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10 Stages Of Love Relationship That Most Couples Go Through


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A couple enjoying one of the best stages of love relationship

Did you know that there are different stages of love relationship that most couples go through?

Can you guess presently which stage of relationship you’re in with your loved one?

Well, no matter how the love starts, or what is your kind of love – nearly all couples go through the stages of love in their relationship as mentioned in this post.

Understanding the different phases of love helps couples to move successfully into a better long term relationship.

I won’t repeat about what love is, as I’ve done that in my post on understanding true love between two people. But, I’d certainly like to say that love always grows and changes.

The excitement and kind of romance that brings two people together in the first place is very different from the love that emerges ten or thirty years later.

I’m sure the married lots would agree with me there! But if you’re unmarried, I wonder which stage of love relationship is your best one so far – do let me know that :)

“Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” ~ Robert Frost.

Different Stages of Love Relationship

Without drifting away from the topic, let me share with you the various stages of love that most of you unknowingly undergo in your relationships.

I’ve also mentioned the 10 C’s  in the colored boxes below each stage point, which are the terms that I feel best associate each of the stages of love relationship in every couple’s life. Hope you find them helpful. :)

1- Romance & infatuation stage

The romantic stage is the best one I would say, and I can see many heads nodding in agreement with me there too!

This is the first stage in every love relationship, and most of you must be having fond memories of going through it – right?

When two people are attracted to each other, they get infatuated. They put their best foot forward, and are reeling with romance and passion.

What happens in such a stage you might ask? Well, simply put – you just can’t stop thinking of your partner – they are always on your mind!

The old saying “love is blind” is really apt in this stage because it truly is :)

This ‘enchantment’ phase brings in a lot of affection, laughter, playfulness, and all the negative traits are ignored. Lot of emphasis is laid on the similarities you both share.

People in this stage feel high when they’re together, and can’t wait to be with each other when they’re apart. There are butterflies in the stomach, and your fluttery hearts don’t stop beating for each other.

As I write about it, I remember the time I went through this phase – love was always in the air.

Most people think they’ve found their soul mate when they are in this stage. But behind the curtains it’s actually the chemistry of love that is taking place.

All of this makes you feel euphoric, triggers positive moods, and boosts your energy levels. There is change in the personalities, sex drive, and you might even enter a state of fearlessness.

With the chemical changes in the brain, sometimes you might even overlook major flaws in your partner, and rush into marriage before actually crossing this phase.

I know this romantic feeling feels great while it lasts, but it doesn’t last forever even if you want it to.

Captivation is the term that defines this phase, and is called by lovers as the sweetest among all stages of love relationship in life.

2- Disturbance stage

After a few months of being together with each other when the ‘love chemicals’ wear off, couples return to their normal selves with normal moods and sex drive.

Everything starts getting back to normal, and instead of only focusing on each other, couples become more involved with their daily duties and work.

Those who aren’t aware of this normal stage of love in a relationship might think they’ve fallen out of love. Sometimes they might even get upset by their partner’s lack of attention on them.

Small bickering and fights are a normal part of this stage of love. But sometimes confrontation is healthy as it helps you understand things better.

When you learn to confront and resolve issues and conflicts, it helps your relationship mature.

If you’re in this stage, you might wonder why your sex drives doesn’t match your partners, or why theirs lessened, or why you annoy or anger your partner more now.

You might make assumptions and opinion about your partner, and your expectations also tend to increase form each other.

When these assumptions and opinions differ in real life, it might leave you feeling ecstatic or depressed.

What you need to do is hold on! The best is yet to come – even if you see a drop in your love relationship. Keep making the efforts and hope for the best.

Confrontation is the keyword that best defines this phase, because among all the stages of love relationship, this phase is really the testing period for a couple.

break up love relationship

3- Changing stage

You might be having a lot of expectations from your partner. Sometimes you might even try and mold them to be like the perfect partner you want to see them as.

It’s like a power struggle going on, and sometimes relationships end if one side dominates the other.

Instead of seeing the similarities as you did in the romance stage, you focus on the differences and flaws of your partner.

Some couples might even break up and move on at this stage. This happens especially with those who date often, or don’t fully commit, and look for love but find disappointment instead.

On the other hand, some couples survive through the pain and dissatisfaction of a relationship.

They learn that a good relationship involves compromise and sacrifice, and you can improve your relationship with kindness.

It is observed that relationships are often at their all-time low after a decade or 10 years. If you cross this stage, you might as well carry on for the rest of your life.

Confusion is the word I’d use to describe this phase as it’s the most critical of all stages of love relationship.

4- Understanding stage

Those of you who’ve crossed all the above stages of love in your relationship and reached so far – it means you’ve begun to understand your partners better now.

The understanding stage is a lot about give and take, and each partner tries to change the other to suit his or her needs.

Couples in this stage remain blissful and happy with each other, and they keep making efforts to work on their relationships to make things work.

In this stage, both partners recognize and accept each other for who and what they are. They need to avoid misunderstanding and understand each other better than before.

The stages of love in a relationship aren’t easy, but if you know how to move from one stage to another, it’s not all that tough either.

To get past this stage, accept each other’s strengths and weaknesses. You need to focus on the positives, let go of the negatives, and explore each other’s goals and interest.

Compromise best describes this stage, which sets the foundation for stability and defines an upward swing in the love relationship.

Man comforting woman in a love relationship

5- Discovery stage

Once a couple passes the above stages of love relationship, all the unrealistic expectations tend to fade away.

Both sides start to discover more of each other, and make efforts knowing how they both can fit and work things together.

Couples start defining and clarifying their roles, commitment, and compatibility towards each other. They need to explore their relationship needs and their partners too.

They need to decide on questions like how much time do they like to spend together or remain apart, how does each side like to express love, or receive it etc.

