Of course not, so don’t do it now in front of hubby/wife.

    Lovin your blog! Darlene :)

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      Harleena Singh

      June 4, 2013 at 10:14 pm

      Hi Darlene,

      Nice to know that you could resonate so well with this post :)

      Ah…that’s such a lovely compliment I must say, though it’s not all that worthy to be turned into a book or a Kindle guide for that matter. Yes, my post length’s most often run into great length’s that give a feeling of a guide. But you gave me a good idea to perhaps combine a few of such posts and turn them into a book.

      First date’s are very special I think, and I still remember mine – precious moments to be treasured indeed. That’s what we all need to remember that we did all the good and nice things when we were dating – we looked good and always had our best foot forward, but why can’t it be the same years later? What dies down after marriage? A golden question – isn’t it?

      Glad you are loving the blog, and I too am loving your visits and wonderful comments.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts :)

      • Darlene Today

        June 5, 2013 at 9:29 pm

        I will agree with you in that there needs to be more content for a book.. but here’s the thing: Most of us have the attention span of a gnat, which is why the shorter Kindle books (make it a series while you’re at it) are blowing off the shelves.

        BUT: “It’s not all that worthy to be turned into a book or a Kindle guide for that matter.”

        Nope! Sorry, I don’t mean to be contrary.. but that’s simply not true.

        Pick up 2 -3 books in this category and skim thru. Now tell me your writing isn’t as good or better than those published books.

        ~ darlene

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          Harleena Singh

          June 6, 2013 at 6:29 pm

          Sounds like a good idea, Darlene :)

          Ah…thanks so much for your kind words of appreciation. I guess I can do a little better once I know these posts might get into the form or an eBook or Kindle one day.

          Honestly speaking, I’ve yet to go through any of the eBooks one sees around because of the lack of time and I feel we tend to get biased reading them once we write, or might just start writing like those. Having your own voice is better.

          Thanks once again for the inspiration to turn think towards something that might work out in the near future. :)

  6. Debbie

    June 4, 2013 at 8:23 pm

    Excellent points here, Harleena.

    We enjoy date nights every week and always have fun together. :-) I would say though, that if you really love your mate, it wouldn’t matter that much if they gained weight, (hubby and I certainly both have, over the course of our 40 year marriage), and you are still attracted, regardless. Of course, good hygiene and good grooming should be mandatory. ;-) Communication is always necessary for any relationship to survive and thrive.

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      Harleena Singh

      June 6, 2013 at 7:26 pm

      Hi Debbie,

      Glad you liked the points shares :)

      Awesome indeed that you DO manage to enjoy date nights even after having been married for 40 years! I guess we all need to take lessons from you as to how to rekindle love in marriage :)

      Oh yes…I agree that we all put on weight over the years and that’s no reason to not be in love, in-fact we grow with age as they say, and that happens in all aspects ;)

      However, it’s said that you remain attracted if you maintain yourself and look good for each other. I still need to work on that aspect and look good the way we are, though there’s always a scope to improve and get better – isn’t it?

      Yes indeed, without communication or talking to each other, nothing really works and as I always say – it’s the key to keep all marriages and relationships going.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post :)

  7. Ashley Porter

    June 4, 2013 at 9:15 pm

    These are all great tips that any married couple can use Harleena. I will have to save these in mind for my future relationship.

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      Harleena Singh

      June 6, 2013 at 7:27 pm

      Hi Ashley,

      Glad you liked the points shared :)

      I do hope these ways to rekindle love in marriage help you whenever you need them in your future relationships.

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  8. Nwosu Desmond

    June 4, 2013 at 9:58 pm

    Communication is definitely the most important factor to keeping a healthy relationship because when two people can reach out to another and communicate without much glitches such relationship tends to thrive. Thanks for sharing these awesome post, though i am not married yet, i will definitely try and inculcate these behaviors to being a better husband someday.

    You have a very nice blog here, will definitely visit often.

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      Harleena Singh

      June 6, 2013 at 7:39 pm

      Hi Nwosu, good to have you back after long :)

      It sure is, and nothing really works without any communication or talks with one another, at least for me it doesn’t!

      Ah…you aren’t married, yet you know how important communicating is for a relationship to thrive. I do hope these ways to rekindle the love in a marriage are of use to you whenever you get married, and I’m sure you’d make a wonderful husband as you are already taking so much of care from before :)

      Thanks for stopping by and for sharing this post. I’m glad you liked the blog that you did visit earlier, but yes, it’s been awhile I guess. Look forward to your visits :)

  9. Mayura

    June 4, 2013 at 10:33 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    Well, I think I’m not grown up enough to read some tips :D lol… Just kiddin’… It will come to me too ;)

    I guess I’m not a reader to fetch more tips or stories here, at least for now as an unmarried kiddo ;) But you have discussed few stuff that worked in my relationship too.