Once couples are able to communicate their needs effectively to one another, they can avoid a lot of other things that can make a relationship bitter.

They need to avoid unhealthy behaviors like avoidance, withdrawals, criticism, and defensiveness. Instead, focus on acceptance, compassion, forgiveness, and patience.

Consolidation is the term for this phase that really sets the stage for real happiness in a love relationship.

6- Connection stage

Next comes the phase of love in a relationship in which the couples go deeper into trust, commitment, and connect with each other.

This is the stage when they experience intimacy. They are more supportive of each other and share each other’s experiences as well.

Problems or ups and downs are part and parcel of every relationship. However, the trust both partners will have and the loyalty towards each other will carry them through these small problems.

In this stage, you stop thinking about your own individual selves, and shift the focus to what works best for the relationship.

It’s actually a stage of attachment when you feel connected, are one-to-one, and love each other a great deal. There is more of team spirit and oneness that further strengthens the relationship.

This perhaps is the stage when you feel like a perfect match or made for each other. Some of you might even decide to get married once you have come this far.

Companionship is the term that defines this phase, as it’s one of the best stages of love relationship according to me.

7- Doubting stage

Ah..don’t most of you come across this stage when doubt starts to creep in? Mostly, this stage comes after many years of being together with each other in a relationship.

You might start thinking about your exes, your past relationships, or start comparing your present partner with another.

In this stage, everything is related to your relationship. If you’re unhappy and hurt in your relationship – you tend to blame it on your partner for putting you through such trying times.

You might even start comparing your relationship with other couples, and other relationships. Remember, you can cross this stage of love in your relationship if you aren’t dull and boring.

Comparison is the word I’d use here, as this is one of the most critical of all stages of love relationship in your life.

8- Sexual stage

In this stage, your sex life plays a major role. Either the sex drives of both partners may change or one of you might get disinterested or over interested in sex.

One of you may give up on sex, or keep looking for ways to make it more exciting. However, if there is a difference in sexual interests, one of you might even end up having an affair.

The answer lies to find creative ways to make your sex life more exciting, which might make your relationship better and bond both of you better.

Coupling is the apt term to describe this stage of love relationship.

Senior couple in pure love relationship

9- Trust stage

This is the ultimate stage when both partners love and trust each other totally. However, sometimes this kind of complete trust can also make you take each other for granted – so be careful there.

From all the above stages of love in a relationship, it’s in this stage that you know the direction of your relationship. You are happy with each other, and know what to expect from each other too.

Even though there is total bliss and understanding in this stage, don’t stop appreciating and take your partner lightly. That’s because love needs to be worked up or nurtured all the time.

Remember, love is like a plant that needs nourishment to keep it alive!

If you don’t keep your love fresh and alive, and fail to express your love to your lover more often, it can be rekindled by someone else.

Completeness is how I would describe this phase, as among all the stage of love relationship this is the one where you feel complete.

10- Spiritual stage

This is among the toughest stages of love relationship to achieve for most people, though not impossible.

It’s more a willingness to help your partner fulfill his/her potential, without any selfish motive.

There is ongoing personal and spiritual growth for both partners. Unconditional love is perhaps achieved in this stage, when you become the best version of yourself.

I haven’t reached this stage yet, so can’t write about it much!

Conjugation or unification best defines this stage of love relationship.

I’m sure those who have been in a relationship for a while, must’ve gone through all or most of these relationship stages. And for those who are still to fall in love, I’m sure you’d be well prepared now. :)

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ~ C.G. Jung

Once you are aware of these stages of love in a relationship, you know what to avoid and what to do so that you can easily move into a long term relationship, and let your love deepen and blossom further.

Remember, good relationships need to be worked on all the time. You need to take out time, be aware, practice the skills, and take the risks too. Most importantly – just love your partner with all your heart.

“Love, and you shall be loved.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Over to you

Do you believe there are different stages of love relationship, and have you gone through them? If you are in love, how would you best define the stage of your love relationship? Share your experiences.

 

Photo Credit: FreeDigitalPhotos



Profile photo of Harleena Singh

About Harleena Singh

Harleena Singh is a positive thinker and a freelance writer. She loves to write inspiring and thought provoking posts on self-improvement, family, relationships, health, and other aspects of life. She's not another personal development guru, but just an average person with great life experiences. She's also a blogger, who loves to share her blogging knowledge and experiences. Network with her on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+..


75 Comments

  1. Oluwaseun Babajide

    April 26, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    I agree that there are different stages in a relationship. Relationship starts off with infatuation and goes through several stages along the way. I think this is just a reality check, :D. For me, the understanding stage is number one, agreed. This is where we get to know each other better. Long conversation, late night talk, dinner, etc, the problem here is that some of us give up too early at this stage, because it takes time before jumping to stage 2.
    I always give up at stage 7; whenever I have a doubt, I just give up and end it all.
    Thanks for sharing, perfect post.

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      Harleena Singh

      April 26, 2013 at 9:20 pm

      Hi Seun,

      Absolutely! There are different stages of love relationship, though we really don’t come to know of them when we are going through those stages – isn’t it? But yes, there is no hard and fast rule that everyone would go through all of these stages, or they won’t experience one of these stages before the other. What I’d mentioned here is the normal way things move, which can of course change or differ from one person to another.

      Aha…I agree about the understanding stage and if we don’t understand our partner, we really can’t move ahead. But I’m sure you would’ve crossed the first stage of romance or infatuation before going to that one. ;)

      Nice that you went back in time and remembered those late night talks, candle light dinners etc., and I agree, most people give up if what they look for in a partner isn’t what they get. I guess you need to be patient and hang on!