    Being attractive and expressive are vital. In addition, I used to surprise her with unexpected surprises especially by visiting her (Not home) when she believes I’m at home ;) Actually it takes few hours for me to visit her and I had to walk few miles for my home with no transportation at late night. However she insisted me to promise that I won’t do it again as I was walking too much :D lol…

    Now you are setting as an example for everyone by following your own advises Harleena :) Wonderful! That’s what most people missing.

    Further, I see you are adding the personal touch very well and it’s really clever ’cause it opens up yourself more to the audience and in return, it will open up readers more I guess :)

    You have a lovely week and why not, enjoy your annual summer camp as never before Harleena :) Hope it will be filled with full of surprises for everyone in your family.

    Cheers…

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      Harleena Singh

      June 6, 2013 at 8:33 pm

      Hi Mayura,

      Ah…I know you aren’t married but I know you’re into a relationship that would soon turn into the wonderful bond of marriage, which is when you’d need such posts – isn’t it? :)

      Oh yes…being attractive works, especially at your stage, and same is the case with being expressive because unless you can’t express and convey your emotions, you really can’t connect with each other. And this works for all those who are in a relationship and even married lots.

      I like the way you plan out the surprises for her, and I’m sure she must be so thrilled and happy to see you, but yes, she’s being considerate too and not wanting you to walk that much. That shows her love for you :)

      I guess by being personal and touching, you make the other person feel special, loved for and cared. It also let’s others know that this is your partner so they don’t mess around with them or you, so a win-win situation.

      Thanks for stopping by, and for your kind wishes. We surely are having a nice time with my Dad presently, before we head together to the hills in another few days. Hope you too are having a nice time at your end :)

  10. Carolyn

    June 4, 2013 at 10:48 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    These suggestions are great! They apply to everyone in a marriage. So often I see couples who are taking each other for granted. You can sense when trouble is brewing. They don’t appreciate each other or they put each other down in front of others.

    You give great reminders of what we can do to make a spouse feel treasured, Harleena. Who doesn’t want that, right? Thanks so much for these, Harleena!

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      Harleena Singh

      June 6, 2013 at 8:52 pm

      Hi Carolyn,

      Glad you liked these suggestions to rekindle love in marriage :)

      Yes indeed, most couples take each other for granted and think that their spouses will understand, which doesn’t always happen – nor should they be doing that.

      You’re right – putting each other down in-front of others or not appreciating each others efforts can harm a relationship in more ways than one. What’s needed is that they learn to value and bring back the good old times and ways they were before marriage or things changed, and they can always do that with a little effort – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. Have a nice day ahead :)

  11. Lisa

    June 4, 2013 at 11:51 pm

    Harleena, I was afraid to read this one.

    Been a sore spot of late. Good tips but I’m not sure on #10; what if the person they want you to be is not you at all?
    I agree couples need to get out of their environment once in a while to aid the relationship. Do something different. I don’t know how my parents have done it for 65 years, wish I knew the secret sauce :)

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      Harleena Singh

      June 6, 2013 at 8:54 pm

      Hi Lisa,

      Ah…you’re not the only one, because most of us are guilty in a few of these points mentioned, and that includes me too :)

      Yes, the last point is to be the best your partner wants you to be, and if your spouse loves you enough, they would always want you to be who you are without changing for them – isn’t it? I don’t think they would want you to change for them – would they? Because they always loved you for who and what you were.

      Oh yes…going out of your way or doing something different is a good way to rekindle love in marriage and keep the spice in your marriage alive. Our parents were from a different era I feel, and even though they might not have done things differently, they were always with each other through thick and thin. I think they understood each other pretty well and had more time to spend with each other, which is where we lack nowadays.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us :)

  12. Christina

    June 5, 2013 at 3:01 am

    This is beautiful! A great reminder :)

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      Harleena Singh

      June 6, 2013 at 8:55 pm

      Hi Christina,

      Glad you liked this reminder on how you can rekindle love in marriage :)

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  13. Donna Merrill

    June 5, 2013 at 6:28 am

    Great tips Harleena.

    I especially like #2 Be Attractive! Being together with my husband for 23 years, I want to always be a good “arm piece” for him no matter where we go. I just love getting dressed every day for myself but especially for him. Hair done, lipstick on, clothes matching – Although we both work from home, there is no excuse to dress like a slob! We do all this stuff to get the man and we need to keep it up to keep him. That’s my motto.

    I also think that No. 8 is the most important one of all. Without communication, a couple can crumble. I just love talking with my husband. We are together 24/7 and never run out of things to talk about. That is what attracted me most when I met him. We talked till 4 in the morning one night. I knew I could live a life with this man because he is always interesting.

    Donna

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      Harleena Singh

      June 6, 2013 at 9:02 pm

      Hi Donna,

      Glad you liked the tips and could relate to it:)

      Yes indeed, looking good for each other and being attractive is something we all need to do, though we do also accept the fact that with age certain things change, don’t we? ;)

      That’s so sweet to dress up for him, and I’m sure he’d be appreciating your efforts too. I need to take lessons from you there! You’re right that even if we are working from home, we need to dress up well and almost like we are going for a proper job and among people.