      #7 is a critical stage alright, but if you don’t give up and move ahead, you are through a major hurdle I would say. However, I’m glad you are married now and must’ve gone through most of these stages and enjoyed each one, though some of them I know cause a lot of hurt and pain too. I guess all of this is part and parcel of falling in love :)

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. :)

      • Dhruv Bhagat

        May 3, 2013 at 12:06 pm

        Hi Harleena,

        This is yet another detailed and awesome post…

        All the stages you mentioned in this post always come in the life of each and every person..

        But, one should always be positive and be polite to every one to enjoy the life…

        No one likes you if you are rude and negative..

        BTW, brilliantly written :)

        • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

          Harleena Singh

          May 3, 2013 at 2:13 pm

          Hi Dhruv – nice to see you back after long :)

          Glad you liked the post :)

          Yes indeed, most couples do undergo these stages of love relationships in their lives, though when they occur in their lives, differs from person to person.

          I agree with your point – being polite is the very basic for any relationship to work.

          Thanks for stopping by, and congratulations on your new site on dating too :)

  2. Punam

    April 26, 2013 at 4:58 pm

    That’s an interesting article, Harleena, but I don’t think the stages are strictly in the order prescribed above. :) Kabhi Kabhi doubting stage comes right there on the top, and staying right parallel through all the other stages until won over, while sometimes, trust stage precedes the disturbance stage.

    In their singularity, I agree that a couple does pass through most of the stages. Really a well-written post, and the final highlights are great way of emphasizing.

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      Harleena Singh

      April 26, 2013 at 9:27 pm

      Hi Punam – good to see you after long :)

      I agree, these stage of love relationship can come in any order as it suits people, though this is the way most of them fall in line generally.

      Ah…if there is doubt right in the start, I don’t think one can progress to the other stages without clearing that doubt. Or once you clear the clouds, then you start with #1 – all depends on the couple going through these phases. For me, if I were to doubt someone, I don’t think I’d be able to love that person at all, leave alone carry on through all the other stages!

      Glad you liked the post, and thanks for stopping by too. :)

  3. Koj Tajo

    April 26, 2013 at 5:08 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    Wow! I felt like if the post was very much designed for me. I admire all the 10 stages you have mentioned. Your analysis of ‘Disturbance Stage’ is out of this world. First, I never thought that this could be one stage in love relationship. Surely, it is one stage to which everyone should handle with positive mentality. This is one stage, I feel, which make or break a relationship even before it is started in real sense. I feel like if my love relationship has reached the 9th stage i.e. TRUST.

    But, still I feel like these all stage can act like a viscous cycle and so we need to understand in which stage we actually are.
    I am well assured that you have covered up as many stages of love relationship as there can be.
    Anyways thanks a lot for an eye-opening point of ‘Disturbance Stage’.

    In that, I am taking a wonderful wonderful thing from Aha-now. :)
    Regards
    – Koj

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      Harleena Singh

      April 26, 2013 at 9:54 pm

      Hi Koj,

      Nice to know you felt that way :)

      These aren’t any full and final stages of love relationship, and some people might not even believe so many stages do exist. I guess I just thought of breaking them down as best what I’ve understood them so far.

      The disturbance or conflict stage we all do go through isn’t it? But that’s also when the real understanding of each other comes in – so one needs to hang in there because that stage will pass.

      Ah…nice to know you have reached the trusting stage, which is wonderful indeed. Oh yes…it’s not necessary that because you have crossed these stages, they won’t come into your life again – they can if you aren’t careful in your relationship, or don’t keep working to make it stronger.

      Yes, I’ve crossed all of these stages, though the spiritual one is something I’m working at as yet, which I think will come in it’s won time. :)

      Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. It makes me happy when people can learn and take back something from my posts. :)

  4. Babanature

    April 26, 2013 at 6:27 pm

    Hello Harleena,

    I know that there are stages in love but i haven’t actually passed these stages. I only ended at the first stage of your list which is infatuation :) . I thought we were going somewhere until we started seeing our differences. well O guess we took infatuation for love and messed up the blissful moments.

    Your tips and steps really did take me back and i say; I’d really love to experience these steps but till the time comes. So tell me Harleena; have you gone through all the steps you mentioned?

    Thanks for the post and do have a lovely day and a kind weekend ahead :D

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      April 26, 2013 at 10:19 pm

      Hi Babanature,

      Aha…that’s awesome if you are still at that stage – it’s the best one to be in. More so, coming from someone who is married is wonderful indeed – I wish we were like you to remain in that stage :)

      I guess you might have even gone through some of these stages but not known about them until now. Yes, maybe with time you might go through a few more from the list.

      I like the way everyone is asking me if I’ve gone through these stages of love relationship, which I have, except for #10 – I still have to go through that one and feel it’ll come with it’s own time. One can’t force such things :)

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences, and have a nice weekend too. :)

  5. Evan

    April 26, 2013 at 7:32 pm

    Wow, there are so many stages, I wouldn’t even think about it. Well, I can think of at least 4 according to different life periods, but not so many, and what is the most impressive, all the stages are really taking place in life.

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      Harleena Singh

      April 26, 2013 at 10:26 pm

      Hi Evan,

      Yes, generally these are the stages most of us go through, though they can be more or less, depending from person to person. Some might even experiences certain stages before the ones stated here, or after them too – again it depends on the couple in the relationship.

      There can be 3-4-5 stages, but I thought of breaking them down further for better understanding. It’s good to know that these stages are really taking place in your life. :)

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  6. Ahsan

    April 26, 2013 at 10:41 pm

    Hello Harleena,

    Certainly there will be different stage in love relationship. Love relationship is not a bed of roses. It has ups & downs. Everyone has to face this situation in a certain stage of life.

    I think if we trust each other, then the problem doesn’t move to deeper. Thanks for sharing all stages which happens regularly in a conjugal life. It will be a good lesson for all married & unmarried person too

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      April 26, 2013 at 10:48 pm

      Hi Ahsan,

      I agree – love is never easy and you need to keep working on these stages of love relationship to keep your love ever young and fresh. Ups and downs are part of life, but then that’s what teaches us so much more about life too – isn’t it? It’s the same with love. So, if there is a tough stage, we need to remember that it will pass if you hold on there, and work for it. Of course, if there are problems right from start, it’s good such relationships don’t carry on further.

      Hope the post helps those in love and others too.

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post :)

  7. Anna

    April 26, 2013 at 10:54 pm

    The spiritual stage is quite difficult indeed. It takes someone very secure to venture into that. You don’t know what changes it might cause in your relationship and how your partner might transform as they go into deeper self discovery and realize their true and full potential. Lots of unconditional love and patience will get you through it.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      April 26, 2013 at 11:28 pm

      Welcome to the blog Anna!

      I agree with you there – the last stage is the toughest I feel. Firstly, because you need to cross all the ups and downs of the earlier stages, and secondly because as you mentioned, you never know what direction you or your partner might take to go within themselves. It can be rather challenging, especially when one of the partners isn’t ready to cross over to this stage, and the other one is already there.

      Yes indeed, this stage I feel comes more with age as I see a few elders in my family who have come this far. You do need to perfectly blend and know each other, and be ready for anything when you reach this stage.

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

  8. Corina Ramos

    April 26, 2013 at 11:23 pm

    Hi Harleena!

    Wonderful post :)

    I certainly recognize these stages and thankfully we are now in stages 8-10.

    I think you’re right about the disturbance stage in that some couples end relationships when the first sign of indifference appears. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

    We all have to work at our relationship to make it through the tough stages in order to enjoy the last three :)

    Hope you’re having a wonderful day!

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      Harleena Singh

      April 26, 2013 at 11:40 pm

      Hi Corina,

      Glad you liked the post and could recognize these stages of love relationship that you’ve gone through :)

      Ah..I think most married lots would be hanging between stages 8-10, though if we don’t keep working on our relationship we can go back to any of the earlier stages too. I agree with you, all couples have their little differences and problems. But those who bond well with each other can easily cross all of these stages. The last stage I think comes more with age than anything else – isn’t it? Or perhaps when we get over the earlier stages and cross them over.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. :)

  9. Shalu Sharma

    April 27, 2013 at 1:08 am

    These stages makes a lot of sense to me. I can’t say which stage I am at but its definitely past the romance and infatuation stage. Probably sixth or seventh down from there. Very fascinating indeed.

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      Harleena Singh

      April 27, 2013 at 1:41 am

      Hi Shalu,

      Nice to know that you could relate to the post :)

      I know it can be a little confusing to make out which stage you are in, but just as I was telling Corina, the married lots generally have crossed most of these stages of love relationships and are at the end phases. I guess bringing in the #1 stage somewhere into our lives would make our marriages better :)

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us :)

  10. Deone Higgs

    April 27, 2013 at 2:42 am

    Yes, I would agree wholeheartedly that there are various stages in loving relationships, Harleena.

    A relationships is a process, and with any process one will have stages. I would say that me and my mate are in the trusting process. I feel that it is also during this stage we build upon our commitment with the other person. A person tends to learn if they can trust this other person with their most valuable treasures, like the heart, mind, and soul. When we find someone who fully accepts who we are, and whatever else they will learn about us along the way, we’ve truly received a Divine gift. It’s imperative we treat it as such. Speaking from far too many experiences, love that is found operates best in full awareness that we are in its presence.

    This was a fantabulous post, Harleena. Thank you for the sharpening points you addressed, and gave me more to consider bringing to my own relationship. Blessings to you and yours, my friend. :)

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      April 27, 2013 at 11:02 am

      Hi Deone,

      Glad you agree with these various stages of love relationship most of us go through :)

      Absolutely! You nailed it right there – it IS a continuous process that needs to be worked up by both sides. With trust comes commitment as you rightly mentioned, and this stage is what makes the relationship stronger too. Being in love and being loved are both so different, and as you rightly mentioned they give you a divine feeling on contentment and inner-happiness. Just being your true selves and loving each other unconditionally is truly the blissful moment, which if achieved make it all worth the while.

      Thank you for stopping by and adding so much more value to the post. It’s always a pleasure to have you here with us :)

  11. bharathi

    April 27, 2013 at 2:37 pm

    Wow.. i think m in trust stage after being in relationship for 2 1/2 years..might have crossed doubt stage i guess it was painful though.

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      Harleena Singh

      April 27, 2013 at 4:57 pm

      Welcome to the blog Bharathi!

      Nice to know about the stage of love you are in, and I think the trust stage is an important one as well. I agree, the doubt stage is painful and oftentimes people tend to breakup in that stage too. Nevertheless, wish you the best in your other stages ahead :)

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  12. Kumar Suhas

    April 27, 2013 at 3:49 pm

    Hi Harleena , with every new article you are becoming better .

    This article is a result of quality research and study . While going through I could realize that every step comes in effect in every relationship. Though I have not been personally through all the stages but yes I agree that they do exist in a relationship.

    Thank for sharing this with us.

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      Harleena Singh

      April 27, 2013 at 5:09 pm

      Hi Kumar,

      Ah…I take that as a compliment – so thank you for your kind words :)

      Yes, a part of it is while the other part is what one’s faced in life ourselves, which I’m sure you too can relate to.