      Absolutely! Communication IS the key to any marriage and relationships, and not being able to talk or having problems in that field can harm things between couples. Loved that…talk through the night – and I think you share a lot of each other, including the joys and sorrows and all that’s within your heart, when you talk to each other.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us :)

  14. Neamat Tawadrous

    June 5, 2013 at 7:35 am

    Hi Harleena,

    These are great tips and every married couple should make use of them. I have to admit that I fall short in most of the tips and I need to work on myself and on my marriage. I have a wonderful husband and we love each other to death but I think we kind of took each other for granted and I need to work on this. Since I started my online business, there is a gap growing as he is not supporting my business and I hope I can work things out if I followed these tips you provided here.

    Thanks Harleena and I am so glad to learn from you as you always write about real life issues and we all learn from them. Great blog.

    Be Blessed,

    Neamat

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      Harleena Singh

      June 6, 2013 at 9:20 pm

      Hi Neamat,

      Nice to know that you liked these tips on rekindling love in a marriage :)

      Ah…you are surely not alone, and I think with time most of us fall short. I guess sometimes such reminders are needed for us to realize and get better, and bring back the spice in our relationship – isn’t it?

      I agree with you there that even though we have loving spouses and all is well between us, but things aren’t the same they were years ago because we get so involved in so many other things in lives, which add on with time – likes kids, family, work, profession, chores and others. We do take each other for granted and feel it’s all well between us, not realizing that it might be for either of us.

      I think I can understand why he’s feeling that ways, which could be because he might be feeling he’s not involved in your work as much or because you aren’t able to give the same time to your relationship as before – because you are too busy now, which happens so much so that we tend to neglect our spouses, and that in turn starts hurting our relationships or creates a slight gap as you mentioned. Hope these tips can help you in some ways :)

      Oh yes…I like writing about the real life issues as well because I also face them and always think that like me, there might be many others sailing in the same boat – and there are. I just hope these ways help them as they help me too when I write about them :)

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post :)

  15. Andrea Hypno

    June 5, 2013 at 7:51 am

    Very good article Harleena. We all take things for granted especially in our relationships and keeping things alive after years isn’t always easy nevertheless it has to be done.

    Cheers!

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      Harleena Singh

      June 6, 2013 at 11:48 pm

      Hi Andrea,

      Glad you liked the post :)

      Yes indeed, we DO take a lot of things for granted and often feel that our partners will understand, which doesn’t always happen. I agree, keeping things alive isn’t easy, but we all do because we love each other and find ways to keep the relationship as fresh as ever. I hope these ways to rekindle love in marriage help in some ways.

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  16. Vijesh

    June 5, 2013 at 9:03 am

    Wow Harleena,

    Once again touching article but sad I am not married, but I would try to follow at least few of them you mentioned here. Going on dates, doing something unusual, sending emails or greetings though no occasion just to make them feel they are special. Apart from these I also have some more personal tips but can’t share here…

    If they work in future I will reveal
    Thanks for the share…

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      Harleena Singh

      June 7, 2013 at 12:13 am

      Hi Vijesh,

      Nice to know that you liked the post, even though you aren’t married yet :)

      Yes indeed, just like a few other youngsters who aren’t as yet married, I hope these ways to rekindle love in marriage help you once you get married! But yes, there are many tips that even unmarried people can use, just as you mentioned, like sending cards, going on dates, and surprising your partner with gifts or just like that to express your love and make them feel special.

      Aha…I look forward to those other personal tips whenever you are ready to share them with us after you try them out :)

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post :)

  17. Unknown Mami

    June 5, 2013 at 9:19 am

    My husband and I have gotten much better lately at having dates and it makes a HUGE difference.

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      Harleena Singh

      June 7, 2013 at 12:30 am

      Hi Claudya – nice to have you back :)

      Ah… I surely need to take cues from your experience and share this tip with my hubby – would love to see the difference too :)

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  18. B K chowla

    June 5, 2013 at 9:42 am

    I don’t know. But,but I feel,if both the partners have given breathing space to each other in 10 odd years…perhaps,need to rekindle may not arise.

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      Harleena Singh

      June 7, 2013 at 12:35 am

      Hi BK,

      That’s another way of looking at it. Breathing space would mean give enough freedom to each other, which is indeed needed in any relationship.

      I guess we shouldn’t forget to talk and be with each other too as I feel that’s very important for any marriage or relationship – isn’t it? I think you need more of bonding and re-connecting, and getting back the old times, which you do when you try to rekindle love in marriage :)

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  19. Evan

    June 5, 2013 at 3:32 pm

    If romance doesn’t come easy for you just try to keep in mind, it’s the thought that counts, and trust me, it’s worth every effort and every moment you invest in strengthening your marriage! Not only does your spouse benefit, but your entire family as well. I believe that loving your spouse is one of the best things you can do for your children.