      Certain stages of love relationship might not come in say friendship I would say, unless it’s a very intimate one, while others would depend on how close you are to your partner. Not everyone goes through all these stages in their lives, and just as I was telling others above, there are no hard and fast rules that these are the stages all of us have to go through. A lot depends from one person to another and the bond they share with their partner.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us :)

  13. Temilola Globalwalyy

    April 27, 2013 at 7:07 pm

    There you go again Harleena,

    I guess you created this Niche yourself, you just keep bragging your writing skill every minute.. I love that :)

    In theses life a relation go through many stage
    The AWESOME time and the AWKWARD time, both are very important in order to know how strong your relationship are,…
    Thank you for these great post once again

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      Harleena Singh

      April 27, 2013 at 7:29 pm

      Hi Temilola,

      Hey…I didn’t create this niche myself, and I think these stages in love relationship comes in most of our lives – don’t they? I guess that’s why i just went ahead and wrote about them :)

      I absolutely agree with you there – we do come across the ups and downs, the good and bad in a relationship, and that’s exactly what makes the bond stronger too. I guess such are the ways of love.

      Thanks for stopping by and for your kinds words :)

  14. B k chowla

    April 27, 2013 at 7:21 pm

    Yap,there are different stages.
    But,I will confess..there is one stage which must have been faced by most couples and that is ….am I being cheated?
    Answer is…trust each other

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      Harleena Singh

      April 27, 2013 at 7:32 pm

      Hi BK,

      Ah…that doubtful stage does come in all our lives, and I think it happens because they haven’t yet come to the trust stage. Crossing that stage of doubt isn’t easy either, and those who do, achieve a great deal in their relationship.

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  15. Sylviane Nuccio

    April 28, 2013 at 5:33 am

    This is a great post Harleena, and I can think of someone I know who needs to read this. I will pass it along to him.

    To me I would say that the most exciting and dangerous stage (at the same time) is the infatuation one, because does that one make you blind or what?I don’t want to sound negative, but this is a phase where you will ignore all the bells and alarms that are trying to warn you. Yes, that stage of love truly makes you blind, and I don’t really look for this anymore in my life at all. :)

    I like better the stages where we start knowing each other well and where we have built an healthy level of trust and knowing each other so well that we could answer for our partner without any doubt of being wrong.

    Personally, I’m so not interested in relationship at this time of my life that’s not even funny, but that’s a fact. But at the moment I kind of like it that way :)

    Thanks again for a wonderful topic.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      April 29, 2013 at 9:57 am

      Hi Sylviane,

      Glad you liked the post and could relate to it, and thanks for passing it on to whomsoever might need it too :)

      When people in love are in the romantic stage – there is excitement and just a heavenly feeling being together. I don’t think lovers think it to be a dangerous one at that stage as they are so in awe of each other and drop all their negativeness and just see the good in each other – that’s why love IS blind – in stage at least. Ah…perhaps you’ve crossed this stage long back (but didn’t you go through it when it was there?) – just as I’ve too, though ask the new lovers how they feel about it :)

      Absolutely! Those stages of love relationship where the understanding and trust really develops are the real building blocks of any relationship I would say. But again, they come later in most cases I think. Perhaps at first there needs to be something to attract you to a person, infatuate you, get you to start loving them, and then the understanding of each other comes up, once you know you both click well. Yet again, it all depends from person to person and how they take their relationships.

      I can understand that, and it’s perfectly alright to be in this state of bliss too. But you never know who you might come across in your life later :)

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post :)

  16. Mayura

    April 29, 2013 at 12:43 am

    Hi Harleena,

    Mmm… I feel when we try to explore about love, it feels complicated :D lol… In such areas I like to be simple enough.

    I really love the love and how it feels Harleena :) May be I’m fortunate enough not to hurt from love or been lack of love.

    Well, the hardest part is being related to one stage. From my point of view, I believe it’s in understanding stage but still I wonder why we haven’t been in to disturbance and changing stage much. It’s like shifting from Romance to Understanding.

    Anyway I think it’s mostly because we have less interaction except for chatting and messaging Harleena. Yet I couldn’t see her for over 8 months in person :) Probably marriage will be the next meet up, I hope :D lol… Parents can be too much confusing with their old fashioned thinking sometimes. But yet we need to respect as we got all the time we need.

    However we have decided to stick into our core activities until we get together :) So there I’m undecided about a stage to fit in exactly Harleena. May be it’s Romance + a hiatus yet. Or we are simply not that MOST couples :)

    I don’t think I’m experienced enough to talk about it all yet dear :) I’m just a starter and still with more limitations which implies that marriage would be the whole new starting point which open doors for a new World ;)

    Thanks for wonderful post and putting it all together with your experiences Harleena :) Enjoyed reading some comments from experienced folks here. Pretty interesting when experiences being discussed :)

    You have a wonderful brand new week Harleena :)

    Cheers…

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      April 29, 2013 at 10:19 am

      Hi Mayura,

      Ah…it’s nice to read you comment on love, more so because you are going through this phase in your life presently :)

      I agree, simplicity is the best – and when you are honest and straight forward about your feelings – it’s even better as you bond better in your relationship too.

      I think you are in the romance stage and have switched over to the understanding one, without really touching the doubtful stage, which is wonderful. Or perhaps as you rightly mentioned, you don’t meet all that much and when the interaction isn’t much, the differences are bound to be less. However, without mutual understanding (as in your case), many relationships don’t last long when people can’t meet (but that won’t happen in your case I know). I guess because you both know that marriage is the next step – you both do understand the distance, which in a way also makes the hearts grow fonder :)

      Oh yes…parents sometimes can complicate things between partners, not because they want to or have any other motive, but because they think differently or want you to go the way they did when they were your age. I guess they don’t realize that with changing times, everything needs to change…but that’s how all parents are – so you aren’t alone there. And as you mentioned, we need to respect their feelings and views as sometimes even culture and society is on their mind, so they tend to stop us from meeting too often before marriage and all those things. Old fashioned I know, but they have their reasons and we ought to respect them.