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      Harleena Singh

      June 7, 2013 at 12:38 am

      Hi Evan,

      Yes indeed, it’s always the thoughts that matter most, but sometimes you also need to express your love or else how does the other person know what you feel or of your thoughts. Sometimes what you feel your partner understands, might not be understood by them, till you show or tell them – isn’t it?

      I agree with your there – loving your spouse is the best thing you can do, and that’s something you are teaching your children too, so that they follow your footsteps when they grow up and have spouses of their own.

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  20. Suhas

    June 5, 2013 at 4:34 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    Once again an excellent presentation.
    Firstly I can say that if we value our marital relationship, we have to be serious about it. Though the closest but not to be taken casually as this relationship will always have more expectations that anything else.

    I really like the way you elaborate on even the very basic of a topic that writer generally ignore.
    A touch as mentioned by you is really important because we do not go and touch everyone.
    This article is a must read for married and mot married people too.

    Marriage is a beautiful arrangement and people who even had bad experience can understand this. Being careful about marital life is really the essence.

    Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece of work with us.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 7, 2013 at 1:31 am

      Hi Kumar,

      Glad you liked the post :)

      Yes indeed, every relationship and marriage needs to be appreciated and valued, and should be taken seriously and not taken for granted.

      Nice to know that you like what I write about and that means a lot to me. I guess what I experience or undergo myself also make an important part of my posts. Yes, a warm and loving touch can mean and convey a lot, for both married and unmarried people. Even parents touching their children convey their love and care that their kids value for years to come.

      I think if you can balance your marriage and work life, and rekindle love in marriage if it seems to have fizzled because of your daily routine and life, you can keep your marriage going forever.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us :)

  21. Ahsan

    June 5, 2013 at 7:29 pm

    Wow… Harleena, I have to say that you are now fully marriage counselling expert.

    Rekindle love certainly helps to build better bondage & it helps to know each other in a better & new way.

    I think all the married couples need to follow your techniques.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 7, 2013 at 1:34 am

      Hi Ahsan,

      Aha…thanks for saying those kind words, though I feel I’m still learning a lot about marriage and relationships myself – every single day :)

      Yes indeed, when you rekindle your love in your marriage, you build a better bond and deeper understanding with each other, by bringing back the good old times as before.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post :)

  22. Susan Ekins

    June 5, 2013 at 11:04 pm

    Great tips, Harleena. I agree with all except for #10 – I think each spouse should try to accept the other as they are instead.
    In September, my husband and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary. The best way that we have found to rekindle the love in our marriage was by taking a Worldwide Marriage Encounter weekend. It was not just a one-time event; rather, it gave us the tools and support to keep our marriage strong.

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      Harleena Singh

      June 7, 2013 at 1:48 am

      Hi Susan,

      Glad you liked these tips on how to rekindle love in marriage :)

      I agree with you there, and that’s what is called actual freedom. If you change yourself for someone because of the love you have for him/her, that’s another way to show your love. But if the person loves you enough he would accept you for who and as you are, and not want you to change as that’s how he loved you initially too – isn’t it?

      Wow! 30 years is a great achievement to be together in this world where people have a tough time staying together even for a few days! Never heard of this, but I think the weekend surely sounds an interesting one and I’m sure it must have helped you bond better.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us :)

  23. Corina Ramos

    June 6, 2013 at 12:53 am

    My sweetie and I recently hit a rough patch and it all had to do with my working so much.

    We had a great talk and it was the first time he shared his feelings with me, that definitely brought us closer.

    We made a promise to each other to take some time for us to reconnect and it was great. We did all you suggested.

    We worked on some home improvement projects, had lunch, we worked out…it was great.

    You’ve shared some very valuable and relationship-saving advice! I hope this will reach those folks who can use this advice. Thank you Harleena!

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      Harleena Singh

      June 7, 2013 at 2:05 am

      Hi Corina,

      Hmm…sounds like we might be sailing in the same boat because such ups and downs keep happening, especially when I get too involved in work.

      Nice to know that by talking and conversing with each other you could resolve issues, which I think is the key factor. More so, when your spouse is able to understand or becomes a part of your work, there is much deeper love and understanding – isn’t there?

      Don’t you wish you had more of such moments of togetherness? Yes, we need to work to create such moments by fixing a time or date that we can take out to be with those we love, or else we tend to get lost in the daily rut of life.

      I also hope these ways to rekindle love in marriage work for those who might need them.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us :)

  24. Ana

    June 6, 2013 at 1:37 am

    Great list. I was thinking “Yes”, “Yes, “Yes” all the way through until I got to #10 – I don’t agree with that one. I think you are more attractive to your partner if you are a woman with a mind of your own and you’re not doing everything just to please him.

    I sometimes think what you don’t do is as important as the things you do – if you always treat your partner with kindness, you won’t say hurtful things that are not easily forgotten, for example.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 7, 2013 at 2:18 am

      Welcome to the blog Ana!

      Glad you liked the list and could relate to it :)

      Ah…the 10th one, just as I was mentioning to a few friend’s above, is more about how much freedom you have in your marriage and whether your partner accepts you for who and as you are. Yes, if you change for for the love you have for him/her, that’s also good. But if your spouse loves you, would he/she really want you to change – I guess not, and that’s what makes the relationship and a marriage all the more beautiful.

      I agree with you there – having a mind of your own and being who you are is what attracts a person, in most of the cases because some partners like their spouse to be like who they want them to be like, and they are more than willing to change and become like that too because they love them. I guess it all depends from person to person and the relationship they share with their spouse.

      Yes indeed, in most of the cases, if you do things that you shouldn’t they are easily forgotten and forgiven.

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  25. Shalu

    June 6, 2013 at 4:24 am

    Very fascinating Harleena. I like the idea of going to a motel for the weekend. The trouble is if you try to leave the children at your parents house, they will sense that you are going away for a dirty weekend. What do you do think?

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      Harleena Singh

      June 7, 2013 at 2:29 am

      Hi Shalu,

      Oh yes…it surely is a nice idea going to a motel if you can make it. I know what you mean, but I think if you start doing this when kids are young they get used to it. If your kids are older, make some excuse – I’m sure they’d not be able to make that out ;)

      And if they are teens or older still, they understand everything and in-fact sometimes encourage you to go and give them a breather! So, it always gets better with time. It’s just that we need to decide on a day and date – and get away!

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  26. anis

    June 6, 2013 at 4:38 am

    Hi Harleena this is an awesome post

    I think that I should bring this post to my mother to read she will find it interesting for sure more than me :D

    Since this post has no relationship with My Girlfriend :D

    I love my GF a lot :D
    Thanks for sharing Harleena :D

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      Harleena Singh

      June 7, 2013 at 2:33 am

      Hi Anis,

      Glad you liked the post :)

      Ah..yes, I know you don’t need this one as yet because you aren’t married, though I hope your Mom likes it :)

      However, if you read through carefully, there are many things like date nights, gifts, surprises etc, that even unmarried lots like you can use. I guess most youngsters dating their girlfriends who commented above mentioned these points.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views :)

  27. Martina Mariu

    June 6, 2013 at 5:18 am

    Such powerful tips Harleena, as always – Date night is a great one as well as making time to have fun together (I guess these kind of overlap?) I also like the one about keeping communication lines open for sure!

    Thanks for sharing…

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 7, 2013 at 2:43 am

      Hi Martina,

      Glad you liked these tips to rekindle love in marriage :)

      Yes, date nights work well and if you can manage to have fun during such times it’s great, or else taking a break or get-away is a nice way to bring back the good times in your relationship.

      Communication is of course vital in any marriage or relationship, without which nothing really works.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views :)

  28. Annie Andre

    June 6, 2013 at 3:01 pm

    Such practical advice Harleena but so many of us don’t even follow the simple tactics to keep your marriage on fire. Myself included. One of the things I insist on with my husband is to have a date night every week. All the rest seems to fall into place.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 7, 2013 at 2:48 am

      Hi Annie,

      Yes indeed – though these are such easy and simple ways to rekindle love in marriage, how many of us really make the effort to reconnect with each other? Like you and so many others, it includes me too :)

      I agree with you – if we can manage a get-away time together or a date night, everything WILL fall into place on it’s own. I just wish that happens, though we have to make an effort to make things work – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post :)

  29. Hiten

    June 6, 2013 at 3:21 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    What a wonderful post and it has given me some amazing advice for what to do to ensure I rekindle love in my marriage, once I do get married.

    I’ve also bookmarked this one for future reference (I have quite few of your posts bookmarked for the future!) for when I’m married.

    You summed it up brilliantly when you said that the love is always there between husband and wife. However, it can get hidden by the layers of unhelpful emotions, which arise when the couple forget to do, or neglect to do the things you described in your post such as making time for each other, looking good, touching, communicating etc.

    Have a wonderful break with your family, Harleena! You really do deserve a good break. I’ll probably take a holiday in September or October.

    Take care and catch up with you soon. :-)

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 9, 2013 at 8:30 pm

      Hi Hiten,

      Nice to know that you could relate so well to the post :)

      I’m sure you’d keep your marriage life and fresh and wouldn’t have to use these ways to rekindle love in marriage.

      That’s so sweet of you to have bookmarked the posts on marriage, and I do hope they help you whenever your time comes, which I hope is soon :)

      Oh yes…love always remains I strongly feel, but it does get camouflaged with the little problems spouses face. Some partners can’t take it all up and give up too soon, while others live it through thick and thin, which is how it should be. I think everything can work out well enough if both partners spend time in loving and understanding each other better, and the ways mentioned here are a few ways they can easily do that.