      Don’t get worried about what stage of love relationship you are in, as what matters is that you are in love and about to get married! Though I feel you are somewhere between stages #4 – #6.

      I also enjoy reading all the wonderful comments and the experiences of everyone on all of my posts, and I think this interaction helps everyone to know more about such topics – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. I hope you are together soon with your loved one and tie to knot too. :)

  17. Mosam Gor

    April 29, 2013 at 2:26 pm

    Hi Harleena Ma’am

    umm.. Thnaks for Sharing Love Relationship Stages! :D i am new all of this things like love and Romance….. :P..

    But the most stage i like Romance & infatuation stage :P :D… Thanks for Sharing ma’am!! Really Enjoy this post :)

    Keep Rocking :P

    -Mosam

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      Harleena Singh

      April 30, 2013 at 8:32 am

      Hi Mosam,

      You are most welcome, and I hope these stages of love relationship help people understand their relationships better :)

      Aha…that’s nice to hear, and I think you can take a lot back home from this post then. Oh yes…the romantic stage is the best of all, especially for those who have just fallen in love, though all the stages have their own charm.

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  18. Hiten

    April 29, 2013 at 6:41 pm

    Hi Harleena,

    I really appreciate the way you explained the different stages in a love relationship. Although, I’ve never considered such stages before, after reading your post, I can see how these stages work. I guess what is important for me, is to understand that these stages(particulary the latter ones) are normal processes, which a couple will go through. I think by having such stages laid out in our minds, it leaves us in a better position to follow the tips you have stated in your post, to deal with the difficulties in each stage.

    Thank you.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      April 30, 2013 at 8:55 am

      Hi Hiten,

      I’m glad you liked the post and the various stages explained too :)

      You’re absolutely right – in our normal day-to-day life we never think about these stages, and in most of the cases we just shift from one to the other, or might skip a few, or might just be happy in any one of these. It all depends.

      But if we get stuck somewhere or things aren’t in our favor, the easiest option for people nowadays is to end it all. Just as you mentioned, if they knew that it’s all part of the relationship stages, they’d take things in a more positive way – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us :)

  19. Koundeenya

    April 29, 2013 at 7:27 pm

    Excellent, Harleena.

    I’ve read some really nice posts, which are written from the science and psychology background, about love. But, this is truly complete. You’ve amazingly categorized and explained them in detail.

    It’s such a nice feeling with all these emotions, mixed.

    Thank you for sharing.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      April 30, 2013 at 9:03 am

      Hi Koundeenya,

      Thanks for your kind words, and I take that as a compliment :)

      Yes, I’ve also read a few of them but they weren’t all that in detail or were too scientific in nature, which makes it tough for people to understand. I guess using your own experiences and including them alongside makes a difference.

      It sure is a wonderful feeling when anyone’s going through these stages of love relationship :)

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  20. Annie André

    April 29, 2013 at 8:33 pm

    Oh yeah, I totally believe that their are different stages of love and relationships. I know a family friend (friend of my fathers) who has been married for 60 years. They have been through it all. Mike, the husband still pats his wifes butt and calls her honey and holds her hand. They seem so in synch with one another. I strive to have that when I am 80 years old too which i think can only be achieved unless you have experienced a lifetime together.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      April 30, 2013 at 9:10 am

      Hi Annie,

      Nice to know that you agree too :)

      Ah…I guess seeing them in so much of love makes us just wish that we too reach that stage someday – isn’t it? I’ve seen my parents, and though I lost my mom a few years back – I think they would have been married 50 years too by now, and were so much in love.

      I agree, all of this can only happen when you’ve been together for a long period of time. Love grows on you slowly as they say :)

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with all of us :)

  21. sapna

    April 29, 2013 at 10:46 pm

    HI Di,

    Great Share as always!

    I think you’ve explained the stages the way, it usually happens in this relationship.Without doubt I’d say I’m at stage 9 and I’m relishing that.But yes we follow the iterative methodology we tend to visits certain stages back and forth but that too at the superficial level and try to keep it interesting.

    My Husband has the knack of pulling some very interesting story from somewhere and then make a point of taking my views over that, which at times results in bickering and then he’d back out saying that he wants to spice up the relationship.

    Thanks Di for this great share and have a great week ahead.

    Sapna

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      April 30, 2013 at 9:23 am

      Hi Sapna,

      Glad you could resonate with the post :)

      Stage 9 means you’ve surely achieved a lot in your relationship, and that’s wonderful too. Oh yes…the shifting of stages goes on, but as long as you remain in your present stage and visit those ones off and on it’s alright.

      That’s sweet of him I would say. He surely IS trying to spice up the relationship and everyone needs a mixture of both sides at times – it does add more value to the relationship for sure. :)

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with us. Have a nice week ahead too. :)

  22. Praveen Rajarao

    April 30, 2013 at 12:30 am

    Awesome post as usual Harleena.

    You have completely captured everything there is to know and learn about a love relationship. I just don’t have anything to add to this, it is perfect and very much in depth.

    Life just cant be what it is, without most of the things you have mentioned here, that is what spices it up and makes us look forward for in the days to come.

    Thanks for sharing this wonderful article :-)

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      April 30, 2013 at 9:28 am

      Hi Praveen – nice to see you after long :)

      Thank you for your kind words :)

      Absolutely! Life is a part and parcel and a perfect blend of the ups and downs. These stages of love relationship do add spice to life, which make it all the more interesting – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views :)

  23. Theodore Nwangene

    April 30, 2013 at 2:05 am

    A wonderful post Leena,
    And of cause, it really got me thinking. I remembered vividly the first time i met my formal girl friend and when she said yes to me.