      Thank you so much Hiten, and I sure am having a nice time with my Dad presently, before heading for another small break to the hills when I think I will have no access to the Internet – the real get-away :)

      Ah…September and October are nice months with a lovely weather our end too. Hope you have a nice break that time, which I feel you too need.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post :)

  30. Cathy Taughinbaugh

    June 6, 2013 at 9:20 pm

    Great suggestions here Harleena.

    I like No. 8- Always keep your channels of communication open. When you communicate in a clear way, it is much easier to work through any issues that might come up. Your list is a keeper for anyone looking to have a happy marriage. Take care.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 9, 2013 at 8:39 pm

      Hi Cathy – nice to have you back :)

      Absolutely! I think if couples don’t talk or communicate, they can’t really proceed further in their relationship tips because they won’t be able to express their feelings and emotions, which are so important in any relationship. I do hope these way to rekindle love in marriage help people in more ways than one.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us :)

  31. Barry Wells

    June 6, 2013 at 10:25 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    These are fantastic tips that every married person should read.

    It’s my 24th wedding anniversary in August and we’re happier now than we’ve ever been.

    It hasn’t always been that way and I did once ask for a divorce (in temper), we’ve had our rough patches and worked through them. A big step in doing so was that I realised that even though I had lots of “friends” it was always my wife that was there for me when I fell over, (had problems).

    It was always my wife that was by my side, helping me over whatever issue i was facing at the time and my fair weather friends were no-where to be seen.

    Since then I’ve shown her how much she really means to me and tell her how much I love her on a regular basis.

    We TALK to each other now and make decisions between us.

    I try my hardest to never take her for granted and always offer to help her whenever I can.

    I’ve also left the notes everywhere and they go down well :)

    Thanks Harleena, hope you’re well.
    Barry

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      Harleena Singh

      June 9, 2013 at 9:08 pm

      Hi Barry,

      Glad you liked these tips and could relate to it. :)

      That’s awesome indeed! Being married for 24 years is a great achievement I think, and congratulations for reaching this stage in an age where every second person is finding reasons to separate or part ways.

      I agree with you there – there are ups and downs in all relationships, but we don’t just break bonds because of those. Instead, we have to learn to work our way around with deeper love and understanding, if they aren’t. Yes indeed, no matter how many family and friend’s we might have, it’s always our spouses that we go back to and they are the ones always there supporting us through thick or thin. Sadly though, few of us really appreciate this fact and often tend to take them for granted.

      It’s so nice to see you talk so fondly about your wife, which again very few husbands really would do openly. I’m sure she would appreciate you so much if she saw how you felt about her, though I’m sure you must be leaving no stone unturned to express your feelings towards her.

      Ah…a husband who is always ready to help and doesn’t take her for granted would be every wife’s dream, and I’m glad my hubby falls in that category too. Love notes work well too, though been a long time since we used them ourselves.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us :)

  32. Anne

    June 6, 2013 at 11:51 pm

    Well said, Harleena.

    These are very good points for rekindling love in marriage. It’s so easy to become complacent when the kids, the mortgage, the bills etc come between you. We always have to remember our love for our partner and never take them for granted.

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      Harleena Singh

      June 9, 2013 at 9:16 pm

      Hi Anne,

      Nice to know that you could relate to these ways to rekindle love in marriage :)

      Absolutely! It’s mostly these other small things that come in-between the love a couple shares, and all of this happens so slowly that one really can’t make out how it starts having an affect on your relationship and marriage.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views :)

  33. Anna

    June 7, 2013 at 12:20 am

    Awesome blog post!

    I must say you are right on point. I have been married for 32 years and what is written here is much needed advice! Too many marriage our failing when all that is needed is to rekindle it.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 9, 2013 at 10:01 pm

      Hi Anna,

      Glad you liked these tips on how to rekindle love in marriage. :)

      Nice to hear that you’ve been married that long, which I feel is a great achievement. I guess you’d be the right person to throw more light on this subject and guide the rest of us. Yes indeed, marriages need to be rekindled first before taking the easier option of ending them – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  34. Bren

    June 7, 2013 at 4:57 am

    Hi Harleena!

    I think we all hit rough patches here and there but most importantly, we need to know how to continue through those rough patches and continue to grow. It’s happened in my relationship and I work at trying to make it better while the hubs does nothing. I’m sure a lot of marriages are like that to an extent, one realizes there’s an issue and tries to work on it while the other stays in denial.

    However, I still believe you can overcome and rekindle some of what was lost. I believe a couple needs to have the ups and downs in order to grow stronger in a relationship, that is, IF the couple just doesn’t take the easy way out and end the relationship.

    Awesome post Harleena. I’m so glad I bookmarked it so I could come back, reread, and comment.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 9, 2013 at 10:03 pm

      Hi Bren,

      You are absolutely right! Which marriage doesn’t have problems, and which couple doesn’t go through the ups and downs of life? But what matters most is that you overcome those challenges by staying together and working things out. Yes, if things are out of hand, it’s a different matter, otherwise – talk out and resolve issues, rather than taking the easier way out of parting way.

      I can well understand what you mean. Yes, sometimes the efforts to make things work are only one-sided, which I feel is only half the effort to make a marriage or any relationship work. And in most of such cases the trying can sometimes become tiring at the end of the day, when a person might just give it all up. Oh yes…a lot of marriages are like that for sure :)

      I agree with you there that things aren’t lost if you feel there are things lacking in your marriage, or if it’s not like good old times. You always have an option of rekindling the love in your marriage and make it work for you – the choice is always in your hands at the end of the day. Yes, we do need the co-operation of our partner also or it gets tough.

      Oh yes…the spice in life remains when you have a little up and down in your relationship because that’s what develops a deeper understanding of each other at the end of the day.

      Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. I’m so glad you bookmarked it and came back again – I appreciate that. :)

  35. Adrienne

    June 7, 2013 at 7:35 am

    We need to call you the “Love Doctor” Harleena. You always give such wonderful advice when it comes to love and relationships. Rekindling the love in a marriage is a topic I’m sure a lot of couples need to absorb.

    I went to Nashville a few weeks ago to my nephews high school graduation as you know and an old friend was there. She informed me that she and her husband of 38 years were divorcing. That made me so sad that couples aren’t willing to do the work to make the marriage work. That’s a long time together with kids and grandkids to call it quits. Of course in their case like a lot of couples, he strayed outside the marriage and she was past the point of even caring anymore. I can’t say what I’d do in that type of situation but I would not tolerate cheating at all.

    Luckily for me I don’t need any of this advice so at least that’s a good thing.

    Appreciate you sharing this wonderful topic and I only wish most couples didn’t need to read this. Unfortunately there are probably more that do then don’t.

    Hope you’re still enjoying yourself.

    ~Adrienne

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      June 9, 2013 at 10:16 pm

      Hi Adrienne,

      Ah…Love Doctor! That’s a nice compliment I must say, though I feel I learn a lot many things every single day about my marriage and relationships – so I myself am still a student :)

      Yes indeed, I think this post on how to rekindle love in marriage is something most people could relate to, and I loved to hear all they had to say, which was quite similar to what I shared because each one is either already following these way or they are learning more about how to work on their marriage, and these tips would help them rekindle the love that might have faded with time.

      Yes, being married for 38 years is a long time indeed, and then to think of a divorce when you have kids and grand kids – it’s all too sad. I wish they would instead worked things out, so that their remaining years would be spent together because it’s more at an older age that you need each other.

      Ah…straying out of marriage is a major reason why couples split, and if he did that while they were together, she has her valid reasons I guess. Or if he strayed because of their problems, then she needs to realize this fact and they both need to make an effort to make things work. But it all comes down to IF they are really ready to rekindle love in marriage at all or not.

      You surely are lucky to be away and free from all of these things. I also hope and pray most couples don’t need to go through these way, but being married myself I know we all need to go through this list once in a while and bring back that love.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views. I sure am having a nice time with my Dad presently, before we head towards the hills for another few days, when I might not have any access to the Internet – the real get-away :)

  36. Vishnu

    June 7, 2013 at 10:13 am

    Your blogs are awesome, your topic are very interesting, i am a geeker , i don’t know much about relationship love and all ,but i enjoy your blog because it help me in understanding relationship.

    i also have some personal question that i want to discuss with you.

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      Harleena Singh

      June 9, 2013 at 10:20 pm

      Hi Vishnu,

      Thank you for your kind words of appreciation, and it’s nice to know that you enjoy my posts here :)

      I do hope that you gather more knowledge from these posts that would help you in your relationships and marriage later in life.

      Please feel free to ask anything you wish to, and if I can, I’d surely try and help you.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views :)

  37. Karen Jolly

    June 7, 2013 at 7:56 pm

    Harleena – what fantastic points! I’ve been married 31 years now (where did the years go!) and everyone of these points is SO important. Keeping the spark in your love life is a vital piece of who we are – it’s easy to get lazy and fall into ruts. But if we want a wonderful relationship it takes putting the love spark into it every day – it’s not work…it’s pure JOY!

    xoxo
    Karen

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      Harleena Singh

      June 9, 2013 at 10:31 pm

      Hi Karen,

      Nice to know that you liked these points shared on how to rekindle love in marriage :)

      Wow! 31 years, just like a few others who have been married that long – commendable indeed, especially when you have marriages breaking every second day. Yes indeed, it’s so easy to fall into the daily rut of life and get carried away with other things that come in-between couples. I agree, it shouldn’t be us trying to work at our relationships, but we should be happy to put back the spark into it on a daily basis, though it’s rare in most cases I guess.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post :)

  38. Janet Stephenson

    June 7, 2013 at 9:18 pm

    Beautiful and timely post, Harleena!

    When I was married, we could have used these tips before we grew so far apart that we couldn’t remember why we married each other in the first place.

    I have often felt that complacency is the biggest danger to married couples – your guide helps to overcome that, even if you’re in the midst of apathy toward your partner.