    Men, i couldn’t even sleep at night, all the time i will be thinking about her that i will even forget to eat some times… Lol

    But all that are gone now, i think we never passed the Romance stage though.

    Thanks for sharing Harlenna, really sweet.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      April 30, 2013 at 9:35 am

      Hi Theodore,

      Glad you liked the post and it got you thinking :)

      Aha…so you could connect with the Romance stage that time – isn’t it? Sleepless night and forgetting to eat…all the right symptoms!

      It’s nice if you are still at that stage, which I guess would pass by once you plan moving ahead with your relationship – hope that’s soon. :)

      Thanks for stopping by and contributing to the post :)

  24. valentine belonwu

    April 30, 2013 at 2:09 am

    A really thought provoking post Harleena,
    I’ve been in almost all the stages you mentioned here and I’m really enjoying the transformation if you ask me.

    I agree that the most fun stage is the Romantic stage because that’s the first experience and thats where every other thing also starts from.

    But unfortunately, most people never pass that stage just as Theodore said because of one thing or the other. But, if they can pass that first stage, then going the through other stages might be simple.

    Thanks for sharing.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      April 30, 2013 at 9:53 am

      Welcome to the blog Valentine! (That’s a nice name!)

      All the stages…that’s wonderful indeed! Even the last one? I guess not, as that comes only with time and being together for long with someone you love.

      The romance stage is where it all starts from, and while a few prefer staying at this stage itself, others wanting more from their relationship move on and keep progressing to the other stages – right till the end.

      I wonder why moving on from the Romance stage seems so tough, or perhaps such people aren’t too serious yet about their partners where marriage is concerned. The other stages I feel are tougher than this first one or passing it, as the deeper you get to know the real person, the more you realize that they might not be the one you thought them to be – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  25. Sherman Smith

    April 30, 2013 at 8:08 am

    Great topic Harleena.

    As I was reading through it I thought that maybe we were between stages 4 or 5, but as I was going through it and It seems like we’re all over the place LOL…. it seems like we go through a repetitive cycle like the seasons of winter, spring, summer, and fall. I guess you can see we’re like old friends that stay inseparable through the good times and bad.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      April 30, 2013 at 10:00 am

      Hi Sherman – nice to have you back :)

      Ah…I can understand that kind of a feeling, and it’s very normal as we keep shifting from one stage to the other, though for some period of time, and then are back to our real stage – isn’t it?

      I like that…inseparable through the good and bad time, and I think that’s what makes the whole journey worthwhile too :)

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  26. Siddhartha Sinha

    April 30, 2013 at 10:45 am

    Nice lessons on stages of love relationship, definietly one follow will get the reult.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      May 1, 2013 at 6:12 pm

      Welcome to the blog Siddhartha!

      Glad you liked these stages of love relationship that most people go through, and yes, you will get results provided you remain sincere in all of them – isn’t it?

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  27. Debbie

    April 30, 2013 at 10:42 pm

    Wonderful article Harleena!

    Sorry to have missed it earlier. After almost 42 years together and 40 married, (in a few months), we have certainly gone through every single stage you mentioned and are at our greatest stage of contentment ever! :-) Many people break up at stage two, because they have such unrealistic expectations. One could possibly blame this on a lack of maturity.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      May 1, 2013 at 6:19 pm

      Hi Debbie,

      No worries about missing it – as it’s always here anytime you visit :)

      Wow – awesome I must say! You surely seem to have gone through it all, and perhaps must be reaching the last stage now. I agree, most people give up too soon or perhaps they don’t want to try harder and make those efforts we made when we started of. I guess times have changed and so has the patience of people, though I wish they would wait a while.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us :)

  28. Jodi

    April 30, 2013 at 11:55 pm

    Harleena,

    I am curious where you get your research from about these stages? I have never heard of them before! I am am so interested! I do agree with Sherman, and think they may not be universal or linear. Very thorough post! And you;ve gotten great feedback!

    Thanks for writing it!

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      May 1, 2013 at 6:25 pm

      Hi Jodi,

      I’m glad you liked the post and yes, I’m overwhelmed with the response. I love my readers and blog community to be so open and interactive even on personal issues like this. I’m sure it helps other readers to learn from the knowledge and experience of others.

      Ah… my only source of research is the Google search engine. Though I did research the topic well, I did add up my own thoughts and experiences from life. I agree with you and Sherman that these stages may not be universal, linear, or in the order as presented in this post. But as the feedback has it, majority of people have really gone through most of these stages in their married lives, some time or the other.

      Thanks for stopping by and reflecting on the post. :)

  29. Adrienne

    May 1, 2013 at 1:42 am

    I never put any titles to these stages Harleena but I’ll definitely agree with you about these.

    This may be rather sad but I think I’ve only been infatuated with maybe one guy in my entire life. Oh I was excited to go out with them for the first time but I was never the girl to fall for a guy instantly. I was the kind that thought with my head and not my heart. Way too realistic I guess.

    It’s been so long now I don’t even really remember too much of what I went through. Yeah, that’s kind of sad but great tips here. Especially great advice for the young ones. ;-) Read up kids!

    ~Adrienne

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      May 1, 2013 at 7:01 pm

      Hi Adrienne,

      I agree with you there, nor did I. But when I was researching for this post, there were mainly three to five stages most experts had written about but all scientifically, which I felt should be simplified and broken up further for better understanding.

      Ah…am sure that stage must have been a nice one to be in while it lasted. I can understand that as I too was like that, though my heart always ruled over my head :)

      I just hope those who are going through these stages of love relationship in their lives find some help thought this post, and don’t give up soon enough.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with us :)

  30. Leon

    May 6, 2013 at 8:39 am

    Incredible writing. This has definitely enlightened me and gave me something to think about before I even think about diving into my next relationship. Thank you!

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      May 6, 2013 at 8:46 am

      Welcome to the blog Leon!

      Thank you for your kind words :)

      I’m glad you could find something of value from this post, which am sure would help you in your future relationships. Wishing you all the very best.

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  31. Leon

    May 6, 2013 at 8:56 am

    Glad to have found your blog! Lots of good reading to catch up on!

    I love reading positive blogs that can help people improve on their livelihood and future.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      May 6, 2013 at 9:01 am

      It surely is nice of you to have stopped by. Hope you enjoy the other posts too :)

      Thanks once again :)

  32. Kristine

    May 13, 2013 at 7:05 am

    What an enjoyable read this was.

    I think I have gone through most of these stages with elements from each stage, but not necessarily in order – pretty close though. I am sure that everyone would love to get to the final unconditional love stage with their partners but it would be very hard to achieve as one would have to take out their ego. It would take a strong willed person who can learn to give themselves without some hint of ego involved.

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      May 13, 2013 at 6:48 pm

      Welcome to the blog Kristine!

      I agree with you there – most of us have gone through these stages of love relationship, though the order may be a little different, or we might have even skipped a few stages.

      Ah…the final stage is surely the toughest to cross, but yes, couples do come to that one with age and time for sure. I’ve seen my parents come very close to that stage, though sadly, my Mom passed away a few years back, or else they would be true living examples within my family. You’re right…there is no question of any kind of ego from both sides in this stage :)

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  33. Ron

    May 17, 2013 at 11:34 am

    This is great!! Yesterday I was watching the game with one of my close friend at DNBs and I was thinking to myself where I would be right now If I was still with one of my ex. I started thinking about all the good times we had and how wonderful she was as a person. Now that I read your article of stage 7, made me realized how amazing the girl that I am with now!

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      May 24, 2013 at 9:23 am

      Hi Ron,

      Glad to know that you could resonate with the post :)

      Relationships need to be nurtured more than anything else, and while some work, some aren’t just meant to be. Nice to know that when you went through these stages of love relationship you realized some things. Hope it helps you in your future relationships too.

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  34. Sebastian Aiden Daniels

    May 24, 2013 at 1:20 am

    Hey Harleena.

    This was a great article. I saved it to my bookmarks bar. I was wondering if you think these stages besides the sexual stuff can be applied to stages in a friendship?

    • Profile photo of Harleena Singh

      Harleena Singh

      May 24, 2013 at 9:27 am

      Hi Sebastian,

      Glad you liked the post and thanks for bookmarking it too :)

      Yes indeed, these can be very much applied to the stages in friendship too, except the sexual stage. Even the last spiritual stage comes much later in friendship I guess, or unless you’ve been friends with someone for a long time to know them well enough.

      Thanks for stopping by :)

  35. Lise Banker

    June 19, 2013 at 5:20 pm

    Hi Harleena, as usual, this is another eye opening post on this blog.

    I wish I read this before I ever went into love. In point of fact, I almost fail in my relationship due to my lack of understanding of all these stages you mentioned here.

    Even after my wife (then a gf) told me everything (including the seemingly ugly ones), I didn’t see any of them as something that would hurt me in the future.

    The stage one as mentioned here in-deed explains the common saying “love is blind”. It is the stage you hardly see anything wrong in your partner; even the obvious ones are easily overlooked because of the infatuation thing. I was blind and very careless to necessities in those days. Same thing happened to my partner, I guessed.

    But as we progressed to the other stages, we became more awaken to our normal senses and our hidden weaknesses and the overlooked ones became conspicuous and now irritating. The inevitable frustrations began to set in. If not that we were probably meant for each other, we’d have broke up during one of those other stages.

    We’re actually at the stage 5 now and I belief we’ll make it forever; because we get to understand each other better everyday.

    The post is still very helpful, it opened my eye to what I should expect in the nearest future.

    Cheers!

  36. Yemi

    October 10, 2013 at 1:55 am

    You are an insightful writer, i can’t believe i read everything from the beginning to the end. Love is magical and i really pray God should help me pass through all the stages successfully. I’ll keep visiting.

  37. Catalina Lindegaard

    November 4, 2013 at 3:43 am

    Hi Harleena, thank you so much for this very helpful and well-informed post

    I myself suffer from a variety of mental illnesses, one of the more dominant ones being severe anxiety, which makes a few of these stages extremely difficult to live through, especially the Disturbance Stage, which sometimes opens a door for a bit of Doubting to enter. But after reading this article, I’m more convinced that I’m not in the wrong and that what I’m going through is normal and it makes me feel less guilty.

    We’re in the Disturbance stage right now, I reckon, I being the one distancing myself and my boyfriend being the one feeling upset over my lack of affection ( we’ve been together for almost four years now, but we got together when we were 13/14 so obviously the romantic phase lasted a whole lot longer since we didn’t really understand the hardships of love back then). I feel very guilty at times, but I am convinced that this is just another challenge we have to go through in order for our relationship to become stronger and greater than ever.

    If only we could all just be happy with one another without any distress, huh?!

    Thank you once again for the lovely article, it really calmed me from a lot of stress and anxiety that I’ve been dealing with since I entered this stage.
    I will definitely refer to this in the future!

  38. Isabella

    February 5, 2014 at 10:31 am

    In my opinion there is one important, yet intangible, thing everybody wants more than anything else, and that is to be appreciated. Being appreciated and complimented makes a person feel important. When you feel important, you feel needed and wanted, and this gives you a reason for existing. :)

  39. priyamathi

    June 23, 2014 at 10:45 am

    Hi,

    Nice topic. This topic really suit for me. Because i loss my loved once. By miss understanding and lack of interest on him. I m worried so much. I’ll not forget him.

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