    Have fun with your hubby – he certainly is lucky to have a partner who is committed to keeping things fresh!

    Janet

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      Harleena Singh

      June 9, 2013 at 10:43 pm

      Welcome to the blog Janet – nice to have you over :)

      Ah…I wish you could’ve used these tips when you needed them the most. I guess some things aren’t just meant to be, and perhaps there is a time for everything too – isn’t there?

      I do hope this post helps people overcome their problems in their marriages and relationships. Oh yes…I sure intend rekindling the love in my marriage by trying out most of these ways myself, more so, because we are going for a family holiday :)

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  39. Mary Stephenson

    June 8, 2013 at 7:22 am

    Hi Harleena

    Ah, so you are getting a lot of feedback on #10…I do get exactly what you are saying and it is sometimes needed.

    It will be 47 years in July…that seems like a heck of a long time! There have been times that I would have wanted to walk out but didn’t have anywhere to go other than leave the country and go back home. That was not an option I wanted to do, so I stuck it out through the tough times and it does take work. It is never happily ever after.

    Probably what kept us together other than me having no good alternative, was that he was always more in love with me than I was with him. (No secret to either of us.) But what we did do was become really good friends. We are each others cheerleader and this is a big key into making the marriage work.

    I think many quit so easily when things get tough, because they never dreamed it would at times hurt. We are all human and we make stupid mistakes and are inconsiderate at times and even self-centered at times also. It must be difficult for someone to really love us all the time.

    Not having the same likes and dreams can cause a lot of friction in a relationship. We both love cats, want to move to the country, love crafts, love to window shop or go to trinket shops, hate sports, like a lot of the same TV programs, we both like most of the same food. Don\’t have many disagreements, we go for a walk everyday, he helps with the dishes and yard work. We grocery shop together. If I need him to help me or take me somewhere he is eager to do so.

    Sure we could work some on your list, and I mean really work some on your list. But it is work to keep a marriage alive.

    Great post.

    Mary

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      Harleena Singh

      June 9, 2013 at 11:03 pm

      Hi Mary,

      Yes indeed, the last point surely is getting a lot of feedback – and am glad you could relate to it :)

      Your marriage is an absolute example for all of us because it’s not easy being married for that long nowadays when some marriages don’t even last for more than a few days. You would be the best person to guide us all and throw more light on this matter.

      I agree with your there – we all sometime or the other have those ‘walk-out’ phases when the going gets tough – but we don’t. We stay through it all and cope with things. We learn to manage our relationships and work to get things better in our marriages – but as you mentioned, it does take a LOT of effort, work, and most importantly – will-power to make things work, isn’t it?

      That’s wonderful indeed to know that he loved you more, and eventually it is your friendship and being together that really makes it all work. You are SO right – we are all humans and we all commit mistakes, but to accept each other for as and who they are is what really matters. Sadly though, this is where most marriages crumble because the acceptance isn’t there.

      Absolutely! Not having similar likes or dislikes can be another reason for the drift, though there are many marriages that carry on with no similarities in either of their interests – I wonder how they manage though. I loved your list, which shows that it’s not all about the likes or dislikes, but about how you do things together and that’s all that matters to keep you bonded and connected I think.

      Ah…I don’t think you need to really work on anything from this list as you are way beyond and managing beautifully to keep your marriage so alive and fresh. Yes, you are working towards and making an effort that is showing results.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your pearls of wisdom with us. :)

  40. Sharky Liu

    June 11, 2013 at 9:22 pm

    Hello Harlena,

    Yes I agree that it is important to stay attractive even after marriage. Take time to take care of our physical appearance and not become obese or unattractive. I know this is kinda hard to do especially when the couple have children but I’m sure it’s achievable. For women, maybe you can go to a salon at least once or twice a month. Pamper yourselves ladies. And for us guys, well I think a weekly visit to the gym will do us good.

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      Harleena Singh

      June 11, 2013 at 11:16 pm

      Hi Sharky,

      It sure is, though for some people as they age, it’s alright to accept each other as they are, so it all depends from partners to partners. :)

      I agree, it is achievable even when we have kids, though most people stop taking care of themselves and put on weight. However, I think that their spouses, in most of the cases, accept them as they are – don’t they? I guess with age and maturity the appearances don’t matter much to many, while for others it does. Oh yes…visiting the salon or parlor should never stop as that’s mainly to tone your skin and yourself, which anyone can do. Even men and women, both should maintain themselves, by exercises and walks, even if they can’t reduce the weight at times. Doing that much in itself is a great achievement I’d say.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views :)

  41. Robert Pierce

    February 27, 2014 at 5:07 am

    Very good article. My wife and I became into this situation and I didn’t realize what I was doing wrong over the years. I have done everything you describe (before I found your article) and it might have been too late. It has had zero affect on her feelings. The feelings are gone. Perhaps she is blocking them. We are currently separated so she can “figure herself out and see what she wants” but this article is dead on. Guys, do these things on a daily basis before it is too late.

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